THE CITIZEN, FRIDAY MAY 12, 1011.
AMUSEMENTS.
Ilapiiy Homo Better 'I'liim Art.
Helen Bertram had Just left tho
stage. The applause for her songs
had been vociferous and was still
ringing through the corridors hack
of the stage when she entered her
dressing room. It was the time of
all times to llnd an actress in tho
humor to talk.
"But let's don't talk about art,"
she said. "I get so weary of twad
dle about art and the stage. Let's
talk about doughnuts. I could talk
from now till midnight about
doughnuts, or cookies."
"What's the trouble between you
and tho stage and art?"
"Oh, none, none In the world.
Till f T Hlfo fnrtrn. nmv nnil fliori
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I'm a woman and 1 llko to think
like ono and talk like one. That's
why I want to drop thoughts of art
and the stage and talk about
sho will never havo to undergo any
of the battles with life I have had.
My dream Is to see her by tho side
of a man sho loves and who loves
her, with two or threo Httlo kiddles
playing on the floor. Doughnuts!
Doughnuts and cooklesl If ever
sho has to work, I hope It Is on the
stage, where tho remuneration Is bo
liberal; but my dream for her is
home.
"You know that little song, "I.ove
Mo nnd the World is Mine."
It's true. And what hnvo been
tho victories of art compared to
those of doughnuts? Doughnuts tho
overwhelming winner!
The only way to boss a man Is
through love. Give him doughnuts,
not art.
MADAME HELEN ItERTItAM.
doughnuts not doughnuts literally,
but doughnuts figuratively dough
uts as the emblem of love and a
kappy home; for home, after all, is
the place for woman If she would
be a success in life. I wish I could
say it like Dr. Parkhurst or some
other preacher and I'd tell you how
I believe woman's greatest achieve
ment and greatest happiness Is in
motherhood and home.
"Why, what's art to this?" And
she placed her hand on tho head
of her pretty little girl. "That ap
plause is mine to-day. To-morrow
it goes to somebody else. Nature
gave my voice to me. Next week
she may take it away. But this Is
mine mine forever," and sho put
her arm around her girl. "God gave
ler to me for my own. I may lose
her for a minute, then she is mine
.for eternity.
"Why am I working?" For her,
Jiot for fun. I am working so that
ICvtracls From "Homo O.vnline," My
Elbert llubbaril.
He wno Imagines that modern ad
vertising Is the exploitation of the
public Is a bicuspldatl dlplidocus, and
would do well to come out of his
comatose state and currycomb his
convulsions.
Advertising Is the education of
the public as to who you are, where
you are, and what you have to offer
in way of skill, talent or commodity.
Life, now. Is human service. To
deceive is to beckon for the Com
missioner In Bankruptcy.
Nothing goes but truth. We
know' this because for over two
thousand years we have been trying
everything else.
Academic education Is the act of
memorizing things read In' books,
and things told by college profes
sors who got their education mostly
by memorizing things read in books
and told by oollego professors.
It is easier to be taught than to at
tain. it is easier to accept than to investi
gate. It is easier to follow than to lead
usually.
Yet we are all heir to peculiar,
unique and individual talents, and a
few men are not content to follow.
These havo usually been killed,
and suddenly. Now, our cry is,
"Make room for individuality!"
"Truth," says Dr. Charles V,
Eliot, Is tho new virtue.
Let tho truth be known about your
business.
The only man who should not ad
vertise is the one "who has nothing
to offer in way of service, or one
who can not make good.
All such should seek the friendly
shelter of oblivion, where dwell those
who, shrouded In Stygian shades,
foregather gloom, and are out of the
game.
Not to advertise is to be nominat
ed for membership in tho Down-nnd-Out
Club.
The Adscripts and the Adcrafts are
opposition societies to the Mummy
Trust, symboled by tho Philadelphia
Club that hoary, hoarson, senile
and babbling bunch of oarnacles
who, 'having lost their capacity to
sin, alternately blab of a Goodyear
virtue and boast of the days that are
gone. About the best wo can say
of tho days that aro gone, Is that
they aro gone.
The Adscripts and tho Adcrafts
look to tho East. They worship the
rising sun. Tho oleo of authority
does not much Interest them. They
want the Kosmlc Kerosene that sup-,
plies the caloric.
A good Adcraftscrlpter Is never
either a phllophras,ter nor a theolo
gaster he Is n pragmatlst. Ho
seeks tho good for himself, for his
clients, nnd for the whole human
race. The science of advertising Is .
the science of psychology. And psy
chology is tho splence of the human
heart.
The ndvortlser works to supply a
human want; and often ho has to
arouse the desire for his goods. He
educates tho public as to what It
needs, and what It wants, and shows
where and how to get It.
Tho fact that you have all tho busi
ness you can well manage Is no ex
cuse now for not advertising.
To stand still is to retreat. To
worship tho god Terminus is to havo
the Goths and Vandals that skirt the
borders of every successful venture,
pick up your Termlnli and carry
them inland, long miles, between the
setting of tho sun and his rising.
To hold the old customers you must
get out after tho new.
When you think you aro big
enough, there Is lime In the bones of
the boss, and a noise like a buc
caneer is heard in tho oiling.
The reputation that endures, or
the institution that lasts, is the one
that is properly advortised.
Tho only names lu Greek History
that we know are those which Hero
dotus and Thucydldes graved with
deathless styll.
The men of Home who live and
tread the boardwalk are those Plu
tarch took up and writ their names
large on human hearts. All that
Plutarch knew of Greek heroes was
what he read In Herodotus.
All that Shakespeare know of Clas
sic Greece and Rome, and the heroes
of that far-off time. Is what he dug
out of Plutarch's Lives. And about
all that most people now know of
Greece and Rome they got from
Shakespeare. Plutarch boomed his
Roman friends .and matched each
favorite with some Greek, written of
by Herodotus. Plutarch wrote of
the men ho liked, some of whom we
know put up good mazuma to cover
expenses.
But of all the Plenipotentiaries of
Publicity, Aaibassadors of Advertis
ing, and Bosses of Press Bureaus,
none equals Moses, who lived fifteen
centuries heforo Christ. Moses ap
pointed himself ad-writer for Deity,
and gave us an account of creation,
from personal Interviews. And al
though some say these Interviews
were faked, this account has been
accepted for thirty-five centuries.
Moses wrote tho first five books of
the Bible, -and tills account includes
a record of the author's romantic
birth and of his serene and dignified
death. Moses is the central figure,
after Yahwetfi, In tho whole write-up.
Egyptian history makes not a sin
gle mention of Moses or of tho Exo
dus, and no record Is found of the
flight from Egypt save what MoBes
wrote.
At best, It was only a few hundred
people who hiked, but tho account
makes tho whole thing seem colos
Bal and magnificent. And best of
all, t'he high standard set has been
nn inspiration to millions to live up
to tho dope.
The phrase, "The Chosen People
of God," was a catch-phrase unrival
ed. Slogans abound in Moses that
have been taken up by millions on
millions.
When Moses took over tho, Judaic
account, Jehovah was only a tutelary
or tribal god. Ho was simply one
of ninny. Ho 'had at least forty
strong competitors. Tho Egyptians
had various gods; the Mldianites,
HIttltes, Philistines, Aniorltes, Am
monites hud at least one god each.
Moses made his god suprdme, and
nil other gods. were driven from the
skies. What turned the trick? I'll
tell you the writings of Moses, and
nothing else. So able, convincing,
direct and inclusive were the claims
of Moses that the world, absolutely,
was won by them. In the Mosaic
Code was enough of tho saving salt
of commonsense to keep it alive. It
was a religion for the now and here.
Tho Mosaic laws are sanitary laws
and work for the positive, present
good of those who abide by them.
It Is not deeds nor acts that last
It Is the written record of those
deeds nnd acts. It was not the life
and death of Jesus that fixed Ills
place as the central figure of His time
and perhaps of all time it was
what Paul and certain unknown
writers who never even saw Him
claimed and had to say in written
words.
Horatlus still stands at the bridge,
because a poet placed him there.
Paul Revere rides a-down t'he
night giving his warning cry, he
cause Longfellow sot the metres In a
gallop.
Across the waste of waters the
enemy calls upon Paul Jones to sur
render, and the voice of Paul Jones
echoes back, "Goddam your souls to
hell we have not yet begun to
flghtV And the sound of the fear
less voice has given courage to
countless thousands to snatch vic
tory from tho jaws of defeat. In
Brussels there is yet to "be heard a
sound of revelry by night, only be
cause Byron told of it.
Commodore Perry, that rash and
Impulsive youth of twenty-six, never
sent that message, "We have met
the enemy and they are ours," but a
good reporter did, and the reporter's
words live, v,hile Perry's died on tiie
empty air.
Lord Douglas never said,
"The hand of Douglas Is his owa,
And never shall In friendship grasp,
The hand of such as Marmlon clasp."
Sir Walter Scott made that remark
on white paper with an eagle's quill,
and schoolboys' hearts will beat high
as they scorn tho offered hand on
Friday afterngons, for centuries to
come.
Vlrginus lives in heroic mould, not
for what he said or did, but for the
words put Into his mouth by a man
who pushed what you call a virile
pen and wrote such an ad for Vir
ginius as ho could never have writ
ten for himself.
Andrew J. Rownn carried the Mes
sage to Garcia, all right, but tho
deed would hnve been lost In the
dust-btn of time, and quickly too,
wore it not for. George H. Daniels,
who etched tho act Into the memory
of tho race, and llxed the deed In
history, sending It down the corri
dors of time with the rumble of the
Empire State Express, so that to-day
it Is a part of the current coin of tho
mental realm, a legal tender wher
ever English she is spoke.
All literature is advertising. And
all genuine advertisements are liter
ature. The author advertises men,
times, places, deeds, events and
things. His appeal Is to the univer
sal human soul. If he does not know
the heart-throbs or men and women,
their hopes, joys, ambitions, tastes,
needs nnd desires, his work will In
terest no one but himself nnd his
admiring friends.
Advertising is fast becoming a
line art. Its theme Is Human Wants,
and where, when and how they may
bo gratified.
It interests, inspires, educates
sometimes amuses Informs and
thereby uplifts and benefits, lubri
cating existence and helping tho old
world on Its way to the Celestial
City of Flno Minds.
NOTICE 01" ADMINISTRATION,
ESTATE OF
LEE CALVIN SMITH.
Lnto of Lake Township,
All persons Indebted to 9ald cstnto are n o ti
ded to make liiimcUlnlo payment to theun
(lerslL'necl ; ahd those having claims ugalnst
the said estato are notllled to present them
duly attested, for settlement.
MINNIIC TO VJCSKND.
Kxcctitrlx.
Ariel. ln.. April 8. 1911. .7)eol6
W. C. SPRY
AUCTIONEER
HOLDS SALES ANYWHERE
IN STATE.
A. O. BLAKE
AUCTIONEER & CATTLE DEALER
YOU WILL MAKE MONEY
BY HAVING ME
Bell Phone 9-U BETHANY, PA. I
titmim:um::i:;ims::t8:ttm
1 WHEN THERE
IS ILLNESS
in your family you of course call
a reliable physician. Don't stop
at that; have his prescriptions
put up at a reliable pharmacy,
even il it is a little farther from
your home than some other store.
You enn And no more i enable
store than ours. It would be im
possible for more care to be taken
in the selection of drugs, etc., or
in the compounding. Prescript
tions brought here, either night
or day, will bo promptly and
accurately compounded by a
competent registered pharmacist
and the prices will be most rea
sonable. O. T. CHAMBERS,
PHARMACIST,
Opp. D. & II. Station, Ho.nesdali. Pa.
Wo print pamphlets,
Wo print catalogues,
Wo print letter heads,
AVo print postal enrds,
Do you need some printing done?
Como to us. If you need some en
velopes "struck off" come to us.
We use plenty of ink on our Jobs.
mmmm
vt : i 1 tfy till i
KRAFT & CONGER
HONESDALE, PA.
Reoresent Reliable
Companies ONLY
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The
Correspondence
01
WHAT WE TEACH
Adverising Man
Show-Card Writing
Window Trimming
Bookkeeper
Stenographer
Civil Service Exams
Commercial Law
Banking
English Branches
High-School Math.
Teacher
Commercial Illus.
Electrical Engineer
Electric Lighting
Electric Railways
Heavy Electric Traction
Electric Wireman
Electric Machine Designer
Telegraph Construction
Telephone Expert
Architecture
Contracting and Building
Building Inspector
Concrete Construction.
Carpet Designing Architectural Draftsman
Wallpaper Designing Monumental Draftsman
Bookcover Designing Bridge Engineer
Ornamental Design'g Structural Draftsman
Linoleum Designing Structural Engineer
Perspective Drawing Plumbing & Steam Fitting
Lettering Heating and Ventilation
Stationary Engineer Plumbing Inspector
Marine Engineer Foreman Plumber
Ga3 Engineer Sheet-Metal Worker
Automobile Running Civil Engineer
Refrigeration Engin'r Surveying and Mapping
Mechanical Engineer R. R. Constructing
Mechanical Draftsman Municipal Engineer
Machine Designer Mining Engineer
Boiler Designer Mine Surveyor
Patternraaking Coal Mining
Toolmaklng Metal Mining
Foundry Work Metallurgist
Blacksmlthing Assayer
Navigation Chemist
Ocean and Lake Pilot Cotton Manufacturing.
Poultry Farming, and Languages: Italian, French,
German and Spanish.
THE I. C. S. WORK
1. We teach unemployed people the theory of the work in which they want to engage.
RESULTS: Positions easily secured, days of drudgery shortened, and sometimes 'avoided al
together; quick promotions.
2. We teach employed people to do their work better. RESULTS : More responsible
positions; better pay.
3. 'We teach dissatisfied people how to do what is more congenial. RESULTS: Prepara
tion for new work before leaving the old ; rapid progress in the new field.
HOW WE DO IT
1. We furnish all necessary preparatory instruction.
2. We explain facts, principles and processes so clearly that the student quickly compre
hends and easily remembers.
3. We illustrate our text-books thoroughly.
4. We give concise rules and practical examples.
5. We grade our instructions.
6. We criticize and correct our students' written recitations and send him special advice
regarding his course whenever necessary.
OUR LOCATION FOR DOING IT
We occupy three buildings in Scranton, having a floor space of over seven acres.
We employ 2,700 people at Scranton.
. ' V. ;,ff . 1 We spend $250,000 each year in improving and revising our instruction papers.
'' I - We handle about 30.000 pieces of mail daily and our daily postage bill is about Sisoo. We
; issued about 63 million pages of instruction last year. We received and corrected 849,168 reci-
4 , , attions and positively know that 1,180 students have their wages increased.
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