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TIIK CITIZEN, WKDNESDAY, MAY 18, 1010.
C DRREST ONDEXCE
ITheso articles anil Illustrations must not
bo reprinted without special permls
alon. THE OLE BAR'L CHURN.
The old oaken bucket
Has hod a bis pufT.
That moss covered bucket,
Tou bet, wns the stuff.
But, say, there bo others
That should havo their turn;
By eolly, now, there's
My Sal's ole bar'l churnl
Twas mado of olo hickory,
Tlio staves thick an' strong,
An' the smooth, rounded handle
Was straight an' real long.
But, oh, when sweet Sally
Turned that crock of cream,
An' It poured In the churn
In a rich golden stream,
An' she worked that Ions handle
With her dimpled, plump arms
My heart was upset
With her thousand sweet charms.
When she patted that butter
Into sweet Golden rolls
My heart was a-splutter.
I Just up an' told
"Oh, Sally, my sweetheart,
What butter you churnl
Oh, won't you coma 'lone
An' my butter turn?"
"Why, of course I'll bo 'Ions!"
An' her face she upturns.
"An' we'll tnko along with us
The olo hickory churn."
C. M. BARNITZ.
NOT 30 LOONEY AFTER ALL.
What would your storekeeper say if
Instead of your asking, "Are theso
eggs fresh?" you should inquire, "Are
these eggs sweet inside"
Like as not he would whisper to
the bookkeeper: "Thnt woman's get
ting looney. Hn, tin! Asking me
what's inside the eggs!"
But, sny, that question's not looney,
but legitimate, mid not a laughing
Yes, there's that date on the egg.
It was laid yesterday, perhaps.
If It was laid this second that
wouldn't prove It flt to eat.
It's what the hen eats and drinks
mostly decides the flnvor and whole
somcness of an egg.
Hot begets rot. Yes, and lots of
eggs thnt were laid yesterday are rot
ten. A hen drinks filthy water, eats
moldy grain, decayed vegetables and
old slaughter house refuse. Is she a
machine to' work over garbage so that
it comes forth pure and n strengthen
ing, health giving, finely flavored
The man who feeds fertilizer fac
tory dead horse and lets bis hens
drink from oozy barnyard pools will
sny yes, but the housewife, anxious
for pure food and solicitous for the
family health, will shiver and sny no.
Looney or not looney, demand pure,
sweet tasting fresh eggs nnd buy only
where they guarantee them.
WHY HENS DON'T HATCH.
There is general complaint that ear
ly clucking hens were scarce. This
shows that lots of people didn't get
winter eggs, for hens seldom sit until
after they Iny, But it's different now
from grandma's time. In those days
the whole shebang went broody lu the
The big barn wns lined with them.
But the Incubator gave the cluck a
black eye. People want eggs, not
clucks, nnd the broody quality Is be
ing bred out of them.
In grandpap's time liens would sit
on a corncob, a doorknob or a fence
post, but most hens now nre hatched
by machinery and "Just grow" and
don't know how to sit.
Just so with Peklu ducks hatched
In lucuhntors. They seldom hntch, nnd
eveu love for fiwimnilug has been bred
out of them.
Then there nre the breeds that sel
dom brood the Mediterranean class,
such as Leghorns nnd Mluorcas.
These are the great layers, and.
thinking to get more eggs, poultry rais
ers cross these nousltters with others
and thus change the characteristics of
the stock so they don't sit.
Millions of lire day old chicks are
uow shipped nil over the United States
to people who don't care to set clucks,
but want their chicks ready made.
Don't get scared about chicks get
ting white diarrhea if you hatch,
brood and feed right. We don't havo
It here. Follow "Poultry Notes" and
you'll be clear.
Don't think you nre 'tho sum of it
nil. Ob, what a bluff! Oh, what con
Don't stuff your chicks with yellow
torn if you want them crystal white;
tO per cent will do all right.
Don't think because a fancier Is a
Judge tbut his birds are always tho
best ever. Judges are made, cot bom,
and most of them are homemade or
mado by a paid puff in a poultry Jour,
Don't let grass grow and go to waste
under your feet. Turn it into gander
PIANO BOX CO' 3U0ES.
'Clio chicken rami . . . i lookout
for bargains In I in; ' i t .. i hi- "saw
iturt hatchet carpi n . r . . t n build
ing coop mill 11 Ml - ;.. .1 p'niii.B on n
patch here mill titer.'.
There was n tiny wheu tli old pinn
ing mill lmd slnts nnd bouid to give
away, but knotholes now sell nt n prc
niluin. The storekeeper often helps nut with
empty boxes, crates nnd barrels, nnd
the egg farmer's wagon is ofteu plied
with "empties" on return from mar
ket. A piano bos Is n special prize to the
lumber bargain buyer.
It generally sells for 25 ccntR to $1.C0,
Is made of good mortised boards nnd
riAKo nox colony house no. 1.
is so shaped thnt a window and door
added convert It nt once Into n good
-ilouy house, or. If cut lengthwise into
two equal parts, two nice size colony
coops may bo made of It.
The ordinary plnno box Is Just right
to nccouunodate fifteen to twenty-tive
weaned chicks, nccordlng to breed, and
Is about right size for bundling.
A large wludow lu front, with screen
nnd a glass to slip over to keep out
rain; ventilators high upon ends for
air nnd an outlet in front make It
Cover outside of coop, bottom nnd
all, with tar paper, tightly tacked and
COLON! HOUSE NO. &
well tarred, and nail thick slats across
bottom to keep off the ground.
Truck wheels or runners may be
added to facilitate moving from place
FEATHERS AND EGGSHELLS.
A farm of 173 acres has been pur-
chsjsed for a poultry plant near Espy.
Pa., by George B. Markle, the million
aire coal operator. Electric Incubators
will turn out 170,000 chickens n year,
When Paul Bergenstock, a Pcnusyl-
vnula farmer, reached a limekiln
ten miles from home he wns surprised
to find one of his hens roosting on tho
pole under the sled box. She had
gone to roost there the night before.
California sends $500,000 in poultry
nnd eggs across the Cannda Hue Into
British Columbia annually. Tho Cana
dlan poultry crop has decreased 20
per cent, and she has ceased to export.
Fine male birds often break down
or die in the breeding pens during the
hatching season, and it Is a great
mystery to their owners. It's nearly
always a case of starvation. The gal
lant fellows deny themselves of food
which the heavy laying hens quickly
gobble. Better feed that rooster by
himself once a day during tho breed
When a new incubator is heated up
a chunk of solder will sometimes drop
down into the lamp burner and cause
a big smoke, and on discovering the
melted solder the operator may con
elude thnt the heater leaks, but not so.
Where a dog is kept and bone cutter
is used, the dog, thinking to lay up
something for a rainy day, will carry
off the meaty bones nnd hido them.
This attracts crows and cats, and they
will make regular trips to the prem
ises for feed, and when young chick
ens appear they help themselves.
We are told that 100,000,000 bugs are
now known to science. John Bug
houso has gobs of these on his place,
Tommy Tumbledown has a big bunch,
and many of the rest nro on those
farms where no chickens, ducks, tur
keys and geese are raised to keep
Young Leghorns arc extremely curl
ous and get into tho old birds' quar
ters in spite of you and of course get
a dose of lice. They are especially
expert at Jumping into open water ves
When a dock is repeatedly visited
with disease it is time to change stock.
Before beginning uuew it Is wise to
locate the pens on now ground or to
fumigate the old coops and plow and
sow the yards and keep no fowls for
"Where does all the feed go?" aBka
tho chicken raiser whoso hens are
iklnny, though fed well, and lay no
eggs to eat or sell. That feed Is likely
making blood for mites and llco to
An Innocent at Large.
A Philadelphia young man whose
pockcthook Is of a bulging size visited
tho exposition lu Seattle lu 11)00. He
had n good education and was out nt
Seattle alone, nwny from the eyes Of
his loving mother.
Concluding thnt ho could not go
homo without buying her a present,
he went to a store, selected tho gift
and nsked the price.
"Kour bits," was tho answer of tho
"Wrap It for me, nud I'll call for it
later," said the gcutlcmnn.
Going out of tho store, he walked to
an old Junk shop where for a smnll
sum ho purchased four horse's bits
and had them wrapped up.
Returning to the store, he deposited
the package upon the counter nnd
picked up the souvenirs with the re
mark, "I hnvc rend about the south
sea Islanders using shells nnd the In
dians using wampum, but this Is the
first tlmo 1 ever knew thnt the west
erners used bits for money." Cleve
God Bless Us Every Onel
"God bless us every one!" prayed Tiny
Crippled and dwarfed of body, yet so
Of soul wo tiptoe earth to look on him.
High towering over all.
He loved tho loveless world nor dreamed,
That It at best could glvo to him tho
But pitying glances when his only need
Was but a cheery smile.
And thus he prayed, "God bless us every
Infolding all the creeds within the span
Of his child heart, and so, despising none,
Was nearer saint than man.
James Whltcomb Blley.
Mixed His Poetry.
Mixed metaphors, absentmludcdness
and Inattention have caused many
laughable Incidents. Teachers In the
elementary grades of the public
schools especially hear many of these
One dny a bright youth in one of the
higher grades of a Kensington school
during an elocution period furnished
an addition to the long list. He mixed
up two poets with a result tUat pro
voked much laughter In the school.
He quoted, or, rnther, misquoted, as
Oh, woman, In our hours of ease.
Uncertain, coy and hard to please;
But, seeing too oft, become familiar with
We first endure, then pity, then embrace.
A New Case of English Humor.
Two southerners were entertaining
an Englishman when one of them told
the following story:
"There was a poor white in our coun
ty named Yarrow, wliom every one
thought dishonest, but who had never
been caught stealing. At last he got
too bold, nnd through the testimony of
a Mr. Brown ho was sent to jnil. Soon
nfter Yarrow served his sentence Mr.
Brown wns obliged to go to Baltimore
and have his eyes operated upon. A
much exaggerated account of the op
eration reached tho county und was
told to Yarrow.
" 'I wish tor gracious,' said that
worthy, 'that when the doctor took out
that old Brown's eyes he'd dropped
'em on the Hoof and the cat had got
At tho conclusion of the story the
other southerner laughed heartily, but
the Englishman was horrified. "Just
think," lie said, "of having n cnt in tho
room when such a serious operation
wns being performed!" Lipplncott's.
The Highest Court.
When Tom Bagnell was Justice of
the peace at Altmnu, the highest In
corporated town iu the country, stand
ing 12,000 feet above the sea level, he
had occasion to flue a disorderly char
acter $10 and costs. The victim of tho
operation of Justice objected to the
finding of the court nnd announced
that he would take an appeal.
"What! Appeal, would you?" asked
tho astonished court. "You can't come
any of that, now. This is the highest
court in the United States, and you
The Prisoner Escaped,
Old colored Joe had for many years
been man of all work for the Gor
dons. When the family moved to an.
other town Joe remained in Beading.
Several years later, when Mr. Gordou
returned to Beading on business, old
Joe heard he was in town and went
at ouco to the homo of Mr. Gordon's
Bister. They wcro at dinner, nnd at
one of the open windows Joe took his
stand, a pleased grin on his face.
After Joe had asked about each mem
ber of Mr. Gordon's family Mr, Gor
don said, "Where's Unrvo now, Joe?"
nnrvo was Joe's brother.
"lie's dald, sub," returned Joe. "A
woman in Font Smith shot him."
"What did they do to her?" asked
"They put her in tho penitentiary
fob life. She didn't stay her tlmo out,
though," said Joe.
"She didn't? Why not?" nsketl Mr.
"Sh dald," said Joe. National
A Clerical Conundrum.
Archbishop Whntcly onco asked the
question, "Why can a man never
starve lu tho great desert?" and an
swered it himself us follows: "Becnuso
ho can eat tho sand which is there.
But what brought the sandwiches
there? Why, Noah sent Ham, and his
descendants mustered and bred,"
Witness Was Forehanded and the
Lawyer Accepted Defeat.
The propensity of some lawyers to
ask witnesses questions not only Irre
levant but bordorlng on tho absurd
must hnvc been known to n humorous
fellow called as a witness in a Buffalo
court recently. His testimony had
been clear and direct tho entire ru
wns simple. In fact, but tho lawyer do
ing tho cross-examination began an
apparently endless string of. ques
"Now, exnetly how far wcro jou
from tho post to which the horse was
hitched remember, you nro on your
"Nineteen feot, seven nnd three-
quarter inchos," the witness respond
"You seem very sure of tho exnet
distance," the lawyer sneorcd. "How
do you know you wore just that dis
tance from tho post?"
"Well," tho witness replied in a
good-natured tono, "knowing that I'd
be called as a witness in this case, and
thinking it likely some fool lawyer
would ask mo Just that question, I
"Stop down!" tho lawyer growled.
Fond Mother To ho quite frank,
doctor, the poor girl has been eating
her heart out
Brusque Old Physician Ha! When
will young people learn to eat pru
dently? Church and Stable.
The new clergyman in a little
Southern town was an elderly and un
sophisticated man, Ignorant of the
fact that among his flock were many
horse-raisers. At the request of one
of his deacons, prayers were offered
on three successive Sundays for Lucy
Gray. On the fourth Sunday he was
told that the prayers might be omit
ted. "She Is not dead, I hope," said
the clergyman. "No," was the reply;
"she has won."
He Returned It.
"And so you have quarreled with
your girl, and it Is all off?" asked And
erson of Gray.
"Yes, sho has sent back all my
presents. But I got even with her. I
had no presents to return, so I sent
her a half dozen boxes of face powder,
with a note explaining that I'd taken
about that much homo on my coat
since I had known her."
Just a Theory.
Professor Suppose an irresistible
force encountered an Immovable body,
what would be tho result?
Student I don't know exactly, but
I imagine it would be something like
tho meeting of two rival Arctic ex
Mrs. Crabshaw The new girl I
have said she had taken a course In
Mrs. Crawford Is she different
from the other girls you had?
Mrs. Crabshaw Only in one way:
she wanted five dollars a month more.
A Will and A Way.
The law class wad studying wills.
"Young gentlemen," said the In
structor, "I will give you one maxim
that every lawyer needs, 'Whe-e
there's a will there's a wny' to break
C. Q. D.
Wanted A young gentleman on
the point of marrying a lovely girl
is most desirous of meeting with a
man of experience who will take tho
responsibility of dissuading him from
this dangerous step.
1 Cause for Surprise.
Bello Mr. Hugglns started to kiss
me last night.
Beulah And weren't you sur
prised? Bello I should say I was. He didn't
A Fair Offer.
Cook And sez I, "I think I'll find
Friend What did the missus say?
Cook She sez, "Bedad an' 0111
give you twenty-five dollars when yez
lave if yez don't go!" Brooklyn Life.
Dyer How long have you had your
Ilyer Twenty-five years.
Dyer Where did you got him?
Ryer From tho Duke de Broke as
security for a loan.
He Knew the Facts.
Tho Stranger (triumphantly) Four
aces, old son.
Shuffling Pete (gloomily) All
right; take the money. But I'll ba
shot If that was the hand I dealt you."
E an i mi mi hw mt .Bra
Put to the Test
EJii mi 'mi im iia mi na
"Do you believe In leap year pro
posals, Mr. Barclay?"
Eileen Mclchors brown eyes looked
mlBchlovous. If there was a dopth of
wistfulnc3S underneath the mischief,
David Barclay was not in tho mood to
"Do I bcllcva In their existence, or
in their results?" Hs smile was
somewhat scornful. "Why, I supposo
If a girl wants to ask a man to marry
her sho sometimes doos It. As for tho
result, I presume It's a question of
tomperament as to whethor ho throws
tho bait or catches It."
This wasn't nt nil what Eileen Mel-
chor meant. Her eyes grew moro
earnest "But why shouldn't a wom
an have the same right as a man, hon
estly? It's always puzzled mo ab
David Barclay laughed good-humor-
edly. "It's the propriety you're ques
tioning, Is it? Oh, you women with
your Interminable whys! Custom Is
custom, I suppose, and I fancy that's
your answer. Man began It, didn't
he? Who made tho first proposal,
Eiloen shrugged her shoulders. Evi
dently his questioning wns more ab
stract than hers. "You are making
fun of me," sho said, "and I was a lit
tle bit In earnest."
He was a chivalrous follow In spite
of his contempt for a stylo of girl
which ho thought she was affecting,
and when he detected a hurt tone In
her last words he melted nt once.
"My dear Miss Melchor," he an
Bwered. "I never make fun of honest
questions, but yours didn't sound like
"1 know it," said little Eileen, "but
I honestly wanted information and a
man's idea. Couslu Lettie and some
of her friends were talking about It
last night, and they found three cases
where tho girl had proposed to tho
man and a happy marriage had follow
ed. I've been wondering if the men
were weaker minded than the aver
age, or the women stronger minded,
or If neither of them had to be differ
ent from other people."
David Barclay was thinking. He
began to realize tho little girl beside
him waB in earnest Could she be In
love with someone of whom he did not
know nnd did sho really want bis ad
Thoy were old friends, he and she,
almost enough so for htm to ask her
why she wanted his opinion. Once,
a long time ago, he had askeTl her a
question that was more Important
than this, one that sho had not an
swered as he wished. Sho was very
young then, so young that now when
they met again after a long absence
on his part they each fancied the other
had forgotten. He found he could meet
her again calmly, even be alone with
her and act like a friend merely;
but in the depths of his heart he knew
ho had not forgotten, that he never
"Your words still surprise me some
what," ho said, and she wondered
why his voice had grown gentler, "and
yet I don't see, honestly, why the
woman shouldn't have the chance
when she wants to use It, as well as
the man. I don't think she need be
stronger minded, necessarily, nor he
of weaker character. I think they
might be Just ordinary people like, for
instance, you and me."
How had he dared? The blood
seemed to have rushed to his heart
and to be pounding there unmerciful
ly. Eileen Melchor had grown pale, or
no, was It his fancy?
"I wonder now I don't believe
the woman wouldn't havo the cour
age," sho said, and he believed her
voice trembled. "If the man didn't
care, wouldn't she Just want to dlo
of shame? Wouldn't she have to?"
"Why any more than a man In a
similar position?" he questioned. "Re
member, we were putting them on nn
"But a woman's shame is terrible,"
"A man's may bo," ho persisted.
"Don't you believe men can suffor?"
"And If a woman has made a man
Buffer, you think the man ought to be
given the same chance In the ab
stracts" "Porhaps direct, too. Why not?"
Was he helping or hindering hor?
What did she want to say?
"But men are braver than women
when It comes to putting affection to
"I'm not so sure. They have the
advantage of custom and convention
ality, A woman who dared it with
those obstacles would be far braver
than the average man."
She caught her breath sharply and
tho crimson color came sweeping over
her face and neck. "Mr. Barclay," she
said, and her voice was almost Inaudi
ble, "I I don't know how to say it
Will you marry me?"
He looked straight Into hor eyes
and kept his arms away from her by
force of will. "Yes," he said gently.
"I will. When?"
"Any any time," she faltered, and
when her eyes brimmed over and the
drops fell on her dress he knew her
woman's pride had broken for the time
being, and the love of his manhood
need be held In leash no longer. But
the thought that was in his mind
found expression in words as woll,
"You were always the dearest
woman I ever knew," he said. "Now I
know you are the bravest one."
But they both knew that she bad
been brave only because lovo had car
ried all before it and conquered tho
woman's shame in her heart before
she could show It to him. MARION
YOU SHOULD FEAR
Bowel poison means blood tainted by
foul secretions absorbed from the bowels.
Here are the symytoms:
If your skin is disfigured by eruptions,
if you itch and burn and your skin is scaly
and rough ; if you feel tired and worn out,
your nerves weak, constipated, cross and
depressed; if your head feels heavy and
aching, your eyes blur and specks float
across your vision ; u you have com leet
and your hands get sweaty and sticky If
you have these danger signals they point
unerringly to bowel poison, impure wood,
and show that your stomach, liver and
bowels are not working right.
Smiths 1'ineapplc and liuttcrnut 1'illa
quickly drive the Bowel Poison out of your
system, will regulate your bowels, puruy
your blood, and invigorate your whole body.
They arc a sure and unfailing cure for
bowel poison in young or old. Physicians
use and recommend. 1 licy lorm no habit
You should always keep them on hand.
These little Vegetable Pills will ward off
To Cure Constipation
Biliousness and Sick
Headache in a Night, use
1i iiilim .1, i uiiiuuBi,., rtryr I
00 fills In Gin VI nl 2Bc All Dealer.
For Sick Kidneys
Bladder Diseases, Rheumatism,
the one belt remedy. Reliable,
endorsed by leading phjslclans;'
safe, effectual. Results luting.
On the market It yean. Hate.
cored thousands, loo pull in
original slats package, CO cents.
Trial boxes, M pills, cents. All
druggists seU and recommend.
M. LEE BRAMAN
EVERYTHING IN LI VERY
Buss for Every Train and
Horses always for salt
Boarding and Accomodations
Prompt and polite attention
at all times.
ALLEN HOUSE BARN
For .ew Late Novelties
SPENCER, The Jewels,
"Guaranteed articles only sold."
-ajOTICE OP UNIFORM PRIMAR.
1 1ES In compliance with Sec
tion 3, of the Uniform Primary Act,
page 37, P. L., 130G, notice is here
by given to the electors of Wayne
county of tho number of delegates
to the State conventions each
party Is entitled to elect, names of
party offlces.to be filled and for what
olllces nominations are to be made
at the spring primaries to be held on
SATURDAY, JUXE 1, 1010.
1 person for Representative in
1 person for Senator in Genoral
1 person for Representative in
2 persons for delegates to the Stata
1 person to be elected Party Com
mitteeman in each election district.
1 person for Representative in
1 person for Senator In General
1 person for Representative in
1 person for Delegates to the State
1 person to be elected Party Com
mitteeman in each election district.
1 person for Representative ia
1 person for Senator In General
1 person for Representative in
3 persons for Delegates to the Stato
3 persons for Alternate Delegates
to tho State Convention.
1 person for Party Chairman.
1 person for Party Secretary.
1 person for Party Treasurer.
Petition forms may be obtained
at the Commissioners' ofllce.
Petitions for Congress, Senator
and Representative must be filed
with the Secretary of the Common
wealth on or before Saturday, May
7. 1910. Petitions for Party offi
cers, committeemen and delegates to
the state conventions must be filed
at the Commissioners' office on or
before Saturday, May 14, 1910.
J. 13. MANDEVILLE,
J. K. HORNBECK,
T, C. MADDEN,
George P. Ross, Clerk.
Honesdalo, Pa., April 4, 1910.