p fk« Wrong Text. "Very Urn food speeches are really Impromptu." said a New Orleans law yer, who ha* a reputation as a clever offhand talker, "but it Is generally easy to produce that effect by simply leading off with some strictly local al lusion. Of course that's a trick, but If s a trick employed by a good many eminent orators. 1 was broken of it myself by rather a peculiar incident. "One day some years ago I happened to be in a town where a large commer cial college is located and was Invited by the president to make a few re marks to the boys during the noon re cess. I mentally framed a little talk on the subject of energy, and as I was going Into the main hall I chanced to notice the word 'Push' In big letters on the outside of the door. 'By Jove,' I said to myself, 'that's the very thing I need for localising my opening sen tence!* So when I reached the platform 1 launched out something like this: " 'My young friends, as I approached the entrance to this room a moment ago I observed a word on the panel of the door that impressed me as being an appropriate emblem for an institution of this eminently practical character. It expressed the one thing most useful to the average man when he steps into the arena of everyday life. It was'— " 'Pull!' yelled a dozen of the boys on the back seats. There was a roar of laughter, and I was so horribly discon certed that I was unable to take up the thread of my remarks. The con founded door had 'Push' on one side and 'Pull' on the other. I had taken my text from the wrong side."—New Orleans Times-Democrat Barb Ureal la His Owi Way. They tell a story about John Sher man and Bob Pltxslmmons. the prize fighter. During his triumphal tour aft er he had downed Corbett the great gladiator was In Washington and called at the state department. Then was seen a contest between brain and brawn, head and hands. Fitxsimmons looked sheepish and 111 at ease, but Mr. Sherman evidently tried to make him feel at home. "Your recent contest was a severe one, I believe. Mr. Fitzslmmons?" he said. Mr. Fitzslmmons littered a couple of Inaudible words and grinned. "It seemed to have pretty thorough ly aroused the country, the contest, did It not?" Mr. Fitzslmmons scrutinized the brim of his hat attentively, blushed, grinned and said: "The United States Is a fine country, your honor," and backed out of the office, responding with short, sharp ducks of the head to the secretary of itate's farewell bows. When the doors md closed upon the then world's cham pion, the wrinkles at the sides of Mr. Sherman's eyes contracted into a smile. "A great man that, Babcock." he laid dryly to his secretary, and went m with his work.—Cincinnati Commer cial Tribune. toath Sea Saporatttloaa. In the south sea islands the old gods ire still very close to present life, lesplte the vigorous profession of the lewer faith which the missionaries lave Introduced. On village greens the itone churches rise into prominence. The people are unremitting in their ittendance upon the services, wearing lean white shirts and gaudy bonnets, according to the sex of the worshlp rs, and carrying their Bibles and lymnbooks wrapped In spotless hand erchlefs. But In the jungles and on he waters no Samoan quite forgets ill ancestral gods, the powers of na ure, and In the domain of the hunter nd the fisher these old gods reign upreme. Moralists may not assume to blame hem as untutored savages practicing bsurd superstitions of an Inferior race, or if any moralist will only go a-fish ,ig with people of the infinitely su perior Caucasian race he cannot avoid teeing a few practices which may not t>e superstitions, but which are certain ty believed necessary to luck. What Ihe boy does to the worm after It Is on the hook and before It goes Into the itream Is proof that there is kinship n practice between the savage and the cultured sportsman.—Cor. Forest and Stream. Castoaa lafloeieea Laagmgt. Pomologlsts, like botanists, find It impossible to enforce the rules of prlor ty in names of fruits and flowers. In fruits the names of Bartlett for a pear ind Telegraph for a grape have not jeen changed in spite of the efforts of leading pomologlsts and pomological societies to support prior names. Those who lead in these good efforts forget that the only law for language is the law of custom. In a famous grammar we are told "the English language re quires the pronoun 'lt' for all Inani mate objects." but custom has so firmly nade the sun a he and the moon a she .hat we have accept It. Thus It will »ver be. To secure the adoption of a prior name reformers must bestir .hemselves before custom gets posses sion of the field.—Meehan's Monthly. Toe squire (sympathetically)—l'm rery sorry to hear that your husband •a at the point of death. Mrs. Ilodge, >ut you must try and be cheerful, as 'ou know It will be all for the best Mrs. Hodge—Ah, yes. Indeed, sir; t'll be n blessing when 'e's gone. 'U be able to Uve In comfort then, as 'ave 'im la four different clubs.— r udy. - -oirting Location. "Midgely is a poetical fellow. I sked him how tall his new sweetheart «. lie answered, 'Just as tall as my ieart' " "There Is no sense In that—anyway ,ot In Midgely's case. He told me that be first time the girl's gruff old father ame Into the parlor his heart was In is boots."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. A NOVEL IDEA. MRS HBLSM ROOF, of Lima, Ohio, writes >at she has supplied herself and three tughteri with shirt waists and earned a sautlfully decorated, 100 ptece dinner-set, so a 24 piece silver-service, la three ionths. by simply getting a few friends id neighbors to try DIAMOND DIOEST ABLETS for Dyspepel* and Constipation, be premiums are certainly beautiful, and Irs. Roof says she is over ISO ahead in leful household articles and wearing ap trel. What makes it so easy to earn these ively presents la that DIAMOND DIOBST ABLETS are warranted to cure any case 112 Dyspepsia and restore the bowels and ver to perfectly natural action in two eeks or the money is refunded. The tab ts do exactly what Is claimed for them, ad a few persons once started will use lough to secure you several lovely pre ilums In a very short time. If you would ke a beautiful shirt waist very latest tyle, color and material, just send your ime and address to the DIAMOND DRUO 0., 84 West Broadway, N. Y.. requesting tern to send vou eight boxes of tablets to e sold at 25c. a box, and get your father, lother. brothers, uncles, cousins or your unts to take them with the understanding Sat they pay you if found good. This they ill do and want more every time. Collect be |2 and send It In and receive your resent. Tou caa then get the 24 piece llver-servlce and 100 plees dinner-set In very short time and sbsolutely without ost This firm requires no money in st ance and will mall tablets with premium ffers merely upon request gpBBBHBaSSMHHm | SELF afING § l' hISE often, they strutj-^y^^ 33 * E;»S?W glc along „„1 keep up, Where other women go h)y^S*^\ to W' t. To such. \yf n women the value \] a of Dr. Pierce's 1 fcj Favorite Fre- JH scription is he- K* yoiul coniputa- R« RiJWkSSm tion. It cures R&gfePS the common cause of ill-health * ' n woman, de- E®SjjJwS rangetnent or clis- Jy ~V* BwPm ease l * le woni " jrfWwvfer anly organs. A p' tcln P er:;nce niedi- M cine. It contains V HO alcohol, opi um, cocaine, nor CSSE®! other narcotic. "I had female trouble for eight year*," writes Mrs. L. J. Dennis, of 828 East College Street, Jacksonville, Ills. " For three years I suffered continually. Words cannot express what I suf fered. / sought relit/ among the medical proves ston and found none, until induced by kind friends to try Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. When I began taking this medicine I wtighed ninety-five pounos. After taking ' Favorite Pre scription ' I was built up until now I weigh one hundred and fifty-six pounds—more than I ever weighed before. I was so bad I would lie from day today and long for death to come and re lieve my suffering. I had internal inflamma tion, a disagreeable drain, bearing-down pains in the lower part of my bowels, and such dis tress every month, but now I never have a pain —do all my own work, and am a strong and healthy woman. Thanks to your medicine. I consider myself a living testimonial of the ben efits of your ' Favorite Prescription.' " Dr. PIERCE'S FAVORITE PRESCRIPTION MAKES WEAK WOMEN STRONO *nri SICK WOMEN WELL. The Boy Who Learned the Way, Be was very young—about 13—this boy who spent most of his time in the studios watching the artists draw ami paint and wishing he could do the same. "What kind of pencils do you use?" he said one day, and they gave him one of the kind. That night he tried tc make a figure he had seen one of the artists draw, it seemed so easy. But he could not do the same kind of work. "Perhaps I haven't the right kind of paper," he reasoned. "I will get a piece tomorrow." Even the right kind of paper did not help him any. "I need a studio and an easel," was his next conclusion. "I have the de sire; surely all I need now are the necessary surroundings." A few years of impatient waiting passed before he secured the "neces sary surroundings," and when lie had them all and still found it Impossible to draw the truth dawned upon hiui. "I kuow what is wrong," he cried, throwing down his pencil. "1 know nothing of the principles of art. 1 must learn then) first." He was still young when his name as a great painter was known on two con tinents. He had learned the "princi ple." A bit of brown pauer and a burned match would then enable him to draw as easily as all the art essen tials.—Ann I'artlan in Success. Holding Ilia Job For Hint. "Of all the excuses I have ever heard from people for not paying their bills." said a collector for a prominent firm the other day,"l got the neatest today from a very wealthy man who always owes the house a bill. No matter whether the bill is for $lO or SIOO, he always pays SO. I have gone back the next week and got s."> more, and once I went back twice in one week, and he paid me $5 each time and seemed glad to see me. I got to know him pretty well, and the other day I asked him why he did not pay it all, as I knew he had the money." " 'Well,' said the old fellow, 'if I pay you everything I owe you at one time you will collect so fast that pretty soon you will be out of a Job for the want oi something to collect.' "I don't know whether that was hit reason or not, but I let the subject drop and am Just going around there now for another ss."—Memphis Scimitar. Gonnod'a Opinions. Music Is the most beautiful art, but it is the most detestable profession. But is not that right? That which be longs most to heaven should fare worst on earth. The public moves much faster than the Individual, and therefore the indi- \ vldual must place himself before his age if he desires not to be behind it. Wagner has some idea of this sort. It is a necessity which every true artist must realize. Great men may be said to be for every age save their own. ; Small men are for their own and none ' other.—"Reminiscences," In Macmil- j lan's. The Congregation Smiled. A certain clergyman when preaching extemporaneously touched on the sub ject of miracles. Some people, he said, | had difficulty In accepting the miracu- ! lous stories of the Bible, as, for ex- j ample, the story of the speech that j Balaam's ass made to his master. Looking solemnly at the congrega- 1 tion the preacher hammered In his con tention with the remark, "Why should not God make an ass to speak—he j made me to speak."—New York Trib- i une. Tripped l T p. Mrs. Newrich—That Mrs. liyart Is a stuck up thing. 1 know just as much about music as she does. She needn't get funny. Mrs. Browne —Why, what lias she done? Mrs. Newrich—Oh, she tried to trip me up today—asked me if I'd ever ! beard somebody's "Songs Without Words."—Philadelphia Press. Hln Ambition ItenllKi-d. Blobbs—When he was a little boy, he Was always singing "I Want, to Be an 1 Angel." Blobbs— And he died young, I sup pose. Blobbs—No; but he's had his wish gratified. He's backing Barnstormer's Colossal Aggregation of International Stars.— Philadelphia Record. Knew He I.oved Her. Mrs. Duncan Stewart described Lady Beaconsfleld as originally a factory girl. Mr. Lewis first saw her going to her factory, beautiful and with bare feet. He educated her and married her. died and left her very rich, and then she married Disraeli. When ask ed why she married her second hus band, she would say, as if it was a feather In her cap, "My dear, he made love to me while my first husband was alive, and therefore I knew that he really loved me." Augustus J. C. Hare's Recollections. Rosy Cheeks! Do you want them? Do you simply want tj glow with health? D<> you want to eat well, sleep well and work well? Try Liohty V Celery Nerve Com pound. Sold by Kossma.ll & Son's Pharmacy. •I'll* Grave or Annie I.nnrie. It has been discovered that the grave of \i:.ne Lauii.-, the licrei: 112 the world fain.ms ballad. lias renin •< 1 fur oil these years without a to:: It lone. Many people are the delasi 1:1 that Annie I.aurie was 1. .'rely a l>g • M <>f the poet's brain. I> t this was .. i *>. She was the dai:; '1 T of Sir : ert Laurie and was lurn in Ms. v.tliun House, which stand 'a the"in. im mortalized in the - ug. Her i : i< is thus set down in the Barjorg manu script: "At the plea-lire of the A! : .;:lity God, my daughter. Anna Lair. •>'. was born upon the l*>tli day of D ■ -mht r, lOSii, about 0 o'clock i;i the moraing, and was baptized by Mr. < seoi ge, minister of Gleucairn." Maxwi lion House is still full of memori's of this winsome girl, ami iu the long drawing room there siill hangs her portrait. Her lover and the author of the original song was young Douglas of Fingland, but whether he, as is common with lovers of poetic tempera ment, cMd not not press his suit sufficient ly or whether she wished a stabler hus band, she gave her hand to a prosaic country laird, her cousin, Mr. Alexander Ferguson. They lived the rest of their lives at Craigdarroch House, live miles from Maxwelton, and when she died Annie was burried iu the beautiful glen of the Cairn. Lady Scott Spottiswoode, who died early in the present year, was responsible for the modern version of the song. King Richard Inn Kitchen. "Actors of the old school did not have the gorgeous stage settings of the present," said a veteran stage manager the other night as he ga; ed ;:t the stage in Ford's Opera House while iu a reminiscent mood. "I remember once we were playing southern towns with Edwin Booth and wanted to put on 'Richard ll.' No special scenery was carried for this, and I was told to look over the stock at the theater to see if there was any lhat could be used. The second scene called for the en trance of the king and all liis couriers Into a royal hall. I picked out a set of scenery that I thought would do for the palace, but cautioned the stage hands not to get it on wrong side out. Well, the first scene was finished, and when the stage was disclosed for tlis second there was the typical old kitch en scene, the one with hams hanging from the rafters, a candlestick on tiie mantel and all that. I wa.s horrified and asked Mr. Booth if we should change It by ringing <1 va the eu;tain. He said no, hew- 1 -:u of the kidneys, liver, bladder and of the uiinarv passag es and constipation oft iie bow els are cur ed by Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy- There is 110 question about its being the best and surest medicine in the world for such troubles. It quickly relieves and cures inability to hold urine and people, young or old, who take 11 are not compelle I to get up a number o) times during the night. For put tint' an end to that scalding pain experienced i) passing urine, nothing is so good as I)r David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy. Ii corrects the bad e/lects of whiskey and beer; is pley*»int to the taste, and does not seam to be medicine at all. Diseas es of the kidneys and tlie bladder often require the u: eof instruments to push back the sandy matter so the urine can be voided. In such cases Favorite Rem edy should be taken without further de lay or the disease may prove fatal. It it sold for one dollar a bottle at all drug i stores, it is well worth many times its price. Saui|»l4'N Kr«*r. I.' vi,ti wish to test Dr. David Kenne dy- Favorite Remedy before buying to se from kidney troubles should ake advantage once of it at i ~ The Honey In Ills Pocket, A young Pittsburgh aro.-e from bis bed one morning and, dressing, went down stairs to breakfast. As he sat at the table he carelessly put his right band int > bis trousers pocket and was surpr. Ed to find .$7.25. He knew that when lie retired for the night lia bad just 25 cents and had fallen asleep while wondering where he con! 1 bor row money the next morning. lie was highly elai d over the discovery, for, although he thought long ai: 1 hard, he could not remember how he bad come into the possession of the money. After work that day be took a friend to the opera and later to supper. When lie returned home about midnight, a brother stepped i.to his room and said, "ilarry. did yo; 1 pay that bill for me today V" The young man was almost durn founded. It all came to him at once. Shortly after he had retired the pre vious night his brother had entered the room and, placing the money in his trousers pocket, said: "Say, old man, when you go down town tomorrow, I wish you would pay Mr. that bill I owe him. I promised to let him have it by tomorrow." The young man was dozing at the time, and that accounts for his failure to remember what his brother had said to him. He was kept busy borrowing from friends to make up the amount the next day, and he declares that hereafter his brother will have to pay his own bill.s.-Pittsburg Chronicle. A* She Described It. It was the first day of school. The bell bad tapped, and the little children of the secondary primary were sitting upright in their seats, hands properly folded and with round eyes fixed on the new teacher, taking a mental in ventory. She was a bit nervous. It was ber first school. The children made her "fidgety," they stared at her so bard and watched her so narrowly. She began to feel like a mouse that Is.within tlie clutches of a cat. She cast about wildly in her mind for some occupation to begin the first day. She regretted bitterly that she had not ar ranged some definite plan of campaign. Then her face brightened. She would find out what the children already knew. Question followed question, touching on divers subjects. "Now, who knows what a skeleton is?" asked the teacher, smiling coax ingly. The little girl wearing the pink ging ham apron and occupying the back seat waved her hand wildly and work ed her mouth in frantic endeavor to get "teacher" to look at her. "Well, what is it?" "A skeleton," said the tot, twisting her apron in her fingers, "is a man who has his insides outside and his outsides off."—Denver Times. ADTAATAKFH of I.OUK SENTENCES. The last summer, when I was 011 my way back to Vienna from the appetite cure in the mountains, I fell over a cliff in the twilight and broke some arms and legs and one thing or another and by good luck was found by some peasants who had lost an ass, and they carried me to the nearest habitation, which was one of those large, low, thatch roofed farmhouses, with apart ments in the garret for the family and a cunning little porch under the deep gable decorated with boxes of bright colored flowers and cats; 011 the ground lloor a large and light sitting room, separated from the milk cattle apart ment by a partition, and in the front yard rose, stately and fine, the wealth and pr'de of the house, the manure pile. That sentence is Germanic and shows that I am acquiring that sort of mas tery of the art and spirit of the lan guage which enables a man t> travel all day in one sentence without chang ing cars.—Mark Twain in"The Man That Corrupted Iladleyburg." Too Mucli Latitude. With a bright smile the beautiful Eskimo girl left us to join the merry throng in the ballroom. "Your daughter is a gay butterfly!" I exclaimed, desiring to be very com plimentary. "For my part, I don't think much of this social life." replied the mother, with sudden vehemence. "The idea of dancing every night till away along in March and then lying in bed next day until Aug. 1 or such a matter!" It was on my tongue to say that these young people had too much lati tude, but I checked myself.—Detroit Journal. Asi Aerlilont. Little Bessie having been punished for misbehavior, slunk to the other end of the room, crying. Her mother turn ed to view her repentance, but found her engaged in making faces at her. "Why, Bessie," said her mother, •how can you do so?" "Oh, mamma." answered the little girl. "I was trying to smile at you, but my f n ce slipped."— London Answers. Head Feels Like Bursting. Maybe you were out late last night? If you had taken a Krause's Headache Capsule before retiring your head would lie cool and clear this morning. Take • ne now and you will be all right in an half hour. Price 25c. Sold i>v Rossman & Son's Pharmacy. A man u' o had experience in Alaska was listening to a group of citizens dis cussing the weather and broke in on the talk thus: "Pshaw, you fellows don't know what eh:;:i Ti-ahle weather is. You think it's always cold in Alaska, do you? Well, just 1 t me tell you a little personal ex perience of mine. One day I went hunting with a party of miners. The weather was quite warm when we started, and I perspired freely. Sun deuly it turned bitterly cold, and lar£e icicles formed on my whiskers (I had grown a full beardi. Crossing a small canyon. I en me face to face with a big, ugly looking bear. I had nothin- ' v po u.tin my gun, and the 111:1:1 .Ui the cartridges was away behind i:ie. so as a desperate resort I ramn: d the icicles from my beard into the gun and blazed away." "And what happened?" said one of the crowd eagerly. "Why, 1 struck him squarely in the head and killed him." "Killed him? Impossible!" chorused the crowd. "But it did, I tell you. The tempera lure suddenly turned warm again, melt ing the icicles, and the bear died from water on the brain." Detroit Free How a Don Stopped n lloKflKht. On one of the most pleasant side rtreets of Cleveland live two dogs— A large, dignified iiound and a saucy, small fox terrier. The two are the best of friends, and the big dog is al ways watching over the little one and doing his best to keep the pert fellow out of a fight. But the other day his watchfulness failed. Another terrier came and yelled defiance at tho hound's comrade, and when the big dog arrived upon the scene it was to behold a frantic, tumbling, snapping heap, of which his favorite was part. He seemed to consider the state of things, then gave a sigh of patient dig nity and began to walk around the combatants, keeping a critical eye on the struggle and evidently acting tho part of umpire. His favorite was get ting the worst of it, but he did not in terfere. Maybe he thought the pun ishment of defeat was better than any he could bestow. lie watched silently till all at once his friend gave a yelp of real pain and trouble. Then sud denly the big dog awoke. With a bound he was beside the other two. With one tap of his paw he sent the victor over into the dust, grabbed bis favorite in his mouth as a cat grabs her kitten and made off to his own back yard. During the next hour he licked, scold ed and fondled the repentant terrier. And now the two are more devoted than ever, though the little dog seems more meek and decidedly more obedi ent than of yore. — Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Faithful DOR. Many hundred years ago there lived at Athens a dog whose faithfulness has caused him to be mentioned in history, and in the Grecian city his story is often repeated. The dog guarded one of the heathen temples at Athens. One night a thief stole into this building and carried off some of the most valuable treasures. The dog vainly barked his loudest to frighten the thief and to rouse the keepers as the man went off with the jewels. But the faithful dog did not mean to lose sight of the rascal, and all through tlie night he followed him. By daybreak the poor animal had be come very weary, but still be kept the robber in sight. The latter tried to feed him, and as he made friends with the passersby he took It from them in stead. Whenever the thief stopped to rest the dog remained near him, and soon a report went through the coun try of the animal's strange behavior. The keepers of the temple, hearing the story, went in search of the dog, and they found him still at the heels of the thief at a town called Cronyon. The robber was arrested, taken back to Athens and there punished. The judges were so pleased with the dog's sagacity and faithfulness that they or dered him to be fed every day for the rest of his life at the public expense. Snre Enough Tale. In one of the private schools here in town there is a small boy who is al ways cheerfully miles be liud every body else. He is not a dull boy, but learning does not appeal to him as be ing a tiling especially to be desired. Recently the teacher tohl the class in composition that on the next day she would expect each of them to be able to write a short anecdote. She ex plained with great care the meaning of the word anecdote, and next day when she called the class up to write all but the laggard went at once to work. "Why don't you write an anecdote, Rob?" asked the teacher. "I forget what an anecdote is," said Rob, undisturbed. "I explained to you yesterday, Rob, and you ought to remember," said the teacher, a bit out of patience. "An anecdote is a tale. Now write." Rob bent over his slate and. with much twisting of brow and writhing of lip ground out his task. When the slates were collected, his was at the very top of the heap. The teacher picked it up, and this is what she read: "Yesterday we had soup made from the anecdote of an ox." —Youth's Com panion. The Shoe and the Woman. Hereupon 1 ventured to reason with the woman. "Your conventional immunities," 1 urged, "are not compatible with the new responsibilities which you seek to assume. That is where the shoe pinch es." The woman gave me a withering look. "Pinches!" she exclaimed most scorn fully. "It's a mile too big! I could wear two sizes smaller!" Oh, what a futile thing mere logic seemed now!— Detroit Journal. A Clincher. Old Lover— l know I am old enough to be your grandfather, but, my dar ling. I have an immense fortune to be stow upon you. Young Heart— l hesitate to answer. Old Lover —I)o not keep me in sus pense. I have heart disease, and under excitement I am likely to die at any moment Young Heart— Then I will be yours. It Worked Well. "And have you tried the plan of greeting your husband with kind words when he comes home late, as I sug gested?" asked the elderly friend. "I have," said the youngish woman, "and it works like a charm. He stays home all the time now trying to figure out what is the matter."— lndianapolis Press. Karly Use of Plireonn. Pigeons were employed in early Egyptian days, navigators taking them on their galleys and liberating them when they arrived at their destination in order to announce their safe arrival to their friends or employers. The Romans utilized them in communicat ion with each other In wnrtlma rntteiiinß floifn. Now is the time to be pushing along the hogs that are to be slaughtered this winter, says The American Cultivator. We never found anything that would put the fat on equal to good cornmeal or that would make pork more to our liking. We remember a statement by Professor Stewart in which he says that with good hogs and proper feed ing one should make 8 pounds of pork from a bushel of raw corn or 10 pounds from a bushel of raw meal, 12 pounds from the corn if boiled and 15 pounds from the meal if boiled. He referred to live weight, but we think if he had said dressed weight he would not have ' eeu far from right. And yet our expe , ii,l oc j )ol , n more with what we I ■ .1 > BILLED meal, or such as we had poured boiling water over and stirred well, allowing it to stand until cool enough to feed. Whether a more thor ough cooking would have improved it we do not know. We think Theodore Louis, who is very good authority on pork raising. fav< « boiling the meal until well cooked, but what a feeder can do for hundreds of animals might cost too much for labor and fuel IF done for a few. The Boy Aboard Ship, Mr. Frank T. Bullcn, who was once a drip boy himself, makes in his book, "The Men of the Merchants' Service," these mournful statements concerning the sea life of young .laeky: "Within the memory of middle aged men a boy 011 board a ship was the butt, the vicarious sacrifice to all the accumulated ill temper of the ship. To day tales are tohl of the treatment of boys in 'Geordle' colliers that are enough to make the flesh creep to hear. 111 those days it was the privilege of every man 011 board to ill treat the boy, and if, as very often happened, the poor little wretch died under it— well, what of it?—it was only a boy. "And the peculiar part of it all was that the brutes who did these evil deeds prided themselves that their ac tions were right and proper. There was only one way of training a boy— with a rope's end if it were handy; if not, a fist or a boot would do, but he must be beaten. "One man whom I shall always re member, as smart a seaman as ever trod a ship's deck, heat me until there was not a square inch of my small body unbruised. Scarcely a watch passed that I did not receive some to ken of his interest in my welfare, and on two occasions he kicked me with such violence that with all the will in the world to obey his orders I was per fectly helpless. My only wonder is that he did not kill me. "Yet when I left the ship he bade me quite an affectionate farewell, bidding me remember how lmrd he had labored for my benefit, that every blow he had given me was solely aimed at making me more useful and fitting me for my duties." Swindle by Pawn Tlelceta. The most lucrative game which New York swindlers work on the credulous and eager New Yorkers themselves continues to be the bogus or false pawn ticket swindle. It is not un known in Chicago, and it has so many fine points about it, all of them ap pealing to the man who loves to make a few dollars on the side, that the rogues who work it are never out of customers. The simplest method is for the swindler to tell his intended vic tim he has in pawn a ring or gem worth SIOO. He claims to have pawned it for only $25, and rather than lose the difference between the real value and the amount for which he pawned it he will give the customer a rare bargain. There is $25 due the pawnbroker, be sides $5 interest, leaving an equity of S7O. He will sell that equity for just half, or $35. After the victim has paid over the $35 and has redeemed the pledge he finds that the real value of the article is SSO to SGO and that he is out $5 to sls. The pawnbroker gets all he loaned, and the original owner makes all the victim overpaid.—Chica go Tribune. Remlnlacenee of a Thenplan. At Brighton Beach I hit Mose Rosen stein, who was organizing a one night "Faust" company, for a Job. "What part do you wish to take?" he inquired shortly. "I wish to take the place of Mephis topheles, of course," I answered, draw ing myself up proudly, for I had on a new suit of clothes and could afford to look him in the face. "And why do you wish to take that particular part?" he inquired. I was amazed at his dullness; but, concealing my disgust as far as possi ble, I explained that it was because the devil always gets his dues. He seemed pleased at my repartee, wrote me out a SSOO per week contract and paid me my first week's salary of $7.50 in ad vance. I played the devil in "Faust" until nearly the end of the season, after which I was cast in"The Foundry." a workingman's play.— lndianapolis Sun. Her Crltlclam. Mary Is very stout, quite deaf and the trusted housemaid of a family In the East park section. Incidentally she seems to be something of an art critic. When she cleans the family rooms, she is heard to mutter and shake her head in dusting the pictures, and she seems to be especially severe on a few repre sentatives of the "altogether" that hang In the little den. One day Mary was flirting her dustcloth about in this little room when her mistress happened in. Mary was standing gazing intently at a beautiful photograph of Bougue reau's "Cupid and Psyche." "And phwat pictur' is that?" asked Mary in hard, cold tones. "Oh, that is 'Cupid and Psyche,' " said the lady rather Indifferently. "Moody and Sankey. is lit? Well, I hav' heereil of them felleys. Sure, they ought to be ashamed of thelrselves." — Philadelphia Record. How lie Got Religion. "Did you ever get religion?" asked the revivalist. "Well, I should say so— l3S pounds cf it," replied the man. "A hundred a'nd thirty-eight pounds of religion!" cried the revivalist. "How did you get that?" "The only way that a good many men ever get religion." was the reply; "I married it."— Chicago Post CATARRH Nothing tmt a local remedy or etmi.se of^WrfSjfc , r y roCOLD® cluiiate will < ure g<*."o'/pA''co u , N ■ CATARRH g Y Sf|Jj Ely's Cream Balm Wu It is quickly al> sorbed Gives Re njaw PPt/rQ lief at once Opens gf AY rLYLIt and cleanses the Nasal Passages. Allays Inflammation. Heals and Protects the Membrane. Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. No Mercury No In- J jurions drug. Regular Size, 50 cents: ! Family Size. SI.OO at druggists or by mail. ELY* BROTHERS, 06 Warren Street New York D„ L, & #RAILROAD, TIME TABLE, 111 Effect September Ist, 1899 GOING WKBT I'AS | NEW YOKK. R . M . A. M. A *• P . M Barclay Ht. LV. URN io 00 ••*• Cristopher St.. U -J,, 10 00 HOIIUKRN — A « w »»j •••• scran ton Ar o j i>C ; : daily] P.M. 5 50 -m io a a Bellevue . •••LA J.-, N Tayiorvilie io'ls! \ «fl 352 ea I 10 20; F ;J «14 I urn ton 1 10 3 4 u*' Susquehanna Ave... l 10 •{ A ifc ; 4 , 5 West Pittston I« 5 w 1; , 2 AI- 4OM« AU W yorulug :7 O 10 H 220 4 J 3 • rortv * ort ....I N JJ G? NM " : 70 ' MSB 8 -M U i 0*43 Kingston 7 1 J 0 WI 242 4 Kingston.... ;7 1 HI Mi A 44' 43Dti 5U Plymouth J nc 7 1 a 47 4 Plymouth 7 A 1105 A 52 ...■■7 J« Avondale ; 7 2 a :,7 ? 2-J Nanticoke I 7 3 "n 13 302 Hunlock'! ! 7 3 11 19 310 Shickshinay i 75 1 11 HO 334 ; Hick's Ferry I 8 0 fn 43 3 35; • Heach 1 aven j8 11 11 4S 342 .... Berwick ! 8 1 111 54 34W .... Briar Creek ~ti 2 ' 112 3 56 .... Liime Kidge 8 3 ha 00 4 04: ....I ESPY j 8 3.! ia 15 411 ..••! Bloomsburg 8 4 - | ia 22 417 Rupert ! 8 50; 12 27 483 Catawissa I 8 68; ia 32 429 llanville I >llll0 1 12 47 442 Chulasky i 4 40 Jameron 98U 12 57 464 '8 4-"1 a. lll a.m. 'AM Barclay St. Ar. 330 6 0«)| 041 Christopher St... 300 465 6Ha Hoboken 247 448 <126 Scran tun JO 05 la 55 140 a.m. P.m. | am 'daily! ! P -M A.M.I P. M P. M. P. *. dly Scranton 912 12 bo 465 6359 07 Bellevue 9 3*; 460 5309 02 Tayiorvilie 9 -38 445 J 6 25 857 Lackawanna .... 9 K 487 6 I 147 Duryea J23 434 5 848 Pittston I 9 19! 12 17: 429 6 844 Sufquehanna Ave.. 916 12 14 424 6 830 West Pittston .... 9'2 . 421 6 536 Wyoming 1 W (Is 120S 410 51 822 Forty Fort 903 .... 1 410 4 |B2B Bennett eOO | 400 4 0 824 Kingston, 867 12 021 40L| 45 »21 Kingston 855 12 00 4 12; 4 .s 10 Plymouth .1 unction 8 .50 1 865 4 4 sis Plymouth 845 11 52 ; 3 61, 4 41. 801 Avondale 8 4oj I 3 4'l J S 00 Nantii-oke BSS 11 45 342 "51 Hunlock'S 8 271 I 334 ' 4ti Shickshinny 816 11 30 324 '3B Hick's Ferry 8 041 | 313 <25 Beaeh Haven 7 53 ! 3 U7 ' 1- Berwick 745 11 04 301 700 Briar Creek 7 I; 8! | !700 Lime Kidge 7 30! I 248 J 95 2 EflpJ 723 10 48 242 |8« Bloomsburg 715 10 ti 238 .... j ß ®' Kupert 70« 10 30 231 5 833 Uatawisßa 7 03; 10 32 226 |®2B Danville 850 10 21 212 I® Chulasky I | 6 01 Cameron 6 38 J ,: 03 NOBTHUMBBRL'D... 6 25! 10 00 150 ; 650 Lv A.M.(A.M. V. M. I '• *• IP.M Connections at Rupert with Philadelphia 4 Reading Railroad lor TamaneDd, Tumaqua, Williams] ort, Sunbury, Pottsville, etc. AL NDrthuuiberiand with P and K. Div. P. R. K. for Harrisburg. Lock Haven, Emporium, Warren Corry, and Erie. PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD. TIME TABLE In Effect Nov. 25th, 1900- AM A. M. PAL.P. ML Scranton(D&H)lv \6 45 19 38 218 27 Pittston " " | 708 112 1000 §2 42 432 A. M. A. M.IP. M. P.M Wilkesbarre,.. lv § 7 3>>|§lo 55 J 3 08 <6 00 Plym'th Ferry •• 112 7 37't li 02 I 3 16 I'B 07 Nanticoke " 7 46: UIO 329 617 "" Mocanaqua .... " 804 11 32 846 637 Wapwallspen. . " 8 13: 11 42 356 647 Nescopeck ar 824 11 5a 407 700 A.BDJ P.M. P.M. Pottsville lv § 5 501 812 IX I Hazleton " 7 05!. 200 550 Toinhicken 7 22 2 18 6 10 "* Fern (Jlen "I 7 2it 2a7 6 18 Rock < Hen " 735 234 625 "" Nescopeck ar 8 #oj 300 650 Catawlssji.. .ar ~~ A. M A.M P.M. P M Nescopeck lv § 8 24 §ll 58 ? 4 07 <7 00 Creasv " 833 18 «<2 4 LTIJ 709 Espy Ferry.... " 112 8 43 12 10 112 4 24 7 211 E. Bloomsburg, " 8 47J 12 14 4 89! 725 Catawissa ar 8 OF; 12 21 485 732 CatJwissa lv 856 12 21 435 732 South Danville " 9 14 12 38 453 751 Sunbury ' 9 35' 100 515 815 A.M. P.M. P. MRM. Sunbury lv || 9 42 § 1 10 § 5 45 U8 40 Lewisburg.... ar 10 18 145 818 Milton " LO 08 139 614 904 Willlamsport.. " 11 00 280 7 10 950 Lock Haven... " 1169 340 807 Renovo "A.M. 440 900 Kane " I 825 P.M. P.M.I Lock Haven.. lv jl2 10 1 3 45' . . Bellefonte ....ar Tyrone " 2 15! 86 00 Phllipsburg " 4 41|5 828 Clearfield.... " 537S 009 Pittsburg.... 41 655 till 30 A.M. P. M. P. M. P M Sunbury lv 3 9 60 F 1 55 J 5 85|H8 31 Harrisburg.... ar JLL 3<> § 3 15|| 6 551!0 10 P. M. P. M. P. M. A~M Philadelphia.. ar § 3 17 || 623 ||lo 20 S 4 »•"> Baltimore " § 3 liji| 8 HOJ 9 45 2 30 Washington... " | 4 lit |, 7 16 10 55 4 05 A. M. P, MJ Sunbury lv $ E 57 $ 2 08 J Lewistown Jc. ar 11 401 3 50; \ Pittsburg "J 6 55J§LL 30' ; JA. AL. P, M P. M. pTI ; Harrisburg.... lv 111 1 45 il 3 45 || 7 2O 21025 P.M. A.M.AM Fittsburg ar!J 0 55jJ| 1130;|| 1 301 5 30) P.M. PM A ML A M Pittsburg lv IJ 7 10 1 8 30 I 3 00||8 00 IA.M A M j P M Harrisburg.... ar | 1 55 | 3 4o J 9 30 J 3 10 .... I P M AM Pittsbmg lv! I 8 00 ... P M L.ewistown Jo. "| 7 :to J! 3 '.O Sunbury ar! 9 2O ( 6 00 IP. M.J A M A M A M Washington... lv ,10 401 J 7 45 (10 50 .... Baltimore •• all 41 j 450 840 ill 45 ' Philadelphia... " (11 20|J 425 || 840 il2 25 J.... A. M A M A. M. P M Harrisburg.... lv J 3 35 | 7 55 GLL 40 \ 4 00 Sunbury ar ;505J 930 110\ 540 '.... P. M. A M A M Pittsburg lvl-,12 45 8 2 60 i 8 00 Clearfield.... " j 409 . 028 Pliilipsburg.. " 4 ST ! 10 12 Tyrone " 715 I! 810 12 30 Bellefonte.. " | 831 932 142 " Lock Haven ar 030 10 30 243 ].... P.M. A MA M P V Erie lv! || 4 30 Kane, "I 7 551 U6 00 Kenovo "I 11 15U 6 45J 10 30 ' Lock Haven.... " 12 03; 7 351 11 25 J 300 I A.M. |P M Willlamsport.." 106 Hi 830 J!l2 40 400 Milton •' 158 9 19; 187 41>2"". Lewisburg " 9 05; 1 15 447 "'" Sunbury ar 227 9 4ti| 165 580 A. M. AMP M P M Sunbury lv !js 650 | 9 55|J 200G 648 South 1 lanville 713 JIO 17 221 809 '" Catawlssa "j 7 3:i 10 36 2 301 6 27'" E Bloomsburg.. 789 10 43 2 43; 838 fclspy Ferry...."! 7 43; FlO 47! f636" ** * Creasy " ! 7 s!t IN 66 2 ,VI 646 "*" Nescopeck " 803 11 06J 805 8 S«6 "" A M A M P. M. P M j Catawissa lv 738 j Nescop«*ck lv! ?11 55 S 4 10 3 7 05 Rock Olen ar 880 12 21 430 731 Kern Glen " 8 83; 12 87| 442 737 •*" Toinhicken " 842 12 85 451 T45 "" Hazleton " 1102 12 f.i 51 BL 806 Pottsville " 11 50 220 H 30 1 905 AM AMP M P M - Nescopeck lvjg 8 03 ;|U 05 JI 3 05 j 8 55 • ... "A'apwallopen..ar 818 11 20 319 709 Mocauaijua .... "j 828 11 32 329 721 .... Nanticoke "1 848 11 64 348 ' 742 P MI Plym'th Ferry ' 112 857 18 < ! 2 8 57 F7 62 Wilksbarte ... " 906 12 101 405 800 AM P M P M P M Plttston(DAH) ar; J 9 STF 1118 4',» G4 52 836 Scranton " " 10 08; 1 18J 520 905 \ Weekdays. 1 Daily. 112 King station. Additional Train leaves Hazleton 5.15 p. m., Toinhicken 5.;15 p. m., Fern 1 ilen 5.43 p. m., Hock Glen 5.50 p. M., arriving at. Catawissa 6.25 p. m. Pullman Parlor anil Sleeping Cars run on throuah trains between Sunbury. Willlamsport ami Erie, between Sunbnry and Philadelphia and Washington and between Harrisburg, Pitts- 1 burg and the West. For Inrther information apply to Ticket Agents / Ji. U UTCHINS OH, J. li. WOOD. C/en'l Manager. Oen'l Pass'n'r Ag. New ) Coal Yard! ►1 R. J. Pcgg, Coal 0 2 Dealer, has re -0 'i moved to his new 0 J COAL YARD. >8 0 OFFICE: —No. 344 Ferry Street (near D. L- & W. R. R Crossing) YARD —In rear of Office. 10 kt M ■ Robert J. Pegg, 1 COAL DEALER. 11 7 Telephone No. 158- h _ _■ ; PHILADELPHIA & 112 READING RAILWAY IN EFFECT OCT. 15, 1900. TRAINS LEAVE DANVILLE , t (weekdays onlyj 1 Frr Philadelphia 11.25 am. li For New York 11.25 a in, 5 For Catawissa 11.25 a. m., 6.04 p. m. > For Milton 7.32 a. m.. 4.00 pm. For Willlamsport 7.32 a. m.. 4.00 p m. Trains for Baltimore, Washington and tha J South leave Twenty-fourth and Chestnut : Streets, Philadelphia, weekdays—3.2B, T. 14 1 10.22 a. m., 12.16, 1.33, 3.03, 4.12, 5.03, 7.26, 8.2« p. 1 tn., 12 21 night. Sundays 3.23, 7.14 a. m., 12.18, i 1.33, 4.12, 6.03. 7.26, 8.26 p. IE. ATLANTIC CITY RAILROAD. | Leave Philadelphia, Chestnut Street W har j and South Street Wharf. ' W EEKDAYS —Express 9.00 A. M., 2.00, 4.00, 5.90, 1 7.15 P. M. Accommodations c.OO A.M., 5.30 P. M. Sundays—Express 9.00, 10.00 A. M. 1 Accommodation 8.00 A. M . 5.00 P. M. ATLANTIC CITY-Weekdays—Expreaa 7.8 >, 9.00. 10.15 A. M. 2.50, 5.30, P. M. Accom modations 8.05, A.M., 4.05 P. M. Sundays 1 —Express—43o.7.3o P. M. Accommodation 7.15 A. M., 4.05 P. M. ■ Parlor cars on all express trains. For CAPE MAY—Weekdays—9.ls a. m., 4.15, 5.00 p m. Sundays-9.15 a m. For OCEAN CITY -Weekdays—9.lsa. m., 4.15 p m. Sundays—9.ls a. m. For SEA ISLE ClTY—Weekdays—9.ls a. m. 5.00 p. m. NEW YORK AND ATLANTIC CITY EXPRESS. Leave NEW YORK (Liberty Street) 3.40 P. M Leave ATLANTIC CITY, 8.30 A. M. Detailed time tables at ticket offices. W.G. BESLER, EDSON J WEEKS Gen.Superintendent General Agea JOHN W. FAENSWOETH INSURANCE LiTe Fiie AccMett ail Steal Boiler Office: Montgomery Budding, Mill Stroet, Danville, - - Penn'a 50cta. flll »"F —J SI.OO Qn| 11.4 jg One cent a dosa Tnia Gkkat Cocgh Cure promptly eura Where all others fail. Coughs, Croup. Sorv Th. oat, Hoarseness, Whooping Cough and Asthma. .Yor Concumptioa it era no rival] has cured thousands, end Will CC."3 YOC it taken in time. Sold by Drngrgi.ita rn a guar antee. For a L:imo Dock or Ch«rt, uta SHILOH'3 BELLADONNA PLASTI-RiCi f»H ILO H'S/^CATARRfI llavoyouCauirrb? 'Phis r''me* KaclUh ~ ' Wl—fc EfJNYROYAL PILLS jC-\ Ori|\ itrc rillikla. uoiilulA /. il Dnuitrt tor CfcidUaUr* **fUtk D\* JeXX £MQ?SS*&\nmJ2irmnd la lird ud la» etfcrr. Ktfiut ruifUm- ▼ l"l /y.'inu nd MUnluiu. ilDtiuuU HMIU I Jm ta n*rap4 for pmritevl&ri. irmoweUUs u4 (n IS " ItelUf for Ladle*." <" UlUr. »7 JiT ff UalL ie,OM teiftf' TAt *n rtrofriiu. Chlrkodvr fkmiwl C«. IS4OO tfadlava K|| J IRREGULARITIES 111 Are Safe and Reliabla. I 111 vr Perfectly Harmless The Ladies' % 3 RICESI.oO Sent postpaid on receipt of g price. Money refunded if not as " y - Yin de Cinchona Co, Oct Moines, lowfc