PAQI2 0
THE CITIZEN, FRIDAY, OOTOBEIt 13, 1011.
NEW TALES
THAT ARE TOLD
Penmanship In Congress.
"I'll bet yon a dinner for ten people,"
aid KoprcHontatlve Frank Clark of
Tlorida one day last spring, according
to the Popular Magazine, "that the
worst penman In congress Is Sparkman
ot my state."
"I'll take that bet," replied Hard
wick of Georgia. "The man who writes
the worst hand In tlio world Is Adam
son of my delegation."
Sparkman Is chairman of the com
mittee on rivers and harbor, and Adam
son Is the hcud of the committee on
Interstate and foreign commerce. The
two congressmen who bad made the
bet selected a committee to pass on
tho handwriting In question and then
IN A FEW DATS HE RETURNED MT LET
TER," secured letters written by Sparkman
and Adamson In their own penman
ship. Those letters were something
horrible to see. and the judges de
cided that tho writing of both was so
bad that the writers, not the men who
had made tho bet, must pay for the
dinner.
Whllo tho banquet was In progress
Adamson told this story:
"Last winter a constituent of mine
wrote to me and asked for a specimen
of my handwriting, explaining that ho
had heard It was tho worst in the world
and that he was making a study of
bad penmanship. I complied with the
request. In a few days he returned
my letter to mo, with this note:
"'Fine! Am enthusiastic. Don't
know such handwriting was possible.
Pleaso send me a typewritten copy of
the Inclosed. I need n key to It.' "
A HARD KNOCK
FOR UNDERWOOD.
Congressman Hears From a
Farmer Constituent.
Representative Underwood, chair
man of the ways and means commit
tee in congress, represents what 13
known as a "manufacturing district,"
becauso it contains all tho factories
and smelters in and about Birming
ham, Ala. But he also has among his
constituents a lot of farmers, of which
fact be Is now painfully aware.
Ho drove out to a settlement In Bibb
county one afternoon to persuade tho
farmers they ought to vote for him.
As ho stepped up to the porch of a
little store an old man rushed up to
him with the request:
"Please sign this paper. It's a peti
tion to Congressman Underwood to
have a young lady postmistress here."
"I'd be glad to sign it," said Under
wood politely, "but as I'm not a resi
dent of this community my name
wouldn't help you."
"Oh, yes, it would." the old farmer
assured him. "We're getting every
body to sign It, strangers and all. Go
ahead and put your name down. That
'fool congressman will never know the
difference!" New York Tribune.
Plgi and Art.
"Which would you rather have,"
nsked Rose Stahi, "a pig or a picture?"
As every one was too much surprised
to answer, sho went on: "An artist
friend whose pictures are worth
many thousands per was out on a
sketching trip, and he stopped to make
a Btudy of a barn. The farmer hap
pened to appear and said he'd like to
havo the sketch.
" 'Ef 'tain't too dear,' ho added cau
tiously. "'Oh!' said tho artist, who makes
$12,000 a year, 'I won't charge you
anything for the sketch, but' His
eyes lighted on the pigpen. 'But I'll
tell you what.' he sold Jestingly. Toil
can give me one of those nice, little,
pink, suckling pigs there.
" 'Why. man,' said tho farmer, with
a frown, 'do you know what them pigs
la worth? They're worth $1 apiece."
Tounc's Mnirnzlnn.
Milady's
JWSrvov
To Keep Straight Hair In Curl.
On damp tluj-jt tliu girl whose hull- Ik
curly by reason of tho hot Iron rather
tlinu the permanent hand of obliging
nnture is In grave danger of losing nil
the effect of bygone (lufllness. tier
friends, accustomed as they ure to see
ing her faco framed in waves, are ai
a loss to explain the straggly appt'.-tr-anco
of her crowning glory.
Hot Irons sooner or later are fatal
to tho hair. No matter how careful
one may be in applying them, the dny
will come when tho temperature will
be forgotten because of haste or for
getfulness, and a dead, lusterloss
strand of' hair will mar tho beauty
of the entire mass. In the days of
cumbersome curl papers there was
some excuse for the use of hot irons,
but In these time of up to date and
convenient devices for curling tho hair
curling irons should have no place on
tho dressing table, being left entirely
to the professional hairdressers.
A few harmless preparations for
keeping the hair in curl nre given:
For dark hair dissolve twelve grains
of carbonate of potash in half a pint
of rather strong black teu. Molsteu
tho hnir with this mixture before put
ting It up in curlers.
For blond hair a mixture of one
ounce of borax, one dram of gum
arable and eight ounces of hot water
is best. Dissolve the borax and gum
arable In the hot water and bottle for
use. Use the same as tho preparation
for dark hair.
Hints For Insomnia.
First of all it is necessary to He cor
rectly in bed. Do not curl up, but
place the limbs straight, so as to in
duce the best circulation. Lie on the
right side. If you are on your back
you Invite dreams, if on the stomach
you press the lungs and if on the left
side you cramp the heart and digestive
organs. Insomnia often coiuch from
hunger. If you have been long with
out eating tako a glass of milk and a
biscuit or many times a glass of wa
ter will be sufficient A hot drink be
fore retiring Is conducive to sleep, and
the greatest necessity of all is to have
warm feet As for the mental part of
It. the idea is to make tho brain run In
as monotonous a strain as possible.
and that is why tho old plan of count
Ing imaginary sheep jumping over n
stile Is usually successful. As the
brain becomes fagged the sheep go
more and more languidly, and sloop
soon follows. One of tho best plan
for going to sleep Is to make up one'
mind to be reconciled to stayinj.
awake. If you lie quietly and think
out some plan for the next day or say
to yourself you will Just lie quietly till
sleep overtakes you you will And your
self "dropping off" almost before you
know It. It is all nonsense to say.
"Oh, I should go mad If I were to He
awake for a long time." It is merely
that wo have grown Into tho habit of
thinking that when we go to bed we
must sleep, but most of us sleep as
well as eat more than we need, and if
wo regard the fact of being snugly
tucked In bed as sufficiently restful
the horror of lying awake will pass. If
too much notice of Insomnia Is not
taken It will usually cure Itself.
A Stretching Exercise.
It imparts elasticity.
And it is good for one.
It will lift tho. vital organs.
It gives strength and poise to tho
body.
The clothing must be looso and com
fortable. To begin any exercise one must
stand erect
The chest should be high, the bead
up and the chin In.
The body should rest on the balls of
tho feet, not on the heels.
At first It mag be enough to breathe
deeply and slowly (mouth closed)
standing thus.
This alone Is a tine thing If prac
ticed in tho open air or before a win
dow open top and bottom for Ave or
ten minutes twice a day.
Now for the stretching. Sweep the
arms slowly outward and upward un
til they touch above tho head, lifting
the chest walls and stretching the
arms.
Lower the arms with tho same
sweep, stretching them nil tho time.
Five times will be enough at first,
breathing deeply and slowly all the
time.
New. Powder Puff.
Novelty counters have lately exhibit
ed one charming bit of silverware that,
while it fascinates tho beholder, in
spires at the samo time tho question.
"What can It be good for?" This ex
quisite frivolity Is termed "a body
puff." In a largo silver bowl for pow
der la an equally largo puff, to which
Is attached a long sliver handle, rather
like tho handle of a carriage parasol.
Its length Is Its strong point, or, one
might say. Its long suit, since it en
ables the user to reach shoulder and
heel with equal ease, but the appear
ance of this useful handle as it pro
jeets from the side of the Bllver bowl
is somewhat surprising. This novelty
is found in tho empire pattern, a fine
tracery of linos forming a background
that suggests brocade, with square
decorations superimposed on tho lines.
At present tho prices run up to $50.
but there is little doubt that long ban
died powder puffs will prove so con
venient that they will soon bo repro
duced In less costly style.
IN THE BEAU
FASHION
Fall Millinery.
Two of the smartest fall models
have been sketched here. Tho one is
a round hat in pansy purple fur felt
Bet oft by n flaring bow of striped rib-
TWO FETCHING NEW 1IATS.
bon. The other hat is of putty colored
felt, trimmed with coral pink velvet
ribbon. The very high crown and
pulled down brim ,aro characteristics
of the new millinery.
HANDKERCHIEFS
OF LAWN AND LACE
Designs With Hand Worked Mon
ogram Are Preferred.
Occasionally round handkerchiefs are
to bo met with, but these are apt to
have the appearance of dollies, and
tho old fashioned squaro shapo will be
found the best The scrap of muslin
or lawn trimmed with lace or embroid
ery today finds a place In the ward
robe of every well dressed woman. To
make a handkerchief very One linen
may bo used, and lawn and even
muslin are pressed Into the service.
The size will naturally depend upon
the owner's individual taste, but a
square measuring from six to ten
Inches across will usually bo found
quite sufficient.
For a small handkerchief It will be
found best to make the hem quite nar
row, half a dozen threads drawn an
inch and a quarter from tho edge,
which is then turned in and hem
stitched, being about the most suitable.
The hem being thus disposed of, the
question which next arises Is that of
prnamentation.
Drawn thread work is always pretty
and appropriate and may take the form
of a narrow insertion running all
round, a half or a quarter of an Inch
Inside tho hem, or. better still, a square
or more or less triangular piece of
work In one or each corner. The
threads for this should bo drawn In
squares, and there are Innumerable
charming and quite simple patterns
which may be found in nny book on
drawn thread work and which are sin
gularly adaptable to this purpose.
For those who do not care about
drawn thread work there is embroid
ery, which may tako many forms a
design more or less elaborate, accord
ing to the capabilities of tho worker.
running all round the edge, a design,
conventional or otherwise. In each cor
ner or a name, monogram or Initial
worked In one corner, either plain or
surrounded by a spray of flowers or
some other lilSasement. Tho embroid
ery must, of course, be exceedingly fine,
having consideration for tho thinness
of the material.
The Airy Cap.
Plenty of picturesque Louis XVI. or
mob caps of silk or velvet with ruch-
ings, or, rather, plaitlngs of tulle, lace
or point d'esprlt around tho faco are
to bo seen In Paris, some with quaint
garlands or tiny silken roses forming
chaplet between crown and brim if
the plaitlngs forming flounces may bo
so called. Others have a soft satin
ribbon twisted round tho lower por
tion of the mob and a big windmill
bow upon the side, whllo others, again,
show a simple full blown rose nestling
amid the soft ruchings of tuilo le bon
net de Miml Pinson Immortalized by
irrpci ao Musuet.
r
points
for
The Onion Cure.
"Do my kiddles smell like little onion
patches?" asked one young matron of
another, and on being told in a very
positive manner sho said, "Well. then.
I'll shoo them away, but I'll tell you
why they are thus perfumed, and you
can profit by, the knowledge If you are
so minded.
"Three years ago my youngsters
were the overage town bred children,
nervous wakeful at night and on the
go the livelong dny. The country didn't
help them, and when we went back to
town they grow bo much worse thai I
finally called In a child specialist, who
asked all sorts of profound questions,
arranged all their lessons and play
with a view to their Improvement and
prescribed various tonics. Next spring
he said, 'Go to the mountains.' and we
did, but it didn't agree with the chil
dren, and they longed for the sen. so
after a little we changed to a quaint
little seaside village. There tlie.v
were happy, but were n sad contrast
to the native children, who had the
most wonderful health and vitnlltv
and seemed not to have a nerve in
their bodies. But hero one day we
found a remedy for all our ills quite
by accident. We went for a picnic in
tho motor, which promptly broke
down and forced us to And shelter
from the sun in the nearest farmhouse.
Nine children came and gazed at n
and then fled, but not before I noticed
how well and sturdy they looked. I
asked who their doctor was. 'Doctor
nothing,' was the mother's answer
'One of my young ones was puny 11!;
yours, and I Just gave him all th
onions he wanted with dry crusts of
bread between meals.'
"From that day I started an onion
diet In my family, not quite as It was
prescribed, but the children have
onions once a day anyway, and I give
them lots of buttermilk besides. I cat
them myself, too, but not when com
pany is coming, although I do not see
why a natural odor like that should be
so cried down and out of society when
the stale, unhealthy one of cocktiils Is
considered permissible. When I am
apprehensive of a restless night 1 take
n gluss of very hot milk Just before
I go to bed and an hour before that
a little salad of onions grated on crisp
lettuce, with French dressing, in which
Is chopped hard boiled egg. You have
no idea how delicious this tastes with
very thin bread and butter. I do not
care who is hero 'when I feel I must
order this repast, and I havo made
many converts and cures by telling
both these tales of onion power that
I am telling you."
Children's Parties.
A young mother who always mukes
It her business to arrange delightful
parties for her girls and boys Includes
In her plans many schemes that othsr
mothers may like to copy.
"Now that we are settled in home
for the autumn," says this hostess of
Juvenility, "I mean to give a children's
open air party. Last year I asked the
little ones to come each as a flower,
and we had a flower parade. To a
second party I told them to bring
their dolls, and we had a doll parade.
This year I am going to change all
that and shall invite the children to
come In their ordinary clothes in or
der that they may have a good romp.
"After tea 1 shall start the new
game of maze, which Is played In tho
following manner:
"Number some strong cards from
one to twelve and tack them about
Ave feet high on to trees rather far
apart and trees so placed, too, that
tho runner must go back and forth
and roundabout In order to And the
cards consecutively according to num
ber.
"Now, supposing the runner finds
No. 1. Then If while seeking out for
No. 2 he finds 4 or 0, well, that num
ber won't count. Ho must find No.
2, then No. 3 until he completes the
circuit to obtain the prize. It adds to
tho fun if besides tho real prize you
have a booby prize. Anyhow tho
game creates any amount of laughter.
You see tho players running up
against one another, all eager to find
a consecutive number. The one who
completes the circuit first is the prize
winner."
Talking It Over With the Boy.
Experiences of others In bringing up
their boys havo bo greatly aided mo
In bringing up my own that perhaps
a way which helped mo through a try
ing period with one of my sons may,
in its turn, bo of use, said a mother
recently.
Although for years I had tried to
Instill good manners as well as morals,
thero came a time when one of the
boys seemed to forget everything I hud
been at such pains to teach. He posi
tively ignored rights to others and
developed little tricks of manner
which, while not serious, wcro exceed
ingly annoying.
It Is a delicato matter to keep call'
Ing attention to fallings In a big boy
of sixteen, and I found our good fel
lowship was becoming seriously strain
ed. A simple plan suggested Itself. I
gave up all faultfinding except on one
day pf tbe month. On that day we
had a good talk and got over It.
This cleared tbe atmosphere, sullen-
ncss disappearing. I did not feci duty
neglected, yet could stop what had be
come nagging, and the ono serious talk
proved far more effectual than con
stant protests.
Tolstoy and the Bear.
When Count Tolstoy was a young
man be took part in a bear hunt that
nearly ended fatally. When tho beast
charged blm Tolstoy fired and missed,
lie fired a second shot, which hit tho
bear's jaw and lodged between his
teeth. Tolstoy was knocked down, fall
ing with his face In the snow. "There,"
he thought; "all Is over with mo." Ho
drew his head as far as possible be
tween his shoulders, exposing' chiefly
his thick fur cap to the beast's mouth
till sho was able to tear with her upper
teeth only the chcok under the left eyo
and with the lower teeth the skin of
tho left part of the forehead. At thl3
moment the famous bear hunt leader,
Ostashkof. ran up with n small switch
In his hands and cried out bis usual
"Where ore you getting to? Where are
you getting to?" This, says Tolstoy,
sent tho bear scuttling off at her ut
most speed.
The Real Old Article.
Tho stranger In Boston was inter
ested in tho old family names of that
city. lie bore a strong letter of in
troduction to a prominent townsman.
"I can give you from memory the
names of all tho old families of our
city," the prominent townsman said,
and bo rattled off two or three dozens
at an amazing rate.
The stranger looked up from, his
copy pad expectantly.
"Is that all?" he asked.
"I have given you a complete list of
Boston's leading families," the proml
uent townsman replied. "Not one of
them dates bac-'s than six genera
tions.'" The stranger stared.
"But surely you have other old fam
ilies of note In Boston?"
"Merely transients," Icily replied the
Boston man. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Its Kind.
Willie dreamed he did fishing go,
But sorrow did he sip,
For his father's shape before did loom
In a bout that had a big spanker boom
And was bound on a whaling trip.
Baltimore American.
Pils! Files! Piles!
Wllllums' Indian Pile Ointment will euro
Blind, Bleeding and Itching Plies. It ab
sorbs the tumors, allays itching at once,
acts as a poultice, gives Instant relief.
Williams' Indian Pile Ointment is pre
pared for Plies and Itching of the private
parts. Druggists, mall 50c and $1.00.
WILLIAMS MFG. CO. Props., Cleveland, Ohlc
fOR SALE BS
CS. C. JAB WIN.
W. C. SPRY
AUCTIONEER
HOLDS SALES ANYWHERE
IN STATE.
ALCOHOL 3 PER newp
AVegetableRieparaltonrorAs
slmllating titefbodaiKlRegula
ting Uic StomarJis aMBowus of
Proiuofcs DigesttonJCkerfuli
ncssananesaoniainsneitiw
Opium-Morphine norMincraLi
Not Narcotic.
Isnpkci Setdm
jUxSaua
JMtSbllt-
liana Seed -
CtarfiedStar
Vbttpnatlwr.
Aperfect Remedy for CtmsHpa-i
non.soursroraaaiiiJiarnoKi
Worms ,Cmwuisions,remi$lr
ncssandLoss of Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
mm I II hi' 1 J 11
Guaranteed, under the tools
Exact. Copy of Wrapper.
FOR
RESULTS
JOSEPH N. WELC
warn m
Fire
Til a AT TVECr Til-,. T
Agency in Wayne County.
Office: Second floor Masonic Build
ing, over O. O. Jadwin's drug store
xiuneuuie.
M. LEE BRAMAN
EVERYTHING IN LIVERY
Buss for Every Train and
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Horses always for sale
Dn.lt t I A 1 M i
uuuiuiug unu Acuuinuuuiions
for Farmers
Prompt and polite attention
at all times.
AliliEN HOUSE BARN
t:n:::r:s:::::z:z::::uu:::r.:
MARTIN CAUFIELD
Designer and Man-
ufacturer of J
ARTISTIC
MEMORIALS
Office and Works
1036 MAIN ST.
HONESDALE, PA.
I For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
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GASTORIA
THE OSNTAUH OOMPANT HtW YORK OfTY
KRAFT & CONGER
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Represent Reliable
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For
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ADVERTISE IN THE CITIZEN