TT AHVEY SICKIiBn, Proprietor,
NEW SERIES,
A Democratic weekly
paper, devoted to Poll
ties News, the Arts J' s
tnd Sciences Ac. Pub- T
lished every Wedacs- fisgfefti.
day, at Tunkhannock MTJM
Wyoming County,Pa t > dyj- J-J"
By HARVEY SICKLER
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GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of genera
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JOB wonii
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he times.
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
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K UITTI/E. ATTORNEYS AT
MX LAW Office on Tioga Street ruukhannack 1 a
TTTU M PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of
W fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., lunk
hannock, Pa.
H 9. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
. Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
I. PARHISH, ATTORNEY AT LAW,
• Offre at the Court House, in Tunkhannock.
Wyoming Co. Pa- _
JW. ItlU>All*, PHYSICIAN A .SURGEON,
. will attend promptly to all calls ia his pro
fession. May be found at bis Ofli c at the Drug
Store, or at his residence on Potman Sreet, formerly
occupied by A. K. Pet kiiam Esq.
DENTISTRY.
DR, L T. BURNS has permanently located in
Tunkhannock Borough, aad rcsj ivtluily tenders
his professional service* to its citizens
Office on secoud floor, formerly occupied by Dr.
etilmaa.
v6n3otf.
£>|t ftoijtlti Ilousf,
HAIiItISHURG, I'ENNA.
The undersigned having lately pdr< based the
" BUEHLER HOUSE " property, has already com
menced su-'h alterations and improvements as will
render this old an l popular House equal, if rot supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of lisrrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronago is refpeet
fally solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TU KKIIAW'Otk, WYOMING CO., PA.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will he given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronise the Hon >.
T- B WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tunkhannock, September 11, 1661.
WORTH BR AN CHH ©TEL,
MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Wm. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the ab ito
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts
fender the house an agreeable place ol sojouin to
all who may favor it with their custom.
Win. U CORTRIGHT.
iane, 3rd, 1663
sßaits ioifl,
TOWA3ST33A., PA.
D- B. BARTLET,
(Late oft.. BBRAIXARD HOUSE, ELMIKA,N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, i- one of the LARGEST
and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
ia fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
and no paius are spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for all,
v 3, n2l, ly.
Remedial Institute
FOR SPECIAL CASES.
•A o. 11, TJond Street, J\"en> 2'orA'.
w Full Information, with the highest testimo
nials : also, a Book on Special Diseases, in a seal
ed envelope, sent Be sure and send/or
and you v foot resrretit; for, as adver
tising physicians are generally impostors , without
r eferencts no stranger should be trusted Enclose
stamp for postage,and direct to DR LAWRENCE
o. 14 Bond Street. New York. v6ulslyr.,
NEW
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing
now offers his services in this line to the citizens of
HICHOLSON and vicinity.
Those wishing to get Fits will find his shop the
place to get them.
*-50-6„„. /.XL, R. S.rr.
THE GLORY OF MAN IS STRENGTH —There
£ d L b S t ß^ tt,d lmm,diau *
Infect ftay.
''CAPITAL Jb'UX.^
BT MRS. EMILY HINTINGTON MILLET.
It was a little past twelve o'clock, and a
merry group of boys were seated on the
young grass under the trees that shaded
the academy playgrounds. A little later
and they would be scattered in every di
rection at their play : but first they must
attend to the c ontents of the well filled
pails and baskets, where their dinners are
stowed away.
"1 should like to know," said Howard
Colby, "why Joe Green never comes out
hero to eat his dinner with the rest of us,
but always sneaks otf somewhere till we all
get through."
"Guess he brings so many goodies he is
afraid we shall rob him," said another.
"Pooh '."said Will Brown, throwing
himself back on the grass, " more likely he
dos'nt bring anything at all. I beard my
father say the family must be badly pinch
ed since Mr. Green was killed ; and moth
er said she didn't pity them, for folks bad
no business to be poor and pioud,'
"Well," said Sam Merrill, "I know Mary
Green asked my mother to let her have
plain sewing to do, but then folks do that
sometimes when they aren't very poor.
"And Joe is weariug his winter clothes
all this warm weather, and his pants were
patched behind ; 1 saw them," said How
ard Colby, with a very complacent look
at his new spring suit of light gray.
"1 tell you what said Will Brown, "let's
look to morrow and see what the old fellow
does bring, any way. You know he is al
vvavs in his seat by the time the first bell
lings, and we can get a peep in his ba*ket
and then be in season for the roll call."
The boys agreed to this, all but Ned Col
lins, who had sal quietly eating his dinner
and had tak-n no part in the conversation.
Now he simply remarked, as he brushed
the crumbs from his lap, "1 can't sec what
fun there will be i:i that, and it looks mean
and sneaking to me. lam sure its none
of your business what Joe brings to eat, or
where he gets it !'
"You're always such a granny, Ned Col
lins," said Will Brown contemptuously.—
"Y'ou've got every one cf your old aunt
Sallv's notions."
Ned could not bear to be laughed at and
it made him a little angry to hear his kind
old aurt sneered at,but his eyes only flash
ed for a moment, and then he sprang up
shouting, "Hurrah boys fur a football!'
and in five minutes the whole playgrouud
was in an uproar of fun and frolic.
The next morning at the first stroke of
the bell, a half-dozen roguish faces peeped
into the school-room, and, sure enough,
there was Joe Green plying his pencil oyer
the problems of the algebra lesson. It was
but the work of an instant to hurry up in
to the little clothes room, and soon the
whole group were pressing aiound Bill
Brown as he held the mysterious basket in
bis hand. Among them, in spite of the
remonstrance ot yesterday, vves Ned Col
lins, with his face lairiy crimson with
shame or something else ; we shall see.
"It's big enough to hold u day's ratioDS
for a regiment," said Howard Collins, as
Will pulled out a nice white napkin. Next
came a whole newspaper a large one, too,
and then in the bottom of the basket was
one poor little cold ]>ututo. That was all. —
Will held it tip with a giimace, and the
bovs laughed and cheered as ioud as they
dare in the school room,
"See here," said Howard, "let us throw
it away, and till the basket with coal and
things; it will be such tun to see him open
it."
The boys agreed, and tho basket was
soon filled, and the napkin spread carefully
ou the t'>p, and before he bell commenced
tolling they were on their way down stairs.
Ned Collins was last to leave the room,
and no sooner did the last head disappear,
than, quick as flash he emptied the coal in.
to the box again, replaced the paper, and
half filled the basket, large as it was, with
the contents of the bright tin pail that auut
Sally delighted to store with dainties for
her darling's dinner. Ned was in his seat
almost as soon as the as the rest, and all
through the forenoon he looked and felt as
guilty as the others, as he saw the sly looks
and winks that wtre exchanged among them
Noon came and there was the rush
fur dinner baskets, but instead of going out
to the yard, the boys lingered about the
door and hall. Straight by them marched
Ned Collins, with his tin pail on his arm.
"Hullo, Ned," said Sam Merrill, "where
are you going now ?"
'Home," said Ned, laughing. "I saw
aunt Sallly making a chicken pie this
morning, and they can't cheat me out of
my share."
"Ask me to go, too," shouted Howard
Colby. Buljust at that moment they spied
Joe Green carrying his basket into the
school room.
"I should think he would suspect some
thing," whispered Will Brown, "that coal
must be awful heavy."
Joe disappeared into the school room
and the curious eyes peeped through the
crack in the door were soon rewarded by
seeing him open his basket. "Hope his
dinner won't lie hard ou his 6tomach,"
whispered Howard Colby. But appareut
ly be only wished to get bis paper to read
for he took it by the corner and pulled, but
it was fast. He looked at it in surprise,and
then in a sort of bewildered way took out
a couple of aunt Sally's great crisp dough
nuts, then one of the delicious round pies lie
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RI^TS."— Thomas Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 1867.
had so often seen in Ned's hands—bread
and butter, and such honey as nobedy's
bees but hers ever made, and the plump
white breast of a chicken. It was a
dinner fit fcr a king, so thought poor Joe
as they peeped wonderingly from their
hiding places. But Joe did not offer to
taste it ; he only sat there and looked at it
with a very pale lace, over which the tears
began presently to flow very fast. Then he
'aid his head on his desk, and Freddy Wil
son, one of the smallest of the boys whis
pered, "I guess he's pravisg so they all
stole away to the playground without
speaking another word.
"That's some of Ned Collins' work,"
said Will Brown, after a while, "it's just
like him."
"I'm glad of it, any way," said Sam Mer
rill, "I've felt as mean all the forenoon as
if I had been robbing a ben roost. The
Greens are not to blame for having only
cold potatpes to eat, aud I dou't wonder
that Joe did'nt want all of us fellows to
know it."
"I like Joe Green best of any boy in
school," said little Freddy Wilson, "and
think it was too bad to try and make fun of
him."
"Nobody asked you what you thought
said Will Brown, fiercely ; "wait till yout
opinion is called for."
The little boy looked very meek, and ate
his dinner in silence, but the fact was, Will
Brown began to feel uncomfortable.
"Father says Mr. Greeu was the bravest
roan in the company," said Sam Merrill,
•'and that he wouldn't have been killed on
ly he thought of every one else before him
self."
"I tell you what, boys," said good natur
ed Tom Granger, "1 move and second that
we are ashamed of ourselves, ail in favor
of this motion will signify it by giving three
cheers for Ned Collins—there he comes
this minute, brim full of chicken pit."
The boys sprang to their feet, and swing
ing their caps in the air, gave three hearty
cheers for Ned Collins, and even ITiil
Brown joined in the chorus with as loud
a "hurrah" as any of them. Sam Merrill
explained the whole matter to Ned Collins
anil he only said in reply, "I've often heard
aunt Sally say that 'it was A poor kind of
fun that must be earned by hurting some
body's feelings,' and what aunt Sallys says
is most always so."
SPlCY.—There was a knot of sea cap
tains in a store at Ilonlulu, the keeper of
which had just brought a barrel of black
pepper. Old Captain , of Salem,
came in, and seeing the pepper, took up a
handful of it.
"What do you buy such stuff as that
for V* said he to the storekeeper, ''it's half
peas."
"Peas !' replied the storekeeper; "there
isn't a pea in it."
Taking up a handful as he spoke, be ap
pealed tu the company. They all looked
at it, and plunged their hands into the
barrel, and bit a kernel or so, and then
gave it as their universal opinion,that there
wasn't a pea in it,
'1 tell you there is," said the old cap
tain. again scooping up a handful j 1 "and
I II bet a dollar on it."
The old Boston argument all over the
world, They took him up.
"Well," said he, "spell that," pointing to
the word "P-e-p-p or," painted on the side
of the barrel. "If it isn't half ps, then I'm
no Judge, that's all."
The bet was paid.
JOSH BILLINGS ON ROBIN REDBREAST.—
The red breasted rdbin is a bird muchly
doted onto *bv seminary gurls and poits.
I Gentlemen farmistes incurridg the rob
ing becos he swallereth insex when he can't
get any sno or anything else to eat.
But practicle farmists and fruit growists
don't see it.
I was onest a gentleman farraist.
I am not so gentle as I was.
I go for real fanning, making my pile of
manoor and raising things to eat.
I useted to listen for the robbing's mat
ting lay and his evening carol, but I found
out that he singeth only to seduce femail
robbings ; and that where he ait five insex
he ait quarts of cherries, strawberrries, cur
rants, raspberries, and then pitch into the
mellerest Barllett pairs.
I found that mv fruit crop agreed too
well with Mr. Robbing's crop.
His wobbling to his femail friends at
evening didu't pay for his gobbling fruit all
day.
And so, my friends, when the swete re J
breast gets fat on the eggspensive produck
of northern gardens, and flocks southward
to fill unsentimental pot-pies, I bid adoo
without regret.
GsT The midnight meetings for the rec
lamation of fallen women have been in op
eration in London for five years with the
following result: Five hundred and eighty
three women were restored to parents and
friends, 1,800 were placed in service, 66
married, 5 were reconciled to their hus
bands, 400 weie assistted to obtain employ
ment, 4 emigrated, 4 were sent home to
the Continent, 2 were established in busi
ness, 274 left or were dismissed, and 250
were sent to the hospitals.
£3" The Jacobin newspapers in default
of anything else to shout over, are jubilant
at the result of the Chicago municipal ma
jorities in that city for the past three years.
Jacobiu majority in iB6O, 5,619
Jacobin majority in 1866, 6,867
Jacobin majority in 1867, 3,938
These figures show that the Jacobin gain
like the Irishman's gun, 'shoots backward,'
The Democracy also gained four members
of the City Council,
HOW A LADY-KILLER WAS VICTIM
IZED.
We learned of a practical joke, a few
day ago, that was played off upon one
of our fancy young men—one of the OKNUS
"lady-killers"—that is really too good to
keep.
The young man who was the hero of
this "comedy of errors" has a very flatter
ing friend in his looking glass. He sports
a "killing" moustache that owes its glossy
blackness to the inventive genius of the
barber, and sports a stunning neck-tie of
the Highland pattern. He also swings a
rattan, and imagines that ererv lady who
glances in his direction falls irrevocably,
consumedly, and heels —if ladies possess
lfeels—over head in love w.ith him. It
was the result of. this amiable weakness
that got him into the scrape we are now
recording.
There dwells in this city—on which
street is nobody's business—a young mar
ried couple. This couple—as sometimes
happens to wedded pairs—have a baby.—
This baby possesses an appendage in the
shape of a nurse. The nurse is quite at
tractive, both in person and in form. Our
Adonis gazed upon her fuir face, and the
handful of muscle beneath his vest, yclept
a heart, immediately began to palpitate vi
olently,—proof positive that Dau Cupip
was beating the ."devil's tattoo," around
in that neighborhood. Being unaquainted
with the diaperipic charmer he concluded
to declare his passion with the pen, which
is mightier than Beast Butler's sword.
He wrote. What his letter contained
we ought not to make public, but as it is
so excellent a specimen of that style of
literature, and not to be found in any ap
proved edition of "The Ready Letter
Writer," we insert it right here:
"DEC. THE 23, 1866.
"BBLUVED ORRL, —You air the darling
of my heart: appi! of mv i. I luves you
tenderly and trool v, and if you can on
ly luv me we can be liappy* Rite to me
my dearest, and let we no when I can see
you. Send your answer to 213,
street, and believe me ever your
oan,
it .
What woman's heart could withstand
such an assault? We do not know what
effect it would have had upon the fair dan
dler of infants, and we know 60 little of
womankind that we dare not venture a
guess. The letter did not tall into her
hands, and we are not free to say she
could have read it if it had. It miscarried
love missions sometimes will. It fell
into her mistress' hands, and she being one
of those wild fun-loving bunches of hu
manity, that will be found wrapped in
thirteen yards of calico, aud standing in
No 3 gaiters, showed it to her husband,
and between them they plotted a sore sur
prise for our poor "lover."
They have in their domestic economy
an institution known as a cook, who, by
some strange treak of nature, lias a face
the color of midnight, whitewashed with
lampblack. This cook aud the nurse are
about the same size, and one could be very
readily mistaken for the other, at some
little distance, by a bljnd man on a dark
night.
These wedded conspirators against a
young man's happiness, laid their heads
together, and hatched out a cruel plot.
The wife wrote a note to the ardent,
infatuated youth, in which she informed
him that on a certain night the master and
mistress would be absent from home, and
she would have the house all to herself.
If he wished to prosecute her acquaintance
that would be a favorable opportunity.—
The bait was alluring, and he swallowed
it without trouble.
On the night designated he made bis
appearance at the door.
He knocked.
It was opened.
The gas was turned down.
A semi-darkr.ess prevailed in the apart
ment —a verp fair imitation of twilight, the
peninsula that stretches between day and
night.
The young lady wore a vail. It did
not conceal her youthful, voluptuous form,
but it did hide her face from the ardent
eye that sought to send its fiery glances
through its meshes.
He entered, and the door closed be
tween him and the dark unsympathizing
world, leaving him alone with the dear de
lightful creature, whose very .presence
w.s bliss.
He fell upon his knees befor the adored
one.
Love's tale was poured from his lips,
even as it fell from those of the first man
when he wooed the first woman.
She sat and listened to the sweet story.
She placed her gloved bands to ber veiled
face, and shook with emotion as the aspen
shakes from neivousness.
At length the inner door opened, the
gas wis turned up, and the master and mis
tress stood iu the presence of the kneeling
lover.
The latter approached tho fair culprit.
She raised the veil.
Lo ! his vows had been made to -A
NEGRO!
Tableau—A gentleman and lady and
acgro wench convulsed with laughter; a
young man rusbiug from a suddenly open
ed door, and a coat-tail disappearing down
the street-
Moral—When you go a courting, see
that the £as is not turned down, and that
your inamorata does not wear a veil,—
Louisville Journal.
WHY THERE II XO MONEY TO PAY
BOUNTIES AND PENSIONS.
Forney' Press has the following:
"The Secretary of War will be com
pelled to issue an order suspending the
payment of additional or other bounties
to soldiers and their heirs, until some ap
propriation for that purpose is made by
Congress, the funds already appropriated
being exhausted. As Congress will not
in all probability meet again until Decem
ber, the soldiers and their families must
make up their minds to bear 6ome further
delay."
This is the direct result of the reck
less expenditures authorized by the Radic
als in the Rump Congress, Hundreds of
thousands of dollars were squandered with
in the past year for the mere purpose of
making political capital for the Radical
party, and to satisfy the insatiable appe
tites of its leadeis for plunder. About
five thousand dollars were taken from the
Federal Treasury to pay the extra " com
pensation" to the members of Rump No.
1, Several million dollars wore taken to
pay the twenty per cent, additional com
pensation authorized to department clerks*
About forty : five thousand dollars were
distributed to the worthless negroes in
Washington City, in addition to the regu
lar support of the Negro Bureau. Hun
dreds of thousands of dollars were wasted
in carrying on the New Orleans negro ri
ot investigation and sowing the country
broadcast with a voluminous and costly
report of •'testimony." An equally heavy
sum has disappeared in Ashley's
insane political project of impeachment.
Millions have gone into the pockets of po
litical favorites through a most corrupt
system of private legislation. Five hun
dred thousand dollars were set aside to
commence the execution of the satrap bills,
but, during the first two months, over
twenty-four million dollars were expended
by the War Department, and the end of
the year will bring the bills up to at least
one hundred and forty millions !
These are some of the channels through
which the income of the Government has
gone out, leaving nothing with which to
pay the soldiers' bounties and pensions.
But the whole trouble does consist in the
enlargement of the channels of expendi
ture. The channels of income have been
clogged and closed up. The exemption
list was enlarged, by which less revenue
is derived from incomes. Then, the inau
guration of a despotic and destructive
policy of government for the Southern
States has retarded the material prosperi
ty* of ten great States, and kept out of the
Federal Treasury millions of dollars which
should have gone into it during the past year
and will cause the loss of huudreds of million
which, under an enlightened policy, should
be realized during the ensuing year. Dis
franchisement is paralyzing the hands of
hundreds of thousands of Southern men
who are willing and anxious to engage in
planting and other industrial pursuits.—
Outlawed and made politically powerless
to protect themselves or their property,
they can leel no interest in the welfare of
flie Government. Lender the negro Rad
ical despotisms now in process of forma
tion they will have no rights which ane
gro wiil be bound to respect. To add to
these disabilities and misfortunes, "mild
confiscation" is threatened by one branch
of the Radical leadership and "rigorous
and universal confiscation" by another
branch, so there is nothing left for the
rightful owners of the soil and latent
wealth of those States to do but to await
in silence and apathy the last blow which
is to make them beggars as well as out
laws.
This course of the Radical leaders to
wards the Southern people has not only
prevented the flow of revenue from the
Southern States but has largely cut down
the income from the Northern States. At
this time —two years after the final
close of the war—every Northern factory
and workshop should be busy, employing
every willyig pair of hands to be Jiired, ifi
turning out machinery and fabrics for
Southern consumption. But such is not
the state of affairs. The people of the
outlawed States, crushed and threatened
as they are, have no need of farming im
plements or machinery; consequently
thousands of Northern work-people are
idle and less revenue goes from the North
ern States into the Federal Treasury.—
Hence, with these drawbacks and the
reckless and infamous squanderings of the
Rump Congress, there is no money to pay
soldiers' bounties and pensions, and "the
soldiers and their families must make up
their minds to bear some further delay."
Had the Constitution been taken as a
governing principle by the Radical lead
ers, there would be no necessity for delay.
The Union was restored by the Federal
soldiers when the last rebel army laid
down its arms, ancl from that time forth
the Southern States were entitled to rep
resentation and a share in their own gov
ernment, through men of good character
for truth, honesty and patriotism. The
Constitution grants authority to Congress
to determine the "elections and qualifica
tions of its members," and in that grant
the Government possessed every safeguard
against a renewal of secession in high
places. The resort to .the unauthorized
and destructive plan of reducing States to
a territorial condition, as a punishment
for individual crimes, has resulted as dis
astrously, as was to bo expected from a
scheme so unlawful, unjustifiable and des
potic. These tacts should be carefully
pondered by not only those who auffer
TERMS, SA.OO PER JKJFNTO^K
from delayed bounties but by everyJNorth
ern manufacturer and workingman.-—Po
triot & Union.
The Journal of Commerce alludes to the
opinion of an eminent Judge, speaking the
▼oicc of one of the highest courts in Eng
land, declaring that martial law cannot be
proclaimed by the crown. This sentiment,
the editor says, has arrested the attention
of many who have beenjled astray by per
sons in this country. The editor thinks—
"It is not a subject of congratulation to
us at this late day, that we must look to
England for the assertion of the great prin
ciples of liberty. * * * •
In America we have drifted very far
away from the truths on which the doctrine
if based. We have been taught that the
war power of the government suspended
all civil law, overruled "all constitutional
provisions and immunities; and people who
do not read law books have gotten very
generally iuto the notion that martial law
is one ot the ordinary arms ofjustice, wield
ed by the government and to be resorted to
in any emergency. Men once esteemed
good lawyers have been misled to teaching
the same doctrine, and a strange medley
now remains as the result of their efforts to
show that martial law and military law are
identical. Sortboroughly have the people
adopted the views of the passionate school,
tli3t Congress has actually been permitted
substantially to declare martial law over a
large portion of the country in a time of pro
found peace, and the anomaly is presented
in a republican nation exercising a power
which the highest authority in England de
clares cannot be exercised by the monarch
ofCreat iiritain, even in time of war. It
seems to bo beyond dispute that we b&va
lost a good part of our education in free
principles. And the serious question is,
whether we are on the way toward a recovery
of what we have lust, or whether ire are not
losing, more and more. It is not a new
thing for men to be lost in fogs or in the
woods--and when they think themselves on
the road out. or find that they have been
moving in a circle. So oftentimes with
what ardent people call "progress." Tha
road seems easy, and the looking
back on despotism, think thev are rapidly
advancing, in light and liberty— hut find
that they have only swept around the mys
t rious circle'and are traveling into iht old
gloom and horror which they believed they
were leaving far behind.
A DUEL AND ITS CONSEQUENCES.—AN
amusing duel took place recently about
five miles from Havana. It originated in
a remark made by a man to his friend on
seeing a lady coming out of church. The
lady was unknown to the person making
the remark, but happened to be the other's
wife. A slap in the face was the conse
quence, aDd a challenge came soon after.
This was accepted, and the seconds select
ed a place. The wife got wind of the af
fair, and immediately took steps to pre
vent the dreadful catastrophe. Her first
thought was to notify the police, bot that
might have given her husband the reputa
tion of a coward, and she took abetter
method by going to the house of'theothar
party, where she met his wife, and a plan
was soon concocted between the feminir.es,
On the morning appointed for the duel
both husbands got up early; wives ditto.
Husbands took carriages, and their wives
—one armed with five shildren and the
other with three—took other vehicles in
waiting. When the two duelists arrived
at the spot, they were somewhat astonish
ed on seeing the two other carriages drive
up with their passengers, who coolly in
formed the men that they also had come
to fight, so as to make it a complete fami
ly quarrel, each at the same time produced
an empty purse and a package of baby
linen as their arms and munitions of war.
The little ones had popguns and fire crack
ers, an'd soon some indulged in a cry . It
is useless to add that the blood-thirsty
Benedicks made peace on the spot, and re
turned to Havanna in company with their
seconds to celebrate the affair over a cham
pagne dinner.
feW An editor in Illinois recently saw
a patent clothes washer. It was in the
shape of a wheelbarrow. The revolution*
of the wheel put in motion a crank that
moved the plunger that pounded the
clothes. The body of the box w*s mount
ed where the load is in a wheelbarrow.
On the top of the box was a wringer. A
lady can put her clothes in the machines,
pick it up and go out calling ; the longer
her list of friends the further she will have
to wheel her burden and the better her
clothes will be washed. Calling will then
be of some use, and an eternal gadabout
will become a first rate washerwoman.
few Beast Butler is more persecuted
out of the Bump Junta than in it. All
sorts of jokes respecting him are scribbled
on the walls of hotels and public buildings.
He boarded at the Kirkwood House, and
when that establishment was closed by the
landlord's creditors, a story waa started
that the hotel was shut up because one of
the boarders had stolen all the spoona. Af
ter a week of horrible rainy weather some
body wrote on the wall at Wizard's Hotel:
" What makes the clouds ao black this
week? Answer—because Butler has stolen
their silver linings.
VOL. 6 NO. 41.
MARTIAL LAW.