I
THE CITIZEN, FIU,IAY MAY 20, 1010.
0-
Scrap Book
They All Told Him.
Tho old gentleman from the bark
lots wns holding up a line of passen
gers nt tlio ticket olllce of u Chicago
(tuition the other day.
"I want a ticket to New York."
"Twenty dollars."
"What? Twenty dollars? Tho last
time 1 went It was only tent"
"Twenty dollars, please."
"How long has the faro been raised?
I ain't got no ?20!"
"Twenty dollars Is the fare. Hurry
upl"
"I ain't going to pay no twenty. I
know I only put up ten last time."
"Then get out of the way. Don't
jou seo you're Holding up all these
people? If you want to go to New
York It will cost you ?20. Move on!"
"Where can I go for $10, then?"
Well, tbe lino of people told him In
one emphatic monosyllable.
The Test.
I look Into my neighbor's eyes
And twist a smllo Hint's strangely trrlm.
I'm thinking. Would ho teel surprise
To know just what I think ot him?
I imzo Into my dear friend's face,
And with this thought my soul Is
stirred:
What revolution would lake placo
Were I to tell her what 1'vo heard?
I stare Into my mirror there
With eyes that hunger to bo trua
-And say aloud, Would It be fair
To mention all 1 know of you?
Lurana W. Sheldon.
Beaten by a Professional.
Hank Johnson had long enjoyed tho
distinction of being the homeliest man
In Canyonrllle, so It was somewhat of
a shock to him when Steve Hillings
came into the Tourists' Itctreat and
announced, "Hoys, there's a homelier
man than Hank over at the depot
feller by the name of Charles llattel
I.oomls, that gives lectures."
Without a word Hank started across
the road and was gone some time.
"Waal," Steve said when Hank re
turned, "d'ye give up?"
"Heck!" Hank replied, with supreme
disgust. "He's n professional." Suc
cess Magazine.
Spoiled the Treatment.
She was unquestionably a stout wo
man. She occupied more than one per
son's share of space in the street car
and quite overshadowed her trim com
panion. "You really ought to try
something," said her friend In reply to
an aside from the stout lady herself
regarding her weight. "A woman I
know reduced herself twenty pounds
in a very few months by taking a
treatment. I can And out what it was
if you like."
"You're very kind," said the stout
lady, "but I've quite given up trying
to get thin. Oh, I know," she went on
as the other interrupted, "but you can
not induce me to take up any new
fads. The last one I tried settled that.
They made me imagine that I was a
beautiful Illy swaying in the summer
breeze from side to side! I decided
that was ridiculous for a woman of
my weight and so"
"Perhaps you didn't give it a fait
trial," suggested her friend.
"Perhaps not, but my husband came
in Just when I wns being a lily, and
he"
"Men never understand, do they?"
said her friend.
Too Much For His Faith.
"The late Ilishop Hare," said a
SIous Falls physician, "used, very rea
sonably, to impute skepticism to mis
understanding. "He once told me about a business
man of skeptical tendencies who said
to him:
" 'My dea'r Mr. Hare, I do not refuse
to believe In the story of tho ark. I
can accept the ark's enormous size,
its odd shape and the vast number of
animals It contained. Hut when I am
asked, my dear doctor, to believe that
tho children of Israel carried this un
wieldy thing for forty years In the
wilderness well, there, I'm bound to
say, my faith breaks down.'"
A Test That Failed.
Her husband was an oculist, and she
desired to help htm. She studied hard
and then sought to begin practice on
the negro cook. She placed the cook
in posltlou and then began with the
cards that contained tho big and little
letters. Shu selected the extreme
lenses, and each time she tried one
she said:
"Martha, cau you read the letters
witli that lenso?''
"No," the cook said; "I can't read it
yet."
The ambitious wlfo tried and tried,
going Ihrougli hor eutlro supply of
lenses, but the result wns the same.
Finally the cook said:
'"Tain't no use. You never will
teach mo to read that way. I ought to
Lave learned when I was a kid."
Kansas City Star.
Her Long Suit.
"Mrs. Promoter Informs mo that you
and I are to be partners in tbe whist
gamo at her card party tonight," im
parted tho major, meeting tho clever
Mrs. Flurry on tho uvenue. "I didn't
snow you played whist."
"Oh, I play n little, major. It's a
beautiful day, Isn't it?"
"Yes. Now let mo glvo you n point
er," rejoined tho major, who was ns
earnest In his whist playing as ho was
redoubtable. "In tho game tonight
If you have long suit uso It."
"Very well, major, I shall. Thero
goes Mrs. Skittle, whom 1 want to see.
Ooodby, major. I'll seo you at the
whist game, and I'll wear ray long
fm!t."-JudgoV Library.
mm
lULLLNG POULTIU.
(knno Hiitc and Sanitary ways ot Do
ing the Work.
Tho tlrst essential is that the fowl
ihall have absolutely no food for
thlrty-slx hours, so that Its crop,
gizzard and Intestines shall be emp
ty. First-class dressing domnnds that
tho fowl bo dry plckod not scalded
This mnkes the French method f
killing vory essential. By this meth
od tho fowl Is suspended by n loop
around Its legs to a hook on tbe wnll
With a quick thrust through the
root of the mouth to tho brnln tho
operator kills the bird and severs
tho main arteries. At that Instant
be begins plucking the feathers. They
pull easily thon a minute later they
come bard, but In that nuo minute
tho worst of his task Is done. The
carcass Is then coolcu formed in the
forming- troughs, so as to pnj nice
ly and is then ready for shipment.
No Incision Is made In thu skin of
tho fowl. Nono of tho Interior or
gans vero removed. Tho moment
tho Interior organs of a fowl are ex
posed to the air, decomposition seis
in. Packed or nandlcd as described
the fowl will keep perfectly for days
or if in cold storage for weeks or
months.
The ngllsh method differs only
In tho billing. No knife l. used, no
bleeding Is done. The vertebra next
to the skull Is severed from the head
by a strong quick jerk ot tho opera
tor; this causes Instant death and a
loosen. ut. of the feathers ns In the
French method. The bead Is drawn
out from the neck ar lncn or two,
and In this spaco the blood drains
and forms a clot as the bird bangs
by its feet. This method shuts oat
tho air from tho interior of the car
cass oven more effectually than dots
the Fre..ch method.
A serious onslaught has been made
on these methods of dressing poultry
in several States recently, but .t ls
hoped that they may not prevail but
rather that they may row In favor
They are safer for iho consumer;
they are simpler and bettei tor the
produ er. T. E. urr, In bullotiu
Pennsylvania Department of Agi
culture.
Toulouse Gander.
Few It any birds exhib
ited at poultry shows and
fairs can present a record equal
to tha of the gander whose
pen portrait for New England
Homestead here appears. For eight
yars he has maintained the right
to his name, Madlsor Boy, by win
ning first premium at Madison
PRIZE GANjJEU.
Squaro Garden, New York, every
season eight first premiums at
America's greatest poultry show! Be
sides Uiese prizes he has won tlrst
at other large shows and is pronoun
ced by breeders and Judges to be a
remarkable bird. Ho was bred oy
Clarence W. King president of the
Water fowl Club of America, and Is
a native of the Empire State.
Knelt for Fccdlnp Itoughngo.
A design of a cattle rack for feed
ing roughngo Is furnished by one of
tho renders of Tho Prairie Farmer.
A reasonably clear idea Is given In
tho accompanying sketch.
RACK FOR FEEDING ROUGHAGE.
Posts aro driven In tbe ground to
form a center and extend about C
feet clear of tho surfaco. Cross
pleco aro nailed to these to which the
slat work forming the rack Is nailed
A platform Is placod around thu bot
tom as indicated to prevent unnec
essary waste of feed,
Count tile Stina.
Are you keeping a strict count oi
tho eggs you gather each year, and
giving Biddy full credit for all she
lays at tha prevailing market prlco?
The only fair way la to count all eggs
gathered and if you are doing this
I will wager that you will find out
that hens pay and you will soon bo
eating fluo young rys.
Sow the poultry yards to Russian
sunflowers and you will have an
aboundance of shade and produce
lota of good feed. Wheat is ahto
good.
HE QUALIFIED.
The 8oldler Told the Truth and Wo
tha Prize.
During tho spring of 1901 a compai:..
of Virginia soldiers was ti;ai.i .
near tho home of Mrn. .Sawyer, a
man noted throughout the neighbor
hood for her charitable deeds. On
day, driving by the ennip, she mv a
poor, sick soldier lying by the rond-mle
nnd, stopping her carriage, (allied to
him for some time, nsklug about his
health and expressing her sympathy.
She noticed while doing so that on
each band be had two thumbs.
Upon reaching home she was haunt
ed by tho recollection of the poor man,
nnd, nlthough provisions of nil kinds
wero very Bcnrce, she determined to
divide with him the few things slio
had In tho house.
After preparing the basket she re
membered that she had not asked his
name, but, recalling his deformity,
wroto on the cover, "For tho soldier
with two thumbs." Giving It to a
trusted negro, with minute directions,
she sent him on horseback to the
camp.
Slio was much surprised at hln
speedy return nnd nsked how he had
managed to llnd the man so soon.
"Ho wns do fust one I see," said
Sam. "I was gwlno 'long, nnd n sol
dier nsk mo what I got In dat basket,
and I tolo 'Im a chicken nnd things
for do man wld two thumbs, nnd ho
say ho was do one, nnd I glvo Mm do
basket."
"Did bo have two thumbs on each
hand?" she asked.
"Well, he didn't sny nothln' 'bout
whnr he had 'em. He Jos' sny he got
two thumbs." Youth's Companion.
Ha Bungled It.
The mayor of an English town who
had bad little experience in public
speaking consulted a friend as to what
he should say in proposing the toast of
a distinguished lady who was visiting
the borough for n public ceremony.
"Oh. be quite brief!" said his friend.
"You might mention her being n model
of nil the virtues and that sort of
thing, but the less you say tho better."
And this is what be said: "Gentle
men, I propose to you the toast of our
guest. You know they say she's n
model of all the virtues, but the less
we say about that the better."
The Lesson.
When Willie's father came home to
supper there was a vacant chair at the
table.
"Well, Where's the boy?"
"William is upstairs in bed." The
answer came with painful precision
from tho sad faced mother.
"Why, wh-wbat's up? Not sick Is
he?" (An anxious pause.)
"It grieves me to say, Robert, that
niS CHIN ON TIIU.TOl' STEP.
our son your son has been heard
swearing on the street! I heard him."
"Swearing? Scott! I'll teach blm
to swear!" And he stnrted upstairs
in the dark. Halfway up he stumbled
nnd came down with his chlu on the
top step.
When the atmosphere cleared a little
Willie's mother was saying sweetly
from tbe hallway: "That will do, dear.
You have given hlra enough for one
lesson." Judge.
Today.
If you rando mistakes yesterday for
get them. No strength was ever built
upon continued regret. Today Is tho
result of yesterday, but it is more im
portant to remember that tomorrow Is
tho result of today.
Moses Not Yet.
The Rev. Henry vuu Dyko of Prince
ton is quoted ns telling this story at it
recent Presbyterian gathering:
"A Connecticut pastor of u denomi
nation well kuown to us was question
ing n boy pupil of tho Sunday school.
Tho lad answered greatly to tbe satis
faction of tho good man, but finally
the lntter was stumped when the
youngster made his last reply.
" 'What commandment, my sou, did
Adam break When ho nte tho apple?'
asked tho pastor,
"Tlcaso, Blr,' returned the boy,
'there were no commandments at that
time.' "
The Point of View.
William had Just returned from col
lego respleudent In pegtop trousers,
silk hosiery, a fancy waistcoat and a
necktlo that spoke for Itself. Ho en
tered tho library, where his father wits
reading. The old gentleman looked up
and surveyed his son. Tho longer ho
looked tho moro disgusted ho became.
"Son," he finally blurted out, "you
look like n fool!"
Later the old major, who lived next
door, came in nnd greeted tho boy
heartily. "William," ho said, with un
disguised admiration, "you look exact
ly like your father did twenty years
ago when ho en ma bn'cS from school."
"Yes," replied Wllllww. with a smllo,
"so father wus Just telling me." Everybody's.
Notes aed
Of Interest to Women Readers
A PAPER ARDROBE.
Bags Made of Cedared Paper Protect
Clothes from Moths and Dirt.
People who could afford to have
'cdnr rooms In their homos hnvo al
ways been considered fortunnte by
those who hnd to adopt other means
to keep their clothing from tho de
precations of moths and rrom dust nnd
dampness between seasons. Now thnt
the paper wardrobe snown In the Il
lustration hns been Invented, anyone
r.'ny have these advantages for little
lonoy. This form of wardrobe con
sists of big bags mndo of cedared
P'Tcr, which nro redolent of that
' -'or of cedar which no self-respecting
moth can abide. They are nlso to
constructed that when closed they are
completely airtight, thus keeping out
the dust nnd dampness. The saving
In the cost of cleaning and pressing
clothes can quickly be estimated, and
not only on tho cost of these opera
tions, but in the wear and tear result
ing from them. A garment hung on a
suitable hanger in one of these bags
assumes its original shape; in fact, it
practically presses Itself. The bags
can bo opened as often as wished, as
tho clasp that holds them shut can bo
operated by a child. The accessibility
of single garments without having to
rout out a chestful is another advan
tage. The Great Value of Tact.
Of all the good gifts the fairy god
mother can bestow upon a favored
mortal there Is certainly nothing that
Is quite equal to tact Health, wealth,
beauty and brains, right royal endow
ments though they be, lose much of
their value unless this precious asset
be found in combination with them.
A well-known writer defines tact as
"an intuitive art and manner which
carries one through a difficulty better
than either talent or knowledge." Per
haps this explanation Is as good as
any other, but it does not cover all
the ground. Thero are many times
and many opportunities which call for
tact without people having to be in
difficulties. It Is wanted in the every
day affairs of life. In dealing with
one's husband, or children, or ser
vants, and a household very quickly
shows If Its presiding genius Is tact
ful or tho reverse.
To a young man who has his way
to make In the world tret Is worth un
told gold. When he Is older nnd has
gained n name and reputation, he
may possibly afford to be brusque and
careless of other people's feelings.
But even then ho does It at tho ex
pense of popularity nny, of affection
sometimes. No woman, however, tal
ented, can shine in the social firma
ment If she be lacking In tact, and
though one Is inclined to regard the
attribute as belonging more especially
to her sex, we do not always find it
In the feminine character.
It is impossible to go to a school
mistress and say to her, with refer
ence to the education of one's daugh
ter, "Please pay particular attention
to music, French and tact." For tho
gift comes instinctively to those who
nre naturally quick, warm-hearted and
sympathetic. But It can be trained
and cultivated, too; lor who aro more
tactful than the people who nre taught
from their earliest childhood to con
sider the feelings ot others, and to
put them at their ease?
Tact ennbles us to say the right
thing at tho right time, and to leave
unsaid the wrong one. Tact also helps
us wonderfully In our dealings with
our poorer neighbors. They nro often
Intensely sensitive and proud nnd re
sent any suspicion of patronnge, yet
they nro grateful for our sympathy
and aid if wo do not ride rough shod
over their prejudices. Sometimes wo
see kind but thick-skinned charitable
workors who spoil tho good they do
by tho way In which it is done, nnd
though their ministrations mny bo nc
cepted, a feeling of resentment re
mains against tho tactless good Sa
maritan. "For all practical purposes,"
saya a woll-known writer, "tact car
ries it against talent ten to one."
McCall's Magazine.
Woman Surgeon for Army.
Dr. Roso Ringgold is tho only wom
an contract surgeon in the United
States Army. When on duty she
wears a divided Bklrt and a uniform
coat. She Is especially Interested In
the hospital problem of nn army In the
field, and has made a study of the
work of the Japanese hospital corpp
in the war with Russia. Miss Ringgold
(s now in the Philippines, whero shr
expects to spend several years.
r-
Curran and Lord Clare.
Currnii, the Irish advocate, wn on
terms of Intcnsn enmity with Lord
Clare, tho Irish lord chancellor, with
whom, when n member of the bar, ho
fought a duel and whose hostility to
him on the bench, he always said,
caused him losses In his profession
al income which ho could not esti
mate nt less than 30,000. The Inci
dents attendant on this disagreement
were nt times ludicrous In tho extreme.
One day when It was known that Cur
ran wns to make an elaborate state
ment In chancery Lord Clare brought
a large Newfoundland dog to the
bench with him nnd during the prog
ress of the most material part of the
case began In full court to fondle the
animal. Curran stopped nt once. "Go
on, go on, Mr. Currnnl" Rnld Lord
Clare. "Oh, I bog a thousand pardons,
my lord! I really took It for granted
that your lordship was engaged In con
sultation!" How to Relieve Headache.
There aro many kinds nnd cnuses of
headnchc, but probably the two, most
common hendncbea result from nerv
ousness or a disordered Rtomnch.
In cases whero there seems to bo too
much blood In the bend, when thorq Is
a pounding in the temples nnd behind
the ears, n warm drink will often af
ford relief. Drink n cup of tea or wa
ter to which the Juice of a lemon has
been ndded, ns hot as It can bo borne,
nnd place the feet in hot wnter. This
will draw tho blood from the head and
will relieve the pain greatly. Some
chronic sufferers from headache claim
that thero Is no cure like a brisk wnlk
In the fresh nlr with as loose clothing
ns possible, followed by n nnp In a
dnrkened room where tho fresh air
alMjuntls.
How to Preserve a Brass Bedstead.
A good brass bed should only be
dusted with a soft clean cheesecloth
nnd must never have brass polish used
on it So treated It should keep Its
luster for years. When It has grown
dull nnd dark about tho only remedy
Is relncquerlug, which costs from $5
upward, according to tho size of tho
bed. Be careful not to let coal gas get
chance at your brnss furniture and
do not keep the windows up over the
bed on a very damp or rainy day.
When the brass seems to be moist It
should at once be wiped off with the
cheesecloth or silk duster.
How to Prevent Weeds.
Cover your flower bed over with salt
from one Inch to two Inches deep.
Dampen the salt occasionally and
leave it on tho ground for a week or
ten days.- This will be sufficient time
to kill not only the weeds, but also all
the seeds that may be In the soil or on
the surface. Before planting dampen
the ground thoroughly nnd let it alone
overnight. Scrape oft all the salt on
the surface in the morning and let It
remain until dry enough to work.
Then plant your seeds and you need
have no fear of being bothered with
weeds.
Tho Kind You Have Always
In uso for over 30 years,
and
jwy , sonal supervision slnco its infancy.
f-C&CCiWi. Allnu'im nn f rulornlvo von 111 this.
All Counterfeits, Imitations and ' Just-as-good" nro but
Experiments that triilo with and endanger tho health of
Infants and Children Expericnco against Experiment.
What is CASTOR I A
Castorla is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops nnd Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its ago is its guarantee. It destroys "Worms
and allays Foverlsliiicss. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
nnd Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and nntural sleep.
Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
GENUINE CASTOR 1 A ALWAYS
Bears tho
The Kind You Have Always Bought
In Use For Over 30 Years.
THC CENTAUR COMPANY. TT
OOWN8 MADE IN BRUSSELS.
That City Turns Out Quantities of
"Paris Frocks."
"Do you know whero many of tho
frocks nro made that American wom
en buy In Paris?" nsked a man who
has lived abroad for many years.
"In Brussels," ho went on. "That
Is about tho greatest dressmaking cen
tre of the world. I know one woman
who hns a dressmaking establishment
In which she employs GOO girls. Her
output is tremendous, nnd there nro
many similar establishments.
"Every freight train that leae
Brussels for Paris carries big commit
ments of drosses. Labor Is cheapui
In Brussels than In Paris and co dl
tlons of living different. Then thero
Is no Sundny holiday for the workers
In millinery establishments. The pro
prietors are so swamped with ordora
that they keep their hands going.
"My wife tells mo thnt sho cau get
in Brussels nn exquisite hand em
broidered gown for ?I00. and the best
turned out there a court dress In
fact with train for $1-10. Brjssels Is
fa3t becoming an American shopping
centre."
'A Mite Too Prying.".
Bushby bad many natural advan
tages and beauties, but Mrs. Abner
Crane, who was n brief sojourner In
the- place, having been mere only a
matter of ten years or so, never ap
preciated It "She was aching to get
back to Nashuy the, whole enduring
time," said one of Mrs. Crane's Bush
by neighbors, "and I was glad to see
her go, feeling as she did."
i "What was It she didn't like about
Bushby?" asked one of the summer
"She said she 'didn't get the news o'
the day quick enough to suit her.' "
quoted the nqlghbor, with as near an
imitation of Mrs. Crane's air as sho
rould manage.
"As I said to my Asy, whnt on earth
i she wanted more than we nave In tho
i way o' news-spreadc.s here, I don't
know.
"When you consider that there aro
flvo telephones In town. r. gro ery
wagon driven by Lucy Grant's boy
twice a week, Lucy Grant herself to
sew for everybody in town by the day,
and all taking milk from Jed Kimbail,
I don't know how wo could be any
better fixed. I call anybody that wants
more news o' the day than Bushby
folks get a mite too prying myself."
I A Philanthropic Spaniel.
Old Buller, the curly brown spaniel,
well known to Middlesex. Is dead. He
was a philanthropist. With a money
i box hanging from Ills nisck he collect
! ed for Ealing Cottage Hospital. V.
, the laxt five years ho took in $100,
and ha showed fine discrimination as
to the sides of the streets he worked
In winter. In summer he frequented
parks, making his appeal to numerous
' ladles and gentlemen. Old Buller was
j 110 years old, and died from pleurisy
m
Bought, and which has been
lias homo tho signature of
has been niado under his pcr-
Signature of
MURRAY UTRCCT, NEW VOHH CITY
KRAFT & CONGER
HONESDALE. PA.
Represent Reliable
Comoanies ONLY