PI
Unto how many men each hour
Frail liftle-fingers seek to bring
‘Some gentle gift of love, some flowsr
That is the Soul's best offering?
Some happiness waich we despise,
Some boon we toss aside forever
~Ahd only that our selfish eyes
May smile one moment on the gives
How many of us count our treasure
The little lives that perish thus,
To garner us a moment's pleasura
A moment's space to comfort ust
Blind, ever blind, we front the sun
And cannot see the angels near us,
Forget the tender duties done
By willing slaves toshelp and cheer us.
Barth and its fulness, all the fair
Creations of this heaven and air,
All lives which die that we may live
All gifts of service, we pass by,
~All blessings Love hath power to give
We scorn, O God, or we deny!
~— Robert Buchanai.
A REMARKABLE STORY.
BY WARDON ALLAN CURTIS,
The way to Barbury was long, and
James Hutchins having offered to tell
another story of the sea, I gladly ac-
© cepted his offer, and he began:
“In the year 1801 my grandfather,
William Truscott, found himself skipper
and owner of the fast-sailin’ brig Mary
Ann, of Marblehead. He warn’t more
than twenty-four years old at the time,
and considered himself mighty fortunate
«n bein’ so well fifed so early in life.
But seems as if he congratulated himself
too soon. About the time he got to be
skipper there came a streak of hard
times, and nary\ a vessel sailed from
Marblehead for furrin parts for several
months. Even after times did begin to
get better, ‘none of the merchants of the
town seemed to want the Mary Aun to
carry their cargoes. My grandfather
was down on the wharf one day, sittin’
on a pile, lookin’ at the brig, and won-
derin’ what made his luck turn bad so,
when he see comin’ towards him old
Ephraim Bagley, the undertaker. Grand-
father thinks to himself that old Bagley
see he was in danger of starvin’ before
- long, and was goin’ to try to sell him a
coffin before his money was all gone, so
he turned away, for he hated the old
feller, and wouldn't have patronized him
for a good deal.
©Brig hain't been doin’ much these
.. days, has it?” said Bagley. ~~ .
++ tNop,’ said my grandfather.
¢ 4] have been thinkin’ of sendin’ a
_acargo to furrin parts, but Idon't
g’pose there's any use of askin’ the
captain of the Mary Apu to carry it.
Has ship is too busy—he! hel He hain’t
taken a Marblehead cargo for six months.
e is too busy, he is. He! nel hel hel’
¢sGrandfather was mad enough to
choke the old feller, but he couldn't
afford to lose a chance to get a cargo, so
he looked up respectfully enough, and
"said he warn’t busy, and asked Bagley
what he wanted to carry and where he
wanted it carried. ;
++ ‘Never you mind wkat nor where till
I make terms,’ said Bagley. ‘You're
losin’ money, young man. You know
that won't do to keep your vessel idle
like this, and the longer she stays idle,
the less likely it is that people will ever
want to use her. She's beginnin’ to get
a bad name already. People try to find
some reason why she ain’t used, and say
she’s cranky, leaky, doesn’t mind her
helm, and other things. Now J offer to
pay. the wages of the crew, pervide all
the food and supplies necessary for a
v'yage, you to firnish ship and get noth-
in’ but your board. You can’t stay
around here doin’ nothin’, your board is
worth more than that, and as said,
your ship will get a bad name if she stays
. idle much longer.’
stGrandfather see the old feller was
talkin’ sense, even if he was drivin’ a
hard bargain, so he said: ¢‘I will take
you up. = Where do you want to go!”
¢ sNaples,’ siad Bagley; ‘an I want
to take a cargo of coffins. They are
-~
havin’ the plague over there, and I have:
a lot of coflins on band. I think there
is a chance to make money. Then folks
is dying faster tban they can turn out
coffins. I have 600 coffins on hand—a
batch I made up when that yellow fever
ship from Surinam put in at Boston, but
this State was too cold, the fever didn't
take holt, and I've got all them coffins
on hand. I expect to make a big thing
out of them Italians.’ :
“Grandfather knew that the Italians
didn’t use no coffins, scarcely ever bota-
erin’ with graves; but he didn’t tell old
Bagley so. He merely remarked that it
would be necessary for 'em to load the
cargo nights, for sailors was such super-
stitious critturs that it would be hard to
get a crew tosaila ship loaded with
coffins.
++0ld Bagley seed to puttin’ the coffins
aboard—him and grandfather. There
was all kinds. Plain wood-colored ones;
red, white, aad blue. ones for Revolu-
tionary veterans; black-walnut and ma-
hogany ones; some with leather handles,
some with silver handles; and there was
| seventy-five that was all padded and
upholstered inside, with perfumery bags
put around under the paddin’; had
patent snap-lock, and little glass win-
dows over the place where the face comes
* that could be open and shut.
‘Grandfather soon got a crew togeth-
er, and made everything ready to. sail.
When the day for sailin’ come, what did
he see but old Marm Bagley a-heavin'
down the wharf, closely follered by her
particular friend the Widder Haskins,
both on 'om carryin’ baskets full o’ knit-
iw’ work, and two big bagsl He ob-
served something squirmin’ ’round in
the bags, and he thought mebbe it was
"gels. He axed Mis’ Bagely if 1t was,and
he said no, it was cats; she was goin’ on
‘the v'yage,she and Mis’ Haskins,and they
“was goin’ to take the cats for company.
‘Great Scott! he was took back. Here
: was, a-goin’ to make a v'yage with
‘acargo of coffins, and a lot of cats for
yoors! Every one knows that cats
y uplucky critturs to haye on a ship.
Mis" Bagley,’ said grandfather, ‘all
‘got left to do to make this v'y-
to set sail on Friday,
on board, for they'll leave the ship.-
Coffins and cats] Jerusalem crickets!’
«‘Marm Bagley took the cats down
into the cabin, and, thinkin' that the
} vessel was loaded with sideboards, re-
volvin’ bookcases, and bedsteads, the
crew made sail on her; and before long
the Massachusetts coast was out of sight.
| Nothin’ happened on the v'yage across,
’cept when Marm Bagley let out her cats,
on the fourth day from pott, and some
of the old sailors took to tellin’ yarns
about the strange misfortunes what had
happened to ships havin’ cats on board,
especially where they was black cats with
white tips on their tails, like eight of
Marm Bagley's twenty-seven.
“The ship went across the Atlantic
all right, and passed through the Straits
of Gibraltar. The evenin’ arter the pas-
sage, grandfather ‘was leanin’ on the rail
lookin’ at the sea, and thinkin what
hard luck he was havin’ with his ship,
when the mate came alongside and says:
¢+ sWilliam, you have allers been a
good friend to me, and I want to tell you
something I heard Bagley tellin’ his wife
last night. He says that when we get to
Naples, and the crew finds out that them
boxes below contain coffins—and he is
goin’ to be sure and tell ’em—they will
all refuse to make the return v'yage.
what with coffins and cats both bein’
worked up to a high degree. He says
you hain’t got no money to pay for a new
crew, he only agreein’ to pay this one,
and he expects to buy the ship of you
dog-cheap, for you would rather sell it
cheap than leave it to rot in Naples Bay.’
‘Grandfather felt bad when he heard
this, for he knew he couldn't sell his
ship to the Italians, they doin’ most of
their navigatin’ in them little lantern-
rigged zebras, and his oaly chance, and
a slim one too, was to sell it to some
stray Englishman. He couldn’t ses no
way out of the difficulty, so he went to
bed wishin’ that old Bagley 'was in one
of his own coffins planted in Mablehead
graveyard.
+‘When he came on deck in the morn-
in’ he found the mates looking through
the long glass at a vessel to windward.
He took a squint likewise, and sec that
it was an Algerine pirate vessel. There
was the banks of oars, and the red flag
with a white spot on. it floatin™ at the
mast-head. Grandfather’ first impulse
was to crowd on all sail and try to es-
cape, but then he remembered what the
mate had told him the night before, and
‘he thought to himself that he might as
well be in the hands of a pirate {rom
Aloiers as a pirate from Mablehead, so
he sot down and never uttered a word.
Pretty soon Bagley came od deck, and
when he was told that pirates was chasin’
‘em, he got frantic. He began givin’
orders to the . crew, but as he
ddin’t give none of ’em correct,
nobody minded him. The pirate ship
kept gettin’ a little bit nearer, and grand-
father done what I allers considered a
very queer thing. He decided to turn
Mohammedan. . He thought to himself
that it was pretty likely that the pirates
would catch'em, even if they did try to
get away. Then they would be made
slaves until their friends ransomed them.
As for him, he didn’t have no friends or
near relatives to ransom him. If he
would turn Mohammedan, the Algerines
would set him free and make a great man
of him, like they allers did with Chris-
tian slaves who turned. Then he would
see that the crew was sent home without
ransom—all except Bagley; he would
buy him, and make him work all-fired
hard. If the ship got away, them he
would be in old Bagley’s hands, and
would starve at Naples, If the ship got
caught, then he would be saved from
ruin; would get even with Bagley, and
the crew would be no worse nor better
off than they were before. He had no
friends to leave in America. The only
thing that troubled him was leavin’ his
religion; but he said to himself that if
such pizen scoundrels as Bagley could be
deacons in the church, he didn't care
much about leavin’ such a concern.
Right there is where I allers held he done
wrong. It ain’t no reason for leavin’a
good institution like the church because
a bad man happens to belong to it.
‘‘Well, Bagley seed that grandfather
didn’t t8ke interest in the question
whether the Mary Ann could beat the
pirate, so hesaid, ‘Truscott, if you will
get us out of this scrape, I will give you
two hundred dollars.’
«Grandfather looked around and seen
the pirate was gettin’ a little bit nearer,
and he never said a word,
te I'l] give you thrée hundred,’ said
Bagley: ‘ain’t that enough?’
“‘Grandfather never said a word, and
Bagley went forward. By-and-by he
came back.
¢¢ ¢Truscott, what's the matter with
you, anyway?’
¢-Grandfather up and told him what
the mate had heard him tellin’ his wife,
and said this was the reason he didn’t
take no interest in escapin’ the pirate.
++ ¢Truscott,’ says Bagley, ‘if you will
get us out of this scrape, I swear on the
Bible that I'll give you the proceeds of
this v’yage, and promise not to get the
crew to desert at Naples.’
“‘Grandfatter jumped to his feet, and
gave orders ‘to clap on all sail. He
didn’t care for the proceeds of the
v'yage, for he knew there warn't goin’
to be any, but he loved his ship; and
now that Bagley had promised not to
cheat him out of it, was ready to try to
get away. He made Bagley give him a
receipt for all there was on the ship, and
the sailors signed it as witnesses, and de-
posited it with the mate to give back to
Bagley if he didn’t suceeed in gettin’
away from the pirates. Under the extra
press of sail, the Mary Ann leaped for-
ward, and the pirate began to fall be-
hind; but, as luck would have it, the
wind died down, and with oars and sails
both, the pirate rapidly overhauled the
Mary Ann, and gettin’ within range, fired
away at her ito make her lie to.
+¢ «Better lie to, said the mate.
rather goto prison than be killed.’
¢t sHold her to it,’ said grandfather.
Don’t you see whem cat's-paws comin’?
The wind will freshen in a minute. If
they don’t shoot away some of o.
‘I'd
riggin’, we'll escape yet.’
{Coffins and cats! For land's sake, don't |
{let any of the men know them cats are
They
¢
and nearer. peakin' of cat’s-paw’t
He had all of Marm Bagley’s cats fetched
out and put around in the riggin’ and
conspicuous-like on the deck. As soon
as he done this, the Algerines quit firin’.
The cat is a sacred animal to the Moham-
medans, and they were afraid they
would hit a cat, so they quit. But the
breeze didn't come up, and im no time
the pirate vessel was alongside, and the
pirates was gettin’ ready to board.
«¢ Go down into the hold with three
men,’ said grandfather to the mate, ‘and
take them seventy-five upholstered
mahogany coffins out of their boxes, and
get em’ ready to bring on deck.’
«sThe sailors looked astonished when
they heard him speak of coffins, but
three of ’em went to help the mate.
Up over the sides of the vessel swarmed
the pirates, and before long fifty of 'em
was standin’ on the deck.
s¢ «What ship is this?’ asked an in-
terpreter, of my grandfather; for all
Barbary pirate ships carried interpreters,
meetin’ people of all nations, as they
did.
4 «This,” replied grandfather, ‘is a
ship bearin’ presents from the President
of the United States to the Sultau of
Turkey.” Ydu see, the Sultanof Turkey
was kinder looked up to by the Barbary
States, he bein’ a sorter head to all Mo-
hammedan countries.
«+We shall have to examine your
cargo, and if what you say is true, you
shall go your way; but-if not, we shall
take you .to Algiers. Let us see your
presents.’
+t ‘We are carryin’ some most wonder-
You just lie down in
and the most beautiful
Some of our
They’re the
dream caskets.
one of ’em,
dreams come to you.
magicians got ’em ‘up.
greatest thing out.’
‘The interpreter translated to the old
pirate captains, and then he said that.
the captain wished to try one of the
dream caskets, to see if grandfather was
telling the truth about em.
¢ «Step into the cabin, gentlemen’ ”
and the captain and ten others stepped
in. :
‘Hleven mahogany coffins were
fetched in. The Algerines looked at the
silver handles, the silk and velvet pad-
din’, the little glass windows, smelt of
the perfumery, and then they believed
every word grandfather had said.” They
had never seed no coffins, for in their
country they put folks in stone tombs.
allers said, and they swaliowed all he
told ’em.
¢ «Get right in,gentlemen,’said hejand
they all got in, and openin’ the little
glass windows, so they could breathe, he
shut the covers, the patent locks fastened,
and there they was.
« “Them chaps is out of my way,’
thought grandfather; ‘now I must catch
the others.” Then he continued aloud;
‘Gentlemen, we will leave you now, 80
as not to disturb you. You will fall
asleep in about five minutes, and dream
most beautiful dreams.’
“Then he and the interpreter went on
deck and axed the rest of the fellers if
they didn’t want to dream some. They
said they was afraid the officers would
be mad if they found it out, so he told
’em he would wake ’em arter a little be-
fore the officers came out, and the hull
thirty-nine crept into the coffins, the
patent locks clicked, and there they was.
The pirate vessel was a low-lyin’ craft,
and the Mary Ana stood so high out of
the water with her light cargo that what
was takin’ place on her decks could not
be seen fiom the pirate.
¢t tHow many men have you on your
ship? said grandfather to the interpreter,
casual like, . lw
+¢ (Sixty, not countin’ the rowers, of
course—Christian slaves chained. to the
oars. She ain’t manned for a regular
cruise. We have been carryin’ the an-
nual tribute to the Sultan, and in return
we are bringin’ presents of gold and
silver and one of the Sultan's one hun-
dred and nineteen daughters te marry
the Dey of Algiers.’
«+Then fifty of the sixty Algerines were
where they couldn't do no harm. Quicker
than a flash grandfather pulled out a
pistol, and pointed it at the interpreter’s
head.
¢¢ ¢Tell them other ten men to come
aboard here at once. I don’t know your
lingo, but if I observe that they don’t
move quick, I'll blow your brains out.’
“The intepreter called, and the ten
men started to come aboard. As fast as
they stepped on deck they were knocked
down one by one, and put in some of
the red, white and blue coffins made for
Revolutionary veterans, and there was
the whole passel of the pirates captured,
as slick as a whistle. Grandfather
searched the pirate ship, took all the
valuables and divided ’em among his
crew. He cut the chains off the rowers,
all Spaniards and Italians, and told 'em
to take the pirate vessel to the nearest
Christian port. Then takin’ the Sultan's
daughter aboard with him, he ‘bout
ship, and sailed for America.” He sold
the Algerines at five hundred dollars a
head to Americans to exchange for theid
friends who were captives in Algiers.
As the Barbary States were then chargin’
seven hundred dollars ransom-mouey,
this was cheap; nevertheless, he made a
good thing out of it. The Sultan's
daughter, who was a very pretty girl, he
sent to school, where she got converted,
and turned out a first-class girl generally.
When she got through school, no#
knowin’ what else to do with her, he uj
and married her.”
30 you are of Turkish descent,
said to James Hutchins, as he finishea
his story.
“Yes, I expect so,” said he, clucking
to his horse. — Harper's Weekly.
—————————————————
The Rothschilds annually give $20,.
000 to be distributed among the twenty
arrondissements of Paris for the assist.
ance of deserving persons who have diffi-
culty in paying their rents,
| Crime is very rare among women it
| Scotland. :
+
made grandfather think of something. |
ful things,’ says grandfather—¢‘magical”
Orientals is superstitious, grandfather
POPULAR E.
Sm, Toby hgd
Sleep is the greatest fat inducer. .
The moon is said to move 3333 fee
per second. :
For every foot of stuture a man should
weigh twenty-six pounds.
It 1s said that the best walking paee is
‘seventy-five steps per minute. ;
Doctors say a healthy adult should eal
at least ten ounces of meat each day.
A Rhode Island man has invented a
device for nieasuring cloth on the loom.
The average height of clouds above
the earth is between one and two miles.
A Canadian has invented a centrifugal
extractor for honey. It leaves the comb
clean and intact. -
Four pounds of gold have been col-
lected from the soot of the chimney of
the Royal Mint in Berlin, Germany.
A French inventor named Picard has
achieved successful results: with simulta-
neous telephony and telegraphy along
the same wire: :
Edison is at work on a phonograph for
the use of blind children, that shall do
away with the raised letter books hither.
to used in their instruction.
Electric headlights of about 2500 can-
dle power are now in general use on the
railroads in Indiana. They are very fav-
prably spoken of by engineers.
Crude petroleum has been tried as fuel
In brick manufacture, showing a saving
of fully one-half the price of coal fuel,
to say nothing of the saving of labor in
firing.
A new lead-headed nail for putting on
gorrugated roof has made “its appear-
ance in London markets. The head
flattens under the blow of the hammer
and thus prevents leaking. :
The alcohol process of obtaining sugar
fiom cane syrup has revolutionized sugar
making from that source. The process
is very simple, and it is said that but one
per cent. of the alcohol used is lost. J
A new application of electric motors is
| for supplying by means of fans draught
for chimneys where very high buildings
are built adjoining low ones. Such an
arrangement is in suecesstul operation
in Boston.
A good cement to fasten glass letters
upon glass windows, etc., consists of one
part India rubber, three parts mastic,and
tifty parts chloroform. Let the mixture
stand several days in a closed vessel and
apply rapidly.
An oilless spindle-bearing has been
invented by a Massachusetts maa.
made of wood chemically treated, and it
| is said that in a test one spindle ran sev-
enty-six days of ten hours each, without
heating or perceptible wear.
ed a device for giving a smooth surface
to bobbins, It consists of a facing or
tube which is drawn over the bobbin,
thus making it practically indestructible.
The facing, itis said, can be attachea to
any bobbin,
The heat-conducting qualities of the
metals range as follows? Silver, 100;
copper, 73.805 gold, 52.20; annealed
aluminum, 38.87; unannealed aluminum,
37.96; tin, 14.50; iron, 11.60; steel,
11.60; lead, 8.50; platinum, 8.50; bis-
muth, 1.80.
Astronomers recently observed, by
photography, a solar disturbance lasting
fifteen minutes, in which vapors ascended
to a distance of 80,000 miles. The com-
pass needle was sensibly affected,and the
effect was to have been caused by a
meteor striking the sun.
The hot-water boxes are t3 be taken
out of the French railway carriages, and
warmch is to come from boxes filled with
acetate of soda. The boxes are filled
with soda in solid state, which is liqui-
fied by being plunged into hot water.
As it solidifies, which takes five or six
hours, it steadily gives out heat.
On the estate of the Marquis de La
Laguna, in Spam, a water-wheel of
twenty-horse power runs a dynamo.
Plowing by electricity has been proposed,
and the current is to be transmitted fo a
fleld three miles distant, where a motor
on a plow is to be operated. The cable
to be attached to the plow is to be wound
on a reel and drawn over the tield,
Liberty Poles
.. A dramatic feature of our early his-
tory was the liberty pole so dear to Amer-
ican boys and boyish men a century
ago, although many of their descendants
have never heard of them.
_ Liberty poles were, for the most part,
erected after the Revolutionary War was
so long an acknowledged fact that the
rebels could take time and breath to
give it some picturesque expressions.
After theRepublic was established we
hear little more of them until the War of
1812 roused the aatagonism of the
people, and up went the long shafts
again, each a protest against British ag-
_ gression. f
During the Whisky Insurrection in the
last decade of the eighteenth century,
when seven counties of Pennsylvania and
Virginia arrayed themselves 1n defiance
of the National Government,liberty poles
shot up during the night in the rebel-
lious towns and villages, painted a bright
red as signals of war.
Liberty poles were erected during
Presidential campaigns in the first part
of the century by both Whigs and Dem-
ocrats.
They were usually made of white
pines, lashed together until they reacaed
a great height. The more fervid the
zedl of the party the higher rose the
pole. Sailors were often brought out
from the seaboard’ to inland towns "to
assist in the erection, aud to rig flags to
the amazement and delight of the boys
who knew nothing of ships or seamen.
Mass-meetings were held under these
poles, which were often regarded with
a superstitiousaffection. The blowing
down of a pole by a high wind during
a campaign chilled the hopes of one par-
ty, and cheered the others.
These singular emblems of protest
against oppression have wholly disap-
peared of late years throughout the
country, except in some remote districts
where old customs still are cherished by |
rural communities, — Youth's Companion.
It is |
A man in New Hampshire has invent— 1
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
‘VARIOUS SOURCES, =
Fonnd at Last—Necessary Anxiliaries
—Pardonable Excitement—A Fam-
ily Profession-—~The Retort Cour-
- teous—At Any Price, Etc, Etc.
Tye found at last a book I've sought
many weary stages—
A book with rarest'interest fraught,
A book of sixty pages.
A book in which there is not one
Suggestion of a blunder;
No type misplaced, no phrase undone,
And hence a bookish wonder,
It cost me not a single sou,’
No dollar from my bank-book,
It advertises ‘‘Harkin’s Shoe:
Three-dollar Brand”—a blank-book.
—Harper’s Bazar.
COMPLIMENT TO THE COOK.
Frank—* ‘That steak is just exactly
rare enough.”
Marie—*Yes, it is very well done, in-
deed.”— Detroit Free Press.
A FAMILY PROFESSION.
‘George—*‘Is your father a banker?”
Maud—*‘No; why?” 3
George—**Nothing, only your brother
seems to be a teller." — Puck.
ENOUGH FOR A WOMAN.
She—*¢Will you instruct your daugh-
ter in the different languages?”
Great Man—¢No; one tongue is suf-
ficient for a woman.”—Fun, _
NECESSARY AUXILTARIES. dl
Brown—*“Anything go in with the
sled?”
Toy-man—¢‘Only a bottle of arnica
ind a package of court-plaster,” —Judge.
WELL NAMED,
¢You might try one of our Rip Van
Winkle rugs.” ba
«What is there special about them?”
‘They have an unusually long nap.”
PARDONABLE EXCITEMENT.
‘¢¢Well, congratulate me, old fellow.
( am a father!”
“Good! Roy or girl?” +
«By Jove! Bo excited I forgot fo
ask. ”’— Puck.
THE RETORT COURTEOUS.
‘Beauty is only skin deep,’X remarked
Mrs. Angulaire to her husband.
¢«Ugh,” he growled, ‘‘and it's mighty
thin skin on some people I know.'—
| Detroit Free Press.
HIS WIFE WENT OUT.
Caller—¢Is your wife in, Mr. Nabor"
Nabor—¢¢No, she has just run over td
Mrs. Calls for five minutes. Can you
spare the time to wait a couple of hours
till she gets back?’— Yankes Blade.
: AT ANY PRICE.
Brown —*Is Crossleigh happy in his
tome, do you think?” Lo
Fogg—*‘Oh, yes; he’s bound to be,
even if he has to make all the rest of the
family miserable.”— Boston Transcript.
A DULL MARKET.
Mrs. Stone (before the milliner’s win-
dow)—*‘Oh, look, dear, what a love of
a bonnet!”
Kirby Stone (pulling her away)—*‘But
in your case, dear, it is going to be a
case of unrequited aifection.”—Puck.
A HEAD LINE.
_He—*Whenever I havea cold it isin-
variably a cold in the head.”
She—*Exactly. Colds always fly to
the weakest part of one's body, you
know.”
_ (Sudden collapse of the subject.)—
Comic.
FAITH WITHOUT WORKS.
Tramp—‘‘Madam, I have faith to be-
lieve that you will take pity on me and
give me a nice warm breakfast.”
Madam—** Yes; but you must remem-
ber that faith without works is dead.
There's the woodpile at your service," —
Boston Transcript.
A TOUGH LOAF.
_ Mrs. Newman—¢ That stupid grocer
is always making mistakes. I got some
bread this afternoon, and he charged it
on the bill as wood.”
Mr. Newman (vigorously sawing. at
the loaf)—¢* Well, he wasn’t so far wrong,
after all.”’— Harper's Bazar.
A MISAPPREHENSION.
¢¢You are getting to be very fond of
coffee, Mr. Hunker,” said Mrs. Small
to her star boarder as he passed his cup
up for the third replenishing.
«It isn’t’ that, Mrs. Small,” replied
Hunker. ‘I'm taking the hot water
treatment, ”’—New York Sun.
WOULD DO HIS SHARE. ;
~ 01d Mr. Dadkins—*‘You’ve been call-
ing on my daughter for six months with-
out saying a word to~ue; now I want to
know your intentions.”
Young Mr. Rising—¢‘That’sall right;
T'irwilling to do the square thing, if you
are. ‘What are yourintentionst’——Puck.
A PROMPT PAYER.
De Binks—*One good thing about
Minks. Although he's a great borrower,
he always pays promptly. He was in
only a few moments ago and paid me the
ten dollars he owed me.”
De Winks-—¢‘Humph! He was into
my place about an hourago and borrowed
| twenty dollars of ‘me.”—New York
Weakly.
A CLEAR CASE.
‘I've been cudgeling my brain for an
hour over this thing,” said a young De-
troit - attorcey to the older one with
whom he is associated in a knotty case.
“Be careful,” was the quiet respor
“or I'll have you arrested for
.| and tell me.”
was John’s broken reply.— Rehoboth
day Herold.
pastor.
the pocket of my new dress, and
easier than finding the pocketin a d
Not long ago in a public sehoo
amination, an eccentri ‘examiner
hat views would King A
of universal suffrage, the
and printed books if he were
now?” s
A pupil wrote, in answer:
«Jf King “Alfred were alive now, ne
would be too old to take interest in any.
thing.”— London Tit-Bils. J
GOT THE NEWS CORRECT. =
Mr. Fleiszig wanted to leave the city
by the last train, and not knowing when
it left, sent his servant to see say
John, go down to the depot and
when the last train goes, and hurry
. John went off and did not return for
more than two hours, when he rushed
back into the room all out of breath.
«Where in the world have you been all
this time?’ demanded his master. i
¢¢Train just left,sir—this very ninute,%
Suns
BREAKING BAD NEWS.
Farmer Jan was walking sadly down
| the
the road one day, in Holstein whe
village pastor me" him. :
¢:Why so sad, Farmer Jan!” ss
«Ah 'T have a very sad errand, pastor
replied Jan.
“What is 1t?”
¢tFather Henrick’s cow 1s dead
pasture, and I am on my way fo
hi "
m.”
¢¢A hard task, Jan.” yah
¢tIndeed it is; pastor, but I shall bri
it to him gently.”
«How will you do that?”
“[ shall tell him first that it i8
mother who is dead, and then, h
opened the way for the sadder news
I shall tell him it is not his mothe:
the cow !"'— London Tit Bits, ?
THE MODUS OPERANDL
Wife—:‘My dear, I left my thimb
ou'd run up stairsand—"*
Husbacd—¢Now, see here,
going off on any such job as that.’
¢How foolish you are! Nothing
883,
All you have to do is to slip 16 on.
s¢Slip what on?’ els
¢‘The dress, of course. Buf you:
n't try to button it, you know.”
«Oh, I needn't!" :
«No, slipping it on is enough.’ -
‘Well, then what?” * ;
¢Use common sease, of course.
you have to do after the dress is on i8
dive down and crossways and a Ii
slanting, and up and around, just as
see ladies do in a street-car when the
conductor comes along, and your hand
‘will go straight into the pocket —
York Weekly.
Dogs as Sireet-Cleaners.
canine numerals.
not begin to compare with this ei
pecially in the old part, as in Stam .
At times they lined the street, making it
yellow and furry for two or. three rods.
Again, dogs lay stretched, singly, in
the middle of the street asleep, and car-
riages and foot travelers went out of
their ‘way to pass them for hours ruther
than trouble to move them. Puppies
ran about ‘ad libitum, and dear little
things they were, too. Lage
These dogs are not a fine breed. Their.
hair is course and rough, and their bod-
ies thick and heavy. But they have
good, mild faces, gentle eyes, and, as
for attacking anyone, it seems never to
enter-their minds. Cats, too, are plenty,
and often is seen -a happy family of j}
dogs, cats and chickens sharing the y
street with perfect good nature. ‘The |
dogs are the street cleaners. At night, 1
when refuse is thrown out from the
house, they have feasting, and by morn-
ing nothing but what can be easily car-
ried away in baskets or on donkey-back
is left. They belong to nobody, and
would lead a happy and carefree life
did they not somehow get many injuries.
The howl of a dog sounds every few
minutes even in Para, and it is not rare
to see torn ears, bleeding eyes and
scratched, hairless skin,— Philadelphia
Ledger. ? oy i
rd EI 5
The Discovery of a Great Kine.
A walk over the mountain to Fried-
ensville, Penn., one spring day when the
farmers were plcwing their fields,
brought the late Dr. i: ]
known to mineralogists, to where a team
was dragging a plow near the road. A
talk with the driver brought out the fact
that his farm was cursed with more than
the usual amount of stones, andasample
was tossed over the fence to the doctor,
as evidemce. It was recognized as a
mass of quartz carrying calamine—a sili-
cate of zinc. The fence was climbed and *
and the/two followed the plow forward
and back across a field covered with
similar/ masses. Neva
Had the doctor been a shrewd man he
would have bought the farm and died
rich. As he wasan honest lover of na-
ture he said a few words to tke plowman
that transformed an exhausted Pennsyl-
vania farm into the seat of the Ueberroth
mine; that set in operation the ex
zinc works of Bethlehem, Penn
built the ‘‘President’—a pum]
could raise 17,000 gallons of water per
minute. ‘This chance shot at a fortune
is but one of many, and a dozen volumes
would ill suffice to note the salie;
of the record. If so much can
haphazard, it is evident that a system
‘training in economic geology will furnish’
a means of livelihood, as well us an
in the consideration of economi
| tions of mining, — Engineering Me