KAILKOAD TIME TABLES
t'KNN'A K. K.
CAST.
7.13 A. M. A- M
-10.17 " 1 • M
:.«i 112. M.
(WW " • al
SUNDAYS
10.17 A.M. 158 P.M.
D. UJ£ W. K K.
EAST. WEST.
8.58 A. M. W?7 F' M*
10. la " *2."
2.H I'. M. „
«. 10 "
SUNDAYS.
8.5b A. M.
6. 10 I'. M. S3O
p MI/A it (HEADING R. K.
NOK ?H. JOUTH.
i u 11.25 A. M.
P M. 6.05 112. M.
BLOOM stkkkt
7.SIA.M, A.M.
4.t«2 P. M. 0 04
«-v u. j. MVVKIBKOKT,
BUR6EON DENTIST,
urrica on MILL ST., Opposite the Poet Office.
Operative and Mechanical nentlstry Carefully
oerlormed, Teeth positively extracted without
pain,with lias, Ether and Chloroform: Treat
in* aud Filling teeth aSiiecialtv.
hane
ATTO RN E V-AT- L A W,
Office over Paules' Drug Store
MONTOOMEKY BUILDING,
lIX STREET, - - DANVILLE, PA
J. J. BROWN.:
THE EYE A SPECIALTY.
Eyes tested, treated, fitted with glass
es and artificial eyes supplied.
811 Market Street, Bloomsburg, Pa.
Hours —10 a. m.to 5 p. in.
Telephone 14:115.
J 6 *" " WINGS. 1 '
Tie gods but half reluctantly
Grant us the gift of song;
Yet, tawny throat, they give to the*
Pure notes and pinions strong.
To those blue worlds that arch above
We look, aspire—and faii.
Thou, thou dost mount the skies we }ov.
The stars we never scale.
Thou knowest not, winged soul, the flrti
Of that old discord strange,
Tie vast and infinite desires.
The all too finite range.
So sing for us! Our throats are still.
And song no solace brings—
To whom the gods have given the will.
But not, alas, the wings!
—Arthur Stringer in Ainslce's Magazine.
When you are invited to a real old
fashioned woman's house for supper,
she always lias floating island. This is
a sure test.—Atchison Globe.
The temple of fame stands upon the
grave. The flame that burns upon its
altars is kindled from the ashes of
dead men.
Eiisy.
Benham-There isn't room here to
■wing a cat.
Mrs. Benham—Then we won't have a
cat.— Brooklyn Life.
Taken by Surprise.
* "That cousin of yours Is from Chica
go. isn't be?" asked the village post
master.
"Yes." replied Former Haycraft
"How d'ye know?"
"When he was In here yesterday and
asked if there was any mail for the
Haycrafts. 1 told him no. And then a
second later when he was turning
•way I said: 'llold up. There Is one
letter for them.' I noticed that when I
■aid 'Hold up' he threw up his hands
qulcker'n lightning."—Chicago Trib
une.
Poor Pay.
Dr. Pill—'That's the worst paying
family i ever attended.
Dr. Pellet—Yes; I once attended
them, but 1 never succeeded In getting
a penny out of them.
Dr. Pill-Well, I have had better
lack. I got a nickel out of one of the
children after It had nearly choked the
kid to death.—Exchange.
His DUik •Oik...
Teacher—Suppose you had one pound
of candy and gave two-thirds to your
little sister and one-fourth to your lit
tle brother, what would you have your
self?
Scholar—Well, I guess I'd have the
measles or something so's I wouldn't
fee! much like eating.—Puck.
Boarding Huudf Humor.
Landlady (threateningly) l'll give
you a piece of my mind one of thest
days if you're not careful.
Boarder—l guess I can stand it if it
Isn't any bigger than the piece of pie
you gave me.—Detroit Free Press.
Her Own Selection.
Through oceans of remnants and rib
bons the puffing big woman towed the
meek little man.
"What In the world shall I send her,
John?" she blustered. "Come, suggest
something that would please Aunt Bet
sy. Something Inexpensive. Why
don't you say something?"
"Stationery, books or workboxes,"
suggested the meek little man.
"Nothing of the kind. You couldn't
select a present for the ashman. I
will look at some of those fancy boxes
of soap."
They were before the soap counter.
And she had her finger on an elaborate
box containing six round cakes of
white «oap.
"Fancy and perfumed!" she sakl.
lifting a cake. "The very thing that
would please her the most. You may
wrap that up. miss"'
"But, my dear," protested the meek
little man.
"You Just keep quiet. I don't care
for any suggestions from a person
without taste."
"Really"—
"Keep quiet, John Tenbrook!"
It seemed as If her voice had pene
trated every corner of the great store,
and the little man shrank away in mor
tification.
• ••••**
"Well, Johu. what did she say about
the little gift? Something nice, I
know."
"She returned it."
"What?"
"Ye*; you will find a note in the box."
She unfolded the missive and read:
"Niece—l return the box of shaving
aoap. I am a little too old to appreciate
the Joke of being called the 'Bearded
Lady.' Vour Aunt Betsy."—Chicago
News.
Brought Good Fortune.
A small item in his own paper lately
brought Amazing good fortune to Editor
Chris KeiWtr. of the Saginaw (Mich.)
Post and Zejtttttjf. He and his family
'had the (irip in its worst form. Their
•doctor did them no good. Then he read
f-hatDr. King's New Diwovery fur Con
Hnmption. Cough* aurt Colds was a
jjnaj-iiuteed oar • for La Grippe aud a' l
'i'liroat aud Lung tro ibles; tried it aivl
**r* "Three brtles ft rod the whole
family.. No o her in di*ine on earth
finals it." Only "toe a id SI.OO at Paules .
Jk Cos droi' store Trial bottles free. '
HE WON IN A CANTER.
"LUCKY" BALDWIN MADE HISJOCKEY
RIDE SQUARE.
The Hornenian I <ted an Argument
Tlint Made the Crooked Rider'n
Teeth Chatter While He Got Ont
All the Speed In the Animal.
In the lobby of a hotel the other
evening a number of men were discuss
ing sports and sporting i ' e 1
subject of nerve and grit -
of the party, a well known Californian.
who knew "Lucky" Baldwin in the old
days, said:
"Baldwin was about the hardest man ;
to be chiseled out of anything he set '
his heart on getting that I ever met up
with. A whole lot of people tried to
put it on him in business and other sort
of deals, but none of these ever sue- (
ceeded in catching 'Lucky' Baldwin
sufficiently asleep to make their plans
stick.
"Horsemen still talk about a funny
game in which Baldwin figured on one
of the Chicago race tracks a number of
years ago. Baldwin had brought his
magnificent string of thoroughbreds to ;
Chicago to make an effort to annex the j
swell stakes that were then on tap on
the tracks in the windy town, and he j
got them home first or in the money in
many of the biggest events. Well, he I
had one of his finest horses entered in
a valuable long distance event, and i
Baldwin was particularly anxious to j
win this race, not so much for the I
purse end of it as for the glory of cap- j
turing the stake. Ilis horse just about j
figured to win, too, and Baldwin in- :
tended to 'go down the line' on the ani- '
mal's chances, not only at the track,
but at all of the big poolrooms in the |
country. He stood to clean up consid- j
crably more than SIOO,OOO on the horse j
if the brute got under the wire first. !
Baldwin's regular stable jockey was
taken sick on the morning of the race, ]
and the old man had to hustle around
for another boy to ride his horse in the '
big event. From another horseman lie
bought for a big round sum the release
of a high grade rider, who was to have
taken the mount on a thoroughbred
that didn't figure to get near the money
in the stake race. Baldwin gave the
jockey his instructions as to the way
he wanted the horse ridden, and then,
when the betting opened, his commis
sioners duinpeji Baldwin's money into
the ring in such large quantities that
the horse became an overwhelming fa
vorite.
"A quarter of an hour before the
horses were due togo to the post a
well known bookmaker, to whom Bald
win had often exhibited kindness in
less prosperous days, ran to where the
old man was standing, chewing a
straw, in his barn.
" 'Baldwin,' said the bookie to the
old man, 'there's a job to beat you. and
you're going to get beat. Tlicy wanted
me togo in with 'em, but you've al
ways been on the level with me, and I
wouldn't stand for it. The ring has
bought up your jock, and your horse
is going to be snatched.'
" 'Much obliged for teliiug me that,'
replied the old man. 'l'll just make a
stab to see that the boy doesn't do any
snatching, though.'
"Baldwin borrowed another gun
from one of his stable hands (in those
days he always carried one of his own
about as long as your aruj), and with
his artillery he strolled over the intield
and took up his stand by the fence
at the turn into the stretch. He hadn't
mentioned to anybody what he was go
ing to do, and the folks who saw the
old man making for the stretch turn
simply thought that Baldwin wanted
to watch the race from that point of
view. He did, for that matter, but lie
happened to have another end in view.
"Well, the horses got away from the
post in an even buncli, and then Bald
win's horse went out to make the run
ning. The jockey's idea was to race
the horse's head off and then pull him
in the stretch, making it appear as if
j the animal had tired. Baldwin had
instructed the Jock to play a waiting
game and make his bid toward the fin
i ish. The horse simply outclassed his
company, however, and he didn't show
I any indications of leg weariness what
l ever as he rounded the backstretch on
the rail a couple of lengths in front of
his field. Baldwin co:t!d see. however,
j that the crooked jock was sawing the
horse's head off in his effort to take
j liim back to the ruck. W'lieu tile horses,
i were tit HI a hundred feet from him.
Baldwin let otit a yell to attract his
jockey's attention, and then he flashed
his two guns in the sunlight and bawl
ed at the jock:
" 'Leggo that horse's head, you mon
key devil, and goon and win or I'll
shoot you so full of holes that you
won't hold molasses!'
"The jock gave one look at those two
guns that Baldwin was pointing
straight at liim. Then he gave Bald
win's horse his bead, sat down to ride
for all that was in him, and the horse
under liim cantered in ten lengths to
! the good on the bit. As long as 'Lucky*
Baldwin was on the eastern turf after
that no jockey ever tried to yank one
of his horses."—Washington Pout.
Am Awe Stricken Witneaa.
"1 weii remember," said a veteran
lawyer, "the trial of a case in which
Judge Henry T. Backus was doing
cross examining. Now, the judge was
noted for his lavish use of six footed
words, and he used frequently to
astound if not confuse an unprepared
witness with a plethora of high sound-
Hig phrases. The case I speak of was
tried In Sault Ste. Marie, and there
was a fcifriple, inoffensive Frenchman
on the witness stand. He understood
little of the attorney's profound inter
rogatories and gave his answers in a
confused and stammering way calcu
lated to ruffle the sweetest temper.
Finally the attorney paused in the mid
dle of liis cross examination and ob
jected because the answers of the wit
ness were not responsive. He was ad
vised by the court to couch his ques
tions In simpler language. Then Judge
Baekus, pointing his finger al the meek
looking witness and looking him
straight in tlie eye, thundered:
" 'Sir, I desire you to respond to my
interrogatories categorically and with
out prevarication or take the conse
quences!'
" 'Oh!' exclaimed the Frenchman, ris
ing fr<HU his chair in fear. 'Oh! \\ hat
dat?*
"Of course the incident convulsed the
spectators and the fc'ourf. and it was
some time before order was restored
and the case could proceed" —Detroit
Free Press.
A Deep Mystery.
It is a mystery why women endure
Backache, Headache, Nervousness,
Sleeplessness, Melancholy. Fainting and
Dizzy Spells when thousands have prov
ed that Electric. Bittern will quickly cure
such troubles. "I suffered for years
with kidney trouble," writes Mrs. Phebe
Cherley, of Peterson, la., "and a lame
back pained me so I could not dress my
self, but Electric Bitters wholly cured
me, and. although 78 years old, I now
am able to do all my housework." It
overcomes Constipation, improves Ap
petite, gives perfect health. Only r»Oc
at- Pji ales & Co's drug store.
HER SUMMONS CAME.
A SIGN IN WHICH MRS. GALLUP READ
HER DEATH WARRANT.
She Dropped the Dlxheloth and After
That Fatal Wnrnlnx Spent the Bal
ance of the KrenliiK In Telllnn Mr.
(•nllnp How She Thought He Ounht
to Run the Funeral.
[Copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.]
As Mr. Gallup lighted his tin lantern
after supper and started out to buy
half a pound of Rio coffee for break
fast and call at the postortice Mrs. Gal
lup was in excellent spirits and had
most of the dishes ready for washing,
lie was absent 32 minutes, and when
he arrived home he found her huddled
up in the big rocking chair, with a pil
low behind her head and the camphor
bottle in her hand. She took three long
sniffs at the bottle and gave three long
ilrawn sighs as lie entered, but it was
labor thrown away. Mr. Gallup blew
out his lantern and hung it up behind
the cellar door, and, having deposited
the coffee 011 a shelf in the pantry, he
removed and hung up his coat and hat,
sat down and took off his shoes and
then, taking a circular from his pock
et and putting on his glasses with
great deliberation, began to read. It
was a circular regarding a new discov
ery in the cure of consumption, and he
had not yet finished with the first tes
timonial when Mrs. Gallup sobbed four
times in succession and faintly asked:
"Samuel Gallup, do you know that
your dyin wife is present in the room?"
He made 110 reply. That testimonial
from one who had been cured after
his coffin had been purchased made
him hold his breath as he read.
"Yes; she is present," dolefully con
tinued Mrs. Gallup after several sniffs
HUDDLED UP IN' THE rtlO ROCKI.VO CHAIR.
at the bottle, "and she wants to hev a
few last words with you. When you
started over town, 1 was singin 'Bar
bara Allen' and tliinkin my days might
be long in this land. Not five minits
later the summons come. I had just
started to wash the dishes, and I had
that cracked blue platter in my hand,
but I hadn't gin it over two wipes
when the dishcloth fell to the floor
with a great spat. You are hearin
what I say, ain't you, Samuel?"
Mr. Gallup wasn't. He was devour
ing the second testimonial, which gave
the case of a woman who had been
given up by over 50 doctors, and yet
two bottles furnished her with a new
pair of lungs.
"When that dishcloth fell, I knew
that my time had come. That's the
way Mrs. Groyer and Mrs. Taylor
went. Their dishcloths fell, and in L' 4
hours they was in heaven. I shall be
up there by tomorrer night, Samuel,
while you'll be free to stay out all
night to hear the political news. I'd
hev died before you come back home,
only I wanted to talk with you a leetle
about the funeral. I.et's see. If I die
tonight, you'll hold the funeral day aft
er tomorrer, won't you, at 2 o'clock in
the afternoon?"
Mr. Gallup was listening to a noise
outside. He heard something to re
mind him of a hen trying to crow, and
he wondered if it could be that so long
after dark.
"If you want It a day sooner, you
can hev it," continued Mrs. Gallup
after sobs and gasps and sniffs at the
bottle, "but you must look out or tiie
nayburs will talk. Better hev it day
after tomorrer, and I hope, for your
sake, it won't be a rainy day. I've
sometimes thought I'd like a lug fu
neral when I went, with over 40 wag
ons in the purcession and the church
bell a-tollin and the dogs a-howlln, but
I've given that up. No. Samuel, you
needn't make any spread over me. I'm
one of the kind that kin goto heaven
without any hurrah and fireworks. If
there is ten wagons in the purcession,
I shall be satisfied. Don't you think
ten ought to be 'uuff for a person like
me?"
It wasn't a direct questiou, but had
It been Mr. Gallup would not have
answered. He was devouring the third
testimonial and making up his uiiud
to try a bottle on the sly.
"Ten wagons in the purcession, Sam
uel, and the bells needn't toll nor
nuthin else happen. If anybody is
diggin taters or inakin soft soap or
dyein carpet rags, they needn't stop on
my accouut. If 25 people come to the
house, that will be 'uuff. We've got
'leven chairs altogether, couutin them
with broken backs, and Mrs. Walters
will lend you the rest. You'll hev our
own preacher, of course, but he needn't
goon for an hour or two and tell hew
! good I was and how much you'll miss
I me. If he says that my toil is o'er, and
that you won't never find a more savin
wife, that'll be about 'nuff. Shall you
do any eryln at the funeral, Samuel'/"
No answer.
"I'd do a leetle bit if I was you—jest
a leetle. If you don't, 112 - 'II tall;
i about It same as tin. • t . .itu
Dewitt. He never em ; m all i.ul to
this day folks sa\ lie didn't t ■ li.in
ner right. I don't ai-l; you i- break
down and sob and git up an .le
nient, but you kin gasp a few , and
wipe your eyes and bluv.- your nose.
I'm sorry you'ii hev to take that long
ride to the graveyard, as you could be
piayin checkers or sunthln, but I don't
see how you are to git out of it. How
ever, you won't never liev togo up
there ag'in. When you git ready to
buy me a gravestun, you kin send it
up by a man. I s'pose you'll buy a
stun soniH wort, won't yon?''
Mr. Gallup didn't hear, in the fourth
testimonial a man declared that he had
been saved after one whole lung and
three-quarters of the other were gone,
audit was a sketch to thrill the reader
clear down to his toes.
"Of course 1 don't kocr about no
gravestun for myself," said Mrs. Gal
lup as she tried to wipe away her tears
with the glass stopper of the bottle,
"but if you don't put one up the nay
burs will call you stingy. (Jet a cheap
one, however. If you kin git one fur
$lO and trade a lot of carpet rags In,
I'd do It. I used to think I wanted a
whole lot of readln on my urn vest
Blowu To Atoms.
The" old idea that the body sometimes
needs a powerful, drastic, pursrative
[rill has been exploded for Dr. King s
New Life Pills, which are perfectly
harmless, gently stimulate liver and
V>o\vels to expul poisonous matter,
cleanse the system and absolutely cure
Constipation and Sick Headache. < hily
25c at Paules & Cos drug store.
but I ve chaiigeu my iumu.
on that Susan Gallup expired lu thu
forty-ninth year of her age of glneral
disability an<l that she has found rest
where asthma, boils, backaches and
rheumatiz cease from troublin. You
needn't say a word about makin 40
yards of rag carpet and a bar'l of soft
soap last year while enjoyin sore eyes
and a boil on my arm or that I alius
kept catnip, smartweed and pepper
mint herbs in the house and was a
nurse to all the nayburs. No, Samuel,
you needn't—say a word—about them
things. Make It—a cheap—gravestun,
and you needn't—never go up there—
and—and"—
And when Mr. Gallup had finished
the testimonials and fully determined
to buy at least three bottles and hide
them in the wood shed he rose up,
yawned and stretched and looked
around to find Mrs. Gallup asleep and
the camphor wasted on the tioor.
M. QUAD.
THERE WASN'T ANY ROW.
j
It Was Simply a Case of Spontnne
ovim CombuHtioii.
He was a very young man, almost
too young to be out on the street at
that time of the night, 8:30 p. in., and
liis general appearance indicated that
lie had been picked up by a cyclone
somewhere during his ineanderings.
He was not utterly demoralized, but
there was something in ins manner ;
that would load the close observer to
the conclusion that all had not been !
well with him.
"Gee!" he exclaimed as he spun '
around the corner and went bump into
a policeman.
"Hollo," ejaculated that worthy, in
stinctively grabbing at him; "what's
the row?"
"There wasn't any," responded the
youth.
"What are you running liko that
for?" persisted the policeman.
"I've just been up against a case of
spontaneous combustion."
"You look too green to burn," chuc
kled the bluecoat.
"It's on me, just the same. My girl
lives around the corner, and I went to
see her. 1 thought it was all"
"Where does the combustion come
in?" interrupted the officer.
"Come out, you mean," corrected the
youth.
"Come off!" exclaimed the officer.
"Tell me what the row is before I
chase you."
"Well, that's what I'm trying to do,"
pleaded the boy. "The girl's old man
and I don't harmonize a little bit, and
when he met me at the door lie fired
me so suddenly that 1 had vertigo. If
you don't call that spontaneous com
bustion, what the dickens do you call
it?"
"Oh. excuse me," apologized the po
liceman. "you run along home and get
into your trundle bed!" and the blue
coat gently wafted the remnant on its
way.—Detroit Free Press.
Woeful Ignorance.
Farmer—See here, you! You remem
ber putting two lightning rods on my
barn last spring, don't you? Well, that
barn was struck six weeks after and
burned down.
Peddler—Struck by lightnin?
"It was.''
"In the daytime?"
"Xo: at night."
"Must 'a' been a dark night, wasn't
It?"
"Yes; dark as pitch."
"Lanterns burnin?"
"What lanterns?"
"Didn't you run lanterns up 'em on
dark nights?"
"Never heard of anything like that."
"Well, if you don't know enough to
keep your lightnin rods showin you
needn't blame me. G-lang!" New
York Weekly.
RriKlil Little Sammy.
Sammy (who is never allowed to stay
out of schooli— Howdie Uurlburt didn't
come to school all day.
Mamma—Why not, Sammy?
Sammy—'Cause his mother died.
When you die, may 1 stay home all
day?
I Mamma—Yes, darling; you may stay
out a whole week.
Sammy (suspiciously)— Oh,l know!
You mean to die in vacation.—llarlem
Life.
The Conceited Peer.
A certain conceited nobleman once
observed to Charles Tjvvvnsend, "When
I happen to say a foolish tiling, I al
ways burst out a-laughing." Town
send eyed liim curiously and at length
remarked in the most deliberate man
-ner, "Ah, 1 envy you your happiness,
for-von must certainly live the merri
est life of say man in Europe."
l'OMtetl In Spite of the Utile.
Collector—l am afraid to present this
dun in person to Mr. Grump. Had we
not better forward It by mail?
Manager—Yes, but remember this is
the only instance where we will violate
our motto, "Post No Bills."—Ohio State
Journal.
The DiHliop Knew Him.
A story current about the Itishop of
London represents him as a bored lis
tener to a windy speech. Turning to a
fellow sufferer, he said, "Do you know
that speaker?"
"No." was the answer.
■*l do," said the bishop. "lie speaks
under many aliases, hut his name i 9
Thomas Hot."—London News.
The Other Wny,
He—Bertha, 1 am going to ask you a
i - !'r>n. a question which will have a
oct upon my life as you an
i swer it '• Mui dear, will you be a
sister t > '
SI: ( i ;• 1 can't do that, but I
will I ■ v Boston Transcript.
" re Appropriate.
Barber (;.i.-cntly)-Shampoo, sir?
Customer (with shining bald pate)—
No; shine.—Puck.
An With Other*.
She—Were you ever troubled with
dyspepsia?
He—Yes; that's the way It affects
me.— Yonkers Statesman.
In his better moments stormy Car
lyle used to say. "Kindness is the sum
of life, the charm to captivate and the
sword with which to conquer."
"1 have noticed." said the social phi
losopher. "that people who gossip about
their neighbors are the people who are
always fretting because they Imagine
they are being talked about by their
neighbors."- Omaha World Herald.
It Is safer to marry a thrifty woman
With only In cents than it is to wed a
vain belle with $13,000. Galveston
News.
It Girdles The Globe.
The fame of Bncklen's Arnica Salve,
as the'best in the world, ex ends round
the earth. It's the one perfect healer
of Cuts. Corns. Burns, 1 raises, Sores.
Scalds, Boi]s, I "leers. Felons. Aches,
Pains and all Skin Eruptions. Only in
fallible Filp cure. 250 a box at Failles
& Co s drug store. j
JACK TAR'S GROWL.
A Story Illustrating; the Sailor'«
llaltit of (•rumbling.
Tlie author of"From Edinburgh to
the Antarctic," writing of the sailor's
habit of grumbling, says: "Tl;e dinners
are all the same—that is to say, Mon
day's dinners are all alike, and what
we have today we shall have this day
six months lience. Jack's forefather
this day 100 years ago hud the same
menu and made the same uncompli
mentary remarks about the dishes, and
100 years hence on this day Jack's chil
dren will growl over their salt horse
and plumless duff." The author also
tells this "yarn" to illustrate that
Jack's habit of grumbling can't be
cured and must be endured:
Once upon a time there lived a skip
per whose wife said to him that if she
went to sea the poor men would never
find fault with their food. Her hus
band took her with him on a voyage,
and the good woman attended to the
cooking In the galley herself.
The seouse was thick with fresh veg
etables, the bread was white and with
out weevils, the meat was good, and
the duff was almost half plums, but
still the men growled.
Then the skipper's wife thought of
the hens she had brought on board to
lay eggs for lier husband's breakfast.
She took them out of the coop, wrung
their nocks with her own fair hands,
plucked them, roasted them and sent
them to the forecastle on the cabin
china.
"Now the men," she said to herself,
"will know how much we think of their
comfort."
At eight bells she stole forward to
the forecastle to listen to the praise of
her skill as a cook. She looked down
the hatch and saw a big black fist
plunge a fork into the lion and heard a
hoarse voice growl, "I say. Bill, what
d'ye think this 'ere bloody fowl died
of?"
A DOMESTIC JAR.
The LIKle Dialoßne With Which the
Proceedinßs Were Enlivened.
Here's a little dolly dialogue that
was overheard in a $24 a month Capi
tol hill mansion one evening last week:
She—Why, oh, why, did I ever marry
you?
He—Because I was a good thing.
She—You are becoming positively
coarse.
He—Association.
She—You pay no attention whatever
to my little wishes.
He—What's the use of chasing a car
after you've caught it?
She—l believe you have been drink
ing again,
lie—No such luck.
She —I'm in rags.
He—Well, we'll do a sketch. So'm I.
She—l haven't been to the theater for
two weeks.
He—Yours is a sad story.
She—Brute!
He—Ours is a peaceful home.
She—Are you going down town to
night?
He—lf I can swing you for car fare.
She—l have only in my purse.
He—Hetty Green!
She—l saw a pair of high heeled pat
ent leathers today, reduced to SB, that
I must and shall have.
He—D'je see any men's brogans for
$1.39?
She—Why don't you get shaved?
He—Waiting for pay day.
She—Don't you know the rent and
the gas will be due this pay day?
He—Then I'll cut out the shave.
She—l wish 1 had never left mamma,
so I do.
He—Others, others!
She—l have a good notion togo right
back to Iter this minute.
He—Have you got an umbrella?
She—Oh, you you g-g-government
c-c-clerk! (Tears. Curtain.)— Washin
gton Post.
The Neglected Volee.
The voice is the most common and at
the same time the most complex of hu
man faculties. When we listen to it,
we realize nothing of the many influ
ences at work in its use. Yet it repre
sents the character, the mood, the tem
perament and the health of the individ
ual when loft to run in its own way.
If uncontrolled, it will develop much as
a flower garden will develop; the rank
and weedy nature will come to the
front, and the tones of exquisite beau
ty will be obscured. Bad daily habits
in the use of the voice will give it
many disagreeable qualities. If con
trolled. the voice will keep its weeds in
the background and permit only its
beauties to be known, if cultivated,
the weeds will be taken out and the
flowers developed.—Pittsburg Press.
A I.on t I.lne.
"ft may have been unprofessional
POK'iuct," said the civil engineer, "but
I acted op the spur of the moment, and
1 hardly think that there was any harm
done. I was out in the country one day
on an important piece of business, and
as I was about to leave for the depot
to catch a train for the city two old
farmers came to me with a line fence
dispute that they wanted me to settle
for them. I had barely time to catch
my train, and 1 told them that 1 did not
care to bother with it. It was only a
matter of six inches or so that was in
dispute, and I advised them to split it
up between them. But they wouldn't
listen to my advice, and one of them
declared that if I didn't find the line
for them he wouldn't let his son drive
me to the station as he had promised.
As I had no other way of reaching the
depot I unpacked my instruments with
a sigh and a mental resolve to end the
thing as soon as possible.
" 'Wul,' drawled both of the old men
as I took my eye away from the inst.ru
mont, 'whar's the line?'
" 'Gone,' said I solemnly.
" 'What?' they both shouted.
" 'Y'ou can see for yourselves, gentle
men,' said I, making way for them.
" 'By gosh, I can't see it!' said one of
them as he squinted through the glass.
" 'l'll be darned if I kin either,' said
the other one as he, too, squinted
through the glass.
" 'lt seems to have disappeared, gen
tlemen,' said 1. 'Such cases are ex
tremely rare, but they are known to
happen,'
"When 1 left, they were accusing
each other of having stolen the line."—
Detroit Free Press.
Once when Mrs. Kendal was taking
the role of Galatea in Dublin she had
an amusing experience. Pygmalion, it
will be remembered, had a jealous
wife. During the temporary absence
tif that lady Galatea was about to
throw herself into the arms of Pygma
lion when an old dame in the audience
cried warningly: "Don't do it. darlint!
Ilis wife's just gone out, and shure it'll
lie like her to be listouiu at the key
hole."
Head I'eels Like Bursting.
Maybe yon were out late last night?
If you had taken a Krause's Headache
Capsule before retiring your head would
be cool and clear this morning. Take
one now and you will be all right in an
half hour. Prioe 25c. Sold by Rossman
& Son's Pharmacy.
LIST OF APPLICATIONS FOR LICENSE
In Montour County at January Session, 1901.
At License Court to be held January 35th, 1901, at 10 o'clock a. in., for Hotels,
Wholesale Liquor Stores, Distillers, Brewers, and Bottlers, with names, places
of residence, location, &0., of each.
N«me of Residence Kind of 1
Applicant. License, j
.1 unit s 1,. Rielil, Ist ward, Danville. Hotel j
Theo. F. Moyer, " " Hotel
Jiimes C. Heddens. •' " Hotel I
James V. Gillaspy, •' " Hotel j
Carl Lit/. " " Hotel !
Daniel 11. Reddens, " " Hotel 1
Daniel Marks, " " Hotel I
Heister B. Foust, i " " i
Conily W. Foust, - " " brewery
Curry W. Foust. \ " "1
Wm. C. Williams. " " Hotel
S. M. Diet/.. •• '• Hotel j
Win. L. Deutsch, " " Hotel
Benj K. Shoemaker, " Wholesale I
Liquor Store 1
Albert Kemmer. 2d ward. Danville. Hotel
W. 11. N. Walker. " " Hotel
i Jacob Maier, 3d ward, Danville, Restaurant j
George F. Smith, " " Restaurant J
S. Moyer. " " Hotel !
I
Lewis Titel. " " Hotel I
Franklin L. Cochell " " Restaurant
Thomas Tully, " " Hotel
James O. Frazier, " " Hotel
George W. Peifer, " " Wholesale
Liquor Store
i
George A. Meyers, «' '• Hotel
Charles Beyers, " " Hotel
James Ryan, " " Hotel
Wm. X. Russell. " " Hotel
Frederioka P. Reick, " " Hotel
Peter Warga, " " Hotel
James F. Dougherty " " Hotel
William Mackart " " Hotel
Andrew Russell, " " Restaurant
Peter Dietrich. 4th ward, Danville, Hotel
Polish Lithuanian Brewing
Company, 4th ward, Danville, Brewery
Wm. Houghton, Exchange, Anth'y twp. Hotel
(
C. S. Taylor, " ' " Hotel
George N. Oyster. Derry twp., Distillery
Geo. W. Hunsinger, " " Hotel
Ben. F. Wise, Hotel
Richard 11. Moser, Liberty twp.. Hotel
j W. D. Wise, Valley twp., Hotel
Frederick Moser, Valley twp. Hotel
j Fanny Heddens, Washingtonvilie. Hotel
j Amandns L. Heddens, " Hotel
J
Notice is hereby given that the foregoing named persons have filed with the
('lerk of the Court of (Quarter Sessions of the Peace of Montour County, their
j Petitions for License, which will be presented u> the said Court 011 Friday, the
: 25th day of January, A. D. 1901, at 10 o'clock a. m.
J. C. MILLER, Clerk Q. S.
! Danville, Pa., Dec. 81, 1900.
IF YOU EAT OR DRINK
/? 1 THIS WILL MAKE YOU
I Bright. THINK. Breezy. J I |
Sensible. Practical.
The Publication Women Have Wanted.
A Genuine Help to the Housewife.
10 cents sent to CULINARY
TOPICS, 14 Oliver St., Boston, Mass.,
will bring you a copy of this beautiful
high-class household magazine. Be
sides timely articles, illustrations,
stories, recipes, etc., it announces prize
competitions—one for one for
$35, and one for five beautiful silver
tea and coffee sets. Any practical
housewife has a chance of winning
these prizes.
25 Cents will bring you three
copies. They contain household hints
worth many times the money.
SI.OO w bring these three copies,
and also CULINARY TOPICS for the
12 coming months— 15 months in all
Address, 14 Oliver St., Boston, Mass.
Ten o ° ne
Cents Dollar
a Copy. \ * Ye * r '
EDISON'S PKHOSRAPH
Better than a Piano, Organ, or Music Eox, for it sings and talks as well as plays, and
don't cost as much. It reproduces the music of any instrument—band or orchestra —tolls
stories and sings—the old familiar hymns as well as the popular songs—it is always ready.
See that Mr. Edison's signature is on every machine. Cata
logues of all dealers, or NATIONAL I'HONOORAPH CO., 135 Fifth Ave., New York.
Place for which Application is "lade,
S. E. corner Market and Mill streets. Ist
ward, Danville, i'a., known as the Montour
House. *
| X. W. corner of Penn and Mill streets. Ist
ward, Danville, Pa., known as < ity Hotel.
West side of Mill street betwten. Market
and Front streets, Ist ward. Danville,l'a., Xo
11, Mill St.. known as Heddens House.
X. W. corner Mill and Front streets. Xo. 1,
Ist ward. Danville. Pa.
East side of Mill street, between Market
ati<l Front streets, Ist ward, Danville. I'a,,
i No. IH Mill street.
1 West side of Mill street, bet ween Market
and Mahoning. Xo. 127. Ist. ward. Danville
[ Pa., known as Mansion House,
i Fast side of Mill street, between Mahoning
j street and i'enn'a Canal, Xo. 234 Mill street,
' Ist ward, Danville, Pa.
X.'.V. corner Front and Ferry streets. Ist
wan:. Danville. I'a.. Xo. 19 Front street.
! East side of Mill street, between Market
] and Malioninsr sts. known -as the Haldy House
j Xos. lis and 120. Ist ward. Danville i'a.
S. W. corner Rough and Heady and Market
! streets known as Ulendower House. Ist ward.
, Danville. I'a.
Situate on the south east corner of Front
i and Mill streets. Danville, i'enna., being Xo
Front street.
Opera House Block. No. 7 East Mahoning
'■ street. Danville, Pa. Room I).
1 South side of Market street, adjoining an
j alley on the east. J. A. Faux on tlietyest and
known as the -Lafayette House, in"the 2d
I ward. Danville, i'a.
i On the soutii side of Market street, lielng
Nos. 724 and ?2i» East Market street, 2(1 ward.
1 Danville. I'a.
| West side of Mill street between i'enn'a
Canal and D. 1,. W. 1!. 11. 3rd ward, Dan ville
I Pa.. No. V7{«.
I West side of Mill street, Xos. 2ill and 2M\
between I'enn'a Canaland I). L. & W. R U
I 3d ward. Danville. Pa.
! West side of Mill street. Xos. 2U5 and 297.
I between I'enn'a Canaland I>. L. & W. K. R.
| :id ward, Danville I'a.
j West side of Mill street Xo. 33!». between I).
L. & W. K. K„ and North'd street. 3d ward
{ Danville, Pa., known as the Hudson River
I House.
i North side of Xorth'd street. Xo. 11. be
tween M.choning Creek and Mill street. 3d
; ward, Danville Pa., and known as North
Danville House.
East side of Mill street, between Centre and
Spruce sts., 3d ward, Danville, Pa. No. 510.
Southeast corner of Mill and Spruce sts.,
3d ward. Danville, Pa.
Northeast corner of Mill and Spruce sts.,
:id ward. Danville. I'a., Xos. 522 and 524 Mill
street. ,
West side of Walnutstreet. between ?{. R.
street and an alley opposite Reading depot.
' 3d ward. Danville. Pa., known as Catawissa
j Depot House.
| Southeast corner of Mill and Hemlock sts.,
'3d ward. Danville. Pa. Nos. 542 and 544 Mill
j street, known as White Horse Hotel,
I East side of Mill street,bet ween Spruce and
Hemlock sts.. No. 532, 3d ward. Danville. I'a.
South side of Mulberry street, between i'iue
and Ferry streets, known as Lackawanna
Hotel, 3d ward, Danville, Pa.
Corner of R. R. street and an alley opposite
D. L. & W. R. R. depot, known as Railroad
House, 3d ward. Danville, Pa.
i East side of Mill street, between Hemlock
and Little Ash streets, lid ward, Danville. Pa.
and known as Washington House.
North side of North d street, 3d ward. Dan
ville, Pa, adjoining property of Augustus
Treason tlie east and property of Montour
j Iron and Steel Co. on the west. :
In a house situate in 3d ward on the north
east corner of Mill and Little Ash streets, be
| ins No. t>32 Mill street, Danville. Pa.
i East side of Mill street. No. 33s Danville,
Pa.
I West side of Fpper Mulberry St.. between
I Bloom and Centre streets. No. 1. l T p;jer Mui
j berry St..4tli ward. Danville, Pa.
I Fronting on Spring street, between A and
j B streets in the 4th ward, Danville, Fa., and
| known asOerstner's Brewery.
Situate in Exchange, Montour Co.. on lie
j north side of public road leading from K\-
[ change to Turbot ville. adjoining la::<ls of
[ | Mrs. Austin Mohr, Dr.M. Mcileiiry and C'has.
Yeagel.
I A twogtory frame house known as the Felix
I Ritter Hotel situate in Exchange in Anthony
I I township on the road leading from Exchange
| to Muncy.
j On the road between Derry and Limestone
• 1 townships on Derry Roa(l. known as oyster s
| Distillery.
I On south side of public road leading from
j Washingtonville to White Hall, near or ad
I I joining lands of \\ ilkes-Bai re & Western K.
i K where Washington ville Station is located.
| Derry Township.
I A two-story frame building situate on the
' east side of public highway leading from Dan-
I ville to Washingtonville, bounded on the
' | north by road leading from Washingtonville
to Jersey town, on east by land of Joseph
111 art man.on sout li by land of Henry < 'ooper.
t In a two-story frame Hotel building, situ-
I ate on the corner of Main and Coal streets,
in the village of Mooresburg in Liberty town
ship, Montour County, i'enna.
At junction of public road leading from
Mooresburg and Washingtonville to Danville
I in Mausda.'e, Valley Township, known as
Valley House.
Valley Township, on road leading front
, Washingtonville to Danville, knowu as l'enn
i sylvania House.
j Fronting on Water street, corner of street
, ; in Washingtonville borough known as Excel
sior Hotel.
Southeast corner of Water and Market
1 ! sirei-ts. Washingtonville borough, known as
I Eagle Hotel.
I
Mr
Which is it?
Ik it the carpet, furniture or walls
..which give the key note most effec
tively in a room ? Withcrat doubt,
it iji the walls. There are four re
member, besides the ceiling, Other
things are important, but yon mus
have your walls tasteful and appro
priate, if you wish to get a good
style. Our papers are the best.
L E. GRONE.
IXU Mill St.
Shoes, Shoes
StyJlLSll I
Olieap!
I I
»
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Tennis Shoes.
THE CELEBRATED
Carlisle Shoes
AND THE
Snag Proof
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A SI ECIALTY.
A. SOHATZ.
This season's most artistic
~^>MlLLlNEßY<^
productions are here to interest and
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■ram.
• 122 Mill Street.
liil M 1
A. Reliatole
TOT SHOP
Tor all kind of Tin Roofing,
Spouting and Ceneral
Job Work.
Stoves, Heaters, Ranges,
Furnaces, etc.
PRICES TIIG LOWEST!
QIILITY THE BEST!
JOHN HIXSOJV
NO. 116 E. FRONT ST.
Clias. L. Pettis & Co.,
CASH
; PRODUCE BUYERS,
Dersse<j Poultry, (iame. Furs,
Erjts and Butter.
204 DUANE STREET.
NEW XORK.
Write tor Our Present Paying
Prices.
Red I Supprissid
Mtnstruailor
UrOSS PAINFUL
m#... Mmtruatfoi
I RnSV And ■ PREVENTIVE fo
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Q ■ I I IRREGULARITIES
ill Are Safe and Reliibfe.
I 1|
The Ladies'
3 RICESI.OO
Sent postpaid on receipt of
orice. Money refunded if not as
Yin de Cinchena Co.
Des Moines, lowa.