ran citizen, Wednesday, maiich an, nuo.
TELLS WHY F
OUR
mm
WED
Noted Comedian Takes Many
Thousand Words to Explain j
Mystery in New Book
NAT GOODWIN'S GREAT MEMOIRS
His First Wife "An Angel" Second
"Silly Fool," and Maxlne Elliott "a
Joan with Nero-like Ambition"
Fourth Makes Him Most Happy.
JDOOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOODOOG
My first wife was an angel
My second a silly fool.
My third a "Roman Senator."
My fourth makes me superla
tlvely Happy.
NAT C. GOODWIN.
Eliza Weatherby married me
for love.
Mrs. Nella Baker Pease to get
out of the vortex of society Into
the artistic life of Bohemia.
Maxine Elliott was prompted
by ambition.
Edna Goodrich well, because
I didn't bore her.
NAT C. GOODWIN.
OCCCCCCCCCCCCCCOCCCCCCO
I.os Angeles, Cnl. Nnt C. Goodwin,
comedian, mining promoter, world
traveller and married man. has turned
author. While spending the season
here he has written a hook.
The introductory chapter deals with,
the surroundings of his present homo.
Here is a sample paragraph from tho
opening page:
"Here 1 am confronted by the sea.
Back of nie are the roses and on either
Bide of the blue-brown mountains hold
converse with the sun and stars and
dipping their august heads In silent
acqulesence of the eternal greatness."
Going fcome, oh. as a handy llttlo
describer of the beauties of nature?
But .Mr. Goodwin's book Is not a book
on landscape gardening or the care of
lawns. He calls it "Why Four Beauti
ful Women Married Me."
Their Respective Qualities.
It takes him a good many thousand
words -to explain why four beautiful
women did marry him. but, summing
up his conclusions in his foreword, ho
puts it thus:
"Eliza Weathcrsby married me for
love.
"Mrs. Nella Baker Peaee to get out
of the vortex of society into the artis
tic life of Bohemia.
"Maxlne Elliott was prompted by.
ambition.
"Edna Goodrich well, because I
didn't bore her."
Tribute to No. 1.
In his domestic retrospections Mr.
Goodwin takes up his wives In their
proper order. To No. 1 he devotes
considerable space. Here is one para
graph embodying a tribute to liltza
Weathersby. tho young English ac
tress, who became his bride In 1877:
"She was one of the most beautiful
women I ever knew and one of the
most self sacrificing wives that ever
blessed man with her devotion and
love. Now she is at Woodlawn and the
daisies grow over her grave."
Wife No. 2 doesn't fare so well, as
witness the following:
"Boor thing! She abandoned tho
glitter and glare of the world of fash
Ion to seek refuge In n bosom of Bo
hemia. She extricated herself from
the vortex of society to get a glimpse
of life real life. The pet of drawing
rooms, she became the wife of a come
dian She sought the atmosphere of
Henri Murger, but found it not."
No. 3 a Joan of Arc.
"Hers was the ambition of a Cleo
patra. She used my nnatomy as n lad
der to reach her goal, and found her
crowning glory In the blinding glare
of a myriad incandescent lights that
spelled her uame over tho portals of a
New York theatre. She was one of
the cleverest women I ever mot. Her
dignity was that of a Joan of Arc; her
demeanor, Noro-ltke In its assertive
qualities and yet with channels of
emotion that manifested womanhood
in the truest sense of the word."
Tho chapter which deals with wife
No. 4 Edna Goodrich on the stage
is not yet completed, but Mr. Goodwin
admits that he Is thinking up all man
ner of beautiful thoughts to be em
balmed in print touching on the beau
ty, sense and sweotnoss of tho present
Incumbent.
The hook is studded with epigrams
of Mr. Goodwin's own coinage. This is
a sample:
"No self-respecting American citi
zen should take advantage of the un
written law. If a man steals your
wife don't kill him, caution him."
When complimented upon his protty
home on the seashore and upon tho
'Ideal life resulting therefrom, Mr.
Goodwin said: "I have always been
long In the mnrket on homes and
wife. I believe no home Is complete
without a wife, provided she Is tha
kind that will enjoy the company of
Intelligent, honest and clever people.
Some men lease their mates for a cer
tain time and prate upon their respec
tability, but I could not fancy a homo
with a mate whose presence there
would preclude the visits of my moth
er. I think this is the philosophy of
life. Nothing can he destroyed untt
It la built. The true philosophy of IfTb
Is to achieve something and then for-
It."
1.0 iFM RACE. HE SAYS
Prof. Schmidt Declares That the Anci
ent Hebrew Is Not the Mod
ern Jew's Ancestor.
Ithaca, N. Y. The current Idea
that there Is a Jewish race Is erron
eous, said Prof. Nathaniel Schmidt of
Cornell University, a teacher in Orien
tal history nnd Semitic Inngunges dis
cussing the qnestlon of whether tho
modern Jew Is descended from n dis
tinct nnd separate family. "The Mod
ern Jew," ho declared, "Is. not de
scended from the nncicnt Hebrew, and
cannot ho r.'iown to have been so In
history. There are no common physi
cal or linguistic characteristics."
Continuing, ho says: "There Is an
impression that there Is a Jewish raco
descended from a separate family pos
sessing certain physical, psychical,
nnd linguistic characteristics, but this
Ir entirely orroneous. In both nuclent
nnd modem times there wns extensive
assimilation; the masses in the Blblo
times intermarried frequently; In
fact, tho kings and pr'ojts had no
scruples about Intcrmnrriogo.'nnd this
nsslmilntiou had much to do with do-siroj-ilig
lace homogeneity.
"Tho Jews in Southern Uttssla, for
Instance, nit not descondnnts of anci
ent f'ebrevs The pagan chazars,
who lived on the banks of 'he Caspian
and disappeared from history In tho
n'lith century were compelled to ndopt
smc form of morothelsm and em
braced Judaism. Theo people inter
married freely with Polish Jews nnd
formed tho basis for the present Jew
ish population in Southern Hu3sia.
' Pertain traits in tho life of Jews
n'f'-o it possible to speak of them as
a Jewish people. From Isaiah, Jero-
m'ah, and Jesus to Karl Marx and La-!
snKe they have shown a tremendous j
passion- for justice. The Jew, too, Is ,
cosmopolitan, thinking in terms of
humanity, nnd, lastly, tho Jew has a
prophetic Instinct. j
"The Jew. however, makes lump
Jt'i'Tiients. The old prophets criti
cised the people: Karl Marx con
demned the whole capitalistic class."
HYENA FOILED BY LION.
K.ng of Beasts Upsets Cage on Beast
That Menaced Keeper.
Oxford, Pa. Attacked from behind
by a hyena, which had escaped from,
his temporary cage, Capt. Snider, an
animal trainer with Wheeler's circus,
wns rescued in a most peculiar man
ner by a Hon.
Capt. Snider was eating breakfast
when the hyena sprang upon hlra, 1
knocking him down. As he went down
the trainer had tho presence of mind
to lie perfectly still. !
Ho lay this way for about five min
utes, when help came from .a most un-,
expected quarter. j
The big Hon that was caged close
by, although supposedly untamable,
having a record of killing two keepers
and seriously injuring two others, had
taken a decided fancy to Capt. Snider.
This animal had seen the attack by
the hyena and tried to get out of tho
cage which imprisoned him. This was
Impossible, but he did the only remain- (
lng thing to rescuo his keeper. Crouch
ing in one corner of the cage, he
sprang with terrific force to tho other
side, upsetting the heavy cage upon I
the crouching hyena, pinning It to tho
ground.
HAD TO LOSE BEARD.
Banker Looked Like Abdul Hamld
and Was Warned to Shave. I
Bucharest. The director of a Rou
manian bank, hnving to visit Con3tan- j
tlnople a few days ago, found on ar- j
riving there that the authorities in
sisted ' that be should shave' oft hl3
beard. I
Expostulating, he was informed !
that his beard was of exactly tho !
same shape as that of Abdul Hamld,
the ex-Sultan, nnd that since many
supporters of the old regime wear
their beards thus he might be taken
for a reactionary and expelled from
Constantinople. Thus it was for his
own good that the authorities wished
to shave him, On this explanation
the hanker consented to the sacrifice.
FLATFOOT. NATIONAL ILL.
Dr. Osgood at Harvard Declares It the
Great American Disease.
Boston. "Flr.tfoot has become the
great American dlsparo," said Dr.' K.
C. Osgood at his Harvard Medical
School lecture.
"American physicians," continued
Dr. Osgood, "have given special study
to diseases of the feot. Perhaps the
focusing of attention on the subject
has increased foot discomfort."
Burled with $8,000.
Agram, Hungary. At Bosna-Brod
there died recontly a rich peasant,
Nlcodemus Vnlntl, nnd ho wns burled
In his best Sunday suit. A week after
ward his heirs found his will, which
stated that Vnlntl's money had been
sewn up in the lining or this suit.
After much troubio tho heirs induced
the biBhop of tho diocese to permit the
body to be exhumed, and this wns
dono In the presence of the local offi
cials. The money, amounting to some
18,000, was found IntacL
This 40-Cent Menu Won Prlxe.
Chicago. Twenty thousand women
tried for a prize offored by a morning
newspaper In a menu contest for the
best forty-cent dinner for four people.
Mrs. Frank Leslie Eldridgo carried off
the laurels. Tho following is her
menu: Vermicelli soup, bread and
butter, veal fricassee, mashed pota
toes, Dutch slaw, baked apple, coffee.
I-l--l-M-4--W--4---M--M--lI-
I Household
i.
DEVICE FOR EMPTYING TUB.
Makes Unnecessary the Carrying of
Water to Sink by Pailful.
Tho lifting of tho tubful of water is
often a physical Impossibility, and tho
carrying of the wnter from tho tub to
the sink by the pailful Is a ttrosomo
tnsk. If the house be provided with
running water at the sink, a very sim
ple contrlvanco may be devised for
utilizing tho city water pressure for
tho emptying of the tub. By providing
n simple form of ejector nt tho faucet
nnd connecting one Inlet of the ejector
to n short piece of ho3c lending to tho
sink, tho wnter mny be easily drawn
out of the tub Into tho sink, even
though the lntter be at a higher elc
vntlon. In the accompanying sketch,
there Is shown n simple contrivance
of this character, in which the ejector
Handy Method of Emptying a TuH.
Is formed of a block of wood adapted
to be detachably secured to the faucet.
The ejector Includes two passages In
tersecting at an angle and having a
common outlet as shown in section in
Fig. 2. One of these passages re
ceives a stream of water under pres
sure from the faucet, and the escape
of this water from the lower end of
the ejector tends to draw water out
of the tub through the ho3e and to de
liver the latter' to the sink.
The same device may be used for
refilling the tub. To secure this ob
ject, it Is merely necessary to close
the lower end of tho ejector with a
plug or In any other suitable manner.
As shown, a Short rubber plug Is con
nected to a strap tacked to one side
of 'he block. By inserting the plub
within the open lower end of the pas
sage and securing the free end of tho
strap to a button on the opposite Fide
of the block, as shown In dotted lines,
the water will be caused to flow from
the faucet down through one passago
and up through the other to the hoso
and thence to the wathtub.
Some Catsup Ways.
In making catsup of tomatoes, use
as little spices as possible, especiallly
those that darken the color, such as
cloves and allspice. A writer in Farm
and Fireside gives the following way
to make red catsup: Get a common
soap-shaker, to be had for ten cents
at the department stores, and put
your whole spices In this, and drop it
Into the boiling catsup. The perfora
tions are small enough to retain tho
spices, but allow their strength to
pass to the catsup. It Is said the red
color will be preserved.
Another way to make the catsup is
to boil the tomatoes until soft, with
slices of onions and salt, to tste, then
rub through n sieve to remove the
skins and seeds, and boll down until
thick. Boll up the vinegar once, with
sugar and ground cinnamon to taste,
mix with the thickened tomato pulp
and seal up In small bottles while boil
ing hot.
In making catsup, or any other rel
ish, only the porcelain-lined or enameP
ed ware vessels should bo used never
tin, nor iron, nor chipped or cracked
agate, enameled or porcelain-lined, as
the contents coming In contact with
the inner metal of tho vessel, will be
Injured,
Home-Made Citron.
A fair substitute for the commer
cial citron may be made from tho com
mon citron melon. Take a sound, ripo
melon, cut into pieces of convenient
size and let stand In alum water over
night a piece of alum the size of a
walnut to a gallon of water. In the
morning drain through a colander,
and rinse with clear water poured
over It. Put over the fire In clear wa
ter and boll until tender. Allow a
pound of sugar to a pint of tho water
In which the melon Is boiled, nnd cook
the fruit until It Is transparent and
the syrup very thick. Leave In tho
sy-up for four days, then boll up
again, adding a llttlo water If the sy
rup Is too heavy. Uopeat the pro
cess again, and thou take the fruit out
of tho syrup, lay on the plates to drain,
sprinkle with sugar and dry In the hot
sunshine or In a slow oven until like
the Important article. Pack between
layers of parafllne paper, and sprinkle
well with sugar.
Two Good Recipes.
Here are two recipes, one for cur
ing pimples nnd the other for remov
ing blackheads.
Pimples.
Beta-naphthol . . , 6 grains
Oil of chamomile 5 drops.
Ointment of benzoatcd
oxide of zinc 1 ounce.
Use on the surface.
Blackheads of the Skin.
Bornclc acid 2 drams.
Alcohol 2 ounces.
Rosewater 4 ouuce.i.
Use with friction twice a day on tho
skin affected.
Many of the now camisoles hare
sleeves that come to the elbow and
can be worn as slips under transpar
ent blouses.
1 A.i
PROFESSIONAL BY-PLAY.
Lawyer Got Paid Back In His Own
Sarcastic Coin.
Most lawyers tnko a keen delight
trying to confuse medical oxports In
the witness box ti murder trlnls, and
often they got paid back In their own
coin. A ense is recalled whore the
lawyer, after exorcising all his tang
ling tactics without o'ffect, looked quiz
zically at the doctor who was testify
ing and said:
"You will admit that doctors some
times mnko mistakes, won't you?"
"Oh, yes; the same na lawyers," wns
the cool reply.
"And doctors' nilstnkes nre burled
six feet undor ground," wns the law
yer's triumphant roply.
"Yes." he replied, "nnd tho lawyers'
mistakes often swing In tho air."
WISE GIRL.
Tom What! You're going to mar
ry Tom Speed? Why, he's awful!
Carrie What makes you think so?
Tom I hear he's been blackballed
by every club In town.
Carrie Yes, I heard so, too. That
sort of husband won't have much ex
cuse for staying out at .nights, will
he?
Kinder Mad.
Steve Long Is noted for attending to
his .own business and saying veny lit
tle about It. One morning an Inquisi
tive neighbor met him returning from
the woods with his gun over his shoul
der. "Hello, Steve. Where ye been? A
fhootln'?" -"Yep."
"What ye been a-shootln'?"
"Dog."
"Yer dog? My! Was he mad?"
"Wall, he didn't look so danged
well pleased."
Great Operation.
A baseball player had two fingers
of his right hand pretty badly bungled
up In practice, and on his way home
from the grounds he dropped into a
doctor's office to have them attended
to.
"Doctor," he asked anxiously as he
was leaivng, "when this paw of mine
heals will I be able to play the piano?"
"Certainly you will," the doctor as
sured him.
"Well, then, you're a wonder, Doc.
I never could before."
Take Her Choice.
"You know tho engagement between
Jack and myself Is off, and I asked
him to' send back my presents nnd a
lock' of my hair that I gave hlra."
"Well?"
"Well, he sent a servant this morn
ing with a large packet containing In
numerable locks of hair from gray to
flaxen, raven to red, with a message
that I could choose from among them
my own property!"
Johnny and the Whale.
Mother Johnny, you said you'd
been to Sunday-school.
Johnny (with a far-away look)
Yes, mamma.
Mother How does it hanpen that
your hands smell of fish?
Johnny I carried home the Sun
day school paper, an' the outside page
is all about Jonah and the whale.
Make-Up of the Tailor.
It requires tho originality of n geni
us, tho wisdom of a philosopher, the
brains of an Inventor and tho tnct of
a diplomatist to mnko a success in (he
tailoring trade. To bring about a re
storation of color and grace In men's
clothing will need tho qualities of a
hero and a martyr.
Willie and Noises.
Willie, the minister's son, was en
Joying' himself hugely playing on his
new drum. It annoyed his Up-to-date
mamma, who said persuasively: "Wil
lie, do you like to nnnoy mamma and
make such a noise?" "Well," said
Willie, "I like all noises, "cept sing
in' noises and preachfn' noises."
"Nuff 8ald."
Brown What did your wife say
about your being so late home the
other night?
Jones Nothing at all. She just sat
down at the piano and played "Tell
me the old, old story."
Defined.
"Father," said little Rollo, "what
Is meant by 'a Sabbath day's Jour
ney?' "
"I am afraid, my son, that In many
cases it meant twlco around the golf
links."
A Question of Years.
Stella Is she In her declining
years?
Bolla Noj her aecepUnj; years.
ft
Legal Amenities,
Several decades ago there lived In
Charleston, W. Vu n Judge noted for
his boorish manners. A very finical
lawyer, whom he especially disliked,
wns once trying a case before him,
nnd all the while tho barrister spoke,
the Judge sat with Ills feet elevated
on tho railing In front of him. hiding
tils face. ,
Pxasperated by this the lawyer
it: dried:
"May I nsk which on or your honor
um to address?"
"Whichever you choose," drawled
lie Judge.
"Well," was the retort, "I suppose
hero Is ns much law In one end as
he other."
True Christianity.
He that hath creeds and hate Is
tirther from righteousness than he
hat hath love and no i reid. Nobler
is ho that glvoth the tt oughts or all
Ms days tc thee than he that spend
eth every Sab'jath on !!:- knees in
church and defraudi "-. hi neighbor
habitually. From I'm'' i f the West
I MARTIN CAUFIELD 1
H
It
l . Designer and Man- H
if ufacturer of
ARTISTIC
MEMORIALS
Office and Works
1036 MAIN ST.
I H0NESDALE, PA. 11
ABANK WITH A
SURPLUS EARNED IN
FOUR YEARS
Are You One of the 3,553 Depositors
Doing business at the
HONESDALE DIME BANK?
If not, Ihe opportunity awaits you to open an ac
count now.
Start the idle money you have at your home to earn
ing interest.
If you have a small bank, bring or send It to ,us at
once. Put your idle money at work.
If you wish to make a loan on your farm or house
or to borrow some money call at the Dime Bank.
Business and Savings Accounts Solicited.
Wayne County money for Wayne Counteans.
D. & tl. CO. TIHE TABLE
A.M.
SUN
A.M.I
A.M
A.M.
P.M.
SUN
8 30
If 00
10 00
10 00
4 30!..
6 Ool .
A.M. -2
15'.
. Albanr
HIiiL'liamton
is oe
a is
12 30;
8 30
Philadelphia....
ia
2 OS
7 25
4 40
5 30
1 20
7 IW. .
-'A
8 15
2 OS
P.M.
A.M,
P.M
P.M,
A.M.
f.v
5 40
5 SO
!( 15
9 15
!t lit
u :u;
9 42
11 4S
6 20
ti 30
2 05
2 15
2 1!)
S 45i
8 55!
8 fiitl
0 18'
.. .C'atbondale ....
.Lincoln Avenue..
Whites
. ...I'arview
Caiiuuu
. f.nko Ixxlore ...
... Wnymart
Keene
Steeno
. .Prompted
Kortcnln
....eeelyvlllc
. . Honesdule ....
5 54
ti 11
li 17
ti 34
r. 62
a 5s
2 37
2 43
9 211.
9 as' .
9 32
9 371.
a ;
j 4:11 .
9 47 .
II 60 .
9 55l
(i 23
li 2ti
fi :e
h :
u 39
e 4:t
n 4t;
(i DU
7 04
7 07
7 13
2 411,
II 51
9 57
2 5':
2 57!
2 69,
10 00
7 it:
10 04
7 20
7 24
7 27
3 0.1
10 OS
3 07
3 10
3 15
10 11
10 15
7 31
P.M.
A.M.I
I
P.M.
P.M.jA.M.jAr
The Era of New Mixed Paints !
Tins year opons witn a delugo of now mixed paints. A con
dition brought about by our enterprising dealers to get some kind
of a mixed paint that would supplant CHILTON'S MIXED
PAINTS. Their compounds, being new and heavily advertised
may find a sale with the unwary.
THE ONIV PIjACE IN HONESDALiE
AUTHORIZED TO HANDLE
Is JADWIN'S PHARMACY.
There are reasons for tho pro-eminence of OHILTON PAINTS
1st No one can mix a better mixed paint.
2d Tho painters declare that it works easily and has won
dorful covoring qualities.
3d Chilton stanJs back of it, and will agree to repaint, at his
own oxpenso.overy surface painted with Chilton Paint that
proves defective.
4th Thoso who have used it are perfectly satisfied with it,
and recommend its use to others.
aTIUIVAL AND DEPARTUHH OF
EHIB TKAINB.
Trains leave at 8:1 a. u. and
MI r. ra.
Builays at 2:41 p. m.
Tralas arrive at 1:40 and 8:08
p. xa.
Saturdays, arrives at SMS nnd
leaves at 7:10.
Sundays at 7:02 p. ra.
NOTICE OF INCORPORATION
Notice Is hereby given that n
application will be mnde to the
Governor of the Commonwealth of
Pennsylvania, on 24th day of March,
1910, by Jacob P. Katz, W. J. Kati
and Leon Katz, under the Act of
Assembly approved April 20, 1874,
entitled "An Act to provide for the
incorporation and regulation of cer
tain corporations" nnd the supple
ments thereto, for the charter of an
intended corporation to bo called
"KATZ BROTHERS, INCORPORAT
ED," the character nnd object of
which Is "buying nnd selling mer
chandise, goods nnd wnres of all
kinds, at wholesale and retail and
for these purposes to have, possess,
nnd enjoy all the rights, benefits and
privileges of said Adt of Assembly
and supplements thereto,
E. C. MUMFORD,
Solicitor.
Ilonesdale, Pa.. Feb. 28, 1910.
l:or .New Late Novelties
-IN
JEWELRY
SILVERWARE
WATCHES
Tryv
SPENCER, The Jeweler
"Guaranteed articles only sold."
GROWING RECORD
$
37,500
HONESDALE BRANCH
P.M.
A.M
P..iA..M.
isun Sun
10 60
j
I 7 31 7 32
' 2 251 P M.
; 1 351 10 05
P M. PM.
2 00
12 40
10 50
8 45
3 63
'31
7 32
A .M
1' M.
Wilkea-Ilarrc....' 10 20
....Scrnnton I 9 37
4 05
3 15
7 15
H 20
Ar A.M.
p.m.ip.m
8 05
1 35
1 25
1 21
1 in
12 Cti
5 40
5 30
5 21
5 OS
i 12 17
I 12 07
1 12 Ul
11 441
11 371
8 29
8 17
8 13
754
7 47
7 41
7 39
7 32
730
7 till
7 22
7 19
7 15
7 54
7 50
7 331
7 25
7 19
5 01
5 5ti
4 5I1
4 48,
4 45,
4 4l
4 37!
4 34
4 30
12 51
I 11 31
7 1
12 49
12 4.1
' 11 29
, 11 -I
11 20
7 12
7 l
7 05
12 41
12 38
12 32l
11 III
7 0
. 11 12
I II 09
11 05
6 68
G 55
12 29,
12 23
I.v,A..M. P.M.jP.M
A M.,P M.
CHILTON'S MIXED PAINTS