The Payne Tariff Bill Reviewed! What the Measure Provides for Briefly \ Stated Peculiarity of the Reciprocity Idea as It Is Embodied In the Proposed j L AW Tl lc Federal Tax on Inheritances By JAMES A. EDGER.TOM. N the whole, the \J Payne tariff bill §jk A is a revision fff , \ downward. There VPS are heavy cuts on rifj) iron and steel, lum ■jPfr"*''? Vy ber, wood pulp and --.J print paper, hidej, ml,. J coal, various chem- Mk icals and a smaller "1 cut cn sugar. There * s reciprocal free trade with the Phil ippines, though tho MEHII.NO K. PA> NR. AMOUNT of sugar and tobacco which may be imported from the islands free is limited. There are increases on certain items called luxu ries, including a tax of 8 or 9 cents a pound on tea, but there is no tax o;i ooffce. An increase is made in the in ternal tax on cigarettes. A federal tax on inheritances is provided, as recom mended by President Taft. The apparent reductions of schedules ■nay be much modified cn the actual workings of the law. The chief source of these modifications is in the maxi mum and minimum tariff. The act pro vides that after sixty days a maxi mum tariff which is 20 per cent higher than the regular schedules shall go Into effect against every country that does not give us the favored nation dfause on every item, which, as things ■ow stand, would mean very nearly ev ery nation except Great Britain. Under tftis provision the tax on some articles •supposed to be free by the terms of the wew law would actually be higher than «nder the present Dingiey act. Petro for example, is free, as at pres ent; but, since Russia, the only coun try from which we can import petro leum in large quantities, taxes it, we ere thus made to tax it also. A similar effect may be produced on wood pulp «nd print paper, since Canada now taxes these products, and by the work ings of the new law we would likewise be made to tax them. Thu* the fight of American newspapers for cheaper paper will be only half won even if that section of the Payne bill goes through as it now stands. The other half of the fight will have to be won in Canada, if at all. In like ways this maximum and minimum provision may be made actually to raise the tariff on very many schedules—coffee, for ex "SALOME TWIST." Puzzling Curve Perfected by a Base ball Fitcher. Tfct* curious pitchers of ha!idol:] are not satisfied with that now ancient spit ball, us was proved by Billy Camp hell, now with the Cincinnati Nation als. who has Invented a new wrinkle sailed the "Salome twist." Campbell fcept his mouth closed about his new enrve until he went to Atlanta recent ly. Not long ago he surprised Bunn\ Pearce by flinging it over the platter Bunny sot nervous as he saw this new crumple slowly singing through tin air The ball jumped and twisted around until poor I'earce's knee* or ae keel one another. "Talk aboui your wild and woolly twists," says tli. backstopper—"this stunt of Campbell'* ba.> 'em all beaten a block." The ball appears to be coming eas, and just right for a three bagger. Whe i the batter—good. Innocent man—whirl; Ins willow through the nir to swipe tli ball across the lot the pill suddenly sets beside itself that such a mau should hit it.and in self defense it begins its cavortlons. First this way aud then that, the bulls swirls out of the batter's reach, and his batting average drops 50 per cent. This new discovery is rwtalnly a wonder All the baseball critics and «port dopers are puzzled greatly. Their hair stands on end when this ball be «ius its motions, which so much resem ble the Salome dance. Playground on Hotel Roof. The i'urks and I'laygrounds Associa tion of the City of New York has a new playground for children on the roof of the Waldorf-Astoria. George C. ISoldt, proprietor of the hotel, has placed the roof, Including the sun pal lor aud pine grove, at the disposal of the association, and Howard Brad street, secretary of the organization bas announced that the new plaj ground will be opened on March "J > High fences will be built around tin rout, and apparatus like that in use ii sther cit.v playgrounds will be installed tn charge of instructors. Mr. Boldt will place in commission an addition:! passenger elevator for the use of the children in the morning of each daj Milk at One Cent a Bottle. P«i ; » ni!IU in sterilized bottles to l sold in the public schools of Chl -ai at a cent a bottle was the prop.- ninde the other day by Mrs Ellen s Bryant, representing the Chicago V. man's club aud the Chicago permancn, ■chord extension committee, to the committee e-> school management. The plan was enthusiastically approved. If the board t. education acts favorably on the recommendation of the commit tee the first trial of the plan will be at the Hamllne school, and if the trir. meets with success the system will je extended to take In a number of ot!i«r •chools Chemical to Clear a Fog. Jud W. Hurlburt of Burghill, near ' Cleveland, 0., thinks he has discovered a chemical that will dispel fog, and if applied to water will prevent fog from rising. The combination is composed of several simple ingredients, whoso float is slight. In fact, 100 pounds will not cost more than $3 or $4. With 100 pounds an area of 000 feet radius may be cleared of fog, ho says, the fluid floating on tho surface of tho water the same as oil. The limit of area that may be cleared is dependent only upon the amount of mixture used. ample. The peculiarity of the reciproc ity idea embodied in the proposed taw is this—that, whereas other nations of fer a minimum tariff as an inducement to reciprocity arrangements, we threat en a maximum tariff as a retaliation. It is the difference between peace and war. Another peculiarity is that no discretion is left in the hands of the president. The maximum rates go au tomatically into effect against those nations that do net favor us. A third peculiarity is that partial reciprocity, or reciprocity on a few articles, is pre cluded. Foreign nations must give us the benefit on all items if they would avoid the club of our maximum tariff. Now, it is not hard to see what tho practical effect of all this will be. An the bill repeals present reciprocity pro visions, a tariff war with nearly all t!>. nations of continental Europe will prcb ably ensue, and during that war the maximum tariff, which on many sched ules is actually higher than the Dingiey act, will be in effect. A second modification of the appar ent reductions in the Payne bill will arise from the provision that in certain cases the basij of value on articles taxed by the ad valorem method shal' be the wholesale price of that article in the United States. Now, in nearly all cases the American price is much higher than the foreign price, which is the basi3 of value now employed. The effect of this ri6e in valuation will be to nullify cuts in schedules, just as a higher assessment on real or personal property may be made to nullify a re duction in rates of taxation. All tax payers are familiar with this principle. The main reason for the revision of the tariff at this time, aside from tho pressure of public opinion, is that tho present law does not produce sufficient revenue. Under the new act it is esti mated there will be an increase of near ly $50,000,000 annually in receipts. Part of this will come from the proposed tax on inheritances, but most of it from the customs. If the hopes of the meas ure as a revenue producer are disap pointed, there is a provision for the issuance of treasury certificates to re lieve the strain. It is also provided to create S4O, COO,OOO worth of Panama bonds to cover the purchase price of the canal. One of the most important sections of the act to the manufacturing states NEW ASTRAL LAW. Boston House Painter Thinks It Will Revolutionize Chronological System. Itobert J. Ilodge, a house painter of Franklin Park, Boston, has Invents! nn astral calculator based on what he claims as bis discovery of a new astral law, which he believes will revolution ize the world's chronological system. According to his theories, the season changes are not caused by the earth s revolution around the suu, but rath; v by a yearly revolution of the sun lit a a orbit apart from the earth and by a balance motion of the earth on its equatorial axis. Ilodge baa traveled across the Unit ed States, taking observations to veri fy Ills theory. Under this a calendar year would consist of exactly 3(>4 days, with each fourth month, beginning with March, consisting of exactly tliir ty-one days, the other eight months of thirty days, lie has worked out a new astral calculator lo take his observa tions. MACHINE TO DISPERSE FOGC. Frenchman Uses Hertzian Waves and Four Huge Blowpipes. M. Dlbos, a French engineer, ha* been conducting a series of experi tnents on the English channel which have given rise to the hope that New York harbor may ultimately lie kept free of fog. Attracted by the English experiments for dissipating fog by means of electrical discharges, M. L>i bos conceived the Idea of a combina tion of Hertzian waves. Beneath n powerful Hertzian plain which emits waves of 40.000 volts lie placed four huge blowpipes directed to the four points of the compass. Slmul taneously with the discharge of tl) Hertzian waves the blowpipes, each giving a temperature of 2,000 degree C.. were lighted, in from twenty t> thirty minutes a thick fog was dis pelled over n zone of 200 yards En couraged by this success, the cxper tnents will lie continued. China to Take a Census. China is about to take a census or the uncounted millions within her hol ders. The state department at Wash Ington h.-is received a copy of an lni|i> rial edict i; led In accordance with tl> program ■ i ''.institutional reform
  • within the empire. Tb returns for the census for famine* must be completed by 1010 atid for in dividuals by 1912. All Chinese llvin- In foreign lands must he enumerated Turkey Raising on an Island. The Buyers Island farm, located ir. the Susquehanna river below Sun bury, Fa., lias been rented and will be used and conducted as a farm for the raising of turkeys. The farm has ul ready been stocked with 100 turkeys Llanos of Venezuela. Venezuela received its musical name from the early Spanish residents, who saw a resemblance to Venice in the sites of the inland cities. The llanos, or bleak plains, on which the ilaneros live R precarious life, have largely changed their character since Hum boldt saw them. Then these great plains of grass supported innumerable herds of cattle, but civil war led to the destruction of the beasts to feed the Insurgents. The llanos are now rapidly becotp'ng a potential source of timber. is that which provides a drawback cf taxes paid on raw materials, which raw materials enter into the manufacture of articles for export. This will assist our home manufacturers to compete in foreign markets. In detail the changes in schedules are roughly as follows: There are slight increases in certain so called luxuries, including perfumery, toilet articles, fancy soaps, chicory and substitute;- for coffee, cocoa and cocoa butter, spices, feathers, furs, and the like. In creases are also made on coal tar dyes, zinc, peau, figs, lemons, pineapples, mercerized cotton, surface coated pa pers, lithographs and envelopes. Wocc pulp is made free when imported froir. countries that have no export duty Cheaper grades of print paper are ms tericlly reduced. A large number cf drugs and chemicals are cut, while copperas, licorice, cottonseed oil and some other articles in kind are p'accu on the free list. There is a material reduction in building materials of almost all varie ties, including lumber. Perhaps the most sweeping cut is on iron, steel and other metal products, which amounts in most cases to 50 per cent. This is ons reduction that cannot be greatly affected by the reciprocity clause. Sugar is reduced four one-hundredths of a cent per pound. Agricultural and food products are cut, some of them ' materially. Wool is left practically un -1 affected, except carpet wool and top waste, which are slightly reduced. Soft or bituminous coal is admitted free from all countries admitting American coal free. Hides are placed ' on the free list, which it a greater • proportionate reduction than that on ' shoes and other leather products. 1 Works of art over twenty years old arc free. This is the bill—the lamb led up tu tho slaughter. What the senate butch ers will do to it no man can tell. Al 1 ready the sounds of battle are heard. There is a sharpening of knives, tha cattlemen of the west are preparing U ' shoot the free hides section full of holes, and the eastern malefactors of ' great wealth are trimming a big stick with which to biff the tax on inherit ances. There is likewise a roar from the iron and steel men, but the Scotcn 1 burr of Andrew Carnegie is not heard ' in the chorus. I ! ROAD COACHES' MARATHON. 1 J. E. Widener's Novel Special For Lon don International Hors>» Show. The coaching Marathon race for a 11 gold challenge cup offered by Joseph E. Wldener of Philadelphia as a spe cial prize iu the international horse show Olympia of London is the late.-r concession to the popularity of endur -1 nnee trials of r. 11 kinds the world over Mr. Widener's special is announced i one of the features of the big London show, to be held June o to 15, covering nine days for competition. The Marathon for four-in-hand coaches is to be from Hampton COUP to the Olympia ring for judgment The coaches, which under the conrii tions are not necessarily road coache are to leave King's Arms, Hampton court, each oarrying seven persons, on the day appointed for Judging and travel by Busby park, Teddingtou ral : way bridge. Strawberry hill, Twielce:i ham. Richmond, East Sheen, Barn--; common. Hammersmith bridge, to i show ring. 1 he con. lies are to be Mar. Ed at intervals in order to be Kcrmlt love hath no man than th s-thata w „ o ~ lf a crn ,. k „ hot nnd wht> man lay down his life for his friend, wjn m t nfj , he , )hotog rapher of the es . but lam not sure. For a man of m , MaJor Kdt;ar A . MearnSt r(v Itoosevelt B type to efface himself for t|n , (l . offl Mirpi , ou nnd natu . a friend must be even a greater sacrl- rnl|st . , i, or | nK AW en, who haseollect ed animals all over the two Americas. If this was really the determining ant j Edmund Heller, the naturalist and motive In the African trip, as friends taxidermist, who has been over the of Roosevelt assert, it Is the greatest ground where the Itoosevelt hunt will thing he ever did. And for the truth take place. These three scientists will of It we have not only their word, but represent tl:c Smithsonian Institution, corroborative evidence. Indeed, there- nnd to its museum practically all tho fty BY 7ACM SROS wv BLEEPING TENT TO 1!K I Sl'.li I! KERMIT, SHOWING THE fusal to run for a third torn was a proof In itself. So was the tactful ami considerate net of letting Taft ride back to the White House alone. Not without bearing, too. Is Mr. Roosevelt's firm stand that he will not be inter viewed or allow his picture In the papers. The further fact that no news paper correspondent will be permitted to accompany him to Africa and his declared purpose that when lie visits Europe at tlie end of the African trip It will be quietly and without ostenta tion are actions in kind. Is this a new Roosevelt or only a new view of the old Roosevelt? At any rate, it Is so novel and welcome that I for one have not yet recovered from the wonder of It. Will He Come Back Alive? Professor Frederick Starr of the Chi cago university, himself an African traveler of some note, has been report ed as saying that Roosevelt will never return from the dark continent alive— not that the beasts will get him, but the fevers. Ex-Senator Thomas C. Piatt, who admits that he made Roose velt governor and vice president, says the same tiling, and, while Piatt is not an authority on Africa, he should be an expert on death—at least of the polit ical variety. On the other hand. Carl Akely, the taxidermist of the Field niu seum. who has been over practically the same ground that Roosevelt will trav erse, says the ex-president will be as safe in Africa as he would be in Oyster Ray and safer than in Chicago. Where doctors thus disagree 1 suppose the rest of us are entitled to form our on n con clusions. At any rate, I am going to form mine, and here It Is: Neither Pro fessor Starr nor Senator Piatt nor all the pessimists combined can kill off j Theodore Roosevelt In Africa. In spite ! of fevers, mosquitoes, tsetse Hies" j sleeping sickness and beasts of the jun gle, he will come forth unscathed. Has he not braved Harriman and the nnl tnals of Wall street? Has Africa any j terrors for him after that? Not any. Has he not agreed to lecture at Berlin In German, Paris In French, Oxford In | i More Effective. Father (angrily)—lf my son marries I that adventuress I shall cut him off absolutely, and you can tell him so. Legal Adviser—l know a better plan ' than that—tell the girl.—Exchange. *• A Cheerful Greeting. Augustus—Hello, old man! How nre | you and how nre your people ami all | that sort of silly rot?— London Globe, j A good conscience Is to the mind what health Is to the body.—Addison IV MR. ROOSEVELT AND ills SON : COLLAPSIBLE BATHTUB. specimens collected will be sent. It was renor ed recently that F. C. Selous. the famous African hunter, will also join the party. At Naples the members of the expe dition will take a steamer for Kllin dlni harbor. Mombasa island, which they will reach about the end of April. They will then proceed by the Uganda railway to Nairobi, which will be their base of supplies for the big hunt. Nai robi is 327 n.iles up the line from Mom basa. In this section of Africa there are two rainy seasons, one in the spring and another shorter one In the late fall. The aim of Mr. Roosevelt and his associates Is to take advantage of the six months between the two seasons. In October the expedition will goon by rail to Port Florence, on Lake Victoria Nyanza, making a journey of 584 miles by rail all told. It will then cross the Uganda by caravan, doing some bunting and exploring doubtless on the way, and then will pass down the whole length of the Nile, reaching Khartum about April, 11)10. There, according to present plans, it will be joined by Mrs. Roosevelt, who will ac company hrr husband down the river to Cairo. • Here the expedition will separate, the scientists returning at once to the United States, the Roosevelts proceed ; lng to Europe, where they will spend a year on the continent and In Eug i land. During this time Mr. Roosevelt i will deliver the Romanes lecture at | Oxford, will give an address at the I Sorbonne, In Paris, and another before j I the University of Berlin, In which city ' lie will be the guest of the kaiser. He , | will also visit the home of his ances- j , tors In Holland and there will proba | bly speak again. Each of these lee-1 J tures, as before mentioned, will be in j I the language of the country In which ; it Is delivered. Here Is the bare out line of the two years' outing as it lias been given to the press, presumably ! from inspired sources. Flesh the skel i eton with action, adventure, danger, exploration, discovery, slaughter, rougt riding, strenuDßlty—ln a word, wltl j Just Suited Him. "Miss Pansy, yo' suhtlngly has got I well developed ahins, ef yo'll pahdon j uia sayln' so." "Ah developed dem ahms workin" ovah de waslitul), Mistah Rufus." i "Um—um—er—Miss Pansy, will yo' be ma wife?"— Denver Post. The Entomologist's Boon. X*rofessor (to his aged cook)— You I have now been twenty-five years In my service, Regina. As a reward for your fidelity I have determined to name the bug I recently discovered after you Fllegendu Blatter. Theodore Roosevelt—and the result will lie some semblance of what the thiug will be In Itself. Everything Collapsible. The guide to the Roosevelt party will be the English naturalist and African \ hunter It. J. CuuiiiKharae, who haR ) been over the ground where the hunt J will take place. Mr. Selous and Cuu- I inglinme have been buying the outfit J for the expedition and shipping it to the front. Practically all of it has i been purchased in England, but our j American tentmakers can hardly ob- I joct, as they are not in the habit of outfitting African hunt parties. Be sides. this stuff will not have to pay a j tariff. It consists of the most up to | date material and will furnish Mr. ] Roosevelt the nearest thing to a travel- j ing palace that is possible under the circumstances. He will have most of the luxuries of civilization, including a ! bathtub. Everything is collapsible ex- I ccpt the guns. They make other things collapse. Po advanced has this art of compact 1 packing grown that soon one can carry j the materials for a house in his pock- j et. Roosevelt will have collapsible buckets, collapsible spades, collapsible water coolers, collapsible tiltor pumps, ! collapsible tables and chairs, a collapsl- j bio mirror, a walking stick that can be 1 expanded into a stool and even a bath tub that can be folded like the prover bial "touts of the Arabs." As for the Itoosevolt tents, they will be stowed nway in bags like those for golf sticks. The native "boys" that accompany the expedition and pack the loads will be collapsible also and will disappear swiftly and miraculously whenever danger looms In sight. Tlie color of Mr. Roosevelt's tents will be green to be In harmony with the surrounding foliage. It is some times desirable not to attract too much attention. The African animals have a highly developed artistic taste and ob ject to violent effects In the color scheme. A white tent Is an offense to their eyes, and they are liable to do things to it. The rhinoceros is espe cially sensitive In this regard and will charge through a white tent in a most rude and 111 bred fashion. Numbering elephants, prowling lions and very long snakes are also most curious about white tents. It is advisable not only to hunt African game without a brass band, but to advertise the matter Just as little as possible. This is one place whore Joseph Pulitzer's "publicity, publicity, publicity," should be sternly repressed Guns, Guns and More Guns. ] As for firearms, the Roosevelt outfit I wltt carry along an arsenal sufficient | to arm a South American revolution. It will look like carrying the war Into | Africa with a vengeance. There will j be puns enough to shoot up the whole | continent. There will be guns for big j game and guns for little game, guns j for elephants and guns ranging all the l way down to those intended for wart | hogs. Moreover, every man with the J expedition, including even the native benrers, will know how to shoot. They j will have to. Where it is a case of kill i or be killed it is up to the human aul- I tnnl to "do it first." Most oft. e hunting will be done In ! (lie region nbout Nairobi. In this sec j tlou of Africa are more animals than there are trusts ou Manhattan Island ' or lobbyists in Washington, and that is J getting well nlong toward Infinity. The tall grass Is full of them. The hunter i does not know what moment he will flush a covey of hippopotamuses, rout out a lion or scare up a grunting rhi noceros. On one hand he will run Into I a flock of elephants and on the other ( stir up an African leopard or a herd of bison, in the meantime he is liable to ! step on an;, kind of snake, from one four feet In length to a wriggling j monster seemingly as long as the fa bled sea serpent. Iti such an environ ment the hunter needs not only guns, but nerves; also, on occa.-loii, logs. A hunter who cannot do a tall stunt at running is liable to be out of the game In short order. There are times when the only thing possible is to take to the tall timber. When the armored | cruiser of the veldt, the rhinoceros, gets under full sail there is nothing to be done but run or climb. The beast is invulnerable to bullets except at two • or three spots, and unfortunately none \ of these is exposed when lie Is mak ing a head-on charge. A rhinoceros will charge anything from a locomo tive to an elephant. And anything he charges he puts out of commission. Roosevelt and Sleeping Sickness. Another tough customer is the Afri can buffalo. He is a treacherous brute, luring his pursuer Into an ambush and then charging him before he can get out of the way. A wounded elephant is also a difficult proposition. He is hard to kill and fights to the last, his trumpetings calling up other elephants to Join the chase. As for the lion, while exceedingly dangerous by night, he Is not so formidable to hunt by day as several of the beasts already men tioned. The Roosevelt hunt looks rather ter rifying and hair raising at this tils tance. When the chief actor in it. however, reads the numerous predic tions that he will never come out allvt he only stn!'es In an amused way and goes on with his packing. The greatest danger to life in Africa is from what is known as the sleeping sickness, and from his sizzling activity during the past seven years it Is the last disease that will ever attack Theo dore Roosevelt. Harbinger of Baseball. The pitcher now begs to announce He has a brand new curve, On which no batter chap can pounce And make It fenceward swerve. It has a kind of corkscrew turn That must preclude a swipe From which announcement we raa, \ learn The season's almost ripe. —lndiana noils Nrwi The Coyote to the Rescue For the first time in all history, It Is believed, the coyote who serenades the moon to a distraction of welrdness has a defender. The fruit growers of the northwest find the jack rabbit a mul tiplying enemy. His for the bark of young fruit ' trees concerns them greatly. They reflect that the hunted and all but exterminated coy ote is the only thing on earth that can and does run down a Jtck rabbit, and so they propose laws ordering man's bands to no longer be raised against iha coyote. In Mot Water. "Typographical errors," said a wrlt» er, "are continually cropping up. C called for a magazine editor the other day to take him out to luncheon. A* he was getting gratefully into his coat a man entered. " 'llo you read your magazine?' the man asked. " 'I do," replied the editor. " 'Have you read the new number, the one that came out yesterday?" " 'I have.' " 'Have you read my poem, "To Ga briellc," on page 117''' " 'N-no.' " 'No! Well, in that poem I wrot<» the line, "I love you better than I love .my life.'" "'A neat line—neat and well turned," said the edlior soothingly. " 'And one of the professional humor ists of j our composing room set it up to read. "I love you better than I love my wife.'" " 'How—er'— 'Than my wife—precisely that. And | ray wife knows nothing of composing | room comedy, and she thinks tlie line ; was printed exactly as I wrote it.' " * China's Four Religions. \ China has four state established re -1 llglons, and in each the emperor exer cises sacerdotal functions. Twice a , year the emperor as "son of heaven" worships before the tablet of Shang Ti or supreme heaven in accordance with | the anciert Imperial monotheism. Twice a year he burns incense before the tablets of bis ancestors l:i accord ance with Confucianism. Twice a j year he sacrifices to the gods of Tao ism and twice a year to the image of i Ruddha. The ancient and primitive I religion of China is mon< 'leistic. but j this direct worship was re carded as j too sublime for the people, so that It | became reserved for the emperor alone j as the "son of heaven" and an priest jof the nation. The people on their ! part worshiped their ancestors, and it i was this ancestral religion which Con- I fucius Identified himself with and re j formed. The old superstitions rejected | by Confucius were absorbed by Tao- S ism, which Is polytheistic and the re | llglon of the populace. Then Bud ! dhlsm came into China about 05 A. D. | and, like the other three religions, be [ came state supported nnd state en -1 dowed. } A Sporting Parson. j The inhibition of a hunting rector by his Vlshop reminds a correspondent j that the Rev. Jack Russell, the fn ! mous west country sporting parson. ! was once cited to appear before the bishop of Exeter to answer charges of ' neglecting his spiritual and parochial duties, and be was also remonstrated with for keeping and following a pack ;of hounds. The charges were proved | unfounded, find Russell refused to give up the sport, which he continued to pursue almost to the day of his I death In 188". at the age of eighty eight. Resides being an Insatiable hunter, he was, as his biographer pithily remarks, "a stanch supporter of Devonshire wrestlers, a:: admirable ! sparrer and an enthusiast! • t'p'ioldei; jT»f the virtues of Devonshire t ' .'nnd cream." And in the pulpit he tried to | reform conduct rather than to ex . pound doctrine and was a stern dc nouncer of bad language, strong drink and"the filthy tin Wit of smok ing."—S:. James' Gazette. Sarcasm In the Commons. The reluctance of the house . 112 com mons to adjourn over Derby day re calls a story related of one of the Ro man Catholic peers who took their seats some four or five years before the passage of the iirst reform bill aft er an exclusion of a century and a half. He gave notice that on a certain day he would make a certain motion, ; whereupon there arose from his noble colleagues a general cry of "Derby!" The astonished novice named another I day, only to be greeted with an equal ly unanimous expostulation of "Oak.;!" i At this lie explained that he would have to ask the forgiveness of their j lordships; but. having been educated j abroad, he was forced to acknowledge that he was not familiar with the list of saints' days In the Anglican calen dar His Glasses. He came home in the small hou.s ; of the morulng, and his loving spouse j confronted him with wrath In her eye 1 and a telegram In her hand, saying, 1 "Here Is news that has been waiting. I for you since supper lime." | He blinkrd. looked wise and. braced op against the hatrack, felt through I his pockets, murmuring, "1 left my glasses down town." "Yes." she replied, with scathing irony, "but you brought the contents | with you." Not Grasping. ; "What a grasping fellow you are. [ Hawkins! You've bothered me about this bill fifty times in ten days." ! "You wrong me, Jarley. I'm not ! grasping. I've bothered you about the bill, I admit, but I haven't been able to grasp anything yet." A great man Is made up of qualltl 1 * i that meei n. tr.ek? wiwit occasions.— sou IET J A Rellfitol® TIN SHOP Tor all kind of Tin Roofing, Spoutlne ind Ceneral Jolt Work. Btoyea, Heaters, Nan«ea t Furnaces. «to. PRICES THE LOWEST! QL'ILITT TDE BEST.' I JOHN HIXSOJV NO. u» E. FRONT HT,