OrRSDT, FRIDAY, DEO. 81, 1809.
FIGURES THAT DO NOT DEPRESS.
The popular magazines have late
ly been opprest with the notion that
there Is something wrong with the
churches. One of these has publish
ed a symposium on the subject,
"What Is the Matter with the
Churches?" to which a large number
of prominent ministers have con
tributed their answers. Of course
the replies are various, and most of
them contain or imply an admission
that something Is wrong somewhere,
but the composite result is not un
animous. The Western Methodist
Little Rock) retorts with a story of
Benjamin Franklin who "asked a
party of wise men why a tub of wa
ter weighing, say, 75 pounds, would
weigh no more If a 10-pound fish
should be placed In it." This ques
tion was learnedly discussed with all
possible pros and cons, after which
Franklin said: "Gentlemen, are you
sure the tub will not weigh 10
pounds more?" This Methodist
Journal takes up the role of Franklin
with the assistance of the recently is
sued bulletin of the United States
Census Dureau covering the religious
statistics of the country. It gives us
such fact and comment as this:
"The bulletin deals with member
ship figures and other figures only as
they apply to the United States
does not consider statistics of the
missions of the several churches In
other lands; and the bulletin covers
the years 1890-1906, sixteen years,
1906 being the latest year for which
the bureau had gathered statistics.
If the enterprising editor of The De
lineator had seen this bulletin bo
forehand, he probably would not
have sent out his question.
"Now, the census bulletin shows
that as a matter of fact the growth
of the churches Is considerably in ad
vance of the growth of the popula
tion. During the years considered
the population of the country in
creased 33.8 per cent., while the
churches increased 60.4 per cent. In
1890 the churches held in their mem
bership 32.7 per cent, of the whole
population; in 1906 they held 39.1
per cent. During the sixteen years
the church-buildings increased 35.3
per cent., and the value of church
property increased 85.1 per cent.
The Roman Catholics made the heav
iest gain, showing an increase of 93.5
per cent., while the Protestant bodies
showed an increase of 44.8 per cent.
The Catholics have been aided, of
course, immensely by Immigration,
But more than one-half of all the re
ligious organizations of the country
are still In the hands of the Metho
dists and the Baptists, to say nothing
of other Protestant denominations.
This does not look like the churches
are dying. We might add that eight
new church-buildings per day are be
ing added to the equipment of the
churches. The Manufacturers' Rec
ord (Baltimore) has Just given out
the statement that during the first
ten months of the present year the
South has put $13,000,000 into
church-buildings."
Another fact, we read, and one.
"which may surprise some who have
been having so much to say about
the dearth of preachers is that the
proportion of preachers to the num
ber of members rose considerably
during the sixteen years." Further:
"In 1890 there was one preacher
for every 185 members, while in
lb 06 there was one for every 139
members.
"While we are on this subject of
church statistics, we will notice an
other phase. The Baptist brethren
are certainly doing well. The figures
show that taking all the Baptist bod
ies together they have gained during
the sixteen years 52.5 per cent.,
about twice the gain of the Metho
dist bodies. The Baptist Watchman
thinks that these figures would indi
cate that the Baptists are the largest
church In the country. We congratu
late our Baptist brethren and wish
them mighty well. But they need
not to be too quick to assume that
they are the greatest body of Pro
testants in this country. The facts
are that the Methodist Episcopal
church gained 33 per cent.; the
Methodist Episcopal Church, South,
gained over 35 per cent.; that these
two churches show an actual Increase
during the sixteen years of 1,174,304,
against the actual increase of the
Southern Baptist Convention, the two
corresponding white churches, of
981,485."
APPLES.
At a land and irrigation show held
in Chicago, one of the visitors, an
ex-Congressman from Iowa, waxed
eloquent over the apple exhibit.
"The second most beautiful thing in
the world," said the gallant Iowlan
"Is a ripe apple."
The love of apples is by no means
confined to ex-Congressmen. There
are a lot of everyday Americans
whose heartstrings twine round the
Northern Spy, whoso souls thirst for
the Juicy Astrachdn. The steaming
dumpling, sweet and palatable and in
digestible, has become a familiar part
of the autumn landscape.
As years go, 1909 was a great year
for apples. Thirty-five million bar
rels Is the latest estimate for the
United States and Canada twelve
million more than In the previous
year. Most of the Eastern States
have shown gains, the West has pro
duced a better quality, and the South
ern States have doubled last year's
yield.
Yet there Is something vitally
wrong with the apple situation. In
sects, tree diseases, produce dealers
and railroads have conspired to pre
vent the general use of this fruit as
food in our large cities. Within the
boundaries of one of our great apple
growing States the resident of the
Metropolis delivers up five cents for
one apple polished on the sleeve of
an Italian vendor, and sighs for the
AtytPvt apple wealth back on the
BEAN FAMINE IN BOSTON.
Ia Relieved by Big Importation of
10,000 Bushels Straight From
England.
Borne to the hotbed of Yankeedom
from the shores of perfidious Albion
In preparation for the proverbial hard
winter, the succulent but common
bean, the pride of Boston and the
Joy of New England, has arrived 10,
000 bushels strong In Boston harbor
aboard the good ship Anglian, and
the threatened danger of a bean fam
ine has been averted, says the Boston
Post. The Boston baked bean, fresh
from England, is ready to start out
on its annual peregrination to New
Hampshire, where it is eaten with a
dash of catsup, and tar Vermont,
where It Is consumed with stewed
tomatoes and cream cheese; to
Maine, where it is considered a deli
cacy if served with oil and vinegar,
and to Rhode Island, where Chill
sauce Is thought indlspenslble; to
Connecticut, where It is eaten with
whatever is in the ice chest, and to
Pennsylvania, where sugar or mo
lasses Is what is most desired.
Most nourishing of all earthly
fruits, the Boston baked bean, fresh
from England, stands ready for the
Saturday night sacrifice and the Sun
day morning rowarmlng. Ready to
turn Itself looso from the uppormost
boundary of Maino to tho lowor
boundary lino of Connecticut, and
then some, tho product of England
and the prldo of Boston Hob packed
In Its little burlap bags.
In New England they will bo cook
ed in beanpots. Everywhere else
throughout the country they will be
cooked In tin pans.
Wherever they are served voices
will rend the air every Saturday night
night and every Sunday morning,
saying: "Why on earth can't you
learn to cook these beans the way
that my grandmother used to cook
them?"
Brownbread, steaming hot, luke
warm or clammy cold, will garnish
the plate beside them. Plate after
plate will be tucked beneath the belts
of thousands upon thousands of true
Americans. Boarding house mis
tresses all over the country will tell
tho boarders that they are more
nourlsiiing than the finest beefsteak.
Boarders In the same places will take
exception to the statement.
Somo of the beans will be soggy
and gummed together in an adhesive
mass. Some will be Juicy and swim
ming In brown "liquor." Those who
get the juicy ones will want the soggy
kind, while those who receive the ad
hesive variety will lift their voices
In protestation and demand that in
the future their beans be served wet.
Many a New England boy will cry
for more beans of a Saturday night
and will be told that he can have
"just three beans" and no more. And
In many a happy home there will be
many a fond mother and father who
awake from slumber in the still
watches of Sunday morning and wish
that they had had followed the ad
vice they gave their offspring.
On New Year's Day many a small
boy will step furtively into a grocery
store and ask for a bag full of "Bos
ton baked beans, uncooked," and
now, thanks to the Imports from
England, his request will be readily
granted.
From Maine to California, from
Seattle to El Paso, from the Great
Lakes to the Gulf, in Hawaii and the
Philippines, wherever in the world a
Yankee has his home, there shall be
a bean night, and that bean night
shall be Saturday. Wherever the
Stars and Stripes of the national em
blem flap deliriously In the breezes
of heaven, whether on tho land or on
the high seas, there shall be a weekly
bean-eating rite, sacred and inviolate.
Up from the bean barrel, out of the
big paper bag, bought In small lots
from the grocer, purveyed ready-to-serve
from the bakery, canned to the
hand with pork on top, the tiny but
omnipresent bean shall be devoured
at stated periods by every American
worthy of the name.
And wherever the consumer dwells
the beans shall be known as the Bos
ton baked bean.
And the Boston baked bean comes
from England.
REWARD FOR SNAKE.
It has been said by many that
Monroe and Pike counties were noted
for Democrats and rattlesnakes which
were their principal products. If
this is true there is an opportunity
for somo one in these counties to se
cure the ?50 reward offered by State
Zoologist Surface for a horned snake.
Some one who had been drinking a
bad quality of liquor declared that
he had seen a horned snake and
Prof. Surface, who Is deeply inter
ested in animal life, has been very
anxious to secure a specimen ever
since, but without success. Many
different varieties have been sent the
department presided over by this
gentleman, but none have come up to
what would be accepted by the gen
eral public as a horned Bnake. In
consequence he has offered a cool
half hundred of Uncle Sam's dollars
for one. Here's a chance for re
search In snakeology and make a lit
tle pin money on the side. Ye snake
fiends get busy. Ex.
It Is peculiarly strange that so
many people mentally associate Dem
ocrats and snakes with all horned
species, and Monroe and Pike coun
ties as places where they mingle.
CASTOR I A
Ter InSuits and CMldrts.
!JwKW Yh Hni Always Butft
REFORM BEGUN
AND ENDED.
"MOW, Nancy, dear, the comin'
11 year,"
Quoth Jarley to his wife,
"let's try and see if yon an' me
Can't live a peaceful life.
We've jawed an' fit like the old split
Sence last year fast begun.
But my mind's tot next year our
lot
Xnit be a pleasant one."
NOW, NAN OT, SKAB."
"AH, well and good, and so it
v should,"
His worthy spouse replied.
"I'm sure that peaee should never
cease
In this house to abide.
'Twixt you and me I can't quite see
Why trouble need creep in,
And for my part I've got the heart
To do the best I kin."
VES, yes, I know you alius show
A very willin' heart,
An' when there's work you never
shirk,
But alius do your part.
But, tell me now, when ther's a row
Who alius does begin?
An' tell me, too I dar' ye to
Who alius must gin in?"
"WHO AIiIiCS DOBS BKODf."
0W, Jabez, sho! You'd1 otter
know
That ain't no way to talk.
I never seen a man so mean,
Not by a good, long chalk.
You have your say and have your
way,
Let come what will to me,
And when I try to argufy
You never will agree!"
"IWELL, well there now, by gum,
" I vow
If thafdon't beat me out!"
And Jarley roared a big cuss word
That put his wife to rout.
But as she fled she turned her head
And hissed most spitefully,
"Jahe Jarley, you your whole life
through
A sinful brute will be !"
"A SINFUL BnUTE WHiIi DHl"
'THUS do we see how speedily
Good resolutions fail
How weak the mind of human kind
When inner foes assail,
On New Year's day it is 'our way
Our failings we arraign,
But ere the year does disappear
We often fail again.
Frank B. Weloh.
- New Year's Calls.
"Madam," began the red nosed tramp,
"this Is Just a little New Year's call,
and"
"And so Is this," Interrupted the
farmer's wife as she came out into the
yard. "Here, Tigel Here, Tlge!" she
called. "Sick 'em, Tigel"
And the caller and the called disap
peared In the distance.
i
An Impossible Combination,
They wero talking of the strange
sights to bo seen in a great city, and
one man paid his tribute to New York.
"I' don't believe one of you could
think of any combination of circum
stances that hasn't at some time oc
curred on the streets there," he said.
"I reckon I know of one that's nev
er occurred there," said Hiram Fowle.
"What's that?" asked the other,
curiously. .
"I guess," said Hiram, rlowly, "that
ron've never seen, nor ever will see,
a brass band going in one direction
an' the heft of .the folks going the
other."
The Mind's Power.
"Zola," said a psychologist, "once
wrote in a lady's album that his fav
orite amusement was writing and his
favorite wish a sudden death. Zola
died suddenly.
"And It Is a strange thing," said the
psychologist, "that those who prefer
a sudden death usually have their
preference gratified. It Is one of those
things which go to show the mind's
mysterious power. Who knows but It
Is this very desire for death, quick,
painless, undreaded, which actually
causes that happy kind of death? The
clnd, you know, has a power that we
have only Just begun to understand."
The Way of the Reformer.
Every new truth which affects life
must pass through a period In which
It In hated before It attains the per
iod In which It is loved. What people
dread is change; what they wish Is to
bo let alone. They will kill the re
former, If they can, and only those
reformers who refuse to be killed, but
who for years together go on savage
ly, patiently, tenderly reiterating the
same message, in the end have their
way, and are believed. Rev. Elwood
Worcester's "The Emmanuel Move
ment" In the Century.
Castor Oil the Cure-AII.
In hot spells castor oil Is the !:irg
cure-all.
A HOLIDAY GIFT.
Can you find a more fitting or more use
ful gift for wife or child than one of oiir Sav
ings Pass Books?
Along with this beautiful Household
Bank from the
HONESDALE DIME BANK
HONESDALE, PA.
II Apetfett Remedy for Oowflr f IftfT
I . Uoh,SourStom.DUrrtoa N m
m WorrasjConvulskrasfevErisfr Jf rfSf
111 rum mid LOSS OP SLEEP. ; V I Ul
ITacShnfe Signature oT
Kmc Copy.rqf,,Wppsr.
SHOWS NO IMPROVEMENT.
"I don't see that her college educa
tion has improved her much."
"No?"
"No. She helps her mother with
the housework Just as if she hadn't
been educated." Detroit Free Press.
Parlous Times.
"A man has to draw it fine these
days."
"What do you mean?"
"Staying tun minutes after office
hours each day will probably make n
good Impression, but staying fifteen
Is liable to excite suspicion that you
are monkeying with tho books."
Modern Society.
A 8afer Job.
"So you don't guide hunting-parties
any more 7" asked the stranger.
"Nope," said the guide. "Got tired
of being mistook for a deer."
"How do you earn a living now?"
"Guide flshln'-partles. So tar, no
body ain't mistook me fer a fish."
Weather Changed.
It had been raining steadily, and
the four-year-old had resigned him
self to looking. out the window. Sud
denly out came the sun. "Well," ex
claimed he, "there's the sun I Isn't
God a caution?" The Delineator.
In
Use
Over
Thirty Years
CASTORIA
VHm MUTMni mbhmvt mww tvwh wvtt
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Bears the Ay .
. . I,. .'11 1 ' '
PROFESSIONAL, CARDS.
AttrcYS-at-Law.
H WILSON,
. ' ATTORNEY A COUNBKLOE-AT-LAVf.
Office, Masonic building, second floer
Honesdaie. Pa.
WM. H, LEE,
ATTORNEY A COUNBKLOE-AT-LAW
Office over post office. All lesal buslneis
promptly attended to. Honesdaie, Pa.
In O. MUMFORD,
!i. ATTORNEY A COUN8ELOII-AT-LAW,
Office Liberty Hall building, opposite the
Post Office. Honesdaie, Pa.
HOMER GREENE,
ATTORNEY A COUN8ELOR-AT-LAW.
Office over Belt's store. Honesdaie' Pa.
AT. SEARLE.
. ATTORNEY 4 COUNSELOR-AT-LAW.
Office near Court House Honesdaie. Pa.
0L. ROWLAND,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-L AW (
Office ver Post Office. Honesdaie. Fa
CHARLES A. McCARTY,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW.
Special and prompt attention given to the
collection ot claims. Office over Kelt's new
store, Honesdaie, Pa.
EP. KIMBLE,
. ATTORNEY A COUNBKLOR-AT-LAW;
Office over the cost office Honesdaie. Pa.
ME. SIMONS,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW,
Oillco in the Court House, Honeedale,
Pa.
HERMAN HARMEb,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW,
Patents and pensions secured. Office In the
Schuorholz bulldlns Honesdaie. Pa.
PETER H. ILOFF,
ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW.
Office-Second floor old Savings Urnk
building. Honesdaie. Pa.
EM. SALMON,
. ATTORNEY A COUNSELOR-AT-LAW
Office NJt door topcM cltlte. Foimerl
occupied bvW II. Din nuck. Honesdaie, Pa
Dentists.
DR. E. T. BROWN,,
' DENTIST.
Office First finer, old Savings Banklbulld
lng, Honesdaie, Pa.
Dr. C. R. BRADY. Dkntibt. HonesdaleJPs.
Office Hours-8 a. m. to o p. m
Any evening by appointment.!
Citizens' phone. 33 Residence. No. 8MC
Physicians.
nR. H . B. SEARLES,
Jj HONESDALE, PA.
Office and residence 1019 ICourt 'street
telephones. Office Hours 2:00 to 4:00 and
GOO to 8:00. p. no
Livery.
LIVERY. Fred. G. Ricknrd has re
moved his livery establishment from
corner Church ctreet to Whitney's Stone
Barn.
ALL CALLS
PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO.
FIRST CLASS OUTFITS. 75yl
JOSEPH N. WELCH
Fire
Insurance
The OLDEST Fire Insurance
Agency in Wayne County.
Office: Second floor Masonic Build
ing, over O. C. Jadwin's drug store,
Honesdaie.
If you don't insure with
us, we both lose.
Insurance
White Wills Pa.
O. G. WEAVER,
Graduate Optician,
1127$ Main St., HONESDALE.
Tooth
Saverv
We nave the sort of tooth brushes that are 1
1 vT wutuunuijr BUU. BOT MM
Tber are the kind that clean teeth wlthW
eavlug Your month hill ot bristles. V
We recommend those costlni 26 cenU r
tunic, uo no wi Kuaraiitcfj mciu nnu wiu r
place, tree, any that snow defects ot nui
inciuru iriimn inrcv momus.
O. T. CHAHBER5,
PHAWIACIST,
99.9, A M, ftattaa KtNCMALB, FA,
HITTINGER & HAM
General