RAILROAD TIME TABLKS
Pens"A K. K.
KAST. WEST
7.13 A.M. tf.l4 A. M.
10.17 '• 12 I • P-.M
--2.21 P. M. ■»-oS "
t>.U» " 7 -51 "
SUNDAYS.
1U.17 A. M. 4.5.1 I'. M.
It. li. <fc \V. K. K.
EAHT. W KsT.
A. M. #•<*» A. M.
10.19 " 12.17 P. M.
2.11 P. M. "
tUU " 8-20 "
SUNDAYS
6.58 A.M. 12.17 P M
(Utt P. M. S3l
PHI LA. <l READING R. R.
NORTH. sol* Tll.
7.82 A. M. 11.35 A. M.
4.UU P. M.!'• M.
BLOOM STRKKT.
7.84 A.M. 11.2:1 A. M.
4.U2 P. M. »'-» I P. M.
OK. J. SWKIHUIKI,
SURGEON DENTIST.'
Ornoion .Mill ST., <>p|«<>sit«* the Post Oltioe.
Operative unit Mechanical I >entistry i 'arofully
peiiortned, Teeth positively extracted without
pain,with Mas, Ether afnl Chloroform: Treat
ing anil Filllnn teeth aStiecliiltv.
-yy-Jl. KANE WKNT,
ATTORNE Y-AT-L A W,
Office over Paules' Drug Store
MONTGOMERY BP 1L Ul NO,
LL STREET - - DANVILLE, PA
J. J. BROWN,
THE EYE A SPECIALTY
Eyes tested, treated, titted with glass
es and artificial eyes supplied.
all Market Street, Bloomsburg, Pa.
Hours —10 a. in.to .*» p. m.
Telephone 1436.
CHOICE MISCELLANY
Photography In Fog.
of photography In a fog
Bounds like a cutting from a comic
paper father than a serious scientific
fact, but It Is a scientific fact none the
less, says the New York Journal, and
the man who Is conducting investiga
tions In this peculiar line of photogra
phy Is the shrewd, energetic ruler of
the German empire.
Quite recently the kaiser has been
steaming about In the Baltic on his
yacht, ostensibly on pleasure bent, but
la reality with a far different object.
He was accompanied by two men
•whose skill with the camera nnd
,whose knowledge of its construction
are unequaled, and the result of that
Httle trip will be the beginning of im
portant developments in connection
.with the navy and merchant service
of Oermnnr, if not of other countries.
By means of a specially constructed
camera the kaiser's friends succeeded
In obtaining clear and distinct photo
graphs of vessels and of the coast line
when those objects were a mile off
and both the photographer and the
photographed were enveloped in a
thick fog. This wonderful result was
obtained with un exposure of two sec
onds only.
The necessary complement to the
camera is an apparatus that will en
able the operator to develop his pic
ture In a few seconds so that it can
be thrown on a screen. The perfection
of this apparatus is now engaging the
attention of the two scientific men,
the expenses being paid by the Her
man government.
vessels in a fog could take
etrens In preventing collisions.
aJoctom' "Cat Njips,"
The "cat naps" indulged in by the
late Dr. William Pepper constituted a
standing joke among his intimate
friends. He had the faculty of g- ;ng
to sleep at will and waking up when he
willed. He would sometimes when un
der a mental strain keep a roomful of
patients waiting while he slept soundly
In his private office for three minutes
or five minutes, or as long as he wish
ed. Then he would resume his duties,
greatly refreshed.
Another prominent physician has a
queer habit of napping, although lie
only takes one a day anil that directly
after luncheon, which with him is a
hearty meal. He repairs to his office
and throws himself in a chair at a
poi iit where the polished wood lloor is
not covered by the rug. He holds a
bunch of keys between the forefinger
and thumb of his right, hand, which is
allowed to hang loosely over the arm of
the chair. Then he dozes off, but it is
never more than a doze, for the mo
ment his fingers relax the keys drop to
the bare floor, acting as an alarm clock.
It ia scarcely a nap -just a brief re
laxation of the mental and bodily
faculties. The doctor calls it his siesta,
and if he misses it lie says he doesn't
feel quite himself for the rest of the
day.—Philadelphia Record.
Driveway of Twenty Miles.
Even New \orkers have, as a gen
eral thing, little idea of the change
that Is coining over New York In re
spect to Its external appearance. The
Improvement that has been wrought
by the great system of beautifully pav
ed streets and the cutting through of
parkways and driveways Is unknown
to most, of our people. I wonder how
many there are who know that, with
the finishing of the viaduct across
Manhattan valley at Riverside drive,
we have practically completed a 2C
mile driveway. As soon as the new
avenue that is to connect this viaduct
with the French boulevard to the north
of One Hundred and Twenty-fifth
street has been finished there will be a
continuous stretch of roadway from
Seventy-second street and Central park
Xo Oue Hundred and Tenth street, to
Riverside drive, to the viaduct, to the
French boulevard, to itykeman street,
to the speedway, to St. Nicholas ave
nue and back to the park. This beau
tiful drive, nearly 2U miles long, la
lined for almost its entire length with
•handsome dwellings, and the pave
ment is the most perfect in the world.—
New York Letter.
Nevr.miik nnd rats constitute a bal
fcneed .-ration r for the barn cats. See
Jhat they have the milk If you want
them to catch the rats.
Well, there is this comfort anyhow
good crops almost always grow w here
the bad roads are. It is easy to have
good roads on poor soils.
Skunks do not hibernate as do beam,
but will come out of their dens on the
river bank during the milder days of
the winter In search of food.
We came across a small western
town lately where a creamery made
butter to the value of fsii.tmn e ich
v««ar Tliht eoi • in v.-(! j rleh
For Female Complaints,
and diseases arising from an impure
state of the blood Lichtv's (Vlery Nerve
Compound is an invaluable specific Sold
by Rossman & Son's Pharmacy.
KEPT TALLY ON FIBS.
THE ASTONISHING RKfeULT OF ONL»
ONE DAY OF COUNTING.
An In\ fti iiK« to»'» Itlnpovepy »( What
an l'jiioriiiouM Iloiu|iit-t of tlic Flow*,
ors of Futile Adorns (lie Dully
Speech of the Averunf Mortal.
"Do you know that the average Amer
ican is a hopeless and incorrigible and
unmitigated liar?" said an amateur
cynic of Baronne street. "I don't mean
he lies viciously, but suave mendacity
glides off the end of his tongue as eas
ily as molasses flows from a spigot on
a warm day in summer, lie does it un
consciously. habitually, automatically
—just as his lungs expand and his
heart palpitates and his hair grows,
without any special attention from the
rest of his system, lie does it because
lie can't help it. The thing has become
a second nature.
"I had ail this brought home to me,"
continued the amateur cynic, "by a
very simple little experiment which 1
tried 011 myself and a few others no
longer ago than yesterday morning.
I»id you ever see a pocket counting ma
chine? Well, it's a little device shaped
like a watch. Whenever you press the
stem the needle on the dial jumps a
point, and it registers in that way up
to several thousand on the principle ol
a cyclometer. They are used by any
body making long counts and are very
handy, because they never forget where
they leave off.
"iiut, to come to the point, some
thing happened to remind me of our
national vice of untruthfulness as I
was getting up yesterday, and I deter
mined to 'keep tab' 011 myself and as
certain, if possible, how many actual,
out and out lies I put into circulation
in the course of the day. I chanced to
have one of the little counting ma
chines I have just mentioned, so 1 slip
ped it into my pocket and started out.
"The first lie I told was right at the
door. Smithson was passing and stop
ped to shake hands. 'Hello, old man!'
said I. 'Delighted to see you,' when as
a matter of fact I was deuced sorry tu
see him, because I owe him ten. 1
gave the counter a squeeze and hur
ried on, but before I got to the ofliee 1
had jogged it nine times.
"What did I jog it for, did you askl
Oh, trivialities, mere trivialities, but &1
the same time point blank lies, everj
one of 'em. Whenever I opened mj
mouth out dropped some confounded
hyperbole. I told Jones the Joke he in
sisted in springing on me was the 'besl
I ever heard' and then made a doubh
tally in assuring his wife she was look
ing remarkably well when she was
looking exactly like a scarecrow. 1
told another friend I never laughed sc
much in my life as I had at somethlnf
or other, I don't remember now what
and still another that I hadn't slept 112
wink for three nights when 1 had neu
ralgia lately—all lies, bald lies, in spit*
of their harmlessness.
"When I reached the office and look
ed at the dial, 1 was horrified. 'Goot
heavens!' I said to myself. 'lt seemi
to be physically Impossible for me t<
speak the plain truth in the paltries
matters. I'll just remain perfectly
quiet for half an hour and keep eheel
on Boggs.'
"Hoggs is our head bookkeeper anc
a. pillar in one of the suburban church
es," continued the amateur cynic. "Hi
wears rubber overshoes in wet weath
er, cultivates sandy side whiskers, car
ries a gingham umbrella, belongs to i
bpilffinr and loan association and ha
quintessence of cast iron veracity, bu
when I sat down in cold blood to pn
him 011 record I was astounded at tb
blase fashion with which he frivolei
with the truth. I pushed the buttoi
on him 15 times in 27 minutes; then h
got into a whispered conversation witl
a caller, and I lost the thread of hi:
remarks. But I am certain if I ha<
been in earshot the counter would hav
had hard work keeping up with tin
procession.
"That relieved my mind somewhat
and later 011, when I made a quiet tes
of several of the other fellows In tin
office, I came to the conclusion that
was no worse than the average, but tin
average was pretty tough. As far ai
my investigations went, the invoici
clerk held the record. He is a guileles:
sort of chap, with modest manners am
a freckled nose, and I never supposec
he bad any imagination concealed b
his pug topped cranium, but he forcet
me to push the indicator up exactly 2'.
times in 15 minutes. During the las
part of the stretch, however, he wai
trying to trade off a secondhand blcy
cle, and that naturally swelled there
turns.
"Of course I soon realized that tin
idea of keeping count on my owu men
dacity was entirely impractical anc
abandoned the effort, but the othei
data has furnished me with abundanl
food for thought. My brother-in-law
by the way, insists that we woulc
make a great mistake in trying t<
weed these flowers of fable out of oui
daily speech. He says we lie contluu
ally and systematically because every
body else lies, and a man who woul<]
(Start out to tell the plain, cold, raw
rectangular truth about everything lr
life would be little better than an an
archist. He would upset all establish
ed standards of value and make It nec
essarv almost to recast the language
Besides, nobody would believe him
But my brother-in-law is a doctor,"
added the amateur cynic thoughtfully
"and maybe that makes a difference.'
—New Orleans Times-Democrat.
ChlnMe F.ra.
The "Chinese era" begins R. C. 2097,
with the accession o( the Emperor Yao,
who first devised a calendar for the
Chinese dividing the year into 365 days
with an extra day every fourth year.
A Cane Lincoln Would Xot Take.
All clients knew that, with "Old
Abe" as their lawyer, they would win
their case—if it was fair; If not, that it
was a waste of time to take it to him.
After listening some time one day to a
would be client's statement, with his
eyes on the celling, he swung suddenly
round in his chair and exclaimed:
"Well, you have a pretty good case
In technical law, but a pretty bad one
In equity and justice. You'll have to
get some other fellow to wlu this case
for you. I couldn't do it. Ail the time,
while standing talking to that Jury, I'd
be thinking, 'Lincoln, you're a liar,' and
1 believe I should forget myself and
say it out loud."—Success.
The Spring Fever
is a malady which no one can escape
at this season of the year. The vitality
is usually overtaxed during the winter
months, and spring finds the system all
run down. The blood is thinned and
impure. The kidneys and liver are in
active resulting in a loss of energy and
appetite, and a derangement of the
nerves. Liehty's Celery Nerve Com
pound will purify your blood, tone up
your nerves, and leave you feeliug fresh
and energetic. Sold by Kossman &
Son's Pharmacy.
PUZZLED THE JEWELER.
He "Wanted a Second Hand Watch
and Finally Cot It.
He was evidently a foreigner, and be
walked into one of the big Jewelry
bouses on F street and asked for a
watch. He would be pleased to exam
ine some "second band watches,' be
eaid to the clerk wbo advanced to meet
him.
"This isn't a pawnshop," observed
the clerk haughtily.
"No?" observed the man inquiring'
"But you have watches?" »« 1 In* point
ed to the great showcase 1..a > : hand
some watches.
"Certainly," replied the clerk. "Fin
est stock of watches in the city. llow
much do you waut to pay for a watch?"
"How mooch?" asked tbe stranger.
"Mooch as be is worth, so that be suits
me. I have said that 1 desire a second
hand watch—a good one that shall keep
the time."
"See here, sir; you are off your base.
We don't keep secondhand goods. You
will have to hunt elsewhere for second
hand watches."
Tbe stranger's eyes opened wide.
"But you have him there, aud there
and there," he said as he began to ges
ticulate. "I have said s-e-c-o n-d h-a-n-d
watches," spelling It as though to make
it plainer, "and they are here, every
where, yet you say you have them not.
I do not comprehend you."
"Well, I do you," replied the clerk
sheepishly as he quickly got behind the
counter. "Just a little mix up. No
harm done, 1 hope. Certainly we have
watches with second hands. All our
watches have second bands. We han
dle no others." And the stranger got
his second hand watch, for which he
laid down a S".O blll.-Washingtou Star.
Tkc Athenian of Today*
The Athenians dine late the ye«i
round and, whenever the weather Will
permit, In the open air. As the heated
season advances the dinner hour la set
later and later until In August 9:30 oi
10 becomes the common thing. Fancy
going to the theater after that! Yel
the open air performances are liberallj
patronized, and they do not begin, ol
Course, until after dinner. The legend
"Curtain rises promptly at 9" Is I
snare and a delusion, as many a for
elgner has found, to his extreme on
noyance.
The out of door dining and the skj
roofed theaters are so typically Greel
that they serve as a link between mod
ern and classical times. The old Greek
as everybody knows, was an outdooi
man, his house serving as little mori
than a sleeping place and storeroom
The Athenian of today dines In a gar
den, on his terrace or In a park. If hi
Is too poor to possess any of these ac
cessories, he sets his table upon thi
sidewalk. Many of the cheap restau
rants appropriate the walks for dininj
rooms. One Is often compelled whei
taking an evening stroll to dodge li
and out among dozens of tables cover
ed with reasonably clean linen am
lighted by means of candles, whos
flames are protected from the wind b;
means of glass globes.—Scrlbner's.
A Serious Offense.
Not long since an American reslden
of Hamburg had an amusing experl
ence of the seriousness of German offl
claldom.
Her pug puppy barked friskily on
evening from his place In the front gai
den at a semi-intoxicated custom hous
officer who leaned agalust tbe palings.
The next morning a ponderous doci
rnent was presented to the owne
UIO UUS uuvu.u ■*«. Mvy. -
the house under a penalty of $25 unt
the official veterinarian should pre
nounce upon his condition.
For ten days poor puggy was kept 1
the house before the state official foum
It convenient to call, and he was thei
bravely freed from his durance, as th
Inspector found him not suffering froc
hydrophobia nor in danger of bltlng.-
Phlladelphla Press.
Poking Pan tU Chirac*.
The capture of an eugle In Chlcagt
recalls attention to that city's vast ex
pause. It Is rumored that severa
large herds of bisou are still at larg<
In the northern wards, while traces o
living mammoths and remains of a com
paratively recent dodo's nest have beei
reported from the Jungles of the fa:
south. This spring will probably se<
the setting out of several hunting par
ties after '*blg game," while a scien
tlflc exploring expedition in search o
the traditional mountains of the mooi
Is contemplated.—New York Tribune.
A Point at I*an«.
Several of the lawyers had told thei
stories, some of which ridiculed tin
continued use of legal verbiage and thi
absurd lengths to which members o:
the profession sometimes go In takinj
advantage of technicalities.
"A rank outsider," announced thi
member of the profession who ha<
been a good listener, "a client of mine
supplied the best instance of literal In
terpretation that ever came to mj
knowledge. He was executor under i
will that, among other provisions, re
quired the payment of an annuity to i
venerable aunt of the testator. Bu
proof of her being alive mus. be madi
before each payment, and this Is tin
rock on which the executor struck.
"The old lady proved herself In th<
flesh, drew her money and went to Cal
lfornla, where she spent two yean
without putting In her claim. On hei
return she went in person and demand
ed the double allowance due her.
"The conscientious executor got ou
the will, studied it, scratched his heac
and finally handed down his opinion:
" 'Madam, you are alive now. Then
can be no reasonable question as t<
that, for I have the conclusive evidenc*
of my own eyes. But 1 am possessed
of no legal proof that you were alive £
year ago. 1 am, as you know, withii
the restrictions of the will. I will paj
the annuity for this year, but must in
sist upon satisfactory affidavits tlia
you were not dead when the precedint
annuity was passed.'
"It took me the better part of a da}
to convince him that he should setth
in full."—Detroit Free Press.
Doeaa't Conut For Mack.
"Lovely wedding, wasn't It?" risked
the maid of honor.
"Quite so," admitted the bride's dear
est enemy.
"Every detail perfect," suggested the
maid of honor.
"Oh, I don't know. We might make
an exception of tbe groom, don't you
think?"
"Oh, possibly, possibly," admitted tbe
maid of honor, "but that's a minor de
tail, anyway."—Chicago Post.
Wheu You Get A Headache
don't waste a minute but goto yonr
druggist and get a box of Kranse's
Headache Capsules. They will prevent
pain, even though your skull were
cracked. They are harmless. too.
Reed the guarantee. Price 25c. Sold by
Rossman & Son's Pharmacy.
FACTS IN FEW LINES
England seems to have captured the
major part of the trade of Ecuador.
Professional cyclists made over SIOO •
000 iu prize money during the past
year.
Egypt exported last year 65,000 tons
of sugar, 55,300 tons of which came to
America.
There are several large factories In
the United States devoted to the man
ufacture of rose water.
Altogether about 60,000 American
animals have been purchased for the
British army In Africa.
| Japan still has coins made of iron.
They may be defined as the metallic
I Bhluplasters of the realm.
The illiterate nations are chiefly
Russia, Spain, Turkey and the un
progressive nations of the orient and
of South America.
Canada will have a building at the
Pan-American exposition and make a
comprehensive display of the country's
great resources and industries.
Foreign exports at New Orleans last
year reached a total of $ 142, CM >O,OOO, the
largest on record and an increase over
the previous year of $45,000,000.
It is predicted that the triumphal
bridge at the Pan-American exposition
I will surpass in beauty the great Alex
' under bridge at the Paris exposition.
| The total yield of the catch of fish
j In Canada last year was $21,891,700,
being an Increase of about $2,200,000
over the catch of the preceding year.
The city of Bombay, India, has a
Sorosis club, composed of Hindoo,
Parsee and Mohammedan women. The
club motto is, "The World Was Made
For Women Also."
An automobile and an express train
| In Italy had a race of 44 miles going
out from Rome. The automobile was
! the winner, though It was considerably
j Impeded by traffic.
The deaths are announced of two
Irish centenarians, one, a man named
Alex Gordon, at Cookstown, County
j Tyrone, aged 101 years, and the other,
a woman named O'Doherty, at Dra
-1 perstown, County Derry, aged 107.
The most vicious looking weapon on
i record has been unearthed iu New Or-
I leans. It Is a combination of a re
volver, a row of ugly brass knuckles
! and a dirk knife, all In one and each
built for the transaction of business.
A fiber company of Lockport, N. Y.,
Is preparing to manufacture gun stocks
of fiber with a view to lightening the
weight of the present rifle. The ord
nance officers on duty at Sprlugfield,
Mass., will supervise the manufacture.
Cattlemen are considering the ad
visability of reseeding the Black Hills
and eastern Wyoming ranges, where
j native grass has been nearly killed by
j overcrowding of cattle. It has been
' found that five grasses and two alfal-
I fas will grow lu that section without
| Irrigation.
According to statistics Just published,
the population of Greenland at the end
of 1899 numbered 5,174 males and 5,800
females, together 10,974 souls. Since
1898 the population has increased by
08. The number of births was 465 and
of deaths 3t',3. Of 37 fatal accidents 21
were caused by drowning.
Professor Robert Gersung, nn emi
nent surgeon of Austria, is credited
with an Important discovery In the
scientific world. It consists of the
use of a mixture of paraffin and vase
line In curing physical deformities and
filling in cavities caused by the re
moval of portions of bones.
Rerrleu county, Mich., on the rec
' nrrt Of 1900. claims to be the greatest
The numner or acres cultivated last
year was 4,753, and the total yield of
peaches was 140,992 bushels, being
more than half the entire Michigan
crop. Van Buren county came next
with 58,887 bushels.
The schools of Vienna are to have
medical attention. There the board of
education Is considering the appoint
ment of a staff of medical school In
spectors. It Is proposed that the du
ties of these officials shall Include
periodical Inspections of the schools,
which shall be more frequent during
contagious epidemics.
Colored people are still willing to
brave the disadvantage of emigration
to Monrovia, in West Africa. Only re
cently 16 adventurous members of the
race sailed from New York for that
country, where land will be given them
by the Liberlan Colonial society of
Birmingham, Ala. More of them con
template going to Liberia within a few
weeks.
Large deposits of magneslc have
been found lu southern ludia, and the
officers of a Portland cement works
at Madras have succeeded In producing
a white cement plaster which has mag
nesium for a basis. This cement can
be used for plastering walls and dries
BO speedily that rooms are ready for
occupancy within 48 hours. It can be
painted or else colored by mixing col
oring matter.
The Germans are claiming that, lu
spite of all our boasting, they are in
creasing their production of pig Iron
faster than the United States. This
seems to be the fact The German
output of pig iron the past year was
8,351,742 tons, representing an increase
of 75 per cent since 1890. The United
States output last year was 13,789,2-i2
tons, representing an Increase of 50
per cent since 1890.
Near Rio Grande City, Tex., an im
me use deposit of an unknown gaseous
lubstauce has been discovered. Piece*
of it ignite quickly and give out a
strong flame which lasts for a re
markably long period. It is said by
scientists that the substance is either
an unknown mineral or ordinary clay
highly charged with natural gas. In
either case the value of the deposit as
fuel is Immense, as It covers many
thousands of acres and is of Immense
lepth.
Five llnndrrd Dollar* For m, Wom
an's Life.
Judge Hayden of Akron, 0., in sus
taining a verdict of ssou against a rail
way company for a woman's life In
spite of the fact that SIO,OOO was
awarded for a man's life lost In the
came wreck, says that the life of a wo
man under ordinary circumstances can
not be as valuable as the life of a man,
that the man lu question was ablebod
led and earning good wages for a
young wife and that the woman was
growing old and could not be of great
use. Advocates of equal rights for men
and womeu will be likely to criticise
this decision.— Boston Globe.
He Is A Wonder.
All who see Mr. C. F. Collier, of Cher
okee, lowa, as he is now, cheerful, erect,
vigorous, without an ache, could harldy
believe he is the same man, who, a short
time ago, had to sit in a chair, propped
up by cushions, suffering intensely from
an aching back, in agony if he tried to
utoop all caused by chronic kidney
tVhuble, that no medicine helped till he
used Electric Bitters anil was wholly
cured by three bottles. Positively cures
litydcache. Nervousness. Loss of Appe
tiW. all Kidney troubles. Only 50c at
Paules & Co's drug store.
TROUBLE IN THE OFFICE.
It Wa» Canned by tbe Rditor'i C'o
nii n<l ram.
"Why is .1 woman like an umbrella?"
asked the exchange editor.
"Because she's made of ribs and at
tached to a stick," replied the in forma
tiou editor. "Why is" —
"Wrong. Guess again."
"Because she always has to be shut
up when"—
"Naw! You fatigue me."
"Because she stands in the hall
ami"—
"Naw! It's nothing about standing
iu the hall."
"A woman is like an umbrella be
cause nobody ever gets the right one.
Why is" -
"Ring off! That isn't the answer ei
ther."
"It's a better one than you've got."
"Don't you reckon I know whether it
is or not? Whose conundrum is this—
yours or mine?"
"Well, she's like an umbrella be
cause — It isn't because she fades with
age, is it?"
"l'ou ought to be ashamed of your
self."
"I am. Is it because you have to put
up when it's cloudy and threatening-
No; that can't be it. Because she's a
good thing to have in the house. \\ hy
Is"—
"You're not within four counties of
it."
"Because you can't find any pocket
in either. Why is"—
"No choice. Vote again."
"I won't. A woman isn't like an um
brella. There is not the slightest re
semblance. You goon with your work
and let me alone."
"I knew you couldn't guess it. It's
because she's accustomed to reign."
Then the information editoi rose in
his wrath, and they were only pre
vented from doing mischief to each
other by prompt—and wholly unex
pected—work on the part of the labor
editor.—Chicago Tribune.
Prepared to fin,
"Now, John," his wife said, gently
pressing him back when lie tried to get
up, "you must stay in bed today. I've
telephoned for the doctor, and he's
coining right over."
"All right," he submissively replied
as she threw his trousers out of reach,
"you'll find my will and the insurance
policies and so forth in that little tin
box in the third drawer of my desk."—
I Chicago Times-Herald.
Precept and Example,
"When you find yourself admitting a
slang word or phrase into your vocabu
lary, young ladies and gentlemen,"
earnestly exhorted the professor of
rhetoric, "cut it out."
Bless his old heart! He thought he
was merely using a striking and ex
pressive figure of speech. Chicago
Tribune.
Jimt I.lke n Policeman.
"What's the charge?" asked the
judge.
"Impersonating an officer," answered
the prosecutor.
"What was he doing?"
"I saw him helping himself to fruit
and peanuts from a street vender's
stand."—Chicago Tost
1 IndlMpennnltle t'nder Clrcumntnnees.
j font)
be presented.
Mother of Intended Candidate (in
perturbed whisper to husband)— There!
I knew we had forgotten something,
Archibald. Run home quick and fetch
the baby,—Boston Courier.
Ail Affront to Cupid.
"Daughter, what makes you look so
serious?"
"Well, pa, what would you think of
a young man who took advantage of
Lent to drop from his customary $1
box of caramels to a f> cent bag of pea
nuts?"— Detroit Free Press.
CIIIMNIC.
He—Which do you prefer, Homer or
Virgil?
She—Virgil.
He-Why?
She—Didn't he begin the ".Enid"
with something about arms and the
man?— Syracuse Herald.
An Artful Ileiccar,
Miss Believe—Beggars are all frauds.
I met a blind man yesterday who said,
"Please gimme a penny or two, lovely
lady."
Miss Behave—Yes. He said that to
make you think he was really blind.—
Chicago Chronicle.
Popular Sons.
"Only :i soldier in the 'ranks.' "—Chi
cago News.
She Says.
The girl at the stationery counter was
talking to the girl from the necktie coun
ter.
"I told him, I says, 'Now, look here,'
I says, 'what's the use,' I says, 'of talk-
In unless you've got soniethiu to say?'
I says. 'I don't like to hear a man
Bhootin off his mouth,' I says, 'just to
Lear himself talk,' 1 says. 'Some peo
ple,' I says, 'are built that way,' I says,
'and they'll stand and gab at you,' I
says, 'till they talk the arm off you,' I
Bays, 'and after they've got through,' I
says, 'you don't know what they've bf'eu
gnbhin about,' 1 says. 'I ain't got any
use,' I says, 'for those kind of people,'
I says, 'and what's more,' I says, '1 ain't
afraid to tell 'em so,' I says."
"What did lie say to that?"
"He didn't say anything, the slob! I
didn't give hint u chance."—Chicago
Tribune.
Fought For His Life.
"My father and sister both died uf
Consumption," writes J. T. Weather
wax, of Wyandotte, Mich., "and I was
saved from the sain j frightful fate only
by Dr King's New Discovery. An at
tack of Pneumonia left an obstinate
cough and very severe lung trouble,
which an excellent doctor conld not
help, but a few months' use of this won
derful medicine made me as well as
ever and I gained much in weight. " In
fallible for Coughs, Colds *uid all Throat
and Lung trouble. Guaranteed bottles
50c and SI.OO at Panics & Co s drug
store. Trial bottles free.
WHAT MODERN SAILORS FEAR
I\«.L Winds and *»< bat MII Kspio-
Hion \\ lii«*h Sciillles t »i«- Ship.
"I'.oilcr exclusions are tin- terror of
tin* seafaring 111:111," said ail old time* |
dei'ii water captain. "Such a tiling is!
I>u< 1 enough on dry land. Out imagine a
catastrophe of that kind at sea. In '
ninety-nine eases out of a hundred it j
means the absolute wiping out of the)
craft itself and every soul on hoard.
"The average landsman would be
greatly shocked in looking over the
maritime records to see how many ves- j
sets disappear ea< h year and leave
absolutely no clew to their fate. They
run well up to the hundred mark, and
such a mystery is not to be explained
away by storms. A Chinese typhoon j
may swoop down like lightning out of
a clear sky and tear a ship to pieces,
but some floating wreckage is sure to
tell the tale. A boiler explosion, on the
contrary, will blow a hole as big a - a
railroad tunnel right through the cent* r
of the hull, and the stricken vessel
simply goes down like a shot. There
is no time to unfasten a boat from the.
davits or cut loose a spar.
"In the opinion of seamen, that is j
the story of at least 00 per cent of the
ships that leave port and are never |
heard of again. Luckily the modern
system of marine boiler inspection ■
is extremely strict and thorough, but it j
is impossible to absolutely prevent j
carelessness and fraud, and often :
enough, no doubt, the fault lies with
the engineer.
"There is an old story of a drunken
Scotchman who mistook the ther
mometer for the steam gage and 'cuss
ed out' the stokers because he couldn't
get the pressure above 80. That yarn
will hardly hold water, but I've seen
cases almost as bad. I am glad to say,
however, that during the past 10 years
there has been a steady diminution of
the number of vessels which 'mys
teriously disappear.' That is due, be
yond all question, to the increased
stringency of boiler inspection and the
greater strictness of examinations be
fore a license is issued to engineers.
Nevertheless there is still considerable
room for improvement in both
branches."—New Orleans Times-Demo
crat.
SEVEN DEVELOPED
GOLD MINES.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦*♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
60 ACRES OF GOLD ORE.
THE ARENA
Gold Mining & Milling Company
CRIPPLE CREEK, COLORADO.
This Property is Estimated to be now Worth More thai
SIO,OOO per Acre and will be Worth over One Hundred
Thousand Dollars per Acre,with Proper Development
CAPITAL STOCK, $1,000,000.
Divided into Shares of'Sl.oo Each, Full Paid and Non-Assessable.
The Arena Company offers 50,000 Shares at 50 cents eacl
in a Property that is Worth over $600,000.
Kor the purpose of raising money to purchase t he necessary machinery
a> make the mines produce daily fully Three Thousand Dollars in Gold,
— Lo theshares he lieUdw
You can buy any number of Shares you Wish,
and make more money I linn can he made in any other line of investment. The gold ore is ii
these seven developed mines. There are .'f.OUO feet of ore in a vein, and these veins are tru
mother veins, held within walls of granite, placed there hv nature. The Company liasalread
developed this property to demonstrate that it is one of the largest gold properties of th"
< 'ripple Creek liistrict which is the greatest gold-producing camp on earth, its output las
year aggregating riM.ooo.iKHi or nearly double the amount produced in the whole State of Call
tornia.
At 50 cents per share tiie Company is giving you a discount of 10 cents per Share to star
with, making 20 cents on the dollar. As already stated, tiiis is done for the purposeof rais
log 425*000 to purchase improved machinery, air-compressor drills, and electric plant. Wi
have two large hoisting engines on this property,a commodious shaft-house,office buildings
boarding house for the men. stables, a powder-house, a large quantity of tools, etc. There
ports on these mines, made by one of the best mining engineers In t tie State, succinctly de
scribe these improvements.
NAMES OF MINKS.
A/.TKC, -'Hi feet in depth, with shaft-house, boiler and engine for hoisting, well timbered a 1
the way down.
HoN l>ll( >l,l>Klt, SMI feet deep, hoisting engine and boiler, large iron shaft-house.
MKXIt 11 and IVIA Nll A I PAN, hoth on,*r UlO feet deep, on same vein as the A/tec mine.
CIO ST A 1., .1 ASI'KH and (JHKAT KANTKRN. on the same \ ein as the Bondholder and open
ed in depth to over 10(1 feet, and developments a I ready made show over 4,000 feet of ore.
If you want to make money out of nature, become a producer of gold out of her treasure
vaults. The Arena group of mines will do it for you.
We can furnish the best of references bank and mining engineers—and our title in tin
property is perfect, coming, as it does through a patent from the (ioverment. With more im
proved machinery, from S:i,OUU to 95.000 per day will lie a conservative estimate of the output
of tliese mines.
Remember that only 50,000 Shares of this Stock are for sale at 50 cents on the dollar,
Orders ior the number ol Shares desired, accompanied by Draft, Money Orders, Kxpress oi
Cash in Registered l.etters. can be sent to
The Arena Gold Mining & Milling Company,
501 Equitable Building, DENVER, COLORADO.
PLANING MILL?
HOOVER BROTHERS
MANUFACTURERS OF
Doors, Sash, Shutters, Verandas,
Brackets, Frames
and Turned Work of all Kinds.
Also Shingles, Roofing Slate, Planed and
Rough Lumber.
RIVERSIDE. NORT'D COUNTY.
r " r *
FOR FIBSULMEK ONLY CO 10
r%'.
j> W <<« Aik
Special atten \
lion given La- Mf A, jjft" '
dies Suits and ' 112, Delivery.
Waists, (icnufeg (iM\£
White r.mta- ]\W U''Jfi
loons and Vests. J
lK if ii jj tlflld for and
Repairing done EmmKftV
i i ide 1 ive u d free.
vviien ordered. 'T>
jZy \ ( " xt !
Danville Steam Laundry,
No. 20 Cana St Lore and kftsc? Pro
FUN FKOM YONKERS.
A Uiid»i«-t of JeatM l>iiarau(eed to Curt)
the Illut'S.
Mrs. Church—Does your girl stein to
want to stay in any one place long?
Mrs. Gothain—Oh, yes; she seeius to
prefer the parlor!
"I'm not worthy of your devotion,
George."
"Oh, I don't know! Your father's got
money, hasn't he?"
Patience—l felt so embarrassed. That
nice looking fellow with the blond mus
tache kept his eyes on me nearly the
whole evening.
I'atrice —Yes; he's a brain specialist.
The Brooklyn lady was showing her
little niece thmtovh the art gallery.
"Oh, look, auntie, at the woman with
out any arms!"
"Yes, dearie, that is an ancient god
dess."
"I didn't know they had trolley cars
in those days, auntie!"
She —You say you love the girl?"
He—Madly.
"And what does she say?"
"She asks me to learn to forget her."
"Well, that's easy."
"Oh, no, it's not!"
"All you have to do is to marry her."
Church—l understand the jury stood
11 to 1 in favor of acquittal at tirst.
Gotham—That's riiiht. We did.
"Well, how in the world did the 11
ever come around to think as the ont
man?"
"Well, you see, the fellow who was
alone for conviction knew the prisonei
pretty well, and he told us that the fel
low hail a lot of interesting children, ant
he was forever telling stories about theii
marvelous sayings, so we thought il
wouldn't hurt to lock him up for a few
weeks." —Yonkers Statesman.
When .1 raid is made upon a gam
bling house in Kausus, the furniture
seized must under the law be tried in
court and convicted before being de
stroyed, just as though it were a hu
man being. A case of that sort was
tried at Fort Scott a few days ago
when crap and poker tables, fine car
pets, chairs, etc., were taken to tbi
market place and burned.
DO Mil 112
llllfL
We wait to do all
Ms of Prating
112
fl r
i m i
ll'S 111.
II finite
lis ml '
[\l ""I
A well printed,
tasty, Bill or Let
\) / ter Head, Poster
A) A Ticket, Circular,
v*vr Program, State
ment or Card is
Iy ) an advertisement
for your business, a
j satisfaction to you.
net Type,
low Presses, ~
Best Paper,
Skilled fort, A
Proiptness
\ll you can ask.
A trial wili make
you our customer.
We respectfully ask
that trial.
iii b,
- ill
No. ii E. Mahoning St..
>
WE HAVE
Just received some of
the Newest things in
MILLINERY !
See the Roman and
Persian effects in
...Walking and Ontii Hals.,.
A beautiful selection of
".TRIMMED HATS.::
AT MEDIUM TRICES.
infill,
122 Mill Street.