THE CITIZEN. FRIDAY, AIMtlU J 4, 1011.
A Sympathetic j
Oriental
By EUNICE IDA BLAKE
Copyright by American I'rivn An-
clatlnn. Ilill.
I urn tliu wile ot n UnltrU Stales nr
my olllcer tnd liuve lived u good dr:i
of my Uda? on the Pacific slope, where
tho only servants to bo bud are riil
nese. 'Sucre Is no doubt but tin- Cln
ncso make very good servants If they
wish to be good, but If t bey prefer to
be bad tbey can excel at tbat too.
I married In the Infantry mid went
out with uiy husband to a station
where the Chinese were ns thlcl; as
blackberries. I had the pride natural
to n bride of showing bow well 1
could keep house and appreciated the
importance of winning the confidence
of my servants, or, rather, at that
time my servant, for the wife of a
second lieutenant neither she nor her
husband having anything but his pay
Is not supposed to keep more than one.
My llrst Chinese servant was Tl
Wang. Ti was the smoothest, softest
tongued rascal I ever met. Ue hud
enough duplicity In hlru for an eight
ecntu century European dlplomnt. To
him words wore indeed Intended to
conceal Ideas.
"You volly young wife," he said to
mu. "You want vclly good Chinaman
for cook. Muchy Chinamen vclly bad.
Ti feel solly for Mellcnn lady. Tl he
good cook."
All this was spoken with a look of
commiseration for a young thing like
myself that to one familiar with the
man from the Flowery Kingdom would
have boded no good. 1 did not doubt
that my servant would be n great
comfort to me. It was not long be
fore bis true Inwardness showed It
self. Ue first made nn excuse of hnv
ing n sick brother who couldn't washy
washy to provide for to wheedle me
out of a month's wages in advance
Then he surreptitiously removed un
der his capacious cout nnd ample
sleeves all the staple kitchen provl
slous I had bought to last several
months Tea, coffee, sugar nnd splcei
disappeared like magic. Then, having
received nn offer of better wages than
I was giving him. he took himself oil
without so much as saying he wn
going.
My next servant was Charlie I.I
Why so many Chinese are called Char
lie I don't know, though Li is an up
propriate uame for them. Charlie
was recommended by the major's
wife, who had him in her kitchen for
nwhlle when her regular servant wn
111. She told me she would rather
have Charlie than the other. 1 hud
no fault to find with Charlie except
that he stayed with me but n day
He didn't stay long enough to ask foi
any wages, and since experience had
taught me not to pay Chinamen in ml
vnnce he didn't get nny.
After tills servnnts were passing
through my kitchen, none staying wl'li
me more than a week. In vain 1 re
fused to engage one unless ho would
agree to stay a month. Somethlii'-'
must he scaring them away. I dldu i
see how they could see nnythlng in a
younpr woman of nineteen to frighten
them, nnd I was the only person w'th
whom they came In contact. One of
them, who was about to depart after
three days of service, I asked why h
left.
"You get Mellcnn cook. Chinaman
not vclly good In this house."
"Why not?"
"Donno. Chinaman won't stay
here."
"Why do you go so soon after com
ing?" "I am velly well."
lie did not seem to care whether
I believed utm or uot. Indeed, he know
he wns lying, nnd 1 knew It too. How
ever. I had had such bad luck with
Chinese servants and there were no
others to be had that I made up my
mind to do my own cooking for nwhlle
Meanwhile my husband, who had
been making Inquiries for me ns to
servants from brother olllcers' wives,
began to be considerably vexed that 1
could uot keep any of them. There
was no such loss of servants among
those who sont me mine, and it up
peared that I must either bo too ex
acting or hnve a frightful temper or
some other blemish that prevented a
servant from working for me. where
as the truth was that after the earlier
ones loft i simply gave up everything
to those who came later, granting all
requests qnd opioslng them in noth
ing, I didn't even dare criticise the
cooking of a slugle dish. The first tiff
I had with my husband was when he
ventured to remark that perhaps 1
didn't give them quite free rein
enough I resented the Imputation
with n fervor that sent him off to the
officers' club nnd prevented his over
making any such suggestion In future.
One day I put the tin bread box out
In t.ti.; sun, turning It up on its side
and exposing the bottom. I was sur
prised to see Chinese characters on It
I wondered what they meant. When
a woman begins to wonder what is the
meaning of anything it Is preparatory
to making plans to find out I called
the servaut of my next door neighbor,
who was beating a rug, to como over
und translate the characters. He did
do as follows:
"This Is a very bad woman. She
doesn't pay the servants' wages and
gives no extras."
That smooth tongued villain Tl
Wang, who bad pitied my youth and
Inexperience and had robbed me be
side, had chalked a notice on the
bread box warning all other servants
against me. I waited patiently till my
husband came In from bis duties and,
showing him the characters on the bot
tom of the box, banded him a transla
tlon.
JAMES GIBBONS, AMERICAN CARDINAL
Y prelates, bishops and all dignitaries of all denominations and
by the laity and citizens generally C'nulliial .lames (iibbons, the
only cardinal in this country, is conceded (o be pre-eminent In
the church and a great intellectual force In whatever he docs
He wns born In Baltimore July 12.1, 183-1. At the age of seventy-seven
he is active and alert, a successful director of ecclesiastical affairs and
a citizen of influence. At the age of twenty-M-ven he was ordained l
Archbishop Keudrlck in the cathedral at Baltimore.
Raw Musk.
Musk In the raw looks a good deal
like axle grease and smells worse. The
popular notion that the musk of com
merce is obtained from the muskrat
is a mistake. There is obtained a
Romcwhat similar perfume from tho
muskrat, but most of the supply
comos from tho musk deer, n crea
ture that is carefully reared in India
for tho sake of the secretion. The
secretion is shipped in the crude state
and is used not only in tho manufac
ture of the liquid perfume sold .as
musk, but nlso in very small quanti
ties to give strength and staying pow
er to mnny perfumes made from the
essential oils of flowers. Curiously
enough, tho blossoms of two native
plants have a noticeably musky odor.
One is the small yellow blossom of a
creeping vine known as the musk
plant, Its odor Is marked and is coun
terfeited in the commercial perfume
called musk. Tho other is the blood
root. Tho pure white blossom of that
early spring plant has a distinct
though delicate musky odor. A bean
known as the musk bean Is a cheap
substitute for animal musk.
Fine Language.
In the school year of 18C0-7, in the
town of Topsfleld, Mass., there was
at least one committeeman whoso com
mand of language was unusual. This
is shown by tho annual report of tho
school committee for that season, part
of which' is copied here:
"The primary center school was in
structed by Miss . Under tho
guidance of this muster hand In gou
ulno philosophic simplicity tho school
presented tho same phase of unvarying
successful advancement ns in former
years, from the dissonant mouthlngs
of half fledged Juvenile articulation,
through the winding passages of sylla
blcism to tho Mount IIopo of spell
rending, the same grateful Intersper
slon of gymnastic, vocal, recessive and
studious enaction rendering every ex
ercise equally n pastime nnd romanc
ing tho reality of tho flrst efforts in
dry study." Youth's Companion.
Astrology and Var.
It has been stated on what Is said to
bo good authority that a representative
of tho Prussian government asked of a
French astrologer the proper time to
pick a quarrel with France. After
cnrefully comparing horoscopes of
high officials he answered that any
hour In the afternoon as near as possi
ble midway beteen the Oth nnd 14th
of July, 1870. On the 11th of July
William snubbed Bencdettl, the French
emissary, ami on tho 12th friendly re
lations censed.
An Ancient Die.
In the museum at Athens is shown
what is probably the only genuine
antique die used for coinage that is
now extant. It was found in Egypt in
1004 nnd consists of bronze, engraved
with tho owl that was stamped on
Athenian tetrndrachma pieces, which
contained about as much silver ns
three quarter dollars. The die is of
scientific Interest on account of the
evidence It gives of the skill of tho
ancients three or four hundred years
before Christ in metallurgy. It con
tains about 22'i per cent of tin nnd
nearly TO per cent of copper. It is
extremely hard, but at tho same time
possesses n certain malleability, due to
the great purity of the copper and
tin, which were cnrefully freed from
all traces of lead and zinc to preserve
tho hardness and from nrsenlc nnd
antimony to avoid brittleness. Har
per's Weekly.
Hard to Deny.
As Miss Hypatla Squuretoes reached
the culminating point of her lecture
ou "Woman's Itights nnd How to
Wield Them" she threw buck her
head and stood In an attitude of defi
ance. "Talk of man!" she cried. "What
has man ever done for woman?"
"He's furnished the model she's try
ing her best to Imitate!" boomed a
manly voice from the rear of tho hall.
And then a palpitating silence rolgncd
for nearly u minute.
"HAT' CHASE,
manager of the Highlanders, who
Is confident of snatching the pen
nant from the rest of the American
League.
! Passports In Russia,
.' Every person arriving in Russia l'i
j tvqulrcd to surrender liN passport t
' the owner or mainr-ei- of the hotel or
j house hg stops nt imil If mart led. give
i all .information us i. name und
1 nges of his wife tuiil li.,d,in. so as to
enable the home i v. it i ,r hotel pro
prietor to com; I e l .. hi. ink prescrib
ed by law for -.iitlMiiee with the
passport to the irs,ie-tive police dis
trict station for registration. The
blanks nre made nut hi duplicate, one
copy being (Hied out nt the police sta
tion and the other forwarded to He
address bureau, at which place it Is
possible to learn the address of any
one residing, temporarily or otherwise,
In the city. A similar blank Is filled
out when the party moves Into anoth
er house or leaves the city, notation
being made ns to the destination. The
traveler in leaving need only inform
the hotel management or house owner,
provided he N living In prlvnte apart
ments, of his departure and give th.
name of the city or country he i'
bound for.
The Retort Legal.
"Sometimes the law seems unjust
for the reason that It Isn't compre
hended," said u judge. "Take the case
of the woman prisoner before Sir Ed
ward Coke. This wonlnn appeared in
! court with her hat on. The Judge said
i sternly:
" 'A woman may be covered In
church, but uot when arraigned In a
rourt of Justice.'
"To this the woman replied:
" 'It seems singular that I may wear
my hat in the presence of Clod, but
not in the presence of man.'
"And she would appear, in her legal
Ignorance, to have got the better of
the argument until Sir Edward Coke
retorted :
" 'It isn't singular at all. Man, with
his weak intellect, cannot discover se
crets known to God, and therefore In
investigating truth the court must see
all obstacles put aside. Accordingly
It Is fitting that the prisoner's hut be
removed and with it the shadow that
It casts on her face.' "
He Didn't Like Connecticut.
"1 have always had a mild Interest,"
1 said the lawyer, "In the origin of the
Connecticut Yankee's reputation, hut 1
had no Idea that it extended so far
back until I ran across in the surro
gate's office the other day the will of
i Lewis Morris of Morrisanla, made in
, ITCiO nnd admit ted to probate In 1702.
U contnlns this paragraph:
, " 'It is my desire that my son, (ion
i vernenr Morris, may have the best
Education that is to be had In Eng
land or America but my Express Will
anil Directions are that he lie neve:
i-oiit for that purpose to the Colony of
Connecticut, least he should Imbibe In
his youth that low Craft and cunning
so Incident to the people of that Conn
Ivy, which Is so Interwoven in their
( cnstltutions' Hint nl! their art cannot
disguise It from the world, tho many
of them under tho Si.nctlfyed garb of
Iteligion have Endeavoured to Impose
Mioinsolvos on the World for honest
Men.' "- New Ynrk'Sun.
"Beautiful as a Dachshund."
It Is in the drawing rooms of the
Gorman diplomats and their friends
hat you meet occasionally the long hair
ed, aesthetic masculine beings whom
you have perhaps noticed sjjatlng In
the Tlergarten, with their long coats
Happing In the breeze, or hunched over
a journal at Bauer's artists and writ
ers whose names every one knows, nnd
there are dozens of young army olil
eers, their cheeks scarred with tw
wounds of many duels. They tall.
Wagner nnd Schopenhauer with seri
ous appreciation, and in the midst of
the waltz as they are spinning fraulein
giddily around nnd nround like an ani
mated top you may overhear them
whispering in her ear, "You are ns
beautiful us a dachshund."
It Is their supremo compliment, De
lineator. A Grewsome Bequest.
What Is probably the strangest and
at the same time the most horrible be
quest over made is to bo found in tho
will of Lieutenant do Tap, formerly
nn officer in n smart regiment of Aus
trian hussars, who was executed by
strangling some yenrs ago for the mur
der of his brother.
. Previous to his execution the mur
derer requested that ho might bo pho
tographed while hanging on tho gal
lows and n copy of the ghastly picture
sent to his fnther.
Phil May's Habits.
The all night and next day habits of
Phil May, the artist, have furnished
material for many a story. Joe Tap
ley, the singer, said thnt he enme
across May one night nnd heard that
the latter had not been to bed for four
nights and days. He remonstrated,
and May said: "Never mind, Joe; we'll
make u bargnln. Don't you lose uny
sleep on my nccount, and I'll promise
thnt us soon as I feel tired I'll go to
bed!"
To Win Notice.
Mrs. Greene One docs not like to
bo Ignored. I wore n brand now gown
at tho reception Inst night, and I don't
believe a soul noticed mo. Mrs. Gray
Thoro's where you made a mistake.
Now, I wore my old black silk that
has been turned twice, nnd everybod.
saw me fast enough.
Crooked and Straight.
In all tilings throughout the world
tho men who look for tho crooked will
see the crooked nnd tho men who look
for tho straight will seo the straight.
John ituskln.
No one is usles in this world who
lightens tho burden of it for any one
clue.
Monster Banquets.
At the wedding feast of Richard,
brother of Henry III., there were no
fewer than 30,000 dishes, and scarcely
less Imposing must have been tho ban
quet given on the occasion of tho en
thronement of Archbishop Neville in
the fifteenth century, for mention is
made, among other comestibles, of
3,000 dishes of Jelly, 2,000 hot cus
tards, -IQ0 swans, (1 wild bulls nnd 100
pigs. At the noted feasts of the gay
and hospitable Prlnco Hal a favorite
dish wns what the "epicurean cooks"
cnlled "poudorrnge." It was a savory
Jumble of partridge, pork and the
yolks of eggs boiled first and after
ward linked In batter. But tho most
hospitnblo entertainer on record wns
surely Itichard II. Ten thousand of
his subjects were dally bid to tho ban
quet. In order to cater adequately for
such u vast assembly of guests never
were there less than 28 oxen supplied,
300 sheep, besides Innumerable fowls
nnd choice game. Those were handed
over each morning nt daybreak to tho
2,000 cooks employed in the king's
kitchen mid the prodigious prepara
tions for tills huge medieval banquet
began. London Globe.
Parrots In a Fire.
In all likelihood no fireman on duty
is going to stand around with his hand
In his pockets long enough to read the
warning, nevertheless it is printed In
large type above the bird fancier's
desk :
"In case of lire save the parrots last.
They are best able to take care of
themselves."
"Looks like hard luck for tho par
rots," remarked u visitor.
"I have no grudge against them,"
said the bird man. "1 am only trying
to protect the smaller and more deli
cate birds. When a fire starts In a
bird store most persons who Join the
rescue party make a grab for tho par
rots. First aid should he extended to
the canaries. They nnd other small
birds are mighty soon overcome by
the, smoke. The parrot Is no phoenix,
but mile" lie is actually nduced to
ashes lie can put up a pretty stiff fight
against u fire and can hold his own
until the rescuers make n second inva
sion." Now York Sun.
Tha Moss Troopers.
.Moss troopers wns the name given
to the desperate plunderers nnd rob
hers who secreted themselves through
out tho sixteenth nnd seventeenth cen
turies in the "mosses" on the borders
of Scotland These outlaws were
largely made up of deserters and crltu
Inals from the armies of England nnd
the continent, nnd their depredations
nnd cruelties were the terror of the re
gion infested by them. Many severe
laws were passed against them, but
they were not fairly extirpated until
the eighteenth century.
Good deeds ring clear through heav-
like a bell. Rlchter.
KICK, THE EDITOR !!!
Have you a kick coming ?
Is there anything that displeases you ?
Are you unhappy and need cheering up ?
Has any little thing gone wrong ?
Tell us your troubles. Let us help you ?
For each of the three best kicks each week, The Citizen
will give a brand new crisp one dollar bill. Don't kick too
long. 50 words to a kick. No limit, however, to the num
ber of your kicks. You don't have to be a subscriber to be a
kicker.
Open to everyone alike, men, women and children, subscribers and non-subscribers.
Old and young, rich and poor. Itemember two cents a word for tho
three best kicks.
There must be something you don't like.
Kick about it. What good is an editor any
way except to fix up the kicks of his read
ers? Relieve your mind and get a prize!
KICK! KICK ! KICK I
A few suggested subjects at which to kick! The weather, of course
Tight fitting shoes. Tho high cost of living. The hobble skirt and the
Harem trousers. High hats on week days. Suffragism, etc., etc.. etc. The
funnier the better.
Several people have asked us if the fifty-word letters containing kicks
have to be slgnejl. How else will wo know to whom to award the prizes'
Whether in the event of tho letter winning a prize and being published'
the name, of the kiclcer would appear is another question. Undoubtedly
the writer's wishes would ho followed on that score. Our Idea of the
"Kick Kontest" Includes everything except direct and offensive personali
ties. Sit right down now and dash off fifty words about anything you don't
like and want to register a kick against. It won't take you five mtnutea
and you may win a prize. Tho more original the subject tho better chance
for a prize. One dollar for less than five minutes work is pretty good nay
Of course you can make your kick as short as you wish. A clover fifteen!
word kick may win a prize over a full-length fifty-word one. The shorter
the better. un
For the best kick of ten words or less The Citizen will pay an additional
prize of one dollar. Now then, lace up your shoes and let drive!
PROFJESSIONAIi CARDS.
Attornevs-nt-Lnw.
E WILSON,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW.
Jlllce adjacent to Post Office In Dimmlcfc
office. Ilonpstln'e, Pa.
WM. II. LEE,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LATT.
Office over post office. All lcgul business
irnmptly attended to. lloncsdale. Pa.
EC. MUMFORD,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW
i.'J1J',ln7L"V,rty "J11,1 bUlldl"B- opposite the
Cost Office. Ilonesdale. Pa.
HOMER GKEENE.
ATTORNEY A COUXSEI.OR-AT-LAW
Office over Kelt's store. lloncsdale Pa.
pIIAELES A. McCAJRTY,
U ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR- IT-LAW.
Special nnd prompt attention given to the
ollcctlon of claims. Office over Keif's new
itore. Ilonesdale. Pa.
1,-1 P. KIMBLE,
V . ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW
Office over the tiost office lloncsdale. Pa.
ME. SIMONS,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW
Office in the Court House, Ilonesdale
Pa.
PETEH II. ILOFF,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW.
Office-Second floor old Savings Knk
building. Ilonesdale. Pa.
EARLE & SALMON,
ATTORNEYS A COUNSELORS-AT-LAW
Offices lately occupied by Judge Searle
CHESTER A. GAREATT, "
ATTORNEY A COUNbELOR-AT-LAW.
Office adjacent to Post Office, lloncsdale. P
Dentists.
DR. K. T. BHOWN,
DENTIST.
, Office Plrst floor, old Savings Hank build
hi!;. Ilonesdale. Pa.
DR. C. R. BRADY,
DENTIST, IIONESDALE, PA.
Office Hoijhs-H a. m. to C p. m.
Any evening by appointment.
Citizens' phone. 33. Itesldence. No. it6-X
Physicians.
PR. PETERSON, M. D.
. 1120 MAIN STREET, IIONESDALE, PA.
Kyeand liar n specialty. Tho lltting of glass
es given careful attention.
Livery.
LIVERY. r red. U. llickard has re
moved his livery establishment from
corner Chuch street to Whitney's Stone
Barn
ALL CALLS
PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO.
FIRST CLASS OUTFITS. 75yl
Certified Nurse,
MRS. C. M. BONESTEEL,
GLEN EYRE, TIKE CO., PA.,
Certified Nurse, P. S. N.
Tcleplione-uicn iiyre. 17moJ
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