ROCKEFELLER'S
REMINISCENCES.
Multimillionaire Tells of Notable
Events In His Career.
DEFENDS THE STANDARD OIL
Corporations Here to Stay, Says Oil
King, and Should Be Created and
Regulated Under Federal Laws—Pre
dicts Great Future For Rising Gen
eration.
John D. Rockefeller appears for the
first time as a writer in a series of ar
ticles on "Some Random Reminiscences
of Men and Events," the first of which
recently appeared in the October issue
of the World's Work.
Mr. Rockefeller says at the outset
that on a rainy morning, when golf Is
wanting, "I am tempted to become a
garrulous old man nnd tell some sto
ries of men and things which have
happened in an active life." lie refers
to the extent to which he has been
associated with interesting people, es
pecially in the business world, and con
tinues:
"If one talks about one's experience,
there is a natural temptation to charge
one with traveling the easy road to
egotism; if one keeps silent, the infer
ence of wrongdoing is sometimes even
more difficult to meei, as li would then
tie said that there is no valid defense
to be offered.
"It lias not l>ecn my custom to press
my affairs forward into public gaze,
but i have ■■ me to see that if my fam
ily and fr< s want some record of
things which might shed light on mat
ters that have been somewhat dls
cussed it is right that 1 should yield to
their advice and in this informal wny
go over again some of the events
which have made life interesting to
me.
"If a tenth of the things that have
been said are true, then dozens of able
and faithful men who have been aso
ciated with me. many of whom have
passed away, must have been guilty of
grave faults. For myself I had de
cided to say nothing, hoping that after
my death the truth would gradually
cotne to the surface and posterity
would do strict Justice, but while I live
and can testify to certain things it
seems fair that I should refer to some
points which I hope will help to set
forth several much discussed happen
ings In a new light. I am convinced
that they have not been fully under
stood.
"It has been said that I forced the
men who became tuy partners In the
oil business to Join with me. I would
not have been so shortsighted. If it
were true that I followed such tactics
I ask would it have been possible to
make of such men llfeJong compan
ions? For fourteen years I have been
out of business and In eight or ten
years have only once gone to the com
pany's office "
Mr. Rockefeller speaks of the devcl- i
opment of the Standard Oil company
and says that the plan of selling direct j
to the consumer and the exceptionally
rapid growth of the busine ; "1.re.l .1 !
certain antagonism which. I oppose. j
could not have been avoided." Of 'V
dire t selling to the consumer 1 • ■. .
"Tills was done in a fair spirit • '
with due consideration for every one's
rights. We did not ruthlessly gi :
the trade of our competitors and at i
tempt to ruin it by cutting prices or j
Instituting a spy system. If any of fie '
employees of the company we; • over j
7.0 a! <in going after sales the acted !
in violation of the expressed and ]
known wishes of the company.'
Mr. Rockefeller says that in l!i> ,-ly j
days the oil Industry was con<!erel a j
most hazardous undertaking, not a .:o
gettier unlike speculative mining un
dertakings. "None of us," he says, J
"ever dreamed of the magnitude of |
what proved to be the later expau- I
slon." Further on he says:
"Another thing to be remembered j
about the so called 'octopus' Is that
there has been no 'water' Introduced
into the capital (perhaps we felt that
oil and water would not have mixed),
nor In all these years has any one had
to wait for money which the Standard i
owed. It Is a common thing to hear
people sny that this company has
crushed out Its competitors. Only the
Uninformed could make such an asser
tion. It has nnd always has had and
always will have hundreds of active
competitors. The Standard has not
now and never did have a roynl road
to supremacy, nor is its success due to
any one man, but to the multitude of
able men who are working together."
Ou the subject of the modern corpo
ration the article says:
"Beyond question there is a suspi
cion of corporations. There may be
reason for such suspicion very often,
for a corporation may be moral or Jm
moral, just as a man may be mural or
the reverse, but It Is folly to condemn
all corporations because some are bad
or even to be unduly suspicious of a ;
because some are bad. But the corpo
ration In form and character has < oiue
to stay. That is a thing that may be
depended upon. It is too late to argue
about advantages of industrial combi
nations. They are a necessity. And if
Americans are to have the privilege of
extending their business In nil the
states of the Union and Into foreign
countries .as well they are a necessity
on a large scale and require the agency
of more than one corporation.
"If I were to suggest any legislation
regarding industrial combinations It
J would be, first, federal legislation un
der which corporations may be created
and regulated, if thnt be possible; sec
ond, In lieu thereof state legislation as
nearly uniform as possible encourag
ing combinations of persons and capi
tal for the purpose of carrying on in
dustries, but sufficient to prevent
frauds upon the public.
"The great business interests will, 1
hope, so comport themselves that for
eign capital will consider It a desirable
thing to hold shares In American com
panies. It Is for Americans to see that
foreign Investors are well and honestly
treated, so that they will never regret
purchases of our securities. I may
speak thug frankly because I am an
Investor in many American enter-
prises, out a controller or none, wim
one exception and that a company
which has not been much of a .divi
dend payer, and I, like all the rest, am
dependent npon the honest and capable
administration of the industries. I
firmly and sincerely believe that they
will be so milnnged."
Tinder the heading "The Modern Cor
poration" Mr. Rockefeller Rives the
views he expressed before the indus
trial commission in 1899, when he sug
gested federal Incorporation and con
trol and in lieu of that state legislation
as nearly uniform as possible. "I still
feel," he now says, "as I did in 1899.
"I am far from believing that this
(corporation regulation) will adversely
affect the individual," says Mr. Rocke
feller, dwelling on"The New Opportu
nities." "The great economic era we
are entering will give splendid oppor
tunity to the young man or the future.
* * * I am naturally an optimist,
and when it comes to a statement of
what our people will accomplish in the
future I am unable to express myself
with sufficient enthusiasm."
After commending the wealthy men
who do not retire from business either
through pride in seeing the further de
velopment of their plans or through a
| sense of duty to their associates Rocke
feller concludes the first chapter of
| his autobiography with a paragraph
' that hints of his activity as "a beg
| gar."
' "Some men of business," lie says,
j "are so absorbed in their business af
fairs that they hardly have time to
! think <>f anything else. If they do not
interest themselves in a work outside
of their own office ami undertake to
raise money they begin with an apol
ogy, as i? they are ashamed of them
| selves. 'I am no beggar,' I have heard
many of them say, to which I conld
only reply, 'I am sorry you feel that
way about it.' 1 have been this sort of
beggar all my life, and the experi
ences that 1 have had were so interest
ins and important to me that I will
venture to speak of them later."
Other subjects to lie taken lip in the
course of the autobiography will in
clude the trust idea in philanthropy.
Able to Hear It.
Joseph Medill of the Chicago Tribune
was somewhat deaf, although his abil
ity at times to hear what was said in
an ordinary tone of voice was frequent
ily remarked. It is related of him that
| he dropped into the business depart-
I ment of the office one day to make an
: inquiry about something that had oc-
I curred to him, ami a young man who
had been in his employ only a few
months undertook In a loud tone of
>oiee to enlighten him.
"What did you say?" asked Mr. Me
dill, putting his hand to his ear.
The young man repeated the, ques
tion In a still louder voice.
"I can't hear you," said the editor.
"Oh, chase yourself around the block,
you old granny!" muttered the Impa
tieut employee Just above ills breath.
"I am not an old granny," said Mr.
Medill, turning away, "and I shall not
chase myself around the block."
The fresh young man made Imme
diate arrangements to say goodby to
his job. but the great editor probably
: thought that the lesson he had re
■ ccived was sufficient and did not dis
turb him.
A Famous London Tavern.
The Mermaid was the name of a fa-1
mous London tavern frequented by |
noted literary men and actors during
the reign of Queen Elizabeth. All the \
wit and talent of the time assembled
there for convivial enjoyment. Au- >
thors have made it the scene of great
mind combats between such men as
Shakespeare, Hen Johnson, Beaumont,
Fletcher, Selden, Carew, Donne and !
others of reverential memory. It was
the gathering place of the celebrated [
Mermaid club, the origin of which Is
ascribed to Sir Walter Raleigh. The
Mermaid tavern was located In Bread
street and was handily reached from
three thoroughfares, so that It has
been often referred to In various ways.
The Mermaid in Bread street, the Mer- ]
maid in Friday street and the Mermaid
in Cheap street were, however, all one
and the same. It was the nearest to
Bread streel. The Mermaid was de
stroyed in the great London tire. There
were other Mermaid taverns, one in I
Cheapslde and another In Cornhill, but
they had no such associations as clung
to that of Bread street.
Origin cf the Word "Bogus."
The word "bogus" is said by Dr. Ogii- i
vie to be derived from Boghese, the
name of a notorious American swindler
who about the year 1835 flooded the
western and southwestern states with
counterfeit bills, sham mortgages, etc. ;
Others connect the word with "bogy," a
scarecrow or goblin, and so applied to
anything fictitious or chimerical.
Lowell in the "Biglow Papers" says: j
"I more than suspect the word to be a i
corruption of the French bogasse." j
This bogasse was the sugar cane as
delivered in its dry, crushed state from
the mill, also called can trash and fit
only for burning, being synonymous j
with useless rubbish.
Again, according to Brewer, there is i
in French argot or thieves' slang a \
word "bogue." which signifies the rind
of a green chestnut or the case of a
watch, and this also brings us to the
Idea of an outward seeming without
any solid or reputable foundation.—
Kansas City Journal.
——
Ths Queerest Salad.
A gourmet as he mixed a salad of j
chicory said: "The world's queerest j
salad, and possibly its most delicious |
one, Is eaten by tlie Inolts •<( northwest \
Greenland. It is a salad of undigested \
moss from the stomach of a fresli j
killed reindeer, a bitter, sharp, stlin- i
ulating salad, as good for the diges- )
tlon as an electrical massage. The !
luolts live almost exclusively on fish; i
hence salads are a favorite disii with j
them. But no salad in their minds
compares with that which they wrest ;
from the slaughtered reindeer. They |
say this salad is crlsper, tenderer and j
more appetizing than any other, and j
they say it wards off Indigestion. They
fight for It, they spend their last penny j
on it, quite as the Indians do with ■
firewater."—Exchange.
Crushed.
Stonebroke— Do you think your fa
ther would object to my marrying
you? Heiress—l don't know. If he's !
anything iike me he would.
In putting up leather belting be sure
to place the hair side next to the pul
ley. It not only clings to the pulley
better, but will wear much longer.
THE "DOCTOR."
, An Important Functionary on Mer
, chant Vessels Is the Cook.
[ Ttiere Is one functionary on tner
• chant vessels of all kinds who has
very much more to do with the "peace
and dignity" of the floating common
. wealth than shore folks usually imag
ine. 1 refer to the cook, who is some
times called the "doctor." Why he is
given this cognomen Is not altogether
, plain, for his handiwork seldom has
I any therapeutic value and In the past,
at least, has bad much to do with
i sending poor sailormen to a doctor, if
not to Davy Jones' locker. In fact,
there was a time in nautical history
when the presiding genius of the gal
i ley was In such bad repute that to
call a man a "son of a sea cook" was
a most opprobrious epithet and one
that would be emphatically resented.
' In those days (and to some extent to
' day) the cook was covertly despised
' | by the occupants both of the forecastle
j and the cabin, though the men "for
-1 rurd" outwardly professed affection
' ! for lilm and apparently were never so
j happy as when they could wash his
clothes or do him various other favors,
with the hope of getting sundry "leav
in's" from the cabin table or being
granted such privileges as "hanging
out" iu the galley when rough weather
at night made the watch on deck
grateful for such shelter. In other
ways it was found highly salutary to
keep in good graces of his culinary
majesty, who frequently was a more
] powerful person in some respects than
) the "old man" himself. It is almost
needless to add that the more skilled
I as a cook the cook was the more pro
! found was Ills influence both fore and
aft. But he wasn't often much In the
j way of skill, all the same.—Shipping
| Illustrated.
BOUGHT OFF THE BURGLAR.
! An Old Banker's Bargain With His
Unwelcome Visitor,
j "William Winslow Sherman, the old
j banker, had the coolest nerve of any
| man I know," said a man who knew
! him. "Some years ago, when Sher
| man was an old man and partially
1 crippled by reason of a fall from a
liorse, lie entered his bedroom late at
night to find a masked burglar ran
sacking It.
"The thief had a big gun trained on
Sherman in a minute. The banker
just waved it aside with a tired hand.
! 'Put that away,' he said Irritably.
'Let us discuss this matter like gen
tlemen.' The burglar was so sur
prised he laughed. 'Now, you could
hurt me If yon wanted to and might
get away with some little knick
knacks,' said Sherman. 'But you
might be caught, and there's a slight
probability that you could dispose of
my toilet articles profitably. What
' would you consider a fair cash propo
! sition togo away?' They talked It
I over In all peace.
"The burglar thought he ought to
j have $lO, but Sherman, after Inquiring
into the man's habits, said $S was
I enough. 'You see,* he said, 'you're a
j known thief. If this were your first
I offense, I'd pay your price, but now
the police have your picture you
I ought to be glad to accept any fair
j compromise and ruu no risk."
I "The burglar finally agreed to take
SS. Sherman pulled out a ten dollar
bill. 'Give me $2 change,' said he.
j And he got It before he paid."—Kansas
I Cltv Star.
Too Cheap.
The class at klrlc had been reading
| the story of Joseph and his brethren,
i and It came to the turn of the visiting
minister to examine the boys.
The replies to all of his questions had
been quick, intelligent and correct,
i such as:
"What great crime did these sons of
Jacob commit?"
"They sold their brother Joseph."
i "Quite correct. And for how much?"
"Twenty pieces of silver."
"And what added to the cruelty and
wickedness of these bad brothers?"
A pause.
"What made their treachery even
more detestable and heinous?"
Then a bright little fellow stretched
out an eager hand.
"Well, my man?"
"Please, sir, they selt him ower
cheap."
Very Nearly Trouble.
"Iloraee, you don't love me as you
used to."
"Not altogether, my dear. When we
were first married I loved you for your
beauty. Now I love you for your real
worth, your many excellencies of mind
and heart nnd for your"—
"So, Horace Fliggsworthy! You think
I've got entirely over my good looks,
i do you? Let me tell you, sir"—
"And for your unfailing sweetness cf
: disposition, my dear."
Uncertain whether togo ahead and
i scold him just the same or to indulge
i In a good cry, she compromised by
doing neither and fell to darning his
socks with renewed energy.
A Conundrum.
Little Flora Mamma, you ain't a j
girl, are you? Mamma—Certainly not,
my dear. I'm a woman. Little Flora—
j But you were a little girl, weren't you?
| Mamma—Oh, yes, years ago. Little
Flora—Well, where Is the little girl
j now that you used to be? —Chicago
i News.
Steam.
"Can you tell me what steam is?"
I asked the examiner.
"Why, sure, sir," replied Patrick
| confidently. "Steam Is—why— er—lt's
wather thot's gone crazy wid the
heat."—Everybody's.
One may dominate moral sufferings
only by labor. Study saves from dis
couragement.—D'Abrantes.
Matrimony.
Youngiy—Did you ever notice that
; the matrimonial process Is like that of
i making a call? You goto adore, you
ring a belle and you give your name
ton maid. Cyn! -us Yes, and then
! you're taken in. Bos><>n Transcript.
The Extremes.
Lobster ar.d champagne for supper
that's liigli jinks. Sawdust and tiear
cofTee for breakfast-that's hygiene.
Between these two eminences, how
ever. there's room for some genuine
living.—Life.
STAGE SCENERY.
Modern Settings Tax the Ingenuity of
the Builders.
The big scenic artists do little actual
painting beyond making the model,
unless they have a panoramic effect.
That they do themselves, standing on
the paint bridge, many feet ftom the
floor, while the canvas is raised or
lowered. The panoramic effects are
hard to handle. One difficulty is to
avoid fluttering when a draft sweeps
across the stage. Mountains that
tremble hazily are not conducive to
illusion.
With the elaborate productions of
late years the importance of the build
er of scenery has Increased, says Ev
erybody's Magazine. Formerly, when
the scenery consisted merely of can
vas stretched over a wooden frame, it
was simple enough. But the struggle
for realism and sensational effects has
developed difficult problems for the
[ builder of stage scenery to solve.
Every piece of scenery must be made
so that It can bo folded Into strips five
feet nine inches wide, because the
doors of the baggage cars in which it
is transported are only six feet In
breadth. Also every piece must be
light and so constructed that one
scene can be removed and another
putin place within ten minutes. It
may take thirty hours of continuous
work to get the scenery "set up," to
use a technical expression, after it is
brought into the theater. After that
the work of changing a scene is com
paratively easy.
A DOGS' CLUB.
London's Luxurious Resort For Aristo
cratic Canine Pets.
London la the only city in the world
boasting a dogs' club. The club is in a
pleasant suit of rooms near the Troca
dero and close to Regent street. Hand
some rugs cover the floors, the win
dows are veiled in lace and silk, and
luxurious sofas are ranged against the
walls, while a profusion of soft pil
lows are scattered about for the com
fort of aristocratic dogs who prefer
the floor for a nap. Dainty satin lined
wicker baskets are provided for the
smaller pets. The membership fee is
half a sovereign, but this does not in
clude meals, baths or tips to the at
tendants.
Ladles going shopping or to the thea
ter leave their pugs and poodles at the
club and give the attendant In charge
at the time a few shillings for looking
after It, hut If the dog Is fed half a
crown is charged. This pays for a mut
ton chop and milk. A whole crown
provides the little animal with minced
chicken. For a half sovereign Fido is
bathed, brushed and perfumed, and if
he is a French poodle his hair Is care
fully curled. A veterinary is attached
to the club to see that only dogs in
perfect health are admitted, all sick
members being quarantined in a sepa
rate room, Blankets, boots, collars,
harness, soaps and brushes and all the
accessories of a fashionable dog's toi
let as well as dog medicines are sold at
the club.—New York I'ress.
DESOLATION ISLAND.
Kerguelen Land Is a Region of Per
petual Storms.
Of all places on earth outside the
arctic and antarctic regions Kerguelen
I.and, in the Indian ocean, is the most
Isolated and inhospitable. Indeed, it
Is generally known to mariners not by
its official title, but as Desolation is
land.
Most nations have owned It by turns,
but it has been sooner or later aban
doned by them all as worthless, and
this although it covers an area vari
ously estimated at from 1,500 to 2,000
square miles. At present France Is In
nominal possession of It, she having
annexed It In 1893.
The soil Is utterly barren. Practi
cally the whole of the interior is cov
ered with snow fields of unknown
depth, whence glaciers flow down to
the sea. Where there are no snow
fields there are morasses and bidden,
treacherous mud holes.
The climate is probably the worst in
the world. Terrific tempests follow one
another practically without ceasing
and are accompanied by torrents of ice
cold rain, bail, sleet and snow. The
Challenger expedition spent a month
there, during which time there were
only three fine days. And this was in
December-January, when It Is mid
summer in those latitudes.
Its discoverer, M. Kerguelen Trema
rec, although at first he professed to be
enraptured with It, lived to confess
that it was unfit for human habitation.
"Not even Eskimos," be exclaimed
"could exist there."— Pearson's.
Casualties Expected.
During one of Speaker Cannon's bit
ter political fights in Ills district in Illi
nois the opposition resorted to desper
ate tactics. Among other things friends
of t'nele .loe were summarily dismiss
ed from positions they held in the pub
lic service. Some of his friends be
came alarmed at this, and one of them
called on the speaker at his residence
and said, somewhat excitedly:
"Joe, Smith and Jones have just lost
their positions in the postoffice. What
are we going to do about it?"
Uncle Joe took another puff at his
cigar ami then answered, with a benev
olent smile: "Nothing. If you go Into
battle, you have got to expect to have
soma dead and wounded."
Describing the Climate.
"Is your climate changeable?" asked
the stranger.
"Not very," answered Farmer Corn
tossel. "It keeps shiftln' around a
little till it strikes a kind of weather
nobody likes; then it sticks."—Wash
Ington Star.
Just Like Her.
Hewitt I didn't know that you lived
on the first floor. I understood your
wife to say that you lived on the sec
ond floor. Jewett—lf you knew my
wife you would know that she always
stretches a story.—Exchange.
They Married.
Trotter (who has been abroad) So
Maud and Charlie finally married?
Miss Homer—Yes. Trotter—l suppose
they are happy. Miss Homer Un
doubtedly: they each married some
sne else.—Chicago News.
The better 'positions a man boasts
ho could have if he wanted them
never seem to materialize when he Is
out of work—Atchison Globe.
ARCTIC TEMPERATURES.
Zero Weathar Is Regarded as Mild and
Agreeable.
According to eminent arctic explor
ers, physical sensations are relative,
and the mere enumeration of so many
degrees of heat or cold gives no idea
of their effect upon the system.
One explorer states that he should
have frozen at home in England in a
temperature that he found very com
fortable Indeed In I.apiand, with ids
solid diet of meat and butter and his
garments of reindeer.
The following is a correct scale of
the physical effects of cold, calculated
for the latitude of 65 to 70 degrees
north:
Fifteen degrees above zero—unpleas
antly warm.
Zero—mild and agreeable.
Ten degrees below zero—pleasantly
fresh and bracing.
Twenty degrees below zero—sharp,
but not severely cold. One must keep
one's fingers and toes in motion and
rub one's nose occasionally.
Thirty degrees below zero—very cold.
Particular care must be taken of the
nose and extremities. Plenty of the
fattest food must be eaten.
Forty degrees below zero—lntensely
cold. One must keep awake at all haz
ards, inutile up to the eyes and test the
circulation frequently, that it may not
stop somewhere before one knows it.
Fifty degrees below zero —a struggle
for life.—Chicago Record-Herald.
PETTING A HORSE.
If You Want to Please Him Rub Him !
Between the Ears.
"Not many people know how to pet I
a horse, from the horse's standpoint,
at any rate," said a trainer. "Every
nice looking horse comes in for a good !
deal of petting. Ilitch a fine horse
close to the curb and you'll find that i
half the men, women and children
who go by will stop for a minute, say
'Nice horsy' and give him an affec- j
tionate pat or two.
"The trouble is they don't pat him
in the right place. If you want to
make a horse think he is going j
straight to heaven hitched to a New '
York cab or delivery wagon, rub his '
eyelids. Next to that form of endear- |
ment a horse likes to be rubbed right !
up between the ears. In petting j
horses most people slight those nerve |
centers. They stroke the horse's nose, j
While a well behaved horse will ac- !
cept the nasal caress complacently, he
would much prefer that nice, soothing
touch applied to the eyelids. Once j
In awhile a person conies along who {
really does know how to pet a horse.
Nine times out of ten that man was
brought up in the country among j
horses and learned when a boy their
peculiar ways."—New York Globe.
Von Bulow and Sarasate.
In one of his letters Yon Bulow re
fers to Sarasate as follows: "He has
enchanted me beyond measure, par- j
tlcularly In his concert of yesterday,
when he played a splendid work,
'Symphonic Espaguole,' by Lalo ■
played in so genuinely artistic a man
ner that today I am still intoxicated j
with it. IHs playing also of the Saint- |
Saens concert piece for violin is as en- 1
trancing as interesting. It is a shame
that lie cannot come to see me. N. I!.
I have purposely avoided his person
al acquaintance. Perhaps he has tried
to see me, for over my door stands the
notice:
"Mornings— not to be seen.
Afternoons—not at home.
"But perhaps he did not ring the
bell. tile never plays under 1,000 |
francs—he received this sum here at a i
private musicale.) For secretary lie
has Otto Goldschmidt, who sent me u j
pass, which I returned with there- j
mark that for such an important con
cert I could certainly afford to buy my !
ticket. Six marks was in no way too
much to pay."
Bulow did make his acquaintance,
however, as he refers in a later letter
to Sarasate coining, quite unexpected- j
ly, to u "conference with Johannes" 1
(Brahms), at which he himself was
present.
He Preferred Mules.
One of the pet hobbles of Senator \
Christopher Magee was his newspaper, j
the Pittsburg Times. He kept the pa- !
per well to the front, and It was a !
credit to modern Journalism. One j
morning the Times had been scooped ;
on a railway wreck.
"Senator," asked an intimate ac- |
qualntance, "how do you console your- j
self on the loss of that wreck story j
this morning?"
"By congratulating ourselves," he an
swered qnickly, "that we are among
the number who missed that ill fated
train."
On another occasion as the senator
was approaching the Times building
on Fourth avenue he noticed a crowd
gathered about a wagon which was '
filled with huge rolls of newspaper. A
wheel was caught in a deep rut in the j
pavement and could not be budged.
"Senator," laughed a friend, "they j
managed at last to get your paper into
a rut."
"Yes." answered Mr. Magee, his eyes
twinkling with good humor, "and I'm
not trusting to men to get it out again,
but to mules."—Philadelphia Press.
Vanity of Men.
In a woman's club, over tea aud
cigarettes, a group of ladies cited
many, many instances of the foolish
vanity of males.
"Take the case of bees," one said.
"Because the queen bee rules the hivs, j
because she is the absolute mistress
of millions of subjects, man up to a
few hundred years ago denied her sex.
He called her the king bee.
"Pliny wrote somewhere, 'The king
bee is the only male, all the rest being
females.' And Moses Husden, beekeep
er to Charles 11., stoutly denied, in or- I
der to please his royal master, that the j
large bee, the ruler of the lilves. tie- ]
longed to the gentler sex.
"Even Shakespeare couldn't bear to j
think that the bee of bees, the largest j
and wisest and fairest, the hive's ab
solute lord, was a female. No, all the
proofs notwithstanding, Shakespeare
called her a male. Don't you remem
ber the lines—
"Creatures that by a rule In nature teach
The act of order to a peopled kingdom.
They have a king and officers of sorts."
--New Orleans Times-Democrat.
I could hardly feel much confidence
In a man who had never been Imposed
upon.—Hare.
WO VEGETABLE INTELLIGENCE
Bureau of Plant Industry Pathologist
Does Not Celievo Plants See.
The bureau of plant industry of the
department of agriculture at Wash
ington has been follow!!!;; ivocly th»
accounts of the recent alleged disco
ery of "vegetable Intelligence" by
Francis Darwin and Professor Harold
Wager. .
The bureau, of course, is not con
ducting investigations of so ali-ur.se
a character as those reported of Un-
English scientists. Yet Albert I*.
Woods, pathologist physiologist
pf the bureau, said the other day tlia;
there is undoubtedly a certain amount
of truth In the theories put forward In
England.
"But the use of the terminology of
animal life in reference to the sensi
tiveness of plants will lead, I fear, to
considerable confusion," said Mr
Woods. "It Is a well known fact that
tfce cells of certain plants are sensi
tive to light—far more sensitive, in
fact, than the protoplasms of animals
are. But it is quite im|Wjliable that
any plant forms a visual reproduction
of any object in the way that the ani
mal eye does.
"With plants it is a question of sen
sitive reaction, and it is a mistake to
confound this reaction in any way
with the Instinct of animals or the
reason of higher raws. Certain plants
'move toward' the light or away from
It or tend to grow in the general direc
tion of water or away fit>m moisture,
j But this 'moving' shows only a sensi-
I tlve reaction to the 'conditions of
■ growth' around it. The plant has
! nothing corresponding to the mind
| that In any way directs its groping."
When asked If the logical conclusion
of the Darwin-Wager theories would
1 he the organization of a society for
the prevention of cruelty to plants,
Mr. Woods lauzbed
SUBMARINE WARSHIP.
Holland Says It Will Be Able to Cros9
the Atlantic.
John P. Holland of East Orange,
N. J., inventor of the submarine boat,
, has devised a deep sea submarine
which, he says, will be able to cross
1 the Atlantic and revolutionize modern
| warfare. He says the new invention
! has been sold to a foreign government,
j whose name he declines to make pub
j 11c.
"The new bout will have a speed of
; 30 knots an hour," said Mr. Holland
recently. "It will be manned by a
1 crew of five and will be so construct
j ed us to lift the submarine from the
plane of a coast and harbor defender
to an Instrument of aggressive war
fare. I offered the plans to the United
States navy department, but received
no encouragement, so had to sell them
abroad. The navy department dis
counts the Inventions of Americans
and places a premium upon devices
tried by other powers."
The new boat will be cigar shaped
! and can be sunk to a depth of 'JOrt
feet. It will be strengthened tore
: slst pressure under water and will dls
j charge a torpedo at twice the speed
iof the present torpedo. The vessel.
according to the Inventor, can acco-n
--! pany a battleship on any voyage, no
matti'r what the length.
A Candid Critic.
I "A criticism that has helped me a
great deal in my work came from a
man to whom I took a picture to lie
framed," said a young woman who
spends much of her time copying in the
Metropolitan Museum of Art. "As the
picture progressed my friends told me
I It was fine. Some of the other copyists
| said It had value, character, good color
ing and all those things, and even one
I of the guards in the gallery got real
I friendly one day and remarked that it
was the best copy of that picture he
' had seen. 1 began to think that maybe,
after all, my several years of study
: were beginning to bear fruit. At the
framer's I picked out a nice frame, and
' the fratner began to figure on the cost.
| " 'l'll tell you, miss,' ho said, 'that
I frame will come to $,1.05. if I were
, you I'd get something cheaper for that
i picture.' New York Sun.
"Setting the River on Tire."
In old English times, when each
| family was obliged to sift its own flour,
I It sometimes happened that an ener
| getlc man would turn his sieve so rap
| Idly as to cause It to catch fire. The
! style of sieve used In those days was
I called a "temse," and it became a cus
| tomary saying that a lazy man would
j never set the temse on fire. Now, it
i happens that the name of the river
j Thames Is pronounced like the name
j of this old flour sieve, and after many
{ years, when the old fashioned temse
| was forgotten, It was thought that set
' ting the temse on fire meant setting
J the river on fire, and that is why t«-
| day we say that a stupid person will
! never set tho river on fire.
Esperan'.o.
i "When I first started out hunting
apartments 1 went through ti long, po
! Lite dissertation," said the woman with
j a haunted look and weary feet. "Now
; 1 go in anij say to the elevator man
; or janitor: 'Apartments?' 'Booms?'
1 'Price?' 'Keep 'em.' I get along just
j as well, and it saves lots of time. Try
it."—New York Times
Examining Wedding Gifts.
"Women viewing another woman's
I wedding presents say things which
i are likely to be misinterpreted." said
! tho bachelor who declares he hates
I weddings, but always goes when In-
I vited, according to the Washington
Post, "and other things which no fa
vorable interpretation would make
: complimentary to the bride or to the
givers. It's the way of the sex, I sup
-1 pose. Now, why is It that the most
common remark of the women who
are inspecting tho layout of silver and
cnt glass aud other gifts more or less
useful Is, 'What a lot of presents she
j got?" They don't mean anything un
kind. but the inference an uninitiated
! eavesdropper would draw is that they
! wonder why she got so many, as if by
; rights she shouldn't have had half so
I many. Of course they vary the re
| mark, 'What a lucky girl!' says one,
j as if she would like to add, 'Some per
; sons have too much luck.' And nn
| other says, 'I wonder where they all
| came from,' Implying almost as If the
; bride couldn't have enough friends to
j make so many gifts aud must have
seut some of them to herself just to
making a showing."
THE OPSONIC TEST.
What It Showed the Man Who Smoked
a Great Deal.
His friends knew that lie would rath
er miss half an hour of a play than
cut short his after dinner cigar, ant i
they were astonished when ho an
nounced that he had quit smoking.
"What's the trouble?" he was asked.
"Opsonic test," he replied gloomily.
"What in the world Is that?"
"I've been run down of late and feel-
Ins pretty blue. As there Is consump
tion In my family, I consulted n spe
cialist. lie said 1 didn't have the dis
ease yet, but he would tell me what
my chances were of getting it. Wo
nre constantly breathing tuberculosis
germs, he explained, but healthy blood
has the power to destroy them. So ho
took a drop of my blood and inocu
lated It with a certain number of
germs. In half an hour he examined
it under the microscope and found that
only half as many germs had been
killed as should have been the case.
Normal, healthy blood Is said to have
an opsonic test of 100, so my test was
only 50. lie advised me to build up
my strength by sanitary living—lots of
fresh air day and night, plenty of
sleep, wholesome food and moderation
in work and pleasure."
"Where does smoking come in?"
"He said that tobacco had an ex
traordinary eO'ect in decreasing the
power of the blood to destroy germs.
Some men who smoke a great deal
have an opsonic test of zero—that Is,
their blood has no effect whatever on
germs. I am fond of my cigar, but
when a specialist levels an opsonic
test all cocked and primed at your
head and says, 'Tobacco or your life,*
what are you going to do but throw up
your hands?"— New York Tribune
Queer Old Book Titles.
These are some of the odd titles of
old English books published in the
time of Cromwell:
"A. Most Delectable Sweet Perfumed
Nosegay I"or God's Saints to Smell
At."
"Ulscuit T!akcd In the Oven of Char
ity, carefully conserved for the Chick
ens of the Church, the Sparrows of
the Spirit and the Sweet Swallows of
Salvation."
"A Sigh of Sorrow For the Sinners
of Zion breathed out of a Hole In tho
Wall of an Earthly Vessel kn u
Among Men by the name of Samuel
Fish."
"Eggs of Charity I.ayed For t'ia
Chickens of the Covenant and Boiled
with the Water of Divine Love. Take
ye out and Eat."
"The Spiritual Mustard Pot to mak».
the Soul Sneeze with Devotion."
The Sailor's Prayer Book.
"This Is what you call the sailor'*
prayer book," a seaman said bitterly
as be kicked a holystone out of the
way. "Why is It called that? Well.
In the first place, it Is called that be
cause In using it, In holystoning the
deck, the sailor has to kneel down,
and. In the second place, because all
holystoning Is done on Sunday. Don't
you know the chantey—
"Six days shalt thou work and do alt that
thou art able
And on the seventh holystone the decks
and scrape the cable.
"The stone Is called holystone be
cause the first holystones were bits of
tombs stolen from cemeteries. It's
got a pious, religious sound—holy and
prayer book and Sunday and all tlmt—
but it Is when he is using this stono
that the seaman is most profane."—
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
World's Cleanest Soldiers.
The Japanese soldier considers it a
disgrace to be dirty. Soldiers of other
nationalities are not always overpar
ticular, but, as Mr. Kipling has sung:
Oh, east is east, and west is west, and
never the twain shall meet.
However, the Japanese military man
Is not provided by a grateful and be
neficent government with a portable
bath, so when on active service he has
to set his wits to work in order to ob.
tain the necessary adjuncts to his ab
lutions.
The Chinese, for reasons of their
own, manufacture long and large jars,
whose diameter Is that of a western
main drain. It occurred to a bright
Japanese that one might just as well
have a bath standing up as lying
down.
Accordingly he and his comrades In
terred a jar. built a furnace beneath
it and filled It with water. Soon a
boiling hot bath bubbled before them.
Imitators sprang Into being and sub
sequently Into similar baths.—Bystand
er.
In a Nutshell.
"Big talker." declared the Indian
who had been listening to a local can
didate. "Heap scrap."
"And what If he Is not elected?"
"Scrap heap."—Kansas City Journal.
All In His Head.
Instructor—Mr. Smith, kindly nams
the bones of the skull. Student Smith
Well, sir, I've got thetn all iti my
head, but I can't think of their names
Just now.—Bohemian.
No one loves the man whom he fears.
—Aristotle.
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