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RT&~W' E IjITTIJE, ATTORNEYS AT
LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhano®ok Pa
\\TM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of
\\ flc® ia Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk
fc anaock, Pa. _
Ha, COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre. Luxerne County Pa.
O" ETPARKISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW
• Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanuock,
Wyoming Co. l'a.
~T WTRHOADS. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
J* will attend proinjtly to all calls in his pro
feesion. May he found at his Office at the Drug
Store, or at his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq.
DENTISTRY.
DR. L T. BURNS has permanently located in
_ Tuokharinoeli Borough, and respectfully tenders
hie professional service* to its citizens.
Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr.
fitilman.
v6a3otf.
£jlf UfltlSf,
IIARRISHURG, PENNA.
The undersigned having lately purchased the
UUEIILER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced such alterations and improvements aa will
render this old and popular House rquat, if not supe
rier, to any Hotel in the City of liarrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage ia refpset-
Blly solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
TURK HAN NOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
TMI3 eitßblishment has recently been reftte 1 an
furnished in the latest style. Every attention
will be given to tha comtort and convenience of those
whe patronize the House.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tunkhannoclt, September 11, 1661.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MESIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Win. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
•eider the house an agreeable place of sojourn to
•11 who may favor it with their custom.
Win. H COKTRIGIIT.
fine, 3rd, 1863
Itas Intel,
TOWATJBA, PA.
D. B- BARTLET,
1 Late eft.. Rrrainard House, Elmira, N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, b one of the LARGEST
•ad BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
ia fitted op in the most modern and improved style,
nad no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
•greeable stopping-place for all,
T 3, 021, ty.
NEW
TAILORING SHOP .
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
ileal experience in cui ting and making clothing
BOW offer* his servi"-* in this line to the citixeus of
ikiouon and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his eho; the
)Uee to get thorn. '
.„50.60„, ,0 ' L ' * S " ,, ■
111 HIM M EITTI!
Manufactured by
WM. FLICKNER,
T UJY A'H A JYJTO C A",
-ftftrsras. for w ; oa,in ' c ° nnt^ ■
Straw, SuR * acb ,r 8 , at win cut
Cutting boxes H'A I f °' d fashioned
mi w£ ;,,* d by oar rand
• needles* loes of w™', wo,ld a ™ d
.t sue of (bess their *ould
No iqsq ever found m, ,v .
sfeMtf WM. FLICKNXX.
mnu (Mnmnmin
A LARGE
STOCK OF
SPRING
P
GOODS,
JUST RSCIIYED AND
For Sale
CHIMP,
ALL KINDS 07
I
I
I
Produce
TAKEN IN EXCHANGE
FOR GOODS,
AT
BUNNELL * BANNATYNFS
TunUkanndck, Pa.
▼Sail.
"TO SPEAK. HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERT FREEMAN'S RIGHT."—ThoMM JiArm,
TUNKHANNOCK, PA-, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, 1867.
CURTAIN LECTURE CONCERNING
SKATING.
"Oh ! go to sleep, you old fool!"
"Mr. Twain, I am surprised and grieved
to—"
"Don't interrupt me, woman ! I tall you.
it's absurd —you learn to gkate ! You'll be
wanting to plav fairy in the 'Black Crook'
next. I tell you skating is an accomplish
ment suited only to youth and grace and
comeliness of face and symmetry of figure.
Nothing is to charming as to see a beauti
ful girl, in the coquetish costume of the
rinks, with cheeks rosy with exertion, and
eyes beaming with excitement, skimming
the ice like a bird—and swooping down
upon a group of gentlemen, and pretend
ing she can't atop hersif, and landing in
the arms of the very young man her father
don't want her to know —and darting
away again and fallingr on her head and ex
posing herself—exposing herself to remarks
about her carelessuess, Madam—hold your
tongue !—and always takiDg care to fall
when that young man is close by to pick
her up. It is charming ! They look pret
ty and interesting, too, when they are just
learning—when they stand still a long
time in one place, and then start one foot
out giugerly, and it makes a break for the
other side of the pond and leaves the bal-
Uoce of the girl sprawling on this side.—
But yon I You look fat and awkward and
dismal enough any time ; but when you
are on skates yon waddle of as stuffy, aud
stupid anJ ungainly as a buzzard that's had
half a horse for dinner. 1 won't have it,
Madain ! And you get under a little pre
carious headway and then put your feet to
gether aud drift along, stooping your head
and shoulders and holding your arms out
like you expected a church was going to
fall ou you ; it aggravates the life out of
me ! And Tuesday, when 1 was ass enough
to get on skates myself, and kicked the
Irish Giant's eye out the first dash, and lit
on my head and cracked the ice so that it
looked like the sun with all its rays and
had dropped where I struck, and they fined
me ninety-two dollars for ruining the man's
pood, i was terrified with the conviction
that I h?d gone through to the inside of
the world, because I saw the parallels of
latitude glimmering all around me ; and
what wag it but yon, in your awkwardness,
fetching np'over me with your confounfcd
•tilters' on ? You've got to discard those
things. I can't stand the pew rent, and 1
It
i won t.
"Mr. Twain, I am surp—"
"Hold your clatter. I tell jou you
shan't bring odium upon the family by
your disgraceful attempts to skate, sprawl
ing around with your big feet like a cow
plowing her way down hill in slippery
weather. May be yon would'nt be so
handy about displaying those feet of yours
if you knew what occurred when 1 took
your shoes down to get mended."
"What was it ? Tell me what it was;—
tell mc what it was this mioute 1 I just
know it's one of your lies !"
"Oh ! don't mind ; it ain't of any conse
quence ; go to sleep."
"But it is of consequence! You've got
to fell me; you shan't aggravate me this
nay: I won't go to sleep till I know what
it was.*'
"Oh ! it wasn't anything."
"Mr. Twain, I know better 1 Yon're
just doing this to drive me to distraction.
What did that shoemaker say about my
shoe 1 ? What did he do? Quick!"
"Well, if you must know, he—he—how
ever, it's of no consequence."
"Mr. Twain."
"Well, he—he took it and gazed upon
it a long time in silence, and put h>s hand
kerchief to his eyes and burst into tears."
"Why you born fool! Twain, are you
going staik, staring crazy 1"
"He just stood there and wept as if his
heart would break, poor devil! There
now, let's go to sleep.''
"Sleep, you lunatic 1 I'll never close
my eyes till I know what that idiot was
crving abont—and yon won't either, I can
tell you that. Come !
"Oh ! it don't matter.
"Mr. Twain, if you say that again, I will
make you sorrv for it; what was that
numskull crying about?"
"Well, he—he-he"
<4 W-e-i-), he. Out with it! do you
want roe to —to—Twain. I'll snatch them
pel (ringes off till the sides of your head's
as bald as the top of it!"
Well, he—poor fellow ! —he said he do
ted on his graudmother —fairly doted on her
She bad nursed him, you know, because
bit mother was feeble, and so— Well, he
came to this country fifteen years ago. and
first he set up in the vegetable line, and
got along pretty well, and was about to
•end to England for tbe old lady, when
bard times came and be got broke. He
went into fruit then, and after that into
milk—into all sorts of things, you know;
but be got disappointed every time till this
present business fetched bim out at last,
all right, and he sent right off for the old
woman. She landed here four weeks ago,
but died the very same night. It was hard,
very bard, after all bis waiting and toiling
for fifteen years, to get her over here at
last and have her die or. his bands. He—
he—well, he was disgusted. However, he
laid her oat, and he and bis friends sat up
with her, and by and by tbe memory of
her virtues softened his bitterness and turn
ed it to a tender grief -a settled melan
choly that bung about bis spirits like a pall
for many days. However, by patiently
striving to keep sad thought out of his
mind, he was finally beginning to regain
some litttle of bis old time cheerfulness,
when your shoe reminded bim so painfully
qf bis poor sainted grandmother's coffin—.'
"Take that, you brute! aud if yon dare
to come back here I'll kick you out again!
You degraded old ruffian !'
MARK TWAIN.
DOMESTIC LIFE IN JAPAN,
"Nothing produced a more agreeable
impression upon me," says Dr. H. Maron
in his work upon Japan and China, "than
the amicable relations prevailing in the
family circle. In the smallest hut, as in
the more cpulent houses, a sinceie inter
est and affection is manifested by the in
mates towards each other, which, while it
is entirely free frem mawkish sensibility,
is accompanied with a politeness and equal
ity of manner that in more civilized coun
tries is the result only of the highest culti
vation.
"The social position ol woman is primi
tive and natural She is not a slave as
among most Asiatic nations; neither is
she the spoiled, pampered goddese whom
we worship with such exagersted devo
tion ; she is the friend and adviser of her
husband, from whom she invariably re
ceives attention and respect, the eharer
in his pursuits, and, wbile she is always
protected from rudeness by Ifie sacredness
of custom, should she be ever attacked by
insult from without, she is sure of being
promptly and chivalrously defended.
"But her domain is limited to the su
perintendence of the household and the
education of her children. The sterner
cells of busineee and authority are answer
ed by the man alone. The Japanese
treats his wife as a osetul being, equal with
himself, who is created for the happiness
and embellishment of his existence; and
the law as well as custom has decided that
the relations between them eau never be
reversed. There are therefore neither
Xantippes nor goddesses in Japan ; nei
ther romontic dames who pine for love,
nor strong-minded women; the young
are careless and merry, the matrons sensi
ble and industrious." The Japansee
maiden is perfectly aware of the fate
that awaits her as regards marriage, and
is indifferent as to the choice between
Paul and Peter. The house of the former
is just as good as that of the latter, for in
Japan all are alike ; and in each are seen
the same mats, paper door, portable
hearth, food and clothing ; in each pre
vail the same duties and lights.
"Her heart, no doubt, speaks its prefer
ence, and feels as deeply as that of ber
European sister, but she does cot weakly
sink into the despair of nameless grief if
her wishes be frustrated. Her education
has a solid and nnchangable foundation
which permits no deviation from its rules,
and prepares her methodically for her real
vocation—to be loved. The end and ob
ject of all the care betowed upon her is,
her husband. Our young ladies are too
proud to edncate themselves merely for
domestic life, too weak to render them
selves competent to live alone, and thus
they float lazily through life without suffi
cient ballast to keep them steady. They
learn too little for independence, too much
for real loveliness.
"The relation! between parents and chil
dren, and the rational manner in which in
which the latter are brought op, are not
the least admirable features of Japanese
domestic life. The rules which govern
the system of education are directly op
posed to the laws governing the State,
which impose the penalty of death for ev
ery infraction of blind and stupid obedi
ence. The child, on the contrary, is treat
ed with the most inexhaustible patience;
and if persuasion and kiod reasoning mast
give place to punishment, the mildest one
that can be thought of is ever that is re
sorted to. I have never witnessed the
correction of a child, nor discovered any
instrument which conld possibly be used
for such a purpose, nor can I remember
ever to have heard a little voice sobbing
or crying, yet I can assert with truth that
in no part of the world have I met with
such thoroughly well-behaved, amiable
children as those in Japan,"
DROPPING THE H.
A schoolmaster hearing one of his pupils
read, the boy, when he c.ime to the word
"honor," pronounced it full; the master
told him it should be pronounced without
the H* as thus—'onor.
* Very well, sir," replied the lad. "I
will remember for the future."
" Ay," said the master;" always drop
the H."
The next morning the master's tea, with
a hot muffin, had been brought to his desk;
but the duties of his vocation made him
wait till it was cold ; when, addressing the
same boy. he told him so tidie.it to the fire
and heat it.
44 Yes, sir," replied the Scholar, and, tak
ing it to the fire ate it.
Presently the master called for his muffin
"I have eat it as you bade me," replied
the boy.
44 Eat it, yeu scoundrel 1 I bade you
take it to the fire and heat it"
But sir," answered the lad, "yesterday
you told me always to drop the H."
SEVERAL years ago, a political conven
tion in a neighboring State nominated a
quiet, well-to do farmer for the office of
Lieutenant Governor, Tbe nominee gra
ciously received tho committee appointed
to wait upon bim at hie residence, and af
ter expressing his thanks for the honor con
ferred upon him, informed the committee
that he had peculiar qualifications for Lieu
tenant Governor, "for gentleman," said he,
"that is just tfee office I have held in my
bouse for tbe last tweaty-fber years *
SODA WATML
A few days since, a gentleman from the
country and his recently espoused wife
visited the city for the purpose of seeing
the "sights." While strolling through the
streets, they thought they would indulge
in the luxury of a glass of soda water. —
Entering an apothecary store, they made
known their wants :
• "What kind of syrup ?" asked the man
of pills.
"Wall, I guess I'll take some of the syrup
of squills," answered the countryman.
"We do not use that kind," said the
clerk.
"I know you don't, bekase its costly. I
will have the syrup of squills."
The druggist remonstrated, but all to no
purpose. His customer would have squills
remarking :
" All the other syrups is made of sugar,
lemon drops, sasspariller, aud such things
to humbug folks."
The squills were procured and our hero
requested to pour out for himself ; and he
did so taking a bountiful quautity, ia or
der to get bis money's worth.
The heroine being asxed how she would
prefer hers, raised herself to the supposed
dignity of a city belle, and replied :
"Reckon as how I'll try roiue without
any squills, or any Bweetuiu'."
Her wish was complied with, tor the
druggists was nonplussed at the impudence
of the happy pair. They touched their
glasses, drank, and sat down, as they re
marked "to let it eettle."
Io passing their own opinions on the
drinks, they gave anything but favorable
decisions.
Ia a few moments our hero began to ex
perience a new internal sensation.
"Jerusalem !" be exclaimed, "what's the
matter with my stomach !" and before an
answer could be returned,be was four milec
off Cape Cod—a clear case of "nausea
marina."
"I'm pisened !" he moaned. "Only mar
ried three days, and got to die ! Put it out
of me somebody ! IM give a doctor fifty
cents to save ray life !"
The wife fell on her knees, and attempt
ed to comfort her husband, but he was not
to be checked; and not until the last of the
squills had left him did be entertain a hope
of remaining in this world.
The couple left the store, vowing ven
geance against the man who tola them to
call for squills to sweeten their soda.
IT 18 A CURIOSITY.
It is a curiosity to find a politician who
will hold an argument with an opponent
for half an hour without getting augry.
It is a curiosity to find a politician who
will be couvinced by his opponent's argu
ments.
It is a curiosity lo find a person who
does not think his own children possessed
of more talents and accomplishments than
those of his neighbors.
It is a curiosity to fiud an artist who
does not think himself perfect in his pro
fessions.
It is a curiosity to find a Miss of fifteen
who has not began to think of getting a
husband.
It is a curiosity to find an old maid who
does not wonder that she has not loDg be
fore been married.
It is a curiosity receive a letter from
a lady which has not a P. S. attached to it.
It is a curiosity to meet with a woman
who stammers in conversation.
It is a curiosity to find a lawyer who
pleads a case successfully for you, and then
docks off a portion of his fees.
It is a curiosity to find phvsicians who,
having restored you to health does not
wish you to think he has performed a won
derful cure.
It is a curiosity to find a dentist who
will not tell you he can extract a tooth and
cause less pain than any one else.
It is a curiosity to find a school master
who does not wish to be understood that he
knows more than anybody else.
It is a curiosity to find an editor who
does not know everything and more too.
It is a curiosity to meet a man who
thinks less of himself than other people'
think of him.
It is a curiosity to find a man who pla
ces too low an estimate on his own abilities.
It is a curiosity to find a canidate for an
office who does not think he is fully entitled
to the suffrage of his fellow citizens.
A BEAUTIFUL EXTRACT.
We clip the following from a sermon
preached by the Rev. Chas. A. Humphreys
and reported for the "Liberal Christian," a
very able journal published in New York.
44 Show me tbe vilest pander, the mean
est assassin that walks the earth, and I
will find in bis soul some germs of good
that, if nourished, will grow into trees that
wonld gladden the gardens of God, and
some aspir -tions whose blind groapinge and
vain strugliugs would make an angel weep.
This human soul is a breath of God's
spirit, and though at times it is almost
smothered under our ruined and wasted
lives it only needs to have its earthly in
crustation broken to soar upward to its na
tive air. Religion is love to God and man.
It is a growth, not a spasm; a life, not a
transient experience ; not sad depressing,
but bright and inspiring. It doea not coina
like the lightning, flashing in a moment
from east through all the spreading heav
ens, bat like the rising son, piercing first
the gathered misU with many an effectual
ray, than struggling slowly inia twilight
and t* lest climbing into perfaak day."
LOOKING ON THB BRIGHT SIDE.
The wide roan never stops to brood over
evils real or imaginaary. Miny persona
suffer all their misfortunes in double or
triple magnitude by merely nursing their
wrath. Oftentimes they endure all the
pains of death in giving rein to their im
agination. A cheerful heart that in the
sorest affliction reflects how much better
things are than they might have been, is
a priceless treasure to its possessor. A
certain good natu red, old Vermout farmer
was once noted for possessing his equa
nimity, no matter what happened to dis
turb it, and the following anecdote is rela
ted in illustration of his enviable faculty :
The black tongue prevailed in the State
His own neighborhood suffered from the
effects of the plague. One of his men en
tered the house, bearing the news that
one of his red oxen was dead. "Is he?'*
said the old man, '.well, he was an unruly
case. Take off his hide and carcy it down
to Fletcher's; it will bring the cash." In
another hour or so the man came back
with the news that the "lime-backs" were
both dead. "Are they ?" said the old
man ; "well, I took them of B to save
a bad debt that I Hcver expected to get;
it's lucky it isn't the bnndle, Take their
hides down to Fletcher's—they 11 bring the
cash." After the lapse of an hour * more,
the man returned to tell him the brindle
was dead. "Is he?" said the old philoso
pher; "well be was a very old ox. Take
off his hide aod take it down to Fletcher's
it's worth the cash, and will bring more
than any two of the others." Hereupon
his wife, taking upon herself the office of
Eliphaz, reprimanded her husband severe
ly, asked him if ho was not aware that hit
lost was a judgment of heaven upon bin
on account of bis wickedness. "Is it?"
said the old fellow; "well if they will taka
the judgment in cattle, it's the easiest way
I can pay it."
DEAD BEATS.
No man ever jumps az fur as be can
but once.
If tbe wicked really stand on slippery
places, the best thing the rightyus
kan do iz to keep oph from the ice.
M Position iz everything position of a
comma, for instance. " Thare iz a divini
ty that shapes our ends, rough hew them
az we will"
If I was called upon to say how I thought
the devil looked and asked, I should kom
pare him to the man who sells rum by tbe
glass and never drinks enny himself.
Wits are like hornets—they have but
few intimates.
Thief's are remarkable for their taking
"ways
Barman for their light "weighs
Dairymaids for their sweet " wheys j*
Boston for her ü byways
Courting—homo on a furlough.
I maid up mi mind, more than six
months ago, that this world waVt made
for phools; and when i sec a man determin
ed tew go to the devil, i generally let him
went.
I konsider marrying for money no better
than stealing it. Josn Bulikos.
KNOCKED ABOUT,
It is a good thing for a young man to
be knocked about in the world, though his
soft-hearted parents may not think so.—
AH youths, or if not all, nineteen twenti
eths of the sum total, enter life with a sur
plussage of self-conceit. The sooner they
are relieved of it the better. If, in meas
uring themselves with wiser and older men
they discover that it is unwarranted, and
get rid of it gracefully, of their own ac
cord, well and good ; if not, it is desirable,
for their own sakes, that it be knocked
out of them.
A boy who is sent to a large school soon
finds his level. His will may have been
paramount at home ; but school boys aro
democratic in their ideas, and if arrogant,
is sure to be thrashed into a recognition of
the golden rule.
The world is a great public school, and
it soon teachesa pupil bis Droper place.—
If he has the attributes trat belong to a
leader, he will be installed into the posi
tion of a leader; if not, whatever his own
opinion of his abilities may be, he will be
compelled to fall back with the rank and
file. If not destined to greatness, the next
best thing which he can aspire to is re
spectability ; but no man can be either
truly great or respectable, who is vain,
pompousj or overbearing.
By the time the novice has found hts
legitimate social position, be the sameiiigh
or low, the probability is that the disagree
able traits of bis character will be softened
down or worn away. Most likely the
process of abrasion will be rough, very
rough ; but when it ia all over, and he be
gins to see himself as others sec biip, and
not as reflected in the mirror of self-con
ceit, he will be very thankful that be has
run the gauntlet, and arrived through by
a rough road at self-knowledge.
Upon the whole, whatever loving mo
thers may think to the contrary, it is a
good thing for youths to be knocked aboat
in the world ; it makes men of them.
The Washington Intelligencer, ot are
cent date, says:
Waiting for a car on a street corner re
cently, our ear was taken by a strikingly
novel, but highly expressive discrimination
of classes. A couple of "colored" women
were exchanging expressions of surprise
at the conduct of aome third person men
tioned by one, the other thereupon inquir
ing : •
"Was she colored or plain P
-Pfim!"
VOL. 6 NO. 46.