TUE CITIZEN, WEDN'HSDAV, JUNE 22, 1010.
The Schoolma'am
on
When Ituth Manton, fresh from
tho Langdon Seminary, was appoint'
ed by tho school committee of Hnmp
Btead to teach tho district school of
that tiny vlllago It was patent that
she had little Idea of the strenuous
nesn of tho undertaking. In the first
place, on account of her extreme
youth, she was looked upon with dis
favor by tho village gossips, who open
ly declared that Bhe would not havo
the school n week, and In tho second
place, the reputation of the various
lads and lassies of HampBtcad as in
corrigible mischief makers was
enough to daunt even an experienced
Bchoolma'am.
The youngsters themselves were In
high glee, and looked forward with
anticipation to what they termed tho
"breakln" In" of the new teacher.
"Course," said one young hopeful,
commonly known as "Red" Martin,
"She can't never expect us to mind
her Just tho same as we did old Per
kins" referring to a previous school
master "she's only a girl, and my ma
says a young and flighty one at that."
"Yes, she'll have to be learned that
we ain't goln to stand no nonsense,"
said his bosom friend, Jake Reld, "and
tho sooner we let her know our senti
ments the better."
The first few days of school passed
pleasantly enough for Ruth. If sho
noted the rebellion In Tommy Simp
kin's face when she quietly confiscat
ed tho huge pickled lime he was con
suming, she made no comment, and
sho protended not to notice when sho
caught Jake Reld making faces at her.
She was determined to conquer these
turbulent young spirits, and thus
render false the predictions, not only
of tho village gossips, but of Joe Ham
ilton, a wealthy young farmer, who
was greatly In love with her. Joe,
however, was much given to teasing,
and had made so much fun of the "fu
ture schoolma'am" that she had left
him In a rage, vowing never to speak
to him again. Joe was heartbroken,
but withal determined to make her
take back her words.
On the fourth day of school thero
was great excitement among the class
at recess. Jake Reld, the leader of the
school, had been caught tying Martha
Watson's apron strings to b i chair,
much to the little girl's ai.iioyance,
and when reprimanded by Miss Man
ton, had paid no attention. Ruth com
pletely lost her temper, and catching
up a switch, she flogged the boy before
the whole school.
"Something must be done," said
Jared Slocum, determinedly, "she's
getting too fresh."
"Let's give her a good scare," sug
gested Jake Reld, "something in the
mouse line would do; all girls are
scared to death of mice." A whispered
consultation was then held, and the
time set for giving Ruth her "scare."
When the fatal day arrived, Ruth,
all unconscious of the calamity In
store for her, went about her duties
as usual. It seemed as If her task of
controlling tho class was harder than
usual to-day, and her patience was
sorely tried. She caught Tom Allen
drawing caricatures of her on his
slate, and promptly stood him in tho
corner. "Red" Martin pulled Betty
Hopkins' curls until the little girl
howled for mercy, and another mis
chievous youth was caught reading a
paper-covered book under his geo
graphy. "Timothy Rellly," said the now
thoroughly exasperated teacher, "you
will, please, bring me that book. Jacob
Reld, what are you doing?"
"Throwln' spltballs, ma'am," an
swered Jake, giving a demonstration
of his ability In that line by letting
Tim havo two right behind the ear.
Thero was an audible titter from tho
class.
"Jacob, stand In the corner, with
your face to the wall. John Mead, stop
cutting your Initials In that desk, and
Maria Stebblns, you may throw that
gum in tho waste basket First class
in arithmetic stand up."
At last, the crucial moment had ar
rived. The arithmetic class filed to
the back of the room, while Ruth
walked to her desk to get her arith
metic. A half-suppressed .murmur ran
through the class as she did so. The
arithmetic was kept In the lower right
hand drawer of her desk, and there
was not a child but knew what would
happen when Ruth opened that draw
er. The teacher, however, uncon
scious of Impending danger jerked
open the drawer; thero was a rustle of
paper, a tiny squeak, and then a shrill
scream, and Ruth fell, fainting, to the
floor, as a dark gray object sprang
first into her lap, and then ran nimbly
up to her shoulder.
Poor Ruth I When sho finally came
back to consciousness, she found her
self In. tho arms of Joe Hamilton, who,
as he afterwards explained to her, had
happened to bo passing the school and
heard her scream; and the class was
gathered around the platform with
white, frightened faces. "Oh, Joe,"
she cried, completely forgetting her
recent resolution never to speak
to him again. "I feel bo ashamed,
to think a little mouse could scaro
me like that, but I really was frighten
ed. Those horrid boys, how did they
dare to do such a thing? Ugh," she
Bald, shrugging her pretty shoulders
In disgust. "I'll never teach a district
school again."
And Joe, delighted at the prospects
of a reconciliation with her, generous
ly refrained from twitting her about
her failure; but. Jake Reld, disgusted
beyond measure, was heard to say,
contemptuously, "Huh, I alius knew
she was a soft un." MISS GER
TRUDE DUNN.
CHAIR SLIPS INTO POCKET.
When Folded It Is not Much Btgaer
Than a Fountain Pen.
A chair which folds Into a shape not
much larger than n fountain pen has
Just been designed as a bit of automo
bile accessory, but It will bo also
found useful for many other purposes
and occasions. It Is often desirable
to crowd an extra passenger or two
Into an automobile when the path be
ing traversed Is hard and level, and
so tho chair shown In tho accompany
ing cut wns designed. When not in
use It Is collapsed and can be stowed
awny In a corner where It Is ontlroly
out of the way, or, If desired, It may
bo carried In the pockot. When called
Into active service Its strength is as
sured by reason of the fact that it Is
mndo of metal.
It Is adjustable to heights of four
teen, sixteen nnd eighteen Inches, has
a swivel top, heavy canvas, seat
twelve Inches square, Is mado of mal
leable Iron and steel with nickel-plate
and black enamel finish and weighs
complete less than two pounds. When
folded It measures only nine Inches In
length by two Inches In diameter and
can bo easily carried In the pocket.
The Smallest Folding Chair.
It Is built to sustain a weight of 400
rounds and its compact form makes it
especially serviceable for use in mo
tor boats, camping excursions, sketch
ing, etc. Washington Star.
KITCHEN SAFE THAT FOLDS.
When not In Use In Summer It Can
be Placed Behind the Door.
Economy of space Is so much sought
after nowadays, that It Is not surpris
ing to hear of the folding safe. This
is the Invention of a Georgia man, and
should be found useful to housewives
who have no more room than they
need. The back and front of this
safe arc each made in one piece and
the sides are In. two pieces, hinged
In the middle, so that they can bo
Portable and Saves Room,
folded In ward, like the pleats of an
accordion, and the whole form a flat
surface. When the safe Is erected,
Blldcs and a drawer fit Into the sides
and two doors, hinged on the front,
give access to the Interior. In houses
with small kitchens and cramped pan
try accommodations tho new safe will
be found very convenient, and a par
ticular vlrtuo Is that It can bo easily
moved about to any place where It Is
needed. In summer time, when an
Icebox is required, the sate can bo
folded up and put out of the way, or
can be placed outside under a shed.
Reading Masks.
The "Book Monthly" passes on a
warning to tho researchers among old
volumes. It has been discovered that
tho ancient volume over which tho
researcher pores Is full of germs, nnd
you should not face tho tome without
a silk and wlro mask to fit over tho
mouth and nose. Otherwise, the
reader, as Hood wrote, will "find
more dust within the heap than he'd
contracted for." Tho reading mask
is in use in Paris. But one awaits
tho fashion plate which will encour
ago the ladles at tho British Museum
with a really fascinating mask. It
should bo nothing like the disguise of
the motorisL
Intoxication of Power.
Power will Intoxicate the best
hearts, as wine the strongest heads.
No man Is wise enough nor good
enough to be trusted with unlimited
power; for, whatever qualifications he
may have evinced to entitle him to
the possession of so dangerous a priv
ilege, yet, when possessed, others can
no longer answer for him, because he
can no longer answer for himself.
Cotton.
Brain, But No Ear.
Abraham Lincoln could not tell
"Yankee Doodle" from "Dixie." Gen
eral Grant did not know tho Army
bugle calls.
SIRES AMD S0;.3.
M. Krs. laborer, h.w i!h m1lit n iin
In the St. Louis dln-Uuiy. I'.
bcr, hns the suorttut Hiiie.
Edwin A. Brown. i,.i:ilotiaIrr. of 1 t li
ver Is studying tin- I of ihv hui.it-
loss nnd destitute hobo In tin' iltlo-i.
Ills excellency the Tauiul Chun 'i,eii
Yu, C. E., M. I. U. E.. builder of tup
Knlgau railway In China, Is n graduate
of Yale nnd was while there familiar,
ly known as Jimmy.
General Samuel C. Lawrence of Med-
ford, Mass., has recently been elected
to the highest office within the gift of
the Scottish Kite Masons. lie is u
civil war veteran, a banker nnd a rail
road magnate.
Alcxnnder Wndsworth Longfellow,
who hns been reappointed to tho Bos
ton arf commission, wns first graduat
ed from Harvard nnd then went to the
Ecolo des Beaux Arts. He is nu archi
tect when busy nnd a yachtsman when
at play.
General P. D. Grant is now quali
fied to wear the buttons of the G. A.
It. nnd the Loyal legion. It has been
established thnt as a boy of thirteen
he served as volunteer aid on his fa
ther's stnIT, carried dispatches nnd was
under fire In tho Vtcksburg campaign.
Dr. L. O. Howard, who left Cornell
In 1STS nnd took up cntomologlcnl
work for tho government, wns put in
charge of tho division of entomology
In ISM. lie found five men waiting
to help him, but thought lie, needed n
few more. Now ho has 400. And with
them he Is paying particular nttcntlon
to tho malaria mosquito nnd the house
fly. Current Comment.
A. Chicago wife dislocated her Jaw
while scolding her husband. A word
to the wise. New York Herald.
A rowbont In Itself Is harmless. So
frequently Is a fool. But tho combina
tion is decidedly dangerous. Portland
Espress.
Tho habit of tyranny nnd brigandage
is so strong with ex-Prcsldent Clpriauo
Castro that he has finally bought the
Grand hotel In Battcnberg. Kansas
City Star.
There is no need of alarm about the
Immigration of Americans. One presen
tation at court makes nn American a
royalist nil the days of his life. To
ronto Globe.
Men who are willing to pay $50 a
seat for the purpose of witnessing tho
fight between Hon. Jeffries nnd Hon.
Johnson should at least have the good
taste to refrain from complaining
around home about the high cost of
living. Oklahoma State Capital.
Law Points.
The liability of a municipal corpora
tion for the death of n person from
typhoid fever caused by Its emptying
a freo public sewerage system Into a
stream running near his dwelling is
denied in Metz versus Ashevllle, 150
N. C 74S; Ot S. E., 881; 22 L. R. A.
(N. S.), 040.
Tho measure of damages in case of
the destruction of a permanent or pe
rennial crop, such as alfalfa, Is held in
Thompsln versus Chicago, Burlington
and Qulncy R. R. Co. (Neb.), 121 N. W.,
447: 23 L. R. A. (N. S.), 310, to be the
difference between tho value of the
land before nnd after the destruction
of the crop.
Train and Track.
Railway passengers In nnd out of
New York now average 054,000 dally,
nnd It requires 3.3G9 trains to haul
them.
An American company hns been in
corporated to build n forty mile rail
road In Ecuador. Tho capital Is Sl,
3S0.000. By means of Improvements of tho
nature of curve eliminations and short
cuts of one kind or another tho length
of tho Transslborlan railroad will be
so shortened that 1,200 miles will bo
cut off the trip from Paris to Peking.
Recent Inventions.
A Chinese has Invented a simple ma
chine with which n person can make
straw braid of fine quality twelve
times as rapidly as by hand.
A bathtub on wheels that may bo
moved to the bedside of a hospital pa
tient too ill to go to tho regular bath
room Is a now convenience.
For use in manual training schools
a Wisconsin man has patented a tool
chest which may bo converted Into a
workbench by clamping it to tho top
of two desks.
Proverbs.
no who bows brambles must reap
Ihorns. Dutch Trovcrb.
A man thnt has had bis fill Is no
cater. Spanish Proverb.
Who does right is born sufllclenUy
noble. German Proverb.
It belongs to great men to havo great
defects. French Proverb.
A favor becomes old sooner than any
other thing. Greek Proverb.
German Gleanings.
Agriculture In Germany supports
about 10,000,000 of the population.
Tho Navy leaguo of Germany now
ban a membership of 1,031,830, and Its
funds amount to 8,303,050.
In Germany a merchant was recently
heavily fined for using a quotation
from tho Bible at tho head of an ad
vertisement A billiard room reserved for tho uso
of women is ono of tho novelties to
which a new restaurant In Berlin calls
the attention of tho public.
FOR THE CHILDREN
A Jolly Game.
Summer time Is the season foi
games. If you are fond of playing
with your friends hero Is a Jolly, In
teresting game:
Every player except tho one win
holds tho oincc of reader selects a
trade or profession, which he must re
tain throughout tho game. When all
bnvo chosen their trades tho rcadct
opens a book at random and reads a
passage from It aloud, but when hr
comes to any common noun he looks
at one of tho tradesmen, who must In
stnntly name somo nrtlclo that he i
supposed to havo for sale or some Im
plomcnt connected with tho exercise
of his craft. By this substitution ot
one noun for another the most pathetic
passage is converted into an Indescrlb
ablo Jumble of absurdities.
In the following talo the quotco
words are supposed to bo supplied by
tho different tradesmen In the placo oi
the nouns omitted by the reader: One
offered tho president a "bucket" of the
most precious "airships;" another a
curious piece of a "riding boots" made
by Reynolds tho great; nnother a plect'
of "mince pie" from tho looms of Ja
pan; nnother n "porous plaster" safd
to broil meats to perfection; anothei
an "automobile" In a "warming pan"
Inlaid with ivory; another a "coflln"
full of "lemon Juice" spread with
"pearls." "A rocking horse" was
brought from Alaska, and another a
gold brick of exquisite beauty from
the depths of the ocean.
An Experiment With Light.
Placo a vertical screen in front of a
couple of .candles, and between the
candles and the screen Interpose some
opaque object, such as a large book,
having on top of it a little figure cut
out of cardboard. This will give you
two black shadows, corresponding
with tho candles. Now put between
the candle on the right and your card
board figure a bit of colored glass or
a glass filled with colored water, say
red, and you will sec the Imago on the
right In red, while the figure on the
left will have disappeared. But look
ing n little more attentively you will
see that is now replaced -by the like
ness of n figure in pale green, the com
plementary color to thnt which illumi
nates tho screen. If you put yellow
liquid In your glass the left band fig
ure will seem violet. If you use blue
water the left hand figure will look
orange. The figure on the right will
always be the color of the water.
Mriglcal Experiments.
A Bird That Sewt.
The tailor birds are East Indian
warblers that wear plain clothes, but
live in a fancy tailored dwelling, for
in building a nest these clever birds
either sew a dead leaf to a living oue
or join two neighboring leaves togeth
er so as to form a kind of hanging
pouch, which remains attached to the
brunch by the leaf stalk of one or both
leaves. Tho threads which they use
consist generally of twisted fibers or
of actual cotton threads, the bill serv
ing for a needle In puncturing holes
in the leaves and in drawing the
threads through. Occasionally if a
large enough leaf is found the nest
may bo formed by drawing together
tho free edges of tho leaf. The lower
part of tho pouch coutalns tho nest,
which is n cup of soft materials and
is entered from above. The actual
structure of this Ingenious cradle has
rlever been scientifically observed, but
neither the bird nor Its nest Is uncom
mon. A Queer Old Riddle.
Two legs sat upon three legs and
had one leg in hand; then came four
legs and took away oue; then up
started two legs and threw three legs
at four legs and brought back ono leg.
Answer; A womau wlh two legs sat
on a stool with three legs and had u
leg of mutton In her hand; then came
a dog with four legs and took nwny
the leg of mutton; then up started the
woman with two legs and threw the
stool with threo legs at tho dog with
four legs and brought back tho one
leg of mutton.
A Natural Question.
Llttlo Margaret went with her moth
er to tho dock to sea her auntie set sail
on tho big ocean steamer. Margaret
had never seen a big steamer before,
and sho watched everything with great
Interest. Tho great boat slipped slow
ly away from tho dock, nnd Margaret
waved her hand frantically with the
rest. Then sho looked up at her moth
er very solemnly.
"Mamma," sho questioned, "does the
water follow that ship nil tho way
over to England?"
When Reggie Tells a Story.
Tou havo to do what he thinks right;
Tou can't sit still to hear his tale;
Tou have to Join him In tho flight,
Or else the fun Is sure to fall,
When Iteggie tells a story.
"There comes the bear," he cries in Blee,
"Nurse, you're tho bear; stt up and
nowi.
Here, Amy, you must stand by me.
And hug me tight at every growl.
"When I say 'bang,' the gun goes off.
I've killed you, nurse, but move your
head
And give a little, tiny cough
To let us know when you are dead.
"Then, Amy, I must kiss your hand,
And here's a ring for you to carry,
And over there's tho Prince's land,
Where you and I shall go to marry."
And then nurse runs; the prince runs aftei
And brandishes his dreadful gun
While Amy Jumps and screams wttb
laughter,
"I rink we has the mostost fun
When Vfeeey tells a stowy."
Chicago News.
NEW SHORT YARNS
King Edward and Mark Twain.
The death of King Edward VII. so
soon following that of Win whom Eng
lish spcnVJrff ,'nioiile termed "Amer
ica's uncrowned king," the late Mark
Twain, reminds mo of nn incident Il
lustrating the pure Americanism of
Twain, writes W. F. Cook in tho New
York Times. Ho wns Invited to a gar
den party given by tho king nt Buck
ingham palace. I asked him how he
enjoyed the garden party, nnd he an
swered in his well knowl drawl:
"The king seemed to enjoy It"
no told me that he was ushered to
tho front at tho garden party, whero
"there wk two a heat men stood be
fore ALTj the people. "
the king and queen were receiving,
which was a raised part of the garden.
The people applauded as he neared the
sovereign, and this Is how he described
what occurred:
"I knew we were tho center of nil
eyes, and I felt my oats. "When I ap
proached King Edward he extended
his right hand, and as I took it he
placed his other hand on my shoulder.
I thought to myself if the king could
put his hand on my shoulder I could
put mine on his, nnd so I did. There
we two great men stood before nil the
people 'layin' on of hands.' "
No Chance For a Miracle.
One day Dr. Norman McLeod, who
was a large and healthy man, and one
of his burly elders went to pay a visit
to a certain Mrs. MaeLaren of the con
gregation who lived in the Scotch hills.
She was a frugal woman, but deter
mined that they should have the best
in tho house. So she piled the table
with Jellies and jam and preserves
nnd shortbread, and they partook un
sparingly. After the meal the elder said to her,
"Mrs. MaeLaren, were you nt the kirk
on Sunday?"
"Oh, nye," she said. "I was."
"And what did you think of tho treat
ment of tho miracle?" The sermon
had been on the loaves and fishes.
"I thought it was good," said Mrs.
MaeLaren.
"AJid what is your idea on the sub
ject, Mrs. MaeLaren?" asked the min
ister. "Losh," said their hostess suddenly,
"I'm thlnkin' that if you and the elder
had bin In the congregation there
Wadnn bin twelve baskets of frag
ments for the disciples to gather up!"
London Globe.
Future Food Faker.
Dr. Ilarvey W. Wiley, tho govern
ment's brilliant food expert, wns talk
ing nbout n notorious case of food
adulteration.
"The morals of these people!" be
said. "It Is Incredible. But I know
a little boy who will grow up nnd join
them some day.
"I was walking one morning in a
meadow when I saw this little boy
gathering mushrooms.
" 'Have you had good luck?' I asked.
"'Fair,' he answered, showing me
his basket,
"But I gave a cry of alarm.
'"Why, my lad,' I said, 'those are
toadstools you've got! They'ro poison
deadly poison!'
"He tipped me a reassuring wink.
'"Oh, they ain't for entin', sir, ho
said; 'they're for sale!' " Washington
Star.
Very Monopoloui.
Senator Boverldge, discussing a cer
tain monopoly, said with a smile:
"This company reminds me of the
old man In tho train who said to his
neighbor:
" 'Would you mind lending me your
specs, sir?'
"'Why, certainly,' the neighbor an
swered, and ho took off his spectacles
and surrendered thorn with a cour
teous gesture.
" And now,' said tho old man, 'slnco
you can no longer see to read your
newspaper, I'm sure you'll be willing
to let mo run my eyo over tho sport
ing pages."
Used a Different Implement.
A grnduato of narrow, enlarging onco
to Charles Lamb upon tho famous men
who had gone out from that school,
said: "Now, thero's So-and-so, ho was
a narrow boy; and So-and-so, ho was a
narrow boy; and So-and-so, he was a
Harrow boy."
Whereupon Lamb, with his Inimita
ble Btuttet, rejoined, "Ye-es, and there's
Burns, lie was a plowboy."
If Your Liver is Wrong,
You Are Wrong All Over.
A torpid, Inactive liver goes hand in hand
with constipation, and Is a chronic condi
tion, ono requiring a systematic, wclW
dlrcctcd effort to overcome effectually and
establish conditions o( health and perfect
body drainage.
Smith's Pineapple and Butternut Pills,
containing the two elements needed to in
crease liver activity and muscular action,
co accurately to the sluggish liver and.
bowels, restoring them to perfect action.
They are composed of the two great vege
table agents, pineapple for the stomach,
liver and gastric secretions, and butternut
for the mucous membrane, circulation and
bowels, and always give best results they
are Nature's own laxative.
Thousandsof satlsrtcdandgratcful people
have written us about the great benefit they
have received from these pills. Herels one :
Mri. W. A. I.KftUK, of Falrcliiinee, P..
writes t I took Smith's Pineapple and Untter
nut rill for headache, backache and painful
periods, and they worked like a charm.,f
Physicians use and recommend. They
form no habit. You should always keep
them on hand. These little Vegetable
Pills will ward off many ills.
To Cure Constipation
Biliousness and Sick
Headache in sl Night, use
itnatton.
I AND I fndlaUv
BUTTERNUT BSSSSS l&s
' PIUS li"L0lS2& 131
00 I'lIU In Gln Vial 83c, All Dealers.
SMITH'S
BUCHU
LITHIA
KIDNEY
PILLS
For Sick Kidneys
Bladder Dliam, Rheumatism,
the one beat remedr. Reliable,
endorsed by leading phrslclana;
are, effectual. Rendu touting-.
On the market IS yean. IUt
cured thousands, loo pills to
original glass package, to cents.
Trial botes, to pUls.JS cents. All
drnggliti seU and recommend.
Rr .ew Late Novelties
IN
JEWELRY
SILVERWARE
WATCHES
SPENCER, The Jewele;
"Guaranteed nrtlcles only sold."
OFFICE OF THE HONESDALE
CONSOLIDATED LIGHT, HEAT
AND POWER COMPANY
SPECIAL NOTICE TO .STOCK
HOLDERS. The Board of Directors of this
i Company have called a special meet
ing of its stockholders to be held nt
the General office of the company,
. in the Borough of Honesdale, Penn
i sylvania, on the 14th day of July,
1910, at 3 o'clock, for the purpose
of voting for or against an Increase
, of the Indebtedness of said company.
M. B. ALLEN, Secretary.
Tooth
Savers
We have the sort of tooth brushes that are
made to thoroughly cleanse and save the
teeth.
They are the kind that rienn teeth wltbcu
eavlnc vour mouth tull of bristles.
We recommend those costing 24 cents o
more, as we can guarantee them and will re
place, free, nny that show defects ot manu
facture within three months.
O. T. CHAHBERS,
PHARHACIST.
Opp. D. & 11. Station HONESDALE, PA
I
The National
Stockman
and Farmer
and the
Citizen for one
year for $2.00
t
nmimtimnrat mm tmmmmtnnnmru