THE CITIZEN", Fill DA Y( JUNK 21, 1010.
A CHAT WITH
OUR NEIGi
LAKEVILLE.
Children' Sunday Lodge Officers
Installed Loral Doings.
Sirs. Sarah Kimble of Hawley is the
Kiipst of lior daughter, Mr?. Charles
Lockiiu, this week.
Edward J. Smith returned to his homo
in New York Saturday, after spending
a time at the "Keusamont" with Mr.
and Mrs. A. Goble,
Dora Woodward of Hoadleya is visit
ing her grandparents, Mr. and Mrs.
Merit Moslier, also her uncle and aunt,
Mr. and Mrs. J. Carefoot.
Mrs. L. Cohen left Friday to visit in
New York until July 1.
Dolph Hecker and Lewis l'rice of
Petersburg were Ushers at Long Pond
last week.
Miss Kutherine Daniels returned Mon
day from an extended visit with rela
tives at Pittston, accompanied by her
cousin, Miss Melva Hosher.
The Children's day exercises at this
place lait Sunday were excellent. A
number from Arlington and adjoining
towns were present.
Mrs. D. A. Smith and little son Aiex
are the guests of her parents, Mr. ana'
Mr. TfavPtt James.
Mrs. William Seegar, we much regret
to say, is suffering severely from nervous
prostration
On June 15 D. P. Elanor Gill of Hav
ley installed the otlicers of Hildegard
Lodge of this place.
Mr. and Mrs. George Heidlebeck
were the guests of the latter's par
ents, Mi. and Mrs. Peter Daniels,
recently.
Starbert Tresslar of Ariel was
entertained at the Lake View house
Sunday.
Mr. and Mrs. L. Hensel were call
ers here Monday, enroute to Salem.
Messrs. Delbert Brannlng and
Samuel James were the guests of
Lafayette James Saturday. They
spent the day fishing in Locklln's
lake.
CLINTON.
Storm Sonked Cemetery Grounds
Children's Dny Was Good.
New windows have been placed In
the church.
A small number of persons gath
ered Saturday afternoon for the
purchase of lots In the cemetery.
The extra heavy storm raging at the
time prevented many from attend
ing. The water fall at the time was
greater than it has been In 30 years.
The cultivated ground was saturated
so teams could not work the ground.
S. Snedlker had three head of
cattle killed by lightning.
John Grlswold has rebuilt his
barn. He recently visited his sis
ter, Mrs. J. Smith of Jackson, who
is seriously sick.
Myron Norton Is improving his
house by the addition of a porch.
His son, Warren P. Norton, Is home
for his summer vacation.
Mrs. H. M. Bunting spent the
past week with her daughter in
Waymart. ' 1
Mrs. F. E. Loomis and family and
Mrs. Laura Loomis were guests over i
Sunday of Beach Lake relatives.
Mrs. F. V. Cramer and daughters,
Sally and Billie. of Seattle, Wash...
and Mrs. J. Wilkes of Scranton were
recent guests of their cousin, Mrs.
C. n. Bunting. j
Mrs. Martha Ogden and Mrs.
Sarah McMullen of Prompton are
visiting friends in this vicinity. I
The Children's day exercises of,
both the Clinton Centre ana uurtis,
Valley Sunday schools passed off with
credit to those who took part and
with pleasure to those who listened. (
B RAMAN AND KELLAM.
To Get Money For Pastor's Salary
Hot Weather Personals.
The warm weather we aro having
Is more favorable and encouraging
to the farmers
There will be a
Fourth at Braman
picnic on the '
church. The
proceeds are to be applied on tho ,
minister's salary. Everyone should
come. There will be plenty to eat,
as usual.
Mr. and Mrs. D. M. Stalker and
daughter and Emma Stalker attend
ed church at Hamlin last Sunday.
Mrs. Harper Keys returned home
last week, having spent some time
with her parents In Deposit.
Mr. nnd Mrs. James Terrel from
Galilee called on relatives here last
Sunday.
Nicholas Kelly's house Is progress
ing rapidly.
D. M. Stalker Is attending court
In Honesdalo this week, having been
drawn on the Jury.
HAMLIN.
HookloveiV Club Meets Children's
Day Sunday Coining and Going.
Tho Booklovers' club mot Friday
afternoon with Mrs. Inez Curtis. A
goodly number of members wero
present and all enjoyed a pleasant
afternoon.
Frank Sprunance of Philadelphia
spent Sunday with Dr. McKee.
Miss Mabel Hansel and two sis
ters of Mooslc spent Sunday at J, W.
O3borne's.
. ' J . E. . ! irch will hold Chil
dren's day sen Ices Sunday evening.
oeiikth arc conducted every Sun
day evening at S o'clock In the Pres
byterian church by Kev. Edward I.
Campbell. There are also services
at the same hour In the Episcopal
church In charge of Hew Bltnkenst
tlorfer. With such exceptional
church privileges during the sum
mer months, there ought to bo few
to remain at home.
Elba Alt returned home Saturday,
after attending the spring term of
the Stroudsburg Normal school.
Marlon Boyce Is home from Wyo-,
ming seminary for the summer va
cation. W. A. Alt has gone to Dig Pond.'
Mr. and Mrs. C. R. Spangenburg '
are summering at Bidwell Pond.
Arthur Becker entertained the
women at a rag bee Tuesilay after- I
noon.
GOULDSBORO.
Women of Methodist Clmrrh A-Quilt-Ing
Luther League.
Mrs. M. A. Adams of Glen Falls,
X. Y., Is the guest of her slster-ln-law,
Mrs. S. A. Adams.
The Ladles' Aid will meet every
Wednesday to quilt In the basement
of the Methodist church, except the
first Wednesday of the month.
Mr. and Mrs. Otto Hoffman and
daughter, Kathleen, are spending
some time in Cresco.
The Luther league met Tuesday
evening at the home of Miss Carrie
Davidson.
Miss Pari Cobb Is home from
Stroudsburg, where she spent some
time with relatives.
MILANVILLE.
Down Delaware cm Houseboat En-
tei'tninincnt n Sticces' Notes.
Miss Stump, who has been visit-1
ing Miss Gladys McCullough, return
ed to Flushing, L. I., Monday.
Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Tyler spent
Sunday at Kenoza Lake, X. Y.
Louis Hacker, who has been at
tending the West Chester Normal
school, came heme Saturday.
Mrs. Sellm -more of Matamor
as was recently the guest of Mrs.
Abigail Illman.
Miss Gladys McCullough return
ed to New York Tuesday.
Mrs. H. M. Page is improving
very slowly.
Mr. and Mrs. Barnett and two
children arrived Monday to spend
the summer at their bungalow.
Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Gregg and
Mr. and Mrs. Corwln Venentina of
Damascus started on a house boat
Friday down the Delaware. The
party expect to go to Delaware Wa
ter Gap.
Mr. and Mrs. F. .7. Fremer are
entertaining the latter's sister, with
her husband, T. J. Fromer of Par
ker, S. D.
Miss Gertrude Calkins has return
ed from Port Jervis, N. Y. i
' Supervisor Tyler has finished the
roads In this vicinity and they are,
in very satisfactory shape. I
Kingsley McCullough of Bingham- i
ton. N. Y., is here on his vacation, i
The entertainment and ice cream
festival Tuesday evening was well I
patronized.
Mr. and Mrs. W. J. LaRue of Syr-
acuse, N. Y., are visiting the form
er's mother, Mrs. John Shrewd.
USWICK & LAKEVILLE.
.Methodists Have Children's Day
Storm Knocks Out Telephones
Rebekahs Installed.
Tll0 children's day exercises at
tne M E- church Sunday were very
,,oct considering the short time tho
children had for rehearsal. The
church was beautifully decorated
wit flowers. There was a large
congregation, jiany were unable to
onter the church.
The telephones at Uswick wero
put out of service by the severo elec-
tho barrel plnced out8ldo t0 catch
the ralnwatpr at S. It. Crane's, tore
off tho hoops, and spilled all the wn-
tftl atrnplr tlm frntn.inut nml .lit
lhe w,ro fence ,n on(J Qr U.Q ,
,, ,..,,, Mlo rnm, , EOvnrn1
and plowed tho ground in several
plncos near Mr. Crane's home.
Mrs. Daniel Jennings returned to
her homo Thursday of last week.
She has been caring for her daugh
ter, Mrs. Alva Masker of Uswick,
who has a fine baby girl two weeks
old.
D. H. Swingle and family of
Ariel, also Mrs. Hobbs of Scranton,
came to visit their sister, Mrs. John
Mains, last week. Mr. Swingle and
family soon returned but Mrs,
Hobbs remained until Friday.
Peter Daniels 'was hurt recently.
We have not yet learned the partic
ulars. Mrs, Purklss, also Mrs. Seegar of
Lakevllle, are both quite sick. It
is learned they are on tho verge of
nervoiiB prostration.
Mrs. Haas and daughter Mary of
New York arrived at Mr. Sch'.eup
ner's at Uswick lhla weok.
Mrs, Kate Daniels has returned
home after a two weeks' sojourn
with her a,unt, Mrs. Hosier, In Pit,tB
ton. Miss Eleanor GUI, D. D. P., was
at Lakevllle Wednesday evening and
Installed the officers of Hildagard
RebekoU lodge, No. 359, I. O. O. F.
The following olllcers were Installed:
P. 0., Mrs. Sarah Pennell; N. 0.,
Mrs. Ethel Daulelsi V. 0., Miss Mln
1 :s Locklln; financial secretary.
Mi. Delia Gobley; ehnplaln, Mrs.
Jeter Osborne; O. 0., Frank Buek
l'.:g!inn.; I .0., Hazel James; warden,
' cr.v Schr.ador; conductor, (. lcdy.
Pet:nr-!l; U. S. V. O., Chrlstetia
Glcsenger; L. S. V. G., Jennie Crane
Only Wanted Hit Consent.
. Ho wns well dressed and breezy, and
fhcn ho entered the private offlce of
the great tea merchant he looked ca
pable of doing anything from selling
hooks to writing up Insurance.
"I have come, sir." he announced
without hesitation, "to get your con
Bent" "
"Consent for what?" demanded the
old man without looking up.
"Well er you xee. your daughter"
"Oh, I understand now. So you like
my daughter, eh 7"
"I think she is the finest young wo
man I have met In many moons. Ah
I was saying. If you'll give your con
sent she will have the handsomest"
"Come, come! Don't get vain aud.
say she'll have the finest husband If
she accepts you."
"I'm married, sir. I'm trying to tell
you that If you give your consent she'll
have the handsomest auto runabout In
town. She's dead stuck on It, and if
you'll consent and put up $1,000 cash
wo will"
But the great tea merchant had col
lapsed. Chicago News.
A Selfish Proposition.
A gentleman, resident nt Harrow,
made frequent complaints to the mas
ters of the great school there of his
garden being stripped of Its fruit, even
before It became ripe, but to no pur
pose. Tired of applying to the masters for
redress, he at length appealed to the
boys, and. sending for one to his
house, ho said: "Now, my good fellow,
I'll make this agreement with you and
your companions Let the fruit re
main on the trees till it becomes ripe,
nnd I promise to give you half."
The boy coolly replied, "I can say
nothing to the proposition, sir, myself, ,
but will make It known to the rest of
the boys and Inform you of their do- i
clslou tomorrow."
Next day came and brought with It
this reply: "The gentlemen of narrow
cannot agree to receive so unequal a
share, since Mr. Is an Individual
and we are many." London Sketch.
Our Elastic Globe.
Nothing seems more rij,;d than the
crust of the earth, but scientific men
tell us that it bonds and buckles ap
preciably under the pull of the heaven
ly bodies. Careful observation has
also shown that the shores on opposite
sides of n tidal basin approach each
other at high tide. The weight of
water In tho Irish sea. for instance, is
so much greater at that time that tho
bed sinks u trifle aud consequently
pulls the Irish aud English coasts
nearer together. The buildings of Liv
erpool nnd Dublin may be fancied as
bowing to each other across the chan
nel, the dellectlon from perpendicular
being about one luuh for every six
teen miles, it has been shown, too,
that ordinary valleys widen uuder the
heat of the sun aud contract again at
night. We live' not on a rigid but ud
elastic globe.
In a Maori Wooing House.
Among tin Maoris sometimes in the
whare matoro (the wooing house), a
building in which the young of both
seses assembled for play, songs,
dances, etc.. there would be at stated
times a meeting. When the fires burn
ed low a girl would stand up In the
dark aud say: "1 love So-and-so. 1
waut him for my husband." If be
coughed (sign of assent) or said "Yes"
It was well; If only dead silence, she
covered her head with her robe and
was ashamed This was not often, as
she generally had managed to ascer
tain either by her own Inquiry or by
sending a girl friend If the proposal
was acceptable. On tho other hand
sometimes a mother would attend and
say, "1 want So-and-sS for my sou."
If not acceptable there was generally
mocking, nnd she was told to let the
young people have their house (the
wooing house) to themselves.
A Curious Will.
Countess Anna Maria Helena dc
Noalllcs, a member of one of tho his
toric families of France, has made a
curious will which has Just been
proved. She left her estate at Meads,
Eastbourne, England, to found "St.
Mary's orphanage," laying down the
following rules for tho education of
tho girls; No competitive examina
tions, no study beforo breakfast, no
study after 0 p. m., all lessons to be
learned In the morning, no girl to
work more than four and n half hours
dally. No arithmetic, except tho mul
tiplication tables for children under
ten. No child with curvature of tho
spine to write more than flvo minutes
a day until thirteen. Each girl must
bo certified by two phrenologists as
not deficient In conscientiousness and
firmness. No child to bo vaccinated.
Malayan Tree Dwellers,
The Sakals, or tree dwellers, of the
Malay peninsula build their houses In
forked trees n dozen feet above ground
and reach them by means of bamboo
ladders, which they draw up when
safely housed out of barm's way. Tho
house Itself Is a rude kind of shack
made of bamboo, and the flooring is
lashed together piece by piece and
bound securely to tho tree limbs by
rattan. These curious people are rath
er small and lighter la complexion
than the Malays, though much uglier.
They havo no form of religion at ail
not even Idols no written language
and speak a corrupt form of Malay.
Champion, Who Ran Ainuck.
Gets Off Easy,
WON'T DELAY START FOR RENO
Negro Prizefighter Will Not Da
Charged With Resisting San Fran
cisco Officer Small Police
Court Fine Probable.
San Francisco, June 23. Jack John
son's sensational defiance of the law
will probably not delay his departure
for Reno, Nev., whore he Is to resume
his training for the Jeffries-Johnson
light ten days hence. It Is understood
that when the negro champion prize
fighter Is arraigned in the police court
today he will escape with a small fine,
owing to the fnot that tho police will
not file a chargo of resisting an officer.
This forgiveness of tho pugilist's out
break Is duo to a deslro not to placo
any additional stumbling blocks In tho
way of the promoters of tho great bat
tle. It was after threatening to kill Of
ficer Lewis, who had arrested him
for fast speeding, that Johnson defied
three policemen by running to his
room and barricading tho door.
It was only after bluecoats broke
Into the npartments they succeeded In
arresting hlui with drawn revolvers.
Jack's final capturo had all earmarks
of melodrama, and a largo crowd ex
pected bloodshed before the affair was
over.
Johnson wns taken to the office oi
Chief of Police Martin, where he was
released on $10 cash ball. Chief Mar-
JACK JOHNSON.
tin squashed tho charge of resisting
and thrashing the officer and simply
fined Johnson for speeding.
Johnson had Just returned down
town In a new racing machine. He
took Al Kaufman with him, nnd he
had only hit high places. Officer Lew
Is lay In wnlt for him, warning him
to stop. Jnck rushed Into Seal Rock
House.
When the officer laid his hand on
the negro's shoulder Johnson shook
him off nnd shouted, "Don't lay your
hand on me or 111 kill you!"
Delaney rushed between tho men, as
ho feared Johnsou's rage, and the
negro then darted Into his own room
nnd barred the door, so that It had to
be broken down. He seemed Insane
with rnge, and Delaney was very nerv
ous until Johnson's temper bad a
chance to cool.
When olllcers at last entered the
room the negro was quietly rending u
book.
Chief Mnrtln, who Is n fight fan,
agreed to Ignore tho charge of resist
ing an officer nnd merely put speeding
on the police blotter against Johnson's
name. If the chief had followed the
usual course Johnson would have to
stand trial on tho charge of resisting
an officer In tho discharge of his duty.
Weather Probabilities.
Generally fair and warm today and
tomorrow; light to moderate winds.
FINANCIAL AND COMMERCIAL.
Closing Stock Quotations,
itoney on call today was 2 por cent;
time money and mercantile paper un
changed In rates. Closing stock quota
tions on tho New York exchange June Ti
were:
Amal. Copper.. OOVi Norf. & West... 101
Atchison US Northwestern ..11854
13. & 0 112 Penn. It. It 133H
Urooklyn It. T.. 79 Heading 15SH
Ches. & Ohio.... 82 Hock Island Hi
C C.. C.&St.L 82 St. Paul 127
D. & II 1C6H Southern Pac... 124ft
Erlo 2SVi (Southern Ity.... SC
Gen. Electric... US South. Ity. pf... 61V4
111. Central 134 Sugar 121
Int-Met 1SH Texas Pacific... Si
Louis. & Nash. 143 Union Pacific. .17444
Manhattan 130'i U. S. Steel 79
Missouri Pac... C7V4 U. S. Steel pf...U8H
N. V. Central... 117 West. Union 64fc
Market Reports.
EGOS Firm; receipts, 23,812 cases; state,
Pennsylvania and nearby, hennery, white,
ia28c; guthered, white, 23a2t)c; hennery,
brown, 23a25c; gathered, brown. 2ta23c;
fresh gathered, extra firsts, 20Ha21Hc;
Drats. lDHaSOc.
CHEESE Firm on top grades; receipts,
8,846 boxes: Btate, whole milk, new, spe
cials, 14U15ia; fancy, small, white, 14c;
fancy, large, white, 14c; fancy, small,
colored, 1414c.; fancy, large, colored, 14Uc;.
average prime, 1334 c: fair to good, UHa
l3Hc: common, lOallKa; skims, special,
lie: fine, Wimc; rair o gooa, inane;
common. Sa7c; full skims, ZHaSUc.
POTATOES New, No. 1. per bbl.. Ha
1.60; No. 2, COaOOc; cults, iOaCOc; old. In
bulk, per ISO lbs., llaLll; per sack, TUUO;
sweets, old, per basket, tOaaJL
HAY AND STItAWT-Steady; timothy,
per hundred, 8Sc.o41.lS; shipping, 75a80c!
tlover, mixed, 60c.aU; clover, WaSOc; long
rye straw, 45aX0c; oat and wheat, 40al2c;
half bales, 2Hc (ess.
MEATS Live veal calves, common to
choice, per 100 lbs., W0a8.7B; culls, (5aG;
live calves, buttermilks, 4.GOa6.26; coun
try dressed veal calves, prime, per lb.,
Utic; common to" good, 7allc; barnyard
calves, 7a9c
would yj :e :t ir:? ,
Thsr Car- a
Re.'fia Parasol.
T7IE NEW SUNSHADE.
Raffia makes our porch cushions this
summer nnd the newest of our para
sols, and a pretty, dainty, light kind of
sunshade It Is, to be sure, one that
will stand any amount of wetting. In
deed, the raffia parasols may bo car
ried tight Into tho surf without damag
ing their beauty or usefulness.
In tho illustration the model la in
natural colored raffia, and the long
fringe Is an attractive finish. Tho han
dle is of brown wood and elaborately
carved. The handlp Is long, as Is the
case on all tho best parasols of the
summer.
To Save Aleott Home.
Efforts are being made to Inaugurate
a movement for the preservation of
the old Alcott homestead In Concord,
Mass.. where Dronson Alcott lived nnd
died and where Louisa Alcott created
the Immortal children that run through
the pages of "Little Men" and "Little
Women." The place at present Is fast
falling Into hopeless decay, and action
must bo started soon If It Is to be pre
served at all. "Perhaps If Miss Alcott
had been dead two centuries, instead
of only about thirty years her former
home would not be In such a dangerous
plight as It Is In today." said a New
York woman who Is trying to Interest
others in Its preservation. "Rut by
and by Miss Alcott will have been
dead '200 years, and If Orchard House
Is not saved now American snll In
future generations will be the poorer
for our neglect. We never shall raise
a harvest of ancient association for
our land unless we take care of the
associations while they still are com
paratively modern."
Useful Trifles.
A small brush, such as is used in a
mucilage bottle, is Just the thing to
remove caked salt from shakers or to
keep the lips of pepper shakers clean.
If you use glass Jars for storage pur
poses and cannot Insure careful han
dling It Is well to protect the edge
with pasted strips of adhesive plaster
unless you do not object to chips of
glass in your food.
For n leftover salad mold cold
spinach in n shallow custard cup, turn
off on hearts of lettuce, sprinkle with
the yoke of hard boiled egg, run
through a vegetable preis and cover
with mayonnaise.
Vegetable salads will be more appe
tizlug if the mayonnaise contains on
ion Juice. Where the taste of onion
Is not liked a flavor can be given by
rubbing the bowl with garlic.
Don't Marry the Man
Who Is selfish. '
Who Is a pessimist.
Who is a spendthrift.
Whose word you cannot rely upon.
Who never works uulcss he has to.
Whose highest ambition is to become
rich.
Who Is uamby patnby, weak and
effeminate.
Who has no sympathy with your
Ideals and aspirations.
Who believes that all courting should
be done before marriage.
Who believes that a woman should
have no interest outside her home.
Who Is unsympathetic, cold and deaf
to any demands outside of business.
Who loses his temper and indulges
in profanity on the slightest provoca
tion. Gardening For Nervousness,
Gardening as a curative pastlmo Is
the newest Idea Introduced, by the I
head of a fashionable sanitarium for
nervous women, and each patieut has
her particular plot to look after. She
is even given tho task of spading up
the grouud and is expected to spend
a certain amount of time dally culti
vating It regardless of the weather.
On clear days, after the garden hour, '
the cntlro force of fair women Is sup-1
posed to turu to and rako and burn !
leaves and fagots and play they are !
amateur farmers. Tho benefit that the
out of doors life aud Interest do to
the nerves Is Incalculable, and tho
novelty of It makes It something to bo
looked forward to.
A Dainty Fragrance.
To impart tho delicate fragrance of
any flower to ono's letters the oil of
any desired flower can bo added to tho
writing fluid. Scent tho blotter and
placo It with the letter paper, but do
not put flower oil or perfume upon
the paper. A package of Invitations
can be scented by keeping them over
night In n closed Jar containing oil of
(lowers on white wool or cotton.
A GOOD DAY FOR WARS.
This Colored Man Was as Non-Corn-mltal
as a Born Diplomat.
Thore was nothing In sight down
the road. Tho major sat tilted against
the wall of tho general store, reading
yesterday's paper. It was a clear,
warm day. Inside tho store tho post
master could bo heard sorting tho
mall, but without everything was still
and peaceful. At last there was a clat
ter and a rattb, and from somewhere
there appeared a negro driving an un
painted wagon drawn by a mulo. Ho
drew up with a loud whoa In front ot
the store.
"Major!" he called.
No response.
"Major! Doan' wan' ter 'sturb yo
major."
No response.
"Major!"
The major heard at last
"Hollo, uncle!" ho said. "What can
I do for you?"
"Doan' wan ter 'sturb yo major,
but is dey any news in de paper?"
"No," said the major, "no, there
Isn't any news to-day. Yes, there Is,
too. There's a war between France
and Morocco."
" 's dat sol" said the negro. " 's
dat so, an' Is dere really a wah, with
flghtln' and blood-killln'7"
"A real war," repeated the major.
"Golly!" said the negro, gathering
up his refns. "Whar did yo' say dat
wah was, major,"
"Morocco" said the major, turning
agnln to the sheet.
"Well," said the colored man, "dey
suttenly has got a fine day for It. Gid
dap!" And he clattered down the
road.
Payment In Advance.
It takes Imagination and courage to
make a squelching reply to a "fresh"
young mac. In this case he was from
out of town, says a writer In Tit-Bits,
and adorned with a big green necktie
and accompanied by his "be3t girl," he
sat down at a restaurant table to or
der a meal. "Walter," he said, when
that Indh.Jual came up, "I want you
to bring me a grilled crocodile."
"Yesslr" replied the waiter, per
fectly unmoved.
"And, waiter, bring It with butter."
"Yesslr."
Then he stood there like a statue
for a minute.
"Well," said the young man, "aren't
you going to bring it?"
"Yesslr "
"Why don't you, then?"
"Orders is, sir, that we get pay In
advance for crocodiles, sir. Crocodiles
with butter, sir, are fifteen hundred
pounds and twopence. If you take It
without butter, sir, It Is only fifteen
hundred pounds, sir."
The waiter did not smile, but the
girl did, and the young man climbed
down.
A Judicial Expert.
The nntlve with a stogie met the
native with a pipe.
"Howdy, Zeb?" quoth the stogie
native. "Hear 'bout th' fuss down to
th' court-house?"
"Nope." drawled tho man with tho
pipe. "What was It about?"
"Why, Jim Simpson has been suing
Abner Hawley for allenatln' th' affec
tions of his wife, an' Jedge Musgrovo
told th' Jury to bring in a vordlck of
six cents damages, 'cause he thought
that was all the damage was worth to
Jim. An Jim's wife got mad an' threw
a chair at the Jedge, an' he had her
arrested an' put in the cooler."
"But didn't th' Jedge go a leetle
too far when he fixed her value so
low?"
"Not at all, not at all. Y" see, ho
was her first husband "
AMONG THE KICKERS.
De Kick The climate Is nlways too
cold or too hot.
De Flat Yes. the temperature
would not he more unsatisfactory If It
wore regulated by a Janitor.
The Right Number, the Wrong Street.
Youthful Shopper (of the Heights)
Please give me a Epool -of, whtto
thread and have It charged.
Salesgirl Seventy Clnrk, I sup
pose?
Youthful Shopper
ry, as usual.
Oh, no, 85 Hen-
Cleaned Out.
Miss Rocksey If you're looking for
a. husband for me, papa, why don't
you Invite to tho house some of your
rich Wall Street friends?
Old Ilocksey When I get through
with them, my dear, they aro not rich.
Why Didn't He?
Ho picked the stranger's pockets, but
the Job was quite a botch,
For he didn't take the tlmo to take his
watch.
Noblesse, Oblige.
People who live in big houses must
throw bluffs.