Newspaper Page Text
tiie citizkn, Wednesday, august 4, 1000.
WAYS WOMEN HAVE
"My wife Horn." said Cnjoncs tho
other day at lunch to his friend Ker
amlth, "Is n hummer. She's taken tno
to tho museum. I'm a regular art
rrltic now. I'm thinking of getting out
a certificate in that line and hanging
It up over my desk."
"It would look funny along with tho
other things you've got hanging there,"
said Kersmlth. "Ilut tell mo nhout
"Well, it was this way," began Ca
jones. "Last Sunday afternoon Hern
says to nio, 'George, I want you H go
out to tho art museum with mo this
'"For heaven's sake,' says I, 'what
" 'What for?' she repeated Just like
an echo. 'Why, to soo art and pic
tures and statuary and so come under
tho ennobling inllueuces of tho ideal
and tho beautiful.'
"'Go way,' says I in disgust. 'I'm
going to read tho paper, and then I'm
" 'George Cajoncs.' she says, straight
ening herself up and looking at mo
square, 'you will go out to tho art
museum with me or you will stay at
homo. I'm not going to have It said
that my husband isn't as highly edu
cated as any of tho other club's hus
bands, nnd they all said they were
going to have art discussed in their
homes, and things like that, and I'm
determined wo shall too.'"
"What'd you say to that?" put in
Kersmlth, with a grin.
"Oh, I Just thought that utter all
there might bo some fun in it," replied
Cajouos, "so I Just laid the paper on
the table nnd said, 'All right.' I've
discovered that tho best way to man
age women is to let 'em think they're
having their own way."
"Yes, of course," said Kersmlth, "but
"Well, wo got there," ho continued,
"and the first thing wo wore taxed to
get in. Say, that show ought to bo
free to tho public. It is in New York.
Hcl'n says, and other places too. It
was fine, though, when you got In.
The main hall Is full of statues stand
ing around on blocks and looking as
If they wished thoy wore some place
else. Ilel'n said they were Greek.
Those Greeks must have been dandles.
Every one of them was lots more than
six feet high, nnd they had muscles
that looked as If they were all gymna
sium trainers for a living. There were
some queer looking women statues,
some of them without heads and some
with wings, nnd sonio had their arms
or may bo half an arm outstretched;
looked to inu like tho men were all
training for races or fights or some
thing, and the women were urging
them to go on or else begging them
to stay at home, I qouldn't tell which.
"But, say, though, there's one thing
you ought" to go out there nnd see.
Jim. One statue, or I guess you'd cull
It a group of statues, is a terror
There's three men and a brace of big
snakes, and I tell you they're having
"I believe I'll go out nnd look at
that some time," said Kersmlth.
"What else did you see?"
"Oh, heaps of things," replied Ca
joncs. "Ilel'n Insisted on dragging me
through a room tilled up with gold
and silver candlesticks nnd vases and
things. 'Are these tho elevating and
emiobling things you were telling mo
about?' I says. 'For tho feeling they
inspire in me is tho desire to smash
tho glass and take a few away with
" 'George,' says she, 'you have no
high ideas about things. These beau
tiful creations aro poems,' says she,
looking tho way she does when she
tries on a new hat before tho glass.
"'That may be,' says I, 'but I
wouldn't mind having this silver bath
tub to sell.
" 'Gracious, George,' she says, 'that's
a wiuo cistern! Can't you read the
"Well, we went upstairs and saw a
lot more things ivory chessmen and
lots of vases, and things like that.
There was a plaster cast of Napoleon's
face, made after he was dead. I be
Hove it was a fake. It didn't look a
bit like him when he was alive. Then
we saw an Egyptian mummy. Say,
those are tho things that make you
feci queer those old boys, been
burled hundreds and thousands of
years, and there they are, Just as If
they were grinning at you. You can
see their teeth, Jim. They must have
been false or they wouldn't last all
this time. Ilel'n says, 'Now, we'll go
In and see tho pictures,' but I drew
tho lino there. I'd seen enough. 'I
really don't think I'd better, my dear,'
says I. 'The strong lights and tho
bright colors are so trying to my eye
" 'Oh, you poor dear!' says she, fall
ing right In. 'Of course you oughtn't
do anything to lwjuro your health.'
"So after we'd seen a few more
beautiful creations wo went homo.
"But, say, Jim, I forgot to tell you
about the rug department. That was
"Tho rug department?" said Ker
"Yes, whero they havo nil tho rugs,
you know. They havo them hanging
up on tho walls all around. Tho colors
aro not very good some of them look
pretty faded, I must say and there
aro not any fringes on thom, but the
patterns aro all right Ono of tho labels
said that theso rugs wcro hung nil
round tho walls In tho castle years
ago. Funny thing to do, wasn't it?
I'm glad that isn't tho fashion now,
It would kill tho wall paper trade, and
wo still have to eat,"
"George," said Kersmlth solemnly,
"I'm going out there next Sunday
Maybo I can got somo tips on the mar
kct." Cincinnati Tribune.
THE PERFUMED BATH
MADE AT HOME,
The Benefits to bo Derived from
Camphor, Oatmeal, Milk and Soda
Bntlis Particularly Commended 1
for Deprcsslngly Dot Weather. j
A delicately perfumed bath of .
Eoftened water is a tonic that Im
proves the texture of tho skin and
Improves tho complexion. Tho ex-,
pense of such a tub need not neces
sarily bo large, and the refreshment I
irom It Is great owing to tho relaxa-;
tion of the nerves. ,
A Camphor bath Is the ono to be I
commended for the deprcsslngly I
arm days of u rum or. It Is made '
from a mixture of an ounce of tine- ,
turo of camphor, half as much tlno- '
turo of benzoin, and two ounces of j
toilet vinegar, Such a bath as this I
may bo taken In tho morning, at
night, or, If preferred, In tho after-
noon. Better effects will bo gained
if the Immersion Is taken at such ,
time as to permit of lying down for !
talf an hour or so afterward.
A vomnn wno Is fortunate enough
tc npend her summer on a farm
where milk is plentiful should not
I ..so tho chanco to ndulged In milk
baths, for nothing will moro quick
ly soften and whiten tho skin than I
this slmplo wash. A tub not being
always at hand In tho country, It may j
be necessary to use a basin. In i
either raso tho solut'on need not bo !
more than half milk, aand tho water i
should bo hot enough to warm i
tho milk sufficiently to inako it
comfortable tomnoraturo. No soap
Is used -n a soap cloth, rather than
a orubh should bo used in applying It.
A strong tonic bath is made by
mixing a pound of muriate of soda
with half a pout d of sulphato of so
da and a quarter of a pound each of
chlorides of ilme and magnesia.
These Ingredients may bo put into
tho tub and water poured on to dis
solve them. Thon tho tub must be
lllled In tho usual way. This par
ticular tonic should not be used of-
toner t..an once a wecV, or Its ef
fect upon tho skin will bo drying.
Not expensive and very delight
ful I3 an oatmeal batr made by mix
ing five pounds of any of tho "steam
ooked variety o oarineal to a
pound o: powdered orris root to a
pound of almond meal, and half a
pound of castlle soap scraped. A
small quantity Is then sewed into a
cheesecloth bag and ono of these
may bo used several times by tossing
It into tho bath for fifteen minutes
"All of our ancestors," said a phy
sician, "were pock marked, and
smallpox was a recommendation if
you wero looking for work.
"What J mean Is that you couldn't
get a Job If you had not had small
pox. No one wanted a servant who
was liable at any niument to be
stricken down w'th tho loathsome
disease." Hence: :
Ho opened a newspaper volume of
"Hence, 'help wanted' ads read
"Wanted a man between twenty
and thirty years of age, to be a foot
man and under butler In a great
family. He must havo had tho small
pox in the natural way. Also a wom
an, middle aged, to wait upon a
young lady of great fortune and
fashion. Tho woman must have had
the smallpox In the natural way.
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
To Sew Hoolca on Dresses.
In sewing on nooks, whether used
in connection with eyes or peets, al
ways spread the hooks, all sizes, be
fore sowing on; it not only makes
tho strain come'on different parts of
the material, but it prevents them
from pushing forward and showing
at the edges of collars, plackots and
When sewing them on a boned lin
ing the bone can be slipped between
the front curves and tho back of the
hook, after they have all been sewn
on, making It very taut, thus saving
tho labor of fastening the bono In
the usual way. It must, of course,
be fastened at elthor end after It Is
inserted, otherwise it will come en
tirely oft during the process of hook
ing tho dress.
For a Doublo Chin.
Tho aindom ch.n Is ono of tfcp
most determined tell-tales of ap
proaching age. To rid yourself of
this chin with social tendencies one
should massage the throat each
night. The method prescribed Is to
egln at the point of tho chin and
rub hard toward each ear. Tho fin'
ger tips should be together at the
beginning of tho motion and should
tbon push -away from each other.
Repeat tho motion under tho Jaws
and remomber to alwayo rub upward,
Either cole cream or an astringent
lotion should be used. Bo sure that
during the massage tho head bo
held well tip.
To Induce Sleep.
If you cannot sleep well, try eat
ing an onion sandwich early In tho
evening. Slice tho onion thin, nprln'
klo with salt and place between two
Bllces of thin bread and butter.
A man may feel that he Is stand
lng up for his rights when he keeps
his soat in a crowded car.
Parrots aro fonder of muslo than
aro tho other lower anlmala.
The family had hoard that bachelor
Uncle Joe was going to get married.
nn(1 thcro hnd bcen mucn caustic com-
mcnt over tho coming event, mingled
with many expressions of sympathy
iur uis inie ui uiu uuuuh ul me de
signing woman who had captured him,
all of which were overheard by the
keen nnd open eared six-year-old boy
of tho family.
"Pa," said the youngster ono day,
"I henr Uncle Joe Is going to bo mar
ried next week."
"Yes," said the father. "Uncle Joo
has only three days more."
The little boy sighed. "Tho last
three days," he said, "they give them
everything to eat that they ask for.
don't they, pa?"
If all tho end of this continuous striving
Wero simply to attain,
How poor would seem tho planning and
Tho endless urging and tho hurried driv
ing Of body, heart and brain!
But ever In tho wake of truo achieving
Thcro shines this glowing trail
Somo other soul will bo spurred on, con
ceiving Now strength and hope. In Its own power
Because thou dldst not fall.
Not tlilno atono the glory nor the sorrow
It thou dost miss the goal.
Undreamed of lives In many a far tomor
r-Pnm ,w ,, r ,hir w
On, on, ambitious soull
Ella Wheelor Wltco.
A Qood Definition.
In ono of tho New York schools sev
eral of the children In one class failed
on the definition of the word bachelor.
The teacher, to Impress tho meaning
of tho word on the minds of tho pu
pils, told the class to look up tho word
that night nnd come prepared with n
good definition the next day.
When the question was taken up nt
the next session the first llttlo girl
who was asked to define tho word an
swered with a confident and smiling
air, "A bachelor Is a very happy
The teacher grow Interested. "Are
you sure that Is correct?" sho asked
the little one.
"Oh, yes," wns tho prompt reply.
"Father told mo so."
Knew Who Used It.
Charles U. Hoyt, Now England's
great playwright, once visited a smnll
town in Pennsylvania whero there is
a hotel thoy say George Washington,
tho Father of Ills Country, used to
stop at when ho passed through. In It
they havo n room he Is said to havo oc
cupied nt times.
Hoyt came through there onco with
one of his attractions. He arrived at
tho hotel nfter nil tho members of tho
compauy hnd boon assigned rooms.
Ono of the company was given tho
Washington room, and Hoyt received
a poor room on tho top lloor, tho pro
prietor not knowing who he was.
When ho caino downstairs later the
gentleman who had got tho good room
said, "Mr. Hoyt, they havo given me
tho room that they used to give 'Joorgo
Washington when ho came here."
"Well," said Hoyt, "tho one they
have given me must be the ono they
gave Deuodlct Arnold when ho came."
A Stickler For Rules,
Billy Grimes was a sailor, and he
know a sailor's duty and how to obey
orders. Off a foreign port one night
Billy Grimes leaned over tho side in
answer to a hall.
"Ahoy!" he said.
"Ahoy!" was tho reply. "Lower
down your ship's ladder, shipmate."
"You can't como aboard here to
night," said Billy.
"Lower nway, you lubber," said the
voice below impatiently. "Iimust come
aboard. I'm tho rlvor pilot."
"I don't care." said BUly, "If you're
Punchus Pilot, I'll stick to tho ship's
Top Eager For Work.
Dr. John S. Bulst, the southern sur
geon, said In ono of his surgical lec
tures at a state college:
"It Is always in rather bad taste for
a physician to boast of being busy.
Physicians, undertakers and gravedlg-
gcrs only cause discomfort when they
alludo to good times and prosperity.
There was an old man applied to tho
minister of tho llttlo village of Paint
Rock for tho post of grnvedlgger. His
references wero good, and the minister
agreed to assign him to tho church
yard. uo was to be paid bo much a
grave. Tho grnvedlgger haggled over
the price, finally accepting It
"'But will I get steady work? he
"'Steady workr said tho minister.
'Land's eako, man, with steady work
you'd bury all Paint Rock In a week! "
The Whole Law.
When ono mockingly asked Hittcl If
bo would teach him tho wholo law
while ho stood on ono foot the rabbi
roplied: "What you would not like
dono to yourself do not to thy neigh
bor. This Is tho wholo law. All tho
rest Is a commentary on It Go learn
Not What He Wanted.
A Scotsman walked Into a Montreal
bookshop and, as tho assistant thought,
asked for Robert Burns. On being told
this tho proprietor of tho shop him
self got down tbreo or four editions
of tho poet nnd took them to the wait
lug Scotsman. The customer, how'
ever, shook his bead hopelessly and
said, "It's nao Robert Burns I asklt
for, but rubber bands l"
THE SPORTING WORLD
Dr. Roller Hurls Deft.
B. F. Roller of Seattle, Wash., phy
sician, wrestler, boxer nnd all round
athlete, is agahi on tho warpath. Ho has
hurled a defi nt Stanley Ketchcl and
'Thlladelphln Jack" O'Brien. Itollcr
says ho Is anxious to exchange Jabs,
uppercuts and swings with either of
tho two In n six, ten or twenty round
bout. Ho thinks he Is the man to re
gain the pugilistic crown now worn
by Jnck Johnson to the white race.
Itollcr has been before tho public In
many rolls. Several years ago ho was
a conspicuous figure In University of
Pennsylvania athletics. Roller was a
stalwart fellow when ho entered the
medical school of the university, com
ing from Do Pauw university, nnd he
was at once picked for the football
squad. Ho played In tho practice
games, but was not on tho eleven bo
cause It wns learned that he had
played four years with tho Do Pauw
team; therefore under tho football
rules ho was Ineligible for tho univer
sity cloven. Roller has had fairly good
success In tho wrestling game and has
met defeat only nt the hands of Cham
pion Frank Gotch.
Chicago Americans' New First Sacker.
Tho snlo of "Chick" Arnold by tho
Shroveport club to the Chicago Amer
icans has been announced. Several
teams havo been dickering for tho
services of Arnold. Ho is nt present
playing with tho Sacramento team of
tho Pacific Coast league under the
name of Gnndll.
Last season "Chick" Arnold played
first base for tho Pirates, but refused
to report to Shrevcport this year,
Jumping to tho California outlaws. In
order that he remain in organized
baseball tho Shroveport club loaned
tho player to Sacramento of the Pa
cific Coast league for tho remainder
of tho season. As a member of this
team Arnold has boon playing wonder
ful ball. He attracted tho attention of
several big league scouts, and as a re
sult several clubs were anxious to grab
Vegetable Diet For Athletes.
Vegetables aro to form au important
feature in the diet of the Irish Ameri
can Athletic club athletes under the
system which Is being urranged by
Lawson Robertson, tho now trainer,
who recently took up his duties at Celt
ic park, New York. The now menu is
more particularly designed to meet the
requirements of the distance runners,
for Trainer Robertson Is a firm be
liever In tho system of diet adopted by
E. R. Voiglit, five mller, who Is a
vegetarian. Robertson claims that
vegetables give moro endurance than
meats and in hot weather aro better
for tho general health.
Baseball Follows the Flag.
Baseball follows the flag even In our
hot tropical possessions. In tho Pana
ma canal zone two leagues played a
series of games In tho season Just
closed there. At Colon tho sport has
taken such a hold on tho people that
It Is proposed to put up n now base
ball park prior to tho opening of tho
next league season. Tho Panama Rail
road company has granted tho ground
for tho purpose, and the business men
of Colon aro contributing to a fund for
tho erection of an inclosuro and grand
stand. The games draw attendances
varying from GOO to 1,200 each game.
New Park For Brooklyns.
Though his team may bo too close to
tho cellar to satisfy the Brooklyn fans,
Charley Ebbets, president of tho Su
p.n-bns, evidently believes thoy will bo
bte money getters next year and Is
having plans drawn up for a now sta
dlum nt Washington park. Thedlamond
may bo shifted around and n doublo
deck grand stand built whero the 23
cent bleachers now stand and where
there Is always a good breeze blowing,
Tho diamond will bo laid whero tho
left field foul line now stands, which
would nld tho catcher in getting nfter
foul balls In the sun.
Boston Nationals' New Player.
Tho first deal of the season between
tho Southern league and a major
league club Is announced In tho sale of
Second Baseman Cranston of the
Memphis team to tho Boston Nation
als. Catcher Ball and an outfielder,
In addition to a cash consideration, fig'
ured la the trade.
"This Is a Jolly old world," said Short
As abroad he started to so.
"I've actually borrowed money enough
To pay every cent that I owe."
Detroit Free Press.
Almost a Walkover.
"Tell me, Is there anything on earth
that new yacht of yours can't overtake
"I should say there Is."
"Its running expenses." Puck.
Wo love the frame! Wo love to go
And hear the crowded bleachers shriek
In Joyous victory, but oh.
You losing streak!
That's the Question.
Clifford can ask questions qulcket
Iban wo can answer them, and a fcM
days ago his undo told him he would
turn Into an Interrogation point 1
agreod with him and said: "Yes, I re
member seeing a plcturo of a Uttlo boj
turning Into one. no had become
moro and moro curved and finally had
becomo Just a largo Interrogation
Cliff listened Intently, and when 1
had finished ho Instantly asked, "Well
how did they keep tho dot under hlmr
JULY CLEARING SALE
The Giant Event of the Season's End
Every Passing Season finds our Stock Broken in everyldepartment. Small
lots are bound to accumulate here and therein a busy store like ours. We never
have and never will carry over goods from one season to another, no indeed, Sir,
the policy df this house demands that the wearableelhere mentioned leaves us
when the season does, so to this end we go through all departments and clip
down the prices unmindful of the cost to us. July is not a time for profits.
Here following we mean to speak in deeds of many saving opportunities not in
words galorp ; so if that means anything to yon read on
STHAUSE IIHOS. CLOTHES ALL
$15 Suits low $10
$18 Suits now $lil
$20 Suits now $15
$25 Suits now $18
$4 Suits . . .
$3.50 Suits .
$3.00 Suits ,
HOYS' WASH SUITS ALL SIZES.
50c, 75c, to $1.00 Worth Double
Remember the Place-aFull
C. HAND, President.
W. 13. HOLMES, Vice Pres.
We want you to understand the reasons for the ABSOLUTE SECURITY
HONE SD ALE, PA.,
HAS A CAPITAL OP
AND SURPLUS AND PROFITS OF -MAKING
EVERY DOLLAR of which must be lost before any depositor can lose alMtMiNY
It has conducted a growing and successful business for over 35 years, serving
an increasing number ot customers with
Its cash lunas nro protected by MUUMiA siKhi, aults.
All of these things, coupled with conservative management. Injured
by tho C'AliEKUL PERSONA). ATTENTION constantly clven the
Rank's affairs hy a notably able Hoard of Directors assures the patrons
of tlmt SUl'KEMK SAFETY which Is the prime essential of a good
83T DEPOSITS MAY BE MADE BY MAIL.
V F. SUYD.VM.
T. U. CLAKK
TEN CENTS SAVED every day will, in fifty years,
grow to $9,504.
TWENTY CENTS SAVED daily would in fifty years
amount to $19,006.
The way to accumulate money is to save small sums system
atically,and with regularity.
At 3 per cent, compound interest money doubles itself in 25
years and 104 days.
At 0 per cent, money doubles itself in 11 years and 327
If vou would save 50 cents a day, in 50 years you would have
If vou would save $1.00 a day, at the end of 50 years you
would have $95,042.
Begin NOW a
THREE PER CENT. INTEREST PAID.
Money loaned to all Wayne counteans furnish
ing eood security. Notes discounted. Hrst
morteaee on real estate taken. Safest and cheap
est way to send money to foreign countries Is by
drafts, to be had at this bank.
HOUSEHOLD BANKS Fit EE.
This company is preparing to do extensive construction
work in the
Honesdale Exchange District
which will greatly improve the service and enlarge the
Patronize the Independent Telephone Company
which reduced telephone rates, anddo not contract for any
other service without conferring with our
Contract Department Tel. No. 300.
CONSOLIDATED TELEPHONE CO. of PENNSYLVANIA.
CITIZEN PRINT COUNTS
First, Last and All the time for the Best
LANDAN BRAND CLOTHES ALL
$10 Suits now $7
$1) Suits now $0
$8 Suits now $5
$7 Stilts now $1
MEN'S DRESS SHIRTS ALL
Eclipse shirts, high grade in every
respects. Coat cut, cull's attached:
$1.50 value nt $1.00
$1.00 value nt 70c.
TRUNKS AND DRESS SUIT CASES
AT HALF PRICE.
Line of Everything.
II. S. SALMON, Cashier
W. J. WARD, Ass't Cashier
lulelity and satistaction.
V. II. HOLMES
11. S. SALMON
Honesdale Dime Bank