Standard Oil's Xfuslnoss Machine.
It is well not )A let our surprise nnd
Indignation over the illegitimate opera
tions of Standard OH blind our eyes to
tlio marvelous business metliods of the
company. It has not only driven out
competition here, but has successfully
competed with the Ions established
and perfected systems of the old
world. Mere greed and bludgeoning
could not have given Standard Oil the
complete ascendency It enjoys today.
Mr. Rockefeller's story of how the
legitimate advantages of the company
were wrought out Is a feature of the
history which many American busi
ness men may learn from. It is a rec
ord of keen business Intellect working
patiently nnd persistently. More ex
pense nnd labor were put into legiti
mate work than Into illegitimate, and
competitors were outgeneraled rather
by doing better work than by trickery.
Stripped of its high finance superstruc
ture, there remains a model business
machine In Standard Oil.
In saylug that ho hasn't written n
single name on the cabinet slate as yet
nnd that not one of the cabinet posi
tions has been offered to any one Mr.
Tuft invites a campaign of buttonhol
ing that must be far from ngrecnble to
n president elect. The assurance Is
certain to redouble the activities of the
friends of candidates. He would better
let the gucssers go ahead making
slates, the more the merrier, nnd keep
the candidates busy also guessing on
the real thing.
Tom Johnson says he still has a
thousand fights In him. If he makes
that prophecy good now that ho Is
poor, ho will doubtless enjoy the battle
better than when ho had a bank roll to
fall back upon. It Is almost a truism
in this country that "you can do any
thing with money." Hut it takes sand
to "do anything" without money.
The "best seller" In fiction is beaten
to a frazzle and likewise to n pulp as
a money maker by the white paper
Industry, according to the revelation
of paper trust profits brought out at
the tariff hearing.
There Is time even In a short session
of congress to pass a law prohibiting
the announcement of an International
marriage unless the whole crowd
makes affidavit that it's n go.
Some one should remind Admiral
Evans that it Is n bit reactionary just
nt this time for an old sea dog to
Abandon waterways for railroading.
Lager Beer
Ale and
Porter.
TSio Nolsso Anent tlio Tariff-.
President Elect Taft urges the- con
sumers to make themselves hoard on
tariff revision. Hosts of them sup
posed that they were doing that by de
livering their minds ns to the Chicago
platform nnd candidate in November.
They made less noise in that way than
they would be likely to should all get
together before the ways nud means
committee. A member of the commit
tee has said that he expects "some
body to make the fur fly" when the re
flslon light is on. There arc consum
ers who would like to let fly chain
shot, solid shot, lyddlto shells, or what
ever Is best at smashing armored
things, before the new schedule Is fixed
up for good.
And there's the rub agreeing uponn
tariff schqdulo that will drown the
several volumes of different kinds of
noise. General Hancock was laughed
at for saying in the campaign of 1SS0,
"The tariff is a local Issue." He hart
been swinging around the circle as n
soldier candidate on n revision plat
form. Every fresh swing brought him
face to face with a new brand of
noise, one community shouting to havo
i this on the free list nnd that taxed to
' the limit, while a neighboring section
shouted for exactly the reverse. If the
body of consumers today could drop
j In at a tariff committee hearing for
Just one session they would feel like
asking Mr. Taft to put the tariff up to
1 real experts, If ho knows any then go
' Ing home to resume consuming.
I The two or three ellgibles left in tho
('whole country who arc not mentioned
as possibilities for Taft's cabinet may
j bo boys he tried to lick at school and
, couldn't.
Some folks think Roosevelt could
have had n lot of fun breaking the
"solid south." Rut tho south has not
been heard from in that connection
since along about ISfil-.".
A prominent Georgian asks that the
letter and spirit a if the constitution be
applied to y electoral college also.
! Next!
'.V: Grant Stevenson, the Edinburgh
sculptor, lias completed a statue li
bronze of Robert Hums, which will be
shipped to Milwaukee for erection In
one of tho public parks. The statue,
which is twelve feet In height, repre
sents tho poet standing with a note
book In one hand and a quill pen ir
the other. Tho granite bears an orig
inal design, ornamented with bronze
panels of "The Cotter's Saturday
Night" and "Burns at the Plow "
ON DRAUGHT AT LEADING HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS.
JOHN KUHBACH, Manager
FACTS IN FEW LINES
Wheat matures In Canada in from
00 to 100 days.
Tho first balloon was made by o
French priest In 1C20.
A 7,000 foot pier Is under construe
tlon nt MInster-on-tho-Sca, England.
There nro about a quarter of a mil'
Hon more men than women in Aus
tralla. In some provinces of British India
rubber is displacing ten as tho princi
pal product.
There are neither bachelors nor old
maids in China, where celibacy is
deemed unnatural nnd vicious.
Saxony has probably more factories
In proportion to its area than any oth
er country. The present number is 24,
707. There nro twenty monasteries on
Athos, tho holy mountain, the largest
being a Russian one with 2,000 monks
In it.
Mexico Is destined to become n prom
inent fnctor as a producer of refined
petroleum. Now wells are being con
stantly discovered.
London did not have nn adequate
water supply till 1000. Two-thirds of
It comes from the Thames, the rest
from artesian wells.
It Is reported that a student of the
Electro-Technical Institute of St. Pe
tersburg named Freudlnborg has in
vented an apparatus for exploding
mines by wireless telegraphy.
During a storm nt Stoke-on-Trent.
England, a young woman had a nar
row escape. Her spectacles were struck
by lightning. Tho frnmes wero split
I and tho lenses broken. The wearer
1 escaned injury.
! The Chinese method of relieving one 1
pain with another Is going out of
! vogue, and there is a large sale of pat- J
i ent medicines. Sedatives arc judged j
! and valued by what they do In the
I shortest possible time. !
Coal ashes are being washed into j
spaces iu Pennsylvania mines from
i which the coal lias been removed. As (
the water recedes they form a solid (
mass stroug enough to hold up the
earth and prevent cave-ins.
Incredible as It seems, Cleveland, one
i of the great cities of the country, was '
not Incorporated as a village until 1S1-1 ,
and had then a population of not more ,
, than 300 people, though its location j
1 made It prominent in a small -way.
i First place among the universities
I-of tho world in matter of mere uuui
I bers, up to last year held by that ol
Berlin, has now been won by the TJnI
I vcrslty of Farls, which had a student
body of KJ.G00 In last summer's semes
ter.
Sorcery now and then figures In
twentieth century life. The Paris civil
court has Just dismissed a suit brought
against. Professor Raymond and Dr.
Menard, two well known physicians,
CALL FOR
by a coachman, who charged them with j
sorcery. i
The phonograph Is suggested by a '
French photographer ns a means of
timing when a clock cannot be watch-
ed. He has fitted his machine with a ;
cylinder counting from 1 to 2-10, with
lntervnls of one serond between the
numbers.
Largest of all guns carried by Urlt
lsh warships Is the twelve inch, but
since the Brazilian ships now bulldln;; '
in England are to be Ctt.tvl with 13.5
inch guns it has been decided to -on
duct experiments with the large weap
on for the British navy.
At a meeting of the London Zoolog
ical society tho Fccretnry pointed out
that tho young giraffes have relatively
much shorter necks than their parents i
the nock in the former belnj not long
er than tho fore legs, which it largely
exceeds in length in the latter.
Tho Intorurban railway of Winona.
Ind., Is the only electric line In the
country which is not in operation on
Sunday. The officials, moreover, with
tho exception of two, serve without
pay, nnd tho profits of the road are
entirely devoted to tho support of a
technical school nt Indianapolis.
There is at Lincoln Center. Me., a
shoo factory unique In that one man 1
erected the building, developed tin J
water power, constructed tho watei I
wheel and gearing and Invented and
built the machinery. This same man
now serves as owner, ngent, salesman, j
uooKiceeper, foreman ana "neip.
Switzerland is suffering from a
plague of leeshes, which are killing the
fish In the lakes nnd rivers by thou
sands. In the upper course of the
Rhino, In the Aar. the lakes of
Neufchatel nnd Coustnnce, where the
plague Is most acute, thousands of
dead fish nre seen floating on the wa
ter.
A few years ago It was considered
an extraordinary and wonderful feat
for a ship Jo cross the Atlantic Inside
a week. Now It Is done In a trifle over
four days. When Chicago erected the
Masonic temple, containing twenty
two stories, wo thought the limit had
boon reached. In New York now there
are structures twice that height.
Since tlio lav.- was passed recently
giving a halfpenny a head for dead
rats tho schoolboys of Copenhagen de
vote their playtime to hunting the
rodent. The bodies are taken to the
fire brigade station, where the tails are
cut off ih order that the reward may
not bo claimed a second time. The
bodies are burned the same night in n
furnace at the gas works.
Winning "at a walk" doesn't always
prove up tho ca3y job it looks from
tho starter's post.
Slumps In the aeroplane business
won't necessarily mean that the bot
tom haa dropped out.
P
enn
HUMOR OF THE HOUft(
The Melodramatic Unities.
With the deepest sympathy wo 'listen !
to the sorrowful tale of the poor wo
man whose wan beauty Is enhanced
by tho silvery rays of tho moonlight (
that rest upon licr wan countenance.
"Oh, sir," she sighs, "have pity. 1
havo been thrust out from my home, j
where I was surrounded by every lux-
ury. xno uoor lias nccu cioscu agaiusi
me. nnd I am star-r-r-ving. Out lute
the cold, cold world I must go, tt
trudge do.wn the snowy streets In
senreh of nlil."
Choking back the tears that arc
brought to our eyes by her pitlfu'.
plight, we ask:
"But why do yon not pawn some ol
the dlamouds ifpon your lingers or tht
costly necklace which you wear to ob
tain wherewithal to feed and clothe
yourself?"
"Alas," she weeps, looking up Intc
the scattering snowflnkcs that have re
sponded to their cue and are beginning
to flutter down upon her "ajas. if I
did that I could not be found starvlnp
In tho old mill in tho next net when
the villain comes there to conceal tho
papers and to attempt to kill the noble
hero." Chicago Post.
Helpful to the Hen.
Little Mabel was visiting her uncle
In the country nnd helping him gathei
oggs.
"What's that one you leave in the
nest every time?" was the youthful'iu
qulry. "That's just the nest egg. It isn't a
real egg, you know it's made of por
celain," explained hcriuncle.
"Oh, I sec," said Mabel. "It's the pat
tern that the hen uses." Woman's
Home Companion.
Went Ono Better.
"Did you hear how Mrs. Wlunout got
tho better of Mrs. Getthero on her now
hat?"
"No. How?"
"When she learned that Mrs. Get
there's hat was as big as hers sho took
the trimming off the bat, put it on the
box the hat came In and wore the box."
Town Topics.
He Might.
"Pa, would you go up in nn airship
if you had a chance?"
"Well," replied Mr. Ilenpeck as he
looked around cautiously to assure
himself that ho would not bo over
heard, "I might if 1 could be assured
that no ladies would be admitted."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Alfred Knew.
"Can you tell us what auto-suggestion
is, Alfred?"
"Yessum. it's when mamma keeps
hintln' to papa that a lot of our friends
are buyln' motor cars." Kansas City
Times.
a.
Purity,
flaturity,
Quality.
She Was Dear.
"Please don't keep calling me 'del
nt the table," sho whispered. "Pcona
will think we are on our honeymoon."!
"But I can't help calling you 'dear, '
gasped the young man with tho lights
pocketbook. "The portion you ordered
amounts to over $3." St. Louis Post-
Dispatch.
Accurate Information.
t
Fortune Teller This lino here shows
that you will die in a year.
Client Good hcavensl In n year?
"H'm, yes but In which year I can't
quite tell you."
After the Failure.
Mrs. Scraggs My husband hasn't a
dollar In the world, and 1 think I am
entitled to a divorce.
Mrs. Bnggs On what grounds?
Mrs. Scraggs On the ground that 1
married him for money. Puck.
Jonah's Dilemma.
Whale What arc you going to tell
your wlfo when you get home?
Jonah I don't know. I don't sup
pose sho would believe mo if 1 should
tell her that I had been to a fish din-ner.r-Bohemian
Magazine.
A Joint Argument.
"I had quite an argument today wltk
my butcher over the quality of a
roast."
"Sort of a joint argument, eh?"
Browning's Magazine.
Autumn Bliss.
It is so sweet to wander far In autumn
woods,
Sho all to him and ho tho world to her.
And so to sit beneath a spreading chest
nut tree
And jump right up to save a steel
speared bur
From crushing
Ah, Clarice!
New York Globe.
Qualified.
Kuox Wiudig ought to make a suc
cessful fisherman.
Blox Why do you think so?
Knox He's a natural born liar.-
Harper's Weekly.
Those who can only get wisdom wit
ago shouldn't take extra pains to stay!
young,