THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, iUNE 1, 1010. The Scrap It Made His Wife Laugh. At breakfast she said: "Dearie, you know the plumbers nre coming this morning mul the water will bo shut off a couple of Onys. We'll need vouio up In the bnth r o o iu, a n d I thought you could carry up a few bucketf uls from the cistern and 1111 the tub." "All right," he replied. lie had found the best w ay to h a v o peace at homo w a s always to agree with li 1 s HE BTAIITKB TO W0I1K wlf0i "You get the buckets, wlfcy, and I'll get busy right away," ho told her. She found a couple of palls, and ho started to work. A dozen or more buckets of water bad been poured laboriously Into the bathtub "when on his next trip he found her waiting at the cistern. She was laughing so hard It was with some difficulty she managed finally to tell the hard working hubby what the matter she was lauohixo. was. It had just occurred to her that the water pipes had not yet been dis connected nnd the faucet in the tub might Just as well have been turned on. Hubby never said a word. He only turned red, put on his hat and coat and went downtown. Knnsas City Star. The Earth and Man. A little sun, a little rain, A soft wind blowing from the west. And woods and fields are sweet again And warmth within the mountain's breast. So simple Is the earth wo tread. So quick with love and life her fame. Ten thousand years have dawned and fled, And still her maelc Is the same. A little love, a little trust, A soft Impulse, a sudden dream, And life as dry as desert dust Is fresher than a mountain stream. 3o simple Is the heart of man, So ready for new hope and Joy, ?en thousand years since It began Have left It younger than a boy. Stopford A. Brooke. A Standing Joke. Trains were always slow and far be tween on the branch road. Nobody knew this bettor than the people at the Junction, except perhaps those on the branch Itself. It was an old story to them, and the jokes about the situa tion were many and good. One day the newsdealer at the Junction sta tion came home to lunch grinning broadly to himself. "What's the joke?" asked his wife. "You look pretty well pleased with yourself." "Oh, nothing particular," ho replied, "excepting an odd fellow from the end of the Hue said a funny thing. "He'd missed his train, and there wasn't another for two hours. He came to the counter to buy some read ing matter. lie asked for a Joke book, aud I said I didn't keep them. Then he pawed over the stock and finally said, 'Well, I guess I'll take a time ta ble instead.' " A Stomach on a Holiday. A Chicago wine merchant went on a yachting trip with a Judge from the same city. They were out together for two weeks and had n good time. When they returned the agent was much upset to find himself summoned on a jury, but cheered up when he discovered the judge on the bench was his late yachting companion. He hur ried to the court and pleaded business pressure as u reason for an excuse for him. "What is your business?" tho judge inquired of him coldly. "I represent a wiuo in Chicago." "Selling It or drinking it?" "Well, drinking it largely." "Step Into the box, sir. A ten days' rest will do you good." The wine agent served. Saturday Evening Post. Just a Little Dubious. Uncle Solon Wlnslow had secured n succession of four admirable wives, all of whom had been removed from the scene of their earthly activities by one cause or another within n period of twenty years. Uncle Solon's weddings had grown to bo so much a matter of course that when, after n year of wldowerhood, ho announced his nppronchlng fifth mar riage ono of his neighbors said, "Well, Solon, I s'poso they seem pretty nut ural to you by this time weddings, I mean." "This ouo won't," said the prospec tive bridegroom, "for old Parson Frost's off on his threo months' leave, you know, and he's never failed to tlo tho knot for me. "I sold to Susan that I didn't know ns 'twould hardly seem llko a wed ding to me without him, and she said to mo that 'twas her turn Jo choose this time, and she intended to start out with young Parson Comer over to tho Center, and if ho did well she gueBsed she'd stick to him. "She didn't explain what she meant," added Uncle Solon thoughtfully, "but it sounded kind of ominous to me." Book 42? rwo VAKI.SilKh OK CO I IN. 'vi'ilcn Honey mid Guidon Illinium IxiM'p Longer Than the Wultc Sorts. The golden yollow and extrn sweet varietur ot corn tor the ahlo havo . iiKrf.i tne public by storm Uolden llantnm was among the first of these ilellgnttul variations upon a favorite delicacy It is very early, very sweet by some considered the sweetest corn thai grows. As may i'( Interred trom tho name. It Is GOLDEN HONEY SWEET CORN. O'.varf. growing not more thnn three fnet high, and makes a small, com pact ear. In their early stages tho grains are cream white, maturing to a beautiful golden yellow. At the head of these tempting golden sweet varieties some connois seurs In corn plnce Golden Honey sweet corn. It Is medium early, quite prolific and has ears of good size. It Is claimed that both these yel low corns keep In good eating con dition longer than the white sorts. The distinctive points of the golden sweets are their color and a certain 'rich dellcacr" of flavor, in which those who fancy them most say, they excel any other kinds. They ir- pretty certain to becomo fvor ites "bere Introduced Into a com munity. Potash for Muck So lit Muck soil that has been under cul tivation for some time usually needs a copious supply of potash to re plenish the original quantity of that soil essential which has been taken up by tho firs few cbrops, or has disappeared, through the leaching I recess, to deaths beyond the reach ot the roots of farm plants. It one has access to plenty ot wood isiihb and r ders a very cheap and simple method lor Improving the rertllity ot swamp land Is found 'iy scattering these ashes broadcast and ,p general quantities over the sur face ot tho reclaimed land. In the i-A oil!- ot large manufacturing ...nts or coai mines coal ashes and cinders can be gotten merely for the Hskmg and removal. The low pot a?h contents of these ashes necessi tates adding a targe amount per acre.' h rom inree to four tons ot coal ash per acre ought to supply enough iiousb for Hbout two crops of corn or potatoes. The application to each acre ot awump laud, of from 400 to 500 pounds ot kalnlt. a -alnerai obtaina ble from almost any reliable dealer in fertilizers, will also supply a suf ficient amount of potash for several crops. If muriate ot potash is used, (and it is most commonly available) from iUU to 4 00 pounds per acre applied to tho well prepared ground, Just be fore planting or seeding, vili prove very satisfactory. Sulpi.atk ot potash may also be ap plied lb the eunio quantity (.er acre &c the muriate. Application ot these different fartlllzerg ot high potash content may be made either bj hand broadcasting or when con ditions permit, oy drill. Large quan tities ot tobacco stems scattered ou tho muck soli and plowed under will also supply potash. The Uqutd mnnuro flowing trom tho compost heap hi tne barnyard may be profitably apnlled to muck soIIb. as this liquid Is well charged with soluble potash generally In the carbonate form. H. C. S. In Indluna Farmer. Flrbt Aid to Knriners. A larmor In Ohio wrote to the De partment ot Agriculture that he had struggled for tweuty years on an eighty acre farm heavily mortgaged but bud been unable to reduce bis debt ot rise luoyo a povertj mat made the bringing up of bis famll a uumillauon. Ho asked it thoro was any hope tor him on thi ..m or if he might as well tlvo up the Lght. The Ou partment requested that he make a detailed report of nis farm and iu bolls and upon this It based a plan ot tanning which he was recommended to follow to the letter. According to a writer in '!he World To-duy there was a profit the itrst yeai o. $2,000, and the Department belier that ultimately the despised 80 acre can be tuade to yield $6,000 a yeui A FASTIDIOUS GUEST. Th Dlth Hs Preferred In Place of Pemmlcan Cake. Tho liltlo club of "dyed in tho woo'." bohcmlnns, with all their tminilotml eccentricities, was giving a "mirth polo" supper. After the pieU had been shown the Imitation polar bears and the napkins formed In the nhape of lco Igloos he wns asked to pit tuple n cake of pemmlcan. "It's something lino," elucidated one of the members with much euthusl asm. "I had n friend on a polar expo dltlon, nnd he furnished us with the original recipe." The guest nibbled a small section of tho pemmlcan cake nnd hesitated. "H-how Is it mado?" he queried wa rily. "Well, 111 tell you. First we lump, tho toughest plcco of beef wo could find out In tho open nlr two weeks." The guest took n deep breath. "Then we ground It up nnd mixed In tho rnlslns nnd sugar." There wns another deep breath. "And then we covered It over with tallow. Tallow Is something like TIIB OUEST LOOKED AHOTJND THE ROOM. cheese, nnd my exploring friond said the mustier it was the spicier tho fla vorgives It n sort of pique taste, you know. Hut, mail, you'll never be a good explorer If you don't like pern uiienn. Why, explorers even cat old boots." There was a silent pause, nnd the guest looked around the room ns if In search of something. "What Is it, old man?" asked the host. "Why don't you eat your pem mlcan?" "I was Just thinking," responded the guest quietly. "Thinking of what?" "Why, that I might find n pair of old boots to cat iu place of the er pem mlcan." New York Herald.' No Use For It. A Washington man took his little boy to church one Sunday inorulng. A missionary preached, telling about the nudo heathen In the tropics, nnd after tho sermon a missionary collection wns taken up. The little boy noticed that his father put in a suspender button. He snld to his father on the way home: "Didn't I understand the preacher to say that those savages went naked, father?" "Yes, my son," wns the reply. "I'm glad to find you were so attentive." "Then, father," said the boy, "why did you put n button In the plate?" Aim to Rise. Every mnn ought to aim at emi nence not by pulling others down, but by raising himself, and enjoy the pleas ure of his own superiority, whether Imaginary or real, without interrupt ing others In the same felicity. He Liked Life Term Best. He was one of the judge's "regular" prisoners. His ready tongue had gen erally contrived to get him off with n reprimand, but nt last the magistrate decided to take severer measures. "You'll take the pledge or go to the house of correction," he told the ap parently penitent prisoner. "Which?" "Pledge for life." "Well," said tho magistrate lenient ly, "better mnke It for n year first. Then you can renew It." "Oh, that's all right!" tho prisoner remarked cheerfully. "I always take It for life." Senator Frye's Fishing Luck. Senator Frye is- nn enthusiastic fish erman. He was once tho guest of a family that arranged for him aud oth er visitors In Kastport, Me., a picnic at n lake a few miles distant. Tho head of the family, noticing that his brother, who hnd charge of tho ve hicles, had placed a supply of fishing paraphernalia in one of the wagons, asked why he had done so. "They're for Frye," was tho reply. "Hut, man alive, there aro no fish in that lnke," tho cider exclaimed. "Well, Frye doesn't know It." Frye didn't. On arriving nt the lake ho took the fishing tackle and trudged off, to return somo hours Inter very warm and very much bitten by mosquitoes, "Get nny bites, Frye?" he wbb asked. "Get any bites!" wns tho half ludlg nnnt reply. "Look at my face!" A Straight Tip. Two Irishmen stopping nt a hotel in .Dublin shared tho same bed as well ns tho same bottlo of whisky. Tat waited till ho saw MlkO' was asleep, when ho rose quietly and emptied tho bottle. Soon nfterward Mike, waking, stole out of bed nnd begnn groping about la the dark, "Phwut are you lookln' for, Mlko7' asked Pat. t,"Oh, nothlu'l" said Mike. "Well, Mike," snld Pat, "go over to the corner there, and you'll find it in lho bottle." aaoQaoooooaoooaoooooaooi Doit Sermons; FOR A fjoaaoGooooaeoooooooQoaof, Theme: "THE SPIRIT IN MAN." BY THOMAS REED BRIDGES, D. D. Text. There Is a spirit In man. Job, xxll., 8. Mnn wns crented llko the other nul mals, from the dust of the earth, but there was a difference. God breathed Into him n living divine spirit Tho body became possessed with nn im mortal soul. It Is tills spirit in mnn that directs him and drives him on. It will not sufrcr him to rest contented. It de mnnds always more struggles, greater sacrifices, completer victories. Ench step gained becomes the basis for a new advance. In tho Hudson-Fulton celebration we saw something of what tho spirit In man hns accomplished. Threo cen turies are n little time In which to create New York and tho splendid material civilization which It typifies. A hundred years seem not enough In which to produce tho marvellous de velopments and mighty conquests of steam. The Insatiable spirit In mnn allows him but a moment for retrospect. There aro greater things yet to bo done. After the conquest of the earth comes tho conquest of the air. Be yond the world aro the stars, and be yond the stars there is infinite space. The body of man has reached Its llmlL We can, by taking thought, scarcely add a cubit to our stature or a decade to our span of life. But the spirit In man knows not limitation. It has life that is eternal and possibilities that are infinite. The living spirit travels in tho di rection of greater power. It multiplies itself by laying hold upon tho forces of nature. It drags energy from Its secret places, nnd sets It to work. It seeks nlso to understand psychic and moral forces and bend them to Its im perious will. Tho spirit In man travels in the direction of comploter knowl edge. It must know all things. It sets man to searching out facts of every kind. It honors the explorer, the In ventor and the thinker. Nothing Is unimportant, if it is real and true. The spirit in man travels In the di rection of a more perfect righteous ness. It strives ceaselessly for a bet ter government, a Juster social sys tem, the abolition of poverty and war, a life of happiness for all. The pro found unrest which Is everywhere ap parent springs from the conflict of tho spirit In man with tho cruel and un just conditions which have survived from less enlightened nges. Progress Is the law of life. We can neither go backward nor stand still. The quest of the spirit does not end until the dissolution of the body, until the dawning of an eternal day, when we awake In His likeness. Short Meter Sermons. Time is short; whatever your hand finds to do, do It with your might. Rev. J. M. Weaver, Baptist, Louisville. No matter how low a man may fall, If the rebound is toward God tho man is blessed. Rev. B. F. Riley, Baptist, Houston, Texas. All authority is from God, and hu man rulers are only stewards of tho Great Masters. Rev. J. L. Belford, Roman Catholic, Brooklyn. A good deed for the sake of getting your name In the paper Is not Chris tian charity. Rev. W. H. Day, Con gregationalism Los Angoles. A Inrgo part of enlightened Chris tendom has outgrown Its formal or thodoxy and Is consumed with spiri tual hunger. Rev. C. Flelsher, He brew, Boston. The almost universal acceptance of the double standard of morals Is per petuating a great crime against pos terity. Rev. Z. H. Copp, Methodist, Washington. Spiritual Life. It Is not always tho giver who gives, It Is not always the receivor who receives. Malay Proverbs. Men of Intellectual and moral nnd religious culture who nre not nctlvo forces for good in society aro not worth what It costs to produco and keep them. Henry Van Dyke. Man Is freo In proportion to his power of moral choice. Tho fixed star, not tho blazing comet or the fish ing meteor, Is tho symbol of tho truest freedom. Cella Parker Woolloy. Only to find our duty certainly, and Eomewhoro, somehow, to do It faith fully, makes us good, strong, happy, aud useful men, and tunos our lives Into some feohlo echo of the ltfe of God. Phillips Brooks. The Good Man. Tho real wealth of tho world Is the good mnn, not the nblo mnn or tho successful man. A public bonefactor Is already beautified by tho peoplo nnd by heaven. The happiness of an edu cated llfo Is In doing good and In giv ing out again tho knowledgo rocelved. Rev. Julian E. Johnstone, Roman Catholic, Boston. Not a Saint from Sleep. No man can become a snlnt in his sleep; and to fulfil tho conditions re quired domands a certain amount of prayer and meditation and time, just as improvement In any direction, bod lly or mental, roqulrea preparation and car?. Henry Drummond. I Q The Light of the Star. Vnrlotts endeavors hnvo been mado to estimate the light of the stars. In the northern hemisphere) Argelnnder hns registered 321,000 stars down to tho nine and a half magnitude, nnd with tho nld of tho best photometric dntn Agnes M. Clerk's "System of tho Stars" gives the sum of tho light of these northern stars ns equivalent to 1-440 of full moonlight, while tho total light of all stars similarly enumerated In both hemispheres, to tho number of about 000,000, Is roughly placed nt 1-1S0 of tho lunnr brightness. Tho scattered light of still fainter celestial bodies Is difficult to compute. By a photographic method Sir William Ab bey rated tho total starlight of both hemispheres nt 1-100 of full moonlight, and Professor Newcomb from visual observations of nil stars at Just 723 times that of Copclla, or 1-89 of tho light of the full moon. It Is not ccrtnln, however, that the sky would bo totally dark If all stars were blotted out. Certain processes make the upper atmosphere strongly luminous nt times, nnd wo cannot bo sure that this light would be totally absent. Hnrper Weekly. With a Grain of Salt. The earliest record of the saying "with a grain of salt" dates back to the year G3 B. C, when the great Pompey entered the palace of Mlthrldatcs nnd discovered among his private papers the description of nn antidote against poisons of all sorts, which was com posed of pounded herbs. Those, ac cording to the recipe, were to be tnken with a grain of salt. Whether this was meant seriously or ns n warning sarcasm Is not known, but thenceforth It became tho custom to say that doubtful preparations should be taken with a grain of salt. From this tho meaning got transferred to sayings of doubtful truth. "Attic salt" wns n Greek synonym for wit or penetration, nnd the Latin word "sal" had some what of the same meaning. It is thus easy to see how the saying "cum grano sails" could have come to mean the necessity of ncceptlng doubtful or suspicious statements "with a grain of salt." Molokai and the Lepers. Tho general Idea of the leper settle ment on the Island of Molokai Is wrong, says n writer in narpers Weekly. Instead of tho entire island being used for the leper colony the set tlement comprises only eight square miles out of a total area of 2G1 square miles. It occupies n tongue of land on the northern side of Molokai. The north, cast nnd west shores of this tiny spit are washed by the Pacific, while on tho south side rise precipitous cliffs of from 1,800 to 4,000 feet, which make the Isolation seem even more hopeless than tho beautiful deep blue waters of the sea ever could. Tho most difficult and dangerous trail, con stantly manned by government guards, foils escape, if it wero ever contem plated, by tho land side. PcOCj li- ALCOIIOL 3 PER CRNT AVegctablePreparalionrorAs slrailating iheFbodandRcguta. t ing (lie S tomacus andDmds of PromolcsDigestionkerriir: ncss and ResLContalns neither Opium-Morphlne norfliaeral. Not Narcotic. Hmfiia Srtd JbtMtSJts- llimSud Clanfitd Suqar IBulttynai flbrari m m6 few AnerfectHemedv forCimsfifSJ- Hon , Sour Stoiracli.Dlarrhoca Worins.Com'ulsioiis.mTrisir ru?ss andLoss ofSleep. Facsimile Signature of li?t IMA NEW YORKi Exact Copy of Wrapper. WANTED TO BE ON SAFE SIDE. Woman, Twice Deserted, Didn't Mean to Take Any Chances, Tho officers of tho thumb print bu reau wero Just wishing for something Interesting to turn up when a tele phone raossago offered timely diver- slon. A woman was speaking. "Do you mnke prints of anybody's thumbs except criminals?" she asked. Tho bureau did. "Well," said tho woman, "If I will come down there right away with a man will you mnke a print or h!: thumbs?" Tho bureau would. The man nnd tho woman came. "Wo want his thumb prints for Identification," said tho woman. "Wo are going to bo married to-morrow. Ho Is tny third husband. Tho other two ran away and I had the hardest Kind of a time to find them because theru was no sure way of Identifying them. They say thumb prints can never chnnRp and that a man can be tracked by timm to tho ends of tho earth. I hope I shall never have to uso them, but It Is Just as well to be on the safo side Will you make them?" Tin. bureau did. Hash. Snmo peoplo find fault when eating hash because they don't know what Is in It. Such souls are simply trying to dodge happiness. Would nnybody ever start upon a journey if they Vnr-w the cars wore going to leavo the track or that the bridge was sure to f-oiiapse? No Indeed. Would lov ers of hash over order that most toothsome viand wero It not for the dellchtful uncertnlnty attached to It the compelling mystery in which It Is wraupcd? Why be wise when perfect happi ness lies In Ignorance? Hash has stood the test of time, and, whatever it Is made of, history has yet to place a ralamity at Its door. WIno has caned the head to rise above the church steeples; pie has ruined the dignstivo apparatus, and hot biscuits havo brought tho price of nightmares down to a surprisingly low figure; but hash, plain, regular Inoffensive hash, has gone on down the ages and left no'hlng In Its wake but a food mem orv nnd a sweet taste in the mouth. Wy worry? Boston Herald. Love Will Find a Way. The beautiful girl tiptoed Into the library, where her father was reading the sporting page and nursing a gouty foot. "He he has come, father," sho faltered. "Who has come?" roared the old gentleman. "Why, George." "What! Didn't he promise never to cross my threshold again?" "He he didn't cross your threshold, pa. He stepped through the trapdoor on the roof. You see, he came In his airship." GASTORIA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use Over Thirty Years GASTORIA THE CSNTAUR COMPANY. NCW YORK CITY. KRAFT & CONGER HONESDALE, PA, Reoresent Reliable ComQanies ONLY Bears the 1 Signature J Tyl (For V