THK CITIZliN, F1UDAV, FKIHWAKY 10, 1011.
The
Scrap Book
Misjudged.
A young woman rushed up to a
Tourp man on Superior uvenuc the
Other day and shook hands with him
cordially. "I have a confession to
make to you," she gurgled. "You
won't bcllOTO It, but I always thought
you drank."
The young man lingered for u clove
and tried not to blush.
"And now," sho pursued, "I And that
you are actually a temperance worker.
Now I boo you nro trying to be mod.
est and deny It, but you can novel
fool me again. I overhead my brother
saying, In his slangy way, that you
wero a great booze lighter! Oh, ho
(was In earnest. V hy, ho said that you
had punished more of the stuff than
any other ten men in Cleveland. I'm
proud to know you. Will you ever
pardon mo for misjudging you?"
She was gone before he got through
choking. Cleveland IMaln Dealer.
Life.
Ah, what Is life, bo brief at best?
A waklnjr between rest and rest;
An Insect's trail alone the Band;
A gem's bright (lash upon the hand;
A ware lino traced on ocean's shore,
Just rippled there, then seen no moro;
A breath upon a frosted pane,
A moment warmed, then chilled again;
The shadow of a cloud that stays
Until obscured by passing haze.
Canst think of audit more brief, mora
noet,
To Imago forth Time's flying feet?
Tet In the shadow. In tho breath,
Our lovo awakes, which knows no death,
And life, which seams so brief to be,
Is crowned by Immortality!
Margaret May.
Tho Parrot Told.
The lute Dr. Macgrcgor of St Cuth
bert's, Edinburgh, had a favorite par
rot, a brilliant linguist and remarka
bly "quick study." As he was going
into tho country for a month Dr. Mac
gregor arranged with a friend who
tad a parrot to take charge of his pet.
lie ordered his beadle to carry the
cage to tho bird's new abode.
It was a wet and stormy night, and
the headlo grumbled to himself In lan
guage unbecoming a minister's man,
"while tho parrot listened. So when
he was sol down in the parlor of a.
faintly lady and the cover removed
tho bird addressed himself directly to
tho other parrot:
"Yo ugly beast, if it wasna for
you I widna hue been oot the nlcht!
Jolted the Judge.
A prominent New York justice got a
Jolt the other day, and ho is telling the
story of it yet. Hp said that late one
afternoon ho gave a case to a jury
and that it was 4:30 o'clock the follow
ing morning before the Jury agreed
upon u verdict.
"I waited for the verdict," said tho
justice, "and after it was returned I
told tho Jurors that, as it -was possible
that most of them wore married men.
If thoy desired I would give to each a
eertificate that he had been detained
nntil 4:30 o'clock in the morning on
Jury service.
"Tho Jurors consulted together for a
tew minutes." continued the Justice.
and then the foreman arose and said,
"ve thank you for your consideration
and appreciate the kindness of your
offer and desire to say that if your
honor needs a certificate to the effect
that you were detained until 4:30
o'clock in the morning waiting for our
Terdlct we will gladly so certify."
The Justice hastily declined this
kind offer with thanks and Just as
hastily adjourned court.
His Recommendation.
A girl named Norah O'Brien had
been employed as housemaid for a
week, so an English story runs, dur
ing which time she had drunk the con
tents of a bottle of choice whisky.
ho became dissatisfied with her posi
tion and asked hor employer for a
'character." Her employer wrote,
"Norah O'Brien has been in my em
ploy only a week, but I know that
there is much that Is good in her."
Made the Most of It.
A typographical change, which was
not exactly an error, recently cost an
Indianapolis printer $5 when he had
expected to send only 10 cents. The
printer in question was busy u few
days ago, when ho was called on by
an itinerant member of tho craft, who
asked for 10 cents with which to buy
some liquid refreshment Not having
10 cents In change, the printer hastily
wrote an order on a downtown saloon,
as follows:
"Pleose let bearer have one good
drink and charge same to ."
When Inter he went to pay the bill
It was $5, and he nt onco raised objec
tions. Tho original order was pro
duced, when It was found that the
Itinerant had changed tho "1" In the
word "drink" to "u," making the pa
per good for "one good drunk." It
had tnken fifty glasses of boozo to
satisfy the altered conditions of tho
order to tho satisfaction of tho bearer.
Indianapolis News.
He Wouldn't Bribe Them.
Ono of tho cleverest bits of election
eering dodgery engineered in England
was dovised by an agent who iiad been
torbldden to corrupt the electors, ne
rfallod a meeting and attended with
his pockets full of gold. "I have to
Inform you, gentlemen," ho began,
"that there is to bo no bribery on our
Bide during this election. Hear, hoar.)
Vor my part I do not intend to give
away a penny piece. (Uneasy silence.)
But I am afraid there are some d d
rascals in this room and that present
ly they will lay me on the table and
take 000 sovereigns out of my pock
ets." The next for mlautsa bit pent
npon the table.
Till? AYLK.SBUHY DUCKS.
Most I'opiilnr of the lllITrrent Itrci'ds
nf .'licks.
Prliably tho Aylesbury duck 's
the most popular of the different
breeds of ducks. It most certainly
Is in Kngland, as It has been 3ald
that there are 2 Ayle3bury ducks
marketed to jne of any other duck
The reason tho Aylesbury is 30
popumi Is that It Is a bird which
growb and matures very rapidly, and
its whlti feathering and ptnkl3h,
wnlto peak commend It for the msr
Ico t Th.;re are however, objec
tions ti. the Aylesbury which make it
not by any means a perfect bird. The
nrst .objection 13 that it is not '
layer Its laying qualities onn bo
materially Improved by crossing It
with tho Pokin. As a matter ot
fact, i'ekin ducks mated with an
Aylesbury dr.ike will produce layers
of much more prolific type than
the pure Aylesbury or Indeed than
the pure Pakln, very often. Again,
a cross between the Rouen and the
Aylesbury will produce a hard'er
and bigger tab.e bird, quite 'equal
in quality or flesh and other table
properties to the pure Aylesbury.
Another point worthy of notice, is
that many (trains of Aylesbury
ducks are rather delicate and need
a grea deal of attention, a disad
vantage which, of course, can be
gotten over by judicious crossing.
The farmer . ho goes In for duck
keeping, will assuredly find more
profit lc good crossing than In kenp.
lng any pure variety, for ducks pay
to hitch artificially, either for rear-in-,
or for selling the ducklings In
tho jpen market.
As tar as the latter part or the
business Is "incerned. It Is certain
ly a fact that a cross bred duckling
will show It-ell more sturdy and
more forward than any pure bred
Aylesbury duckling. Of course II
duck eggs be the object In view and
not the rearing ot ducks for the
table, the Pekiu will be round more
profitable thin tho Aylesbury, hut
even more profi'.r.ble than the Pekin
is the Indian Runner, or the new
Klakl. either of which will lay a
great many more eggs than any of
the old varieties.
Generally speaking then the P'ire
bred Aylesbury duck Is not what a
farmer need3. Summed up It may
be sail, not to bi the best layer nor
the best tabln bird.
fattening Turkeys.
An experiment was made as to
the gains of turkeys confined In puns
as compared with those that ran at
large. Those In pens were given
all thoy could eat clean of a mix
ture wheat, oats, and barley 2:1:1.
In tho morning the grain was red
chopped and wet with milk, but in
the evening U was red whole. It
was noted that the turkeys were ap
parently more tond or oats than of
other grains, so toward the end of
the fattening period the proportion
of this grain was Increased. A little
grain was fed the turkeys which
were not confined, In addition to the
food which they could gather. Tho
five turkeys In pens weighed on an
average G.55 pounds each at the be
ginning of the test. During tho
forty-two days of the feeding period
the average gain was 4.5 pounds,
6 pounds of grain being eaten per
pound of gain. The turkeys run
ning at large also weighed at tho
beginning of tho tests G.6fi pounds
each and made an average of 1.85
pounds. In both cases the great
est gains were made during the first
three weeks of the period. It is
stated that the penned turkeys when
dressed shrank Ave per cent less
than those ruunlng at large and
that they were plumper and in every
vay more inviting in appearance.
Mark the Pullets.
Tho farmer who does not mark
his pullets each year has no way on
earth to tell the age of his flock,
and when he wants to cull them out
and sell off some he Is just as liable
to sell the pullets as he is the hens.
Some farmers do not do any syste
matic culling and then when spring
comes and the hens have been fed
through the winter with the younger
females, they come through fat and
thei, every day or two when you
let them out in tho morning, some of
them do not come out, and a care
ful survey disclose" them dead un
der the roost.
Then the farmer will wonder why
his hens die. Tho pullots may bo
markea with a hole In the web of
tho foot, but a bettor way Is to put
a leg band on the pullets and then It
will oo known that all whj have no
band aro older Then next year
there would not need to be any
banding, for before the young would
grow up the old ones that were on
hand prior to th!3 year should have
been sold, so that tho banding would
only need to be done evary other
yeai.
The poultry roan who keeps only
two-year-olds is tho ono who will
make the roost profit. A three-old
heit will not lay eggs enough to pay
for her keeping.
Duck feathers sell at 40 cents per
pound. Good feathers bring double
the amount.
About four dozen eggs are given as
an average for the annual output of
the turkey.
JOSH GAVE THE CUP.
But He Couldn't Make Good on the
Bear Proposition.
Josh Billings, the gaunt, long haired
philosopher, was one Of the most gen
inl of men. Many of bis 111 spelled
sayings were meaty, and ono of them
nt least was worthy of Solomon. It
was:
"Tho best way for a father to train
his boy in the way he should go Is to
go that way himself."
Some years ago, when Josh was stay
ing in the White mountains', ho was
charmed by a beautiful spring of clear, '
Icy cold water which bubbled up at
tho side of the highway. Ho mndo the
carriage stop and, removing bis slouch '
hnt, lay down on his face nnd drank j
n deep, refreshing draft. In compli
ment to him the residents in the neigh
borhood named the fountain "Josh
Billings' spring," nnd It has thus been
known ever since.
At the nearest village Josh bought
a huge tin cup and scratched on Its
side tho warning:
1 Whoever steals this fino bin cud
By a big black bear will bo cat up.
JOSH BILLINGS.
This cup was placed on a broad,
flat stone within convenient reach. A
few days later the humorist, having 1
nursed a consuming thirst, walked all
the way to the spring to qnench tho
same. To his dismay and anger the
utensil was gone, and on a sapling
near at hand was tneked a bit of pa
per with the penciled words:
Dear Josh, your cup Is eone, I know not
where.
Now, If you pliase, trot out your big
blapk bear.
Fortunately for tho poet ho did not
sign his name or give any clew to his
identity. I,os Angeles Times.
He Meant Well.
When Earl Spencer was lord lieu
tenant of Ireland tho people of Dublin
called the beautiful countess, one of
tho loveliest women of her time,
"Spenser's Faerie Quecne."
But when their excellencies were
nbout to return to England Irish gal
lantry was shown In a characteristic
way. At the farewell banquet in their
honor an Irish gentleman who was
anxious to pay the beautiful countess
n compliment got up nnd said, with
much fervor and many bows:
"We all hope soon to see you back
again, you and the work of art by
your side."
Willing to Be Fined.
There wus un actor who worked for
a manager who had a mania for fining
the members of bis company. For a
bad makeup, for lateness, for noise In
the wings, for a hundred things, the
players were bilked from a quarter
to ?2. The worst of all the fines was
one of 10 cents for failure to return
"properties," for this was a duty that
every one, and this actor in particular,
continually forgot.
In a financial drama one night tho
supply of stage money ran out, and
the manager loaned our actor $8 or 9
in real bills to uso In the next scene.
The manager said sternly to ttiOjnc
tor the following Snturday:
"By the way, Booth, you haven't re
turned that .$9 I fixa you in net threo
Monday night."
"Never mind." said the actor. "Just
tine me a dime and enll It square."
Philadelphia ledger.
Took His Medicine.
A famous actor will never take med
icine, and his medical man was often
obliged to resort to stratagem to Im
pose u doso upon him. Thcro Is a
play in which the hero Is sentenced
to drink a cup of poison. The actor
in question was playing this charac
ter one night nnd had given directions
WHEN HE CAME TO DBINK IT.
to have the cup filled with port wine.
But when ho camo to drink it what
was his horror to find It contained a
dose of senna! Ho could not throw It
nwny, as he had to hold tho goblet
upside down to show his persecutors
ho had drained overy drop of it. Our
hero drank the medicine, but ho never
forgnvo his medical man, as was
proved at bis death, for he died with
out paying his bill.
Merely a Dentist's Job.
MacDougal - Dougal determined to
celebrate the christening of his first
born in grand shape and Journeyed to
London to buy many things for the
house, nnd especially n flue piano.
MacDougal-Dougal decided to have
tho piano sent on In advance, ne
didn't, wnct to tnko It up with him,
for it was a somewhat bulky package,
so ho dispatched It Jubilantly before
ho left town.
When he arrived In Scotland ho was
met by his trusty retainer.
"Well, did the piano arrive safely?"
be asked.
"Aw, weel," replied Donald, "sho'a
ns weel as ye could expect. She ".lip
ped as she was ganging tao the boose
an' broke a foo of her front teeth, bat
T dlnn think she's reellr hurt"
S TEX Mil
ONLY FOOLING?
Promoter Planning Another IzZ
and Johnson Batile,
NEGRO SAYS HE IS WILLIN3
If Men Are Matched Where Will Bout
Be Held? Public Would Not Look
Upon It With Favor Would Not At
tract Any Great Interest.
Dy TOMMY CLARK.
One finds it pretty hard to take seri
ously the plans of Tex IMckard to pun
off tinother fight between Jack John
son and Jim Jeffries. I'et tho llenx
promoter is not merely talking, but is
likely to go through with his scheme.
Itickard has given It out that be bold i
Johnson's promise to meet Jeff nt any
time that it might suit bis pleasure,
provided the right sized purse was
offered, nnd Klckurd is now working
hard to get Jeff's cousent to nrrange
the match. The fact that Jeffries has
repeatedly charged that he was drug
gcd on tho day ho fought Johnson
leads to tho belief that it will not be
a difficult matter to induce him to
fight the negro ugnln.
Jeffries recently stated that be
would not fight again. Still, it musi
bo remembered he said tho same thing
when ho was first approached to meet
Johnson after the hitter's defeat of
Tommy Burns. It Is not necessary to
review unpleasant history which was
made when he changed bis mind. It
is n possibility of similar reversal of
ideas that Tex Itickard and his associ
ates are banking on at the present
time. Jeff's real friends hope he will
close the argument for all time with a
curt refusal to fight again, but this Is
far from assured.
If the men aro matched, where will
the fight bo held? It surely will not
take place in San Francisco. And if
Itickard plans to hold it in Reno he
would lose a fortune.
Just what view the public would
take of such a match remains to bo
seen. Right now the sentiment would
be against a return engagement, for
those who can figure Jeffries ns having
a chance are few and far between. It
would be looked upon ns a mere effort
on the part of those interested to get
tho public's money.
Jeffries and Johnson might make it
fair amount of coin out of the bout,
thanks to the repeated hollers from the
"California bear" that ho Is positive
ho was drugged, but it would be no
worldwide sensation. Outside of Jef
fries, his immediate family and one
or two newspaper writers who are
warm personal friends of the defeated
Idol, no one oven hints that Jeff could
come back, oven with the most strenu
ous training.
if he wus all In at Reno, wh
shouldn't ho be In worse shape, so far
as lighting is concerned, a year or so
bonce? Fight enthusiasts might attend
because the sporting public sometimes
likes to be bunkoed, but the fight, in
all probability, would have tho same
sort of ending. But there would be
this satisfaction la handling the
match Jeff would have to come down
from his lofty throne of indifference
and sullenness to make the match n
financial success, no would have to
train under orders nnd be more agree
able to the world at large.
As a defeated champion, and defeat
ed with no credit to himself, Jim Jef
fries would likely discover the spotting
public Inclined to treat blm more
coldly. There would be less running
after Jeff and more necessity for blm
to play the courtier, however painful.
In signing for such a fight tho Call
fornlan would make It apparent that
he wants the money rather than, ns
he onco loftily put it, tho glory of re
claiming for tho white race tho heavy
weight championship. Nor will he be
able to lay the blame of forcing him
back Into tho ring upon the newspa
pers. , The former bollermaker should un
derstand once for nil that public senti
ment does not require him to get back
into the game. Tho public is either in
different on the subject or would op
pose it If It had a word to say. Jef
fries may fight for the sake of gold,
but that will be all. The proposed
fight cannot stand out by Itself and
would bo nothing more than n contest
between the recognized champion and
ono of the familiar sights of tho prize
ring tho beaten man who wants one
moro chance.
Bicyclist Moran to Race In Paris.
Jimmy Moran of tho winning team
in tho recent six day bicycle race in
New York, who is now in Paris, will
engage in a series of races there.
SPORTS IN SMALL CHUNKS
Plmlico's racing dates will be April
0 to May 17.
Jamestown's spring racing dates are
April 1 to April 28.
Pittsburg's new $1,500,000 amateur
clubhouso will bo opened Feb. 23.
The lntercollegiato track and field
championships may be held in Syra
cuse, N. X., May 23 nnd 27.
The annual bench show of tho West
minster Kennel club will be held In
Madison Square Garden, New York,
Feb. 13 to 10. There are moro than 000
regular classes and nearly 1,000 specials.
Reversed the Proposition
Robert Wickllffo WoDlley, the writer,
found it noccssnry not long ago to
tdko n trip west On tho dining car
of the train bo saw that he had in hit
pocket 10 cents In change, his small
est bank note being ono for $G0. Ho
handed this to the porter, who went
to tho end of tho car for a conference
with the conductor.
"I'm very sorry nbout this." said
the conductor, stnnding in front of
Woolley and toying with tho big bill,
"but we haven't the change for ?."0.
We'll just take your address nnd send
you the change."
Woolley cnlmly reached over and
took possession of the banknote.
"You've got nothing on mo," ho Bald.
"I'll tnko tho address of tho railroad
and send tho price of the meal."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Maniacs.
Not nil the lunatics are behind the
bars. Charleston (S. C.) News nnd
Courier. '
Quite so. There are yet a few men
at large who try to do business with
out advertising. New York Herald.
Distinguishing Marks.
Willie How do you manage to tell
those twin sisters apart? Cecil
When you kiss one of them sho
threatens to tell her ma, while the oth
sr when kissed says sho will tell pa.
Going Too Far.
Baldheaded Man (In the witness
box) Tho violent disorder was so ter
rible that It made my hnir stand on
end. Judge (severely) Bo good enough
to remember that you arc on oath!
SAY! IT'S GOING TO RAIN
"The day is cold,
It rains, and the
Rainy days arc dismal days, cheerless and full of gloom; but they
are sure to come into the life of every person. You cannot hope to
escape them entirely, but you may
PREPARE FOR THE COMING STORM
By opening a savings account in HONESDALK DIME BANK. Suck
a "rainy day" protection Is better than an umbrella, for tho latter
will get old and fail to be of service, while tho bank account, with
Its compound interest, will grow and grow and become a joy and
comfort when you most need such factors of helpfulness. Come
in and let us talk it over. With a one dollar deposit, which will
belong to you, we give a Household Bank free.
Special
Sale
IyI
enner & Co.
Will close out Winter Goods
in all their fladeup Stock.
Ladies' Tailored Suits, Fur Coats,
Muffs and Collars, Long Heavy Coats
in black and colors, Separate Skirts,
Ladies and Misses Bath Robes.
A genuine reduction on regular prices.
An annual opportunity that you will be wise
to take advantage' of.
IV1ENNER & CO.
D. & H. CO. TiriE TABLE
A.M.
SUN
A.M.
A.M.
A.M
P.M.
SUN
8 30
Iff 00
10 00
4 30
U 05
Albany ....
, liinghumton
10 00
A.M
10O0
2 IS
12 30
8 30
2 15
Philadelphia....
1 20
2 08
7 25
8 15
4 40
5 30
1 20
2 08
7 10
7 65
..Wllkea-Ilarro.
Scranton....
P.M.
A.M.
P.M
P.M,
A.M.
Lv
6 40
S GO
9 05
6 20
6 30
2 05
2 15
2 19
8 45
8 65
.....Carbondale....
...Lincoln Avenue..
, Whites....;..
, .Farview
, Canaan
.... Lake Lodore ...
... . Wayraart
Keene
Bteene
Prompton
..... Fortenta
Seelyvllle
.... Bnneadals ....
9 15
9 IB
9 36
9 42
9 48
O 64
6 11
6 17
6 34
8 69
6 62
6 68
2 37
2 43
2 49
2 62
2 67
2 69
3 03
3 07
3 10
3 16
9 18
8 24
6 23
626
632
6 35
639
6 13
H 46
600
7 04
9 29
9 61
7 07
7 13
7 16
7 20
9 32
9 67!
10 00
B 3:
939
9 43
9 47
9 60
B 66
10 T4
10 08
7 24
7 27
10 11
10 151
7 31
P.M. A.M.
P.M. P.M. A.M. Ar
Dynumltc.
Gelatine dynamites are moro diffi
cult to explode than tho ordinary
brnnds, and require qulntupl, forco
caps or double-Btrength fuses to de
velop the full force.-
A Great Structure.
London has completed the steel
structure of its great stadium whero
the Olympic games aro to ba hald. It
Is designed tc accommodate 70,000
spectators.
Newspapers In Clilnn.
Tho growth of public spirit In
Chlnu Is evidenced by the great num
ber of newspapers which have
sprung up since the closo of the war
with Japan.
EUIE TRAINS.
Trains leave Union depot at S.26
a. ra and 2.48 p. m., week dayB.
Trains arrive Union depot at l.tO
and 8.05 p. m. week days.
Saturday only, Erie and Wyoming
arrives at 3.45 p. m. and leaves at
5.50 p. m.
Sunday trains leve 2.48 and ar
rive at 7.02.
NOTICE OF ADMINISTRATION,
ESTATE OF
SARAH A. WILSON.
Late of lloncsdnlc, Wayne Co., Pa.
All persons Indebted to said estate are noti
fied to make immediate payment to the un
dersigned : and those having claims against
the said estate arc notlllcd to present them
duly attested for settlement.
J.ADAM KRAFT,
Kxecutor.
Iloncsdale. Pa.. Jan. 17 1911.
and dark, and dreary.
wind is never weary."
1911
HONESDALE BRANCH
P.M.
A.M
1. M.l
SUN
10 60
8 05
A.M.
SUN
2 00
12 40
10 60
8 45
3 63
7 31
7 32
7 31
732
A.M
r.M
10 20
4 05
3 15
7 15
6 20
2 25
1 35
P.M.
10 03
937
Ar
A.M
P.M
P.M,
P.M.
P.M.
8 05
1 35
1 25
6 40
6 30
1217
12 07
8 29
8 17
8 13
64
7 47
7 41
!3
7 30
7 as
7 a
I?
7 64
7 60
7 33
725
7 19
7 17
7 12
7 09
7 05
1 21
& 24
12 03
11 44
11 37
1 03
12 66
S 08
& 01
12 fill
S 66
11 31
12 49
4 64
11 ZJ
11 23i
12 43
4 48
4 45
12 40
11 20
11 16
11 12
11 00
12 36
12 32
12 29
12 25
4 41
7 01
4 37
6 68
6 65
4 34
4 40
11 061
LvlA.M,
P,M,
P.M,
A.MJ
P.M.