THE CITIZli.N, FItlPAY, JANUAUV 2?, if)H.
TAMING A
SHREW
It Was Tried nt Sen and
Was Not Successful
By EVAN D. BALDWIN
Copyright by American Press Asso
ciation, 1911.
Uow Jack Stoughton enmo to fall lu
Ioto with Emily Guntcr no one could
cve'r find out. Jack was a fine, maul
young snllor, and whenever he ciiiuj
homo from n voyage all the girls nuiil
a dead set for him. Kmlly wa tuc
only girl in the village who paid 11
attention to him. Perhaps he wa
piqued on that account Kmlly w;i:
lairly good looking, though she had i
square Jaw and the corners of her lips
were drawn down, denoting n strong
will.
On one of his homecoming) Jud.
sidled nil to Umily either from piqu
or curiosity or a little of both, am
they were seen walking together o ,
the beach or sitting on the dune
Their friends observed that Iimii,
usunlly had a scowl on her face a;: .
Jack seemed to he trying to get hrr
Into a good humor.
"What do you want with that glr.
Jack?" one of his messmates who wa
ashriiv with him said to him one day
"She seems to be continually quarrel
ing with you. You're the best natmvd
man in our ship, so I know it's no
fault of yours. If you marry he
you'll get a wasp, take my word for
that."
"I know you're right, Billy, but
somehow there's a fascination in being
treated us if she didn't care a rap for
me and being hammered by her. The
nearest I ever came before to an In
fatuation was by a little Mexican girl
at Vera Cruz who tried to stab me.
Singular, isn't it, how wo men find a
rest in that kind of women?"
"I can understand that so long as
you're not married to one of 'em. But
you Just put your neck in a halter and
give Emily Gunter the loose end and
she'll make it hot 'for you all your
warrlcd life."
"There was retruchio, who tamed a
shrew"
"Petruchio liu hanged! All imaginary!
No man ever tamed a shrew. You can
tamo that kind of man, but not that
kind of woman."
But Jack Stoughton was too Intent
upon tampering with gunpowder to
faced his friend's advice. Shortly be
fore they sailed he told Billy he had
married Kmlly, that she seemed very
amiablo nnd that she was so averse to
parting with him that she was bent on
taking the voyage with him.
The Albatross, In which they wore
to go to Japan and return, was com
manded by Captain Larklns. Billy
Anderson was first mate, and Jack
was second mate. Kinlly went to Cap
tain Larkins and induced him to let
her go on the voyage with them. He
had never seen her before and thought
a woman on board would have a refin
ing influence on the crew. lie had
given his consent before Anderson
told him what kind of woman Mrs.
Stoughton was; but, having given It.
he would not withdraw it.
The lady was very pleasant till the
ship was well on her way Indeed, too
far out to warrant a return then she
began to belabor her husband In no
uncertain tones. What the trouble
was no one knew, but Mrs. Stoughton's
toIcc could be heard in her stateroom
ren in stormy weather above the
whistling of the wind in the rigging.
It was not long before poor Jack
was an object of pity on the part of
the crew, and not a man but con
demned his wife. The captain finally
went to Mrs. Stoughton and besought
hnr to let up on Jack, but got such n
berating himself that he was glad to
beat n retreat.
It is surprising that Captain Larklns.
who had some twenty men under him.
not one of whom dared to give him the
least back talk, should have been driv
en from the nfter cabin nnd up on to
the poop deck by n woman. The day
this occurred and it had been discov
ered that Mrs. Stoughton was virtually
in command of the ship each one of
the crew went about his duties as if
something momentous had happened
They had most of them been at se t
for years, they had encountered liurrl
eanes, some had lived for days on n
raft without food or water, some had
been cast upon desert lands, but mine
f them had ever passed through at
experience like this. Their captain
whom they respected and feared, lint'
been downed. They were as much
taken aback as If their rudder had
been put out of commission.
The captain had become a dlfforem
nan. lie walked the deck with a
iiangdog look. He gave his orders In
i humble tone, as if ho would bo much
mllged if the men should obey their
md the men themselves did their dn
Jes languidly, as if some misfortune
lung over the ship. Only ouo man
Tack Stoughton, seemed to have been
mproved by the incident. Before ft
iccurred ho had the demeanor of n
whipped cur: now ho went about as If
10 felt himself as good a man as any
iborlrd.
The crow, sympathizing with theli
aptain and one another in the pres
mco of a strange misfortune, between
matches consulted as to means of re
ief. "What's the matter with ye, ye lub
ienV said Tom Billings, a married
nan. "There's 'usbands as lives their
rhole lives with squalls 'angln' over
era all the time, and yet you duffers
is knocked flat by one 'oomnn to n hull
ship. Stoughton 'nsn't got used to it
yet, but ho will. 1 got used to It long
ago. My old 'oomnn's a corker. When
sho's mad ye'd think the thunder was
a-rollln. When 1 see ouo o' them
storms n-comin' I've 1'arneil to talie In
all sail, batten down the 'atclies and
let tho storm blow Itself out. Then
there's a dead calm for a spell, and a
fair breeze toilers."
BillhigH, an experienced man, talked
lo those without any experience what
ever. To he out on a trackless ocean
dismasted was one tiling there was
still discipline but to be there with
the captain and all hands subdued by
one who had never studied navigation
and couldn't make an observation was
another. The first would be In the
Hue of a sailor's life; tho second there
was no precedent for. Something
must bo done. One proposition nfler
another was made, discussed and dis
carded. Finally Dick Smalls, one of
tho younger members of the crew,
spoke up:
"It's plain that Mrs. Stoughton lias
mutinied nnd took the ship. I don't
see that there Is anything for us to do
but mutiny ngin the new matiter and
take the ship ourselves."
"That's all worry well, mates," put
In Tom Billings, "perwidln' you can
get rid o' the 'ooman. But after ye
got the ship what ye goln' to do with
her? Hain't she still lu command?
That's my experience."
Tills was a poser, especially as the
crew, nearly all of whom were single
men, had great respect for Tom Bil
lings' opinion on anything concerning '
the opposite sex. j
"It seems to me, mates," continued
Billings, "that ye'ro up agin a want
o knowledge o n-vigatln' tho female
craft. All ye got to do Is to put 'em
afore tho wind nnd let 'cm scud. Ye
can't steer 'em, and if ye try ye'll sure
come to grief. But I knows there
hain't no use o' talkin' to you. You're
bound to i tin this here business yor
own way, so yo can count mo out."
With thnt he went on deck.
The next day the mutiny plan was
carried out The men, except Stough
ton, who was not consulted, marched
aft in a body nnd demanded the per
son of the " 'ooman as has took tills
ship." The captain made a pretense
of resistance, confining himself to
words iustead of acts, then told them
that, being powerless in face of a
united crew, they could do what they
liked with the woman.
A round robin of four men was ap
pointed to take Mrs. Stoughtou down
into the hold and turn her adrift,
where she would have plenty of room
to walk back atid forth like a caged
lioness. They put bedding down witli
her, and it was understood that her
meals should be let down to her regu
larly. "Did ye obsarve the look on her face,
mates?" remarked Billings after the
woman had been safely put away.
"When they looks that way It means
the weather glass is a-goln' down like
lead."
Three days passed without any trou
blo so far as tho prisoner was con
cerned. From the moment she was
put below the accustomed cheerfulness
came back to the crew, enhanced by
contrast with their late condition. But
on the fourth day when the captain
was standing on the poop deck nnd n
largo sea rolled under the vessel he
noticed that she didn't rise with her
accustomed buoyancy. Billings was
stuuding by nt the time.
"What's the matter with her?"
growled tho captain to himself.
"It's my opinion, sir," suld Billings,
putting his knuckles to his cap, "that
there's some'pln In the cargo as don't
belong there."
What do you mean?" asked the
captain anxiously.
"Tho 'ooman."
"Well?"
"When she was put in the hold 1
was wonderin' what she'd do, so I've
kept my blinkers open. The ship's
drawln' more water, sir, than she did
three days ago."
"You mean"
"She scuttled."
The captain made a dive for the
companionway, calling on Billings to
follow. Entering the hold, they found
four feet of water. The point of leak
age was covered so that they could not
see It, but they found some of tho
carpenter's tools of which Mrs.
Stoughton had possessed herself. All
hands were called to man tho pumps.
and when the water had been removed
a large auger holo was discovered a
few feet above tho keel.
Tho hole having been plugged, the
captain ordered Mrs. Stoughton locked
in her own cabin, then called tho crew
aft and asked for suggestions as to
what to do with her. Every man Jack
of them looked at Billings, so the cap
tain asked for his ndvice.
"There's Just two ways o' managiu'
'oomen, sir," said the old salt. "The
first Is to git away from 'em, tho sec
ond to let 'em have their own way. I
can only Judge by my own experience.
Attcr I was married I observed that to
keep tho family peace I'd got to knuc
kle under. Thero Is 'ushands as Is
'ead o the 'ouse, but this Is where tho
'ooman 'nsn't the usual female grit.
Them as lets their wives command tho
famhly ship gits on Just as well as
nny of 'em. Some un's got to bo boss,
and if the 'ooman has the domlnntln'
faculty In her why not?"
Thc nnnlnln ilnli1pil thnt Mrs
Stoughton should have the free run of
tho ship for that voyage, after which
no woman was to be permitted nboard.
So he Issued orders to that effect, and
Mrs, Stoughton was not again inter
fered with from that moment until the
vessel reached port.
Strange to say, having conquered.
the lady made herself quite agreeable,
and when she left the ship half the
crew felt a heartslckness they had nor
er felt bAfom.
A WILY OLD BIRD.
Fooled a Hunter Several Years and
Went Scot Free.
"For three successive Beunn,"
sa.-s a writer in Hecreatlon "a
friend of mine stantd an old o k
grouse on a amn'l hillside co.red
with sapling pines. Invariably tile
bi.d ran ahead of the dog, rose out
of cunslio' on the fi rther side and
vanished over tho hilltop.
""ryoml tho hill were only two
or thiee blta of cover whero ho could
h'le. and those my friend most i-vc-fnt'v
threshed out." It wi.s nu if 'ho
b'rl had vanished Into the upper air.
"One day late in the season, after
a repetition of this disheartening ex
perience, my friend returned to the
h'.ll'op and took sober counspl with
hlmnelf. Tho bird was somewhere,
p- nhahly not far away.
'If not in the covers, where? Three
tcraggl.v pines, half dead and haro
of foliage nt wide intervals, dotted
thf slope before him. Wildly improb
nb'e as It seemed he became con
vinced that the bird had taken refuge
In ore of them.
"Down the slope he went again
ami after a patient search detected
the wily old bird calmly seated on
tl e wreck of a crow's nest at tho top
of one of the trees in apparent en
Joynent of n trick well played. Nood
le to say my friend, in wondering
admiration of the bird's sagacity, left
hi-r. to his well earned liberty "
Large Families In Ireland.
To have a large family in Ireland
is always looked upon as a special
marl: of the I)ivipj blessing, and in
cor nectlon therewith -Mr. Robin.-on
tel'.s a good story. He was dining
om e at a house in Tipperary when a
ca .1 was brought in by the butler and
sc-i t round the table.
A tramp had two children in a
pp- .imhulator, with seven others
roiind lilm, at the door. He was look
inp for help and this was his modus
' loramil. He called at each gent'o
li.r.p's house and the card with tho
following Inscription was handed in:
'iear Friends: Having obeyed the
Divine command to Increase and
multiply I am unable to support my
already too large family. Your kind
aid and assistance will be welcomed.
Truly yours.
PATRICK KEKNAX.
This ingenious man always got
help. Westminster Gazette.
Municipal Golf Links.
A number of cities in Great Britain
havo provided or taken over golf links
for public use, among these being
Brighton and Nottingham, one course
each; London, Troon and Boure
mouth. two each; Glasgow, Hull and
Edinburgh, ton. Bradford is consid
ering taking over a course now pri
vately owned, and Liverpool and
Manchester are said to bo arranging
for municipal links. Each of tho
cities mentioned receives from tho
links an income slightly more than
tho expenditure. The cost of laying
out was: Bournemouth, $22,000;
Brighton, $5,000; Glasgow, $r,CC;
Tioon, $10,G00. Certain of the in
comes and expenditures were as fol
lows: Bournemouth, $15,412, S14,
429: Glasgow. ?G,518. ?4,825; Troon,
?4.f.!)4,?4, 477. Municipal Journal.
A Flying Frog.
In Java and some other places Is
a remarkable flying tree frog, with
a green back, a white belly and a
bright orange colored membrane be
tween its toes, which are tipped by
circular discs.
Like the chameleon, it can change
Its color to suit its surroundings. It
feeds at night on insects, and when
disturbed leaps out of the tree and
sails away to 6afoty. Some observers
call It a frog, while others say it is a
tree toad.
The membrane between the toe3
probably acts as a parachute, and not
as a flying apparatus. The toe discs,
like similar enlargements on our com
mon tree toad, must act like suckers
to hold the animal firmly in place
against the trunk or the limb. St.
Nicholas.
National Library Connection.
To-day the collection in the Nation
al library, in Washington City, com
prises nearly 2,500,000 items 1,500,
000 printed books and pamphlets and
nearly one million other articles
(manuscripts, maps, prints and music)
by all means the largest collection
of the western hemisphere, nnd per
haps the third largest in the world.
They are Increasing at tho rate of
about seventy thousand books and
pamphlets and fifty thousand other
articles yearly.
The Golden Age.
What Itousseau, under the name of
the state of nature, and the old poets
by tho title of tho golden age, place
behind us, lies actually beforo us. It
Is a phenomenon of frequent occur
rence, particularly in past ages, that
what wo shall become is pictured by
something which we already havo
been; and that we have to obtain Is
represented as something which we
have formerly lost. Flchte.
Money for Science.
According to Science, the Berlin
Academy of Sciences has received
a legacy of 30.000,000 marks (about
$7,500,000), being the entire fortuno
of a millionaire named Samson, a
Berlin banker, who recently died
childless at Brussels.
British Land Surface.
Supposing the whole population of
Great Britain stood at equal distance
from one another all over the land
surface of Great Britain, each would
be 86 yards from his next neighbors.
Queered Hit Grandfallisr.
Peter Augustus had it Kic.ih. fond
old grandfather. The gru-idut !j. r vi
boasting to a visitor one day, iv g nnd
fathers will, about the fi.inib lu- li.nl
raised.
"My daughter Martha h -i line .oiing
woman," lie said, "and h-r Utile hoy.
Peter Augustus, is a line md. But the
finest thing about that prlr U the i.f
fectlon that exist-i between them
They never eitohange a cross word.
They're more like two young lovor
thun mother and son. U's beautiful
to see them together. Hold on a min
ute, and I'll call Peter Augustus In.
Then his mother will com., down, and
you can see their relations for vow
self." The old man rose and ambled heavily
to the door. There was a beatific smile
on his old face. Little Peter Augustus
vns playing with the cut in the gar-
lcn.
"Peter Augustus!" lie shouted, "l'e
ter Augustus! Your mother wants
you!"
Tho little boy dropped the cat and
fixed a searching glance on his grand
father.
"Your mother wants vou. Peter Au
gustus!" "Does she want to warm me?" Pe
ter Augustus cautiously demanded.
Really Worth While.
Ebeu Tratt of Marshby had sent two
sons to Boston nnd know he had rea
son to bo proud of them. One day a
summer visitor lingering in Mr. Pratt's
grocery, provision and dry goods es
tablishment mentioned some of the
shining lights who had made them
selves remembered In nnd near Boston
and others still to be found there.
"We've had a good many smnrt men
and women in and around our city.1'
said the visitor, "and there arc a num
ber of them left. We've got scientific
men nnd writers and artists and musi
clans and"
Mr. Pratt's dry voice broke in on tho
1st "If ye call those folks smart."
he said, "ye want to go down near
the water to un address I'll give ye
and see the way my hoys, Ed and
Sam, can open oysters! I guess that'll
give ye something to go by when ye're
talking of smartness." Exchange.
Willing to Bo Honest.
Phil May, the great English artist,
earned his first fame in Australia. One
day a brokeu down minister applied to
him for charity, and May engaged him
as a model. As a Joke he also demand
ed that his eighty-year-old pensioner
agree to leave him his skeleton when
lie died. When May left Australia he
called his model in. "You've playel
nio a dirty trick," said May. "by swin
dling me out of thnt skeleton. I could
have bought one in sound order and
condition for half the money you've
cost me." The old follow, conscious of
his base ingratitude to his best nud
most patient friend, answered: "Don't
lie angry with me. Mr. May. It's not
my fault. I meant to keep my word
Stay in Sydney n few months loiv-'er
nnd give, me another chance to show
you that I am a man of honor."
Redhot Plays.
"it is a tremendous undertaking to
get a new play accepted and prodiv
ed." once said the late Clyde Fitch to
a friend. "Ho many are written, and
so few over see the light of day. An
English playwright witli a gift of hu
morons exaggeration illustrated this
fact to me once. He told mo how he
submitted a play to a celebrated nc
tor and how In the course of the con
versation tlie actor remarked:
" 'Don't you think It is growing
chilly in tills room?'
" 'Yes; it is rather,' tho young play
wrlght admitted.
"Then the actor rang a bell, nnd a
servant forthwith nppcared.
" 'James.' said tlje actor, 'this room
is rather cold. You may put three
more manuscripts on the fire. " Lip
pincott's. A Jiffy.
Tommy (who lias been told to go to
bed) Pa, how long is "a Jiffy?"
Father It's just nbout the length of
time you've got to go to bed without
a licking. Boston Transcript.
Tho Last Dance.
He May I ask you for a dance?
She Certainly, the last one on the
list.
lie-But I'll not ho here then.
She-Nclther will I.
Had the Appearance.
Mistress (proudly) - My husband.
Bridget, is n colonel In the militia.
Bridget-I thought as much, ma'am.
Sure, it's th' folne malicious look hn
has. ma'am St. Louis Times.
A Woman Wants
The Home Paper
MAKE HER
HAPPY BY TAKING
IT THE YEAR ROUND
Do you remember?
Those summer days will soon have
como once more,
And you'll forget how bitterly you
sworo
At all tho winter weather gone be
fore. Will you remember.
When you are sweltering in mid
July, The flakes, frost-feathered, that were
wont to fly
From out the windy' reaches of the
sky,
This past December?
Meantime, if you should die and you
should get
Your just desserts, with O! what
vain regret,
These winter days (because they're
cold and wet)
You will rpmpmber!
He To-morrow, darling, is our
wedding day.
She Yes, and It's bargain day at
Silkman's, too. Isn't it just too ag
gravating? Boston Transcript.
I9II
Special
Menner $k Co.
Will close out Winter Goods
in all their fladeup Stock.
Ladies3 Tailored Suits, Fur Coats,
RIuSfs and Collars, Long Heavy Coats
in black and colors, Separate Skirts,
Ladies and Swisses Bath Robes.
A genuine reduction on regular prices.
An annual opportunity that you will be wise
to take advantage of.
EPggtER & CO.
Tho Kind You Havo Always
in use lor over SO years,
and
bffij-tfLj, Sonal supervision since its infancy.
5 teccAwZ Allow no ono to deceive you in tills.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and " Just-as-good " are hut
Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of
Infants and Children Experience against Experiment
What is CASTORIA
Castorla is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its ago is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Foverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Dowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
The Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
GENUINE
Bears tho
The KM You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
THC OCNT.UH COMPANY, TT UU.MV TRCET, NtW YORK CITY.
D. & h. CO. tlHE TABLE
A..M.I
SUN
A..M.
l'.M,
SUN
8 30
Iff U0
10 00
4 30
... Albany ....
i Hliiglmmton .
10 00
G 05
A.J .
10 00
2 15
12 30
a 30
2 15
. Philadelphia.
1 20
2 OS
7 25
fc 15
4 40
5 30
1 20
2 OS
7 io
.WIlkes-Barre.
....Scranton...,
7 65
P.M.
A.M.
P.M.
P.M,
A.M.1
5 40
S GO
9 05
9 15
9 1U
9 3C
9 42
9 4H
G 20
6 30
2 05
2 15
2 19
2 37
2 43
2 49
2 52!
2 67
2 69
3 0.1
3 07
3 10
3 15
8 45
8 65
Carbondalt
..Lincoln Avenue..
Whites
Farvlew
...... Canaan
... Lake Lodore ....
... . Wnymnrt
, Keene
Steene
..... Prompt on......
, Fortenla,
, Seelyvllle,
.... Honeedale
5 &1
6 11
ti 34
H 69
6 62
6 6!
9 18
6 17
6 23
6 26
6 32
9 24
7 04
9 29
9 32
9 01
707
7 13
7 10
7 20
9 57
10 00
10 01
10 OH
9 3
6 361
9 39
9 43
6
6 43
H 4
7 21
U 47
10 n
7 27
7 31
9 50
9 65
BM
W 15
P.M. A,M.
P.M. P.M. A.M. Ar
ft We wish to secure a good
correspondent in every town
in Wayne county. Don't be
afraid to write this office for
paper and stamped envelops.
EKIE TKAINB.
Trains leave Union depot at 8.25
a. ni. and 2.48 p. m week days.
Trains arrive Union depot at l.tO
and 8.05 p. m. week days.
Saturdny only, Erie and Wyoming
arrives at 3.45 p. m. and leuvo3 at
5.50 p. m.
Sunday trains lcvo 2.48 and ar
rive at 7.02.
VOTICE OF ADMINISTRATION,
1' KSTATE OF
, , SARAH A. WILSON.
Late of Honesdale. Wiiyno Co., Pa.
All persons indebted to said C9tate are noti
fied to make immediate payment to the un
dersigned : and those having claims against
the said e? tnte arc notified to present them
duly attested for settlement.
J. ADAM KRAFT,
lloncsdale. Pa.. Jan. 17 1911.'XeCU,r"
1911
Bought, and -which has been
has borne tho signature of
has been mado under his per-
ALWAYS
Signature of
HONESDALE BRANCH
P.M.
A.M.
A.M.
SUN
UN
2 00
12 40
10 50
8 45
10 50
8 45
3 531
7 31
7 32
P.M.
7 31
732
A.M
10 20
9 37
4 05
3 15
7 15
6 20
2 25
P.M.
10 OS
1 35
Arl
A.M.
P.M.
P.M,
P.M.
P.M.
82S
8 17
8 13
64
47
7 41
7 30
72
7 21
7 U
7 U
8 05
1 35
1 25
5 40
12 17
12 07
12 03
11 41
11 37
7 54
6 30
7 60
7 33
7 25
7 19
1 21
6 24
1 03
12 60
6 08
5 01
6 66
4 64
4 48
4 45
12 fi
11 31
7 17
12 49
12 43
12 40
12 36
11 29
11 23
7 12
7 09
7 05
11 20
11 16j
4 41
7 01
12 32
12 29
12 25
4 37
11 12
11 OS
6 68
6 65
4 34
1 401
11051
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