THE CITIZEN, FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5. 1913. PAGE FIVE Wants, For Sale, Etc. TELEPHONE your Want Adver tisements for this department Use either phone. Call 157 on tne Bell and 101 on the Consolidated. 'Talk, don't walk!" Advertisements and reading notices of all kinds placed In this column will be charged for at tho rate of one centper word for each separate Insertion. When sending us advertisements to be printed in this column, cash or stamps must ac company the order. r; on SALE-F.urnlture, KUBS, etc iil r most new: also an lnvnlld's wheel chair. V. W. Wood. 105 W. 11th St. 72eltf EN noushers Wanted, Demer Bros. jo. inc. uicui FOIt SALE-Two good colts, two years old, and one five months old. Clar ence Stevens, Ariel, Ta. 'ztl EVERT pupil In Wayne county s schools wants a spelling booklet. Sent by The Citizen Publishing Company, Honesdale, Pa., for 11 cents postpaid. Stamps accepted. MtI' HOUSE FOIt RENT Burcher house on East Extension street with range. Modern. Inaulre of W. W. Baker or F. P. Kimble, Esq., trustees. 71eltf. Wi ANTED Several blight girls and boys W from 14 years upward to learn the silk trade. Good pay While learning. Steady advancement. Dexter-Lambert Co. 71eltf FOR RENT On September 1st seven room lower tenement. East Eleventh street: also six-room tenement and bath, second story, East Eleventh street. Both good condition. J. E. Richmond. 63tfel 1X7 ANTED Girls . In stitching room. " Steady employment. Durland-Wes-ton Shoe Co. 71eI4t WANTED Ten to 20 Inexperienced girls whose ages range from 14 years up wards to nil positions In our various de partments. Good pay to start. Steady employment. Apply at once to Katz Un derwear Company, Sixth street, Hones dal . Pa. GSeiO. WANTED Day operators at once. Ap ply to Consolidated Telephone Com panies of Pennsylvania. 67tf THE Katz Underwear Company de sires suitable boarding houses for young ladles in their employment. In en tering please state number you can ac commodate, etc. Katz Underwear Co. 71ei2t. MISS GRACE CLARK, number 44 W est 22nd St., New York City. Let me do your shopping! One trial will con vince satisfaction. No charge. Out of town patrons accompanied, if desired. References given. 67eltf WANTED Men with selling ability. Our specialties are quick sellers. Honesdale Specialty Sales Agency. 03tf BICYCLES and all kinds of supplies and sundiies at Graham Watts hardware store. oltf FOR RENT Top floor of Foster build ing opoosite Union station. Suitable for lodge rooms. Apply Utorge Foster . 69tf. HREE-YEAR-OLD COLT pure Eth bel strain sorrel! broke single good roadster very gentle and of fine disposi tion, for sale. Address Jas. Cook, Hones dale, R. D. No. 2. WANTED Girl for general housework. Apply 1114 Court street, Honesdale. 33eitf. THE 1S00 words which will be used in the district and Teachers' Institute contests are for sale at the Citizen of fice, Honesdale, Pa., for only 10 cents or 11 cents postpaid. One and two cents stamps accepted. OStr FOR RENT Seven rooms and a bath In the Buel Dodge house, down stairs, corner of Church and Seventh streets af ter June 1st. Enquire of C. E. Dodge, Honesdale. 40tf. TWELVE PAIRS OF WINDOW blinds 4 1-2 x 14 inches, practically as good as new. for sale cheap. Address for particulars, Lock Box C8, Honesdale. THROW A WAT your old Sprayer and get one of our Gould's Compressed Air Sprayers. Saves your time and your temper, and does BETTER work. Mur ray Co., Honesdale, Pa. PYROX for Potatoes Kills both the bugs and the blight. Murray Co., honesdale,' Pa. NOW IS THE TIME to stop flies. Screen doors and windows of all sizes at a good price, at G. Watts, dealer In Hardware. ONE DOLLAR will open an account at the Farmers and Mechanics Bank. Courteous treatment to all. 46tr FARMING IMPLEMENTS of all kinds. Special prices on mowing machines, Hay Rakes, Guards, Etc. Graham Watts. Bltf. WHAT'S the use of fret and worry over senseless cares and strife? Use these adlets in a hurry, let them smooth your path of life. MAKE YOUR MONEY WORK, then in older days you will not have to. The Farmers and Mechanics Bank can take care of you. Open a bank account with that Institution to-day. 46tf SEND Tho Citizen Publishing Com pany 11 cents for a copy of tho spelling contest words 68tf DISON TALKING MACHINE. $5.00. Where? Mclntyro's. 70el3t OLIVER TYPEWRITER FOR SALE Good condition, used only a month. No. 6 model. Bargain for quick buyer. Address F, Citizen office, Honesdale, Pa. 49tf. SALE BILLS, trespass notices on cloth, and printing of all kinds for the farmer Is made a specialty at The Citizen prlntery. DON'T KEEP your money home. Bring It to the Farmers and Me chanics Bank, Honesdale, Pa., where It will draw interest. 46tf SALE BILLS, trespass notices on cloth, and printing of all kinds for the farmer is made a specialty at The Citizen prlntery. Honesdale and Greater Honesdale A marriage license has been is sued to Archie Smith and Miss Flor ence Miller, both of Starrucca. Norman W. Bigart, of Hawley, and Bertha h. Oarrett, of Honesdale, were married on Saturday, August 30. In Hawley. Rev. Donald Mac Kellar performed tho ceremony at the parsonage. Owing to tho fact that boys break and destroy the benches In Darks of Honesdale the local lm- proveraent association have resort ed to using stono insieaa oi wooa or iron. One largo millstone for many years used in the Torrey grist mill has been located near tho en trance of Riverside park. It is to bo mounted on a concrete base and will make a very substantial resting place. Another seat, which Is a half millstone, has been placed next to a tree at the right of a tmth through tho park. Street Commis sioner woidner is doing tne work, Walter J. Huck has purchased of his father a house and lot located at 547 River street. The dwelling is two stories high and the lot is 62 by 118 feet. Jason L. Brigham and MIsb Idola A. Calkin, both of Damascus, were united in marriage at the par sonage at Carley Brook, Aug. 27, by Rev. J. H. Boyce, pastor of the Methodist church. The Honesdale public schools will open on Monday, September 8, to begin the fall term, after having been closed during the summer months. A large enrollment is con fidently expected. The executive committee of the Wayne County Teachers' Association have decided to hold the next meet ing of the association at Lakewood, Preston township, on October 3-4. This decision was made at a recent meeting of the executive committee. The rink outfit was sold at Sheriff's sale Thursday morning. The organ, skates and contents were sold entire to T. J. Bauer of Haw ley. Mr. Bauer is proprietor of the Hawley rink and will add his ac quisitions to his own equipment in Hawley. Tuesday evening, Miss Eda M. Emmons entertained at a variety shower for Miss Jane D. Hagaman, who is to be a September bride. Five Hundred was played, and prizes were won by Misses Ruth B. Lord, and Edith K. Swift. A very pleasant evening was enjoyed. W. Chas. Muir, a member of the choir at Trinity Chapel, New York city, delighted the congrega tion of the M. E. church with several solos during his .stay in Honesdale. Mr. Muir's voice combines both sweetness and power and his enun ciation is exceptionally fine. Elsewhere in to-day's Citizen there appears a notice asking for bids for installing new individual seats and a new floor in each of the four grades in the brick or L of the new school building, Honesdale. The school directors are planning to have these improvements made dur ing institute week, which is in No vember. Anything is liable to happen or occur on Thirteenth street. The quoit club of that street is so eager to play that candles have been used with considerable success of late. The club, however, have made ar rangements with the electric light company to install a private light on that street for its benefit. There are some members of the club that play better at night than in day light. Miss Amy Cory entertained on Irving Cliff In honor of her friend, Miss Margaret De Perry of Tennes see, on Labor Day. Those present were: Ethel Lee, Mrs. Chester Gar ratt, Helen and Marion Charles worth, Vera Eberhardt, Mrs. Blanche Horton and her sister-in-law, Miss Horton, of Long Island City, Marie Freund, Alma Schuller, Estella Congon, Mrs. Leon Ross, Mrs. Harold Van Keuren and Bessie Law yer. There is nothing but fun in Charley Grapewin's "Sweethearts and Wives-' which will be ono of the early attractions here. The plot is new and original and is founded on the complications that follow the mixing up of tw.o yellow suit cases belonging to two commercial travel lers, which bear the same initials, "J. H." "Sweethearts and Wives" will be sumptuously mounted and presented by a company of unusual excellence. The Honesdale Improvement As sociation calls attention to the un tidy condition in which young people who visit the parks leave the places. Peanut shells, banana peels, newspapers, etc., are found every morning upon the ground. The association has placed cans and other receptacles In dif ferent parts of the town for rubbish of this character and if parties fre quenting these places had any civic pride they would refrain from litter ing the parks with debris. Many White Mills young people who have been spending the summer with relatives at home left for school on Monday. They are: Clarence El more, who goes back to business col lege, Scranton; Miss Mary Gray, to take up her duties as teacher in a school near Hawley in Palmyra township; Walber Swanson went to Stroudsburg to attend normal school; Sidney Downs went to Winwood where ho will take up his duties as vice-principal of the high school of that place; Leo Gill went back to St. Thomas college; Miss Fannie John son left for Canaan Corners where she will teach the coming term. Wednesday, September 3, was the last day for registering your name for the purpose of voting at the coming primary election which will be held on September 16th. On that day the office of the county com missioners was kept busy receiving the registry books from the 42 dis tricts of Wayne county, from the reg istry assessors who have completed their work. The registration shows that throughout the county the Re publicans are coming back into the fold of the old party. In some dis tricts the Republicans lead by more than 16 to 1 over the Washington party men and almost '2 to 1 over the Democrats. George E. Taylor, of Elk Lake, who has a number of friends in Scranton, is making plans to take up missionary work in China, says the Tribune-Republican. He will take his family with him to that far-off country. He tells an interesting story of the' manner In which he ar rived at the determination to make the far East the scene of his future lifework. When the United States declared war on Spain he enlisted and went with his company to Cuba. His letters home showed, he was so lonesome and homesick that a broth er joined him to keep him company. The brother sickened and died while in camp and Mr. Taylor, broken hearted, vowed that if his life was spared he would consecrate his fu ture life to religious work. When tho war ended he began to prepare himself for such a career and now proposes to make good his pledge by removing to a field where ho believes he can do a great deal of good. Mrs. Charles Volkhart will en tertain with cards on Thursday af ternoon. Mrs. John Henry Strongman has issued invitations for Wednes day, September tenth at The Home stead, Bethany, when both Auction and Five Hundred will be played. Miss Lucy Forbes Russell's cards are out for an ' At Homo " to be given at the Russell residence, Thursday afternoon, in honor of her friend and houseguest, Mrs. Horace T. Aplington, of Fort Ethan Allen, Vermont. A suit 4n assumpsit for the re covery at law of ?280.70 from C. A. Cortrlght & Son. has been filed in the local court by H. H. Curtis through his attorneys. He alleges non-payment of check on Dime Bank for that amount. PERSONAL MENTION. Airs. Wm. Belknap, of Ciemo, was in town on Friday. Miss Myrtle Gill 'of White Mills, is spending some time in Hawley. Mrs. C. E. Mills is visiting her sister, Mrs. U. S. Beers, at Dalton. Frank H. Thomas, of Valley Lawn farm, Dyberry, Is erecting a new silo. Miss Dorothy Reichenbacker is visiting relatives and friends In Brooklyn. Mrs. Applington of New Hamp shire, is the guest of Mr. and Mrs. H. Z. Russell this week. Mrs. Edward Stinnard, Miss Lil lian Eno, John Eno and son Frank are visiting relatives here. Herbert Benny will- leave Satur day morning for New York city where he will view the sights for one week. T. A. Crossley has .returned from Fairview Lake, Pike county, after spending his vacation with his fam ily and father at that place. Mrs. U. G. Ridgeway has returned from Mountain Top, Pa., where she has been a guest of her husband and son, Homer, who is now with his father. Mr. and Mrs. W. Chas. Muir and daughter, Jean, of New York City; who have been spending the past ten days with P. R. Collum and family, returned home on Tuesday. A. F. Schimmell, "while lifting a piece of ice on Wednesday afternoon, accidentally caught the third finger of his hand underneath the cake amputating the digit at the second joint. Miss Bessie Healy left on Friday for Binghamton, N. Y., to visit her sister, Mrs. McKinney. She also ex pects to spend a few days with friends at Newport, N. J., before re turning home. Dr. C. F. Barager is confined, to his home in Hazleton for a few days with an affection of the throat. He is improving however, having under gone a slight operation for the same a few days ago. Miss Mary Higgins, a school teach er of New York City, who spent the past few months at her summer home at Lake Como, recently return ed after spending a few days at the home of (Burgess C. A. McCarty. William Miller, son of Mr. and Mrs. R. J. Miller, of East street, left Wednesday for New York City where ho will bo a week-end guest of Far rlngton Burkhart. Before returning homo William will spent a week visiting his uncle, William Miller, in New Milford. Miss Harriet Arnold, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Jael Arnold, of Fif teenth street, left Wednesday after noon for Swarthmore, Pa,., where she has accepted a position as teacher of music in Swarthmore College. Mrs. Arnold accompanied Miss Harriet as far as Philadelphia. Miss Ar nold's many Honesdale school pupils and other friends wish her unbound ed success in her work. if Sumner Crossley will leave Hones dale about the 20th of September for Binghamton enroute to Chicago, where he will enter the Northwest ern University at Evanston, near the JVindy City. Sumner, for several years, was a carrier of The Citizen and we feel especially Interested in him. This paper and Sumner's many Honesdale friends wish him merited success in his chosen pro fession. BETHANY. Miss Lillian Anderson of Wllkes Barre is boarding with Mrs. D. W. Manning. Her mother, Mrs. W. P. Anderson will join her here Satur day. Mrs. Edward Ward spent Thurs day here at the Gammell home, leaving Friday to visit Mrs. Reed Burns In Scranton before returning to her home In Newark. Margaret and Elizabeth Pentecost visited their aunt, Mrs. James Johns, the past week and left here Friday to visit their grandfather, William Pentecost, in Prompton. Mortlmore Lavo is expecting a visit from his daughter, Miss Edna Lavo, of Brooklyn next week. Two of the dead locust trees bordering the path to the school, house were cut down this week and taken away by Mr. Yerkes. This, with tho painting of the building, makes a great improvement. We regret to hear of the removal of Mr. and Mrs. A. O. Blake out of the village. NIAGARA PALLS. Attractive tho Tear Round. A trip to this world renowned re sort is more than enjoyable, It is edu cational. Nothing in the Western Hemisphere surpasses this Natural Wonder, this gem in the diadem of Nature Niagara Falls. For unexcelled location and all nround general comfort, the TOWER HOTEL Is ideally situated, being di rectly opposite and above tho Falls. "PEDOS" CORN CURE re lieves pain at once and event ually cures, is cents. A Punster Punished By F. A. MITCHEL There are misfortunes and misfor tunes. It Is a misfortune to be dump ed Into an ocean from' a steamer leav lng you at the rate of twenty Unotn un hour, but you are- very soot) eltln'r saved or your troubles are ended i suffer under u misfortune tbut began with my olrtb. was added to at iu baptism and Uus been endured ever since. My father's unine wa John Darling. If he bad named ux .lonn for himself one-half my life's- lter ings would have beeD avoided, tun in mother's family nnnve wns IUii'i' and I was given that surname. I pre sume I should reinemher my iiri"it with reverence and affection. A im the latter, so I do. hut bow run inn revere n pair ot Intellects which even combined were too stupid not to fore see that I, ns boy and man, would he Rose DarlliiB' The trouble began when 1 first went to school, tbe boys suggesting that I be classed with the girls. When 1 grew older and joined n musical club I was asked If. 1 sung soprano or contralto I was called ttosie Dear. Darling Hose indeed, every play upon my name that could be Invented. Foreseeing that 'a manly part In life was needed to help mo to throw off this suggestion of effeminacy, I deter mined to become a soldier. I applied to the congressman of my district He told me that be had given out bis appointments, but I saw from the amused expression on his face that he would not think of recommendiqg a boy with such a name. I walked away to tbe nearest recruiting station and enlisted. 1 knew what ( had to expect from my comrades, nnd I was not disap pointed. I was soon given the sotibri quet ot "Sweetheart" and. except offi cially, was never called anything else I boro It stoically. When addressed as "Sweetheart" or "Rosie Dear" I did not complain, taking it ns a matter of course that Is, pretending to do so. though every time I was thus address ed it was like a stab. I resolved to be tho best soldier In my company, and I was. Notwlth standing my Incubus I was promoted to be corporal, then sergeant an'd final ly orderly sergeant. When 1 reached the highest noncommissioned office In my company I secured an advantage It enabled mo when on duty to compel the men to 'address mo by my right name. I permitted them to call nie what they liked unofficially, but the moment one of them djd so upon any official occasion I brought him up with a round turn. This gradually killed the habit My service In the ranks was during 'tho last Indian troubles, and in a tight that occurred In attempting to drive a tribe of redskins back on to their res ervation I, preferring to die rather than not gain something by which to bal ance tho disadvantage of tho name un der which I lived, fought regardless of danger. The result was that when wo got back to tbe fort tho colonel commanding sent for me. compliment ed mo and told me that ho had recom mended me for a commission. He knew mo as Sergeant Darling. Darling by Itself Is not a very bad name, and I hoped that when I camo to associate with tho commissioned officers 1 should gain a respite. I would be Mr. Dar ling, and when 1 camo to tho next grade above I would be Captain Dar ling. Then 1 would get rid of the "Rosle Dear'' and all that W But I was doomed to disappointment. I found that tbe higher I rose the more ambitious were my associates. Ambi tion takes many forms. Tho ambition of the stupidest persons, seems to bo to crack a Joke. And the stupider the person the moro reliant bo is upon an opportunity. When a few weeks later tho colonel sent for mo to hand me my commission I found him looking at tho parchment with a smile hovering about his lips. With a twinklo la bis eye bo said half musingly. "Rosedalo Darling. Rose Darling. Un hal Mr. Rose Darling, I am pleased to greet you among tho commissioned officers of the army. 1 dare say yon will be very dear to tbo ladies of tlie garrison." Thank you. colonel." 1 said, forclna a smile. That's a very good pun ol yours. How did you happen to think of it?" "On, It's in tho nam-Rose Darling, Darling Roso, Rose Dear, see?" "Upon my word," I replied, my face lighting up with assumed surprise and admiration. "Excellent! I wonder no ono over thought of it before." "Unven't they?' His own face re flecting the pleasure in mine. "Well, I suppose It's my- senso of humor." Then and thero I resolved that 1 t.'ould make a bold stroko for revenge upon him for indulging in that humor I had often seen a pretty girl of sev enteen' at guard mounting or dross parado whom I had been told was the colonel's daughter. I laid siege to her heart and after a struggle won her, though the colonel tried to head mo off Jy trumping up charges against ma I was tried and acquitted, and 1 mar ried the girl. Since then every time a (Darling) child is born to mo 1 feel that I am giving my humorous father-in-law a now stab. I have at times been tempted to lay an Incubus on one of my own boys; by naming him for myself in order to be able to gloat the moro over tho old fool who thought ho was tbe first man to pun on my tame. THE CMETUDREPfS CODffiDl "Run. ntrntie; run! Don't you see K Present and Advice. In this game all the players except two are seated In a row One of the two whispers in the ear of each child: "I 'present you with this," naming somo article, 'and tho second following after whispers, "I advise you what to do with It," giving some usually ab surd Instructions. When all are ready they in turn tell what has been given and what they ore to do with it for example, "I was presented with a pussy cat and advised to put mayonnaise dressing on It" ? i Riddles. What is that which you and every living person have seen, but can never set again? Yesterday. Why is a newborn babe like a don key's tall? Because It was never seen before I Today's Short Story J.hjj,..j..jMjj..;,;..5...;.;X...;5. II The Deacon's Fiddle I i I 4 IT was a well known fact when Abel Hastings was elected ono of tho deacons of his church that ho nut only owned a fiddle, but played on it Ho had been censured for this act of worldliness, but as It was his only weakness and as ho was eminently fitted to fill a denconshlp his brethren went ahead and took chances. But It wnsu't four weeks before he bought a piano for his daughter. At an Informal meeting of the other dea cons, tho pew openers and the box passers It was decided that a piano could not classed under tho head of naturally wicked. The question was, Could tho dclcon live In the same house with a fiddle and a piano and maintain his religious Integrity? Tho deacon's critics were watching nnd waiting. Nemesis was close on the deacon's tyeels, however. His daughter Minnie .was a general favorite, and ono winter night a lot of young people appeared ns a surprise party. He couldn't turn them away, and lie reluctantly brought out his fiddle, tuned It carefully and prepared to play. The fiddle nnd the piano started out with "Sweet By and Jly," accompa nied by all who could sing, and how they ever switched off on tb ragtime tho deacon could never explain toiilm self. It was liko a dream to him nest day. When told that tho young folks had formed in sets and danced to his "first four forward and back ladles change gents to tho left all prome nade," ho studied over it and sighed. v Beforo noon next day It was known far and wide that Deacon Hastings had fiddled for n dance. That ho would be churched was regarded as a matter of course, and it was determined that his fellow deacons Investigate before ho could run away from tho scene of his crime. Accordingly, at 7 o'clock on GEORGE C. CLARK presents HARRY A. EMERSON in II Rfi A Musical Production with 40 People-Mostly GirIs-40 PRICES : 25-35-50 and 75 cents 1 1 y i i Sent Salo starts at 0 A. M. Friday, September 5th. what kind of an animal that Is?" P. t Fox In His Den. In the game of fox a circle Is marked on the ground and Is called the fox's I den. The fox is taunted by the other players, who clrclo around. Tho fox can neither strike or bo struck while i be Is in his "den." Even when ho Is I out of his don ho can strike only when' ho Is standing on ono leg, and if he puts the other to the ground ho must' retire to his don before trying to strike, again If he succeeds in striking an-l cither player they exchange places. The Live Jumping Jack. I know allttle Jumping Jack It's really Not a toy; It's just a little Boy named Jack, A little 1 Jumping boy I tho evening after tho party, they 'filed Into his parlor to put him on the rnck. "Brethren, I hain't got much' to say," began tho culprit. "If there was a dance, and I guess there was, then tho fiddle sort of got away with me." "But you also called out tho figures to be danced, didn't you?" asked one. "Mebbo I did. When the music got to goln I felt that I had to mix In. Duriu' my sinful days I used to go to every danco within ten miles." "There can bo no doubt, brethren," said the same deacon, "that it was sin ful music nnd that there was dancing, but we must not bo too impetuous. Deacon Hopkins, will yon let us hear tho strains given last night?" The deacon called his daughter down and got out his fiddle. Whllo ho was tuning up three of Minnie's girl friends arrived and were ushered into the room. When tho music was ready, tbe derelict said: "I will show you as nigh as I can re member just how it was. Deacon Jones, you stand hero with my wife. You others stand up with these girls. Now you nro all ready. Saluto your partners! Ladles to tho right gents to tho left I All saluto! Promenado halfway round hnlf way home! All balance and swing your partners!" Tho deacons had stood up reluctant ly. They had hung back at tho first cnll. It was only for n minute, how ever. A warm wave swept them from head to heels and back, nnd they went through the figures with n vim. "That's tho way it was," said Deacon Hastings ns tho music stopped "only more of it; two hours, mebbo." Tho deacons retired to tho kitchen for a consultation, nnd when they had 'got thero they looked into eacli other's face and queried, "Well? When they had returned to tho par Id Deacon .Tones, speaking for tho rest, bc 1(1 : "Brother Hastings, wo find that you played slnfut music and that you call ed sinful calls for a sinful dance, but we nlso find that youMkMlo got away with you and that everybody enjoyed tho occasion, and so you won't hear any more about it. I may add in this connection, being ns we are hero as sembled and being as your fiddle and piano are In tune, you might favor us with a few tnoro lively airs." A1W mwm Mai nrnT c I WIT