I RAILROAD TIME TABLES. Pknn'a K. K. EAST. WBST 7.11 A. M. 9.11 A. M. 1U.17 '• 12 15 P. M. 2.21 P. M. 4Si " 5.50 11 7.51 " .SUNDAYS. 10.17 A. M. <.SI P. M. D. L,. AW. K. . EAST. WEST. d.57 A. M.O» A. M. 1U.19 " 12.47 P. M. •ill P. M. 4.55 " 5.51 '• 8.«) " SUNDAYS H. 57 A. M. 12.47 P.M. 5:51 P M ri 411 " I'll ILA * HEADING R. K. NORTH. SOUTH. 7.82 A. M 11.24 A. M. 4,Utl P M. 6.05 P. M. BLOOM fe'I'KKKT. 7.U A. M. 11.22 A. M. 4.(12 I'. M H. 04 P. M. J. J. BROWN, THE EYE A SPECIALTY Kyes tested, treated, titled with mii artificial eyes supplied. M.irket Street, Bloomsburg, Pa. Hours—lo h in.to r» pin. Telephone 1430. SHORT STORIES. Thirty-five foreign countries have dip lomatic representatives in Washington. Baltimore has now fewer than 80,000 colored inhabitants and Louisville few er than 40.000 St. Louis has 35,000. The largest ships ever launched from an American shipyard are the Korea and Siberia, built at Newport News for tbe transpacific trade. A member of the National Fisb Cul ture association suggests that land un suitable for agricultural purposes might be converted into fishponds. A Williamsburg (N. Y.) man had a premonition that he was about to die. He at once proceeded to purchase an urn and ordered his body to be cremat ed. Teu minutes later the man ex pired. FRUITS AND FLOWERS. It is a very important Item to keep bouse plants clean and free from dust. Giving the poultry the run of the plum orchard will aid materially in keeping down the curculio. Whatever fertilizers are used in the orchard should be spread all over the surface and not around the stems of the trees. One of the best usee to be made of tbe soapsuds Is to pour them around the fruit trees of any kind or on the garden. Wood ashes, whether fresh or leach ed, are valuable for all kinds of fruit trees and for most garden crops a 9 well. They contain potash. A Doctor's Bad Plight. "Two years ago. as a result of a se rious cold, I lost my voice." writes Dr. M. L. Scarbrough, of Hebron, Ohio, "then began an obstinate cough. Every remedy known to me as it practicing physician for 3."» years,failed,and I daily grew worse. Being urged to try Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and Colds, 1 fonnd quick relief, and for the last'ten days have felt bette than for two years." Positively guar anteed for Throat and Lung troubles by Panles & Co. ">oc and SI.OO. Trial bot tles free. GERMAN ARMY OFFICERS. lhr Ab)rrt DHrrnor Skowm Thmm by Ctrllijuk* 'la 4bmlb(. The respect and deference ahown»to the German army officer on duty and off duty by his countrymen are won deiful to sec, according to a London vvi iter. "Civilians, even compatriot* of distinction. ou entering the dining room bow to him with formal humility. He acknowledges tbe obeisance® only with a rigid glare of haughty lndtffer ence. though he is politely conartoua of the coming and going of ladle*. The German civilian does not appear to be surprised at or to resent con temptuously ignored by hlxn, but rec ognizes him and looks up to him as a superior member of a superior race and continues to make his obeisances, however loftily they are ignored. "But. while the officer la unable to s*-e the civilian at whom he is looking point blank, he never misses observ ing the entrance and acknowledging the salute of another of his own race. He rises from his seat and stands stiff and erect while the newcomer ad vances and exchanges formal bows and greetings, and as he recovers the erect position from the bow he brings his heels together with a sharp parade click and waits until his superior baa taken a seat before he resumes his own." There were tremendous ceremonies in eating and drinking, too, especially in drinking. "Each table group lifted their glasses invariably together, as if at the word of command, taking their time apparently from the senior pres ent Having seized their glasses to gether and raised them together and simultaneously drunk, they would sumultaneously finish and then, hold ing their glasses before them, would with great ceremony bow to one another before replacing them on the table. It did not matter whether they were drinking beer or claret or ilie German champagne, which seems to be the especially smart thing to take, there was the same ceremony. When a senior officer went out of the room, all the juniors present rose to stiff attention and bowed as he passed. H lieu a junior rose, he made the round of the table on his way to the door and bowed separately, with a spur jingling heel click ovwy time to every other otfiver." PROOr ENOUGH. A Mother's Statement of a Tine Result A Weak Nervous Little one Made Stroug anil Vigoroua. Mrs J E. Daniels of No. 40H W. Mah oning street, Danville Pa , nays "My little girl Leah 12 years old has been vnry poorly and nervous for a long time and last winter was so bad that I had to keep her out Of school. 1 got some of Dr. A W < base s Nerve Pills at. < Josh's drug store and gave her some of them. They strengthened her wonderfully,re lieved the headaches and she rested so much better. Dr A W < base's Nerve Pills are sold at ">Oc a box »t. dealers or Dr A. W Chase Medicine Co., Buffalo, N. Y See that portrait and signature of A W. Chase. M. D are on every package. tt tt tt tt tt tt tt 0 & & & « ADVENTURE ON THIN ICE tt tt tt tt it tt tt TIIEY were standing on tlio north shore of Cralgle's pond, and Ripley said: "I'd agree to ride across there ou a load of bricks. It is ridiculous for your uncle to say that the ice is not strong " He addressed Miss Allen. Indeed, he bad not spoken a dozen words di rectly to John Kemp in half a mile that the three had walked together. "Cralgle's pond," remarked Kemp, also studiously addressing the girl, "is a mighty uncertain piece of water. When in doubt, don't go near it. That, is the way to keep dry." He was a native of those parts, and the other two were visitors, Ripley fr\>m Maine, where ice may be relied upon, and Gertrude Allen from Bos ton, where any policeman will tell you whether tbe pond on the Common will "bear." Ripley was known to be a wonderful skater, and Kemp would have been sorry to see his rival exhibit the art in the presence of Miss Allen. He him self, though "a fine flgger of a man," as they say in those parts, was more remarkable for strength than grace, while Ripley was built like a thorough bred race horse. As for Gertrude, throughout the past week, when there had been so much talk about skating, she had modestly or perhaps shrewdly neglected to men tion that she was anything more than a plain, straightaway skater, whereas in reality she entertained a notion that she might be able to show even the distinguished Mr. Ripley a few points in the game. Hut she must do it that day or not at all, for sue would return to her home on the morrow. "This Ice looks strong euougb," said Ripley, descending the bank. "It's queer stuff, though," he added, step ping gingerly out upon it; "dull to the eye and perfectly opaque, like a gray stone. I wonder how deep the water Is here?" He was about thirty yards from the bank. "There's a hundred feet of water un der you," said Kemp. Ripley shied toward the bank invol untarily. and then, ashamed of himself j and enraged at Kemp's laughter, he strode out to where a strange looking, flat, black rock, about as big as the top of a chimney, rose a few inches , from the level of the pond. "That's what we call the smoke- j stack," said Kemp. "It comes up very j 6teep from the bottom of the pond and j JOINED HANDS IN GRACE!XX, I'AS DE DEL X must be all of forty feet high. It's one of the wouders of Cralgle's pond, and ! there are plenty more." Ripley walked slowly ashore. He was much In doubt about the ice. It was thin; that was the truth about it, and j it did not look right. Unfortunately, j however, the experiment had satisfied Gertrude as to the pond's safety. She ! expressed no definite opinion about it, 1 however, as they strolled back to her uncle's house, but she cleverly stimu lated Ripley's desire to show what he could do on skates. The result was just what she expect- ! ed. He confided to her that lie should j go out to the pond secretly that after ! noon, and she said that she would go J with him. To do Ripley justice, he had no no tion that Gertrude would go upon the Ice, and he was amazed when they reached the pond to see her produce a pair of skates from a bag which he j had supposed contained only luncheon. ' "I can't let you go out there," he ex claimed. "I've a right to risk my own , life, which, by the way. has become | worthless on account of your outra- ! geous flirtation with Jack Kemp"— "Put my skates ou for me, and don't | be eilly," said Gertrude. He compiled, protesting, and then he adjusted his own. Gertrude promised to stand close to the shore, and she did so for about two minutes Then, ju knew that lie was [ In the pie« ii •i! is peei Her grace j Intoxicated bin.; lie forgot whether the j lev vv:i- a:i .j.-1 s thick or a yard. He 1 wa> ,iii- 'li.uv only of a high, inspiring j emu la i i< II They nude a handsome pair beyond a doubt, .iiid Kemp would have had a bail half hour could lie have seen them. I They exhibited their in turn and j iu the Intervals of the contest joined ! hands in graceful pas de deux. It was when they \yere occupied with ! one of these ice dances and had worked j out fur from the shore that Cralgie's | pond suddenly revealed to them a full knowledge of Its character. The ice be- j ueutii them gave forth a sound like a ; gasp. Ripley, who was skating back- j ward, felt himself sinking. In the ! flash of time that was allowed him i and with the last effort of which he i was capable lie put his strength upon J Gertrude's hands, throwing her to one side, In the direction of the shore. She did not fall, and by a miracle she escaped the break in the ice. Ripley went through ami into the water, head and heels - , but lie rose iu the break by great good fortune and to his unspeak able Joy beheld Gertrude safe. "Keep back!" he called to her. "I'll get out all n„iit. Co ashore!" She stood lujt where she was, facing 8 tt tt tt tt tt » ? t: : ..8v... : : HOWARD H£LDIN(i : j tt Copyright, 1901, ; By Cb& r '«s W. HooKe • • ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ ♦♦ hiui and trembling so that he could see her quake. She uttered some faint, strange cries, in the nature of prayers, perhaps, and certainly not loud enough to be heard except In heaven. But she neither lied nor came to the rescue, as he had feared she might. Any one who has ever tried to get out of a hole in thin ice will realize Rip ley's position. The first efforts are indescribably exhausting, and black despair comes quickly ou the heels of them. The ice broke before him, and long cracks stretched out ahead. i hey stretched toward Gertrude, and lie cried out to her in horror to save her self, but she stood stock still, lor his life be would not risk involving her in lils own peril, and he turned aside. Then, by the interposition of Provi dence, be came upon a loug fence rail frozen into the ice. It gave him a hold for his hands and lent a little stability to the crumbling edge. Ripley was a light man and phenomenally agile; moreover, he v.as one whom danger makes calm. He had a chance for his life, and he made the most of it.in three seconds he was lying flat upon the ice outside tbe break. i : i I L - "WELL, MISS ALLEN. HOW DO YOU LIKE CUAIUIE S POND? " With great caution he got upon his feet and struck out toward Gertrude. The ice cracked under him. Cralgie's pond was showing what it could do. "Come!" be cried, seizing the girl's hand. "Tbe whole pond's breaking up! I What's the matter?" "My—my knees!" gasped Gertrude. 1 "They—they tremble so!" The jK)or child was experiencing one of the many strange phenomena of fear. Her soul acknowledged no panic, but she could not put forth one fool 1 beyond the other to save her life or i even to save his. As he paused beside ( her she began to sink down, and the ice cracked around them with the solt ly menacing voice of doom. He put his right arm around her. j and the ice groaned under them. For ; the next few seconds it seemed to him ' that he was skating ou water rather thuu Ice. He knew that with this bur den he could never reach the shore; he knew that to sink with her was the j cud for both of them And then the black top of that strange rock called ' the "smokestack" seemed to start up under his eyes. His right skate cut dean through. He stumbled, recovered himself and stood gasping ou the rock with Gertrude in his arms. He set her upon her feet and, holding her by the shoulders, looked Into her face with an excellent imitation of a smile. "Well, Miss Allen," said he. "how do you like Cralgie's pond?" The manner of this singular question went far toward calming her, and the rock under her feet lent firmness to her limbs. "Was there ever anything so awful!" she cried. "Since you don't seem to like it,"he rejoined, "1 suggest that we go ashore." "I don't dare," said she. with a shud der. "and I can't. 1 haven't the strength." "But we've tried the ice there. We mow it's strong," said he. "Don't be afraid." He stepped off the rock and extended his baud to her. Slit? held back. He gently drew her forward, and the next instant they both scrambled to the smokestack again, while in the place ! where they had stood appeared au om- 1 inous marking upon the ice like a great spider's web. "I'll tell you what's a fact. Miss Al- ■ leu," said the young man, with an ef- I fort to be conventional, "it's a warm day, and this ice is inciting faster than \ any ice I ever saw before. Upon my j soul," he added, "it's beginning to j rain!" In fact, some drops fell from the lead en sky upon his outstretched hand. | Gertrude caught him by the arm. "Do you realize what that meansV" j she cried. "We shall have to stay here forever!" "Well, it mightn't be more than two i or three weeks." said he cheerfully. | "This weather can't last always. And 1 with you for company"— * "Do you suppose it would do any good to scream?" she asked suddenly. "Let's try." "I'd be ashamed," said he, glancing at the shore as if he feared detection, and at that moment the bulky form of Jack Kemp appeared in the path be tween the spruces. For fully half a minute Kemp stared at them, and not a word was spoken Then he called in a voice that seemed inappropriate to the seriousness of the occasion: "I say! What are you two doing out there?" "We're waiting for a cold snap," re plied Ripley pleasantly. "We've been skating, and the ice is all melting, and we can't get ashore." said Gertrude. Kemp took a seat on a rock. "The way the ice melts iu Cralgie's pond," said he "is scandalous It is said to be due to a peculiar geological : formation which l> i- warm water into tliis pond from the lower regions of the earth. A Harvard professor was up here one time, and he told me"— "A little less geology and a little more assistance, Mr. Kemp," said Rip- , ley, "would seem to meet the require- j ments of the present situation." Kemp took a cigar out of ills pocket snd slowlv lighted it I if ' J "This is a hard proposition," ho said. "I must think It over. If Miss Allen had taken the advice of sensible peo i pie"— Ripley, glancing at Gertrude, per ceived that her face was crimson. "I can't stand it either," he said, j "Shall we make a dash? The ice will ; surely hold if we go fast." She nodded and took his hand. The i r.fxt instant they were skimming to- j ward the shore. But in that very spot , where Kipley had stood in the morning ; when Kemp had startled him with ! mention of the great depth below Ger trude was seized once more with un- I controllable trembling. Feeling that she would fall. Ripley drew her toward him involuntarily, while his speed Was checked. And then he felt the ice sinking under thein. Strangely, there seemed to be plenty of time and yet not time enough to move. Ripley's arm was arouud her; his face was close to hers. She clasped him suddenly, but not with the clutch of fear. lie knew it in that instant for the last impulse of her heart, fur an embrace excused—hallowed, indeed—by the near pi . r-f dpfitb. And then Uiey sioou lugeiiier, blood in water not over a foot deep, stood, heaven knows how lorn'. in that ridicu lous position, trying to realize that they were still a part of this terrestrial scheme. "Kemp, you scoundrel," cried Ripley as he waded ashore with Gertrude in his arms. "I thought you said there was a hundred feet of water there!" "Did I?" said Kemp calmly. "I must have meant the other side of the pond. This side is as flat as your hand out to that rock and beyond it. But, you see. I wanted to scare you, and I did it too. That rock, by the way, is about as tall as a good sized trunk." "And the shoal water extends be yond it?" gasped Ripley. "How far?" "Almost to the deep hole where you took your bath." Ripley pressed his hand to his fore head. "You're a wonderfully lucky liar. Jack Kemp." said lie. "1 died a thou " • 1 BTOOI> IN WATER NOT OVEK A FOOT I'EEP i sand deaths with this blessed child in my arms before I reached that rock. 1 And it seems that about VKH) of them were unnecessary. "But 1 lived a thousand lives." he added, turning to Gertrude, "while we were sinking together afterward." "And 1 a thousand also," she whis pered. Kemp looked at them wide eyed; then, all in an instant, the color went out uf his lace, and the breath out of hU» lungs with a sound like a great sob. NOTES OF NOTABLES, The president works hard, but does not show it. He takes daily exercise. Charles L. Hutchinson, the million aire banker of Chicago, has been a I church worker and a Sunday school su perintendeut for the past twenty-four years. Mrs. David B. Stamp of Finehville, N. V., who celebrated her one hundred and eighth birthday recently, lived at Fislikill when Robert Fulton's steam boat made its first trip. Frank Muiock of Berlin, Wis., has offered the Milwaukee committee who will erect a monument to Kosciusko the granite base for the statue, which he will quarry from his farm. Mir sea S. K. Nweeya, the I'ersian stu dent who is takiug a course iu medi cine at a college in Indianapolis, is an applicant for the position of consul general to the United States from I'er -1 sia. S. C. Dalrymple of Alexandria, hid., is the possessor of the most extensive and unique collection of pipes in that state. Several are hundreds of years I old and ha\e curious and tragic histo ries. It was particularly noticed at the re i cent New England dinner in Philadel ! phia that the speech of Chinese Minis ter Wu easily outshone all the others i so far as good English was concerned. Among the orators of the evening were Justice Brewer, Mr. Hamlin, Mr. Hill J and Mr. Cock ran. Rev. Dr. Charles Nichols, who achiev j ed notoriety by publishing a list of i whom he regarded as the elite of so i ciety in the United States, has been ! overwhelmed with otters front lyeeum j bureaus and lecturing associations to i detiue his views of what American so ciety should consist. I Dr. Charles R. Henderson, president i of the National Prison association and i professor of sociology in the University I of Chicago, has just returned after sev | en months spent in Germany studying ! jails and prison conditions, examining | cells and eating the brown bread and I soup of tin- prisoners. John Clews, brother of Henry Clews, the banker, stamped a silver five cent piece forty-six years ago with the name and birth date of his son, John • Clews, Jr., and at once disposed of the I coin. The other day when his son re j ceived change after making a purchase lie found the stamped coin was a part j of It. When Lord Curzon, the viceroy of India, travels, he is usually aecompa- j nied by Lady Curzon and 120 attend ants. Great precautions are taken to insure his safety, and everything i* done for his comfort. In southern Pun jab the railroad line is watered to lay the dust. At his destination he is re ceived with extraordinary ceremony. Urlef \n % n I One of the briefest naval dispatches ever penned was Captain Walton's message to his chief. Admiral Byng, after the defeat of the Spanish lieet off Cape I'assaro in 1718, and it ran thus: Sir—l have taken and burnt :IB per nmr- Ktn, eoiriK for Syracuse, and am, sir. your obedient servant. J. WALTON. j "I am told, sir, (list you spouo or | as a common liar." "Whoever told you that, sir, must have I wen trying to break it to you gently. 1 said you were a whole bu reau ol statistics ' Chicago Tribune HER GIANT I FOLDING BED j * By C. B. LOOMIS .... V Copyright, IbOl, by C. 11. Luomi» O It was against Mr. Bentley's advice j that Cora bought the giant folding bed j ! They lived on the sixth floor in a small j "five-rooms-and a-hath-steam lieated all-improvements" flat, and he said that such a huge folding bed was out of all proportion to the size of the bed room. But Mrs. Bentley had set her heart on it, and Mr. Bentley has not been husband so long as to feel like thwarting any legitimate wish. When she went down to the store, she found she was just in time to get one at half price. What luck! She had expected to pay $35 for the bed, and she got it at $25, although by what process of arithmetic twenty-five be comes the half of thirty-five she did not stop to inquire. But with the reduced price of the bed her good luck ended, and she en tered upon a chapter of annoyances that would have made the bed dear as a gratuity. The bed people were just moving out and were too busy to send the bed home. Five separate expressmen re fused to stir their wagons when they learned that It was a giant. She begau to wish that it was a trundle bed. But at last an expressman who was just starting in business and who was therefore inexperienced contracted for t- to deliver it. She reflected that the salesman had told her that it was a very convenient size, as one side of the room did not need to be papered when the bed was up, for it took up the entire wall space. So she went and waited for the bed with nil the ardor of a small child. Every time the dumb waiter blew she ran out to see if they were trying tc Bend it up that way, but when it final ly arrived after a wait of four hours It came in at the front door. After ten minutes or so Mrs. Bentley heard mastodonic footsteps on the Btalrs, the swish of tearing wall paper, the crash of falling globes, and she knew that they were bringing the bed up stairs. So did all the other fiat dwellers. When she looked over the staircase, there were from three to four heads beneath her, all looking down. The arrival at different landings was punctuated by the crash of glass and the fall of plaster. And on the third floor the bed fell on one of the men. Luckily he was a fat German, and he escaped with a barked shin and a mis laid temper. Long before that there was a string of home returning heads of families separated from their little ones by the Chinese wall of a bed. Those who were athletic enough climbed over and escaped to their apartments, but the rest had to content themselves with throwing kisses to their beloved ones and telling them not to despair. Mrs. Bentley had not hitherto known there were so many people living in the house. The stairs were black with them, and the bed moved with the de liberation of a glacier. When the men reached the fourth floor, they clamored for beer, and Mrs. Bentley, being inexperienced, sent for two bottles, which were brought in by the janitor's sou. The two men sat down, or, rather, up, way up, on the bed and opened a bottle apiece amid groans from the belated flat dwellers who lived above the third. It Is probable that they had already solaced themselves with beer, for they became very merry and loquacious aft er the bottles had been emptied, and many of their jokes would not have been allowed at a variety theater. There is a saying that there is al ways room at the top. This did not prove to be the case In regard to the giant bed. The hallway at the top fiat Was a joint affair, two suits opening on it, and it was the narrowest in the building. When the men finally arriv ed with their tremendous load, they found that it was going to be a Chinese puzzle to get Into Mrs. Bentley's. They shattered the last globe and then sat down on the stairs to ponder. They finally came to the conclusion that they could not get it in unless the door of the opposite apartment were Opened to admit of Its being slewed around. Mrs. Cochran was the opposite neigh bor. She and Mrs. Bentley had been as distant as such contiguous flat dwellers could be. Their bows in the hall were as icy as the hall itself. Mrs. Cochran thought Mrs. Bentley a fool ish little new wife, and Mrs. Bentley thought Mrs. Cochran common. Still, there was nothing for It but to ask Mrs. Cochran to open her front door and let the man swing the bed into the doorway for just one moment. The fat man rang her bell. She open ed the door, with fire in her eyes. She had been tryiug to get the youngest to eleep, and the constant thumping and crashing and the objurgations and beery laughter of the expressmen had rolled the not too placid waters of her disposition to a foaming point. Mrs. Cochran glowered. "Oh!" said Mrs. Bentley, with a lias tlly made veneer of sweetness. "May the men just swing the bed into your hallway so that they can get it into uiy doorway? 1 didn't suppose it was so big. I don't think it was so big iu the store." Mrs. Cochran sniffed at the inanity of the remark, but she said: "Oh, I suppose I can't refuse. 1 hope you'll quit your thumping after you get it in.l can't get my child to sleep while It's going on." "I'm sure it will only be a minute. You see, the worst is over." "I should.hope..so," said Mrs. Coch ran, looking at the dents In the wall and the broken, globes. And then the two expressmen put their shoulders to the bed and swung it into the doorway with such vehemence that it stuck I like a fat cork iu a small bottle and rc fused to budge. "Well, this Is a pretty state of tliiugs." said Mrs. Cochran from be hind the bed. "How do you suppose we're going to close our front door with that great bed iu the way?" "You von't need to close it. No one vill come iu vhlle der bet is dere. It is besser as a door." And the German 1 laughed uproariously and fatly "Oh, but this Is too awful!" said Mrs. Bentley, wringing her hands helplessly. "1 should think it was," came the voice of Mrs. Cochran from the other side of the bed. "Is your hußband in there? Can't he help push?" suggested Mrs. Bent ley. "No," snapped Mrs. Cochran. "He hasn't come home yet, and, what's more, he can't until this barricade is removed How anybody but a foul could have bought such u monstrous! tiling I don't fe--" At this juncture Mr. Cochran came 1 up stairs, with Mr. Bentley just be hind him. Mr. Cochran looked puz zled. Mr. Bentley groaned. He had ! come home too soon. "What are you doing to the bed?" I asked Mr. Cochran. < "Ve ain't doin' a ting to id," said | the fat German joyously. Bentley and Cochran laughed, but | Mrs. Bentley saw no humor in the re i mark, and certainly Mrs. Cochran saw j no funny side to the bed. Both sides i seemed tragic to her. "Is that you, George?" she called out. "Yes, it's me. Shall I come in?" "You can't except by the fire es cape," said Mrs. Cochran despairingly. "What are you doing with it in the wrong door?" asked Mr. Bentley of the expressmen. "Sure, 'twould have shtook as fasht in anny dure," said the Irish express man, and the German roared synipa thetically. Mr. Cochran is a man of action. I "Here; we four men ought to be able I to move a little be a bed. Now, alto- j gether; pull!" Mr. Cochran is a successful politl- i clan, but he had the wrong kind of I pull with him, and the only result of the effort was that Mr. Bentley pulled off some of the molding and fell on his back. Nothing daunted, Mr. Cochran said, "Let's go around by way of the fire es cape and push." The two expressmen aud Mr. Coch ran made nothing of passing from Mrs. Bentley's parlor to Mrs. Coch ran's parlor by the fire escape, but Mr. Bentley is light headed and had to be helped across by his wife. Then the two entered the Cochran apartments, for the first time, like thieves in the night. Now all six combined their strength and pushed, but the bed only laughed at them. "Well, nothing more can be done | now," said Cochran. "The bed Is here, j and it's got to stay here for the pres ent. Now, you men might us well go i about your business. You've done what you set out to do -the bed is up here fast enough." "How much do I owe you?" asked i Bentley of the German. "Two dollars. I'll sent arouut a car penter if you vand." "Oh, no!" said Mrs. Bentley. "He'll j be able to move it." Back across the fire escape was Mr. Bentley helped by his faithful wife, . and then they bade the Cochraus good j night, it was such an Impossible thing j that had happened that everybody felt \ good natured once more, just as In a ; blizzard or a period of excessive heat i people make light of their misfortunes and pussersby joke one another. Next morning immediately after , breakfast Mrs. Bentley went down to j the bed company to see whether they I could suggest a way of getting the bed j out of Mrs. Cochran's doorway. They had moved, and a big sign in I the window bore the legend, "To Be i Opened In a Few Days as a Ladies' ! Lunchroom." For the space of two days that bed stood in the doorway while carpenter after carpenter came and looked at It and shook his head and went away. Then came oue who said: "I've seen those beds before. They ain't worth bothering with. The company's failed that made them. Now, next door to my shop is a vacant lot, and if I cut the bed to pieces 1 guess you can dump it there and the owner of the lot won't mind." Mrs. Bentley hailed the scheme as a heaven sent proposition. Mr. Bentley was down town, and Mrs. Cochran, who was on the other side chatting with her— for in spite of what had come between them they were now quite friendly—seconded the plan. The carpenter borrowed an ax of the janitor, and in a half hour's time, with the exception or the mirror, which was preserved intact, there was not I square foot of the bed unbroken. The carpenter sent the pieces down on the dumb waiter and then took them away and presumably dumped them. Mrs. Cochran spent five minutes shut ting and opening the door. It was so pleasant to be able to do it again. Then Mrs. Bentley invited her neigh bor into her flat and apologized for making so much trouble. "It was no trouble at all, my dear. It has made something to talk about." Now, Mr. Bentley seemed to tldnk that !f-5 for the bed, $1! for delivery and $lO for damage to the hallways, together with the charge of the car penter for the time it took him to de stroy the bed, was rather a large amount to pay for a subject of conver sation. So he isn't saying a word about it. CYNICISMS. If you are all right, you needn't talk ; i yourself to death telling about it. When a man sees a sign "Keep Out," I he thinks it is meant for other people. | Some people keep up a bluff so long j j they can't shake it after the cause is } | gone. In books and newspapers a husband ! always refers to his wife as "My dear." A man will be very much Interested t in his wife's gossip and then scold her j for repeating such talk, i After a man has been married about a year there is added Jo his already i long list of crimes that of waking the i baby. Don't accumulate too many side is sues. Notice someday how much time you devote to side issues that are not 1 important.—Atchison Globe. BRAKES AND COUPLINGS. ) There are only twenty-three daily runs of 100 miles and upward on all the French rail v.: > systems. Thirty to forty miles an hour is the rule for railroad iraiiis in Russia; in Siberia fifteen to twenty. Of the miles of railways now in operation in Africa more than ;• are in British colonies and protector , ates. The Pennsylvania Railroad company is importing Mora wood ties from Brit ish Guiana. They are said to last fifty years. The life of a white oak tie is ten years. Yucatan is to be cobwebbed with rail i roads, according to present plans. New ; Yorkers have contracted to build 275 miles of load in southeastern Yucatan ! to penetrate logwood and mahogany re gions. The steeple of the parish church at Chesterfield, England, is often called I the "corkscrew'' steeple, for it has got quite a big twist. This is due to the ac | tion of the sun <>n the wooden and iron j materials, and the warping is more pro i nounced in the cast: of Chesterfield ! church than in any other church in England. Barnstable and Bristol and one or two other places have leaning steeples, but their tendency is decided ly to "lean" and not to "twist." The ! church at Chesterfield is the nearest I rival in the United Kingdom to tin \ leaning tower at Pisa. ! : | Her Majesty ® 1 The New % s Wommi © m ",*. ♦ *Xv Speaking ot : By Eliza, | Christmas andj . . , . the children, a i ; Archaid .. lady tells me thai • Conner • long ago, when ; 'ityisw-i-'-''/.\-CZ, sll,? was Perhaps J Jive years old, slit i Ward some little ones of her acquaint- I auce talking of how tiny hung up | their stockings by the fireplace and j Santa Claus came down the chimney in | | the night and put gifts for eaJ ment or Card (y ) an advert isemeii lor your satisfaction to yoi: New Type, lew Presses, ~ Best Paper, Stilled fort " Preeliess -111 you can ask i i A trial will mab you our customei We respectfully asl that trial. No. ii H. Mahoning *t. I?.*'.