I 'W'TT'I'TI'TTTTTTIITTITTITWTt
J HUMOR. t
:: OF THE, HOUR $
HIS FATAL MISTAKE-
Edith Why did you cut Clarence,
alter his handsome wedding gift?
Ethel The horrid thing enclosed a
card, wishing many happy returns of
the occasion.
fascinating.
Howard And how did the plain
widow Perkins capture the fastidious
Mawker?
Coward Oh, took him out In her
car and showed him a few hundred ol
her building lots.
Howard Ah! I sec. A case of love
at first slto. Harper's Weekly.
Something Soulful.
"Yoy aro going to Bay something
soulful," declared the fiance. "I see
It In your lovely eyes."
"What I was going to say Is this,"
responded the llancoo. "Won't you
wear a rubber band around your head
nights, so as to train your ears not to
stick out?"
A Temperance Movement.
"George," spoko his better half,
"you are Interested in the temperance
movements, are you not?"
"Why, certainly I am," he answered.
"Well, suppose ycu go out and make
a few of them with the pump handle.
I am In need of a pail of water right
away."
ESPECIALLY DESIGNED.
Mrs.' Snail Yes, Mr. Weaver, the
curtains are beautiful and cheap, but
I'm afraid they attract flies.
Mr. Weaver But think, Madam;
they will also catch the flies and thus
save their cost, in a short time, In
flv nannr.
THE CAPTAIN'S LITTLE JOKE.
Lieutenant Officer McClubbe aver
ages 25 arrests a day,
Captain Ah, I see; a regular light
ning arrester.
A Reasonable Doubt.
Officials have a right to ask ques
tions In the performance of their
duty, but there are occasions when it
seems as If they might curtail or fore
go the privilege. Not long ago an
Irishman whose hand had been badly
mangled In an accident entered the
Boston City Hospital Relief Station
in a great hurry. He stepped up to
the man in charge and inquired:
"Is this the Relief Station sor?"
"Yes. What 1j your name?"
"Patrick O'Connor sor."
"Are you married?" questioned the
officer.
"Yls, sor, but .s this the Relief Sta
tion?" He was nursing his hand in
agony.
"Of course It Is. How many chil
dren have you?"
"Eight, sor. But sure, this la the
Relief Station?"
"Yes, It Is," replied the official,
growing a little angry at the man's
persistence.
"Well," said Patrick, "sure, an' I
wap1i)egWnWg:tr ihlnk that !t ratcl'.t
im the DUTOtinK-satloq!" , . -
i
Gate For Cow Lot.
Opens Either Way Hut Stock Cannot
"Work" It.
The gato shown In tho design has
many points of merit. It opens
either way, it latches automatically
and stock cannot get it open, it
swings above a deep snow, tho post
never pulls up or leans as it is held
In place by the balanced weight of
the gate. The heaviest gate on tho
farm can be opened and closed by
a child or a person on horseback.
It 13 made like an ordinary gate ex
cept It is fastened at tho top beam,
(A ) the round hole In the beam fits
loosely around the top post (B) as
Is shown In C. The wide end of
GATE FOH COW LOT.
beam sustains a weight of stones a
little heavier than the gate Itself,
or a weight may be hung to the
beam. The bottom of the gate !
hold In place by a chain passed loose
ly around post and frame and stapled
to both. Two pieces of old tire
shaped like D are stapled to the post
at free end of the gato as Is shown
In E. The frame holds an Iron spike
which, In closing the gate, lifts the
piece of tire, passes under It and lets
It fall back In place. The gate Is
securely fastened. To open, pull
down the free end of gate, lift the
piece of tiro and the gato swings
free. To open on horseback use the
arrangement shown In C. Grasp the
stick, pull the length of rope through
the hole, with tho forked end of tho
stick lift the piece of tiro nearest
you, pull to the rope and the gate
swings open. As you ride through
grasp the other stick and pull the
gate shut after you.
Scimratnri.
Separators do much of the most
valuable work of modern farming.
There is the pin for separating the
seed from cotton; the threshing ma
chine for separating wheat and oats
from the straw; bean, pea and clover
hullers for separating the seed of
those plants; the fanning mill for
separating dirt, chaff and foreign
seeds from the pure seed and finally
the last and one of the most Im
portant separators, the cream separa
tor. This wonderful invention en
ables the farmer to separate the
cream from the milk as soon as it Is
drawn and have the fresh warm
skim milk to feed to the calves or
pigs. The butter fat brings a' good
price and by feeding something to
take its place with the skim milk
almost as good a calf can be raised
as with the whole milk. The churn
will yield more than In the old days
of hand skimming, nor will the calf
as In those days be knocked In the
head with the dash. If the butter fat
Is sold to the creamery, the use of
the separator makes fewer trips nec
essary with a much lighter lpad to
carry. A one-horse buggy will haul
the cream from a two horse load of
whole milk. Then the skim milk
often comes back unfit for the calves.
Value of Sweet Milk.
The value of the pure sweet skim
milk fed to pigs fresh from the
cream separator, was found by tho
well-known dairyman, Mr. C. P.
Goodrich, to be much greater than
usually estimated. He found that
100 pounds of gain in pigs weigh
ing 125 pounds when fed alone, and
one bushel of corn fed alone made a
gain of ten pounds. This puts a
high value on sweet skim milk.
When he Joined skim milk and corn
In due proportion the feed value of
both were Increased 20 per cent,
showing that both made a fine bal
anced ration. He fed 100 poundB
of sweet skim milk with one bushel
of corn, and that gave 18 pounds
of gain to the shoats. Hoard's
Dairyman says:
"In our own experience we have
made pklm milk worth 63 cents per
100 when fed to grade Guernsey
calves sold at 7 months of age at
$25 each.
"It Is well enough to say that a
large part of the feeding value of
separator skim milk may be wasted
by improper methods of feeding; al
so its best value Is always found In
feeding it to young pigs and shoats."
Breaking a Cow to Milk.
If you are going to break a young
cow, the first thing you have to do
Is to keep cool, writes Paul Kautz.
Many kicking cows are made, bad
by bad breaking and bad temper.
It Is a good Idea to tie tho new cow
up the first few days and glvo her
the very best treatment so she has
won your confidence. Before you are
going to milk be euro to have your
finger nails" trimmed close as possi
ble. Do not rush milking at once,
but start gently. When you are
through milking pet ,her. and Btye
her something to eat during. the thna
of, milking. I have dorfo-milklng f$r.
fourteen years ut l.orr.e on the 'farm
of my parents. ,
BBSS
Portable Hog House.
Ono of tho Best, Cheapest and Hand
iest Ever Contrived.
Mr. Oltn A. Dobbins, of Ohio,
sends to the "National Stockman"
the following description of his port
able hog house.
"We send herewith a sketch of
what we think the best, handiest
and cheapest hog house we havo
ever used. Two doors In front make
It convenient for ventilating, as wo
have them face -south In the Winter
tlmo. If there Is a cold wind from
the southwest the west doors aro
closed and the cast ones opened.
Should the wind be In the east or
southoast they are reversed. Tho
house is divided Inside by a portable
partition which should be nearly
four feet high and made of good
oak boards with very narrow cracks
between them, especially near the
bottom. With this partition In
place It makes good roomy beds 6x8
feet each for the sows, and when
through with H for sows the parti
tion Is removed and placed by the
back wall and held there by a largo
wooden button turning over the top
board. In this shape we use It for
twenty to twonty-flve pigs and find
It better than any of the half-dozen
different patterns that we have used
and are using, as It affords hotter
ventilation and Is ennlpr to clean as
thero Is plenty of room.
"Size of house la 8x10 feet, four
feet high at back and seven feet In
front. Tho runners or foundation
are 4x4 oak, beveled off at each ond
with an axe so as to run easily. The
two center runners are fourteen feet
long, so that they may extend out
two feet at each end of the house.
Across these outer ends we spike
2x4 or 2xG pieces to hitch to. The
floor should be of good oak boards
but need not be very tight. The
THE PORTABLE HOG HOUSE,
sides are matched lumber and the
roof should be as tight as possible.
We hnve used felt paper for roofing
for live years, but the kind we used
became leaky In about two years and
now we have four or live houses to
re-roof. We expect to try galvan
ized Iron or tin. The uprights or
studding are 2x2 placed two feet
apart; except that there are 2x4's
placed at each side of doors. Doors
are fastened shut by means of strong
wooden buttons. each held by a spike.
"The following includes most of
the lumber needed: two pieces 4x4
10 feet; two pieces 4x4-14 feet;
eighteen pieces 2x2-S feet; twenty
feet of dressed siding; eighty feet
1-inch oak flooring; 110 feat (sur
face) one-half-lnch sheathing for
under the roof and roofing."
Using Pure Bred Boars.
Many make the mistake of think
ing only farmers who make a busi
ness of selling breeding stock need
to use pure bred boars. There Is,
on the other hand no very good rea
son why any breeder or farmer
should use grade sires.
Good pure-bred sires can be se
cured' at reasonable rates, and far
greater dependence can be placed
upon a good animal of pedigreed
stock than can be upon a good grade.
Of course we do not make this con
tention for the pure-bred scrub, for
pedigree alone does not make an
animal by any means.
If an animal is properly built, Is
healthy, and in addition has pure
blood running through his system,
the chances are that he will sire bet
ter pigs than a grade would whose
characteristics are not as firmly
fixed. The choice of sires is an Im
portant matter, and only good stock
should be used.
Roughage For Sheep.
Timothy hay Is a comparatively
poor roughage for sheep. Clover,
pea vine hay or any other kind of
hay made from legumes is good. If
one grows peas or beans for their
seeds, the straw makes good sheep
feed. Of course, some concentrated
food must be fed, too. Some here
feed the pea straw unthrashed, but
many a pea is lost then. As peas are
rich In nitrogen, this means quite a
little. They are, however, a good
feed for sheep when ground.
Bo Clean At All Seasons.
Greater regard for cleanliness Is
demanded In warm and damp wea
ther than at any other time, but
cleanliness ought never be neglecteQ
In any season, Don't lot the houses
and yards become filthy and foul
smelling simply because It Is warm
weather.
Sheaf Oats For Horses.
The finest winter feed is sheaf
oats. The horses will go through
the winter in good, strong condition
and In the spring they will be fit for
trortc. Let them cat' the heads and
best of straw, and use the rest for
bedi'lne.
TRIAL'S OF BANKING.
Ib Swedish Farmer Wanted Whet
He Wanted When He Wanted.
The recent financial stringency
''out doubt cast more or less une '.(
ys ovor many of the small depoal
In country banks, and althojh
.-e were many who did not want to
ow their uneasiness, they neverCo
a felt a hosltaooy as to making fur
or deposits, and many desired to
vlidraw their money already on i!c
uoalt. That this desire was fixed l'i
j!io minds of somo who yet desired to
betray no mistrust or to give offence
to tho bankers is Illustrated by the
following Incident, which Is said to
have occurred at a bank In a countr
town In one of the Middle Western
States:
A Swedish farmer had sold somo
hgs on the local market, and upon
receiving his check In payment Imme
diately went to tho local bank to real
lzo on his sale. Upon presentment of
the eheck the banker said to him.
"Do you wish tho money on thld
check?"
"Veil, I tank I yust so veil tako
him," was the quick reply.
"You really want the money?"
"Yah, I tank I take the mon-e."
"Bat do you really need the
money?" asked the banker.
"Vail, no. I don't exactly need him,
bat I tank I take the mon-e."
"Well," aald the banker, "If you
really w&nt the money, of course I will
give It to you, but I thought It you
did not need It perhaps you mlcht
open on account and deposit the
money, and then check against it as
you need it."
Tkls aaemad assuring to tho Swrdo,
aad be said: "Veil, If you pays my
aohecka, don open do Recount," id
tie account was opened and pass boo'x
and check book handed to tho uuv
customor.
Half an hour later a close friend of
the new depositor appeared at tho
cashier's window and presented a
check signed by his friend for tho
full amount of the deposit, which m
promptly paid by the banker without
comment.
In about an hour tho Swede appear
ed, and, walking to tho cashier's win
dow handed tho banker his cb t k
book minus only one chock, with ''c
remark, "Veil, I don't tank I ncudd
him any more."
SOLITUDE.
Clarence Rowing is a very violent
exercise. Sometimes after a long row,
I lose control of ray arm by evening.
Virginia Oh, don't let's go farl
The Main Point.
Tho Englishman and the American
were talking about honesty among
men.
"Speaking about honest men," said
tho American proudly, "our Georyc
Washington was the most honest mar
the world has ever known. Why, h(
took a hack at tho cherry tree and
then told his father about It."
The Englishman pondered in sll
ence for a long tlmo. Finally lu
drawled.
"It may be deuced clever In George
telling his father about taking the
hack, but tell me this."
"Well, what 13 it?"
"Did he pay the driver?"
8even Vas the Number.
"She had seven husbands," says r
BUlville exchange, In an obituary no
tice, "and outlived the last one o
them; and wo don't think we wouh
have been called on to write this no
tlce of her now but for the fact tha
the horse she was driving on the roa('
to got the license to marry tho eight'
took fright and ran away with hei
and she caught cold and went to
better world where all our trouble
are ended, on account of thero beln'
no marryln' there!"
Variable.
The late Judgo Saunders, of North
Carolina, was noted as an angler, but
he had a poor memory aa to tho
weight of the fish he had taken. On
one occasion a friend, trying to en
trap tolm, said: "Say. Judge, what
ni the weight of that big catfish
you caught tbe other day?"
Tbe Judge turned to his waiter and
laid, "Bob, what did I say that cat
flab weighed yesterday."
"Wiftt time yesterday, boss in de
"wnln", at (Uqneror after suppah?"
Aa Qaargs ta'ea It
George Aide says the' class dletlnc
in in UMs country la roughly divided
ito trg Jiwilt TfcOM Tfco saw
oosV fcaft'ttau alt cm (ha fence
. d toll how ,to r,a- 7,'md.
Experts, Engaged.
Services Result in Grent Commercial
.
Benefit to Owners.
From recent reports received at
tho Department of Commerce and
Labor it appears that tho honey Int
erests of England havo . found it
worth while to employ experts to
Bupervlso that Industry. Cornwnll,
the best honey producing county in
that country, was the first to engage
tho service of an expert In beekeep
ing, with vast commercial benefit
When, three years ago, "foul brood"
an infectious disease among boes,
attacked the aptaros at Cornwall, and
worked great destruction, the sup
ervisors dotermlnod that It would bo
necessary to destroy hundreds of
hives whore the disease was preva
lent. This forcible extinction of the
hives saved the Industry In tho coun
ty. There now remain but a tow
traces of the disease.
In order that attention may be
drawn to the success that may at
tend beekeeping the authorities hav-e
instructed their expert Inspector to
visit all beekeepers In the county,
examine tho hives kept by them, and
give advice at to their condition and
management. It Is also tho duty of
tho inspector to work up markets.
Cleanliness of Honoy-Mnklng.
Sclonce has recently demonstrated
many things of which the beekeeper
might well take noto and use to ad
vantage In popularizing honey. Sci
entific Investigations and close ob
servation bavo determined that the
bee, with Its strong Instinct for
cleanliness, puts the cleanliest house
keeper to shame In the thorough
ness with which It polishes and dis
infects the comb cells, tho recep
tacles for storing honey. It gathers
the aroma-laden nectar distilled by
the blossoms and, In nil its purity,
places It In the honey sack. After
reaching the hive, it Is placed in the
comb cell, where the bees blow a
current of air warmed by the inmates
of the hive continuously over the
open cells, evaporating it to the con
sistency of ripe honey and In Its
marvelous process making the vari
ous methods Invented by syrup and
sugar manufacturers appear crude
and unclean.
Care With Cnuibs.
All tho precautions necessary to
keep my large stock of extracting
combs are to space them one less to
the hive than they aro used In the
summer, and then leave them where
they will freeze during the winter,
writes an apiarist. The moths pass
the winter usually In the egg stage,
and a good, solid freezing will kill
them, so in tho spring there are no
worms to seat tho comb. There are
usually two broods during the sea
son, one In the spring, the other
during the fall. It takes about three
weeks for the larvae to mature. An
other point In the safe keeping of
combs is the presence of pollen, or
dead brood. Tho larvae of the moth
cannot live on wax alone; they must
have some other food, Combs used
for extracting seldom have any pol
len or other nitrogenous food for the
worm in them. The combs which are
in tho hive where the bees have died
are the most liable to their attacks.
Weo Girl a Beekeeper.
Beekeeping is one of the last
things in the world In which one
would expect a little girl to excel,
yet Ethel Grace Leadon of Surrey
Is among the most expert beekeepers
In England. She Is as skillful in
driving a swarm of bees from one
hive to to another as Is the most ex
perienced veteran of the craft, and
In taking combs from hives she is
twice as successful as the average
girl of two or three times her age.
Little Miss Leadon Is an active mem
ber of. the Surrey Beekeepers' Asso
ciation, having a vote In all Its af
fairs. In the exercise of her fran
chise, however, she is guided by her
papa, from whom she learned all
she knows about caring for the honey-makers.
Profit In Honey.
I know a small farmer near me
who has sold $125 worth of extract
ed honey from fifteen colonies, writes
T. M. Barton, of Kentucky. He may
realize nearly as much more from
the fall flow. I know some poor
tenants who havo secured an abund
ant supply of this most healthful
sweet from two or three colonies.
This is a great help to a poor man
with a family.
Bees Don't Hurt Fruit.
It Is the business of the bees to
gather honey, and they will suck
the Juices of fruits and flowers
wherever found, but careful observa
tion has proved that thoy do not
punoture fruit for the purpose of
getting at the Juice. Such injury to
fruit is caused by other insects and
birds, the bees only taking what has
been made easily accessible to them.
Beekeepers in United States.
Thore are three hundred thousand
beekeepers in the United States, and
the annual prod-ctlon of honey haa
a value of $15,000,000.
Prisons on Blossoms.
Illinois beekeepers want the Btate
to prohibit " itie nee of poisons In
fruit sprays unlll the blossoms have
been fertilized by bees.
A STORY BY KIPLING.
i " i 'J .HtX. , '
Swimmer deorrfed'to Be rrtuifna but
That Wasn't the Answer.
A magazine editor was praising
Rudyard Kipling.
"I was glad when Kipling got tho
Nobel prise," he said. "I thought It
would encourage him. Ho Is in a bad
way now.
"You know bo is writing scarcely
anything. I thought he waB idle, lazy,
and I took him to task about It. ,Ho
said ho knew he looked Idle, but In
reality he was trying hard to work
only he was stuck.
"He said he resembled a man who
made a bet one summer day at tho
seaside, that he would swim out a
mile and a half to a certain buoy. Tho
bet was acoepted, the man stripped
and plunged in. His friend retired to
the hotel to watch his progress from
tho window.
"From the window, "with a field
glass, the friend saw the swimmer
reach the buoy in due course, draw
hlmsolf up out of the water, and sit
down comfortably with his legs dang
ling over. So far, so good. Evidently
he wm resting, well pleased with hi a
feat.
"Some minutes passed, and tho
swimmer had not moved. Tho watch
er returned to his book. But every
now and then he looked up, and still
the swimmer eat in the same position
on the buoy.
"An hour, two hours, went by still
the swlmmor remained. A white, slim
figure seen against tSie oncoming
dark, and, thoroughly alarmed at laat,
the watcher got a boat and a coupl
of men and rowed out to his friend.
"Out there the mystery was soon ex
plained. The man waa stuck fast to
the buoy, which had been freshly tar
red that morning."
Poet and Creditor.
A Paris contemporary tells thin
Btory about Joseph Mory, tho Fronch
poet: A creditor called one morning
early to ask payment of an account.
He interviewed the poet In bod and
expressed sorrow at having to trou
ble him, hut would he settle tho ac
count. "With pleasure," replied Mery.
"Have the goodness to open tho first
drawer of that cabinet."
"I have, sir," replied the creditor,
"but there Is nothing thore."
"Indeed? Well, try the next"
"Thero Is nothing In It."
"That Is strange. Try the third.
"There Is nothing In there either."
"Look On tho mantelshelf."
"P.ut It is the same as the drawers."
"It is incredible. Havo you looked
on tho table?"
"Ycr."
"And in the secretaire?"
"Yes, and tlicro Is nothing."
"In my clothes?"
"Yes; I have turned out all
the
pockets."
"Ah, well," replied Mery, with the
greatest composure, "If thero Is no' -money
In the drawers or on the man
tel or on the table or in the secre
taire or In my pockets, how in the
name of all that'B wonderful can I
give you anything?"
Hardly Appropriate.
A groat, big, husky, good-natured
curb broker, who only recontly earnod
fame on the college nidlyon, was very
much perturbed the other day over
a daintily enveloped noto frosh from
a New York girl wintering at one of
the Florida resorts. He showed the
missive to one of his friends and ask
ed him if he understood it. The lat
ter read the letter aloud: "Thanks
for your thoughtful present, but did
you ever hear why Satan never used
his?"
"What did you send the girl?" ask
ed the other chap.
"Pair of Ice skates beauties, too."
STRICTLY PRIVATE.
First Messenger Boy Bob's In the
Becret service now.
Second Messenger Boy How?
First Messenger Boy Carrying
notes to chorus girls for young De
Mlllyun. Disproved.
Jenka "The boas told me this
morning that I looked as if I had gone
to bed with my clothes on. I told him
pretty sharply that he waa mistaken."
Clark "Oh, come, now; you know
you did it"
Jonki "I did not! These are my
brother's clothes." Cathollo Timea.
Surprising.
"On yonr trip abraad, did you see
any wonderful old ruinV'he asked.
"Yes" she replied, archly, "and guess
whij?" "Well?" "One of them wanted
to marry me."
Entirely In Acoerd.
Edith Well, I ahoudn't care to be
in yfaf.lr&W
Maflg-iJWo. Thy irnnJA pioeh,
dor.r, woulc-'t .c .'