!3aw
WIT
ES.
lesiring to
ose names
JRT.
GE.
R.
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3LERK
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NERS.
OOR.
'OR.
iRS.
11111
lfeffnTPREb5 ASSOCIATloVTl
CHAPTER X.
1118 TA OOB8 IIUMTINO.
'What has your Pa eot his Jaw tiexl
rap for, and what makes his right eye so
Tjlack and blue?" nsked the grocery man
Si the bad boy as the boy came to brine
wme butter back that was strong enough
work on the street. "Yon haven't
hurt your poor old Pa, have you?"
"Oh, his jaw is all right now. You
Wight to have seen him when the gun
.wag engaged in kicking him," says the
goy as lie 6ct tho butter plate on the
Sheesebox. -
"Well, toll us about it. What had tho
Hun against your Pa? I guess it was the
"Ron of n gun that kicked him," said the
'grocery nian as he winked at a servaut
firl who came in with her npron over
(her head after 2 cents' worth of yeast,
"I'll tell you if yon will kpep watch
'Down street for Pa. He says lie is
dammed if he will stRnd this foolishness
any longer."
.If "What, does your father swear whilo
he is on nrobation?"
"Swear! Well. I should cacM". You
(ought to have heard him when he como
I to nnd suit out thn lnnsn tenth. Yon
Bee, since Pa quit drinking he is a littlo '
Pi .i ii .1 i i.t i.
uui vuu, uuu uiu uuuiur sum no uugut. tu i
go out somewhere and get biznoss off his!
mind, and hunt ducks, and row a boat, '
hnd get strength, nnd Pa said shooting
llucks was just in his hand, and for me
to go and borrow a gun, and I could go
along and carry ramo. So I got a gun at
theenn store nnd some rn.rtridirnR.ntid
Iwe went away out west on the cars,
more than CO miles, and staid two days.
fYou ought to seeu Pa. He was just like
I
111 tillC S Llllll. Wild DlliJl UUU UUUIUM b jU LU
Ifechool. When we got out by the lake, he
Oie of pumped up nnd cracked his heels together
Wd yelled. I thought ho was crazy, but
Tn wnn 4
is not ilho W!Ui only cunins-
si "First I scared him
First I scared him nparlv to death bv
wy,nm i firing off the gnn behind him ns wo were i
w Igoing along tho bank nnd blowing off n I
piece of his coattnil. I know it wouldn't
hurt him, but ho turned palo and told
me to lay down that gun, and he picked , nnck, and sho acted just liko an oxcur
it up and carried it tho rest of the way, i on on the lake nnd said if I didn't go
and I was off ul glad 'cause it was a heavy ! and bury myself and tako tho smell out
gun. His coattail sinelled hko when
you bum a rag to mako the air in tho
room stop smelling so all tho forenoon.
You know Pa is a littlo nearsighted, but
ho don't bolicvo it, so I got some of the
wooden decoy ducks that the hunters
use and put them in tho lako, nnd you
ought to see Pa get down on his belly
and crawl through tho grass to get up
close to them. He shot SO times at the
wooden ducks nnd wanted me to co in
find fetch them out, but I told him I was
no retriever dog.
"Then Pa was mad and said all ho
brought mo along for was to carry game,
and I had come near shooting his hind
leg off, and now I wouldn't carry ducks.
While he was coaxing mo to go in the
cold water without my pants on I heard
somo wild geeso squawking, and then
Pa heard them, and he was excited. He
said, 'You lay down behind the muskrat
house, and I will get a goose.' I told him
She couldn't kill a goose with that fine
"lie went over a log."
shot, nnd I gave him a largo cartridge
the gnn storo man loaded for me with
a handful of powder in, and I told Pa it
was a goose cartridgo, and Pa put it in
the gun. The geo6e camo along, about a
mile high, squawking, and Pa aimed at
a dark clona ana fired. Well, X was
offul scared. I thought I had killed him.
The gnu just rared up nnd come down
on his jaw, shoulder and everywhere,
and he went over a log and struck on
his shoulder. The gun flew out of his
bauds, and Pa he laid there on his neck
with his feet over tho log, and that was
the first time he didn't scold me since he
got relidgin. I felt offul sorry and got
Borne dirty water in my hat and poured
it down ltk neck and laid him out, and
pretty soon he opened his eyes and asked
if any of the passengers got ashore alive.
"Then his eye swelled out so it looked
like a blue doorknob, and Pa felt of his
jaw and asked if tho engineer and Are
man jumped off or if they went down
with the engine. Ho seemed dazed, and
then he saw tho gun, and he said tako
the dam thing away, it is going to kick
Til e nnnn 'I'hon lift rtft lllQ CQtlOflfl OllM k
waniil to know if ha killed a t-oose. and
I told him no, but ho nearly broke one a
jaw, and then he said the gun kicked
him when it went off, and he laid down,
and tho gun kept kicking him more than
20 times when he was trying to sleep.
Ho went back to the tavern where we
were stopping and wouldn't touch the
gun, but made me lug it. He told the
toveru keeper that he fell over a wire
fence, but I think he began to suspect.
after he spit the loose teeth out, tliat the
gun waa loaded for bear. I suppose he
will kill me some day. Don't you think
howill?"
"Any coroner's jury would let him off
.and call it justifiable if ho should kill
you. You must be a lunatic Has your
Pa talked much about it since you got
baok?" asked the grocery man.
"Not much. You see he oan't talk
much without breaking his jaw. Out
he was able to throw a chair at me.
You see, I thought I would joke him a lit
tle, 'cause when anybody feels bad a joke
kind of livens 'em up, so we were talk
ing about Pa's liver, and Ma said" he
seemed to be better since his liver had
become more active, and I said, 'Pa,
when you was o-rojlimioyer with the
gun chasing you and kicking you every
round your liver was active enough,
'canoe it was on top half the time.' Then
Pa throwed the chair at me. He says ho
believes I knew that cartridge was loaded."
CHAPTER XI.
1118 PA 18 "N181IIATED."
"Say, are you a Mason or a Nodfollow
ur anything?" asked the bad boy of the
grocery man as he went othe cinnamon
bag on the shelf and took out a long slick
of cinnamon bark to chew.
"Why, yos, of course I am, but what
set you to thinking of that?" asked tho
grocery man as he wont to the desk and
charged tho boy's father with half a
pound of cinnamon.
"Well, do the goats bunt when you
nishiate a fresh candidate."
"No, of course not. The gonts aro
cheap ones, that have no life, and wo
mnzEle them and put pillowi over their
heads so they can't hnrt anybody," said
the grocery man as he winked at a broth
er Odd Fellow who was seated on a sug
ar barrel, looking mysterious. "But why
do you aBk?
"Oh. nothin. onlv T wish me and mv
chum had muzzledour goat with a pil
low. Pn would havo enjoyed his becom
"'(? member of our lodge better. You
bm) P.i lmrl ltobii falKnf no linw miiph
" o
B00(1 the Masons and Odd Follows did
d said wo ought to try and grow up
good bo we could jino the lodges when
we g"t hig, and 1 asked Pa if it would do
lrt for us to have a play lodge in
my room and pretend to nishiato, and
Pn said it wouldn't do any hurt. He said
It would improvo our minds and loarn
us to be men. So my chum and me bor
ried a goat that lives in a livery stable.
Say, did you know thoy keep a goat in n
livery stable so tho horses won't get sick?
They get used to tho smoll of the goat,
and after that nothing can mako them
sick but a gluo factory. I wish my girl
boarded in a livery stable, lhon she
wouiu get useu to mo sracii.
"I went home with her from church
Sunday night, and the smell of the goat
on my clothes mado her sick to her stum-
of mo sho wouldn't nover go with mo
again. Sho was just aB palo ns a ghost,
nnd the prespiration on her lip was just
zif sho had been hit by a street sprinkler.
You see, my chum and mo had to carry
! the goat up to my room when Pa and Ma
was out riding, and he blatted so wo had
to tio a handkerchief around his nose,
nnd his feot mado such a noise on tho
floor that we put some baby's socks on
his feet. Gosh, how a goat smells, don't
it? I should think yon Masons must
have strong stummix. Why don't you
have a skunk or a mule for a trademark?
Tako a mule and anoint it with lim
burg cheese, and you could nishiate nnd
make a candidate smell just as bad as
with a gosh darn mildewed goat.
"Well, my chum nnd me practiced
with that goat until he could bunt the
picture of a goat every time. We bor
ried a buck beer sign from n saloon man
nnd hung it on tho back of a chair, and
the goat would hit it every time. That
night Pa wanted to know what we wore
doing up in my room, nnd I told him wo
were playing lodge nnd improving our
minds, and Pa said that was light.
There was nothing that did boys of our
age half so much good as to imitate men
and store by useful nollidge. Then my
chum asked Pa if he didn't want to come
up and take the grand bumper decree,
and Pa laffed and said ho didn't care if
he did just to encourago us boys in inno
cent pastimo that was so improving to
our iutellox. Wo had shut the goat up
in a closet in my room, and ho had got
over blotting, so wo took off the handker
chief, and ho was eating sonio of my pa
per collars and skato straps. Wo went
up stnirs nnd told Pa to como up pretty
soon and givo three distinct raps, and
when wo asked him who comes there ho
must say, 'A pilgrim who wants to join
your ancient order nnd rido tho goat.'
"Ma wanted to come, up too, but wo
told her if she como in it would break
up tho lodge, 'cause a woman couldn't
keep a secret, and wo didn't have any
side saddlo for tho goat. Say, if you
never tried it, tho next timoyou nishiato
a man in your Mason's lodge you spnn
klo a little kynn pepper on the goat's
beard just aforo you turn him loose.
You can get three times as much fun to
the square inch of goat. You wouldn't
think it was the same goat. Well, wo
got all fixed and, Pa rapped, nnd we let
him in and told him he must be blind
folded, and he got on his knees a-lafling,
and I tied a towel around his eyes, and
then I turned him around and made him
get down on his hands also, and then his
back was right toward the closet door,
and I pn.t the buck beer sign right
against Pa's clothes. He was a-laffing
all the time and said wo boys woro ns
full of fun as they made 'em, and we
told him it was a solemn occasion, nnd
we wouldn't permit no levity, and if ho
' f'an 1 stop lafflng wo couldu t give him
. . "Then everything was ready, and my
chum hud his hand on the closet door and
some kyan pepper m his other hand and
i asKea rn m low pass tonos u no ioic as
though he wanted to turn baok or if he
had nerve enough to go ahead and take
the degree, I warned him that it was
full of dangers, as the goat was loaded
for bear, aud told him he yet had time to
retrace his steps if he wanted to. He
said he wanted the whole bigness, and we
could go ahead with the menagerie. Then
I said to Pa that if he hfed decided to go
ahead and not blame us for the oonse
quenoes to repeat after me the follow
ing) 'Bring forth th-e royal bumper nud
let him bump.'
"JJrlnp forth the royal Immper and let
him jump."
"Pa repeated the words, and my chum
sprinkled the kyan pepper on the goat's
mustache, and he sneezed onco and looked
sassy, and then he see the lager beer goat
raring up, and ho started for it just like a
cowcatcher and blatted. Pa is real fat,
but he knew he got hit, and he granted
nnd said, 'Hell's fire, what you boys doiu?'
and then the goat gave him another de
gree, and Pa pulled off tho towel nnd got
up and started for tho stairs, and so did
tho goat, and Ma was nt the bottom of,
the stairs listening, and when I looked'
over the banisters Pa nnd Ma and the
goat were all in a heap, and Pa was yell
ing murder nnd Ma was screaming fire,
and the goat was blatting and sneezing
and bunting, and the hired girl camo
into tho hall, nnd tho goat took after her,
nud she crossed herself just ns tho goat
struck her and said, 'Howly mother,
protect mel' and went down stairs the I
way we boys"slide down hill, with both '
hands on herself, and tho goat rared up
and blatted, and Pa and Ma went into
their room nnd shut the door, and then
my chum and me opened the front door i
nnd drovo tho goat out. '
"The minister, who comes to see Ma
ivery three times a week, wns just ring
ing the bell, and the goat thought ho
wanted to be uishiated, too, nnd gavo
him one for luck and then wont down
tho sidewalk blatting and sneezing, and
tho minister came in the parlor nnd 6aid
ho was Ptabbed, and then Pa cume out
of his room with his suspenders hanging
down, nnd ho didn't know the minister
was there, and ho said cuss words, nnd
Ma cried and told Pn ho would go to hell
sure, and Pa said ho didn't care, ho would
kill that knssid goat aforo ho went, and
I told Pa tho minister was in tho parlor,
and ho and Ma went down nnd said tho
weather was propitious for a revival, and
it seemed us though an outpouring of tho
spirit was about to bo vouchsafed to his
people, and nouo of them sot down but
Ma, 'cause tho goat didn't hit her, nnd
whilo they were talking rolidgin with
their mouths nnd kussin tho goat in
wardly my chum and mo adjourned tho
lodge, and I went and staid with him
nil night, and I haven't been homo since.
"But I don't believe Pa will lick mo,
'cause he said he would not hold us re
sponsible for the consequences. He or
dered the goat hisself, and wo filled tho
order, don't you seo? Well, I guess I
will go nnd sneak in tho back way and
find out from tho hired girl how the land
layB. Sho won't go back on me, 'cause
the gont was not loaded for hired girls.
Sho just happened to get in at tho wrong
timo. Goodby, sir. Remember and
give your goat kyan pepper in your
lodge."
As tho boy went away nnd skipped
over the back fence the grocery man said
to his brother Odd Fellow: "If that boy
doesn't beat the devil, then I never saw
one that did. Tho old man ought to
havo him sent to a lunatic asylum."
CHAPTER XII.
ins QiRr. aoKs back on him.
"Now you git right away from here,"
said the grocery man to the bad boy as
ho came in with a hungry look on his
I face and a wild light in his eyo. "I am
afraid of you. I wouldn't be surprised
to seo you go off half cocked and blow
ns all up. I think you nro a devil. You
may havo a billygoat, or a shotgun, or
a bottle of poison concealed about you.
Condemn you, tho polico ought to muz
zle you. You will kill somobody yet.
Hero, tako a handful of prunes nnd go off
somowhero and enjoy yourself and keep
away from hero," and the grocery man
went on sorting potatoes and watching
tho haggard face of tho boy. "What
ails you anyway?" he added as the boy
refused tho prunes and seemed to be
sick at the stomach.
"l'nu see before you a shadow."
"Oh, I am a wreck," said the boy as he
grated his teeth and looked wicked.
"You see before you a shadow. I have
drank of tho sweets of life, and now
only the dregs remain. I look back at
the happiness of tho past two weeks,
durlnBhtoh j have permitted to
gazo into the fond blue eyes of my loved
"T.T'J i " 1 "T" Vt ..,
1 nn,. !,,. mi Itinera. ... -..1 AA1
rf f
.. . loviualv told me 1 w is a tar- I
;V?.?,"??Jl1a i.I I
ror, and as I think it is all over and that
I shall never again place my arm around
her waist I feel as if the world had been
kicked i fT its base and was whirling
through t;ace, liable to be knocked into
a cocked li.it, and I don't care a darn.
My girl has hliook me."
"Sho? You don't say so," said the
grocery man aa he threw a rotten potato
into a basket of good ones that were go
ing to tlib orphan asylum. "Well, she
showed sense. You would havo blown
1 bar un. or broken bar ueak. or came.
thing. But don't feel bad. You will
soon find another girl that will difoouut
her, and you will forget this one."
"Nevarl" said the boy as he nibbled
at a piece of codfish that he had picked
off. "1 shall never allow my affections
to become entwined about another piece
of calico. It unmans me, sir. Hence
forth I am a hater of the whole girl race.
From this out I Rhall harbor revenge in '
my heart, and no girl can cross my path
and live. I want to grow up to become
a he schoolma'm, or a he milliner, or
something, where I can grind girls into
tho dust under tho heel of a terrible des
potism and make them sue for mercy.
"To think that girl, on whom I have
lavished my heart's best love and over
80 cents in tho past two weeks, could let
the smoll of a goat on my clothes come
between us and break off an acquaint
ance that seemed to be the foremnuer
of a happy future and say 'Ta-ta' to
me and go off to dancing school with a
telegraph messenger boy who wears a
sleoping car porter uniform is too much,
and my heart is broken. I will lay for
that messenger some night whon he is
delivering a messHge in our ward, and I
will mako him think lightning has struck
the wiro and run in on his bench. Oh, i
you don't know anything nbout the woe
there is in this world. You never loved
many people, did you?"
Tho grocery man admitted ho nover
loved very hard, but he knew a little
something about it from an aunt of his
who got mashed on a Chicago drum
mer. "But your fnther must be having
a rest whilo your whole mind is occupied
with your love affair," said he.
"Yes," said the boy, with a vacant
look, "I take no interest in the pleasure
of the chase any more, though I did have
a little quiet fun this morning at the
breakfast tablo. You seo, Pa is the con
trariest man over was. If I complain
that anything at tho (able don't taste
good, Pa says it is all right. This morn
ing I took the Birup pitcher and emptied
out tho white sirup and put in some cod
liver oil that Ma is taking for her cough.
I put somo on my pancakes and pretend- '
ed to tasto of it, and I told Pa the sirup
was sour and not tit to eat. Pa was mad '
in a second, nnd lie poured iat some on I
his pancakes and said I was getting too !
confounded particular. He said the sirup ,
was good enough for him, and he sopped j
his pancakes in it and fired somo down
his neck. He is a gaul durned hypocrite,
that's what ho is. I could seo by his f aco I
that tho cod liver oil was nearly killing
him, but he said that sirup was all right,
and if I didn't eat lnino ho would break
my back, nnd, by gosh, I had to eat it,
and Pa said lie guessed ho hadn't got
much appetite, and ho would just drink
a cup of coffee nnd eat a donut.
"I liko to died, and that is ono thing,
I think, that makes this disappointment
in lovo harder to bear. But I felt sorry
for Ma. Ma ain't got a very strong
stummick, nnd when she got somo of
that cod liver oil in her mouth sho wont
1 right up stairs sicker'n a horso, and Pa
' had to help her, nnd she had nooralgia
all tho morning. I eat pickles to tako
tho taste out of my mouth, and then I laid
1 for the hired girls. They oat too much
' simp anyway, and when they got on to
that cod liver oil and swallowed a lot of
it ono of thorn, n Nirish girl, sho got up
from tho table and put her hand on her
I corset and said 'Howly Jaysusl' and
I went out in the kitchen as pale aa Ma ia
1 when she has powder on her face, nnd
the other girl, who is Dutch, she Bwal
lowed a pancako and said, 'Mind Gott,
vas do matter from me?' and she went
' out nnd leaned on the coalbin; then they
' talked Irish and Dutch nnd got clubs
I and started to look for me, and I thought
I I wouUl come over here.
1 "Tho whole family is sick, but it is not
from lovo, like my illness, and they will
get over it, whilo I shall fill an oarly
grave, but not till I have made that girl
and tho telegraph messenger wish they
wero dead. Pa and I are going to Chi
cago next week, and I'll bet we'll havo
some fun. Pa says I need a chauge of
air, nnd I think he is going to try nnd
lose me. It's a cold day when I get left
anywhere that I can't find my way
back. Well, goodby, old rotten potatoes."
CHAPTER XIII.
1118 PA IS DISCOUKAanD.
"Say, you leave hero mighty quick,"
said tho grocery man to tho bad boy as
ho camo in with his arm in a sling and
backed up against the stove to got warm.
Everything has gone wrong since you
got to coming here, and I think you nro
a regular Jonah. I find sand in my
sugar, korosono in tho butter, tho cod
fish is nil picked off, and thero is some
thing wrong every time you como hero.
Now, yon leave."
"I ain't no Joner," said the boy as ho
wiped his nose on his coat sleeve aud
reached into a barrel for a snow apple.
"I never swallered no whale. Say, do
you believe that story about .Toner being
in the whale's belly all night? I don't.
The minister was telling about it at Sun
day school last Sunday and asked me
what I thought Joner was doing while
he was iu there, and I told him I inter
preted the story this way that the
whale waa fixed up inside with upper
and lower berths, like a sleeping car, and
Joner had a lower berth, and the porter
made up the berth as soon as Joner
came in with his satchel, and Joner
pulled off his hoots and gave them to the
porter to black aud put his watch un
der the pillow and turned in. The boys
in Sunday school all luffed, and the min
ister said 1 was u bi;,-;;or fool than Pn
was, and that was useless, ir you go
, back on me now. 1 won't have u friend
except my chum and a dog. und I eweur
by my halidom that I never put no sand
in your sugar or keroseue iu your but
ter. "I admit tho picking off of the ood
fisli, but you cau charge it to Pa, the
same as you did the that I pushed
my chum over into hist summer, though
I thought you did wrong in charging
Christmas prices for dog days eggs.
When my chain's Ma scraped his pants,
she said there was not an egg represent
ed on there that was less thau two year
old. The Sunday school folks have all
gone baok on me since I put kyan pep
per on the stove wlien they were singing
"Little Drops of Water,' d tfer ail
had to go out doers aud air tlxmaelvw.
but l drain mean to let tlio pepper drop
on the stove. I was just holding it over
the stove to warm it when my chum hit
the funny bone of my elbow. Pa says I
am a terror to oats. Every time Pa says
anything it gives mo a new idea. I tell
you Pa has got a great brain, but some
times he don t have it with him. When
he said I was a terror to cats, I thought
w,mt, fnu tlier u J" ,te, and me and
and before night we had 11 cats caged.
We had one in a canary bird cage, three
in Pa's old lmtboxes, three in Ma's baud
liox, four in valises, two in a trunk and
the rest in a closet up stairs.
"That night Pa said he wanted me to
Stay home because the committee that
is going to get up a noyster supper in the
church was going to meet at our house,
aud they might want to send me on er
rands. I asked him if my chum couldn't
stay, too, 'cause he is the healthiest in
fant lo run after errands that ever was,
and Pa said ho could stay, but we must
remember that there mustn't be no
monkey business going on. I told him
there shouldn't be no monkey business,
but I didn't promise nothing about cats.
Well, sir, you'd a died. Tho committoo
wa9 '"the library by the back stnirs, and
me nnd my chum got the cntboxes all
together at the top of the stairs, and we
took them all out and put them in a
clothesbasket, and just ns tho minister
was speaking aud telling what a great
1 good was done by these noyster sociables
in bringing the young people together
1 nnd taking their minds from the wickod-
ness of the world and turning their
thoughts into different channels ono of
tho old torn cats in the basket gavo a
'purmeow' that sounded like the wail of
a lost soul or a challenge to battle.
"I told my chum that we couldn't
' hold tho bread board over the clothes
basket much longer, whon two or three
cats began to yowl, aud the minister
' stopped talking, nnd Pa told Ma to open
the stair door and tell the hired girl to
I see what was the matter up there. Sho
thought our cat had got shut up in tho
storm door, and she opened the door to
! yell to tho girl, and then I pushed the
clothesbaBket, cats and all, down the
back stairs. Well, sir, I suppose no
committee for a noyster supper was ever
more astonished. I heard Ma fall over n
j willow rocking chair and say, 'Sent!'
I and I heard Pa say, 'Wolf, I'm dam'dl'
I and a girl that Bings in the choir say,
! 'Heavens, lam stabbed I' Then my chum
i and me ran to tho front of tho house
nnd come down, the front stairs looking
as innocent aB could bo, und wo went in
i the library, and I was just going to tell
I Pa if there was any errands ho wanted
I run my chum aud me was just aching to
run thorn, whon n yellow cat without
I any tail was walking over the minister,
and Pa was throwing a hassock at two
cats that wore clawing each other under
the piano.
"CYfs anil all, doivn the back stairs."
"Ma was trying to get her frizzes
back on her head, and the choir girl was
standing on the lounge with her dress
pulled up trying to scare cats with her
striped stockings, nnd tho minister was
holding his hands up, and I guess he
was asking a blessing on the cats, and
my chum opened tho front door, and all
the cats went out. Pa and Ma looked
at me, and 1 said it wasn't me, and the
minister wanted to know how so much
cat hair got on my coat and vest, and I
said a cat met me in the hall and
kicked mo, and Mn cried, and Pa said
that boy beats hell, and tho minister
said I would be nil right if I had been
properly brought up, and then Ma was
mad, aud the committee oroice up.
Well, to tell the honest truth, Pa basted
me and yanked me around until I had
to have my arm in a sling, but what's
the use of making such a fuss about a
few oats. Ma said she never wanted to
have my company again, 'cause I spoiled
everything."
Cimieral T.ooli Wituts Mnrft Ktflofl.
Cape Towv, Oct. 96. Commissioner
Ijoch has perfected all arrangements to
have troops around him when the final
settlement o( the Matebelea question takes
place at Buluwayo. The high commis
sioner is also understood to have requisi
tioned the government for a number o(
rapid tiring guns, which is regarded as
siguifloaut in view of the fact that the
colonists already have a number of these
quick death dealing weapons with their
columns.
I.nnl Vtvlan'n Funeral.
nA.,. r... im rm,A f , t 1
Vivian, the Britikh ambassador to Italy, !
took place yesterday. The procession
formed at the British embtuwy and
marched through the principal streets to
the KngliBh church, where the funeral
ceremonies were conducted. The ambas
sadors acted as pallbearers, and in the pro
cession was Admiral Seymour and theofii
ears from the British Mediterranean
squadron at Spessia.
A Orlf Stricken Mutbaxu'a Solicit!.
Nkwauk, X. J., Oct. 86. Michael Zarro. 1
sou of a wealthy Italian in this city, shot
himself twice over the heart yester
day. His wife, who has been tdek tor two
months, had died a few moments before.
unit whan tha husband found it cut. ha
reached for his revolver from nuder the
bed and shot himself. Ha was lyiwr to
bed with his wife at the time. Th doefexe
at the boiltHl say. be eanaet live.
1 -W4
PURGATORIES ON EARTH.
VTHoro tln rmd Csn Wnlt to (lo If Tliey
ltKln Tholr llrmtth.
An a mournful kind of set-off to itv
numerous and brilliant places of
pleasure Paris is now destined to have
a series of edifices called palaces of
death. These palats de la raort, or as
Uibt are also styled, palals mortualres.
aro intended for the reception of dead
bodies until the arrangements for in
terment have been fully completed.
The object of the members of the or
ganizing committee of the death
palaces is twofold. In the first place,
they desire to prevent hasty or prema
ture burials, as it often happens in
France that people are put into tho
grave nlive; secondly, by tho now
method the danger of contagion would
be minimized.
Nothing is said about attaching eleo
tric wires to the waists of dead per
sons temporarily deposited in those
mortuaries, as is dono in some German
cities, notably Munioh, the purpose of
this arrangement being to arouse tho
attendant doctor should the supposed
departed be only in a trance. In Paris
tho bodies, in tho event of doubt ns to
death, would be kept until the first
trace of decomposition appeared.
Tho committco of organization has
been founded by Dr. Bergeron, who is
aided by a hyglonic specialist, M. Mnr
tin. These gentlemen havo already
forty thousand pounds on hand, and
are only waiting the authorization of
tho now municipal counoil in order to
begin building. Tho first mortuary
will be established in an old closed
churchyard near tho Montmnrtre cem
etery, and special departments for the
various classes of tho community will
be arranged. Tho project is strongly
backed, nnd has every prospect of be
ing practically carried out.
BOUNTYJUMPERS OF ALL KINDS
Ono Ohio Man Itulsed Crows So an to So
curo J'ay Tor Their Heads
"Bounty grabbers are ever existent
and over will be, I guess," said Qrismor
Abbott, a traveling man, to a Globe-
Democrat reporter. "People will bo
crooked nnd practice deception in
everything, so that nothing can be
done now without first laying plans to
guard against deception. Look at the
bounties offered for tho heads of cer
tain pests in the different parts of tho
world. In Russia a ruble is paid by
tho government for the head of evory
wolf killed. In India a certain sum is
paid for tho bodies of tho dead cobras.
In Australia a shilling is given, in cer
tain districts, for the head of rabbits.
In Now York, Chicago and other hig
cities of the world, a few pennies nre
paid for the heads of sparrows, and so
on the world over. In every ono of
these cases certain persons have been
caught defrauding the government.
Instead of going out and endeavoring
to rid tho country of the pests and bo
making a living, these brilliant
schemers have turned into raising tho
pests and selling their heads, finding
it more profitable to do so. In my ter
ritory southeastern Ohio crows be
came so numerous that they destroyed
most of the grain. A bounty of ten
conts was offered for their heads and a
number of people started into the cro w
kllling business. One deceptive genins
down thoro saw a quicker way to make
money. This individual started an in
dustrial enterprise that threatened for
awhile to revolutionize the crow busi
ness and make him wealthy. His plan
was to secure an incubator and raise
crows by that system. Some one dis
covered the scheme and the bounty
was abolished entirely."
Tlie Snail Family.
There are over two thousand species
of snails and they are found in all parte
of the world. Some are even smaller
than a pin head, while others, in
France and Italy, for instance, are cul
tivated for food and are large enough to
make a good mouthful. Snails are
vegetarians, and havo jaws and tongues
of saw-like edge, the number of points
on each running into the thousands.
On tho approach of cold weather the
snail throws a film over the mouth of
its sholl, which tightens like a drum
head. As it becomes colder, other
films nre added on tho plan of storm
windows. Extensive drought will oauso
tho snail to close its doors in tho same
way to prevent the evaporation of its
bodily moisture and drying up. These
littlo animals aro possessed of aston
ishing vitality, regaining activity after
having boen frozen in solid blooks oi
ice, and enduring a degree of heat fot
weeks which daily crisps vegetation.
Abovn the ClomU,
One of the sublimest effects in natur
is occasionally seen by those who climb
tho tall and isolated peaks of the Rooky
mountains in Colorado. The dryness
of the air and the strong heat of the
afternoon sun cause a rapid evapora
tion from the brooks, springs and snow
banks on the mountain sides, and this
moisture, rising on the warmer air,
condenses as it reaches the cooler,
thinner atmosphere about the moun
tain top. The traveler, looking down, '
sees clouds literally forming below
him, and growing thiok and black
every instant, so that as they reached
his level they roll skyward and in huge
masses of vapor that eclipse the view
and bury him in darkness. Lightning
occasionally leaps from the clouds and
a mountain top is a particularly bad
place to be at such a time. The stone
signal service station on Pike's Peak
has been nearly wrecked by lightning
more than once.
Scorpion Hants la MoxUs.
The scorpions have become so numer
ous in the city of Durango, Msxloo,
that the municipal author! tie have of
fered a valuable prize, to be given te
the person capturing the largest num
ber. Two thousand of the dead
ly peat were killed at the hospital
there recently In one day. For tbece
scorpions the city pays sixty centa a
hundred, and three times a week tho
collected are counted and killed at ttw
hospital, and eighty thousand wars
1 time Mtrvivad lut Mav.
! mt permits to hunt the paatt barf s
right toenter and search private houses
1 iT them,
I