112
Mi nt our American
f'WANk C. ANOI IS, I'ftipfWnf.
Danville, l»«, |h><, IA. I''Ml.
Raising the
Limit
A Story of What Happened
on Christmas Eve
iJy Jeanne Olive l.oizraux
CnpjrrlKlil. 1;> ' ' A mini ',
Axtxx'lntkm
It Wim Christum* e»e 11l :i , 11\. The
rich wort- |piii inu by Ihi' expendi
lui'i' of hundreds, |H iliitps thousands,
of dollars to enjoy die festivities,
tIIOSC 111 IllOllt l 111 - I 11 1 It 10*111111 < s |||«V■ -
liifr »ul what tln>; did noi have by
workiiiLT with llii'lr own hands, the
pISII' tlllls. till, pool' -illng Without till*
joys others were blessed Willi. except
where till* good I."I'll si'lil HOIIU* bene\
olent person to limit them up mill bo
stow upon llioin a dinner or a few
toys for tin* <*liil*lri'ij tin* children thai
it Wank) Drain «'ln .-(inns is espo< lull*
for.
The streets inrr crowded will! be
la ted purchasers, noiin* buying decora
Hons, some gifts of value, sunn* 11 few
simple toys. The spirit of Christmas
was among ther.i, within them. A fa
ther had forgotten that he hail prom
teed Jiuitnii* a jackknife. a mother
that Lurjr must have a sot of dishes: !
brothers nnil sisters remembered at
|.
"WK'LI. RIAIIT SQlTAltlt.'
the lust moment some forgotten article
and were hurrying hither and thither
to supply the deficiency. There were
lovers who had but lately plighted
their troth carrying home gifts.
Big Jim could not escape the hurry, I
the laughter, the package laden throng. j
ile hated lhe bedizened windows, the ;
greetings, even the si rings of turkeys !
snd chickens in the market windows.
He hated Christmas time. And. worst
of all. he bated the word home. And
it was being rubbed in. Why not let !
bygoncN be? For two years he had J
not even heard of his mother, and i
then she bad written that Mariana had
married John Foster. That was natu- \
ral, of course. John had stayed by his
job. and John was not dependent on
cords mainly for a living.
Big Jim. with his hands in his pock
ets. lingered the roll of bills and the |
loose money, over S3OO. lie had been 1
lucky lust uiglil. but tonight, like as j
not, fliorty or some one would get it '
away from liini. fie turned down a !
side street and cursed beneath his i
breath as a little Italian with a basket I
<>u ids Shouldrr proffered him a small j
plaster OhrUt. He thrust out his chin 1
passed Charley's place, for lie hail 1
already reached his limit in drinks. ]
That chin kept him from passing his 1
set limit In anything, fie was no
weakling, lie kept his word and was
had by choice, not through lack of i
will.
The very slcighlictls jlngied "home," '
tuiU lie halisl to think of himself In j
that rutin*"tlon lie Would have gone j
lo Mm hmlrdiitj house, but no one. i
fcavfi perhaps Shorlv, who had de- j
fceHed his wife, would be there they i
nil had wives or kids or mothers or
Wime girl Iti make merry with, to be !
Mttd to, if only once n year. Then into j
"he t'lljr chingor came the beat of a
drum and a singing and strumming !
the Salvation \>'m;.. In 111 '!:' march j
they stopped ncir hint 1 • ;ild catch
the words of the high. -nr
"Come 'i tjf.ii-' Cn-n- home!
Why -lon't : on .ill i.ome home"'
The 'oil'.' finished. he caught « ril*
of fit* harangue I M--_CIIII by I loung ,
gbi Willi a clear voice
"Yes, come home! Come Im » lo
/your real selves! Qnli vni:: sin. your ,
drinkln* an' gaiiiblin' an" lie decent,
boys! It pays! It pays, girls! (Jo
home to your mothers! Sin ain't pleas
tire, an' It costs dear in tears an' hn ,
man uiisorr! Come home!'' He slunk
awny disgustedly. It seemed there was
no escape.
U was 100 early to plav poker. Well,
lift rfluid goto the postollice al least
for his mail. But here, too, was Christ
mas—hurrying crowds, laughter. And,
escaping a bevy of young uirls. In ran !
into and nearly knocked over a shabby j
old woman, sweet faced, wistful eyed,
with trembling mitlened hands. He !
put her on her feci again almost ten
derly. apologizing, but she peered up i
Into his face a kind face with good
eyes In spile of all.
"I was v :i It In* for my girl," she be i
gan with the volubility of lonely age. j
"I nin't heard from her in a year, my j
Molly. She would be sure to come for j
letters Christmas time, wouldn't she.
riilnk? P'raps you know her. Mary
Shane?" she asked eagerly, not mind
ing his shake of the head. "She's prel- !
ty. is Molly, with big blue eyes an' !
curly yellow hair, an' little, like a doll, j
Do you s'pose soniethin's happened
tier? She might - just forget to write,
mightn't she? They said she hadn't
worked to the store for six months!
Do you s'pose —she's —dead?" The
cracked old voice was a mere whisper.
The young man's heart softened.
"I'll tell you," he answered, "I expect
slie'ssili right- married and safe, like
ly, Pole'. I'-l Pfl.t,,- r.y,,„|C- Thn
MlillHf snatched ffiltefitlly »t the
«*nrd« "Mnrrled ati' safe, I reckon,'
•he repeat™) "An" •" happy she's 112 t
#e|iin' to mite married an' safe! An'
Bind!"
'•Hn you a., home," he mh l"«'0. "fott
will hear from her all riitht If you |
mill V'lH'll I'l't air It lore He left:
Iter and at Ihe door ran heed <*n into
Hh»rt)r Ile wa« sliul lo s<*e rtdi ,
Mhorty, althoni'h thai «*i>rihy had "a
croii h on," 'lhe two went down Ihe
street to.'efher and pau«ed at an alley
Where tiew hoy*, with an eye nut for |
ihe police, were shooting craps,
"Their gatne'« more fun than onra
and quicker," Iftotrleil Hlmriy, "and
aiati hlug pennies Is quicker ) p l and
even more lnt< lla 'if I'm tired of In
lug a fool. I've s"t ( tin in the world
in this roll. I'll tn itch pennies. two!
out of three for It. Ileada! What you
got r
"Two hundred dollar* I'll go yon! '
They stooped to the pavement it lid
Tiultehiil, I lie Jltil's luck held Silent
ly the other hit nihil over the roll. Jim
lunched shortly.
"I'll raise Ihe limit In this 'gentle
men's game.' Two out of three the
winner to unit this life and Ik* de
cent!" Shorty nodded "Settle down
and earn a lit lug an' net married to
night! An' iro home an' behave!"
Again Shorty nodded, but lie amended
"'l'll.' loser 111 e1,.1 ,1 nil lie |cl'l.e.l
Ills thumb lit the direction of the river
nig Jim reached his hand, and lln* men
shook hands. Jtisi then a policeman
sauntered past, importantly c.\ lug tliein
The ncwsliovs scattered. Then the two
stooped again in the electric light and
matched pennies on (lie pavement. It
was Jim's lit, U again Shorty laugh
ed. a little enviously.
"You're a square sport, Jim. You'll
keep your word." Then he turned on
his heel toward tile river.
.1 . stood thinking awhile till a po
liceman passing bade him "move on."
Then he passed slowly back toward the
main street. Il had grown full evening,
and the crowd had thickened the last
night before Christmas, lie was push
ed to tin* edge of the walk, where peo
ple had gathered thick as bees round
a Hoeing ipieen. The drum was beat- j
lug the Salvation Army again! A few :
men were laughing, all trying to see.
Jim shouldered his way to the front.
The soldiers had surrounded an over
dressed young girl and knelt about her
Iler cheeks were crimson with ex
citement. She had not yet got to
rouge. Iler curling yellow hair ex
travagantly dressed was blowing in
the wind; tears rolled down her baby
ish face. She was very pretty and,
little, like a doll
He knew the girl It was Babe
Shannon. lie caught her eye, and she
crimsoned a deeper hue.
"Come to yourself! Come home!"
pleaded the soldiers. "Go back to
your mother! Be good! Nothing else
pays!" She nodded assent to them.
"I'll—go home—but let me out of
here now." They yielded reluctantly,
but the young man forced himself to
her and took her arm. She shook off
liis touch like tire.
"It's you and your like have brought
me here," she flamed. "I've promised |
togo home, and 1 can't. I ask you:
Can 1? What chance would I have?
My mother" But lie seized her arm
again and walked her rapidly away '
from the ciii'.oi:s crowd down a sli! •
street, where il was quieter.
"Babe," he pleaded, "I'm not much,
I ain't fit. hut if you'll marry me we'll
begin square. You give me a chance
and I'll give you one." She faced him
in astonishment and unbelief.
"My name ain't Babe; it's Molly. 1
What do you mean, talking about
getting married? A year ago—Just a
year ago—lf you'd said thaj it would
have saved me. Sow"- j
"Now- it will save both of us. I
tnenu it, Molly, You're a thousand
times too good for me. But marry me
and I'll take you home and I'll stick
by you. You can teli your mother
you've beeu married a year. You
ought ID have been, and we'll make It
true." Iler eyes searched his face,
and he pushed back his hat to help
her, to give her a chance at his eyes (
kind, steady eyes, too old for so young
a man, but still clear. The girl knew
she could trust them. Suddenly she
put her arm up before her face and
began to cry, but she nodded through i
her tears.
"Marry IUC tonight," he said, "and
tomorrow I'll take you home. I'll wake
everybody and gel a license, and I'll
take care of you. We've got S2OO to
begin mi. Come to the post office first," j
He drew her along with him. Once In
side, she waited while he made out!
and sent, an order for S3OO and mailed
It to Shorty's wife. Then with a smile
he turned to the girl, who made shift
lo smile back at him lie took her'
hand and, holding her do •• to his side,
again weal out upon the street. I'*:!
Mils time he was no slouching loiterer
he bad a license lo procure, a justi'-e
of the peace or n preacher to find. And 1
' then at the station they would buy
tickets for home; there wNni!d_l>c time
i to ask her where home might be.
! As they swung paal the coruer ill?
' squat, velvet voiced II.'H-ni fl'O i 111*
! t-tore in his I;/, ikel offered Iho laau a
small plaster image of the Christ
child. Itig Jim tossed the man a dol
lar and put tin* little symbol of good
will to men into Molly Shane's willing
j hand Iter lips murmured a silent
prayer a prayer thai they might b ■
good again, that she might lie good
She made silent vows of Immaculate
wifehood. And "lie knew that, being
j good. I he_v would find their hnpplnes.
! together.
I
A Patron.
"Mr. C'arriman is very busy now,"
i said the private secretary of the rail
road president, "is then' anything I
! can do for you?"
| "Oh." replied the pompous visitor,
■ "just a friendly call I thought he'd
I like to know that I ride on his subur
i ban branch now. I'm Colonel Nu
ritcli."—Catholic/Standard and Times.
Gallant.
j Nell—l have to read a paper on
; "Ideal Woman" at Ihe next meeting of
| our ladles' club Jack—Well, all you
i need to do is to stand up and let the.,i
| look at you.
HAIR R BALSAM
Wr- JPI Never Paili to Hontoro Orny
Hair to its Youthful Co lot.
C ur « * ''
MY UNKNOWN
FRIEND.
A Mow of Wraith C.imc From a
Hidden Source.
nr THOMAS R DEAN.
1 ICnpyi Hiht, l»u>, •'» Amor ,m l*f«>*» As"o
rinllmi |
I MIIS thirty year* old and hint not
1 sand a penny when I fell In lore nlth
Button Carle. I luld b. r of m,t love,
but also told her that *»■•• could Hot be
l II IIJ Ili more lo each other I ban
friends, owing to my 111 sttecesa Sin
rns a practical girl and admitted that
It man who had reached my age and
had not for. Ed ahead at all was tery
unlikely ever to lie able to suppor' a
family comfortably.
"You are 100 good hearted," she said,
"to achieve litui lK'lll i sin i ess Most of
the wealth attained Is by saving. To
Mlve oa<* must shut one's eyes lo other
people's lieeiN. their sufferings"
1 win ohllifoil to admit that there
was a lot of good sense In this, though
Il was not 111 accordance with the
teiichliuis of Christianity. which
I! tn tint and I lioth pmfex-ed. It scented
bet t for us to give up all Idea of mar-
Mr' / v -v ~ •;
uvi iii
M -w
LM
HK Tt'llNW AND KTAHTKD To RUN.
rlage, though wo concluded to remain
friends. This was a very unsatisfac
tory arrangement and was very wear
ing on both of us.
Oue day I received a letter which
rend as follows:
Ottlce of Hie Acme" Mining Company.
Antelope, Colo.. Oct. —, —. j
Dear Sir—l Ir.Venil «o open an office in
New York for the transaction of th« busi
ness of our company, principally the
; transfer of sliareu You have been rec
ommended to me an a suitable person to
tako charge of this office. The salary at
tached will be |lf,o a month, 'i'he position
is open to you If you accept please n >ll
ty me. Yours truly,
SA MI'El, I.ANGFORD.
President
Who Samuel f.'itigford was or who
had recommended me to him 1 had
i not the remotest Idea. Nevertheless
I made Inquiries about the Acme Min
ing company and learned that it was a
paying institution, the shares standing
, considerably above par Langford
owned a majority of the stock. He
lived al Antelope, giving ail his alien '
tion to the mine. I endeavored in ev
ery way lo gel a clew as to why he,
a stranger to me. had taken me up and
t enabled me to earn nearly twice the
income | hud ever earned before, bnt I
I failed.
I wrote accepting ihe position, ul the i
same time requesting Mr. I-angford to,
tell me why I had been selected to fill
it. Neither iu the return letter nor
in any that followed did lie make any
reference to my request. Indue time
X found myself iu charge of bis east-
i ern busiiie,.', which was principally,
transferring .-lock, though I often made;
purchases for him and shipped the
goods to him at Antelope. After awhile
I wrote him to know if he was satis
i tied with me and If the |H>sltlon was
' likely to bo permanent. He replied to'
both quoiilius iu the affirmative.
Emma and I concluded to set ui;;r- (
ricd, though she in*li?led that we live)
on two-ih is i.f our Income and save
' the other third. I assented to Ibis,
bui ov.i:i;v to wedding expenses il was]
' two r.i uiths before we were able to (
begin our saving, and on ihe third
tnoi ii an old friend called on me with
a pi iul atorv of sickness at home and
, no ' ng wliii which to buy either pro
v.: !i,ns or medicines and our sir .tigSj
i" ir that month went to liim. ,
I had scarcely given him the tumiey,
when 1 received a letter from m; <""-
■ pioyur advising me (eonfldentlally i lo
put wli.it money 1 had into the slock'
of Iho company. My wife Insisted on j
"replying to his l-itcr. tolliliu hi in that;
I hadu't a cent to Invest and why. lle|
replied toiler that he had bought I.WOj
shares of the stock of the company fori
me and would hold it till lie thought it|
time lo sell. We were somewhat sur
prised, but Kmrua. who Is a level heai'-
ed woman and had no confidence lu
mining stocks and justly so—said that
we Wouldn't presume on nnv profit we
might make.
It was only a week after Ihe receipt
of Mr. Langfortl's letter that ongoing
to my office one morning I found a
crowd of Investors there waiting for
mo to transfer shares. They told me
that they bad bought under private
, 1 advices and intimated that there was
I a movement of some kind on foot,
j The shares had raised a few points on
: the market and the next day made a
. I sudden jump. Then reports came that
j a very rich vein bad been struck In;
CHICHESTER SPILL
DIAMOND BRAND
, .
11 « o*
p *
' J TADIFST
A.U I»»R IIN.RRT.T for cm-cnnr TI:R'S >
_ , DIAMOND lIKA.ND TILI-S in HI U NII.L/
I GOLD metallic boxr«i, Bculed MviiU Bluest 1
I Ribbon. TAKC NO < rnnn. riwr oFyourV
! Drußflil and tor < S
j DIAMOND m:\N!> »»: tv»r tw V.f
I years reßard«*«l ns Fc-Always Kcliui
SOLD BY ALL DfiUGGISI
TRIKD EVERYWHERE
ttf Arm* win. I it» tM
*hn mi not lotted »n rt«e tot » te»ll nt
t»«. th» n after •tl*M fit* «"t
tied down ♦»> itlmtM 2<*» per i-ent *)*»»#
What II hnit been hlipii I wn« advised
In lay |l
One fnornlfiif I f peplred n < hHI
tny wn|ii«j« fur HIHHII M.HSI. patabtp
to tny wife'* wider Ihefe w»« iw M
fpf ftcpnltlp inylftlf H. but plntti-d t» I!
«tit* n till of impel mi which wa* writ
ten, "iTofll im 1 mm share* of Aeil ■
mining «io U " Emma and I bad
watched Ihii H«e In Ihp price ef ll' -
afnck nml knrft that (112 mir myiM«»rl«iti»
friend liml really bought ili« ahaies fnf
im we would have tlii l profit will II .
liiil my wife Insisted iltnl tberp would
lip mimp fpa mi why «<■ wouldn't til
It. When If eittnc He *if» flltivxi |i
snrprlaed as If we bed known Itnthltiu'
nlmitt tin" mutter. We wrf " certainly
deitvhtpd.
Ami now wp twenti bp PonsMtneil
hv II gnawing pflrlmlljf a* to who *M
«.iir unknown frti'iiil We spent nil mir
leisure tliro trying to think of an ue
oup who for some reason had (Im* fa
tori'il us, going over every relative unit
every frlpnd both of hers nml tnlnp I
fwnlN n iiiimlMT of persons to whom
I hint lon mil or given sinnli sums of '
roonpy, hot imf otip of thorn hnd pvcr
(ifiM|*wl, nml certainly none of them
win named t.ancford.
I received my £2.0011 nt n limp when,
owing to it fiii.'ipin 1 tlmrp wci
many 1 >:• p-^:ilm? <o In? picked up In riv-
IIIPIPII paving stocks. I lnvc fed t!i ■
ntnoinit mil within Ipii mouth* had '
•ton!ill1 i', rtplfal I lint I . I owispil
.<4.000 of s • -uritlps paying HIP n p»>''
Intprpol. .Mimi n your nfipr my Hint
acquisition Mr. Tjingford telegraphed
inp onp iii«»ri:iiiir to Imy nomp shares of
HIP Sarah Ann company, located In t'i •
vicinity of the ,\pnip I pn' my
SI,OOO into flip n short
time news cainp that nn extension 'if !
the valuable vein In the Acme mine
hnd hppn struck In the Sarah Ann I
hoitltht the shurpn of the latlpr nt 7
cents nml sold them for S2.
I hnd now nn income snfUcleiit t<»
iiipport niy fnnilly very comfprtnbly
without enrnlns n pent by my own
inhiir. I determined to en to Colorado
anil llnd out who tills man was who
had plneed n fortune In my hand. I
wrote him thnt I proposed to put some '
one In the office to attend to the inisi- !
ness diirltic my absence nml would In* j
with him In a couple of weeks.
I received a reply to Hits letter nntl
fylns? me that lie would be in New
York before long and If I wished to
see him I could then have nn op|mr 1
tunlty, liut thnt it would avail me
nothing, since I would not see one
who was at ail familiar to me. As for
the thanks I had sent him. he had ■
much more reason to thank me than I
l.ad to thank him.
■ fter the receipt of this information
Ei unn ami I again racked our brains !
to remember some one who was tiius ■
indebted to me. but met with no bet
ter success than before. Langford con- j
tinned to j lost me as to what mining j
shares to buy or to sell, but never did
so except on accurate information of 1
the mines. j
A time came when my investments '
,;itve me n'l the income I required, and
1 resolved t" investigate my lienefac
tor. Without notifying him of my in
tention, 1 went to Colorado, and one
morning .appeared in his office, which
meant*lilie li. il been removed to Colo (
rado Sprint 1 * A man over fifty years
of age w;s pointed out to me by the
clerks as Ijiugforil 1 Advanced to
make myself known lie rose, pressed
my lia"d K'l'l to ii.i ;
"Dine with me this evening at uiy
house Meanwhile say nothing to any
one hire alsiuf our connection."
He bowed me out. and to kill li;ue 1
went about indirivth puiu|iing )>eople
about my benefactor No one ktiev.*
anything of his anleeeiients before he
came to Colorado in a very forlorn
condition and went about with a pick
like any other prospector In lime lie
found a hole which promised well and
sold it for enough to set him up com
fortably as :« mine seeker. Other mines
fell into Itls hands, the Actn* from his
having :ru!istaked its Under. Si'v.'p h"
acquired the controlling in'i r->-; i'i t'mr
mine he had mwle money rapidly.
When I lue: Mr. 1 at his
house 1 sxw !'."t only liy ' i" manner
and mode of living, but by his family,
that he was a man sprung from the
lowly walks of life. After dinner he
took me Into a private room We lit
cigars, and he said:
"Do you remember one morning,
when you were aiiout eighteen years
old. walking on a road with a shotgun
on your shoulder and meeting an e«
euped Jailbird'?"
'•Yes. Tell me something more."
"On seeing you lie turned and start
j .si to run. You pointed your gun nt
i him and called on him to halt Itein.
defenseless, he gave himself up.
"I remember very; well. Hut uo on."
"He told you how lie had been born
in poverty in the city: how wiihoni
i parents to guide him. after he wn<
some six years old. he had fallen into
i such a life :is such boys must Inev
itably fall into and had at las! been
I sent to state prison. There, it ier
I the influence of a lovely woman who
ministered to the prisoners, he had at
tallied • 1 a desire to lead difTcrc::
! life. He had escaped. Ills story
; touched your heart. You went to your
j home and brought him some clothes
I He concealed Ids stripe* in a wood. VIM:
' gave him sill the money you had with
j you. SiS.ti". and sent him on his way
] into a new world. 1 am that man, ntn!
j I vowed then that if I ever boi-at'i"
] prosperous I would hunt you up and
, return your loan with Interest."
"I have gone over every person
have ever helped," I replied, "and r •
membereil you, but I never drear
that 1 was indebted for my good '•••
| tune to a former jailbird "
Well Answered.
i "Why do you weep over the sorrow*
| of people in whom you have no in-
I terest when you goto the theater?"
I asked the man.
| "I don't know," replied the woman.
! "Why do you cheer wildly when a
I man with whom you are not acquaint
! Ed slides to second base?"—Washing
j ton Star.
Mexican Trade Increases.
! In 1010 Mexico's imports were $97.-
I 425.700 gold, an increase o" SI'.»,tKX).OOO
] and tier exports an In
crease of
ft
Ki. IN I Ilk nOMt.
til* the-# ittMl »«H Bar 0«<
tl linlftrl fmH ml Hi life keep Jof
• tfh nm SHjrs tttl'iiK M<fit Miirilcii i
In Hiiii \)n i/tifi It Is n great |
hen ter furrow t«rtf. Jealousy envy, i
M lem|ier, create fit tiiai and grtiiil '
limit (lie detli alp human liiai liittery
an • tiff I tile liriiltt tii«c« Its i milling i
Half Hip ltd«-r)R lit tin world would |
lip HVoldisl If I tie |«>op|p would make
a tiicdiii'SK of hat ing plenty of fun at
hmne Iti'leiid of running prerywliprft
else 111 soari h of It
"Now For ltp«i and fun" "No
llil«luess Trouldi-s AIIoImiI lief*,"
I||i «c nre good hoitto bltl'illng Ilioltni'S,
When yen have had a perple*ltig
day, «lien things tune goup nrmig
tilth you and yim go home ill night
exhausted, ili-coiiraged. blue. Instead
of making your home miserable by
going mer your trouble* and trials
Just bury them. Instead of dragging
them home and making yourself and
your family unhappy with ihetu and
s|H>lling the whole pvettiilng. Ju«t hwk
pvcrytlilng that Is disagreeable In your
office,
1 Just resolve that your home slinll bn
a place for bright pictures and pleas
ant memories, kindly feelings toward
evcrylirsly and "a corking K"IH1 time"
generally, if you do this you will bp
surprised to see how your vocation or
business wrinkles will LIP IRONED oi'T
In the morning and how the crooked
, things will BP straightened.
"Catiij CROW."
The term •entlng crow" comes from
in ante-llevolut ionary story. A soldier
of an English n \I nit stationed ill
Virginia shot a pel crow belonging to U
farmer. The latter entered a com
{'lnlnt with the colonel, who sentenced
the soldier to cut the crow The farm
er was |pft ill •tie with the soldier to
see that he did ft. Aftir the soidier
had consutnisl a | ortlon of the bird
lie took his J.t'll. presented It at the
farmer and ti 'd him to eat the re
mainder of the CROW NR he would shoot
him. This was the origin of the eat
ing crow story.
Didn't Awe Hir.l.
The members of a < I reek letter fra
ternity from a southern university
were being shown through the library
of congress. They were apparently
stricken dumb with admiration of tha
! beauties of the building. Hut the at
mosphere of awe was dissipated whan
one of the party, a red headed youth,
exclaimed ferveutly:
"Gee, fellows! Wouldn't this make
a dandy frat house?''— St Louis lte
; public
The Old Problem.
"This magazine looks rather the
worse for wear."
"Yes: it's the one 1 sometimes lend
J to the servant on Sundays."
| "Doesn't she get tlr.-d of reading al
} ways the same one?"
"Oh, no. You see. it's the satSa
. book, but it's always a different serv
' ant "
i ~
No Cause For Worry.
RAINIER ito IDS servant! Now carry
this |.ii TU re to t 11 I! lit lon gallery,
but IK. I careful, for ilie paint is not
ipd'e dry yet Servant - Oh. that's all
rluiit I'll |IV; on an old coat.—Pile
, PERNIO lilaM' r.
l3oth Exempt. i
' I io y oar daughters help their mother
«ith the housework?"
"We WOULDN'T ' 1 F pecttof H-
Murlel Is temperame'.nat and Zaza ta
!NTPTI«E Pittsburg I'osi.
What They Ate.
Tobias Smollett wrote Ills "Flumphrey
• 'linker" in 1771. the last year of his
life, giving therein a spirited account
of the society and customs then pre
vailing in I.oudoii town. He exposed
the iniquities practiced by the purvey-1
' ots of provision* at that time. Oysters
were "bloated" and "floated" then as
now. veal was whitened by repented
bleedings of the live animal, greens
were boiled with bras* half fwnce to
: Improve the color; the wine in com
' mon use WAS s "pernicious sophistica
tion. balilei'dashed with cider, corn
spirit and the juice of sloes." and oth
er revelations not suited to repetition
( in tiiis polite age indicated ttiat ill- '
most every article of diet was prof
itably "treated" before it reached the
J ultimate consumer That '"bleached"
flour is no new commodity vvns also
shown, while Smollett's added com
ment furnishes excellent food for re-
I flection:
"The bread I eat in London is a •
deleterious paste, mixed up with chalk, j
alum and l»one ashes, insipid to the I
taste and destructive to the const it N- j
tion. The good people are not ig- I
norant of this adulteration, but they j
prefer it to wholesome bread because I
it is whiter than the meal of com."— '
Washington Post.
A Lazy Man.
A worthy old citizen of Newport
who had the reputation of being the
| laziest man alive among "tliem hil-|
1 locks," so lazy, indeed, that lie used to J
weed his garden in a rocking chail' I
1 by rocking forward to take hold of thej
weed and backward to uproot It, had|
1 a way of fishing peculiarly his own. j
lie used to drive his old white faced J
mare to the spot where the tautog,
ibiackiish) might be depended on for j
any weight, from two to twelve:
1 pounds, backed his gig down to the
water side, put out his line and when |
HIE tautog was safely hooked start
ed the old mare and pulled him out- 1
The Eternal Feminine.
"Myrtle has gone upon the vaude
ville stage and has made an Instant
big hit because of her daring "
"What Is her act?"
"She sing* In a cage of mice IJtv
i n ® more than inferior V
I eyes - 6aves money. Your dealer has it in barrels direct from our * H L
! ] Waveriy Oil Works Co.-/"#.*>.»«/.«# Rmflnm ' a rl l }}?n?Jf' Pa ' 1
, J A ISO maker* of Wmvrty mpoQlml
WANTED A JOB.
Ttilrtltrt Ms o<d Mi« t»M U WmM
tfcs Msnsgai-
A certain filar wrlaht relate* bnw a
tiinttntfi r »n< t ill' h DlHWifnl lit till
per t*lettf nppt!< ntl"ii» for a "Job"
ma le by * pn'iillnrl,* snedy Individual
1 lute nuil ni" •In I Hi* twawsfrer had r»
ferreil ttiiii fwrsmi In lln «inf man
sirrr "Mee Blank," In- would say, In
lerrtipiinK the ftniti 1 atteltipta in set
forth lil« iftWllHtoatlolt*.
At lite npfitl- nt»? did shewed In
trnltilnir mi 1 n •• »' I*l. n'i llio stag*
twiitiaL'er. »|i i <« i In (tw theater for
ill ■ •• ii " . <ll.litc« f< r tlm
clionta.
Then" were, nf i our • a number
nil" I "112 Win, liiil I III" T: i i <1 l<l not
prevent the n'tili nu.ii 11 - ' mi Interrupt
ilr: I In' ill! t'l* lltiiii i: ,- r MH'lt'ii «oti|;a
Willi recftleis fur II Jul*.
Rni|Mivlnl, nu - KIIIW" manager at
li'iistlli liiriuil in llu< |tlnnlsf nml or
dered liltn |o piny nil Mcoinpanltnent
f>>r llif stranm I Willi considerable
IK--It a I Inn I In- seisly persi II raised
w hat vol • •• II I| in ntiiu 'I ho result
mm I mil a* bad t'nsiM I it\
'I In- maita -r suddenly commanded
him to iii- Ist.
"Whet 'Vi i mi mean liv this tomfool
rr\ to »!■ iiti." I'"l. ill listed. "You
certainly lave confounded impudence
lo ask mi- for n Job!"
"I.nol. ! i"til lit'- Ktrnnpor, nu
cry In turn. "I don't claim lo lie able
io si'i. i i fiii i.l iloiri v,nnr to sine.
I'm n -i' ii ~ itii-i 1..111 v sang to
i '.-m . • y i 'i " !• ■ ;»hk| on
It!" p. 'i.r-of'« Weoi.i
Warn ng the Co.ontl.
A run if '.'i from n remote c-urn •!
uf IIM> ii recti Isle WIIS em: LIMI for hi
tlrst lime 111 it Held imilleuver in l.ntf
laud on outpost dul} The Horneant In
sirui'ii'i! him to look mil carefully to:
tllO Oolotlcl COIUIIIK IO ItlMpC, I till' |-HI
Afti-r nu liinir ho returned ntul askisl
tin- soldier. "lias tin- IOIOUIM 5II•«»!!
brnT
lieoelvluir mi answer In tin* negative,
i,- went iiway. returning later on with
Mii> same lni|ult'y.
Awhile later the colonel itppeurtal
i'lie rerrult did not saline properly,
which Incensed the ooloucl. wlut as n j
hint askeil hiui:
"I>o you know who I am?"
"Kulih anil I do not." answered the]
recruit.
"I am the eolonel."
"Begotm. yon will catch it then." said
the soldier. "The sergeant has been
asking twice for yez already!"
Far From Upright.
tteilly and Cornn were "having It
out." They had been deadly enemies
for years, but neither had offered to
lay hands on the other up to now, both
of them being somewhat afraid of the
issue.
Before they commenced it was stipu
lated that it was to be a fair "stand
up" light, and with that tliey started.
Cornn bad it all his own way from the
beginning. lie kept knocking Rollly
down and down again until that
worthy was about sick of If. lie turn
ed to the bystanders and said. "Sure,
nil' wasn't It to be a fair, stand up
right?"
"It was," returned an onlooker.
"An' 'IIW, thin, enti he be expo, tin
nio tor foight 'itu fairly If be do In
Uuockln' me down all the time?" 1.0.1
'.lnn Ideals.
We?ley and Tea.
111 his younger days John Wesley
found it dltllcult to stop drinking ten.
Ii" s\r ie in 174H: "We agreed It would
prevent great expense, ns well of
liealtti as of time and of money, if the
poorer people of our society coti'd IMP
l ersuaded to leave off drinklnu of ten
We resolved ourselves to begin tied set
'lie oxanip'.' I expect some difficulty
in breaking • ff n custom of six and
twenty years' standing, and according
Iv llie ilraf three days my head itched
nnd 1 was half asleep from morning
to night The third day my memory
I";I I d almost en irely On Thursday
my hendaclie was (rune, my inetli rv
as strong as ever, and I have found no
inconvenience, but n sensible Iteut'lH 111
several respects from til t day to this"
Later ill life Wesley returned to the
use of tea, n» his big teapot preserved
in his house In London shows Old
| eigo News.
Th« Dinaar Table of Old Franca.
Could we restore for half an houi
i the dinner tnble of old France and
obtain half a dozen instantaneous pbo
iographs of a royal banquet at any
»ra between the reign of Francis 1
; and Louis XIV. such laughter wouli
| be heard as might disturb the seronitj
; of Louis in paradise. The duchess
I her napkin tied securely around hoi
| nook, would be seen nibbling a bone
j the noble marquis surreptitiously
scratching himself, the belle marquisi
withdrawing her spoon from her lip
to help a neighbor to sauce with it, an
other fair creature scouring her plati
I with her bread, a gallant courtier u
j lng his doublet or the tablecloth a;
j towel for Ills lingers and two footmo:
j holding a yard of damask under i
J lady's chin while she emptied her gob
| lot at a draft. All of these at "lit
I era or another were the usages of po
| lite society. During a feast of inor
j dlnate length it was sometimes necos
i sary to substitute a clean cloth 112"
| the one which the carelessness or bai
i manners of the guests had reduced ti
| a deplorable Condition. New Orleau
, Times-Democrat.
Natcrj' V -ys.
Nature turns <.\ • new leaf in tht
sluing, Out lit ihe tail she always
paints things red Philadelphia Rec
ord.
Diligence, above all, is the mother of
good luck.—Smiles.
I
! OASi*. % ,F THE £Nv <
fafllla t*d ari4 Oanlal Cllfnat* In
NortHarn Ala*l>>.
I ll.e an f> • «♦« In fh deserl is n
llle spot i1l« nvfrwi in (lie ulltlnrnm
of flip Km uk river. Nnttui sound,
northern Als«ka, by a -f tra*'
piers nlin 112 v the ne fl Id '» af noM
a fllfe-l I't'i'l|n *l,l wit in . 'of
•lilies for II rltl.
A d'»*eii er •lore 1 it • i o!«.
flonlre ||>P ■ Ml . H I- nf file II
•i 1,.- m IMH| , t .■ 11 n.l h m
snnv- I? r< . 11. ■ ' ;f ■ ; • l«
I
r «li 111. It , ■ • rf.
•
llnni -t i . id : l .
fill during tie sit 111 .' t" r e,|
In winter Ii * • nt • i.
IkfMNth I Wh't r • ■ l»r re
creek* fr ". v' ■ " . j- i'- "himl
i i lenrutj s f..' i-e 1 v.*: h t r laclll
lies.
Th» A'-cienl t,'s< cf a Kit*.
A 1:.., HI win ii in the ancient tlm«
was not nil.iv ed to drink wine except
It were viinple iii wine, and how
I*vet s!io mi: lit r »!i sluing drinks
file eould mi lini < i VCII by stealth
i. i. b- llse 'III w:: 111 xer IlltlUSt
i I w tli the kin 112 wine cellar
t ail. : 1. be Nil. was obllgi-d
dully io greet wl Ii a 1 • .ill her own
ns well as her husbands v retire
• iita',h"S, d iw ii even t > u ~| cous
ins. .nut as she kne\ II it wlien oi
iv here she might meet them she was
fore ! to be war} and abstain altis
get her, for had she tasted but a drop
! the smell would have betrayed her
Sii strict were the old llomans la this
respect that a certain Ignatius Mer
etirlus Is said In have slain his wife
because he caught her 111 the wln»
cask—a punishment witt '• -vas not
deemed exce sive by l.i . > who ab
solved the husband oi th • crime of
, murder. Another Human k.dy who un
der the pretense "112 tal liu a little wlnn
for her stomach's sake and frequent
Infirmities Indulged somewhat too free
ly was mulcted to the full amount of
her dowry.
Among the Honor*.
One of the last times that Risbop
: Largess of Long Island dined out wu
j Rt the Press club, where the waiter*
I are all tiegroi s. The head waiter bowed
Hishop Largess and his host profusely
' to their places. "This way, adm'ral,"
j said he. "Tek this table. You get a
i bettah view of the harbor heah, ad
m'ral."
1 "I atn not an admiral," said Bishop
' Burgess, smiling.
' "My tuistek. suli," said the head
' waiter. "Ah mout or known all the
time I was er talkln' to a military
man. You like dis table, colonel?"
"I am not a colonel." said Bishop
Burgess, smiling more broadly. "I am
a bishop."
' "To be shuah. suh," said the head
waiter. "Too be shuah: Ye'y sorry
1 for mah mlstek, null. I got dem title*
of adm'ral anil colonel wrong, suh, but
Ah was all right on do main Issue. Ab
' knowed soon as Ah saw you dat yoc
was one of do face cards of your pro
fession. suh "—Cincinnati Times-Star.
Daad as a Doornail.
'1 tie phrase "dead as a dooruall'*
originated in this way In early days,
when door knockers were common, the
| plate upon which the knocker struck
was sometimes called a nail. !u the
, i course of years It was struck so ofteu
that ali life was supposed to b*
| knocked out of It; therefore when It
I became necessary to refer to anything
: hopelessly lifeless It WHS merely an
; emphatic expression to say that it was
I | "as dead as a doornail."-Home Notes
A Nickname For Barrett.
Lawrence Ksrrett. the tragedian, was
' i subject to dyspepsia, and when he was
' suffering from that disorder he was
cold and distant towsrd bis compauy
One irreveri tit fellow always refused.
1 , however, to tic suppressed. He said on*
1 day:".lust look at Oasalus. He look*
! as solemn and righteous as if he'd
' I swallowed the sword of Justice, l-et *
I call hlui the Scabbard." And the Scab
' bard he was—out of his bearing—for
1 the rest of that season.
Australia la Prospering.
Australia has boon having an exeep-
II tlonally prosperous year, boil: >-iporM-
and bank clearings showing ureal
ll provemeuC.
j -
1 ! A Reliable Remedy
CATARRH
e J XHAY Fives
Ely's Cream Bairn y sgr
is quickly absorbed. I
Gives Rebel at Once.
II It cleanses, soothes, M
It holds and protects a—IM
_ the iliseasi'iT mem
brane resulting from Catarrh and driv. •
away at'old in tin- lleud qiiii kly. Uesture*
' the Senses of Taste and Sae 11. Full size
; 60 cts. at Druggists or by limil. _ Lieuiu
1> Cream Balm fur u»v in atoir; rs7 r 'i'~.
1( Ely Brothers, flit Warren Mr. t. New Yor ..
o ———— ~■
60 YEARS
EXPERIENCE
_
s • li lll k I kl
1 H ikl 1• I
COPYRIGHTS Jtc.
Anroni» a >k«»trh and il«»*crintlon may
antoklT a«ct»r«aii» our froe«n<»ther ai»
invention m prohnMT r ( "itimunict.
tton«Ktrlctlv«»ntMenUaJ. HANDBOOK on I *tetiU
' sent fr«H». nitoncy for urrirf yatenta.
I'atontt taken tnr»>u»:h Muuti & Co. roctilv*
»P<otal noficf, without chnrco. in tho
Scientific Jlmcrican.
A hunilnomelT tllumrntisl »»llt. lamest »lr-
MUNN & Co 3 6 ,ert>ad **''- New York
i Hrtfciich oajci, icfi K St. Waahlovle" n i
j R-I-P-A-N-S Tnbule
Doctors find
A good proscription
For Mankind.
| I Tbe ,Vct nt packet is enouuli for usua
|r« vassiotis. The family»bottle (Wceutt*
nontains a snpplyjfor a year All drug
| ists