Bedford inquirer and chronicle. (Bedford, Pa.) 1854-1857, January 23, 1857, Image 1

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    BY DAVID OVER.
sfl rr f Dr f r i].
II OOPS.
*T .4 COOPER.
II oup on barret*, keg* and pails.
Hoops on boxer. tu'ia an t biler.
Are article* imi i spun **!.!#—
Hut hoops as hur pu (To ut woman's dress.
Making tb* woman seem so much less,
Ars tkings most hnU-foh*il>le.
Tloops wlren their sturdy clasp confine,
la brown eld casks the riclisat wines,
Are oujecta of a-lmiratio n
But hoop* as part of woman' i baggage.
Are like ihe wboop* of a pain led savage,
A Til e abomination.
if oops make us-ful, pretty toys,
For aat'.ve little girl* and i-oys,
But hoops on woman gentle
Arc things to snocr at ami to scoff,
.snd like the ivboopof'a whooping cough,
Neither useful nor ornament*].
I
For while 4ar woman hone* her skirts,
And iri'h skeleton ti i ucU an i flirt*.
She basso nine h to carry,
M.tn find* it ban! with i. r to tiik, I
And harder stili to sit or v.aik,
liut hardest of all to marry.
I
>'<.r when a smitten wretch l.aa *:n,
Among the lost m crinoline.
The one his heart hold* dearer.
Oh! what a chill to ardent pa**ion.
To feci that this' this hollow fashion
He itY*r can be nearer.
That Instead of timidly drawing roar.
And pouring into the thrilling ear,.
The flood of his soul's devotion,
lie must stand and Imllow in thunder tone*
Aeros* a half acre of skirts and banes,
As '1 hailing a ki;> on the oc<.;in!
id ir' by chance the naiii of his olio tea
Shall tainily bear her lover's voire,
Ami smile her condescension—
Why lie uaptur** a mass of hoops n*<l rits g
Skeletons, bones, and other t lungs,
Too horrible to mention.
Thus lovely woman '.mops to folly,
And drive* ;> >or man to melancholy.
By her great frigid zones;
Then let her h~r a warning voise.
liet'e.-T bur hoops ■mil hopes mod. 1 choice
A.id g<ve tin; doss her bones.
NEItHOOK XKIL.LT.
runs riesLx's Hoeai.HOLi, wuinu.
—o—
J m in lo'.-f with Neighbor Nelly,
Though I know she's only ten,
V," tub- 1 ant sight -arul-fo tv,
And the imtrrisd-etl of too a.
I've * wife that weigh* in double,
I've three daughters all with beux;
I 'vo a sun * i:b noble whiskers,
H ho at me tills Up hi* note.
T hough a S<]Uarti-e* nd * Buffer.
Vet luo kunstune. in my heart;
Stiil I'm loii-i ot cakes and marble*
flaii appreciate a fart,
I e'll h.ve my Neighbor Nelly
Ju-t as though 1 wore a bo;.,
And would (laud tier cakes aud apples
From my depths of cuiduroy .
.Sue i* nit. am! growing taller;
She i* i igorou* of iitub;
(You nhouidseu her play at cricket
With Imr ti tie brother Jimi)
sill' lias eyes a* lulie afi damsons;
She ha pounds of auburn curl*,
Sh* regrets the game of la.p frog
Is prohibited to girls!
1 nd >re my Neighbor Netty;
1 invite hr into tea,
And i lit tier burse the baby,
tier delightful ways lo nee.
Such a darling hud of woman!
Y*t remote l'r"iu any leei. —
1 hay* learned irooi Neighbor Natly
\V fcai :tie giri's i>olt-ii*tiu4-t means.
t). to ses her with the baby,
(He adore* her more than I.)
fh * she choruses his eroaing,
How *he hush*;, every cry!
How (lie loves lo pit iii* dimples
With hoi fight forefinger deep;
11. w she boasts as one in triumph,
ft"hen b>. gels buxi ofl to sleep!
We must psrt, my Neighbor Nelly,
For the Summer* quickly flee.
And ft c nsittdla-aged admirer
Must, too soon, supplanted im.
y. t, s* jealous us a mother,
A *uspicio-i, canker d churl—
-1 look rahely for flic settiog
To be worthy such a per.!
_\ VVateru editor wants to ktto-.f who de r
the law reoeutiy enacted against currying
concealed weapons itpplie* to doctor* who
carry ihair pills ia their pockets-
A Weekly Paper, Devoted to Literature, Politics, the Arts, Sciences, Agriculture, &c., &c—Terras: Two Dollars per annum.
For the Inquirer and Chronicle.
WINTER.
Mn. EDITOR :—Having A few moments
10 wiite, I will address you a few lines, to
itifuriu you, in a measure, of disappearance
j and demeanor of an old g-ndemar. who
! lately taken up his abode with us. It is
j true, I generally feel some seruples in
i speaking or writing ab.ut any one behind
bi> back; but, as the venerable personage,
j above referred to. frequently does things j
. behind my back, I will take the liberty, j
i on this occasion, to give you a chapter of j
Ids historv.
1 "
: To judge front the testimony given bv i
' ancient records, he must be. at least, 5000 j
| years old; and when 1 beheld him, in im- |
i magination, I suppo.-ed, considering the ex
treure whiteness of his head and heard,and
his tall, gaunt person, that lie, in truth, !
must have been born some time about the i
j commencement of antiquity —at least, he is j
i old, old, old; and what is the worst, lie is
an old bachelor; this may account far the
hardness of his heart, and the coldness and
taciturnity of bis disposition. And being
of a great age, as he is perhaps awuie—at
j least, he has never denied being old—on*
i would naturally expect him to keep within
j doors more than he usually does, think j
, more about eternity, nod not be so much eu-
I gaged iu trying to cover the fair face of j
■ nature xith a pall of desolation. And ;
' sometimes, when he first visits us, he dues ;
manifest symptoms of contrition, he ap- ,
; pears more than commonly mild and ami
able, so that w%havg faith in his sincerity
! and hope in his overcoming his cruel tiispo- \
, sit ion ; but alas, before he gets warm among j
j us, or permits us to get warm, his mis- j
' ehievotes propensities will get the better of j
, him; when "bristling up," he will give us ;
all the "cold shun!dor," march round thro'
the neighborhood, and put a feeling of
! coldness between us and otir best ft lends, i
! and his capers do not stop here. He will j
: blow arena 1 in such a manner that the very j
! clouds will be compelled to look darkly up
: on n. he will act as though be were "I>rJ '
of the m inor.'' take the liberty of binding j
| the livers in fetters of ice, and covering
: the plait.- with snow, so as to make it d.ffi
j cult for men to travel: and whilst one is
undergoing the unpleasant sensations neca
! sinned by toe coldness of the air with which !
jhe is surrounded, if he happens to meet
' one, iustead of shaking one warmly by the
| hand, be will try to pinch one's toes, it
possible, commence trying to freeze one >
nose, or to take one by the ears with his
long, b>'ty fingers, especially if they
; should unfortunutely extend to any consid
; eraqlo distance from one's Lead, lie also
j compels people often to incur heavy <x
' proses, which of right he ought to bear;
; but 1 hclie*' there i*. as yet, no law or
I statute by which we might get so desirable
: an end effected, and even if there were, be
jis never in possession of any of the "shi-
I riirtg dust," neither doca he kiep any goods
I nor chattels about him, so we could not
. compel him to pay any part of the expens
es which he occasions. He is one ot these
individuals front whom we can take hut lit
tle: therefore he is in some re-pects inde
pendent, and he seems to be aware of it, as
jto all appearance, he is going to do very
much s he pleases, daring the partial ab
sence of the sun; 'lhe .sun is, by the way,
about th' only one that can do much with
the old fellow. If we were to command
liitn to he off, he would pay no attention to
it; but one consolation there is, that, al
though ho now 'toes so bravely, yet, when
| the potent sou shall come hack from the
sultry South, he will compel the old gen
. tleuiao o gather up his "naps" and leave.
Hut lam glad to record that he is not
always BO disobliging. He does sometimes
treat people—young people—with great
. pleasantry tud guo.l nature. And I would
just now slate, that with ail his faults —
• you know we all have our faults—l have
no doubt, but that it* one of us were placed
I . ■
in iiis lonely situation, it would not bo any
' better for the world than it, is. lie is a
little passionate, but, when his bcist crous
feelings have in a measure subsided, he en
deavours, apparently, to conciliate our fa
vour, so as to get us to forget his former
j coldness, and to engage in something tliut
! may afford us innocent and amuse
ment. He will get old folks together to
converse on matters relative to the past, the
; present aud the future; on which occasion!,
1 old differences are frequently forgot to u, the
i chain of friendship is made stronger and
. brighter, and many a h ill is made to re
' sound with peals'uf honest laughter, aud
' having covered the earth with the proper
I material, be will induce young people to
j "turn out," and with smiles of cheerful
•! nest to visit one another, accompanied by
II the music of the cheerful bells, carrying
! happiness with them wherever they go, and
these things go far towards making amends
foa his imperfections.
What I hare written ot his good qualities
1 have written with pleasure, and what I
have said against bim, 1 have said in can
dor; but you know that, iu order to be an
impartial historian, I was compelled to
speak of his imperfections as well as his
virtues. I have no feelings of animosity
against bim, nnu 1 hope that we will all he
generous enough to forgive him all the evil
that he u.ay do against us, even as we hope
to he forgiven.
I will now close fur 'he present, Mr. Ed
itor, hoping that, ere this readies you, yon
will all have enjoyed the comment • mount
of this new year, and wishing 'hat y i
might all be permitted to enjoy a hundred
or two of now years, that is, if you could
content yourselves that long; than die ex
tremely easy, and proceed immediolely to
the place appointed for the better portion*
of the world. I write hastily—please par
doti ail mistakes, and always believe me
Your friend,
J. R.
Olearville, Pa., Jan. 1857.
BROTHER GRUBBER—AN ECCEN
TRIC DIVINE.
In " Wukeley's Heroes of Methodism,"
we find the subjoined reminiscences of one
of a class of preachers wo regret to siiy>
that are rapidly disappearing. The quaint
remarks and eccentric habits of these men
often prove more effective in bringing home
the truth to the conscience of their bearers
than the most finished production of our
modern evangelists. But we are forget
ting the anecdotes.
Brother Grubber was of an indepen
dent turu of mind, and would not take any
thing for granted, simply because everybody
l.e did. lie once took occasion to refute,
in his usual quaint style, tho old proverb,
that "still waters run deep."
He used t,o sbout aloud the praises of
God, aud conteuded that it was spiritual.—
In answering the objections to shouting, he
noticed this, "stiil waters run deep."—
eNot so,"said he, "stiil water does not ruu
at all, f-T it it ua it would not bo still.—
Furthermore, still water is not so pure as
the water that runs. It becomes stagnant
slimy and breeds tadpoles."
He was a warm republican, and during
the revolutionary war, said, in otie ot his
prayers, "Lord bless King George, convert
him to Heaven, we have had enough and
want no more "f him here." The A men of
this prayer was uttusuaily emphatic.
Another tiuie be assisted in divine ser
vice, where a young Presbyterian violently
preached against some of the doctrines of
Methodism. Brother Grubber was asked
to ch-so the seivices with prayer, which he
d'd, aud as was customary, prayed tor the
minister, "0 Lord, bless the preacher who
has preached to us this morning, and make
t>is heart as soft as his head is, a;.d then lie
will do some good."
Grubber was very literal in his poetical
ideas, aud not long before his death sent a
communication to the book room, in which
lie commented upon one of the hymns in the
New Book, lie said he did not like the
hymn wuioh commences, "I love to steal
awhile away." lie said there was no truth
in it. He did nut love to steal. lie aid
not love to teai at home nor away from
home.
With one mote characteris.ia .v.i'odote
we will close our extracts, commending
| brother Grubber to ail lovers of the old a .u
eeceutiic.
At n camp meeting they found it excecd-
I ingly difficult to get, the people to sit down.
A number of ladies were standiug on their
| seats and refused to comply with a request
that was perfectly reasonable. Mr. Grub
ber said, "if that young lady standing on
the bench knew what a great hole she had
j m her stocking, lam sure she would set
' down "
They not knowing who he meant, each
i supposed that he meant her, and they all
i sat down suddenly.
A preaeher, after the discourse, asked
him if be saw a hole in any of tbeir stock
iugs? He said no.
"How dare you say so, thee?"
"Why," said Brother Grubber, "Did
von ever see a stocking without a hole iu
it'"
- .
THE MUTINEERS OP THE BOUNTY. —The
i inhabitants of Pitcairn's Island, all of whom
I are descendants from the mutineers of tho
1 ship Bouuty, have been retnoVcd to Norfolk
Island, on account of their numbers, having
outgrown the capacity of their old home.—-
They numbered 199 persons, of whom 97
are males aud 102 females. Some 2000
sheep, 450 bead of eattie, and 20 horses,
and provisions for twelve niontbs were left
at Norfolk Island for their use.
BEDFORD. PA.. FRIDAY. JANUARY 23,1857.
| THE FRENCH IMPERIAL FAMILY.
A late letter front Paris has the follow
: ing:—
The Prince Imperial was yesterday, in
! spite of the coldness of the weather, taken
! out for sir and exercise in the garden and
I court of the Tui'ileries. In the afternoon
i his imperial highness was carried in a ear
riage, with a military escort, to the Park of
iMonoeuux, where he remained au hour and
| a half. What he may grow up to it is i
, , i -siUie to -ay, but though a strong, heal
! tUy looking child, he i assuredly, at pres
ent, far fioitt prepossessing i: appearance;
' the mouth L and ahoge'her uucouiely:
the cheek hoe : * gi Jong auJ prominent;
l the complexity Is svtL . ;.y. But ue is ;usty
as a young eagle. Staroe y nme months
| old, he rc !s uiia-eU' , . vv an 1 over
; after any object wliieh attracts him, with i
surprising agility, and shows all the germs
! of future despotism in his determined man
ner of exeroisiug his free wiilcn all matters
within his domain. The fondness of the
imperial parents is absolutely it. tense, and
i tire geuuine amiability of both is never more
! apparent than when tne child ts iu their
[ presence.
As to the Empress, it seems to be the j
' only tiling that was wanting to draw out the }
great depths of her eliaracte", aud in the j
; duties of maternity the displays a grave so- !
I lidlty aud womanly earnestness of wliieh i
she was not always supposed capable. The l
health of the Emperor, it it were ever affec !
ted to the degree so generally reported, is !
surprisingly recovered. He now rises at j
1 7 o'clock, is frequently at work in his cabi- !
i net by caudle light, aud ut 10 receives uis !
' Ministers, Marshals and high functionaries, :
us heretofore. The only difference observ- ;
■ ed iu hiiu bv those who are most iiitimatel v •
*_- " j
associated with him—aud I am speaking on i
the host information—is that he is otten ]
seized witii long fits of abstraction, uud '
will sii for hours sometimes doing nothing; i
! and yet it is evident that this is hot a state
of inaction, for there numistakuhlc in dies
l tious of Lis uiiud t eiug iu consluftt opera
tion. He liaa uti affection of the instept—a
! sort of tic douloureux, be csils it—which
often prevents htm diawiog on his boo:, :it:d
indisposes him to move about. His gene
ral health appears excellent, and thus se
cures him from the imputation of the gnut.
ALL HOVERED WITH PAINT*
The Aurora Gazette lelutes the following
j incident:
"Tne other day a couple of painters were
, being hoisted up the steeple of the new
j sloue church iu this place, by tuwaus of
ropes miming through pulleys at the top,
when one of the ropes gave way, letting
; down one cud of tue board on wbie t they
. stood with tbekegs of paint, Ac. Amcineu l
before we had been looking up, and invol
untarily shuddered at the thought of the
dangerous position the men were in.—
Turning again as we heard a noise wc be
! held a utau failing headlong with his hands
| outpread, u distance of ninety feet front the
proaud. With a cry of 'mutt killed,' we
rushed to tne foot of the steeple, expecting
I to find a mangled mass of fle.sli and bones,
but what was our astonishment lo find that
tba m in after falling half way, had caught
on the stone work. On casting our eyes up,
there we beheld him, looking at his torn
: ciothes, the contents of lite kegs ruuniug
' down the side of tbe steeple on him. For
a muiucas or so he seemed stupefied with
fright, but Lis first words were: Well, tU
b. darncd if I ami covered all over with
j jjc.rd.
lie- escaps from iu-tint death was hardly
less miraculous than the cooiuoss he ex
j Libited. His companion caught hold of tbe
rope and saved himself.
MARION STF PHKNS'S IDDA. —Porter's
j "New Correspondent,' at iluaton, "H. M
-5.," is certainly "oue of'eiu." Hear heron
i the sisterhood:
I would rather live one year of the
healthful, piucky, thorough-going Eugiisli
woman's life, by attending ail Hie races,
I following the houuds, leaping fences, and
baif the time grooming my own horse, than
! a life-time of listless, indolent, scandal
talking mauity, which forms the worthless
j existence of the largest half of our Ameri
can females. There is uo reason why a
| tburougb-bred sporting woman should uot
I be a thorough-bred lady, nor why a woman
who cau rule a fractious horse, or turn a
i short corner ut a trot, four-in hand, should
be shut out from that straight and narrow
path, wiiereiu horses are not expected to
j travel. 1 never saw a woman who would
scream ata caterpillar, or faiut at a worm,
that had not strength enough to kill
' characters by tbe wholesale; nor yet a tree,
| da*bing, "fast" woman, that hadn't just tho
-oftest kind of a heart for the woes and
| sufferings of her neighbors.
ANSWERING A YOUNG LAWYER.
County Court wue sifting awhile ago, in
It was uot far from this time of year—cold
weather, anyhow—and a knot of lawyers
had collected around lite old Franklin, in
the hnr room. The fire blz<'d, and mugs
of flip wore passing away without a gio&n
when in came a rough, gaunt-lookiug 'babe
of the woods," knapsack on shoulder and
staff in hand.
He looked cold, half-peraoibulated the
circle that hemmed in the fire, as with a wall
of brass, looking for a chance to wariu his
shius. Nobody moved, however, and, un
able to sit down for lack of a chair, he did
the next best thing—leaned against the
wall, "with tears in his fists and his eyes
doubled up"—and listened to the discussion
on the proper way of serving a referee on a
a.i rut tee deed, as if he was the judge to
decide the matter. Soon he attracted the
attention of the company, and a young sptig
spoke to him.
'You look like a traveler.'
'W:ill, I s'pose 1 am; I come from Wis
consin afoot, 'tuny rate.'
'From Wisconsin' that is a distance to go
on one pair of legs. 1 say, did you over
pass through the 'lower regions' iu your trav
eJs?'
'Vis, sir," he answered, a kind of wicked
lo<>k stealing over his ugly phizmahogany,
'1 ben through the outskirts.'
'1 thought likely. "Moll, what are the
manners and customs there! some of us
would like to-knov.'
'O,'says the pilgrim, deliberately, half
shutting his eyes, and drawing round the
earner of his mouth till the two tows of yel
! low stubs, with a mass of masticated pig
tali, appeared through the slit in his check,
'you'll fin I them much the same as iu this
I region—the lawyer sit uigtiest the firei'
PARSON BROWSLOW AND HIS JONES
| iiORO' CL'a'it■JtKßS.—The jast Knoxville
| Whig contains a characteristic and patbet
| io appeal from its editor to his former cus
j '.outers at Joueshoto, where the Whig was
j originally published, lie offers to take
| oiils ou the Bank of East. Tennessee, which
1 are worth "0 cents to the dollar, in full pay
i nient, and adds:
; "Persons wishing to square up with us
j now caa do so. If, however, they wish to
j get off at a cheaper rate, they can withhold
! even these bills, and we promise during the
; coming year, to receipt their iu full thro'
i the paper, forever, and file our claims
[ against then, iu the Iligh Chancery of
Heaven, and let tbeui settle with their God
in the world to come !
'•And to leave all without excuse, we
further agree to take Shanghai chickens
hoop skirts, boot jacks, broom corn, baby
jumper?, fishing tackles, patent medicines,
sucking pigs, frozen cabbage, old clothes,
Colt's revolvers, second band tooth brush
es, ginger cakes, parched corn, circus tick
ets, or any other article found iu a country
retail store !"
AN AGED YETERAN. —The Palestine
American sa^s:
"On a recent visit to Greenville, Hunt
county, we saw there ia the possession of
Mr. Sampson, of. that place, a nt-gio who
had attained \ period of longevity with
scarcely a parallel at this day. OiJ Billy
was raised iu Virginia, and served in the
American Revolution, a portion of the tim 0
as servant of Gen. Washington, whose au
tograph letter of permit or 'pass' given up
on one occasion, is stiil in possession of his
master* He has regularly descended, as a
sort of heir loom of the saute family, from
his original master to his present owner.—
Mr. Sampson cau refer to DO written record
to establish his age mith certainty, but. says
that the traditional history of his tamiiy re
port him to have been too old to work for
eighty years past, and that he has new ar
rived ut the wonderful age of one hundred
aud fifty years. He has boea totally blind
for four years. 11c still looks comparative
ly stout and hcaltry, and bids fair to iive
some time yet.
Right Hon. Elizabeth Jerninghaut, widow
of the seventh Baron Stafford in the peerage
of Great Britain, died at Oostessy Hall, in
the eoucty of Norfolk England, ou the 19th
Ot November Iler ladyship was one of the
three daughters of the late Richard Cutou ,
Esq., of Baitiiuoro, grand-daughters of
Charles Carroll, of Carroll ton, the last
surviving signer of the Declaration of Inde
pendence, who married Engli.-h peers, viz:
the la'e Dowager Marchioness of W'ellesly
and the Duchess of Leeds. Lady Stafford
was married May 25, 1836, and became a
widow, October 4, 1851.
REMARKABLE LONGEVITY. —A remark
able instance of longevity is mentioned ia
the Mexioan papers—that of a lady wuo
died u(, Actotopan at the age of 139 years.
FRIVOLITIES.
A Chaplain was once preaching © * c)a
of collegians about the formation of bad
habits. 'Gentlemen,' he said, 'close your
ears against bad discourse . Tuc reholars
immediately elapped their hands to their
ears, nnd the chaplain looked rather amaz
ed at so practical a demonstration.
A Cotcmporary puff- Rus-, the soap man,
and his soap, concluding as follows: 'The
manufacturer of the best soap ever used for
cleaning a dirty man's face. We have tried
it, therefore know.*
2M r c hear constantly of absconding railroad
contractors. It is not a matter of much
surprise when it is remembered that, ir is a
regular business with those fellows to make
tracks.
A Country Lecturer, some years since,
thus described part of bis apparatus: —'Now
gentlemen, tlit9 here wessel is full of air,
and tha*, 'ere wcsscl is full of waceuui.'
A Virtuous Man,who has passed through
the temptations Gf tlie world, may be com
pared to the fish which lives all i'ue time ia
salt water, yet is still fresh.
A Jeweler advertises that he has a cum
ber of precious stones to dispose of; adding
that they spark's like the tears of a young
widow.
An Editor, describing a lecture to the
fait sex, exclaims with enthusiasm, 'Three
thousand indie* hanging on the lips of one
mati!'
A Fellow caught stealing, excused him
self on the ground that lie did the act in
'fit of abstract ion.'
It i< with faded beauty, as with a clock:
the more the face is enameled, the more
clearly do we see ihe progress of time.
The Yankee who was 'lying at the point
! of death,' whittled it off with his jack-knife
j and is w recovering.
| A Medical gentleman defines winking to
! be an 'affection of the eye.'
; Tran-purted for Life—the inau irbomar
i ries happily.
• When you see a small wiist. think bow
I great a waste of health it represents.
l'pnch says it requires an early start
; now-a-day4 for a man to get round his
wife.
TUF. MILLIONAIRE NEGRO SINGRR..—
Among the celebrities of New York isE. P.
i Curi-ty, the nerro miustrcl, who having
| made a princely fortune out of burnt cork
. and Ethiopian melodies, now lives the life
| of a wealthy aud fashionable New Yhrker.
i lie recently made a great dash in the streets
! with a magnificent sieigh, which attracted
■ unusual attention, from its splendor and
the beauty of prancing stud of suow
'.vliite hors-.s, to which it w;.s attached.—
Li the summer he drives out iu an elegant
! carriage, behiud two splendid bays, with a
i fine large coach dug running uuder the
I carriage. He is quite a connoisseur lit
I horseflesh, and in driving out alternates
i between his bay aud white horses. In his
| promenade he is aecouip-inied by a large
! bull terrier, a splendid specimen of the
[ canine race, ilis wealth is prodigious, and
j as he has neon economical aud laborious
' while earning it, he feci* authorized to
j spend it freely. He may frequently be seen
in the dress circle of the Italian Opera, and
{ is always the observed of all observers.
A PRETTY COMPLIMENT. —No courtier
could have paid more delicate compliment
than the following from one whose calling
does not lie particularly in that way.
At market a lady, laying her hand upon
a joint of veal, said:
"I think, Mr. Wilson, this veal is not so
white as usual."
"Put on your gloves and you will think
differently."
Which can smell a rat. th" quickest—the
tnan who knows the most, or the man who
has the most no-m?
Arc the minutes relating to an affnir of
honor always drawn np by the seconds?
Why are good resolutions like fainting
'adios? Because t'uey want "carryiog
out."
The man who made an impression on the
heart ot a coquette has become a skiliful
stone cutter.
'The most dangerous kind of a bat that
flits at night is the brick bat.
A polite young lady recently asserted
that she lived near a barn-yard, and that
it was impossible for her to sleep in t!v
morning, on account of the crowing of a
gentleman hen.
There is reason in all things. Some per
son was asked why B stood before C? Be
cause was the answer, a matt must B before
he cau C.
"Well, Dick." said a doctor to a polite
mati, whose wife he had been attending
"bow is your wife?"
"ftheis dead, I you."
VOL. 30. WO. 4
COD'S WORLD IS WORTHY
BETTER ME*.
a —
ttztiAts iuasi.r.
Ce'i'Od an idle tale they tell,
And who shall Lbme tiieir telling it?
The rogues nave got tiieir taut to sell,
Tlie world pays well for selling it!
Thy say the world's a desert drear—
Still plunged w tit Egypt's blindness!
That we were sent to sailer here—
IV hut ty a God of kindness?
That since the world has gout- astray,
It mast be so for aver;
And we should stand stall rd obey
Its Itcsolalers! Never!
\V c'ii labor for the better time,
With ail our might of Press and Pen;
lielieve mo, 'ti a truth sublime,
God's world is worthy better men.
With paradise the world began,
A world of love and gladnessr
Its beauties may be marr'd by man
With a'l his cruae and madness,
Yet 'tis a brave work still. Love brings
A sunshine for the dreary,
With all our strife, sweet rest hath v.iuga
To fold o'er hearts aweary.
The sun in glory like a God,
To-day climbs up heaven's bosom,
The flower tijion the jewel'd sod
lr. sweet love lessons blossom,
As radiant of immortal youth
And beauty, as in Eden; then
Believe u.e -'tis a liobie truth,
God's wor.d u worthy better men.
Oh! thej are bold, knaves ever bold,
Who say we are doomed to anguish,
That mens 1:1 God's own image eoul'd
Like bound slaves must languish.
Probe Nature's heart to its red core,
There's more of good lhan evil;
And man— down trampled man —it mora
Of Augel than of Devil.
Prepare to die? Prepare to live!
Wo know not what is living;
And let us lor the world's good give.
As God is ever giving;
Give Action, Thought, Love, Wealth, ami
T hue
To win the primal age again;
Behave nae 'tis a trure sublime,
God's woilu is worthy barter men.
The attention of transgressors is in invi
ted !o the following piece of psalmody:
"Wo bad a dream the other night.
When all around was Still—
We dreamed wc saw a host of folks
i'ay up their Printer's biiil"
UNITED STATES MAGAZINE
FOR 1857
J.VG THE U E.YLA R GEME.\ T,
AND STILL GREAT*]* ATTRAC
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wise increased accordingly. We reter with
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THE LIFE OF GEORGE WASH
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MAJOR JACK
DO WRING'S THIRTY YEARS I*
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!M.GSTKATEI>,
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AND THt
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WITH PORTRAITS.
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