PAGE 0 SUrriiKMKNT NO. 2; THE CITIZEN, PHIDAY, DEO. 8, 1011. be TLong and the Short of It E: By ROBERT DONNELL CoDvrUht. 1 91 1. by American Presa Association a Clans! HZR'N HIS'N Hello, 7t 'HIS is the long and the short of it (Isn't it really shocking?): Santa Claus knows HE wears short hose, While SHE wears a full length stocking. So when the day approaches Which once in a year is coming The sly old saint (it would make you faint !) Puts over this mental sum ming: "She MUST have presents in plenty; He CAN have very few. For every one knows he wean a hose That's scarcely as high as hei shoe." firecrackers at Christmas By ROBERTUS LOVE M 7 w 'HEN I was a boy and that was some time ago, kind and considerate reader I never popped firecrackers on the Fourth of July. I popped them on Christmas day. That was because 1 was a boy in n southern state only n few years after the close of the civil "Var. Still you don't understand 't Well, let me do a little explaining. I shall not venture to speak for thcr communities in the south, hut iu Jny neighborhood most of tho people still were somewhat bitter against Undo Sam for having come down there with armies for n four years' light. Tho folks iu and around my sereno and sequestered little village, lying on tho cedar clad hillsides of southeast Missouri, had known much of tho war from actual observation nnd experience. Armies, Federal and Confederate, had marched and counter marched through the village. A re markaUlo battle, that of Pilot Knob, was fought less than twenty uillea away. Missouri, let it be remembered, was loyal to the Union, but iu the southern part particularly tho senti ment was mostly in favor of tho "lost cause." We small boys did not know that the reason for tho iirecrackerless Fourth and tho flrecrackery Christmas lay iu the prejudices engendered by the war. AH we know or cared to know was that when Christmas came around It meant a few bunches of firecrackers nnd a lot of fun popping them out In tho snow, for in those days wo always had a white Christmas. After tho Iapso of thirty years I can recall with vivid distinctness a cer tain Christmas In my town which be gan with high anticipation of fun and camo very near ending in a tragedy. Our family doctor had threo boys who were favorito chums of my brother and myself. Somehow we always managed to get together on Christmas day aud pop the firecrackers which Santa Claus brought or which we bought with the paper quarter of a dollar allowed each of ua out of the family exchequer for that purpose. A quarter bought threo bunches of tho little red firecrackers. There were Ave boys, and you can computo the number of bunches we had. We all got up early on this Christmas mom lug, took tho candles and oranges and other things from our stockings, inspected tho "U. S. Mail" wagon left at tho fireside, pulled the trigger of the new toy pistol and then went down to old man Bean's store nnd spent our quarters to best advantage. Brother and I went over to tho doctor's house and joined his boys In the front yard. Tho snow was about ankle deep, CTlnkly under" tho foot, and tho air was crisp and clear. Tho eldest of the doctor's boys had been presented with a new derby hat for Christmas tho first derby that ever came to Iron dale. There I Just had to let the name of the town slip out Clalnle that was what we called the biggest boy was intensely proud of that new hat. He woro it at breakfast that morning, his brothers said. When wo all gathered In the yard to pop the crackers his derby was on the back of his head. Wo pooled our property by putting tho fifteen bunches of fire crackers In a heap on tho snow. Near at hand lay a piece of punk, burning slowly. Just to see if wo had a hatful of fire crackers Clalnle put his prized derby over tho heap. Some of tho crackers stuck out at one side. The littlest boy dead many years now picked off one oT the crackers, touched it to tho punk, and when it spluttered firo he dropped it. "The cracker went under one side of the hat That was tho point whero tho frolic became n tragedy. All of us were discussing tho prob lem of firing u whole bunch of crack ors at once when suddenly there was a ripping explosion which drew our atr tcntion to Clulnlo's derby. Tho hat was considerably divided against itself. One powdery pleco of it struck me on tho nose. The rim, a ragged rulu, flow over tho fence into tho street Tho rest of it disappeared at various places in tho snow. To paraphrase tho lino from the poem of tho boy who stood on tho burning deck, "Tho hat-oh, where was it?" Clalnle's Brief was twofold. Ho had lost his new hat, and all the firecrack ers had gone up In one big explosion. All of us were disconsolate. But the dear old doctor I think he is living yet and very old now took pity on us and gave each of us a dime wherewith to purchase n bunch apiece. Down there nowadays they pop fire crackers on the Fourth, but I dare say that some of tho boys of this genera tion still find a bunch of the llttlo red poppors In their sk-cklngs on Christ mas morning. "Hello! Hello: Is this Santa Claus? Well, .this is Marjorle Brown. Oo, 1 Just knew you'd 'member me. Awf ly nice of you to bring all those things last Christmas. What do I want this year? Ever and ever so many things. Four dolls with real wake up eyes, an' a set o' dishes, an a sled, an' one no, I want two, three story books, an'' games, an', oo. ever so much candy, an' an' " There, you old eavesdroppcrl Been listening, have you? Well, perhaps you have a right to, for it Just hap pens that In this case you aro Santa Claus. Get all tho order? This little girl trusts you to bring theso things. Then there are the boys and tho folks and your friends. Better go right out n?w and stock up while it is fresh 'on your mind and while tho goods in the stores nre fresh. Remember little Marjorle or Esther or Mary or Helen, as the case may be. Also remember to shop early, relieve the tired shop girl and get the best. Christmas 1st the Navy Christmas is a glad holiday aboard one of Uncle Sam's battleships. The Jacklcs deck the grim fighting ma chine in wreaths of overgreen and hol ly. Even the great guns wear chap lets. For one day In tho year tho em blcms of peace on earth hide the frowning front of war. Tho Christ mas dinner aboard one of theso float ing forts Is fully as glad as at a pri vate fireside. Tho sailors miss a few of tho chief delights of tho season, however. The prattle of children is lacking, as aro tho cheer of home und the smile of loved ones. But tho Jack tars can give and accept n few presents that is. they can If in port whero such things can be bought Do you know any of Uncle Sam's sailor boys? If so would It not bo u beautiful thing to REMEMBER THEM THIS CHRISTMAS ? Even a little thing would be appreciated. It would show them some one thought of them. SHOP EARLY, so that the gift can be sent In time. Indeed, for any gifts that are to be sent away shopping should be done early so that the pres' ents may not reach their destination two or three days late. BETTER BE BEFOREHAND, One gift early Is better than half a dozen late. Shop early and then you can bo sure of reaching your friends, be they sail ors or otherwise. ON THE DOT. That immeasurably enhances the value of Ihe fift wishes all of its patrons a "Merry Christ mas" and a "Happy New Year." It desires to thank you for your lib eral patronage, which has made it poss ible for its rapid and conservative growth. We desire particularly to call your attention to this bank's comparative statement of its deposits, which speaks for itself louder than words. June 1st, 1907 May 1st, 1908 May 1st, 1909 May 2nd, 1910 May 1st 1911 Nov. 6th, 1911 $ 24,398.54 $ 109,896.20 $ 161,077.58 $ 241,843.67 $ 272,500.68 $ 296,632.12 Safe Depobit Boxes for rent from Si 50 to $5.00 a year. Our bank is open Saturday afternoons for the accommodation of patrons. OFFICERS : M. E. SIMONS, President, J. E. TIFFANY, Vice-President, O. A. EMERY, Cashier. M. B. Allen, Georgo C. Abraham, J. Sam Brown, Oscar B. Bunnell, Win. H. Dunn, DIRECTORS : W. H. Fowler, W. B. Gulnnlp, John B. Krantz, Frod V. Kreltner, John Kuhbach, John Weaver, G. Vm. Sell, M. B. Simons, Fred Stephens, George W. TIsdoll, J. B. Tiffany. H Jh HhiiimlPr Win i Imh' liBUuJi T Christ oys and mas Goods Never before have we offered such bargains in BOOKS, TOYS, DOLLS and GAMES. Our China Counters are filled with 5 and 10c China. A Full Line of Havlin China Dinner Sets at A SET Dinner Sets sold in open stock. Step in and look around. It's a pleasure to show goods. F. Q. Terwilliger, Proprietor. 1 4-'