t)BHptrr rn-Wv- .-lYp-wjr jpygf
THE CIT1ZKN, FIUDAY, NOV. 10, 1011.
PAOK 7
Humor and
Philosophy
r nvncA.fi M. SMITH
THE LATEST.
TTEIGHOI
nut weren't wo a slow,
Poky race
When out on the chase
After pleasure
Once upon a time?
No longer do we care
For the county fair
With Its prize porkero,
Premium ducks
And the plethoric garden truck's
Soul stirring appeal.
The guaranteed patent meal
And, In short,
The whole array of that sort.
Those simple Joys
Are ours no more.
And, tell the truth,
They make us sore.
We have expanded,
Gone up, one might say.
For now we while the time away
With a spectacular and neat
Aviation meet.
No town Is too small
To hear tho call
The call of the skies
And to offer a grand prize
For the first one to fly
In Its own private sky.
And the aviator, haughty and proud.
Takes a look and thinks out loud,
And what does he say?
"Call that enough pay
For the chance of a broken neck
And the wreck
Of a J10.000 machine?"
lie doesn't want to be mean,
But If they'll double the prize
lie files,
And If not
There's a. lot
Of towns that will.
And they double It or he passes them
by.
The man bird comes high,
But wo muHt have him.
Extreme View.
I "They are engaged."
"Are they?"
"That is what la said."
"I didn't suppose lie was rich enough
ask a girl to marry him."
"He isn't."
"Then how does it happen? Has
lie girl money?"
"Oh, no. Hut they are both so poor
iat they don't know anything about
honey."
Natural Infer
ence. "I want you to
meet my friend
Mrs. Fetching."
"A widow?"
"Yes, of the
grass variety."
"Why do you
particularly want
me to meet her?"
"Why, you are
a vegetarian, you
know."
Provided For. .
"You don't seem worried about the
lesults."
"I am not."
"Don't you think there is any doubt
kbout the outcome?"
"Plenty of doubt."
"You don't seem to have taken any
precautions."
"Oh, I'm married. My wife will
lake precautions and do all the wor
fylng." Tho Angler.
"He is a record breaker."
"That lazy fellow?"
"Yes."
"At fishing?"
"Naw."
"What record does he break?"
"Ananias'."
Mixed Fruit.
"His daughter Is the apple of his
eye."
"I can hardly understand that."
"Why not?"
"Any one can see that she la a
peach."
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
If we had to take the advice we give
probably there would be a great re
vision in the matter handed out.
Be suspicious of the man who sees
verything as you see It It may be
bat he is getting close enough to make
touch.
The milk of human kindness should
yield a rich cream of goodfellowsblp.
People who havo castles in the air
I may soon bo called upon to pay an air
tax.
Many a gown fits tho wife a great
Ideal more satisfactorily than the bill
llor It fits her husband.
I .Lucre may uu quite a ainerence to a
man between having a draft In his
pocket and a draft on his pocket.
A tall man Is often short after mar-
Irioge.
The man who doesn't Invest money
I In his own enterprises may have more
charity for himself than faith In his
business,.
One reanon why some people change
btheir minds readily is undoubtedly be
cause It is bo little trouble.
Trouble Is a tiresome thing, trot some
odIo seem greatly to enjoy taking It
THE LAYETTE.
Baby's First Wardrobe Should Be
Very Carefully Chocen. ',
It is almost impossible for n yotlhg
mother to choose wisely when selecting
her first baby's layette. She is told of
so inpny things she must have that she,
finds iiftenvurO that she rarely uses,'
and there- are so many more she lira to
add later thnt no one thought (o men
tion. "So If this delightful task over fulls
to me again," said n young mother re
cently, "I shall spend less on lace edg
ings and cobweb Insertions and set
lslde the amount saved for extra laun
dry work. To keep a baby dainty and
sweet requires an almost Incredible
amount of washing and ironing. If the
young mother attempts It she will have
little time left for her baby, herself,
her husband or her home.
"In addition to counting on plentiful
laundering, I shall make the little gar
ments simpler nnd put my surplus time
into preparing more of them. A half
dozen each of muslin slips, petticoats
and flannel underskirts, six dozen dia
pers, one-half dozen each of cashmere
stockings, shirts nnd abdominal bands,
four bath wrappers and 'nightingales'
and one full dozen nightgowns are
necessary, but no more. The latter
need as frequent changing as the dta
pers, and yet very few people provide
more than three or four. This gives
no opportunity for more than a hur
ried rinsing, whereas this garment
needs careful sterilizing and nlring
more than any other. .
"I would buy tho shaped diapers
rather than tho straight goods. Though
more expensive, they wear splendidly
and fit Infinitely better. I would ex
pend nothing on costly bath sponges,
which soon becomo so filthy (despite
tho best care) that they are a menace
to baby's tender skin. Instead I would
hem all the old linen and damask
squares I could find into wash cloths
of different sizes for tho face, cars, nos
trils, eyes and body, those for the eyes
being kept carefully apart. These
cloths should bo boiled for twenty min
utes in a soda or boric solution nnd
then sealed up until needed, and they
should be frequently discarded. It is
well also to keep some very soft bits
of linen to clean the baby's mouth with,
using each piece only once. "Thrush"
and other infnntllo throat diseases lurk
in dirty washcloths.
"Lastly, I would not save tho baby's
'best' clothes with the Idea of econo
mizing, for tho dear little mites grow
at an unconscionable rate, and many a
real lace bonnet nnd filmy slip have
been labored over to bo worn only two
or three times."
For the Needlewoman.
In the dressmaking world handwor);
is the height of modlshness, nnd the
frock that boasts n quantity of this
stltchery is extremely exclusive and
proportionately expensive. But It Is
possible for the home needlewoman to
turn out exquisite trimmings for her
frocks at small cost. The Illustration
shows an up to date design for the
front of n waist carried out in embroid
ery, which is further elaborated with
colored bends to represent jewels.
Tho work is done on very coarse
white brussels net with white embrold-
JEWELED WAIST DECORATION.
cry silk. Tho ground is given a da
mascened effect by darning in some
what irregularly four strands of the
silk, taking two holes of the net hori
zontally in the opposite direction, as
shown in the cut. The large ornaments
are also embroidered in the silk, taking
a full strand. The longest stitch cov
ers eight holes of tho net below the
center of tho flower and eight above it,
and thirteen graduated stitches are
worked below the center and thirteen
above it. The beads are used for filling
in the centers of the flowers.
The Fly.
"Where on earth do those flies come
from?" is a frequent and despairing
question.
How do flies get into the house?
They may come down tho chimneys,
if tho fireplaces have tipping dam
pers. These should be tightly closed
in flytlmo. An appreciable falling off
In their number will be tho result.
If the chimneys have not the tipping
damper, a screen such as is used for
a window can be fltted into the flro
place, or, easier still, a bundle of paper
may bo stuffed up the chimney.
Either method Is successful, and no
trouble is too great to get rid of these
pests.
Making the Work Easy.
It is a splendid plan to keep a meas
uring spoon in coffee nnd tea canisters,
and also in soda nnd baking powder
cans. This will be found a great sav
ing in time in the kitchen work, for
when one has only a single measuring
spoon it is likely to get misplaced, and
It has an annoying habit of getting
misplaced completely just when it Is
badly needed.
Watch the Kitchen Gink.
The sink in the average household
is the most malignant of all household
conveniences, needs more attention
than any other appointment of the
kitchen and, owing to the fact that it
is usually made of iron, which does
not Bhow the dirt, it generally receive
For the Children
When Ted Comes
the Fun Begins.
Oh, Isn't It lively at our house
When our young cousin Ted spends tin
dayl
He can think of more things In a minute
Than would take us a whole week tc
play.
Tho last tlmo he came It was barber.
And he used all of daddy's best soap.
You ought to have seen the piazza.
It'll never be wetter, I hope.
And then-when he goes It's still lively.
We wonder how we ever could date!
And we wouldn't so much mind what fo!
lows
If our cousin would stay for his thare.
Youth's Companion.
Carloads of Crawlers.
There were five full carloads of a
queer kind of freight that recently left
the far western states for the east.
The carloads were of wriggling, writh
ing, cold and clammy snakes, and
most of them were poisonous. They
had been collected in different parts
of California, New Mexico and Ari
zona and In northwestern Mexico, and
there were 1,700 of them altogether.
There were twenty-four different kinds
of snakes in the five carloads, and they
were of all sorts and different lengths.
If they had been stretched out in a
line they would hnve measured all of
three miles, and three miles of snakes
is no small matter. The shipments
were made to different zoos in the
eastern cities and to Europe, where
the small children that speak queer
languages will call them by names
that would sound funny to the beys
nnd girls of this country. Chicago
News.
A Puzzle Game.
Here is a pencil nnd paper game for
tho puzzle loving. It can be played
by any number. Starting with one
given word, tho test is to change It
into another given word by changing
only one letter at a time, and the win
ner is he who arrives most quickly
at the result and by tho shortest proc
ess. For instance, suppose tho word
"dog" is given to be changed into
"cat." The best method would be
dot, cot, cat. Of course longer words
are more difficult, but usually patience
will bring success. For instance, the
word "fast" may be changed into
"slow" by tho following steps: Fast,
last, lost, loot, soot, slot, slow. Per
haps there is a shorter way that n
little study will discover. If the party
is large it is more fun to play tho
game with groups of two as partners.
The Giraffe.
Giraffes have been known in Paris
since a comparatively recent date
only. The earliest specimens came
there during the reign of Louis XVI.
From a Frenchman of about that
time, an explorer named Lcvalllant,
who had traveled among the Kaffirs
and Hottentots, these animals with
the long necks were first heard of In
France. Nobody believed hjs etory,
and he was laughed at untljKomo liv
ing specimens arrived in tlM French
capital and he established his credit
for truthfulness.
Little Helpers.
Do you know what the children who
do things to help ono another are
called? They are called "llttlo step
savers," and n great blessing they nre
to many a tired mother. For their
own growth it is necessary for chil
dren to run and walk n great deal.
By saving steps for mother they are
helping themselves to grow and doing
n great kindness to mother at tho
same time.
Conundrums,
When la a gentleman's shirt like tho
heavens at night? When bespangled
with stars.
What would contain all the snuff In
the world? No one nose (knows).
Why does n gentleman look first on
ono Bide and then another when walk'
Ing down the street? Because ho can't
look on both sides at the same time.
What small animals are always seen
at social functions? White kids.
Correct Pronunciation.
The correct pronunciation of the
English language nnd all foreign
words lu common use is becoming p
subject of interest and Importance to
thoso persons who can appreciate the
great advantage of possessing tho
ability to speak correctly. To render
conversation most delightful to a cul
tivated ear tho pronunciation of every
word must be correct
Gams of Crambo.
Each writes ono or two nouns on one
Blip and a question on another, or both
may bp written on one. All are shuf
fled and drawn. An answer to the
question must be written in verso,
bringing in the nouns,
Married Women's Names..
In England and In the United States
a woman loses her Identity In mar
rlage. lu Belgium and Spain the hus
band adds tho name of his wife to
his own. In the United Suites women
sometimes retain the family name, as
Mrs. Harriet (Ueeeheri Stowe. In tho
Channel islands the woman never
loses her maiden nntne. In Spain the
children write the names of both
parents, as Llareua y Mouteverde. in
"Don Quixote" Is the following:
Casajo was my father's nanu'. nnd 1,
for being the wife of Sanuho Panza.
am called Teresa Panza, but by good
rif.ht they ought to call me Teresa
Caajo." In Scotland both names are
preserved, and the vroman Is always
known by her maiden name. In Wales
it is the custom to describe the woman
by her maiden name. The fact that
a woman on becoming the wife of a
tunn loses her identity is npparent
in many portions of the Bible, when
under the ancient custom man, on
taking a wife, declared that she be
came "flesh of my flesh and blood of
my blood," thereby establishing the
old time saying that man and wife ar
one. Richmond Times-Dispatch.
Tyranny of tho Tip.
There have nlways been those who
havo revolted against the tyranny of
tho tip. So long ago as October, 1705,
we find that ubiquitous personage,
"Constant Reader," venting his griev
ances in the columns of the London
Times. "If a man who has a horse
puts up nt an inn," he complains, "be
sides the usual bill he must at least
give Is. to tho waiter, Gd. to tho cham
bermaid, Cd. to the hostler and Cd, to
the jackboot, making together 2s. Cd.
At breakfast you must give at least Cd.
between the waiter and hostler. If
tho traveler only puts up to have a
refreshment, besides paying for his
horses' standing he must give 3d. to the
hostler; at dinner Cd. to the waiter and
3d. to the hostler; at tea Gdv between
them; so that he gives away in tho day
2s. Cd., which, added to tho 2s. Cd.
for the ulght. makes Gs. per day on an
average to tho servants." They did
tho thing pretty thoroughly in those
days.
A Millionaire.
Tho term "millionaire" is of inter
national use, but it does not mean the
same thing in the mouths of different
nations. To every one it means tho
possession of n million, but not neces
sarily a million dollars. In Great
Britain a millionaire has a million
pounds, or nearly $5,000,000, while
in Frnnce they count francs, so
that there a millionaire is a compara
tively poor individual with but $200,
000 to bless himself with. Million
aires aro quite common in Prussia,
but a million marks don't mean
much these days, amounting to a trifle
of $250,000 in our money. For mil
lionaires of real class it Is necessary
to go back to old Babylon. Tho Baby
lonian millionaire had 1,000,000 talents
and would not be regarded as a poor
man even by a AVall street office boy.
A talent was about $2,000, and a mil
lion of them would be $2,000,000,000.
A Triple Play.
It was at tho end of the ninth in
ning. Yet. though tho homo team
was two runs to the good, things
looked black for them.
Tho visitors were at bat. There
were no outs, and three men were on
bases; also Terrible Terry Tomkins
was up, and Terry's batting average
readied the clouds.
Terry bunched his shoulders and
waited confidently, and a groan went
up from tho bleachers.
The ball flew In three pieces, and the
pieces flew in three directions. One
was caught by tho pitcher, ono was
pulled out of the air by the shortstop,
and one landed in the first baseman's
mitt. A triple play! Tho game was
the homo team's.
Tho bleachers went wild. Philadel
phia Times.
Breaking It Gently.
"I have called, sir, to soo the photo
of the lady with $25,000 who wants a
husband."
"Can you keep your face straight?"
"Of course I can."
"Very well. We'll break you In first
with the $5,000 applicants, and then
gradually, as you grow stronger, we
will work you up to the big prize.
This way, please, and don't get fright
ened." Exchange.
Dinner Among the Romans.
The Romans in tho time of Cicero
and Augustus took an early breakfast,
from 3 to 4 in the morning; a luncheon
at 12 or 1, and at about 3 o'clock the
coena, or principal meal of the day,
corresponding with our dinner. Con
currently we read of some not dining
until sunset.
Early Morning Talks.
Ho Is always doing something that
causes a lot of talk."
"Why, I never heard any of it"
"Ho is the only ono who hears it
Ho is nlways staying out at night later
than his wife wishes him to." Hous
ton Post.
A Scheme.
Youthful Inquirer Father, what is a
scheme? Perplexed Parent I can't ex
actly define it, my boy, but it is some
thing which will fall through quicker
than anything else on earth.
Coming.
First Graduate I hear that you've
got a job on the road. Second Ditto
Yes; it hasn't reached me yet. Ex
change. Happiness in this world, when It
ronies, romes Incidentally. Haw
thorne. " A '
Good and Dad.
! A remarkably brief, effective sum
) mlng up was once quoted by Lord
i James in nn after dinner speech. It
was delivered by nn Irish Judge trying
n man for pig stealing. The evidence
of his guilt was conclusive, but the
prisoner Insisted on calling n number
of witnesses, who testified most em
phatically to his general good character.
After hearing their evidence and the
counsel's speeches tho 1udge remarked.
"Gentlemen of the jury, I think that
the only conclusion you can nrrlvo at is
that the pig was stolen bv the prisoner
and that be Is the most amlablo man
in the county." London Chronicle.
Haeo Docet.
Old Aesop oft Oh. sad mistake!
When badgered for a story.
Would tell a tale of blood and make
Ilia allegory gory,
Chicago Trlbuna
A GREAT DISCOVERY.
Certain Ingredients That Really Pro
mote Hair Growth When Prop
erly Combined.
Resorcin Is ono of the most effective
germ destroyers ever discovered by
science, and in connection with Beta
Napthol, which is both germicidal and
antiseptic, a combination is formed
which destroys tho germs which rob
the hair of lb natural nourishment,
and nlso creates a clean, healthy condi
tion of the scalp, which prevents the
development of new germs.
Pllocarpin, although not a coloring
matter or dye, is a well-known ingre
dient for restoring tho hair to its nat
ural color, when the loss of hair hi'u
been caused by a disease of the scalp.
These ingredients in proper combina
tion, with alcohol added as a stimulant
an'l for it!) well-defined nourishing
properties, perfect perhaps the most cf
fe. tive-remedy that is known for scalp
and hair troubles.
Wo have u remedy which is chiefly
composed of these Ingredients, In com
bination vclth other extremely inval
uable medicinal agents. We guarantee
it to positively cure dandruff nnd to
grow hair, even though the scalp in
spots is bare of hair. If there is any
vitality left In the roots, it will positive
ly cure baldness, or we will refund
your money. If tho scalp has a glazed
shiny appearance, it's an indication
that baldness is permanent, but in oth
er instances we believe baldness is cur
able. We want every one troubled with
scalp disease or loss of hair to try
Roxnll "93" Hair Tonic. If it does not
cure dandruff and grow hair to the sat
isfaction af the user, we will without
question or quibble return every cent
paid us for it We print this guarantee
on every bottle. It has effected a p"fi
five cure in 93 of cases where put t
a practical test
liexall "03" Hair Tonic Is entirely
unlike, nnd we think, in every particu
lnr, better than anything else wo know
of for the purpose for which i'
is prescribed. We urgo you to try
this preparation at our entire risk
Certainly we know of no better
guarantee to give you. Remem
ber, you can obtain Rexall Remedlo--only
nt our store The Rexall Store.
A. M. LEINE
To the Farmers of Wayne Co.-
We Desire to Have You Patronize the
FARMERS &
MECHANICS
BANK
75
PF CGntn ' ne stockholders of
this Bankre Farmers
Open An Account in the Progressive Bank
Capital Stock $75,000.00
Surplus and Profits $17,000.00
Comparative Growth of Deposits:
June 1st 1907,
May 1st 1908,
May 1st 1909,
May 2nd 1910,
May 1st 1911,
Officers:
M. E. SIMONS, President C. A. EMERY, Cashier
Directors:
M. B. Allen,
George C. Abraham,
J. Sam Brown,
Oscar B. Bunnell,
Wm. H. Dunn,
W. M. Fowler,
W. B. Guinnip,
John E. Krantz,
Fred W. Kreltner,
John Kuhbach,
John Weaver.
D. & H. CO. TlflE TABLE
A.M.
P.M.
A.M,
A.M.
P.M.
HUN
BUN
8 30
10 00
10 00
4 30
6 05
Albany ....
. ninsbamton .
10 00
A.M
10 00
2 15
12 30
2 15
2 15
. Philadelphia .
8 15
4 05,
7 10
4 40
6 30
12 30
1 19
7 10
7 65
.Wllkes-Barre.
....Scranton....
o 00,
P.M.
A.M,
P.M.
P.M.
A.M,
5 40
6 SO
6 W
6 20
6 30
2 05
2 15
2 19
2 37
2 43
2 52
2 67
2 69
3 03
3 07
3 10
3 15
8 45
8 55
8 69
9 18
Carbondale ....
...Lincoln Avenue..
White
Farvlew......
Canaan
.... LakeLodore ...
Wayraart
,, Keene
Steene
Prompton
Fortenla
Scelyville
Uoneadale ....
6 34
6 11
6 62
6 68
7 07
7 13
7 16
7 20
6 17
U 24
6 26
0 32
B 82
B 37
8 35
939
9 43
9 47
9 60
6
6
7 24
H4
7 27
6 CO
7 31
9 65
P.M. A.M.
P.M.
P.M,
A.M,
Ar
TN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS
1 OF WAYNE COUNTY.
Lillian M. Connors v. Geo, A. Connors.
No. 40 Jnn. Term, 1011. Libel in Divoreo
To GKOROK A CONNOttS: Von are here
by required to appear In the said Court on
tho third Monday In January next, to ans
wer the complnlnt exhibited to the Judse of
said court by Lillian M. Connors, your wlte.
In tho causo above stated, or In default tlifi ro
ot a decree of divorce os prayed for In said
complaint may he made neninstyou In your
absence. M. LlilC 11HAMAN, Shcr'H.
Scarlb A Salmon, Attorneys.
Honcsdnlc. Oct. . 1911. B3w4
0
RP1IANS' COURT SALE.
By virtue of an order of Orphans'
Court of Wayne county, made tha
14th day of October, 1911, I will soil
at public auction, to the highest bid
der, on the premises at Equinunk,
Wayne county, Pennsylvania, on
FIUDAY, NOV. 10, 1011, 2 P. SI.,
the real estate belonging to tho es
tate of Reuben W. Redmond, late of
the Township of Buckingham, coun
ty of Wayne and State of Pennsyl
vania. All the following described piece
or parcel of land situated, lying and
being In tho township of Bucking
ham, county of Wayne and Common
wealth of Pennsylvania, bounded and
described as follows, to wit: Bo
ginning at an iron pin in tho center
of tho road leading up and down
Equinunk creek opposite a maple a
corner of land now occupied by John
L. Snyder; thence north sixty-three
and one-half degrees west fifty per
ches to a heap of stones; thence
north twenty-six and one-half de
grees east, thirty-four and soven
tenths perches to a, heap of stones;
thence south sixty degrees and fifty
five minutes east sixty-five and two
tenths perches to an iron pin in the
center of the said road; thence south
forty-two degrees west twenty-six
perches to a post; thence south thir
ty and one-half degrees west four
perches to a post a corner of said
Snyder's land; thence along tho lino
of the same south forty-one and one
half degrees west four perches to a
post corner another corner of said
Snyder's land; thence along the line
of the same eight perches to the
place of beginning. Containing
fourteen acres and four perches of
land, bo the same more or less.
Bearings drawn to county meridian
surveyed 3rd of April, 1894. Re
serving, however, to Fred R. Hol
bert, his heirs and assigns a right
of way ncross the said land from the
public highway aforesaid at or near
the White school house to other
lands of the said Fred R. Holbert as
the same is now used. See Deed
Book No. C2, page 130. The above
bounded premises was conveyed to
H. Kate Sheldon by Fred R. Hol
bert and Minnie E. Holbert his wife
by deed dated the 12th day of July
A. D. 1894.
Reserving to the use of Delamah
Redmond, widow of Reuben W. Red
mond, tho use of four small rooms
in tho dwelling house during the re
mainder of her life.
Upon the said premises is a framo
dwelling house, barn and other out
buildings.
Terms of Sale, cash. Purchaser to
pay three dollars for deed as in
Sheriff's sale.
John Tompkins, Executor.
M. E. Simons, Attorney.
C Have The Citizen sent to
your address. Only $1.50 per
year.
$24,398.54
3109,896.20
8161,077.58
8241,843.67
$272,500.68
G. Wm. Sell,
M. E. Simons,
Fred Stephens,
George W. Tlsdell,
J. E. Tiffany,
HONESDALE BRANCH
P.M.
P.M.
A.M.I..
P. M.
A.M,
SUN,
SUN
2 00
12 40
10 60
8 45
10 so
oo
4 09
714
738
P.M.
7 25
630
7 14
7 3S
P.M.
10 03
9 12
A.M
9 35
8 45
2 65
2 13
12 65
12 05
Ar
A.M
P.M.
P.M.
P.M.
P.M.
8 05
185
125
5 60
6 40
634
6 18
S 11
566
11 25
8 27
8 17
8 13
1 64
7 47
7 39
7 32
7 30
7 28
7 22
7 19
7 15
7 51
11 14
7 60
7 33
7 25
7 17
7 12
709
7 05
1 21
11 10
10 63
11 45
10 37
10 32
10 29
10 25
1 03
12 66
12 49
12 43
12 40
12 36
12 32
12 29
12 25
4 68
4 65
4 61
7 01
4 47
4 44
10 21
6 68
6 65
10 18
10 IN
4 40
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