fbc Modb Branch Bcnwccat. HARVEY PTntrr.-rm Proprietor, NEW SERIES, Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) t 7,00 if t paid within six months, 92.50 will be chagt SO paper will be DISCONTINUFD, until all ar •arages are paid; unless at the option of publisher. ADVEXI ISING, IS tines or till less, make three > f ou r\ two \'^ r , ee A * i , x .° n * ont square veeeks^gjigmo'thl mo "'j" 10 *"• V tar I Square" 1,00 1.25; Usj ||J} 3,0 j 6,00 7 do. 2,00 2,50 i 3.25 3,50 4 6 , 6,00, I do. 3,0 i 3*5 475 £'S2 .ooS IB*S | Column. 4,00 4,0J L,o J B.JJ O,W 15,00 I do 600 650 10 00 ! j 17.00J 25,00 | do". 8/10' 7,CO| 14.00: 18,00 25,00; 35,00- i do. 10,00 ; 12, 00: 17,00; 22 00 28,00 40,00 j EXECUTORS, ADMINISTB ATOK3 and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, 02,50 OBITUARIES,- exceeding ten lin-s, each ; RELI OIOCS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of genera aterest, one half tne regular ratea. Business Cards of one square, with paper, BS. JOB WORK ®f all kinds neatly executed, and at pricee to iuit he times. All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WOKE must be paid for, when ordered JtalintM ffotirt*. RT&~W' E IjITTIJE, ATTORNEYS AT LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhano®ok Pa \\TM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of \\ flc® ia Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk fc anaock, Pa. _ Ha, COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre. Luxerne County Pa. O" ETPARKISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW • Offi-e at the Court House, in Tunkhanuock, Wyoming Co. l'a. ~T WTRHOADS. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON J* will attend proinjtly to all calls in his pro feesion. May he found at his Office at the Drug Store, or at his residence on Putman Sreet, formerly occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq. DENTISTRY. DR. L T. BURNS has permanently located in _ Tuokharinoeli Borough, and respectfully tenders hie professional service* to its citizens. Office on second floor, formerly occupied by Dr. fitilman. v6a3otf. £jlf UfltlSf, IIARRISHURG, PENNA. The undersigned having lately purchased the UUEIILER HOUSE " property, has already com menced such alterations and improvements aa will render this old and popular House rquat, if not supe rier, to any Hotel in the City of liarrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage ia refpset- Blly solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN HOUSE, TURK HAN NOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. TMI3 eitßblishment has recently been reftte 1 an furnished in the latest style. Every attention will be given to tha comtort and convenience of those whe patronize the House. T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor : Tunkhannoclt, September 11, 1661. NORTH BRANCH HOTEL, MESIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA Win. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts •eider the house an agreeable place of sojourn to •11 who may favor it with their custom. Win. H COKTRIGIIT. fine, 3rd, 1863 Itas Intel, TOWATJBA, PA. D. B- BARTLET, 1 Late eft.. Rrrainard House, Elmira, N. Y. PROPRIETOR. The MEANS HOTEL, b one of the LARGEST •ad BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt ia fitted op in the most modern and improved style, nad no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and •greeable stopping-place for all, T 3, 021, ty. NEW TAILORING SHOP . The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac ileal experience in cui ting and making clothing BOW offer* his servi"-* in this line to the citixeus of ikiouon and vicinity. Those wishing to get Fits will find his eho; the )Uee to get thorn. ' .„50.60„, ,0 ' L ' * S " ,, ■ 111 HIM M EITTI! Manufactured by WM. FLICKNER, T UJY A'H A JYJTO C A", -ftftrsras. for w ; oa,in ' c ° nnt^ ■ Straw, SuR * acb ,r 8 , at win cut Cutting boxes H'A I f °' d fashioned mi w£ ;,,* d by oar rand • needles* loes of w™', wo,ld a ™ d .t sue of (bess their *ould No iqsq ever found m, ,v . sfeMtf WM. FLICKNXX. mnu (Mnmnmin A LARGE STOCK OF SPRING P GOODS, JUST RSCIIYED AND For Sale CHIMP, ALL KINDS 07 I I I Produce TAKEN IN EXCHANGE FOR GOODS, AT BUNNELL * BANNATYNFS TunUkanndck, Pa. ▼Sail. "TO SPEAK. HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERT FREEMAN'S RIGHT."—ThoMM JiArm, TUNKHANNOCK, PA-, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26, 1867. CURTAIN LECTURE CONCERNING SKATING. "Oh ! go to sleep, you old fool!" "Mr. Twain, I am surprised and grieved to—" "Don't interrupt me, woman ! I tall you. it's absurd —you learn to gkate ! You'll be wanting to plav fairy in the 'Black Crook' next. I tell you skating is an accomplish ment suited only to youth and grace and comeliness of face and symmetry of figure. Nothing is to charming as to see a beauti ful girl, in the coquetish costume of the rinks, with cheeks rosy with exertion, and eyes beaming with excitement, skimming the ice like a bird—and swooping down upon a group of gentlemen, and pretend ing she can't atop hersif, and landing in the arms of the very young man her father don't want her to know —and darting away again and fallingr on her head and ex posing herself—exposing herself to remarks about her carelessuess, Madam—hold your tongue !—and always takiDg care to fall when that young man is close by to pick her up. It is charming ! They look pret ty and interesting, too, when they are just learning—when they stand still a long time in one place, and then start one foot out giugerly, and it makes a break for the other side of the pond and leaves the bal- Uoce of the girl sprawling on this side.— But yon I You look fat and awkward and dismal enough any time ; but when you are on skates yon waddle of as stuffy, aud stupid anJ ungainly as a buzzard that's had half a horse for dinner. 1 won't have it, Madain ! And you get under a little pre carious headway and then put your feet to gether aud drift along, stooping your head and shoulders and holding your arms out like you expected a church was going to fall ou you ; it aggravates the life out of me ! And Tuesday, when 1 was ass enough to get on skates myself, and kicked the Irish Giant's eye out the first dash, and lit on my head and cracked the ice so that it looked like the sun with all its rays and had dropped where I struck, and they fined me ninety-two dollars for ruining the man's pood, i was terrified with the conviction that I h?d gone through to the inside of the world, because I saw the parallels of latitude glimmering all around me ; and what wag it but yon, in your awkwardness, fetching np'over me with your confounfcd •tilters' on ? You've got to discard those things. I can't stand the pew rent, and 1 It i won t. "Mr. Twain, I am surp—" "Hold your clatter. I tell jou you shan't bring odium upon the family by your disgraceful attempts to skate, sprawl ing around with your big feet like a cow plowing her way down hill in slippery weather. May be yon would'nt be so handy about displaying those feet of yours if you knew what occurred when 1 took your shoes down to get mended." "What was it ? Tell me what it was;— tell mc what it was this mioute 1 I just know it's one of your lies !" "Oh ! don't mind ; it ain't of any conse quence ; go to sleep." "But it is of consequence! You've got to fell me; you shan't aggravate me this nay: I won't go to sleep till I know what it was.*' "Oh ! it wasn't anything." "Mr. Twain, I know better 1 Yon're just doing this to drive me to distraction. What did that shoemaker say about my shoe 1 ? What did he do? Quick!" "Well, if you must know, he—he—how ever, it's of no consequence." "Mr. Twain." "Well, he—he took it and gazed upon it a long time in silence, and put h>s hand kerchief to his eyes and burst into tears." "Why you born fool! Twain, are you going staik, staring crazy 1" "He just stood there and wept as if his heart would break, poor devil! There now, let's go to sleep.'' "Sleep, you lunatic 1 I'll never close my eyes till I know what that idiot was crving abont—and yon won't either, I can tell you that. Come ! "Oh ! it don't matter. "Mr. Twain, if you say that again, I will make you sorrv for it; what was that numskull crying about?" "Well, he—he-he" <4 W-e-i-), he. Out with it! do you want roe to —to—Twain. I'll snatch them pel (ringes off till the sides of your head's as bald as the top of it!" Well, he—poor fellow ! —he said he do ted on his graudmother —fairly doted on her She bad nursed him, you know, because bit mother was feeble, and so— Well, he came to this country fifteen years ago. and first he set up in the vegetable line, and got along pretty well, and was about to •end to England for tbe old lady, when bard times came and be got broke. He went into fruit then, and after that into milk—into all sorts of things, you know; but be got disappointed every time till this present business fetched bim out at last, all right, and he sent right off for the old woman. She landed here four weeks ago, but died the very same night. It was hard, very bard, after all bis waiting and toiling for fifteen years, to get her over here at last and have her die or. his bands. He— he—well, he was disgusted. However, he laid her oat, and he and bis friends sat up with her, and by and by tbe memory of her virtues softened his bitterness and turn ed it to a tender grief -a settled melan choly that bung about bis spirits like a pall for many days. However, by patiently striving to keep sad thought out of his mind, he was finally beginning to regain some litttle of bis old time cheerfulness, when your shoe reminded bim so painfully qf bis poor sainted grandmother's coffin—.' "Take that, you brute! aud if yon dare to come back here I'll kick you out again! You degraded old ruffian !' MARK TWAIN. DOMESTIC LIFE IN JAPAN, "Nothing produced a more agreeable impression upon me," says Dr. H. Maron in his work upon Japan and China, "than the amicable relations prevailing in the family circle. In the smallest hut, as in the more cpulent houses, a sinceie inter est and affection is manifested by the in mates towards each other, which, while it is entirely free frem mawkish sensibility, is accompanied with a politeness and equal ity of manner that in more civilized coun tries is the result only of the highest culti vation. "The social position ol woman is primi tive and natural She is not a slave as among most Asiatic nations; neither is she the spoiled, pampered goddese whom we worship with such exagersted devo tion ; she is the friend and adviser of her husband, from whom she invariably re ceives attention and respect, the eharer in his pursuits, and, wbile she is always protected from rudeness by Ifie sacredness of custom, should she be ever attacked by insult from without, she is sure of being promptly and chivalrously defended. "But her domain is limited to the su perintendence of the household and the education of her children. The sterner cells of busineee and authority are answer ed by the man alone. The Japanese treats his wife as a osetul being, equal with himself, who is created for the happiness and embellishment of his existence; and the law as well as custom has decided that the relations between them eau never be reversed. There are therefore neither Xantippes nor goddesses in Japan ; nei ther romontic dames who pine for love, nor strong-minded women; the young are careless and merry, the matrons sensi ble and industrious." The Japansee maiden is perfectly aware of the fate that awaits her as regards marriage, and is indifferent as to the choice between Paul and Peter. The house of the former is just as good as that of the latter, for in Japan all are alike ; and in each are seen the same mats, paper door, portable hearth, food and clothing ; in each pre vail the same duties and lights. "Her heart, no doubt, speaks its prefer ence, and feels as deeply as that of ber European sister, but she does cot weakly sink into the despair of nameless grief if her wishes be frustrated. Her education has a solid and nnchangable foundation which permits no deviation from its rules, and prepares her methodically for her real vocation—to be loved. The end and ob ject of all the care betowed upon her is, her husband. Our young ladies are too proud to edncate themselves merely for domestic life, too weak to render them selves competent to live alone, and thus they float lazily through life without suffi cient ballast to keep them steady. They learn too little for independence, too much for real loveliness. "The relation! between parents and chil dren, and the rational manner in which in which the latter are brought op, are not the least admirable features of Japanese domestic life. The rules which govern the system of education are directly op posed to the laws governing the State, which impose the penalty of death for ev ery infraction of blind and stupid obedi ence. The child, on the contrary, is treat ed with the most inexhaustible patience; and if persuasion and kiod reasoning mast give place to punishment, the mildest one that can be thought of is ever that is re sorted to. I have never witnessed the correction of a child, nor discovered any instrument which conld possibly be used for such a purpose, nor can I remember ever to have heard a little voice sobbing or crying, yet I can assert with truth that in no part of the world have I met with such thoroughly well-behaved, amiable children as those in Japan," DROPPING THE H. A schoolmaster hearing one of his pupils read, the boy, when he c.ime to the word "honor," pronounced it full; the master told him it should be pronounced without the H* as thus—'onor. * Very well, sir," replied the lad. "I will remember for the future." " Ay," said the master;" always drop the H." The next morning the master's tea, with a hot muffin, had been brought to his desk; but the duties of his vocation made him wait till it was cold ; when, addressing the same boy. he told him so tidie.it to the fire and heat it. 44 Yes, sir," replied the Scholar, and, tak ing it to the fire ate it. Presently the master called for his muffin "I have eat it as you bade me," replied the boy. 44 Eat it, yeu scoundrel 1 I bade you take it to the fire and heat it" But sir," answered the lad, "yesterday you told me always to drop the H." SEVERAL years ago, a political conven tion in a neighboring State nominated a quiet, well-to do farmer for the office of Lieutenant Governor, Tbe nominee gra ciously received tho committee appointed to wait upon bim at hie residence, and af ter expressing his thanks for the honor con ferred upon him, informed the committee that he had peculiar qualifications for Lieu tenant Governor, "for gentleman," said he, "that is just tfee office I have held in my bouse for tbe last tweaty-fber years * SODA WATML A few days since, a gentleman from the country and his recently espoused wife visited the city for the purpose of seeing the "sights." While strolling through the streets, they thought they would indulge in the luxury of a glass of soda water. — Entering an apothecary store, they made known their wants : • "What kind of syrup ?" asked the man of pills. "Wall, I guess I'll take some of the syrup of squills," answered the countryman. "We do not use that kind," said the clerk. "I know you don't, bekase its costly. I will have the syrup of squills." The druggist remonstrated, but all to no purpose. His customer would have squills remarking : " All the other syrups is made of sugar, lemon drops, sasspariller, aud such things to humbug folks." The squills were procured and our hero requested to pour out for himself ; and he did so taking a bountiful quautity, ia or der to get bis money's worth. The heroine being asxed how she would prefer hers, raised herself to the supposed dignity of a city belle, and replied : "Reckon as how I'll try roiue without any squills, or any Bweetuiu'." Her wish was complied with, tor the druggists was nonplussed at the impudence of the happy pair. They touched their glasses, drank, and sat down, as they re marked "to let it eettle." Io passing their own opinions on the drinks, they gave anything but favorable decisions. Ia a few moments our hero began to ex perience a new internal sensation. "Jerusalem !" be exclaimed, "what's the matter with my stomach !" and before an answer could be returned,be was four milec off Cape Cod—a clear case of "nausea marina." "I'm pisened !" he moaned. "Only mar ried three days, and got to die ! Put it out of me somebody ! IM give a doctor fifty cents to save ray life !" The wife fell on her knees, and attempt ed to comfort her husband, but he was not to be checked; and not until the last of the squills had left him did be entertain a hope of remaining in this world. The couple left the store, vowing ven geance against the man who tola them to call for squills to sweeten their soda. IT 18 A CURIOSITY. It is a curiosity to find a politician who will hold an argument with an opponent for half an hour without getting augry. It is a curiosity to find a politician who will be couvinced by his opponent's argu ments. It is a curiosity lo find a person who does not think his own children possessed of more talents and accomplishments than those of his neighbors. It is a curiosity to fiud an artist who does not think himself perfect in his pro fessions. It is a curiosity to find a Miss of fifteen who has not began to think of getting a husband. It is a curiosity to find an old maid who does not wonder that she has not loDg be fore been married. It is a curiosity receive a letter from a lady which has not a P. S. attached to it. It is a curiosity to meet with a woman who stammers in conversation. It is a curiosity to find a lawyer who pleads a case successfully for you, and then docks off a portion of his fees. It is a curiosity to find phvsicians who, having restored you to health does not wish you to think he has performed a won derful cure. It is a curiosity to find a dentist who will not tell you he can extract a tooth and cause less pain than any one else. It is a curiosity to find a school master who does not wish to be understood that he knows more than anybody else. It is a curiosity to find an editor who does not know everything and more too. It is a curiosity to meet a man who thinks less of himself than other people' think of him. It is a curiosity to find a man who pla ces too low an estimate on his own abilities. It is a curiosity to find a canidate for an office who does not think he is fully entitled to the suffrage of his fellow citizens. A BEAUTIFUL EXTRACT. We clip the following from a sermon preached by the Rev. Chas. A. Humphreys and reported for the "Liberal Christian," a very able journal published in New York. 44 Show me tbe vilest pander, the mean est assassin that walks the earth, and I will find in bis soul some germs of good that, if nourished, will grow into trees that wonld gladden the gardens of God, and some aspir -tions whose blind groapinge and vain strugliugs would make an angel weep. This human soul is a breath of God's spirit, and though at times it is almost smothered under our ruined and wasted lives it only needs to have its earthly in crustation broken to soar upward to its na tive air. Religion is love to God and man. It is a growth, not a spasm; a life, not a transient experience ; not sad depressing, but bright and inspiring. It doea not coina like the lightning, flashing in a moment from east through all the spreading heav ens, bat like the rising son, piercing first the gathered misU with many an effectual ray, than struggling slowly inia twilight and t* lest climbing into perfaak day." LOOKING ON THB BRIGHT SIDE. The wide roan never stops to brood over evils real or imaginaary. Miny persona suffer all their misfortunes in double or triple magnitude by merely nursing their wrath. Oftentimes they endure all the pains of death in giving rein to their im agination. A cheerful heart that in the sorest affliction reflects how much better things are than they might have been, is a priceless treasure to its possessor. A certain good natu red, old Vermout farmer was once noted for possessing his equa nimity, no matter what happened to dis turb it, and the following anecdote is rela ted in illustration of his enviable faculty : The black tongue prevailed in the State His own neighborhood suffered from the effects of the plague. One of his men en tered the house, bearing the news that one of his red oxen was dead. "Is he?'* said the old man, '.well, he was an unruly case. Take off his hide and carcy it down to Fletcher's; it will bring the cash." In another hour or so the man came back with the news that the "lime-backs" were both dead. "Are they ?" said the old man ; "well, I took them of B to save a bad debt that I Hcver expected to get; it's lucky it isn't the bnndle, Take their hides down to Fletcher's—they 11 bring the cash." After the lapse of an hour * more, the man returned to tell him the brindle was dead. "Is he?" said the old philoso pher; "well be was a very old ox. Take off his hide aod take it down to Fletcher's it's worth the cash, and will bring more than any two of the others." Hereupon his wife, taking upon herself the office of Eliphaz, reprimanded her husband severe ly, asked him if ho was not aware that hit lost was a judgment of heaven upon bin on account of bis wickedness. "Is it?" said the old fellow; "well if they will taka the judgment in cattle, it's the easiest way I can pay it." DEAD BEATS. No man ever jumps az fur as be can but once. If tbe wicked really stand on slippery places, the best thing the rightyus kan do iz to keep oph from the ice. M Position iz everything position of a comma, for instance. " Thare iz a divini ty that shapes our ends, rough hew them az we will" If I was called upon to say how I thought the devil looked and asked, I should kom pare him to the man who sells rum by tbe glass and never drinks enny himself. Wits are like hornets—they have but few intimates. Thief's are remarkable for their taking "ways Barman for their light "weighs Dairymaids for their sweet " wheys j* Boston for her ü byways Courting—homo on a furlough. I maid up mi mind, more than six months ago, that this world waVt made for phools; and when i sec a man determin ed tew go to the devil, i generally let him went. I konsider marrying for money no better than stealing it. Josn Bulikos. KNOCKED ABOUT, It is a good thing for a young man to be knocked about in the world, though his soft-hearted parents may not think so.— AH youths, or if not all, nineteen twenti eths of the sum total, enter life with a sur plussage of self-conceit. The sooner they are relieved of it the better. If, in meas uring themselves with wiser and older men they discover that it is unwarranted, and get rid of it gracefully, of their own ac cord, well and good ; if not, it is desirable, for their own sakes, that it be knocked out of them. A boy who is sent to a large school soon finds his level. His will may have been paramount at home ; but school boys aro democratic in their ideas, and if arrogant, is sure to be thrashed into a recognition of the golden rule. The world is a great public school, and it soon teachesa pupil bis Droper place.— If he has the attributes trat belong to a leader, he will be installed into the posi tion of a leader; if not, whatever his own opinion of his abilities may be, he will be compelled to fall back with the rank and file. If not destined to greatness, the next best thing which he can aspire to is re spectability ; but no man can be either truly great or respectable, who is vain, pompousj or overbearing. By the time the novice has found hts legitimate social position, be the sameiiigh or low, the probability is that the disagree able traits of bis character will be softened down or worn away. Most likely the process of abrasion will be rough, very rough ; but when it ia all over, and he be gins to see himself as others sec biip, and not as reflected in the mirror of self-con ceit, he will be very thankful that be has run the gauntlet, and arrived through by a rough road at self-knowledge. Upon the whole, whatever loving mo thers may think to the contrary, it is a good thing for youths to be knocked aboat in the world ; it makes men of them. The Washington Intelligencer, ot are cent date, says: Waiting for a car on a street corner re cently, our ear was taken by a strikingly novel, but highly expressive discrimination of classes. A couple of "colored" women were exchanging expressions of surprise at the conduct of aome third person men tioned by one, the other thereupon inquir ing : • "Was she colored or plain P -Pfim!" VOL. 6 NO. 46.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers