Six Sailors:
By JANE LUDLUM LEE. |
Copyrighted, ISKW, by C. H. Sutcllffe. T
"I hope you fellows know that I atn
Irlng this launch by the hour, $lO for
ich hour, and as she has already
een here for thirty minutes we have
asted $5. Come along."
"We're coming. Jack, coming. You
re a regular old Sliylock to ask a
jan up here as your guest on a little
low out and then throw the cost of it
n his teeth. The rest of us have been
•>ja«ly for some time, but Leigh can't
ear himself away from the ladles and
?ou would make this a stag."
"Very weiL then let Leigh stay with
ae girls, for Fm not «oing to have
hein alHjard. Thoy would all be sea
lck or giggling. Here comes I>eigh
ow.
Just at that moment three big fel
i>ws appeared In the doorway of the
iouse carrying another being who
eemed to be all legs and arms, which
■ere flying in all directions. At the
>p of their voices, and each man on
. different key, they were shouting
'How can I bear to leave thee?" Car
rying their burden down to the land
ng, they deposited Leigh and all
olned hands and started an Indian
.var dance around him while passers
slowed up to see six strapping fel
ows, clad only In their bathing suits,
oing a wild dance around their vlc
ira. Jack broke the spell by yelling.
"That parade won't wait, boys, for
tny one except Roosevelt, and he
SHE BHEATHED A HEAVY STOH, AND LF.lah
COULD HEAII IT.
«loes not happen to be one of our par
ty, so all aboard and some one sit on
Leigh until we are well under way."
Leigh's tenor voice squawked "Good
lipy, ladles," but he was immediately
lumped on by about two pounds of hu
manity, and he quieted down.
"Now, skipper, for Oyster Bay in
the best time you can make it," said
Jack.
The Aphrodite puffed and kicked foj
i momeut, tbeu started out, and soon
Belleview was only a speck In the dis
.ance. it was a rainy, misty morning.
iut the boys did not mind. Jack and
Alice had a dear old house at Belle
view and had filled It over Sunday
vlth their best friends. Jack had hired
his launch to take the boys for a sail,
ind Alice had agreed to stay at home
ind give the girls a dove luncheon.
"Leigh," said Jack, "if you don't
.vatch out the next dance you do will
be to the tune of the wedding march
Better go easy."
"Jack, old man, your hand on it
ou, being a married man. must know
he symptoms, and I don't mind say
ag that ever since last summer at the
tke I've had an uneasy feeling in my
leart, but up at your house I'm just
naklng myself useful amusing the la
•lies."
Bryan Macgregor, the basso of the
>arty, saw fit to interrupt the boys
aere and, taking ids old meerschaum
pipe out of his mouth, drawled:
"I say, fellows, you two lietter quit,
'fs too early In the morning to get
witting on facts, and it's a mean thing
:o do ut any time of day. Jack, you
give an imitation of a gentleman and
don't talk back, and. Leigh, for love ol
Mike, shut up that howl. Grantlns
.hat your bonny lies over the ocean,
i do not blame her for staying there
•112 she ever heard that voice of yours."
Finally the six men seated them
ieives in comfortablo positions, and
■matches of songs, bits of stories, much
auditor ami aeneral anori fellnwnhin
irevanea. Jjelgh again had the lloot
I the midst of a story about six nail
rs who were shipwrecked and hud ne
ood.
"No food!" he reiterated. "No food
- Just the same as we are, fellows- n<
food."
Jack took the hint, and soon baskets
(.nine forth licavily laden with de
Melons food that the girls had packed
for them. They sat down and began
o eat like the proverbial hungry sail
>rs, and l,eigh was commenting on
.vomen In the capacity of cooks when
queer gurgling sound was heard,
hen another. The Aphrodite was evl
icntly in trouble.
"Maybe she's hungry, skipper. Give
•ier some gawoline or a bit of oil."
The Aphrodite, as if In answer to the
-nggestlnn, began spitting oil over the
loor of the boat
"Evidently not Hungry - in fact, full
0 overflowing," commented Leigh
The Aphrodite suddenly stopped and
II efforts on the part of the skipper
nd the six men were futile. They
rffted and drifted until it became a
■rloos problem. What was to be done
nd who was to do It? By this time
10 launch had drifted Into a cove
boot a mile from land, and after much
lscusaiou Leigh volunteered to swim
» the land and get help. The others,
flowing he was n famous swimmer,
gre*Hl to the plan, and without much
eiay he was overboard and with long,
.efldy strokes was covering the <Mb
*nce. When he finally reached the
•lore he rested awhile, and then starts
1 to walk towards a handsome reei-
I dence at the top of the cliff.
Suddenly from Uw bushes uear him
came a clear soprano voice. Leigh
stopped and listened and looked. Itot
far from where he stood there waa a
little rustic summer house, and leaning
| against the sldo of It was a young girl
j dressed all In white. He crept a little
nearer to make quite sure that he wm
not dreaming, so near that, as the git!
stopped singing, she breathed a heavy
sigh, and Ijelgh could hear it II"
longed for a sight of her face and won
dered If It were half as sweet as the
voice fee had heard, and he made brave
to creep a little nearer. The rustle of
the bushes made her turn, and seeing
him she cried:
"Leigh—Mr. Richards! Is It really
you?"
"It Is really Leigh Richards, Miss Ap
plet 011, and I apologize for startling
i you so, but I was climbing up the cliff
j and heard your voice, so stopped to lis
! ten. I am on an errand of mercy and
j perhaps you can help me out"
"An errand of mercy, In a bathing
suit! Why, I do not quite understand.
! Where Is the rest of your party?"
Leigh soon explained to her the
plight of the boys, and finished by
saying, "Your father dislikes me so
that 1 expect If he knows who's in
the party he'll never let = one of his
men togo to our help. Wel he?"
I "Father has gone over -to see the
naval parade in Judge Cowan's boat,
and our men are on the grounds doing
nothing. One of them can take our
little launch out and tow yours In."
"That's asking almost too much, but
; if you could direct me to some other
place."
"Don't say that to me after what
you did last year. Do you think I
have forgotten how you saved my life
when I was drowning In that treacher
ous lake? Why did you go away with
out ever giving me a chance to thank
i you?"
"Miss Appletou Edith 1 didn't
know you wanted to have me stay,
any. anyway, your father had no use
for me. He was right enough, too, at
the time, but I'm a steady old ship
now, dearest. If you will only under
-1 take to guide me."
"I didn't know—l thought you didn't
care," she murmured.
"Didn't care—why, darling, that day
\ that I held your listless form in my
i arms was the happiest moment in my
whole life. I looked at your white
face and knew just how much you
; were to me. I couldn't tell you so
then, dear, so I went away until I
j could. Will you have me now, Edith?"
"Leigh, dear, I've been waiting for
you a whole long year, twelve whole
months, and each month seemed a
| year. I, too, have been yours ever
I since that day you held me In your
arms. How much longer must we
wait?"
"Just long enough for me to get rid
of the boys and find some clothes."
1 "Lot's goto the boys together, Leigh,
and tell tliem, for, you see, If the old
launch had not broken down, I would
j have been waiting yet."
A MODEST REQUEST.
Colonel Bill Sterrct and the Privilege
He Craved.
When Colonel Hill Sterret iirst went
to Washington to report the news of
i the eapitol for his Texas papers, he
j had desk room in (he office of General
n. V. Boynton, then the militant cor
j respondent of the Cincinnati Commer
j clal.
i General Boynton spoke out In meet
ing. He said things about statesmen
that made the statesmen angry. He
I had many personal encounters with
patriots whose feelings had been ruf
fled.
One night a man came Into Boyn
ton's office loudly proclaiming that he
Intended to shoot Boynton. The gen
eral grabbed a chair, beat the Intruder
over the head with It, knocked him
| down and threw him out. All this time
| Sterret sat at his desk, looking on in
j great amazement.
When the man landed in the gutter
Sterret came timidly over to Boynton.
"General," he said, "being a new hand
here, I don't know the practices of this
office nor the customs that pertain to
Washington correspondents, and I
didn't want to intrude. Now that I
j have seen what has happened, I trust
you will allow me a question?"
"Go ahead," said Boynton.
"When the next man comes in, would
it be too forward if I should crave the
privilege of kicking him a few times In
honor of the sainted Confederate
dead?"— Saturday Evening Post.
ABOARD A MAN-OF-WAR.
Life Largely Made Up of Scrubbing*,
Regulations and Inspections.
i The day's programme aboard a man
of-war is calculated to make the boy
who wants to run away "to sea sit up
and think twice. It varies somewhat
according us the ship Is in port or at
sea and under different commands, but
In any case, from 0 o'clock in the morn
ing till 7:80 at night, It Is a rather
strenuous round of scrubblngs and
j drills. The recruit realizes very soon
ffiat the expression "shipshape" means
i * good deal.
1 Saturday morning Is a tremendous
j cleaning time, called "field day," which
! Is followed by a half holiday in the
i afternoon, and on Sunday morning tho
captain himself inspects his ship from
keel to truck. The marine band Is sta
tioned just itelow on the hurricane
deck, and the bluejackets stand on the
port side of tne quarter deck and the
marines on the starboard, all ready
for inspection.
But life isn't all scrubblngs, regula
tions and inspections. On the larger
ships the government furnishes ath
letic supplies, and each man-of-war
has her champion boxer and baseball
and football teams. These teams are
managed or supervised, at least, by
officers, and many an ensign or lieu
tenant who has won his "N" at tho
Naval academy plays shoulder to shoul
der with his bluejackets. Such fa
miliarity would have scandalized old
Commodore Porter beyond words.—St
Nicholas.
Conversation.
The reason why so few people are
agreeable in conversation Is that each
Is thinking more of what he is intend'
ing to say than of what others are say
ing, and we never lister when we are
planning to speak.—Rochefoucauld.
That which is reasonable and thai
which Is unreasonable have both to en
counter the like contradiction.—Goethe.
| Fabian's Cure
: By LULU JOHNSON.
j; • Copyright. 1907. by M. M. Cunningham. ;
Fabian impatiently paced tne piazza.
It, was 8:10 and the breakfast bell
had not sounded. But not because
be was hungry did Fabian anathema
tize the cook.
He had wakened with little appetite,
but ever since he had begun to order
his life be had had breakfast at 8.
It had been the sole recommendation
of this boarding place that they had
breakfast at his accustomed hour In
stead of 7:30, as seemed to be the cus
tom in most of the boarding houses in
CaiTsvllie.
Because Fabian always took the
first two weeks In August as his vaca
tion he followed this custom, too,
though the break in tho even routine
of the office annoyed him. But habit
was Fabian's fetich. Habit decreed *
two weeks' vacation in August, and
so he continued to seek a resort where
the orderly routine of his llfo would
be the least interrupted.
This year he had rather fancied
Glen farm, but they bad breakfast at
7:15. Fabian had inquired irritably
why not 7 or 7:30 and had decided
In favor of Brook farm, where maals
were served at about the hours to
which he was accustomed In town,
though It annoyed him to have to eat
his dinner In the middle of the day
and a cold supper at night.
Ever since he had reached his seven
teenth j-oar Fabian had been alone
in the world and he had fallen In a
rut of system. Ills orderly habit of
mind mado him a valuable man In the
office, but his unwillingness to depart
from custom drew few friends, and
at twenty-six he was still heart whole.
The delayed breakfast was a fnr
greater annoyance than a more serious
disappointment might have been, and
he gnawed at his mustache as bestrode
up and down the piazza. He caught
the ilrst jangle as the bell was lifted
from the shelf and turned to enter tho
house, but just then there was a
Bcream from tho road, and he turned to
Bee a girl endeavoring to beat off the
farm dog, whose muddy paws had al
ready left their Imprint upon her dainty
skirts.
Something in her pose caught Fabi
an's fancy, and he went racing down
across the grass plot to her rescue,
OARLO PICKED OUT T[IH SHORTEST ROUTE
TO TUE HACK YAIiD.
whistling to the dog as he went But
Carlo was determined to make friends
with the girl and paid no attention to
the calls until Fabian's hand rested
heavily upon his collar and the toe of
Fabian's boot emphasized lightly the
Indiscretion of accosting strange young
women on tho public highway.
"He's a dear old thing," smiled tho
girl as Carlo picked out the shortest
route to the buck yard, his tall tucked
lnglorlously between his legs. "I sup
pose It is more my fault than his. I
walk down to the postoffice every
morning, and 1> always barks his
'Good morning," but today he seemed
to want to shake hands, and he did not
realize how dirty his paws were. You
won't punish him, please."
"He's not mine to punish," 6ald Fa
bian absently. He was thinking not
of Carlo, but the girl. No woman had
ever made strong appeal to him be
fore, but he felt dazed In the presence
of this radiant girl with the gentle
eyes and the smile that made the whole
landscape seem brighter. He was on
his knees in the road now, trying to re
move the worst of the muddy paw
prints with his handkerchief. It was a
clumsy effort, for he only made
smudges worse, and with a laughing
word of thanks the girl stopped him.
"It will be all right when It dries,"
she said, with her wonderful smile.
"You are very kind, but It really does
not matter. By the time I get back
'mm thu village it will be all rierht
jt» just a utile wasu sain anyway,
and a trip to the laundry will remove
all traces of the dog's impetuosity."
With a nod aud another smile she
started down the road, and presently
Fabian pulled himself together and
went into his delayed breakfast. He
sat In a trance through hLs brief meal
and hurried back to the piazza.
After breakfast it was his custom
to road the morning paper, uut he sat
with it in hie hand this morning and
did not even scan the headlines. He
was watching the road for the glint
of a whits dress, and when It came
In sight far down the road be strolled
to the gate with an elaborate assump
tion of carelessness and was leaning
against the fence as the girl came up.
The dried mud had been shaken
from her dress, and with a smile she
called his attention to the fact. "You
see it's all right," she declared.
"But I think you need a guard," he
declared, with sudden bravery that
startled him. "With your permission,
I will form an escort to ward oft dogs,
dragons and other Insects."
He fell Into step beside her before
she could refuse, and they walked
hrlaklv on Fnhian wondered If It
possible that she had been going pas.
the farm every morning while be ww
at breakfast and without his knowl
edge. It seemed now as though he
could feel her presence through storui
walls. Never having been in love j
before, he was swinging the length of 1
Cupid's pendulum, and he exerted him
self to be entertaining. So well did
he succeed that when he reached the
gate of Oien farm, all to soon, Miss j
Semple agreed togo for a walk in the
afternoon.
Fabian went Into the house with I
her that Kerr, whom he had met the i
year bef» -e, might complete the Intro
duction more formally, and even
smiled when Kerr introduced him as
"the human time table," with a laugh
lug dlssertntlon upon the exactness of
his habits.
The rest of Fabian's morning sched
ule was completely upset, though he
returned to Itrook farm and there
was nothing to Interrupt the even '
tenor of bis routine save his thoughts,
lie could only pace the plazxa and
think that Marcia Semple was to walk
with him that afternoon. The hours
dragged interminably, but at last he
could with decency present himself,
and together they started for the falls.
"How much time have we?" said
Mr.rcia as they started out. "Sir. Kerr
warned me that you had probably al
lotted a certain time to our walk ami
that this must not lie exceeded."
"Kerr," said Fabian viciously, "suf- ;
fers from softening of the brain. We
are going to make this walk Just as
long as we possibly can."
Marcia laughed her rippling laugh
that seemed to Fabian the most divine
music he had ever beard, but she re
turned to the subject again when they
had reached the falls and were sitting
on the mossy bank for a rest.
"Impulse is better than system," she
declared. "Now, suppose that you had
not followed impulse, but had gone
Into breakfast. I should not have
known you and should have lost a de
lightful walk."
"The argument is most potent," he
said gravely. "Behold In me a back
slider from system."
"Time will tell," she declared. "We
shall see."
But time told strongly in Fabian's
favor. To hasten the cure ho went to
an opposite extreme. Instead of the
most regular life he led the most er
ratic existence, aided and abetted by
Mareia. The day before his return to
town she declared his cure complete.
"You have not done a single thing
today at the time you usually do It," j
she declared as they leaned over the
bridge that spanned the tiny stream
and let their eyes feast upon the moon
lit landscape. "You did not even have
dinner."
"Yes, the cure Is complete," he said.
"I think I rather like doing what I j
want to do Instead of following a well
ordered plan. But you have got me
Into worse trouble."
Mareia did not answer. Iler eyes fol
lowed the ripple of moonlight across
the water, and the band that rested
upon the railing gripped the wood
more tightly.
"You should ask what the trouble
Is," he said after a moment. "Then I
should tell you that instead of a sched
ule the most important thing in life is
you. You have lifted me out of my
humdrum existence Into the new world
of love, dear. Is there hope that some
day my love will be returned?"
"I think I had better say yes," she
said, with a happy little laugh. "It
will insure the permanency of the
cure."
"And do you love me a little? - ' lie
asked humbly.
A soft little hand stole into his.
"Pick, dear," she said softl} - , "why
else should 1 have worked so for your
cure?"
BLIND MAN'S BUFF.
Origin of This Favorite Sport of Child
hood and Youth.
This favorite sport of childhood and
youth is of French origin aud very high
antiquity, having been introduced into !
England m the train of the Norman j
conquerors. Its French name, "Colin
Maillard," was that of a bravo war- j
rlor, the memory of whose exploits
still lives in the chronicles of the mid- i
die ages.
In the year 900 I.iege reckoned j
among its valiant chiefs one Jean Colin.
He acquired the name of .Maillard from
his chosen weapon being a mallet,
wherewith In fight he used to crush
his opponents. In one of the feuds
which were of perpetual recurrence In
those times he encountered the Count
de Louraln In a pitched battle, and, so
runs the story, in the first onset Colin
Maillard lost both his eyes. He or-1
dered his esquire to take him into the |
thickest of the fight, and, furiously j
brandishing his mallet, did such fearful |
execution that victory soon declared
Itself for him.
When Robert of France heard of
these feats at arms he lavished favor
and honors upon Colin, aud so great
was the fame of the exploit that it
was commemorated In the pantomimic
representations that formed part of the
rude dramatic performances of the age.
By degrees the children learned to act
It for themselves, aud It took the form
of a familiar sport.
The blindfolded pursuer as, with band
aged eyes and extended hands, he
gropes for n victim to pounce upon
seems in some degree to repeat the ac
tion of Colin Maillard, the tradition of
which is also traceable In the name,
blind man's buff.
Looking After Number One.
TJje seedy actor shuffled his feet aud
looked into his hat apologetically. He
laughed conscientiously at the joke
the manager made, but it was a hollow
laugh.
In fact, Mr. Perkins, otherwise
Claude Cremorne, juvenile lead, felt
hollow generally, particularly In the
part which should have contained his
dinner.
"A sovereign on account of my Bal
ery would l>e of inestimable service to
me just now," he murmured to the
manager. "You can deduct it at the
end of the week, you know."
"Ah, yes, dear old darling fellow,"
said the manager benlgnantly, "that's
all very well, don't you know. But the
difficult}' comes In here. Moet likely I
•han't be able to pay any salaries at
all at the end of the week, and If I
gfcee yon a sovereign now where should
1 be tbtn? No, be dear boy."
I CORTHELL'S |
| HEALTH CURE J
j By W. F. BRYAN H'
£ Copyrighted, 1807, by C. H. Sotcllffe. !
cortbeil strode along briskly. The
clear morning air, the bright sunlight
and the fertile fields bordering ou the
road were all a source of delight to
him.
Not iu years had he eujoyed a meal
as much as he had the homely break
fast provided at the little country ho
tel where he had put up the night be
fore and where he had left the trunk
that held his city clothes. Now in a
well worn suit he was tramping along
the dusty road with much the same
feeling as that enjoyed by a boy who
plays hookey from school for the first
time.
In years Corthell had not felt Justi
fied In taking a vacation. Finally
through a combination of circum
stances he had been able to get to
gether some capital, and by unremit
ting effort this had been doubled and
trebled Into the fortune that made him
prominent In the money market.
Then came the breakdown. The fa
mous specialist In nervous diseases
insisted upon a vacation. "It's either
a few weeks' vacation or years in an
Insane asylum," he said bluntly. "You
know best which you want. Make
your own choice."
In the end Corthell !iad capitulated
and hud suggested Newport as the
place for a vacation. The specialist
regarded him with disgust.
"I think I should have saved time by
sending you to the asylum first," he
said. He was paid $25 for a consulta
tion and could afford to say what he
pleased. "You get an old suit and a
comfortable pnlr of shoes and take a
walking tour. Don't goto any place
where you are liable to meet friends.
I know just the route. I will send you
a rond map."
E<? bowed Corthell out. Three days
lnti'r the broker was set down in a
tiny hamlet in the northern part of
the state, and this wus the first day of
his trip.
He had slopped to watch some men
haying, when one of them came to
ward him.
"Looking for a job?" he demanded.
Corthell laughed. "I don't know that
I am," he answered. "I was going
farther on."
"I'll give a dollar and a half a day
to drive one of the rakes," he offered.
"Know how to drive?"
Corthell smiled. His team of bays
had a dozen blue ribbons to their
credit.
"I can drive some." he admitted.
"Jump up and drive that rake then,"
was the man's curt answer, and, to
;
"I SUPPOSE I SHAM. BE THHOUGH ll* THE
ENl> OK THE WEEK,'' SAIIJ HE.
bis surprise, Corthell found himself
climbing the fence aud moving toward
the horse rake.
It seemed ages since he liud per
formed similar services on his father's
farm. The bony horse he was driving
bore little resemblance to his own
prize winners, but he derived more
real pleasure from the task than had
ever come from a spin along the boule
vard. He was surprised at the flight
of time when the born blew for dinner.
He was still more surprised at the
appetite he had for the pork and pota
toes that formed the menu. He ac
cepted two helpings and stll! had room
for a generous cut of the green apple
pie.
In the afternoon he was expected to
help pitch the sweet scented hay upon
the cart. He worked until the mus
cles of his back were sore and smart
ing, but gave no sign of his distress,
only worked nway with clinched teeth.
When at last the men knocked off and
me mini loan sutneU to tne uaru tie
heaved a sigh of relief.
Most of the men were from nearby
farms, and these were paid off and
started for their own homes. Corthell
was the lllst of the line, and the farm
er paused.
"I won't take anything off for the
time before you came," he said.
"Want to stay on till hayin's over?"
Corthell nodded.
"I guess i will," he agreed. "Work
seems to agree with me."
"Come on up to supper," ordered the
farmer. "I guess mother can fix you
up with a place over the wood shed."
Corthell followed his grim employer
across the fields, wondering what his
town associates would say conld they
know that he had hired out for a dol
lar and a half a day.
There were only three of the men at
supper, and Mrs. Hinder, with her
daughter Ituth. sat down to the table
with them. lUith had been busy in
the kitchen during the noon meal,
wh"e her mother had served. At
■lf of her Corthell was more than
ev> <lad he had taken the job.
) h reminded him of the UttVe girl
w. had been his first boyish sweet
he She bad died just after be had
»«. umi tn th«» abooro
tion of business he had come to dlvlff
women into two classes—stenographers
and scrubwomen. For the first time
in years he felt more than a passing
interest in a woman, and when he and
Ruth sat on the steps he rested his
tired body against the railing nnd chat
ted until bedtime.
Ituth, he learned, taught school In
winter, and, further, she was a gradu
ate of a well known woman's college.
She, on her side, recognized In him a
person better educated than the other
farm hands and plainly showed her
Interest.
The next few days Corthell tolled
from daybreak to sundown for the
sake of those quiet evenings In the
summer dusk, and love grew rapidly In
their hearts.
Each found In the other traits to
admire, and Corthell watched with
dread the progress of the harvest. In
a few days only the regular hired man
wot'd be needed, and this knowledge
gav 1 Corthell courage to speak.
Taey were leaning over the top rail
of the fence that lay beside the road.
Mrs. Binder, who was the organist at
the village church, was practicing the
Sunday music at the cheap organ In
the parlor. The old familiar hymns
were softened by distance and roused
in Corthell a flood of memories. " 1
"I suppose I shall be throw' the
end of the week." said he. "Will you
be sorry?"
"You know that," she said simply.
"I shall be very sorry. Will you?"
"I hope I shall not have to be very
sorry," he whispered. "I hope to carry
with me your promise that I may com. v
for you again. Will you promise, dear?
I know 1 am almost a stranger, but I
love you, sweetheart. Can you trust
me?"
"I do trust you," she said. "When
you have made a home for me, come
for me. Do not lie discouraged if the
struggle is hard. I will wait patiently
until you get a start, and then wc can
fight the world together,"
She put her hand trustingly in his,
and the brown head aud the ono
whose black hair was slightly streaked'
with gray drew together.
"Nice doings," snorted Iliram Bind
er, as he stepped forth from the shad
ows. "Haven't you more pride, Ruth,
than to fall iu love with a tramping
farm hand, and after all the education
I've given you? Why, you could mar
ry a man with a farm of his own."
"I'd rather marry the man I love,"
Ruth said stoutly. "I have told Will
that I will marry him when he can
make a home for me, and I mean It."
Binder blinked. Ruth had inherited
from him the stubbornness that was
tradition in that part of the country,
and he knew that she meant what
she said.
"You'll have to wait for a long
time," he said with a sneer, as he
turned away to cover his defeat.
"He's got $24 coinln' to him to start
with."
"I think I can manage it," inter
, rupted Corthell with a happy laugh.
"You see $24 added to about SIOO,OOO
makes about $100,024. I ought to be
able to start a home on that."
"You ain't that Corthell?" demanded
Binder with an emphasis that showed
that lie read the papers. "What are
you doiu' here?"
"Looking for health and a wife," he
answered, "and I've found both."
He watched his father-in-law-to-be
stump across the grass to the house,
then lie turned to tile girl. "You don't
mind, do you. Ruth? It will not make
any difference will it?"
"Not In my love," she answered sim
ply, "but 1 would rather have made
the fight with you."
A REALISTIC ACT.
Amusing Story of Joseph Jefferson as
Rip Van Winkle.
While he was playing Rip Van Win
kle at Chicago Joseph Jefferson once
went to the theater very much exhaust
ed by a long day's fishing on the lake.
. As the curtain rose on the third act
It disclosed the white haired Rip still
deep In his twenty years' nap. Five,
ten, twenty minutes passed, and he did
not awaken. The audience began to
get impatient nnd the prompter uneasy.
The great detor doubtless knew what
he was about, but this was carrying
the realistic business too far. The fact
was that all this time Jefferson was
really sleeping the sleep of the just,
or, rather, of the fisherman who had
sat eight hours in the sun. Finally the
gallery became uproarious, and one of
the "gods" wanted to know if there
was going to be "nineteen years more
of this snooze business!"
At this point Jefferson began to
snore. This decided the prompter, who
opened a small trap beneath the stage
and began to prod Rip from below.
The fagged comedian fumbled in his
pocket for an Imaginary railway ticket
and muttered drowsily, "Going right
through, 'ductor."
At this entirely new reading the au
dience was transfixed with amazement,
when all at once Jefferson sat up with
a loud shriek, evidently in agony. The
exasperated prompter had jabbed him
with a pin. Consciousness of the sit
uation came to him, and the play went
on after that with a rush.
Getting an Opening.
A man had a story about a gun
which he delivered himself of upon all
occasions. At a dinner party one even
ing he writhed in his chair for over
an hour, waiting for a chance to Intro
duce his story, but no opportunity
presented itself. Finally he slipped a
coin Into the hand of a waiter and
whispered:
"When you leave the room again,
slam the door."
The waiter slammed the door as di
rected. and the man sprang to his feet,
with the exclamation:
"What's that noise—a gun?"
"Oh, no!" resumed his host. "It was
only the door."
"Ah, I see! Well, speaking of guns
reminds me of a little story," etc.
Position With a Pull,
Visitor I understand that our friend
Stuckup has got a position with a pull
to it at last? Residenter—That's right.
By means of a rope he helps to yank
cattle to slaughter In an abattoir. —
Morrlstown Times.
Always at It.
Mrs. Pease—My husband nnd I nev
er dispute before the children. Wt
always send them out when a'quarrei
seems Imminent. Kiss.Sharp -Ah, I've
often wondered*svhy they're •o'tomcb
in the street!
A MESSAGE FROM MARS. '
Hi« Proof That the Planet Was 'inhab
ited and Civilized.
Ebenraer was driving Ills master's
plow straight and true, but none the
less With u thoughtful air, as though
his thoughts were elsewhere. And so
they were; they were souring far
aloft above the plow and the brown
earth turned up as to reach Mars.
The previous evening Ebenezer had
attended a lecture at the village -
room 011 "The Heavens," an<l what the
lecturer had said about Mars being In
habited profoundly Impressed Eben
ezer. As he mechanically guided his
korses und his plow something struck
Kilni suddenly on the head, and he
dropped senseless to the ground. A
balloonist passing overhead had acci
dentally dropped an empty whisky bot
tle upon Kbenezer's fortunnt ,y thick
skull. When he recovered conscious
ness the balloon had passed out of sight,
but the cut on his head and the blood
stained I Kittle at his feet lei. Ined.
Kbenezer gasped In amaze—eut and
uwe as he gazed all ar the wide
brown fields and t l '. bl ky above.
Then he picked up the bottle and
smelled at It and at once deserted his
team in great excitement and set off
posthaste for the vicarage.
"I mun tell vicar Mar- be 'nabited
right enough." he mutte ed. "Civil
ized, too; they drinks whisky."— Lon
don Express.
A FASHION FROM WAR.
How Flat Watches Took Place of the
Old Time "Turnips."
When the neat man ttrfres unto him
self a watch as thin as parchment he
little thinks that that thin watch re
sults from army regulations.
TTp to the time of the allies taking
Paris the ordinary fvatch was convex
in shape and called from its outline a
"turnip." The oflicers of the Russian
and other armies objected to this be
cause its bulbous form made the uni
form of a man 011 parade look untidy,
whether It were carried in the coat or
the fob. In Paris, however, they found
that the watchmakers of the Palais
Royal had contrived a chronometer
which got over the difficulty.
Flat watches were the fashion In
Paris. The English when they ap
peared In the streets of the French
capital marched in not In gala dress
such as the others wore, but in the
raiment which they had worn on cam
paign. Great was the Impression
which their habiliments created, but
they at once adopted the smart flat
watch and brought It back to England
for our own manufacturers to copy.—
London Standard.
A Ready Answer.
When George Francis Train was giv
ing evidence before the metropolitan
board of aldermen of London in favor
of his scheme for laying a tramway up
Ltidgate hill, a noble lord among his
interlocutors suddenly fixed the old
pioneer with his monocle and sa ! I:
"May I—ah—ask a question, Mr.—ah
—Train?"
"That Is what I am bore for, my
lord," he replied.
"You know, of course, how very nar
row is Ludgate hill. Suppose that
when I go down to the Mansion ITouse
in my carriage one of my horses should
slip 011 your rails and break his
leg. would you pay for the horse?"
The reply came like a flash. "My
lord, if you could convince mo that
your horse would not have fallen if the
rails had not been there I certainly
should pay."—Harper's Weekly.
Tit For Tat.
"A United Stat -s senator," said a
young physician, "addressed the class
I was graduated from on ourcommence
inont day. He advised us in this ad
dress to lie broad and generous In our
views. He said he once saw two fa
mous physicians Irtrodueed at a re
ception. They were deservedly fa
mous. but they were of opposing
schools, and the regular, as ha shook
the other by the hand, said softly:
" 'I aui glad to meet you as a gen
tleman. sir. though I can't admit that
you are a physician."
"'And I.' said the hotneopathist,
smiling faintly, 'am glad to meet you
as a physician, though I cau't admit
you are a gentleman." "
The Elevator Eyes.
One of the greatest hardships suffer
ed by men who run elevators in the
tall office buildings downtown is the
bad effect it has on their eyes. The
cars are run at a high rate of speed,
and, as the men have to look straight
ahead of them most of the time, their
eyes soon feel the strain of the con
stant motion.
"I've worked in the subway," re
marked one of these elevator men,
"and I thought that was pretty bad,
but It isn't a patch to the way iny
eyes feel after a day's work in these
cars. If you ever run across an ele
vator man who seems unusually bad
tempered toward the close of the busi
ness day, just look at his eyes and you
will be apt to forgive him. They gen
erally show the strain that has been
put on them for eight or ten hours."—
New York Press.
IDG Iff!
A Flellabl©
TO SHOP
Tor ail kind of Tin Roofing,
Spoutlne and Canoral
Job Work.
Stoves. Heatora, It an 40 a,
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JOHN HIXSOJN
NO. 1M E. FRONT BT.