VAGI, (I
TIIE CITIZEN, FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 1011.
F
arm and
Garden
GOOD LAWN BEAUTIFIER.
Its Foundation Is Only an Old Umbrel
la Frame, but It's Most Artistic.
Ono does not need the services of 'an
expensive landscape gardener to make
ono's lawn n thing of beauty. Of
course, thick, well rolled and well
cropped turf Is the prime necessity,
but there Is always needed some bit
of color to accentuate the eye resting
beauty of the long sweep of green.
Here Is the way ono Ingenious wom
an secured a centerpiece for her sward,
according to Popular Mechanics:
She dug up an old umbrella from the
attic, cut away the faded silk cover-
SIMPLE OBNAMLNT FOR LAWN.
ing, ran a piece of thin wire through
the top of each rib, taking a turn
around each eye, so as to keep tho
ribs apart at regular Intervals, and
then sunk tho handle deep Into the
ground In a small circle cut out of tho
sod in the middle of the lawn.
Then sho planted somo sweet peas in
a variety of colors, and now sho has a
Joseph's coat mound of color that is
an absolute delight. And, obeying the
old adage, "the moro sweet peas you
pick tho more you'll have," she has
her vases all through the house filled
all tho time.
THE VALUABLE TURNIP.
Worth Growing if Only For Its Effect
on Dairy Cows.
While the real food value of turnips
Is considered somewhat low, they are
wonderful appetizers, especially for
dairy cows, not only toning up their
systems, but Increasing the flow of
milk.
Then there are several tempting
dishes for tho table that can be formed
from turnips, and by storing a goodly
supply of them for winter their use
will save considerable of the higher
priced products, both around the feed
stalls and table.
Turnips for winter storage should
not bo sown till in July, from the 10th
to the 20th, or even a few days late?
.will not be too late. Where they are
sown earlier than this the hot weather
causes them to become strong and
pithy, but if sown as above stated
they mature when tho weather is cool
er, which greatly enhances their flavor,
gives them a firm, solid flesh and adds
to their keeping qualities.
A rich, sandy loam or fresh sod
eoil is best adapted to turnip raising
and they may be sown either broad
cast or drilled. If sown broadcast It
may bo done Just before a shower, and
there will then be no necessity for
covering tho seed, as the raindrops
will do the work better, a light cover
ing being all that is required. If the
seeds aro drilled one can arrange so
the plants may be cultivated by band,
the rows being placed about eighteen
Inches apart. Put in plenty of seed
at tho time of drilling and thin out tho
plants when they come up till they
are from three to four inches apart,
thus giving them ample room to grow,
Homestead.
Rape Seed For Hogs.
If a little rape seed is sprinkled in
with tho rye a variety of feed will be
provided and the hogs will do even
better than upon rye alone.
Brief Suggestions.
Go over tho orchard and seo that all
the wounds nro well painted.
The golden wax bean is a favorite
with many garden makers. It is
tender, of good quality and strlngless,
If a small pig is chilled it can be re
vived by dipping it in water as hot as
you can bear your hand in, then wrap
ping it in warm flannel.
Don't keep your horeo in an over
heated stable and then stand blm for
hours in a freezing atmosphero and
wonder bow ho became paralyzed.
, The durability of tho mule is
strong point in his favor. He lives and
works to a good old age. His "sense'
of self protection is strong, and he
avoids many injuries.
Never get the Idea in your head that
drugs and health are inseparable, for
in most cases it will bo found that
what wo keep out of the pig's stom
ach has moro to do with its health
than what we pot in.
Blackberries are very prolific and
ripen at tho tlrno they can bo econom
lcally gathered and marketed. They
nro seldom injured by lata frosts and
for this reason aro surer than some
other berries that ripen earlier.
The wheel hoes aro great labor
savers. A plow attachment is very
convenient for opening furrows and to
cover the larger seeds, as peas, beans
and sweet corn. Somo of the com
bination wheel tools with drills, cultt
voting teeth, plows and rakes aro very
DMOROCS QUIPS i
She Giggled.
' l,wcnt out to walk with Miss Nellie one
i day,
j And as wo two strolled tli:ou;;li !.
parK
1 noticed she seemed nulla comeM.cl anO
say
More happy by far than a larl:. '
And whenever I made n remarS: i rn
plain,
Sho would always u giggle oulpour;
And then when 1 asked her to kindly ex
plain Sho giggled then giggled somo more.
Then In tho evening wo went to the play,
And though 'twas a tragedy deep
Shu did not the slightest emotion display,
But giggled while others would woep.
Sho glcgled a bit when the hero wua
killed,
And as tho brldo camo through tho door
To marry tho villain whoso conduct hart
thrilled,
j Sho glggled-then giggled some more.
So I asked the young lady to tell me just
I why
Her system contained so much mirth
I And how sho could glgglo when others
would cry
j And when happiness seeme1 at a dearth.
I So sho said her new hat had the latest
I shaped frame,
Tha only ono like It In store,
j And that no other lady could get the
same.
I Then sho glggled-and giggled some
more.
John L. Hobble In Puck.
Obliging.
There's a pretty cashier lady in a
certain Boston restaurant. The other
flay a fresh stranger approached this
cashier and asked, "Are the waiters
bere attentive to you?"
Sir!" she squealed, and her liquid
eyes flashed fire.
"I asked, are the waiters In this
place attentive to you?" ho calmly re
peated. "Are you hard of hearing?"
Then the haughty beauty shouted for
the manager, who camo on tho rvn.
This pup has Insulted me!" she sob
bed. "Is it any of his dern business
whether the waiters is attentive to a
perfect lady or not? I'd like to know
If just because I'm a poor working
girl a fresh guy can"
"Now, calm yourself," said tho
stranger, unabashed. "I am merely
being polite and complying with a ro-
juest printed on your bill of fare.
Here It is; read It for yourself."
The line at the top of tho menu card
read as follows: "Guests will oblige
the management by reporting any in
attention on the part of the waiters
o the cashier." Boston Traveler.
Wherein Willio Was Favored.
Dorothy, Delia and Daisy, three
youngsters of a New Jersey town,
were discoursing about the baby
brothers who had taken up their resi
dence in the throe families during the
past year.
My little brother Tom's got a lovely
jllver mug that grandfather just sent
him," said Dorothy. "It's a leauty,
and he had a sliver knife and fork
from grandma too."
My little brother Harry's got a bee-
vutlful carved rattle that Uncle Dick
sent him from Japan," said Delia.
It's the prettiest rattle that ever was."
"My little brother Willio 's not so big
as your brothers," said Daisy, with nn
air of endeavoring to conceal a feeling
of triumph, "but the doctor says he's
had moro spasms than any other baby
at this whole neighborhood, so there!"
-Lippincott's.
Perfectly Simple.
No npologles go with this. It is the
Invention of former Mayor Baxter of
Baltimore, and he most tako all re
sponsibility for it.
Why," asks Mr. Baxter, "is the
Prince of Wales like a baldbeadod
man, a monkey nnd an orphan?"
Well, there isn't any answer to a
question like that, of course. Where
upon Mr. Baxter answers it himself
with every indication of enjoyment
"The Prince of Wales," bo eluci
dates, "is the heir apparent A bald
headed man has no hair apparent, tbe
monkey has a hairy parent, and the
orphan has nowTsero a parent"
Comment would bo superfluous.
Herbert Corey in Cincinnati Tlmos
Star. Run Short.
Old Friend How is your wife, Cap
tain Plowjogger?
Tho Captain (who has recently bur
led his fourth) Wa'al, to tell the
trewth, I'm kinder out of -wives Just
sow. Boston Transcript.
An Up to Date G'rrl.
"I ashed her to marry me, and she
cave roe a supreme court anewor."
"Wbirt kind of an answer is that?"
"Sakl she would glvo me six months
lo readjust myself so ns to bo acoepta-ble."-Puck.
Explained.
"How is it that you are back at the
offioe? I thought, you said you wanted
a day off to enjoy yourself."
"So I did, but my wife wants some
ribbons matched." Baltimore Ameri
can. Look Before You Leap.
Agitated Old Gent Quick; my
laughter is overboard! Save bor, and
tho shall bo your wife!
Blaso Person Wait till a wwo rolls
her over and I can seo her fac. Puck.
Figuratively Only.
"Pa," said little Willie, "whet is tho
meaning of 'figure of speech?
That, my son, is the very latest
oamo for a man's better half." .Tudpe.
Heat and Cold.
He I could love you until the sun,
grows cold. And you 7 ,
She I could love you until my hus
band gets hot Puck.
Farm and
GROW 0WNTABLE DAINTIES.
Every Farm, No Matter What Its Size,
Should Have a Kitchen Garden.
Perhaps the most characteristic fea
ture of our northern and eastern farms
Is the homo vegetable garden, says
W. It. Bcattic. assistant horticulturist,
bureau of plant Industry. Even where
no orchard has been planted, and
where tho ornamental surroundings oi
the homo have been neglected, a fairly
well kept 'garden in which aro grown
a number of the staple kinds of vege
tables Is generally to bo found. In
many cases tho principal Interest in
tho garden is manifested by tho wo
men of the household and much of the
necessary care is given by them. A
small portion of the garden inclosurc
is generally devoted to tho cultivation
of flowers, and a number of' medicinal
plants are Invariably present.
Throughout the newer parts of the
country one finds that tho conditions
governing the maintenance and uso of
the vegetable garden nro somewhat
different, and, while a number of vege
table crops may be grown somewhere
on tho farm, there is wanting that dls
tlnctlon so characteristic of tho typical
New England kitchen garden.
It would bo impossible to mako an
accurate estimate of tho value of crops
grown in the kitchen gardens of the
United States, but from careful ob
servation tho statement can safely be
made that a well kept garden will
yield a return ten to flteen times
greater than would the same area and
location if devoted to general farm
crops. A half acre devoted to the
various kinds of garden crops will
easily supply a family with $100 worth
of vegetables during tho year, while
tho average return for farm crops Is
considerably less than one-tenth of
this amount. A bountiful supply of
vegetables close at hand where they
may be secured nt a few moments'
notice is of even more importance
than the mere money value.
Fresh vegetables from the homo
garden are not subjected to exposuro
on the markets or In transportation
and aro not liable to become infected
in any way. Many of the products of
tho garden lose their characteristic
flavor when not used within a few
hours after gathering. By means of
tho homo garden tho production of tho
vegetable supply for tho family is
directly under control, and in many
cases is the only way whereby clean,
fresh produce may be secured.
The home1 vegetable garden is wor
thy of increased attention, and a
greater number and variety of crops
should be included in the garden.
Tho question of proximity to the
house or other buildings Is of great im
portance when locating a garden. In
old homesteads tho garden was gen
erally located directly adjacent to the
house, requiring but a few steps from
the kitchen to reach the extreme parts
or me garaen. mu wurn ua curing iui
a garden is usually done at sparo
times, and for this reason alone the
location should bo near the dwelling.
In ense the site chosen for the garden
should become unsuitable for any
cause, it is not a difficult matter to
change the location. Many persons
prefer to plan the garden in a different
location every five or six years.
Guinea Pigs as Lawn Mowers.
In America the humblo guinea pig is
used largely to advance tho cause of
science by succumbing to different
germs, by refusing to weaken after
generations of intenso inbreeding, nnd
by generally' "tending to prove" what
ever the scientists want to prove. But
over in England tho guinea pig is be
ing used as a lawn mower with great
effect Ho is moro than a mere ma
chine at that, for we aro assured that
he not only clips tho lawn evenly, but
with rare discrimination removes all
the weeds therefrom. Guinea pigs mul
tiply very rapidly and almost any one
can get enough to keep his lawn
mowed if he starts early in tho spring,
Wo thought the American farmer who
tied his lawn mower to an automobile
and skited around over his lawn had
solved tho problem, but the English
mowing system has certain points of
superiority which increase our respect
for British ingenuity. National Stock'
man and Farmer.
A Certain Cure.
"Do you know anything that "will
kill potato bugs?" asked the younsr
man with the yellow Angers.
"Yes," said the old lady with the
gingham nnron crustily: "get 'em to
smoke cigarettes."
M-M-I-I-H-l-r
MANURE MEANS DOLLARS.
Manure is worth dollars. Why
not save those dollars? Manure
adds humus as well as plant
food to the soil, and one is as
valuable a the other. The soil
may contain all the elements of
plant food, but If tt has no hu
mus these elements are not
available and plants do not
, thrive. Humus aids In retain-
Ino moisture for the future' use
1 of the plant. Now is the time to
! save money by saving manure,
and manure Is best saved by bo
; Ing spread upon the field where
, it will do the most good, imme-
1 cfiate value In crops as well as
! ultimate value In the farm re-
- suits from the use of the manure
' spreader.
HUMOROUS QUIP
Elegy Written In a Country Road.
The curfew tolls the knell of parting
day.
Tho lowing herds wind slowly o'er the
lea.
Tho plowman homeward rides, and on th
way
He Bayly toots his auto horn at me.
Chicago Record-Herald.
The boast of limousine and much horse
power And all that engine and magneto spell
Await alike the Inevitable hour
The paths of speeding lead you to the
cell.
New York Mall.
Here lies his head upon the lap of earth,
A youth to fortune and to fame un
known. Tho auto hit him for all It was worth
And then sped on and left him there
alone.
Houston Post.
Haply some hoary headed swain may say:
"I seen him when he passed and no
ticed how
Ho seemed to want to hurry on his way.
I got his number, but ferglt It now."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Old Dobbin notes the autos whizzing by.
But not one jealous pang they bring to
him,
For, though the smell of gasoline Is nigh.
Ho takes to munching grass again with
vim.
Spokane Spokesman-Review.
On the. Defensive.
A distinguished novelist recently
found himself traveling in a train with
two very talkative women. Having
recognized him from his published por
traits, they opened fire upon him in
regard to his novels, praising them in
a manner which was unendurable to
tbe sensitive author.
Presently the train entered a tunnel,
nnd in the darkness the novelist raised
the back of his band to his lips and
kissed it soundly. When tho light re
turned he found tho two women re
garding ono another in icy silence.
Addressing them with great suavity,
he said, "Ah, ladles, the one regret
of my life will bo that I shall never
know which of you it was that kissed
me!" Ideas.
Accurate.
The baby was a week old when it
was taken to the corner grocery to be
weighed. Most of the women folk of
two blocks were present to witness
the momentous ceremony.
A warmed blanket was placed on
the scale and the baby laid tenderly
upon it. The grocer, benevolently im
portant, carefully maneuvered tho
hanging weight upon the notched bar
until the scales balanced.
"Eleven pounds," announced tho
grocer, beaming.
"That means nine," piped up his
young assistant, who was a rapid cal
culator. Buffalo Express.
Would Be Reported as It Was.
"Officer," demanded tho horrified
lady on beholding a curious mob fol
lowing up a pretty girl, "If you don't
arrest that woman in that disgraceful
harem skirt I'll report you at head
quarters!" "Becorrv. Oi'll be reported 88 it is."
( repUed the gaping officer, abruptly
. turning bock. "Br following with th'
crowd Oi've strayed Ave blocks away
from mo beat Widow.
A Good Reason.
Mother (angrily) Willio, you posi
tlvely must get over this habit of
wanting something to eat in the night
tfrne. I never do.
Willie Well, I don't think I'd care
to eat anything in tho night either if
I kept my teeth in a glass of water.
Boston Transcript.
Youth's Wisdom.
Tho Good Man Do you know wherofl
little boys go who throw stones at
birds?
The Bad Boy Katner! They goes
whero thero is birds. Didn't think
they went down in a well, did yer?
Philadelphia Bulletin.
A Dialect.
"I never use slang," said the pre
cise young woman.
"Yes," replied tho self satisfied girl
"I noticed as soon as I heard you honk
that your conversational model was
ono of those highbrow dialects."
Washington Star.
Why Patrick Henry Said It.
A schoolboy's composition on Pat
rick Henry contained the following
gem: "Patrick was not a very bright
boy. He had blue eyes and light hair.
He got married nnd then said, 'Give
mo liberty or glvo mo death.' "Phil
adelphia Record.
An Illustration.
"Tho sweet and sour are strangely
mingled In life."
I "Yes, indeed. Take a bad crowd, for
example, whero you'ro in a pickle be
cause you're in a Jam." Baltimore
American.
The Great Service.
Dad Waller Ho never did anythln
fer nobody.
Pop Weeks You're mistaken. His
folks wanted him to take lessons on
tho cornet nnd he refused. Chicago
News.
A Ready Instance.
Cholly On what do you base your
argument that women are more clever
than men?
Maud Well, let's take ourselves, for
example. Cornel! Widow.
A Day Off.
Sunday School Teacher Is your pa
a Christian, Bobby?
Utile Bobby No'm, not today. He's
got the toothache. Browning's Maga
rine.
A Joke That Failed.
The clerl: of a supply store In
southern Colorado did not know In
Jinn nature very well when ho invited
n Ute chief to n boxing bout After
explaining the uso of tho gloves, which
the chief seemed to readily under
stand, they went Into a vacant room
In tho roar of tho store to spar. The
gloves were adjusted, and the clerk
Invited tho chief to hit him. Tills, of
course, ho failed to do, as Indians nev
er strike with their hands In conflict
All nt once tho clerk struck out and.
catching the thief under tho ear, land
ed him on the floor. This was enough.
The Indian sprang to his feet, pulled
Off tho gloves, jerked out n knife, nnd
the clerk had to run for his life. For
tunately he managed to keep out of
reach until some friends caught the
infuriated Indian and held him until
he cooled off. Then tbe clerk explain
ed the Joke, but with very poor suc
cess. The chief consented to forego
vengeance for tho insult but he was
never friends with tho clerk again.
St Louis Globe-Democrat
Ornamented WKh Scars.
The natives of somo of tho islands
of tho Pacific nre always glad to see
the doctor on his periodical visits. At
Kaiser Wllhelm's harbor the German
government has stationed Dr. Helse
gnng as medical officer. Ho Is a busy
man. Natives by tho dozen come to
him, not to bo treated for illness, hut
to get tho benefit of his professional
opinion on how to scar themselves ar
tistically. The natives aro very fond
of scars, and nearly all of them are
covered with specimens which have
resulted from self inflicted wounds
which were kept open by frequent
scratching or by the Introduction of
foreign substances like sand, bamboo,
shells and so forth. The excrescence
which results from tho'nverage vacci
nation Is scratched off at tho proper
time, and the resulting large scar is
very dear to tho native. A young
islander whose face and body are a
mass of cuts, bruises and scars is con
sidered the catch of the season by the
dusky belles.
Ho Won.
Refou you l:lsa me. Horace, let mn
tell you that Fred has given Kitty a
diamond ring, you have never given
mo one."
"Dearest, It Is only girls who are not
precious in themselves who require tho
aid of precious stones."
'Oh, you may kiss mo twice, Hor
ace."
W. C. SPRY
AUCTIONEER
HOIiDS SALES ANYWHERE
IN STATE.
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S3m : facsimile Signature of ;
El abtftz
r.o r
R EIS U LIT S
JOSEPH N. WELCH
Fire
The OLDEST Fire Insurance
Agency in Wayne County.
Office: Second floor Masonic Build
ing, over (J. 0. Jadwin's drug store,
Honsdale.
M. LEE BRa
EVERYTHING IN LIVERY
Buss
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Horses always for sale
Boarding and Accomodations
for Farmers
Prompt and polite attention
at all times.
ALLEN HOUSE BARN
UUttUTitUUtUUtitlttUtUtUtUtUUtttUtt
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ufacturer of
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MEMORIALS
Office and Works
1036 MAIN ST.
HONESDALE, PA.
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Use
Over
Thirty Years
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HONESDALE, PA.
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ADVERTISE IN THE CITIZEN,
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i r,t !. i, t, t i t .t 1..T t.Ufc.M.i.J.i..i-u