THE CITIZEN, FRIDAY, NOVEMBER ag, 191a.
PAGE SEVEW
iW TALES
THAT ARE TOLD
ccclerated Brain Activity.
tlie curly dnys of Wisconsin two
Ibe most prominent Inwycrs of tlio
lo tvcro George B. Smith nml I. S.
i 11, the latter of whom hnd n hublt
injecting Into his rcninrks to the
rt the cipresRlon, "Your honor, 1
le nn Idea." A certain cane hnd been
l;glng along through n hot summer
I'YODn HONOR, I HAVE AN IDEA."
when Sloan sprang to his feet
his old remark, "Your honor, I
nn Idea."
tilth Immediately bounded up, ns-
led an impressive nttitude and in
It solemnity said:
Ilny It please the court, I move thnt
rlt of habeas corpus be Issued by
court Immediately to take the
Ined gentleman's Idea out of solitary
linement,"-Popular Magazine.
An Apocryphal Tale.
ropos of John D. Rockefeller'!
base of it mine for 5400,000 that
sold to the steel trust for $S0,-
1)00, a Chicago broker told, rather
fcrly perhaps, an apocryphal story
lit the oil kins.
h'hen John D. was a baby," he
I, "his mother used to sing him to
b. 'Sing a song of sixpence,' was
I lullaby she employed.
Is soon ns little John D. learned
Ialk his first logical remark was
nterruptlon to this lullaby.
I Sing a song of sixpence,' crooned
mother.
Lnd the baby, shaking its little
ll and smiling In a wheedling way,
Make It a quarter, ma, and I'll
igbt off.' "
E SONNET WAS
WELL PLACED.
ti Compliment Paid to a Poet
by an Editor.
Ibert B. Kelley, an advertising ex-
of Philadelphia, sat in the Mark-
li club turning tho seventy or eighty
es mostly advertising matter of a
fkly.
Vdvertlsing Is such an art," he said,
lit many people actually buy pe-
llcals as much for the advertise-
lits as for the reading matter."
Ir. Kelley smiled.
sat In an editor's office tho other
I," he continued, "when a poet en-
Glad to see you've accepted that
let of mine,' the poet said, fever-
Iy pushing back his long hair. 'I
hope it will be widely read.'
fit's sure to be, said the editor.
sure to be. I've placed It next to
of our most striking ads. "
"Up" In Any Case.
Irs. Langtry lu an interview In New
Ik urged gay clothes for American
li sky bine trousers, red velvet
golden waistcoats and so forth
lough she admitted that the "rah-
boy" or "trick" hat was as gay as
could wish nnd required no change.
lay clothes," said Mrs. Langtry,
courage gay thoughts, and by gay
lights I mean wholesome, cheerful
Iights. I am a foe to dissipation or
thing of that kind, and I urge
Iry girl to say 'No' to tho dissipated
Ii who would morry her."
rs, Langtry smiled and added:
Irhe man a girl Is obliged to stand
I for before marriage she will have
dt up for afterward."
Ignatius Donnelly to Caine.
II met Hall Caine In St Morltz, In
Kngadlne," said a Philadelphia,!!.
la goes to St Morltz every year,
every year ho gets to look more
I) Shakespeare.
lAt n dinner at the Kulm hotel I
tgratulated him on bis resemblance
the bard of Avon, and he said that
he, In Philadelphia, he ran by chance
loss Ignatius Donnelly, the Bacon-
ikespoare controversialist.
Donnelly, gazing reverently on Hall
no's broad white brow, pointed
Ie, thin beard and flashing eye, ro
ved his hat nnd said:
'Lord Bacon, I presume!' " Phlla-
ohla Telajrranh.
CHRISTMASY TRIFLES.
Make Somsbody Happy by Giving
Her a Reticule.
Every Christmas needloworkcr thin
year Is making a reticule for some
body. There la a craze nt present for
these graceful bags, and styles range
from slmplu affairs of linen for uso
with next summer's frocks to the most
elaborate bags of satin and gold Ince.
to bo carried with opera and theater
lostumcs. Ruch n bag, if It is to bo
Miccossful must be fashioned with the
very best of materials, and a really
handsome bag of this sort may easily
cost $4 or T5 for the materials alone,
though the finished tnodols In tho
shops, especially the Imported models,
are tremendously expensive, Tho
handsomest reticules are mado of
heavy, aoft satin, veiled with gold
lace or metallic net and ornamented
with the tiny ribbon flowers which
may 1k bought all ready to aply.
Simpler bag of satin, embroidered
with silk or chenille and braided with
gold or silver cord, are very effective
also, nnd nmst dainty theater bags
may lie made "f Dresden ribbon, lined
with soft, heavy satin in a delicate
pr.stel tint The largo reticule Is nl
wavs perfectly flat in shape and Is
usually in envelope stylo, with one
side buttoning over the other at tho
top. A thin strip of whalebone should
be inserted Inside tho lining across
the top of sii''h a reticule.
Quaint Effects In Pincushloni.
A charmingly quaint little pincush
lou and one that can easily be mado
by the girl who can handle a needle,
Is the Brownie cushion. Ilunt up one
of your long neglected friends, tho
ping pong ball, and with watcrcolors
paint a weird looking face upon It
Then take a piece of sateen the color
you wish to dress Hrownlo In and cut
It Ave Inches long by three inches
wide. Sew thU tightly at each end to
form ears that stand away from the
head and gather the rest up liehind to
make the little baldheaded cap. then
paint In a little fringe of hair to peep
TDK HAN'OINO OURIIION.
out underneath the cap. which will Im
prove the looks of Brownie.
A small, tight body Is made out of
a ball of raw cotton. This Is so cov
ered with sateen to match the cap and
sewed down fast In the back. Arms
and legs are made by covering wide
ribbon wire with pale pink satin rib
bon. These are attached to the cotton
body before the dross Is put on, and
they can ba bent Into any fnnny post
nre you wiab. It ta cunning to bare
Mr. Brownie look aa If he were aittlng
down In crossleg fashion like a tiny
tailor.
In his two hands he holds a bow
of narrow ribbon with a long loop at
tached. Thla serves to hang the little
fellow up with If you wish to have
him at the side of your dressing table.
No ono wants to stick cold steel Into
this dear little fellow, ao at bis back
you w faat a long narrow cushion In
which you may run all the pins and
needles you wish without marrlne the
quaint looks of your little friend.
The doll cushion Illustrated la a
charming trifle mado of ribbon and
cream satin touched up with water
colors. A Utility Square.
If you have a friend who Uvea In a
boarding house she will appreciate tho
gift of a utility square.
This Is simply a fifty-four Inch
square of china silk, cretonne, sllko
llne, linen or any soft material that
will take little room In a suitcase and
which is used to throw over a chair on
which underclothing has been put to
air when it Is necessary to open the
door to admit a bellboy, maid or any
stranger who may knock.
The edges of the square are either
finished with a plain hem, hemstitched
or fringed. Fringed edges are most
graceful. If plain material li chosen
a flower or some attractive convention
al design is embrolderod In each cor
ner. Manicure Set,
Women who manlcuro their own
nails will enjoy having one of the new
uaxicubh bbt.
manicure sets with the ntemlls en
ilosed In a generous sized buffer. The
manicure set pictured Is In this novel
form carried out In cellnleld politely
Vsown as ivory.
A PARSON'S
REMEDY
By M. QUAD
Copyrlcht, 1912, by Associated Lit
crnry Press.
The widow Goodhue had come easl
from Michigan and nettled In a Con
necticut village. She was a childless
woman of forty-five, and the villagers
liked her looks and gave her welcome.
For five or six weeks all went well,
and then the widow broke out.
A villager who had done some paint
ing for the widow called for his money.
She opened lire on him at once. After
tongue lashing him for live minutes
sho picked up a club nnd drove him
from the premises. She had a garden,
and she had given a neighbor permis
sion to cut tho grass for his cow. lie
won cutting :tvny when the woman de
scended upon him nnd gave him n cuff
on the ear and rushed him out of the
yard n much frightened man. The gro
cer happened to be passing, nnd ho
halted at the gate to see the fun. Mrs.
Goodhue walked out to him and said:
"See here, you baboon faced son of
a gun, you trot right on or I'll break
your knees."
Tho grocer stood with mouth open
and wondered if he had heard aright.
"Didn't I tell you to trot?' demanded
the widow ns she whirled him around
nnd administered nkick thnt raised his
heels six Inches from the ground.
Across the street n carpenter was
building n fence. As he hammered
away n shadow fell across his feet. At
tho same time a stick fell upon his
head.
"What! What's this?" he asked as
he whirled around.
"Too much darned noise!" replied the
woman.
"Why, lady, I have got to hammer In
tho nulls'."
"Then I've got to hammer yon with
this stick!"
And she sailed In and drove him from
his Job, nnd, like tho grass cutter nnd
the grocer, he went away to spread the
report that the Widow Goodhue had
gone plumb crazy. The facts in tho
matter later reached the ears of Er.
Beazler, the oldest practitioner In the
county nud an acknowledged nuthorlty
on mental diseases, and he made a call
to see how bad the case was. He
found the patient seated on the floor
in tho middle of the room, with her
hair down and a broken chnlr beside
her. At the first glance he decided tlijit
she was crazy.
"Well?" she asked nfter they had
stared at each other for half a mlniiJe.
"You are not feeling very well?" he
half queried.
"You are nn Infernal liar!" she
promptly replied.
Dr. Benzler smiled like the bloom on
n bull thistle and sat down. As he sat
down the widow Jumped up. He read
his peril in her eyes and made a bolt
for the door nnd got most of his body
outside before her foot hit the rest of
It That settled It The newcomer
was as crazy as a March, April or May
j hare. She must be restrained. The
j law must be appealed to. The village
was agog over the news, but it had
I something more coming to it Next
' day and before any steps had been
I taken the smiling nnd good natured
widow was asking the neighbor why
he didn't cut more grass for his cow.
She was at the grocery ordering a big
bill of oatables. She was bowing to
Dr. Beazler ncross the street, and she
repaid three or four social calls. Crazy?
Why, the person that said so must be
a born fool. She was Just lovely, she
was.
Five times In one year the widow
had those queer spells. Then the good
Deacon Watklns came from a distance
of nine miles to court her and win her
hand nnd carry her off to Medina. It
was all done in six weeks' time, and
none of the villagers posted the wooer
as to those strange spells, ne had
been a bridegroom for several weeks
and was still feeling mushy when one
of them came on nnd gave him the
surprise of his life, ne was cuffed
and kicked down cellar and upstairs
and out of the house, and for two days
he ate raw turnips and slept In the
barn. Then peace nnd love were re
stored and all went merrily. There
were four outbreaks before the deacon
began to think of divorce. Then he
went to his pastor to talk things over.
"Sho doesn't get hold of liquor?" ask
ed the parson.
"Not n drop; not even cider."
"Was there Insanity In her family?"
"Sho says not."
"Deacon, you run tho house, don't
j you?" asked tho parson.
"Y e s, kinder that is, I guess I do."
"Which means that your wife does."
"Urn!"
The parson reflected for five min
utes, nnd then for flvo moro he was
busy whispering Into the deacon's
right car. Then the deacon smiled
and nodded nnd went home. Tho next
day the parson went on his vacation,
and it was six weeks before they met
again.
"Welly nsked tho parson.
"She started in to have another."
"And you"
"Gave her tho gad licked her good
and stout."
"And she"
"Cuddled right down; said thnt was
what ailed her she wanted a strong
hand to boss her. She'll have no moro
spells."
"I'm glad to hear It."
"But, parson," asked tho deacon,
with n puzzled look on his face, "how
Hid you know tho remedy for such
rases?"
The parson didn't say. lie simply
looked at tho deacon and almost smil
ed nnd winked almost
GIFTS FOR THE KIDDIES.
Baby's Mother Will Be Pleated With
These Presents.
Tho doll Iw no longer considered a
mere plaything nnd Is generally mak
ing herself useful these days.
They are decorating workbags, con
cealing spools of Nllk or bolts of rib
bon In their full skirls; they are made
Into ten cozies, to place over teapots
that they may- retain their heat
The good natured Blllikens arc used
for pincushions, nnd, although they
suffer from the pin pricks, their smiles
grow all the hroador.
Some of the novelty shops nro dis
playing dnlnty dolls attired In quaint
costumes of 1810.
These dolls attend milady when she
dresses. Tho soft puff of the poke-
dolii riNcusmoN.
bonnet holds pins of all colors and
sizes, her reticule contains rings and
brooches, and her parasol holds hat
pins. Sometimes the small daughter's fa
vorite doll meets with an accident
which leaves nothing Intact but the
head. Make one of these attractive
dollies In the following manner:
Cut a cone shaped framework of
buckram or cardboard. This Is form
ed of a semicircle, with nn opening In
which to fit the doll's head.
Make a paper pattern first, so that
the size may be exact Fasten the
sides together and sew the doll Into
her stiff skirt. I
Sow lnmlnn trntrht nt Hin hnttnm '
of the frame, so that ehe may stand
firmly.
To attractively dress dolly, nse
scraps of silk, ribbon, lace or figured
dimity.
One lovely doll wore a frock of
cream silk dotted with pink roses.
The skirt should bo very full and the
bodice short waisted. Over this make
a tiny kerchief of white mull.
The tonnct should be pink silk and
the reticule of tho same material,
opening and closing with a drnwstrlng
of ribbon.
The parasol, also pink, should be
plaited silk attached to a crooked han
dle of wlro wound with ribbon.
A large muff may be substituted for
the parasol If desired.
This fascinating little maid Is n de
lightful addition to the dresser nnd at
tho same time performs a mission In
life. The attractive little cushion scon
In tho Illustration Is designed for uso
beside the baby's dressing table or
basket To make the cushion two
bisque dolls about five Inches long arc
necessary. The arms nre removed
from the dolls and the bodies stuffed
around with cotton wadding, then at
tired in suits of pale blue satin. About
tho necks are collars of lace, and pret
ty blue satin caps adorn the curly
blond heads. Pins are stuck Into the
cushions in nn artistic design, and
when loops of ribbon nro applied at
tho back of each doll to act as a sup
port the attractive trifle is ready to ko
packed In the Christmas box.
Dainty Wicker Wathstand.
Very convenient for the baby's moth
er to own will bo the stork basket
which 1b a graceful tall handled affair
fitted with requisites for baby's toilet
DABX'S WABUSTAND.
The dainty wicker washstaud Illustrat
ed Is a novelty thnt Is fludlng much
favor for Christmas presents. Thla
Btand Is fitted with decorated china
and embroidered linen towels and is i
Just tho right height for mother's con
venience as she gives baby Its morn
ing bath.
Gift For a Child.
A cute llttlo Christmas gift for a
child may be made from a small square
?f bright silk some such tiny plcco of
Uk nu almost any mother will find
among her ribbons.
Fill this with now pennies. Tho elzo
of the bag, of course, depends on
the number of pennies one wishes to
give.
The child's namo may also be writ
ten on the bag with pencil and em
broidered In a color contrasting with
the silk of the bag, though it will gre
Just as much pleasure without this ad-tltlon.
... . J5
i f j r J r$
Mit; - if.- '':.'.
yit - ' . . i '4 1 ! t
Tlio Kind Toti IIhyo Always
in uso for over 30 years,
mm
4WyT)2- Bonal supervision since its infancy.
&cA4ll Allow no ono to deceive you in this.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-as-pood" aro hut
Experiments that trlflo with and endanger tho health of
Infants nud uhildrcn Experience against Experiment
What is CAST
Castorla is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops nnd Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotio
substance. Its ago is its guarantee. It destroys "Worms
and allays Fcverishncss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething' Troubles, cures Constipation
nnd Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates tlio
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
GENUINE
CAS
Bears the
The Kind You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
thi ecNTtun eouMNV, tt murr bthkt. nrw YORK city.
ABSOLUTE
IB
s
avinos EsariK
HONESDALE, PA.,
1871 41 YEARS
BECAUSE we have been transacting a SUCCESSFUL
banking business CONTINUOUSLY since 1S71
and are prepared and qualified torenderVALU
ABLE SERVICE to our customers.
BECAUSE of our HONORABLE RECORD for FORTY
ONE years.
BECAUSE of SECURITY guaranteed by our LARGE
CAPITAL and SURPLUS of $550,000 00.
BECAUSE of our TOTAL ASSETS of $3,t 00,000.00.
BECAUSE GOOD MANAGEMENT has made us the
LEADING FINANCIAL INSTITUTION of
Wayne county.
BECAUSE of these reasons we confidently ask you to
become a depositor.
COURTEOUS treatment to all CUSTOMERS
whether their account is LARGE or SMALL.
INTEREST allowed from the FIRST of ANY
MONTH on Deposits made on or beforo tho
TENTH of the month.
OFFICERS :
W. It. nOLMES, PKESIIH3NT.
A. T. SHAHLE, Vlco-I'resldont.
DIRECTORS :
II. J. CONGER.
W. D. HOLMES,
C. J. SMITH.
II. S. SALMON.
T. B. CLARK.
E. W. OAMMELL
W. P. SUVDAM.
Advertise in THE CITIZEN
TRY A CENT-A-WORD
Bought, nnd which has boon
has uorno tho sifjnatnro of
has hcon mado under his per-
ALWAYS
Signature of
SECURITY,
OF SUCCESS 1912
II. S. SALMON, Casliler.
W. J. WAKD, Asst. Cashier
J. W. PARLEY.
P. P. KIMBLE.
A. T. SEARLE,
KRAFT & CONGER
0 iJ
HONESDALE, PA.
Reoresent Reliable
Cnmoanies ONLY
W 1 IT
I 1
nan r
LIJUA MM