Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, December 08, 1910, Image 3

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    THE HONEYMOUN.
It Otdnl Mean What Mr. Tnmion
Supposed
• v r, A. MITCNCt
fl< Vifo n®M two » » >. »Mran rrf«« im
t-M'trm |
I »lltll hcoretl list tl« mllllflerons
time »ld tiisrrlril jm* pt» »« de Hon
») moon
Pomcp'n hsp|»tt i<w day to gib ma
dome *pa»leito» 'lttnit ills jera honey
ni'HUt Mne ninwnln' I ttn' ttrlvln ma
•pm>i aason. iskltt oontr trunk*
font one huBW to snmlilpt Innine out
In dp coootry, When I pitm by defs'm
ob my frleu', Pete Johustng Pete «>'
only twenty-elgln years old nn' n
mliilit' Biip nlggn Hp Itml sh*p<l up
he money mid iKiught « bpnutifnl
fa'm. wltl a goi d tern o «>n It an'
I'li'tity ob slock nn do tools fo' farm
to'
"Mlsta Johttslng" I sn)s, says
"jo' got de Blees loetls fa'm In da
'lamty —well stock I'd. two mules and a
cow. besides yo' chkkens. Vo' onght
to tnlght' thankful to «le l.tttvil.
Mist a Johitslng. I"' lie bles-ins lie's
heapeil on yo"."
Pete, Who wi' i - ti'iiit in' on his hoe
ItH'kln' kind o' solium, tie nuys. says
be:
"MlstaTomson, yo' don' re< kon on my
wo'klu' dls yore fa'm nil alone. I linint
got no one to cook a meal's vlttnls fo'
nte; I hah to mnk' up ma bed in tie
ma win' masclf, an' git ma own suppa".
Den I sets ail atone till bedtime,
ilaiut no house mo' nenr'n n mile away,
an' hits might' lonesome. I'us' t'lng
1 ktiow, sotnep'n < rti< k like a pistol,
an' 1 Jump: ilett 1 bear sonip'n slngln'
outside Jcs like a li'a'nt wn' goin' by.
Atter dat de do' blow op'n all on a
sudilent nn' out go tic t andle. I must'
up courage to slam de do' sliet an' lock
it; don I go colter up ma face wid de
bedclothes. No, M Ist a Tonison, de
blessin's de Ijiwd halt settled on mo
hulnt wha' dcy cracked up to be."
Wba' I bettch done wast' punch
Bob wid de stump of de whip an' git
long, tt must 'a' bin de ilebbel dat
made me say somep'n wha' got mo all
mixed up in udder people's doln's.
"Mistn Johnsing," I says, says I,
"why don' yo' git a wife fo' t' keep
yo' company?"
Pete tuk de hoe In de udder ban' an'
stood on de udder leg an' looked up to
hebben 's If hewn' exnectin' t' spa
one ob de ungels done come down to'
t' marry him. Enuyhow, hewn' doln"
up a pow'ful Job of t'lnkln'. an' he
says, says he:
"Mlsta Tomson, how cum yo' halnt
*ot no wife yo'self?"
An' I says, says I, scratchln' ma
hold. "Mlsta Johnsing, I don' git lone
some nohow."
Pete, be do some more t'lnkln", an'
he says, says he, "Mista Tomson, do
yo' know enny likely gal dat would
come In yere an' be a comfo't to me?"
De debbel wa' n settln* beside me
ready to whisper in my ea", an' he said,
"Tell him 'bout Mandy Jones." an' 1
said, says 1:
"Yes. Mista Johnslng, I does know
a likely gal, an' I'm t'lnkln' she would
Ilk® to git maarled. I've knowed her
eber since she wa' a plckanniny, an' I
kin recommend her fo" cookln' an"
washln' an' all dem t'lngs wha' are
necessary fo' de comfort ob de home." j
An' Mlsta Johnslng he looked at ma
kind a ha'd. an' he says, says he, "Mls
ta Tomson, ef yo' know all dls 'bout
de gal how cum yo' don' marry her
yo'self?"
Dat wa' a might' ha'd question fo"
112 nnßwer. I scratched ma haid ag'ln
an' said. "Dldn' I tole yo' I wa'n't
lonesome?"
"Maybe she won' marry yo'," ha
said.
"Don' know nuttin' 'bout dat," I said.
"1 nebber axed her."
Well, 1 sat dar In de wagon talkln'
t* Pete Johnslng fo' nn hour o' mo', an'
I made It up dat I gwine to do him an'
Mandy a favor. I wa' t' tell Mandy
dat a might' flno nlgjrn wid a fa'm
wa' wantln* a wife, an' 1 wa' t' tell
Pete dat a might' fine gnl wanted a
husban', but Pete done knowed dat al
ready. an' I wa' to bring 'em togedder.
De debbel wa' layln' fo' tue, dlssuad-
In' me to mix maself up In udder peo
ple's business, an' when he done made
me promise dls he done climb down
ntt de seat an' went away chucklln'.
I driv' on, tinkln' what a fine ting I
wa* gwine to do fo' Pete Johnslng an'
Mandy Jones.
Blmeby Pete Johnslng he marry
Mandy Jones. I wa' at de weddln'
maself. I didn't say nuttin", hut when ;
4e woomen folks look at me an' Bay
"Mlsta Tomson, 1 heurn yo' made db
match," an' "Mlsta Tomson. de groon
an' de bride ought t" be berry thank
fu' to you fo' bringin' 'em togedder,"
I felt might' proud o' maself an' wen'
roun' jis' 's if I wa' at u cake walk.!
Atter de cemmermony Pete come up!
to tne lookin' 's if somebody 'd doused
a bucket o' Joy all ober him, an' ho
s*ys, says he, "Mista Tomson, dls am
de happiest day o' ma life, an' I
reckon yo' gwine done 't all." An'
Mandy she so happy she Jls' put bet j
arms ' bout ma neck, an' she say,
"How I gwine thank yo' nuf fo' gib-
Mn' me sleb a might' fine hus'ban'?"
I tell yo' I wa' de cock o' de walk at
dat weddln'.
Kberybody tole me dat since I'd been
de cause ob he maarln' I mns' make I
a call. I axed Mrs. Sprlggln's when j
de proper time come to mak' de call, j
an' she snld atter de honeymoon wa' 1
ober. I axed her when de honeymoon
wa' ober, au" she says, says she:
"I dunno. Wid some I spec j
ober might* soon; wid udders dey koo?
on flghtin' right along."
•'To' mean lubbln'," I says, saya i, '
t'lnkln' she wa" funnin'.
"Yo' bette' go git married yt/eelf.
Pen yo'll know." And she went oft
a-snlffln".
I didn't tink nuttin' "bout dls; bat,
secin* I didn't know when de honey
moon war ober, I Jls' concluded I'd go
mak' de call anyway. It wa' two
weeks after de weddln', an* I hearn,
as I said, dat de honeymoon las' a
month. But I didn't keer. I Jls' put
on de clothes funnel Appleton gib me,
an* I went to de Johnsliur fa'm. I |
»i nit aim* t ■* pf t mat in*
•n h»pp» wfcf , Kt ftttn* fe mak'
I maw-lf lotpfi* wt I w«*
I'lnfcla" otw-i r'Sl* I Imnww*
»• lia' Kntiirt malt' ma *a fntfal a*
| 't ndt ailf PUP wlioii i |int ma hind
"a «>"• »at» dpfp h- 'tip I hp*in
M'tnofiH ifn itMna aain dp da*, ttpa I
dtda' bpnh ptim ntf, an' I lainr np
Pdo do' an Itnnlinl \ot.od) tlMtl'
n me fo p»tmp In, an I J|*' "tMHied da
, do
f'ftp wn * *tsndin by <!«• beaary,
i • .flu nn Mi twit In ill- »IIMP, look
lr Hko dp cloud tomla' befo' da hor-
M« anp
"I Ihmtaht I lipurn wimop'ti drap,"
I «ai«. »aya I
llplmti yt> did heah somap'a
dr.tjt, ' •*;* ivtp. **y* IIP "Msndy Jaa'
dona frow * tint iron *t mr "
"%Vhs' fo Ml*ts Tonixon," *ald Man
d). *nld ultp yo' ico tl» me up wid
it ninit tuk dat) llpfo' yo' brought mn
nn I'pfe topodder I wn' happy a* ds
• 1 «u' liair *lngin' an' lniichln' lak
i tootle kllfpit An' now"
I ■ • lua* d -iif tniwod " do IttKband
btii.til In
M ml i-ttili anudtlcr nntiron an"
fi'ow :t at Pete. I'otp dotiP ilodgi<d
itiit mi an fii - I'tiig I knowed I
■ 'i.i know nothltt When I did know
' - ■ i I an' ly 111 "•! do bed, Pete
wi:' n -wrib.nn nui ltal'l. nn Mandy
i' tt tnoppln' up inn li'..otl on do flo*.
"Might' lino Way," - t* Pete, snya
! • ■ Iront yo' at • i yo' make yo'self
"Ml t Johnslng' snya t, I says,
' in vt couple l« n go between fo'
i ■ll r I done It I Won't mine back so
"it I rudder be between etn when
tU.t ~ doln' tie co tin' dan durtn' do
If nil'll de ttntirons Is flyln'."
"farvos yo' tight." Mandv, saya
■ lie. 'fo Dinkitf II I". itch between H
tMilt ' i I'ttle c Ill' II low down
ulggu!"
I put ma ban' up to ira liald an'
felt do bones IV ilatlron done struck
it square, but ma haltl didn't mind a
lectio l ing Ink dal cept fo' de blood,
so 1 git up ttu' I says, says I:
"Mista an' Mrs. .lobnsing. please ac
cep' tun ni>o!ogy fo' allin' befo' de
houe.\ moon done gone. I Jos' allowed
I'd come nn' see how happy yo' wa'
togedder. but I ret kon I culled too
soon. When de niult'K is fus' put In
harness togedder befo' dey done broke
In dey might' fractious. Sometimes
dey kick iu de dashboard, an' I hab
knowed 'em to smash do wagon Into
I.iudlln' wood lint's alien de driver
better keep away from de heels ob
; bofe ob 'em "
"Better not try to drive em toged
der iu de fns place." said Mandy.
"Mrs. Jobnsiug," says 1.1 says, "ef
I d 'u' knowed yo' had de debble In
yo' heels 1 wouldn't 'a' recotnuiendtsl
yo'. An' Mlsta Johnslng." 1 contln
i ued, "ef I'd 'u' knowed"—
I saw Mandy reachln' fo' anudder
flatlron. I J Ist had time to dodge.
"Whu" fo' yo' gwine say dat agin
i my husban'?"
"Wha' 1 gwine say agin yo' hus
ban'?"
"Wha' yo' wa' gwine t' say."
"Ef yo'll let me finish I'll goon. I i
wa' gwine to say w hen yo' put In de
flatlron interjection dat ef I'd 'a'
knowed—wha' was It 1 knowed?"
"I know,"says Pete, says he. "Dat
only n low dowu nlgga il butt In be- i
tween husban' an' wife befo' de hon- !
eymoon's ober."
"An' dey hain't got used to de love
taps." Mandy tucked on.
"Didn' 1 apologize V" l tucked onto j
dat. "Ef yo' kin spu'e u towel to i
wrap around my haid wha' de love
tap struck me Instead ob yo' husban'
I'll go way an' not come back ag'ln
till de honeymoon's done gone entire
ly."
Mandy she doue wrap a towel ober
de place wbu' de sha'p edge ob da j
On: Iron cut de scalp, an' us I went
out she says:
"I hope 'twou't mak" yo' haid ache. ;
Mis.ta Tomson Goodby! Call anud- I
dei time atter we done git settled."
When I got to de gate I looked back
to say somep'n perllte. an' dem tw«
nlggas wa' makln' up. kissln' each ud
der.
I reckoned atter all I wouldn't try
glttln' maaried maself. It Is too much '
wo'k glttln' through de honeymoon.
Malleable Glass of tho Egyptiary
Strnbo and Josephus both uitlrm that !
the Egyptian glass workers were so j
well stilled in their art that they iuii- I
tattnl the amethyst and other precious I
stones to jierfectlon. Malleable glass
was one of the secret arts of the an
cterns, the formula for miticlng it being
now reckoned as lost. Strabo men
tions n cup of glnss which could be
hammered Into any desired shape, the
material of which It was composed be
Ing as ductile as lead.
How Plant* Remain Upright.
If a flowerpot Is laid on lt<« side the
stalk of the plant growing In it grail
nally curves upward until il resumes
the vertical position. This Is culled
geotropic curvature, and the question
is by what means the plant is stimu
lated to change Its direction of growth,
lino theory avers that movable starch
grains In the plant cells fall to the low
er side as the position Is changed and
by their pressure Influence the mech
anism of growth.
Hl* World.
Pretty Girl tto Charles, her betroth
edi—Charley, how far Is It around the
world? Isn't It 24.000"
Charles (puttiug both arms around
her)— That's all a mistake, love. It is
only nbout twenty-four Inches "
A Legal Vi*w.
"The Bible says that uo man can
serve two masters."
"Yes. That's probably the first law
against bigamy ever put down."—
Cleveland Leader
Some Nautical Facts.
A knot Is ti.oßo fe"t long. The dis
tance from Now York to Liverpool ia
3.0C4 nautical miles by the northern
track and 3.130 by the southern track.
The former course Is taken by vessels
bound for New York, the latter by ves
sels bound for Llverjiool. From Liver
pool to New York the distances sra
respectively 3.030 aud 3,100 tnlles.
In estimating records the points tak
en on either side are Sandy llook and
Haunt's rock, Quecnstown harbor.
The first light sighted on the British
coast is the Bull. Cow and Calf, Ire
land. and on the American coast ei
ther Nantucket or I-ire Island.
A FOu I Mil GIANT
And Ho* He Was Implied \o
Win * Champion Onm»».
Br ARNOLD TWACV.
|t'n|,»lt*hl |*tn It Anit'rt<«« A**fl
rl»lt«fi I
"I hmp rnlN," *«M I'nplntn llrtt
Til' kff «112 *HP I'mltlnton InMlxill Inm
fr> Mt«* MM Klitrm, 'on n ttHtllrt of
* very delicate nature "
indeed," until Mtm Storm. often tttf
R |«alr of bin kIVWI eye* Pnnimlnl by
l"tiK Mm k ltt*hn«
"Yea, MlrrlHl) ili>lhnli> turtrnl, I
nrniwi) know how to Iwetn "
Tltwt ««< a <1 <it Inu w lit. |i
tit pi silt Ttt> Itrr nan pnmplnu up hi*
emit age. or. rather, bunting for 11 way
to Mate hi* cam* that would l«- Ion*!
offewatip finally. \*Hh * last ahem,
ho ni-wl on
"\t<« atv nnun . I wippi*, that inn
few ilny* mir loom meet* the Stattw Is
I<»nm In a lltial try for HIP season*
ciampton*hl|v"
"I lltll "
"Vo« ma\ Ih> nlm aware Ihnl ihoro
is uni' milii on whom depend* our sue
> can or failure "
"Who I* litis A lax?"
"IVrhaps ?on hs\o board of Mil**
Stanford."
"t mil acquainted wlih htm "
"I nm ttlrawil Ihnl you admit tlto
acquaintance. It In it step forward
Km we iMI pM OH Mr. Sliiufotil
Is uttering from a inrhltil malady
will'lt renders him unfit for putting
forth lit* Itest efforts on the gridiron.
Though the game is near nl hand, I
can't pot Mm to |mmito# ivitii anj
Spirit Ho gel* tho signal* mixed,
ijoosn't remember anything ho In told,
.mil ofloii when ho might scire tho bull
and onrrj it untackled to goal In*
st ii nils on tho Hold In tt tiny dream
When 1 shout to Itiin ho mart* as If
suddenly twakrnnl"
"Ami limy 1 n>l.." said tho girl. open
ing wide her !»• uitlful eyes, "what nil
tills hits to do with mo?"
Captnin Tucker, having led up to tho
subject in question, Itplnc now faoo to
face with It.was abashed Tho girl
would not iii«l him.
1 "He's doutl in love with you. ami
you aro standing him off. Why tho
! dickens can't you give him a nop till
aftor tho game? Thon 1 don't caro
what you do with him."
Miss Storm rem trolled a desire to
laugh. Tho affair between tho petite
Miss Storm ami tho gigantic Mr. Stan
ford was being watt-hod by tho nunior
I
OiTI HIM IIK limn.
ous friends of l>oth with intoroat and
amusement And just before tho bit;
game wan to come off. as bad luck
would have It. Stanford had taken it
into his head to propose to her and she
had east hiiu into a slough of despond
ency by refusing him.
"Mr. Tucker." she said gravely, "are
you aware of tho breach you are mak
ing of
"till, 112 t heaven's sake, don't pity
nr. I'm ut t in that game at all. Just
now I'm absorbed iu winning this
match hi tween «ur team and the Stan
wigs. If you don't help us or stop
standing in our way. whichever you
choose to call it.the Jig's up. We can't
beat them with Stanford in his pres
ent condition, and if you'll only go i
soft ou him for three days tho cham
pionship will be ours."
Tho girl stood looking nt him with
in expression that neither ho nor any
one else could read. The expression on
his own face was one of infinite vex a
tlon.
"Mr. Tucker," she said nt last, "you
overrate my Influence with Mr. Stan
ford. I should lie happy to aid you if
It wore In my power, but unfortunate j
ly Mr. Stanford is his own master."
This was said with such icy severit;
that Tucker did not fool warranted in
pursuing the subject further. "1 re t
grot." lie said, "to have felt it Hive
Wiry to tr—-pa s noon your private af
fairs and tint vci will i onsider • v
Interest Id the coming match, as well I
as the good of the wholteam, an « \ •
onso and foreivo me."
"You a"'* forgiven." said Miss Swrm.
putting out her hand.
Tucker grasped it thankfully and in !
his gratitude for being forgiven |
squeezed It so hard in his brawny Pst
that he called forth a cry and was I
obliged to ask to be forgiven again. |
Then he went awav feeling that be
had failed in his mission and th -
championship was as good as lost. l
During the next few days the can- !
tain nourished a faint hope that after j
till Miss Stcrm would relent and he i
would notice in the practice same* a I
I'hnnge for the better in Stanford
But the great hula of a man trrmherefl
over the field like a ship in the rollers j
without a breeze.
There was notliiug to do but play 1
the game and take the consequeuces. i
The captain and all the team expected
that their enemies would have a walk
over. But what could they do? Stan
ford would not only fall to be the
tower of strength to them he should
be, but was liable to be a positive In-
Jury. Every man of the team went on
tho gridiron with despair written in
his face. The Stauwlgs, on the con
trary. had got wind of the fact ttiat
something was wrong with their op-1
l>i>tieiii's and were bmue#! with Iwmn
! 1 tift i fii«i » .'n «> «*«i llml itnilni the
flf«( |>*|f ll'. I' M I tltll'll ■ lIM III! 11l
NM*P« trtiit ii tii«it », nhilv the dtiin
■ <H>« |<himl Mlrt iHwn thet had i*rt
plnyed liefote Titi kft |w4 lufittt lh»
K<W npcne-I (tad *W"tn like a lumper
at (tinnfnwl w«IHS term* nf mi* >f' lifU
wnln*|i(, hoping •« tench hi* |u tile
I It Itntl "llllptf n'ttitttltuM bin Itll'K
I !♦•'»» «n Ik" mm* »till|. tmtly to pre
! vent hi* itinklitir anr blunder*
I The «i» nti | half Wit* IIIn til In I.PBln.
with il I . «l In fit I'll nf III# Hliinttlu*,
» lli'lt « •<!(.» rilf) IHt'M III": 111 it % <»!• c
III'It I till Ii I til Hit
"A at the prni'il Klnml want* tn
' «» ynti. Stanford."
I Turning, Ttkker saw RMnfnnl walk
imi
| "CWM I tit i U loft !" Rlmulitl the eß|»
i Inltt nf the Manwig*. "Tlmii'i nllnl '
j '•«;«» nn' ilittiiiliMi'tl Tinker
KlaHfnrd |ilm fi ilitl, Willi In i| by III*
m|ititlit Tinker wiw hint no In the
em till Hiitttil itinl mi drawing iii'iir It
In- w is beckoned tn by Ml** (Monti
"< irenl beaten*'' muiiet-ed Tucker
"i °nn It lie tlnit she's lining In wl hint
W
llt> *nw Ml ■* Sinriii smile mt ST■■ II
ford, whi-pcr mtiwlhlnt In hint, glte
hint her lilt ml mill send hint it way
1 In- lilh nun 1.1 inr running \> it h tin*
lightness of a gir..elle mi In thi' field.
Tinker |nt« id Ihe wmd among hi*
Initltl lll.it sumo! htllg lintl happened,
nml I tn* v Mm*! up Willi II supreme con
-0 loll'-o. every IIIH U 111 rnllillllnlt In till
i hla lii,
S range it IK how under certain cir
cumstance* *\ Itiil is lint kllitw 11 be-
COttles kHOW II II Wllft |ll'<lltullly llllt
live uiiuu.c* lifiwi'i it tin' rt- rntlon of
Mittlliirii s sit.amtMts ami the iH'gluuliig
of Hie s.M outl half, yet II was known
every where < n ilio oval ilint a change
hint filiif our Hit* .' millions pertain
ing lo Ihi' |!Hii i'. 11l llif Ural |ilai t\ a
la lto litlinlicr til Ms Sturm'* 1 fiends
slttiti; almul InT mitv Stanford ap
proach her, list mi lo lior whispered
Wortl* it ml receive Iho pressure nf her
little hantl. The} Kin, tun, a sudden
HI si nf Joy swoop over lit* face. Then
they follow oil him with their e.ves a*
ho Uitiiiihil toward the renter of lite
gridiron. The news wait disseminated
hy II hnntlrtHl voices, which in tnru
tohl it to a hundred more, utul an on
till It wast otntnon property that a
pro.it advanlace had tome to the
Parkintons What l In. I advantage was
only the Inner circle knew. I'ark in Inn
rooters yelled themselves hoarse; Slim
v.ig rooters' voire* seemed to have been
I smothered.
I "What is it. Stanford?" Tucker ask
|cd just before the ball was putin play.
"If this mime Is won." replied the
Hercules, "1 "ui In paradise: if It is lost
I'm in the other place."
"Then It's won, by thunder!"
From the reopening of the game
Stanford, who had during the tirst
half attracted attention because of the
uselessness of a man who might be
Inliuitely useful, converged the eyes of
nil present. Scarcely had the gaum
recommenced when he got possession
of the ball, and, warding off a tackle
on liis right with his free arm uttd
| launching his ponderous body on an
other tackle, he got beyond the eu
etuy's line and, like a mountain sud
denly equipped with wings, Hew lo
goal.
Again, when two wedges were rain
! ntiug each other. Stanford by what
seemed the effort of a Titan forced
his way through the mass before hint
and with a few contortions ridding
■ himself of the dingers made a side
run and another touchdown
The yell that weut up from the root
| ers of both sides was like a dozen
thunderstorms.
And so the game went on. In lntlf
an hour the score, which had been 0 to
0 for the Stanwlgs, stood 12 to 0 for
the Parkintons. Stanford, who con
sidered the game won. permitted his
mind to drift upon the blessedness in
store for him. One of the enemy, tak
ing advantage of his inertness, pusstd
the ball to another, who passed it to a
third, and this man took it to goal.
"Wake up!" yelled the Parklnton
rooters.
Stanford did wnke up and. since
there were but eight minutes left,
made the best use of them. As if to
atone for her negligence, he swung
himself about, his enemies going down
before him like pygmies. Final!,v.
when time was called the game stood
14 to 10 iu favor of the Parkintous.
Hercules, Instead of bearing the
world on his shoulders, was borne on
the shoulders of the world. Stanford
\vtl3 turrUd. o(T the field by his com
rades amid the confusion of a break
ing in on the gridiron by u multitude
of spectators.
Captain Tucker considered what
could with propriety tie done to show
Miss Storm the appreciation nf him
self and his team for having saved the
game. He had met with an icy recep
tion on trespassing 011 her private nf
fairs and had no mind to trespass
again. He called a meeting of the
team and asked for suggestions The
result tif the deliberations was that
the same evening Miss Storm received
a box Inlaid with mother of pe:irl eett !
talnlng ten pounds of candy Nothitr.
to mark the donor accompanied it. but
Miss Siortii knew very well that It was
the gift of the winning team
It Often Is.
"I was in hopes when I married that
1 could give my wife everything she
wanted."
"Well?"
"I didn't thiuk her yearning capac
ity would be so much greater than my
earning capacity."—Washington Her
ald
Gives Him No Chance.
"Were you quarreling with your,
srite when I came In? 1 heard yon I
talking loud."
"No. When we're quarreling she's
the one that talks."—Cleveland Lead
er.
Orlef Is crowned with consolation.—
Shakespeare.
Spoiled It For Him.
Mr. Clarke's butler had asked for a !
night off. for the purpose, as he ex- |
plained, of attending a ball lu the vll- j
lage. The next day Mr. Clarke asked j
him how he had enjoyed himself.
"Oh, pretty good, sir. thank you," |
was the response. "It would have been :
better if It hadn't n-been for the worn- j
en. I can't abide women at a ball."— i
New York Tress
A SHREWD GIRL.
Sh« Proved SH® Knew When
fowrr Wni first Ptaccd.
n> tuNow TREWABT CATON,
' fO»| Vftftit. tvt* lit Amfflt-en I'teee AMI
ft*lt.in |
| Titer* I* n point on the t 1 >nni**-t(rtil
1 i-n**t r*tent|inK Into l.nna twin net
*oiinil called Burhrm'n llwil !!»«• n*m«
■ probably listing I teen dirttnd from
' *ntite connection nn Indian > hlef fut
tnerly hud with Ike place 'the elwire
I* divided li.'tnecii nicks slid Ix'acbaa,
Imi kcil by part low and purl high or
rather mlllim Btmiud iMi the east
side of the bead, not fur from the
l*ilnt. In tl i- year l"«*i atood the
ImUse of 11 fanner. John <'rotnnell.
title autumn tin> rrotnwell was sit
tit II nil III* |aih'll Kttinkllic Ills plpo
' «i|i n he ill*, nvered nut on the sound
1 bout l.iiiiu row id town 111 the shore.
Today 111 it legion I* full nf boats of
all kind*, but then I hey were n rarity.
1 The farmer Hatched lite ours alter
nately 111 appear and Ita-li In the Mm
light till the Unit entered the little
'•me l>»fore Itl* house ami rim lis nose
up on the beach Then n iiiau Jump
ed out. pullet! it farther up mid ad
Mini ed toward Cromw ell,
The stranger was young anil cotnely,
hut rather ltigularly «ln •! Ills
l»i»t was big and pointed In the crown,
his coat was short and (taring below,
hi* breei lies 111111 hi* shoes were orna
mented with large silver bttiklea, his
hose were 11 dm k red. while hi* waist
was encircled by a wiile bolt clasped
with ti whlcr buckle than either of
the other two, and In II were several
pistols of an eighteenth century pat
tern. In short, his appearance smack
ed of piracy.
"Have I struck Sachem's Head?"
asked the young man.
"That's what they call It," replied
the farmer.
The young man looked nlsiut hini as
if trying to get his bearings. Present
ly lie spoke again:
"You wouldn't mind letting tue slay
with you awhile, would ynu? 1 enn
| pay for my keep."
"Where did you come from?"
"I took French leave of a ship that
passed this way last night. Since then
t I've been hunting for Sachem's Head.
I'm mighty hungry Can't you give uie
something to eat? And 1 dou't like
these clothes. I.et me have one of your
own suits."
The stranger thrust his hand down
j into his breast pocket and pulled out a
1 handful of Spanish pieces of eight.
The farmer cast an eager glance at the
gold, went Into the house, told his wife
and daughter that a stranger needed a
I meal, then went upstairs to find hint
some clothes. When the young man
1 had b«eu fed and reclothed the farmer
gave htm a pipe, and they sat together
ou the porch for a smoke. Cromwell,
| being a Yankee, followed the procliv
ity of his race and began to question
the stranger.
' "Guess you've got a name, haven't
you?"
| "Edward Keut"
"Did you ship from the old coun
try?"
"I did originally."
"And not In the vessel vott deserted?"
"No."
"liver been here U-forc?"
"No."
"Then why did you try to find the
place?"
"Oh. I've heard about It."
Cromwell kept up the pumping proc
ess for some time, but. not making
any headway, finally gave It up. Kent
agreed to pay a good price for board
and gave several of the pieces of eight
for the enstoff suit nf clothes he wore,
so no objection w*as raised to his re
maining.
The day after his arrival Kuth
Cromwell, the farmer's daughter, look
ing out of a window, saw the stranger
standing on the narrow strip of beach
Jn front of the house, lie held a hit
of paper In his hand, which lie would
alternately consult anil look at certain
objects near by. The title was out,
exposing a considerable area of ntud.
and about a hundred yards from the
beach a rock shaped like a sugar loaf
was left completely bare. The stranger
went down on the sand till he came to
the mud, stopped, turned, sighted some
object on the grounds lit the rear of
the house, turned again for another
look at the rock. then, facing about,
walked to a pine tree that stood alone-
Arrived at the pine, he again con
suited the paper. He then cut a small
branch, which he whittled tn a point,
then walked with even paces to a
place where he stopped and. turning,
net out at a right uttgle to a rock
partly bidden by a clump of bushes.
Then, faciug the house, he walked to
a point midway between the rock ho
had left and the house and. stooping,
forced the stick he had cut into the
ground. Iluth noticed that when ho
walked he appeared to count his steps.
The girl's curiosity was excited.
She was a reticent young woman and
kept what she had seen not only front
her father and mother, but refrained 1
from asking Kent, as most girls would
have done, what was the meaning of
his strango walks. She preferred rath
er to wait and watch.
Front the moment sho had seen the
handsome stranger itt his singular but
becoming costume she had been great
ly attracted to hint. Oiris living
where they seldom meet n man are
liable to fall easily in love, aud Ed- ,
ward Kent In education and refine- j
went was far above any man Bhe had
ever met. It was not long before tho !
young man conceived as strong a pref- 1
ereneo for her as she had concrived j
for him. The two rowed about some- j
times In the boat he had cooio in; but, i
being a heavy uhlp's boat, they used it
only in windy weather, at other times |
taking a common rowboat.
It was on these trips that Edward
made love to Ruth and she acknowl
edged her own love for him. Hut he
told her that their marriage depended |
upon 11 certain contingency. He said '
he had a scheme for making a large
amount of money. If he succeeded
there was no reason why they should
not be married at any time; if not,
there would be a life of poverty for
them together and it might be better
tUjll tIIOV slmnltl oonamlA
tn llih Unlit lt«f#fv d •■«•»■
ncnl, iHnniti *lt"tt ( itmfil t k#d Iwi
If aft* <tii| nni think ll Ititpt«d« til fw
tliMn In trnifry with nothing In ftwrry
fin eft# IMmtPl Mill «|ii> WW* tin
fnlkw. Inking In ►ci-rflNlm Hint t«»
»»ld tn but, mnintnlnins uMiio r *• tn
hi'f opinions
It «s« Hot bum nfter Hi# ultmitrt •
utriMll Hint tin offered the fnfm#f lh»
renmltiliiit pieci* nf eight If h# would
iwrmtl Mm tn build n ln( hot mi bin
|in nilse* Mr suld there ni-ri* ti'ii"f ,j i
In I In* house at tiifflit tliHt |ifn» ented
lil* *lw>|t|tig I rxmwi'll crlttilljr trim*
III* rotuwnl, mii| Krnl rtv*" n k|<->1 In
the renr nf tin- butt** nnd iimf tin
<*nioklt Was Where he liml
(•lit In tin- Mick Having i'i di> nil Rr
mnirciiiculs, hi- r>t tlow i mlior In ihe
fnri «l Milled tn hi* i>ni 9 nnil liul't
III* en bin \\ hen hi' I til liiil-liiit It
mid put m rot iiiml it > Imlr In It nil thr
furniture hi< in iili'il. lii> said In l look
tint ' romwell family liiln It to lii*|mi t
It, thi"ti locked Ihi' door, mul ulii" nf
llii'tn wm nfirr had n peep Inside of
It till nftcr ho had abandoned It.
Heveral weeks passed when ntir day
Ki'iit tulil Ituili t'rntnwpll that he bad
IBM Willi II great disappointment ll#
111 ID r\ plained till' mystery t lint hud
hung about 111 tn she c hi* tirrlrnl ut
Sin hem * Head "I iiiii n younger son
<>f n country aenllctnuu In England,"
In- sulil. "A }•'•»'" "Bo I milli'il frutn
l.oiiilon In New York to take n posl
11>>11 with n merchant Ihirc. 'in the
' voyage, when off I.ong Island. our
i ship wit captured liy pirates ami ev
ery on«» except myself wus forced to
walk the |ilullk I pretended lo u do
s I i'i" to follow n life of piracy and
liPt;;i(l to In* |ii■ r111i11»•<I to Join the
crpw. Ah the •ii|itii l ii was very lg
norn ii i of navigation und I had made
ii voynjiis for the pur|*o*i> of studying
It my offer wh accepted l spent,
month* with Hip pirates while they In
iprrpptod Spanish shitis currying uion
py between Mexico ami Spain and
, afterward while tbey pillaged the coast
east und south of New York
"One of the crew, a better man than
ihe rent, look ii funcv tn me and when
i he was wounded after u light with an
armed mer< hantman aml at the point
of death lold tne that he and no me
' comrades bad burlnd a large quantity
of gold and precious stones they had
I plundered at Sachem's Head, on the
' I'onneclicul coast, lie gave me this
I paper, on which are directions where
' lo tind the treasure." He read:
! " 'Snclicm's Head. Third beach east
j of point of rocks. Cove contains rock
like sugar loaf 100 yards from beach
! at low tide. Apex just awash at high
j lide. Seventy paces west to pine tree
i standing alone. Kroui pine fifty jjaces
i towurd Island to N. E. Turn at right
angle, thirty paces to rock covered by
i brush. Face house, go twenty paces
i duo east. I»lg six feet."
| "A few days before I reached here
the pirate ship sailed into the sound
past Block island, went westward lock
j ing for ships to capture ns far as Xew
llaven, but, hearing of a war vessel,
went back. While passing here at
night I let myself down into a boat,
I cut loose and rowed ashore. 1 knew I
wus near the place I wanted, but did
j not know how near. You know the
' rest, except the denouement.
"I built my cabin over the spot where
I expected to tind the treasure, then
1 dug down, tilling the cabin with the
earth I took out. I was doomed to din
appointment. I found no treasure. If
1 we marry we shall tie doomed to a life
of poverty."
"I love you so well thnt I prefer a
life of poverty with you to living with
out you," said Ituth.
' In that case I yield."
"Come with me."
She led him to the smokehouse, un
locked the door, opened It, and they
entered. In a corner was a sailor's
locker. Until opened It.and It was full
of gold pieces and jewels. Edward
looked at her In atnaEemenl.
"I saw your maneuvers," she said,
"and suspected your object. I tun
neled from the smokehouse and
reached the treasure ahead of you.
Since our marriage depended on it. I
preferred that it should be mine."
Mrs. Kent always spoke of the for
tune us "my property."
Where He Made Hie Money,
Years ago a gentleman settled in the
south of England anil became very
popular in the neighborhood. The
county families could never discover
how he hud mude his money, but
wire satisfied by his solemn assurance
that it was not in trade. Nothing
could exceed the ordinary gravity of
his demeanor, which indeed caused
him to lie placed ou the commission
of peace, but how and then, without
any apparent provocation, he would
burst Into such a laugh as no one ever
heard before except in one place.
Where they could have heard it puz
zled the county families for live and
twenty years, I"" ''t last lie was be
trayed unconsciously by Ills own
grandchild, who, after a visit to a trav
eling circus, innocently exclaimed,
"Why. grandpa laughs just like the
clown!"— James I'ayn.
Her Conclusion.
"I've got my opinion of a woman
that can't cook." growled William De
Kikkur, glaring at his better fcilf.
"I suppose that if our cook would get
married I'd starve to death!"
"You needn't worry about that, Wil
liam," said Mrs. He K. gently. "Our
cook has been married once, and I
don't consider it at all likely tliat she
would care to"—
But her irate spouse had slammed
the door behind him.—Cleveland Lead
er
Good Scheme.
"It's a shame." commented the I "lend
of the restauraut proprietor.
"Whofs a shame'/" asked ihe r#e
taurant proprietor
"Why. thai you have to give that
pretty waitress ail the lough steaks
for the patrons at her tables."
"Oh. I pay tier extra for that. You
see. she Is so pretty not one man
would kick If the steaks were so tough
tbey pulled his teeth out." -Chlcago
News
Different Now.
"nefore we were married," sighed
the fond wife, "you used to call me
up by long distance telephone just, as
you used to say. to hear my voice."
"Well," retorted the rebellious hus
band. "nowadays you won't let me get
far enough from you to use the long
distance."— Loudon Telegraph.
DIPT YACHT m Mlir.
CSBfii AWeNI fiMhiS# •»»
tmsll ftelsry
According l« tlo- I»»**»*!« (•"> • a
I—IUHH-m I* on f"»rt Iti •IcritMtny f"f
flip fir<' I'iitnllon > . lb i»i • r • 112 ii
tif* «ii"ii i iii. bl WMI " ■■ I
the silver Jtlbttrr of hl< rHifti In I'M:;
The present lm|H'ri»l ys<hi II 'i«*t'
tKillertl I* Ming f#«t sMI lißifHiW
ll'»'« net |l#|o|||t lo till' kll "112 ll ll
llk l properly of th# admiralty mid I*
lent to Hip monarch In lil« iHpM'tlr
a* supreme hesd «112 the iiati ll I* an
n|if»fi »e< ret Mini 'be Its! ' r fei '« Dirt
n#i*l for hl« frequent 11 i v.iyag. i of
a more m»«l#ri» a til more |«meiful
ty|«> than the l|i»li#ti*oll#rii. «ht>h ri ■ •
Innger cots n go.lll figure l#*Mi' ih»>* i
of other inonuri tia or th" tiiaglilll -cut
vmh*»l* In wteb h AituTlcan fißtron* of
wean «|nirt cro«B to attend th" yacht
meeting* at Kiel and i'owp*
l.lh# lila sublect*. the kal-o-r feel*
th# pinch of high prl • and th" bur
d#n of lil* numerous offspring, »ln»
sr# now growing up and demanding
aettlement* of their own Coie
qitetitly 111 spite of the Increase I"
eently of about half a million dollar*
In lit* civil Hit h" imini t afford t.i btiv
a new yncf. while, on th- other hand,
the ndndrnltr, whleh wants nil lt.»
Money for wnr*lilp«. cannot spur# nny
thlng for • - anient n | craft
Murder Revealed by a Dream.
l'«-rlia|i« the moat uma/.lug crlms
mystery ever soiled by ii drtam was
(hut revealed by n murder trial a
rouple of generations a .. The deatl
body of Mr. Norway, an InotTenslvs
Cornish gentleman, had been found t>7
Ihe roadside bitw. n Wiidobrldge and
ttiHlmln, brutally murdered. No true!
of the murderer could be found, uud
the mystery of the crime seemed be-
Voml nil solullon, when Mr. Norwny's
I rot her, a naval officer, arrived in Eng
11ml uud told the following singular
; Btory:
1 On the very ulglit of his brother'*
j murder, when he was on his shtp la
j the West Indies, he saw him In a
ilream walking along the Bodmin road,
; when from a dark recess in the hedge
I two ruffians sprang out, slew and
| robbed him and then nuiile their way
! to n house in Wndebrldge he
saw vividly In his dream. .o this
house he conducted the police ollicers,
and there he found the very two men
whom in his vision he had seen com
rait the murder. They confessed and
suffered the extreme penalty of the
law. —Pearson's Weekly.
Horee Dentists.
In every lnrge city there are now
dentists who devote their entire atten
tion to horses, and they are kept sur
prisingly busy the year round. The
equine dentist is of course provided
with special Instruments for the ex
traction and filling of the teeth of ani
mals needing attention It Is rather
interesting to observe un operation In
horse dentistry. One of the instill*
meiits. called a speculum, presents the
appearance of an Ivory handle anil
four small bars of nickel working on
a ratchet and crossing one another in
such a manner as to form a hollow
square that can be made large or small
by the turning of n screw. Setting
this device to the proper size, the
horse dentist will slip It gently lnt*
the suffering animal's mouth, whleh.
during the operation. Is kept partly
open by a groom, and when the instru
ment is fitted upon, say. one of the
back teeth the beast's mouth Is kep*
open as wide as possible.—narpert
Weekly.
A Faet Express.
The slow train is still the target for
the shafts of the humorist Itecently
mi English wag sent the following let
ter t■) the editor of his local papers
"Sir. Is there no way to put a stop to
begging along the line of the railway?
'For Instance, yesterday un aged men
| dicant with a wooden leg kept pace
with the afternoon express all the way
from Blankton to Spuceley and an
noyed the passengers exceedingly, go
ing from one open window to another
I with his Importuueute solicitations."
Prince Henry, the Navigator.
The kingdom of Portugal counted In
its royal house one of the men who
hold first rank in scientific attain-
I uient nnd practical application. He
j was the sou of John I. of Portugal*
i and Queen Philippa (w ho was an Eng
lish princess*; he spent his life In
sending out ships on voyages of dis
covery, and it was through this Prince
Henry, called "the Navigator," that
Columbus got his Idea of seeking for
a new land across the sea.
Our Friendships.
Our friendships hurry to short and
jioor conclusions because we have
made them a texture of wine and
dreams instead of the tough fiber of
the human heart. The laws of friend
ship are great, austere nnd eternal— of
one web with the laws of morals and
of nature.— Goethe.
Death Former Forgery Sentenc,
As recently as 183" forgery was i.•
Jshable by death in England.
!ill SEW!
.A. Flollatoio
TIN SHOP
for all kind of Tin Roofing
Spouting nnd Conoral
Job Work.
Stoves, Hoators, ftan«»c„
Fumaooi, oto-
PRICES 188 LOWEST!
QGILITY TBB BEST '
• .-si
JOHN HIXSON
SO. 11* E. FHONT ST.