.yr A-Tl-CEY SICEIjEH, Proprietor, NEW SERIES, A weakly Democratic —. paper, davoted to Poll ' 1 ties News, the Arts •nd Sciences Ac. Pnb- "j% t /"/'& ' lished overjr We does- I 4*7, at Tunkhannock 7(| Wyoming County,Pa ■' \ : fJ— BY HARVEY SICKLER Terms—l copy 1 yenr, (in advance) f'2,00 if •et paid within sis months, $2.50 will he chaged N Isis, make three ; j our t uo three six one one square iceeka,' tcee^s i mo 'ff l 'mo'lh,miitlt year i Square 1,00 1.25 2.25 3,0 5,00 I do. 2,00' 250 325 3.50 4 5 0,00 X do. 3,01 i 3>f' 475 5,50 7,00 9,10 | Column. 4,00 4.0u, w.ol 1 8,00. 10.tt' 15,00 * do. 6,00 650 10 00 12,00 17,00 25,00 I do. 8,00 7,0 C 14,00 18,00 25,00 35,60 1 do. 10,00 1 12,00 17,00 22,00,28,00 40,00 EXECUTORS, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI TOR'S NOTICES, of the usual length, 82,50 OITTCARIES- exceeding ten lines, each ; RELI GIOUS and LITERARY NOTICES, not of genera nterest, one half tne regular rates. Business Cards of one square, with paper, S3. joe woeh: •fall kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit ho times. Ail TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB WORK must be paid for, when ordered stosiitfss Jtofirrs. Rk.&iv buttles, attorneys at LAW Office on Tioga Street Tunkhanunck Pa WM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW Of, fice in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tunk hauaock, Pa. Hffi. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON • Newton Centre, Luzerne County I'a. eTPARKISH, ATTORNEY AI LAW, • Offi-e at the Court House, ia Tunkhannock Wyoming Co. Pa. JW. KIIOADS, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, • willjattend promptly to all Mill in his pro fession. May be found at bis Office at the Drug Store, or at his residence on Puttnan Srcet, formerly occupied by A. K. Peckham Esq. DENTISTRY. . • * > t . *S{ % '.. ; \; • . wBUM DR. L T. BURNS has pcrmannritlv located in Tunkbannuck Borough, and resi eetfaiiy tenders hii professional services to its citizens. Office on second floor, formerly occurded by Dr. Milinan. T6n3otf. Birrjffn; |)au HA'UinsUl lIG, PKNNA. The undersigned having lately nnr the • 4 BIKHLLii HOI 8E " peperty, ku already eous meaced sa.'h alterations and improvement? n will render this old and popular II ,use equal, if not supe rior, to any Hotel in !be City of Harrisburg. A continuance of the public patronage is refpet fally solicited. GEO. J. BOLTON WALL'S HOTEL, LATE AMERICAN 7ICUSE s TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA. TTIS establishment has recently been refitted an furnished in the latest style Every attention will he given to the comfort and convenience of those wh# patronize the House. T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor-; Tunkhannock, September 11. 1861. WORTH BRANCH HOTEL, MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA Wm. H. CORTRIGHT, Prop'r Having resumed the proprietorship of tiie above i Hotel, the undersigned will spare no efforts ! reoder the house an agreeable place ot sojourn to all who may favor it with their custom. Wm.li CCftTPJGIIT. I June, 3rd, 1863 llfans l)oirl, TOW2YTCT IdiY, PiK. p. B. BARTLET, fLat of tu PBnaiNAnn House, Ei.miba, N. Y. PROPRIETOR. The MEANS HOTEL, i< one of the LARGEST and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—l< U fitted up in the most modern and improved style, and no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and agreeable stopping-place for all, v 3, n2l, ly. Remedial Institute for special cases A'o. /4 'Jioml Street, A "ew York. xzr Full information, with the highest testimo- ' uials ; also, a Book on Special Diseases, in a seal ed envelope , sent free. f ]}e sure and send for Uhem, and you will not regret it; for, as adver tising physicians are gen<- .illy impostors , without references no stranger sl ould be trusted Enclose a stamp for postage,and direct to-DR. LAWRENCE No. 14 Bond Street. New York. v6n!slyr., NEW TAILORING SHOP The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac tieal experience in cutting and making clothing now offers his services in this line to the citizens of NICHOLSOM AND vicinity. Those wishing to got Fits will find his shop fte place to get them. „ _ Joel, R, Smith vfr-nSO-6njos MIKLMBOLp'S EXTRACT BTJCRU gives health and vigor to the frame and bloom to the palid ueek. D ebility is acco apinie lby many alarming ymptoma, and if no treat neat is submitted to, eon. 1 mgHwa, inaautlty, or epiteptle fits ensue. UNCLE'S RETURN. An elderly man, shabbily attired, was seen walking through one of the fashiona ble streets iu a large city one cold Decem ber morning, supported by a large staff which he grasped firmly in one hand, while from his other swung a bundle wrap ped in a coarse.cotton handkerchief. His coat was of coarse gray, and he had evi dently seer, hard service, though still per fectly whole and neat. The traveler walked slowly along, as I have said; ex amining careiully as he passed, the names on the door plates, lie finally paused he fore a dwelling of showy exterior, which if we may credit the testimony of the plate upon the door, was occupied by Alexander Beaumont "Alexander Beaumont! yes that's the house,'" murmured the traveller to himself, as he ascended the steps and rang the door bell. Ilis summons were answered by a ser vant, who after a moment's scrutiny, which apparently was not of a very favorable character, said roughly: "Well, sir, what do you want ?*' "Is Air. Beaumont at home?" said the old man, without heeding the intentional rudeness, "No, sir he is not." "Then perhaps I can see his wife." "I think it very doubtful, but I will see," and the servant withdrew without inviting the old man to enter, though the day was C'-hl and his clothing seemed hardly suffi cient to protect him from its inclemency. Mrs. Beaumont \ Va s reclining on a fateu il in a room handsomely furnished. The last new magazine was in her hand, and lvr eye was listlessly glancing over its pages. She was interrupted in her read ing bv the entrance of the servant. "Well, what now, Betty ?" she inquired. "There's a man dowu stairs wants to see vou, ma'am." "A man ! a gentleman, you mean 7" "No ma'am," said Betty, stoutly, for she well understood what made up a gentle man in the conventional sense of the terra; "it isn't a gentleman at all, for he doesn't wear any gloves.' "What can he want of me?" "I don't know, I'm sure; he inquired after Mr. Beaumont first." "You didn't bring him in the parlor did you ?" The girl shook her head. "You did right, and you had better tell hint I'm not at home." "Mrs, Beaumont is not at home," said Betty, re-appearing at the door. "I suppose that means that she is en gaged," said the old man ; "but I think die will see me when she learns who I am.— Tell her that I am her husband's uncle, and my name is Henry Beaumont," "That old rag-tag master's uncle !" said Bolt*. wondering!}, as she ascended the stairs. "Ma'am, .he says he is Mr. Beaumont's uncle, and he wants to see you." "Good heavens!" said mistress; "if it isn't that ol 1 vagrant, that strayed off years ago nobody knows where. I did hope he would never come back again. And now I suppose lie is as poor as a rat, and wants help. Well, he won't get it if 1 can pre vent it. 1 suppose I must see liim," The lady descended, full* prepared to give the visitor a frigid reception. "I am not mistaken,'' sai l the old man, with feeling. "This is my nephew Alex ander's wife." "You are right, sir. lam the wife of Mr. Alexander's Beaumont; and I sup pose from your language, you are—" "Ilis Uncle Henry. Ah me; I have been gone many years, and it does me good to return once more among my kin dred" The old man leaned upon his staff, and his features worked convulsively as tho'ts of the past came over his mind. Mrs Beaumont stood holding the door as if waiting for him to depart. She did not give him any invitation to enter. "Is vonr husband well?" inquired the visitor, looking wistfully in, as if he ex pec ted an invitation to enter, and refresh himself after his walk by an interval of rest. "He ia not. If you have any message for him you can leave it with me, and I will deliver it," said Mrs. Beaumont, desirous of ridding herself of the intruder as speedi ly as possible. "You may tell him I have called," said the visitor, in a disappointed tone, "and that I would like to have seen him." "I will tell him," and Mrs. Beaumont was about to close the door. "Hold! there is one question more.— What became of Alexander's sister An na ?" "She! I don't know nruch about her," was the rather disdainful reply; "but I be lieve she married a clerk, mechanic, or some such pprson. His name is Lowe, and he lives in Norton street. Is that all?" "That is all!"' a"d the oFd man turned his steps towards the indicated, with manv forebodings lest Lis second visit might ba as unwelcome as the first ap peared to be. "Betty," said Mrs. Beaumont, as she closed the door, "if that fool comes again be sure and tell him I am not at home. Norton street was not a fashionable, street, nor was the two story dwelling oc cupied by William Lowe either handsome or costly. It was marked however, by an air of neatness which indicated that its TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S SIGHTS."—Thomas Jefferson, TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 1, 1867. tenants were not regardless of outward ap pearances. We will take the liberty to introduce you into the little sifting room where Mrs. Lowe and her three children are even now seated. A plain serviceable carpet covered the floor, and the remainder of the furniture, though of a kind which would hardly be selected for a drawing room had a comfortable, home-like ap pearance, which amply satisfied the de sires of those who derived thfeir happiness from a higher aud less mutable source than outside show. Mr-fi. Lowe was seated in a rocking chair, engaged in an employment which I am aware is tabooed in all fashionable so ciety—T mean darning stockings. Emma, a girl of ten, was brushing up the hearth, which the ashes from the grate, in which a blazing fire was now burning, had somewhat disordered ; while Mary, who was two years younger, was reading. Charlie, a little rogue of five, with a smiling face which could not help looking roguish, was stroking the cat the wrong way, much to the- disturbance of poor Tabby, who had quietly settled her self down to pleasant . dreams upon the hearth rug. Ail at once a knock was heard at the door. "Emma," said her mother, "you may go to the door and see who it is, and invito them in, for it is a cold day." Emma obeyed her mother's direction. "Is Mrs. Lowe at home?" inquiied Henry Beaumont—for it was he. "Yes, sir," said Emma; please come in and you shall see her." So she ushered the old man into the comfortable sitting room. Mrs Lowe rose to receive him. " "I believe," said lie, "I am not mistaken in thinking that your name before mar riage was Emma Beaumont." "You are right sir, that was my name." "And you have no recollection of an uucle who wandered away from home and friends, and from whom no tidings have come for many a long year ?" "Yes. sir, I remember him well —my uncle Hen r y; and I have many times wished I couid learn something of him.— Can you give me any intorination ?" "I can, for I am lie. "You my uncle T' said Mrs. Lowe, in surprise; "then you are indeed welcome. Emma bring your uncle the arm chair, and place it close to the fire, and Mary, bring your father's slippers, for I am sure your uncle must long to get off* those heavy boots. And now. uncle, when you are qwite rested, T must demand a recital of your adventures." " But your brother Alexander," inter rupted Mr. Beaumont; l°t me first in quire about him. He lives in this city, docs he not ?" A slight cloud came over Mrs, Lowe's face. "Yes," says she,"he does live in the city; yet strange as it may appear, I seldom or never see him, lie has succeeded well, and is wealthy; but ever stnee lie married with a wife of small property and greater pri le, he has kept aloof from us. Ido not so much blame him as his wife, who is said to have great influence over him. L have called once, but she treated me so coldly that I have not felt the disposition to re new my visit." "I can easily believe it," was the reply, " for I tpo have been repulsed." " You repulsed ! did you give your name and inform her of your relation to her husband ?" '* I did ; but she did not even invito me to enter; and as she was evidently impa tient forme to be goiie, I took the hiut, and here I am." "At least uncle," said Mrs. Lowe, smil ing, "you fear no repulse here." "Of that lam quite sure," said the old gentleman, looking affectionately in the face of his niece. " Bnf you have not told me of your husband Let me hear now whetVer you have made a good match," lie added playfully. 41 That depends upon what is meant by the term. If it implies a rich husband, then I have failed most certainly, for William's salary is only eight hundred dollars a year and that is what ws have to depend upon, i But for all that I care not, for a kind and affectionate husband is of far more worth than a magnificent dwelling and costly fur niture." " You are right," said her uncle, warmly; "and I infer that your husband is of such a character." 44 He is, in truth." 44 Still," continued her uncle, "there must be some tilings which your limited income will not permit you to obtain, but which would be desirable, are there not ?" 44 Yes," said Mrs. Lowe. 4 T am anx ious to give Emma and Mary a mulsical education ; but William's means will not allow of such a piece of extravagance as the purchase of a piano, so jhal is one of the things which we must bo content to deny ourselves," Mr. Lowe had entered ; and being in formed of the character of his visitor, ex tended to him a warm welcome. A com fortable repast was soon spread, of which Mr. Beaumont partook heartily. His spir its rose and he seemed to grow younger, as he saw the cheerful faces around him, and felt himself more at home. Soon offer the eveuing meal, he rose to depart. "Surely you are uot going," said his niece "You must henceforth take up your abode with us." I 44 We will see about that, and if you don't think you will got tired of me, per haps I will oo me, Bot I have hired a lodging and must undoubtedly remain in it for a few days." • 44 But you must call in every day and make yourself perfectly at home, even be fore you come here to stay," persisted the wife. "Be assured of that." In accordance with his promise, Mr. Beaumont made his appearance tho next day at about eh-ven o'clock, and was re ceived as cordially as before. He had scarcely been in the house a quarter of an hour whea a loud rap was heard at the door. Mrs. Lowe answered it. She be held two men who bad driven up in a wag on. " Where is this piano to be put ma'am ?' they inquired. "Piano! you have made a mistake, — We have not purchased a piano." " Isn't your name Mrs. Lowe f" "Yes." "JThen it's all right. Jim bear a hand, for it is confounded heavy." "But I am sure there must be some mistake," persisted the perplexed Mrs. Lowe. " Not at all," said a voice behind her. She turned around in amazement. " You know,"' continued her uncle, " that I am going to live with you, and 1 thought I would pay my board in advance, that i all. As you expressed a wish yesterday for a piano, I thought that it would be as acceptable away ofdoiag it as any'" " You. uncle! Why—excuse me—but I thought from —from—" "You mean," said he, smiling, "that you thought i'mm my appearance that I could not atfbid it. And I confess," said he, casting a glance at himself in the glass " that my dress is not the extreme of fash-, ion, an/1 in fact I was obliged to look some time when I called at the second-hand clothing house the other day before I could find Miese. However, as I have got all the service that I wished out of them, I shall throw them aside to-morrow, and ap pear rather more respectably clad." " What! are you wealthy, uncle?" " Depend upon it Anna, I didn't spend ton years in the E tsf lodies, for nothing," was the reply. "I had a mind, however, to put on the appearance of a poor man, and so teund not at home ; I ;un happy jto find myself at home with the other." Let us return to the aristocratic Mrs. Beaumont, who in aiew mornings succeed ing the events here recorded, was in her drawing-room receiving morning calls. "By the way," said a fashionable visitor, " I am to have your, relatives, the Lowes, for next door neighbor-." "Next door neighbors!" exclaimed Mrs. Beaumont, in amazement. "What do vou mean ?" " Is it passible that you have not heard of their good fort mi; ? Mrs. Lowe's uncle has just returned from the East Indies with an immense fortune. He has taken for her a house in the same block with ours, and, when they have moved into it, will •take up his residence with them. Mean while he is stopping at the R—■— House. "What'/Henry Beaumont!" "The same; but I thought you knew it." " When the visitor withdrew, Mrs. Beau inont ordered a carriage, and immediately drove to the hotel where her husband's une'e was stopping. She sent i p her card, and requested an audience. The servant soon returned with another card, on which were traced those signifi cant words " NOT AT HOME." YOUTHFUL PATRIOTISM. Everybody has heard of the Irish urchin who was thrashed by his father for attend ing a Native American meeting and after war ,1s informed a companion that "lie didn't sojnuch care about being whipped if it had not. been done by a foreigner." The Rev. Dr. Thomas tells the f Howing story of his experience with a little shaver of his own. I had a little son of of about four years old, a very bright and promising fellow.— During m}' temporary absence from home his mother read to him the story of the Revolutionary War. The little fellow treasured up the narratives of the battle field until his youthful patriotism was kin dled to a flame* I returned home late in the evening, and while at breakfast the morning he came and seated himself in si lence. He withheld the familiar welcome —the customary kiss. Evidently bis mind was engrossed with something. He sat blooding over his topic for a few moments, and then turning to me. he said, "Father, are you Brittish ?" "Mv son," said I, "I had the good or bad fortune to be born in England, but, like the Irishman, I was bro't over here so early I became a native."— " Well sir," 6aid he, his childish face all aglow, and shaking his little fist at me, "we whipped you once, and we can do it again !" "Where are you going so fast, Mr. Smith ?" demanded Mr, Jones. "Homo, sir, home, don't detain me ; I have just bought my wife a nctv bonnet, and I must deliver it before the fashion changes. Never purchase love or friendship by gifts, for when thus obtained they are i lost as soon as you stop payment. SHUT THE DOOR. Many of the highest as well as the low est traits of the human character are often made known by very simple means. And very important principles in ethics, natu ral philosophy and mechanics have been discovered by accidents, incidents and de tails which are common in domestic life; but who would have thought, in olden times, ot consulting with a four-pannellcd door, as a philriophic and metaphysical friend, to obtain a knowledge of the hidden mysteries and the general effects of a hu man mind ? During the last ten years in the winter season, according to our daily record, we have noticed the manner in which 1,000 persons who called for work have opened, shut, or not shut, our store doorithis you mav sav, is a futile and a un dertaking; but we entertain a very differt ent opinion. What tho facts, wha the deduction ? First, out of the 1,000 persons recorded, 355 opened the door and shut it after them carefullv when they came in, and when they went out with much noise. Secondly, 226 opened it in a hurry and made an attempt to shut it after them care fully when they came in, and when they went out with much noise. Secondly. 226 opened it in a hurry and niaoe an attempt to shut it, but did not, and merely pulled it too when they went • out. Thirdly, 202 did not atte'mpt to shut it at all. either in coming in or going out. Fourthly, D 6 left it open when they came in. but when reminded of the Fact made ample apology, and shut it when they wont ont. Fifthly, 102 opened it in a great hurry and then slammed it too violently, but left it open when they went out. Sixthly, 20 came in with "how do yon do, sir," - or "good mor.ing," or "good evening sir," and all these went through the operation of wiping their feet on the mat, but did not shut the door when they came in nor when they went out. REMARKS. —We have employed men out of all the above clasps, and during that time have had an opportunity of judging of their merits, etc. The first class of 355 were those who knew their trade, and commenced and finished their work in a methodical man ner, were quiet, had but iittle to say in their working hours, and were approved of by those for whom we did the work.— They were punctual to time, and left noth ing undone which they had been ordered to do. Tuey did not complain about tri— IDs, and in all respect, they were reliable inert, and were kind and obliging in their general conduct. Class the second, 226. These were not methodical in tiieir work, had much to talk about, were generally late but were willing to quit work early. They were always in a hurry when we overlooked them, but they did not do s 0 much work in the same time as class the firt, and oft en left iittle tilings unfinished, and if thev were tokl of it, would make trifling excuses, but highly extol their own abilities. Class tiie third, 202. These were neg ligent in personal appearance and in t heir work. They talked much about their own good qualities, and were better acquainted with the business and domestic habits of their iieigbbors than with their own They also belonged to the temperence so ciety when first set to work, but in a few days afterward their breath would smell more like an old rum cask than that of humati beings. These men were not steady at their work, were always short of money, and cdnld not be relied on with re gard to truth and honesty. ( lass the fourth, 00. These were care less in their manner of work, committed many errors, but when they were pointed out to them, would apologize most will ingly ; soon forgot particular small items ; were tenacious of their own rights, but not very nice about the rights of others; still there was something pleasant in their manners at first sight, but they did not im prove on further acquaintance. They re quired much watching, and what they had boon, and what they could do, and what they intended to do, but they seldom did anything properly. Class tiie fifth, 102. They were of a strong, nervous temperament—always in a hurry—little order and method in their work, often met with accidents, and often got themselves into difficulties by their hasty proceedings; otherwise they were kind and willing to oblige, but the prom ises thev so hastily ma le were soon forgot ten. Class the sixth, 20. These were bet tor dressed than the others, but were not good workmen, as they had tried many things, but had not mastered any one in particular. Their politeness was artificial, and one day was often sufficient'.to expose, their deception. Innocent and small impo sitions seemed to be their legitimate busi ness. They were too ignorant to blush at their own folly, and too to acknowl edge their own faults. They wore in vain in the extreme, and unreliable.—Corres pondent of Scientific American. A Farmer's boy was told to give the cows some cabbages, and to give the cow that yielded the' most milk the largest share. HeUiteraliy obeyed the order, and depos ited the largest share on the pump. A woman fainted in a New York thea ter a few nights since, and water being thrown into her face, she revived, exclaim ing, l4 Oh, ray new bonnet T TERMS, 52.00 FSR ANITOMI The Danville (N. Y.) Express tells a capital story connected with a ; prominent lawyer of tliat village, who has distin guished himself in the defense of criminals, as well as in connection with other trials, Having frequently, through his skill, aided the most hardened criminals to escape from justice. ISome time ago, while he was at tending court in an adjoining county, he was applied to by a singular specimen of humanity charged witli grand larceny, to defend him. The lawyer very naturally inquired what crime he was accused of.— The partv accused replied that somebody had been mean enough to charge hinf with stealing §>loo in bank notes, and had got him indicted. " Are you guilty asked the lawyer. "That's none of your business," replied the accused. , "They say it makes no dif ference with you, whether a man is guilty or not, you will contrive to dig him out some way. So don't talk any more about the guilty till you hear the jury says." " Well, what about th 6 pay?" said the lawyer. " You just hold on till the trial is over, give L (the complainant) h—l on' the cross-examination, and the other fellow he has got to back him up, and you'll have no trouble about the pay." The trial commenced and proved to be a somewhat exciting and protracted one— The district attorney proved that the mon ey in question was composed of two f{3o bills on a certain bank, and the remainder all in $lO bills all of which were wrapped up in a piece of oil silk. The jury, after listening to the counsel in the case, and re ceiving the charge of the Judge, retired, and soon returned with a verdict of not guilty The accused, who was greatly elated with the result of the trial and the effort of his counsel, invited the latter into one of the vacant jury room. As soon as they were alone he slapped his counsel on the shoulder, and exclaimed : •' Free as water ain't I? What's tb© use of trying a man for steal in' when you are around? Now I snppose von want )*our pay?" " Yes, have yon got any thing to pay with ?"' said the lawyer. " Lend me your knife and we'll seeabout that." < The lawyer, slightly startled at such a proposition, rather reluctantly complied.— The accused immediately commenced rip ping and cutting away at the waistband of Ilis pantaloons, and soon produced the roll of bills for the stealing of which he had just been tried, wrapped up in the identical piece of silk, described by the witnesses for the prosecution, and throwing it down on the table before the astonished lawyer, 'exclaimed: "There take your pay out of that, I guess thcro is enough to pay you tollcrablv well" " Why, you villain ! you stole that mon ey after all," said the lawyer. "Do yoa expect I can take any of that money ?"' '•Stole that money ! Didn't them twelve men tin tairs there just say I didn't steal it ? What's the use of trying to raise a question of conscteuce after twelve respect able men have given their opinion on the subject? Take your pay out of that anp ask no questions. Don't be mod* est in taking; I got it easy enough, and you've, worked hard enough for it." Our informant does not state how much the lawyer took, but we presume the chap dido't have much change left after our friend had satisfied his " conscience" in the premises. Some years ago in a town not far from the shores of Lake Erie, in the State of Ohio, lived a shoemaker named A., and a ship carpenter named B. The shoemaker was a knowing man. lie knew so much abont everybody's business that he didn't have time properly to attend to his own and he was often a witness at court. It was his custom to promise faithfully the completion of work at stated times only to disappoint his customers when the day came round. The carpenter, 8., ordered a pair of boots, with the usual promise from A, that they would be done on a certain day. Tiie day came and with it came B. lie didn't get the goots,but received anoth er goo 1 promise. The next, and repeated visits brought a repetition of the promise, but no boots. Finally, one day the carpen ter happened in at the court room just as the unreliable shoemaker was being sworn as a witness in some ease. The magistrate had barely pronounced the words, 44 yon solemnly swear that yon will tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God," when the carpenter sang out at the top of his voice, u Now, old fel low, I've got you where I 'want you. Now, sir. tell me when you will get my hoots done.'" His boots were finished ther next time he called. MIORTT DECEIVES'. —The Portland Ar gun relates the following: The new style of short dresses are •'mighty deceivin'." A benevolent old gentlemen, a little near sighted, came near getting into trouble over in Congress street yesterday, for remarking familiarly:— •'Well, sis, are your ears cold this morn ing f" The party addressed turned upon the old gentleman fiercely, with "insolent puppy," "brute," old villain," &c., and ho found that instead of accosting a school miss he had addressed a lady in the full bloom of womanhood. Perhaps "sis" wa* right after all VOL. 6 NO. 38 A CONffiCIENTIOUSLAWYER. HE HAD HIM THERE.