. _ • , - r * * ■ n2l ——— W*m
ahe Marin Branch Democrat.
. *;■ -Aj£'A," '*' . ; j£"., >
A H.-VTBTV glfTirr .urn Proprietor,
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BYHARVEY SICKLtR
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JOB WOBB:
of all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
he tiinoß.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
WORK must be paid for, when ordered
fusiitfss ftotites. _
RR. & W E LITTLE, ATTORNEYS AT
LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhauneck Pa
IT7M. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW -Of
Y\ fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
nannock, Pa.
HS.roOPF.R. PHYSICIAN A ST"RGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
0 1,, I'ARRISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW*
• Offi *e at the Court House, in Tunkhannock
Wyoming Co. Pa.
J . RHOAIW, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• will attood promptly to all calls in his pro
fession. May be found at his Office at the Drug
Store, or at his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq-
DENTISTRY.
DR. L.T. BURNS has permanently located in
Tunkhannock Borough, and respectfully tenders
his professional services to its cilizeus.
Office on second floor, formerly occupi ' by Dr.
Oilman.
v6n3otf.
Budihr f^use,
HARUISRURO, PENNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
a BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements as will
render this old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of Harrieburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpeet
fully solicited. •
7 GEO. I, BOLTON
WALLS HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style. Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the blouse.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tunkhannock, September 11, 1361.
WORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
AfESIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA-
M m. H. CORTRIGMT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed tbe proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the uudersigned will spare no efforts
render the bouse an agreeable place of sojourn to
all who uiay favor it with their custom.
Wm. H CORTRIGHT.
June, 3rd, 1063
JjJeans jDotrl,
TOWANBA, PA .
D* B* BARTLET,
| Late oft.. BBRAISABD HOCSK, ELMIRA, N-Y,
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, is one of the LARGEST
BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
14 fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
pnd no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for all,
v 3, n2l, ly.
jyjrj j|y
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing
now offers his services in this line to the citisens of
NICHOLSON and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his shop the
place t%,get them.
JOKL, R. SMITH
-nSO-6mos
mWsffiflllTTii
Manufactured by
WM. FLICKNER,
** TUJVA-MAJYWOCJL', 7>a.
• >xc,u '' nve r 'K ht Wyoming County, is
Stmw illl e V 6W Mdchines that will cut Hay,
i l 4c '< ( * tter fhan the old fashioned
Cutting boxes, used by our grand fathers.
a nSm^Jof U huu m * a ? d labor; ftod would avoid
a °® ed ' /Pf ° f ln j Ceding their stock, should
get one of these improved Cutters
Jrs awjLst sawr—
A SUPPIY CONSTANT!,, - ON HAND,
fflcß9tf WM ' rLICKNKB. j
mm & Minm nun
A LARGE
STOCK. OF
SPRING
GOODS,
JUST RECEIVED AND
For Sale
VHE.ir,
c
ALL KINDS OF
Produce
TAKEN IN EXCHANGE
FOR GOODS,
AT
BUNNELL A BANNATYNE'S
Tunkhannock, Pa.
vsn4l.
"TO SPEAK. HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEHAIf'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jefferson,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA. WEDNESDAY, JULY 24, 1867-
loft's ©arum,
ASK ME NOT TO DRINK.
Fair lady, ask me not to drink
A toast to thee to-night—
For broken vows and blasted hopes
Expose the demon's blight;
But back the wine I darenot taste-
Put back the sparkling bowl—
Ftr who hath quaffed a draught so deep,
And reach a blissful goal 7
Oh ! ask me not, there lies within
A poison deep and dire!
And every drop but serves the more
To fan the latent fire ;
Each draught will quench my sense of guilt,
And blast youth's budding hope.
Each drop will sink me deeper still,
In moral night to grope;
Oh ! press me not to touch the cup,
Within are glaring eyes,
And starving widows, hungry babes,
And freezing orphan's cries.
Whom the Gods destroy they first make druuk,
Then ask me not to drink—
Oh tempt me not, but spare my toul
From death's eternal brink.
I have three sisters mildly fair,
Like angels around my way—
Whose love is like the stars shine
With undiminished ray—
They shall be doomed to see me fall,
A prey to maddening drink—
And sundered me the love that binds,
Or snap the golden link,
Another sleeps where sadly^waves
The willows in the vale— •
And midnight whispers in the sky
Come on ther sighing gale—
She passed away as summer's breath,
In life's incipient bloom-
Then tempt me not, I would not mar
Her slumbers in the tomb.
Strange stories have been from time to
time related of jewels, rings, and even
watches, found in fishes when caught and
opened, and subsequently returned to
their owner. Whether or not these sto
ries be true, I, of course, cannot say, but I
vouch for the entire truth of the following
related by a clergyman, himself the hero
of the story, to a wondering circle of lis
teners. Though expectant of something
strange as a final, they were by no means
prepared for the actual denoument:
"It was on a summer twilight," said he
"that standiug on a rustic bridge which
spanned a well known trout stream near my
father's house, I won from the girl I had
long loved the promise to be my wife.—
She was something of a- coquette, and I
had a rival in the field; so to make the
matter sure to myself, and evident to him
and others, I drew from her hand a ring
which she had often declared she would
give only to her betrothed lover, and
transferred it to my own finger.
"It was my mother's engagement ring,
said she, half in earnest and half playful
ly, "and there is a superstition connected
with it. So long as you keep and wear it,
a ' e ® n 6sg®d; but if you lose or part
with it in any way, the engagement is
broken. So take care !"
"Some weeks after she went away on a
visit, and then my great consolation was
to haunt that favorite spot on the bridge
which had been our trusting-place. Once
leaning over the railing and thinking over
our betrothal, I took from my finger the
treasured ring, and gazed fondly on the
initials—ber's as well as her mother's—
engraven within. In attempting to re
place it, the golden circlet fell from my
grasp and disappeared in the waters below.
"Only a lover under similar circumstan
ces can imagine how I felt. Day and
night I mourned, disconsolate, my lost
treasure, and my great dread was her re
turning and finding the ring missing. Yet,
strange to say, I had a singular presenti
ment or intuition that 1 should some day
recover it—though by what means I had
no idea.
"Not long after, fishing in the same
stream some distance below the bridge, I
fell to thinking of my lost ring. If I could
only fish it up—and just then there was a
quiver, a tug, a pull and a struggle at my
line, and after sortie play I drew out a fine
large trout. At the sight of him the tho't
suddenly and unaccountably flashed into
my mind that the ring—my lost ring—was
to be found within his body. I cannot ac
count for the feeling, but I know that it
was heightened into almost a conviction
when upon grasping the victim, I perceiv
ed on a portion of his body a singular pro
tuberance, and felt there beneath the skin
something like a hard foreign substance.
I seized my large pocket clasp knife. Ea
gerness made me cruel—yet not more so
than if I had left my victim to die a slow
and lingering death. I cut off bis head,
and then, with a trembling hand, ripped
open his body, and explored the suspicious
protuberance. My knife grated against
something hard, and —yes, I caught the
glitter of some shining substance! Imag
ine my feelings when, with a beating heart
and trembling haDd I drew forth "
"The ring, uncle ?" breathlessly inquir
ed Nellie.
"No, my dear. Only a piece of green
glass!"
The general consternation and indigna
tion may be imagined.
I wish you were my own dove,
I And sitting on my knee :
I'd kiss your smiling lips, love,
To all e-ter ni-tee.
A STRANGE STORY,
HOW THE GERMANS MAKE UOYE.
Oh! you American lovers, rejoicing in
your secret walks, your lovely rides, your
escorts from eveniug prayer meetings, those
well-established rendezvous for lovers;
you who can indulge in secret sighs, billet
doux and poetry, little do you realize the
inconvenience with which a modern Ger
man courtship is carried on. There are
no secret interviews and smuggled letters
to inspire the heart of an amerous German.
If he has anything to say he says it before
anybody and everybody who happens to
be in the room. If he calls upon the mis
tress of his affections, he beholds her qni
etly knitting a stocking in the midst of the
family circle ; and before all his array of
spectators must he nnbosom his heart and
woo his bride. By unbosoming his heart
I don't mean proposing.
Unless he can watch a second behind a
door in a ball room, or elude for an instant
the vatchful caie of the young lady's guar
dian, that momentous question, "Will you
have me ?" and the delicious answer,
"Yes. dearest," will never be whispered
between them at all. He must go to the pa
terfamilias, or some married friend whose
affections are doubtless as withered as her
features, and make them the meditators.
When all is arranged, the engagement
announced, and the romance entirely over,
then he can sec the lady entirely alone,
take her to the theatre (when he wishes to
do this before the engagement he must in
vite the mother or the aforementioned
withered relation) ane indulge in a walk
once a week.
This extreme reserve seems at first
glance the more unnatural, from the fact
that the Germans are essentially a roman
tic and poelical people; their literature,
their love of music and worship of art show
this, no less than the romantic attempts at
chivalry among the students, the tender
ness and kindness one meets with every
where,, their politeness, rongh though it
sometimes is and the interest, almost curi
osity, which is taken in your affairs.
But Germans have to look beyond mere
flirtations and love-making. They are us
ually poor and mus 'raose a*wife as the
Vicar of Wakefield did "for wear." A
flashy, brilliant girl, who lacked the usual
domestic instructions, would never do for
them ; and a lady who should throw off
her reserve and openly accept the atten
tions of a gentleman, would, if she succeed
ed in keeping her character, never win a
husband. Germen men are not easily
caught by appearances. There are some
sad stories connected with German en
gagements, owing to the excessive pover
ty of the men, and the necessity for almost
every one to work his way from tbe bot
torn of the ladder. Fran Dr. S. told me,
with tears in her eyes, of an elderly lady
living near her who had been engaged
fifty years. At no time has her lover
earned enough to marry upon, and now
both are grey-haired and and approaching
their grave, and though their hopes of
marriage in this life are all over, they keep
their vows sacred for another world.—
There are many such cases, doubtless,
where a lifetime is one continued struggle
between hope and despair—a struggle on
ly ended with death.
PPOFANITT —Why will men take the
name of God in vain ? What possible ad
vantage is to be gained by it f And yet
this wanton, vulgar sin of profanity is ev
idently on the increase. Oaths fall upon
the ears in the cars and at the corner of
streets. The North American Review
says well: There is among us not a few
who feel that a simple assertion or plain
statement of obvious facts wtll pass for
nothing, unless they swear to its truth by
all the names of the Deity, and blister their
lips with every variety of hot and sulphu
rous oaths. If we observe such persons
very closely, we shall generally find that
the fierceness of their profanity is in in
verse ratio to the affluance of their ideas.
We venture to affirm that the profanest
men within the circle of your knowledge,
are all afflicted with a chronic weakness of
the intellect Tne utterance of an oath,
though it may prevent a vacuum in sound
is no indication of sense. It requires no
genius to swear. The reckless taking of
sacred names in vain is as little character
istic of true independence of thought as it
is of high moral culture. In this breathing
and beautiful world, filled, as it were, with
the presence of Deity and fragrant with
its incense from a thousand altars of praise
it would be no servility should we catch
the spirit of reverent worshippers, and il
lustrate in ourselves the sentiment that the
"Christian is the highest style of Man."
AN "UNSUSPICIOUS NATURE," —Dating
tbe cross-examination of a fabe witness at
the Tombs the other day, the District At
torney asked him where his father was, to
which the witness responded with a meian
cholly air: "Dead air ; dropt off very sud
denly, sir." "How came he to drop off
suddenly !" was the next question. "Foai
play, sir, the sheriff imposed on bis un
suspicious nature sir, and getting him to
go up on a platform to take a look ot a se
lect audience, suddenly knocked a trap
door out from under him, sir."
teacher in Springfield, Massachu
setts, while conducting an examination,
asked, among other que I'ins, the follow
ing : "Why is the pronoun 'she' applied to
a ship." To which one of the boys render
ed the following answer: "Because the
riggiug costs more than the hull."
I BROTHER CRAWFORD'S SERMON.
A Southern exchange gives this as the
first sermon of a new minister in a village
in that section. He began apologetically,
as follows :
"You don't see me to-day in the dress
I allers wear. I come among you as a
, stranger, and am DOW tricked out in my
store clothes. lam uot a proud man, but
I thought it would be more becoming
among strangers."
After this, he raised a hymn, in which
„the congregation joined. He then began
his sermon :
"My dear brethren and sisters : First
and foremost, I'm gwine to tell you the af
fecting partin' I had with my congregation
at Bethel Chapel. Af tcr I had got thro'
with my farewel sermon, as I come down
onten the pulpit, the old gray-headed
brethren and sisters, who had listened to
ray voice for twenty years, crowded abound
me, and with sobbing voices and tearful
eyes, said —'Farewell, brother Crawford' !"
"As I walked down the aisle, the young
ladies, tricked out in their finery, brass
jewelry, gewgaws, jimcracks, paint and
flounces, looked up with their bright eyes
and pronounced with their rosy lips—'Fare
well, brother Crawford P "
"The young men, in their tight patent
leather boots, high collars and dashy waist
coats —smelling of pomatum and cigar
i smoke—with shanghai coats and striped
zebra pants —they, too, said—'Farewell,
brother Crawford!'"
"The little children—lambs in the fold
lifted up their tiny hands and small voices,
and, with'one accord^aid—'Farewell,broth
er Crawford!'"
"As I got on my horse, and bade adieu
to my congregation forever, I turned to
take a last look at the church where I had
preached mor'n twenty years ; and as I
gazed at its dilapidated wall and moss cov
ered roof, it, too, seemed to sav—'Farewell
brother Crawford 1'"
"As 1 rode through the village, the peo
ple who poked their heads outen tbe win
dows, and the servants who leant on their
brooms, all seemed to say—'Farewell broth
er Crawford !'"
"As 1 passed along the highway through
the forest, the wind, as it sighed and whis
tled through the tree tops, playing on the
leaves and branches the burthen of salva
tion, it, too, seemed to say -'Farewell,broth
er Crawford !'"
"Crossing a little creek that was gurgling
and staging over its pebly bed, rejoicing
on its way to the great ocean of eternity,it,
too, seemed to say-'Farewell,brother Craw
ford !'
"As I rode along down a hot, dfcsty lane,
an old sow, asleep in a fence corner, jump
ed out of a sudden, and, with a loud broc
too, broo-too, she,too, seemed to say—'Fare
well, brother Crawford !'
"My horse got frightened, and jumped .
from under mc, and as he curled his tail
over his back, kicked up his heels and ran
off, he, too,seemed to say—'Farewell,broth
er Crawford !'
"I tell you what, Pomp.dat Massy Thad
Stevens is a big fish."
' (TO long wid you'self, you unrevcrent
contraband, for speaking thus ob de frieud
ob your race as a /itJi
"Why, you fool, all members ob Con
gress are more like fishes dan any oder
living crechahs."
"How so
"Why, because dey is fond of de bate /"
(debate.)
The Self-Eamining Society has pro
pounded the following qncries about this
financial period to everybody :
Does it not cost anything to print a news
paper ?
How long can a printer afford to furnish
a paper without pay ?
Do printers eat, drink and wear any
thing ?
If so how do they get it ?
Do I owe for my paper ?
Is not this particularly a first rate time
to call and pay up ?
"I am happy to be a virgin," said a
maiden lady to a bride, who retorted, "Yes,
a vergin' on fifty !"
If you would do nothing, just wait to be
something
_ Two American sovereigns— Smo-king
and Jo-king.
The best capital to begin life with is a
capital wife.
TASTES. —We chew tobacco, the Hin
doos lime, and the Patagonians guano or
sea fowl's dung. Our children delight in
candy, the African's in rock salt, while the
Esquimaux leaps for a bite of tallow can
dle. To us, turtles are a savory dish; the
Frenchman revels on frogs and snails ;
other savages, on snakes.
Never chew your words, Open the
mouth and let the voice come out. A
student once asked. "Can vircbue, forti
chude, gratichude or quietchnde dwell with
that man who is a stranger to rectichude?''
The words here are badly chewed.
A wag of a boarder complained to the
mistress that that the sun must have gone
under a cloud, when the shadow of
the chicken fell into the pot where bar
broth was made.
TBBsSa. sa.oo fan amnnJ
XHX GAME O* YEWKKR. —This illbred
game ofkard# is about 27 years old.
It wa6 first di6kovered by the deck
bauds of a Lake Erie steam lxt and hand
ed down by them to posterity in awl its
juyeaile buty.
It is generally played by four person#
and owes much of its absorbness tew the
fackt that yu kan talk.iand drink an chaw/
and cheat, while the game is advancin.
I have seen it played on the Hudson
liiver Railroad, in the smokin cars, with
more immaculate skill than anywhere else.
If you play there, you will often hold a
; hand that will astonish you, quite often 4
queens and alO spot, which will inflame
you to bet 7or 8 dollars that iz a good
hand tew play poker with; bnt you will
be more astonished when you see the oth
er fellow's hand which invariably consists
of 4 kings an a 1 6pot.
Yewker is a mulatto game and don't
compare tew old sledge in majesty, enny
more than the game of pin duz to a square
church rafiie.
I never play yewker.
I never would learn how out ov princi
ple.
I wuz originally created clus tew the
Connekikut line in Nu England, whare
the game of 7 up, or old sledge was born
and exists now in awl it pristine virginity.
I play old s ledge, tew this day, in its na
tiff fierceness.
But 1 won't play enny game if I know
my character, where a jack will take the
ace. and the 10 spot won't eotfnt game.
I won't play no such kind ov game, out
ov respeckt to old Connektikut, mi natifiT
state. — Josh Billings.
THAT BLESSED BAAY.
We commend the following article to all
our young friends who have lately taken
unto themselves a little sweetened calico,
and are setting themselves up as Benedicts.
It is a description of an old musicle instru
ment. one found in nearly ef cry house, and
how it is played upon :
Time—Night. Husband absent.
gyWife and mother—Don't ty ; sweetie
yittie babie; daddie isie comie hoinie toie
bringie sweetenß yittie babens somie candie
Bes'e wasens you darling yitten babenS.
(Kiss, kiss.)
Baby—a-a-a! Y-a-a-a !
Mother —Didi somie bodie buze'e darlie
yittie one ? Yes a didie and muzzie willie
whippie 'emmie forie itie ; don't ty, darlie.
(Kiss.)
Baby—Y-a-a-a J Y-a-a-a Ya-a-a 1
Mother —don't ty, sweetie one! Wasie
hungry ? Yessie, sweetens yittie one, didie
wantie somfe to eatie ? soie didie. And
muzzie din't knowie itie.
Baby—Ya-a-a ! Y-a-a-a ! Y-a-a-a
Mothc —Muzzie willie foedic darlie
yittie one. Commie herie anie gettie
somie toie eatie, biessie yittie heartie I
(Feeds it.)
Baby—a-a a ! Y-a-a-a a-f
Mother—Bressie yittie soul! Don't ty*
my sweetie yittie babie. Listen, (Sings.)
By, oh, baby, by !
Bady, by ; oh, baby, by,
Sweetie yittie baby, baby,
Sweetie yittie baby, by, ob, by.
Baby—Y-a-a-a-a I Y-a-a-a-a !
Mother. My child, do stop this crying.
I won't have this any longer ! You nasty,
cross little brat, I say !
Baby (still louder) Yaa! Ya-a-aa f
Yaa-aaa-aaaa aaaaa !
Grand tableaux. Young mother hold
ing "the beauteous babe" with one hand,
while the other is making a rapid descent
upon the said "beauteous babe's back, just
below the waist-band of the night-gown.
MARK TWAIN AND THE FENIAN.—I hunt
ed up an old friend, Dennis M'Carthy.who
is editor of a Fenian Journal in San Fran
cisco, The Irish People. I found him sit
ting on a sumptuous candle box, in his
shirt sleeves, solacing himself with a whiff
at the national dhubeen or caubeen, or
whatever they called it—a clay pipe with
no stem to speak of. I thought it might
flatter him to address him in his native
tongue, and so I bowed with considerable
grace and said :
"Arrah !"
And he said, "Be jabers !"
"Och hone!" said I.
"Mavournecn dheelisb, acnshla macree,"
replied the M'Cathy.
"Erin go bragh," I continued with vi
vacity.
"Asthore !" responded the M'Cartby.
"Tare an' ouns !" said I.
"Bhe dah huath ; fag a rogharha lumsl"
said the bold Fenian.
"Ye have me there, be my aowl," said I,
'for I'm not up' in the niceties of the lan
guage, you understand; I only know
enough of it to enable me to keep 'my end
up' in an ordinary conversation."
A certain Irishman received for his labor
a dollar bill on one of the Ohio banks, on
which he was obliged to loose ten cents
discount. The next day he was passing
down Main street and saw a dollar bill ly
ing on the side-walk, on the same
gazing ou it, he exclaimed : "Bad luck to
the like of ye—there ye may lie ; devil a
finger will I put on ye, for I lost ten cents
on a brother of yours yesterday."*
A forlorn fellow says thus plaintively ;
"When Sally's arms her dog imprison,!
always wish my neck Was his*n, how often
would I stop and turn, to. get a pat from a
hand like her'n, and when she kisses Tow—
ser's nose, oh. don't I wish that 1 we*
tboso!'
VOL. 6, NO. 49.