ahe Slorth Branch lemoetal. ■CT 4Timuv SZOKXJBRJ "Proprietor NEW SERIES, A wMklj Democratic Terms —l copy 1 year, (in advance) 12.00 it at paid within si months, <2.50 will be charged HO papr will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar raaragas are paid; unless at the option of publisher. ADVERTISING. It line* or . j > I . . ess, make three] Jour < tiro three j six j one one square weeks weeks mo'th mo'f/ijwio'thj year t Square" TooM-W 1 do 2,0t) I do' 3,00 3.75' 4,75 5,50' 7*o 9,10 Column 400 4,50; 6,50; 8,00- 10.00 15,00 *a " SO© 6-50, 1 e tyranized over because she watched a few nights with me "llow strange you talk." "Dol ! Didn't she purchase that cloak ju-t on purpose to cut a great'figure through the town and make everybody feci very cheap ?" "Now lam r,ure she did not; she had no 6ucb motive," replied Miss V iney tar ne?tly. "1 dou't believe it, then." "Yes she is just such a woman as that " "I've seen no one who feels bad about it but vou." "but rue! La sakes, I would'nt have you Lhink I felt bud about it She can wear what she's a mind to for all me—l on ly hope she cau't afford it, that s all." "I think she can ; she has the reputa tion of being a very economical woman ' "I don't care, but I feel it my duty to warn my husband to look about his debt. When things get to be so extravagant there's no knowing what may happen." "Mr, Burton is doing a very good busi ness." "Nobody knows anything about what he is doing. All I know is that when 'Square Smith sold him two cords of wood last week, and carried in the bill, it was not paid. He actually put the 'Square off' until some day next week." With these sage reflections, Miss V. turned down the street that led to her home, leaving Mrs. W. to pursue her way and ponder on the extravagance of some folks. CHAPTER 11. ♦'Mrs. Waxwell loved fine clothes as well as any other woman of nineteenth cen tury, and this is saying a good deal. But her husband was parsimonious, and though she loved nice things very much, she loved money more, which we take it, amounts to nothing more than meanness. Mr, Wax well was a farmer,and welloffin the world. The advent of the railroad into his native town had turned everything topsy turvv in general, and the heads ot the women in particular —to use classical language of Mr W. Time was when they were contented to wear a straw bonnet and calico gown to meeting ; but now they had to rig out in silks and satins, with flounces and ferbe low and all sorts of rigging attached to them, for all the world like a a clown in a circus. Society began to be a little "select." folks put on airs, and were so "stuck up" that one couldn't touch them with a ten toot pole. In the rise and progress of the village fince the advent of the railroad* two new "TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERT FREEMAN'S RIGHT. " —Thomas Jtffersoa. TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, JAN. 23, 1867 stores had gone into opeiittion, one of which was conducted by Mr. Burton, an enterprising y>ung man fiom the great metropolis, who had brought a wife and a great many city notions to the -place with him. He bad kept his business to himself, and this bothered and perplexed the gossips.— His wife had away of attending to her own concerns —her own business; she had been brought up where people hardly knew their next door neighbor.. If she wanted a new dress or a new bonnet, she never deemed it necessary to consult her neighbors re garding iter ability to afford it, or about the style and material. I'oor Mis. Waxwell? her star began to decline. JShe was no longer leader f the TUN, and her heart was bursting with envy. Her first demonstration was to h<*r husband, whom she found 110 difficulty in convincing that Mr. Burton must certainly be ruitL d by the of his wife, and unless he collected bis debt be would be certain to lose it. As soon as she had done her washing on Monday, Mrs, W. made sotne calls and embraced the opportunity of commenting pretty freely on that "new cloak " The women to>d their husband* that Mr. Bur ton would certainly fail; and before three days had elapsed there was quite au ex citement in the village. The caieful old fanner, to whom, in the course of trade, be bad become indebted tor produce which lie to Boston, began to be alarmed about tiie rumors. It was ir. the State of New Hampshire, and at the time of which 1 wiite, the "grab law" was in active operation ; it may be still lor ought I know. One morning, as Mr. Burton returned from a journey to a neigi boring town, be found h s stock attached on tbe claim of farmer Waxwell—and all on account of tin new cb>ak his wile wore to meeting tbe preceding Sunday. He i.ad not lite means to pay, that mo ment, and while he was consider.ng a plan to extricate ! iniseif from the dilemma, the news that his goods bad been attached spread all over the place. All the credi tors were in haste to follow the example of farmer W., for it was "first come, first served," and in less than two hours a doz en had fastened upon the stock of the store to get their dues. a tremendous result to follow in the train of the thirty dollar cloak and a gossipping old wotnan. "What do you think now, Miss Viney ?' asked Mrs. Waxwell, a:- they met soon aft er the storekeeper's disaster had been made public. 44 1 hope Mr. Burton will bt able to pay his debts." " But he won't though, I just know he won't." "Probably if they had given him any notice of their intention to demand the pay nil nt ot their claims, lie would have been prepared to m< ct iliern." 44 1 gues* Mrs. B. will not feel so stuck up now " 44 I hope you have done nothing to bring about these sad results." 44 But I have; I made my husband sue his note, and vs hen he put on others fol lowed. A thirty dollar cloak, indeed !" "1 am very sorrv you have done this, — You may ruin Mr, Burton by doing it." •'That is just what! wanted to do!" aud Mrs. VYaxwe 1 s malignant expression be trayed the jealousy she had so locg har bored. "You did ii ! it was v-ry unkind and and ungrateful in you," replied Miss Vin ey indignantly. 44 Humph!" 44 Any trader would be likely to come out badly if all Ins creditors pounced upon lum without giving him tune to collect his debts." • 44 1 don't believe he bas anything to col lect." 44 Even your husband, as well off as he is, might be embarrassed it suddenly called upon to pay his debts," and Miss Viney looked significantly at her angry compan ion. 44 1 doubt it." 44 lie may have a trial," said tlis maiden lady, and she moved on towards the store. " What can she mean by that?' thought Mrs. Waxwell. Miss Viix-y had some r-roperfy of her own, and it was all in the bands of farmer Waxwell. who had, on his own account in vested the greater part of it in railro id stock. This was what she meant. She would claim the three thonsano dollars he owed her, and a cold chill passed through her veins as the thought struck her. Far mer Waxwell was rich in his Imu-es, laud and slock,all of which yielded him a pret ty fair income; but lie had not three thou sand dollars in money, and might cost him trouble to raise it "What will people think/" 44 What will people think when I pay them all. Tiie whole amount is not tnore than $700." Just then Miss Viney entered the house. In a few wods she explained the circum stances which had led to the sudden strike among his credi'ora. Mrs. Burton, kind soul, shed afl e seated and partake of the morning meal. The young wife had prepared the sieak, biscuit and cff\e with her own hands, and for a table had used a. kneading board, over which a napkin was spread, and the 'board' placed on her lap. The New Yorker de clined a seat at the table, and in telling bis New York friends as to how his vouug fiiend was liv ing, he described the style as "magnificent!" and if he weie the owner of the young man's furniture he would not take ten thousand dollars J or t e leg* of the table !" The following story is told of a Yankee captain and his mate. Whenever there was a plum pudding made, by tbe captain's orders all the plums w re put into one end placed ru xt to the captain, who after help ing himself, passed it to tin- mate, who nev er found any plums in his part of it Well, after this game had been played for some time, the mate prevailed* on the stew ard to place the end which had no plums in it next to the captain. The captain no sooner saw the pudding than he discover ed he had the wrong end of it. Picking up the dish, and turning it in his 1 ands, as if merely tor examining the china, he said, " this dish cost me two shillings in Liver pool." and put it down again as tnough without design, with the plum end next to himself. "I* it posib'e V* said the mate, taking ujfc the dish; "I shouldn't suppose it was worth more than a shilling," and, as if in perfect innocence, he put down the di*h with tin- plum end n- xt to hirself.— Ihe captain looked at the mate, tbe mate looked at the captain. The captain laugh ed, the mate laughed. 44 1 tell you *hat, young one," sat I the captain' "you've found me out, so we'll just cut the pudding lengf h. wi*e this time, and have the plums fairly distributed hereafter," (9* The '**t case of indolence is that of a man named John Hole, who was so lazy that in writing bis name, he simply used the letter J., and then punched a hole through the paper. ADVICE TO SKATERS' Having been made aware that the ska ting season in this latitude bas arrived, we give the following advice to "greenies 1. Never try to skate in two directions at once. This feat has often been attempt ed by new beginners, but never successful ly. It always ends in sorrow. 2. Eat a few apples for refreshment sake while skating, and be sure to throw tbe cor-s on the ice for fast skaters to hreak their shins over. Fast skaters your natural enemies, and should not be allowed to enjoy themselves peace.ably, 3. Sit down occasionally, no matter where—right in the way-of the rest of the party, if jou want to. There is no law to prevent a m w beginner from sitting down whenever be bas an inclination to do so. 4. Skate over qll the small boys at once. Knock 'em down. It makes great fun, and—they like it. 5. If you skate into a bole in the ice take it coolly. Think how you would feel if the water was boiling hot. "6. If your skates are too slippery buy a new pair. Keep buying new pairs till you find a pair that are not slippery. This will be fun for the hardware and fancy store men. # 7. In sitting down, do it gradually. — Do not be too sudden; you may break the ice. 8. When you fall headlong, examine the straps of your skates very carefully be fore you get np. This will make every body think you fell because your skate wa* loose. Beginners always do, you know. 9. Wear a heavy oveicoat or cloak till you get thoroughly warmed up, and then throw it off and let the wind cool you. This will ensure you a fine cold that will last you as long as yrfb live. By following these rules strictly you may ham to skate pretty well by the first of March—if tbe ice don't melt before that time. BEAUTIFUL INCIDENT, A great inundation having taken place in the north of Italy, owing to an excessive fall of snow in tie Alps, followed bv a speedy thaw, the river Adige carried off a bridge near Vienna, except the middle part, on which was the house of the toll gatherer or porter, and who, with the whole family, thus remained impiisoned by the waves, and in momentary danger of de struction. They were discovered from the banks, stretching forth their hands, scream ing and imploring succor, while fragments of thi< remaining arch were continually dropping into the water. *ln this extreme danger, a nobleman, who was present, a Count Peiverini, I think, held out a purse of one hundred sequins as a reward to any adventurer who would take a boat and de liver this unhappy t'amdy. But the risk was so great ot being dashed against th • fragment of the bridge, or of being crushed bv falling stones, that not one of the vast number of spectators had courage enough to attempt such an exploit. A peasant passing along was informed of the propos ed reward. Immediately jumping into a boat, he, by strength of oars, gained tbe middle of the river, brought the boat un der the pile; and the whole family safely descended by means of a rope—"Courage!" cried he; now yon are safe," By a still more strenuous efior;, and great strength of arm, he brought the boat and family safe to the. shore. "Brave fellow !" ex claimed the Count, handing the purse to him, "here is the promised recompense," * I never expose my life for money," an swered the peasant. "My labor is a suffi cient livelihood for myself, my wife, and children, "Give the purse to this poor fam ily who havo lost all.'' We are indebted to Horace Walpole for the preservation of this beautiful incident, He would have been entitled to rr.uch mon* of our gratitude bad he evinced the same anxiety to preserve the name of the illustrious peasait, as be has shown with regard to'hat of the nobleman who offer ed the reward. But the title and gold had fully greater charms for him than the obscure laborer. CIGASS. —"When were cigars invent ed ?" Columbus found the natives of ILs pauiola smoking "TobaCcos," which was the original native name for a cigar. A very old Mexican legen states, that when the Lord of Life descended to the infernal regions the devils treated him to cigars.— In a Philadelphia newspaper, some sixty or seventy years ago, "cigarros" were ad vertised as novelty frotn Cuba It was aloiit the year 1830 that cigars, frock coats and mustachios came into fashion in Palis. Previous to that timo tobacco was onlv "fashionable" in the form of snuff, while pipes were generallv confined to the 'lower orders, except in Germany, ry and the South Slavonian countries. fg~ A wag in Detroit hs been taking lib rties with the reputation of the Pontine railroad. He was asked whether he knew of an accident on that road, and replied. • 4 Never; but once a middle aged gentU man left Pontiac for Detroit, and died of old age at Binghamton—half way!" M3T A Connecticut Yankee has cleared hie hnuae of rate by catching one end dip ping him in red paint. He then let him loose, an 1 other rats, not liking Lis looks, •kadaddlad with affrifht VOL. 6 NO. 24 AETEMUB WAD S TftRBSBIRG MA tUIEU. My wife'* a exceediagly practycal wo man I luv her muchly, however, and humor her little ways It's a recktis falsehood that she benpecks me, and the young man in our naborhood who said to me as I was distendin my diafam with a gentle cocktail at the village tavern—who said to me in these very langwidge, "go Lome, old man, oolesa you want another teapot throwd at you by B. J.," probly regrets bevm sed so. I said, "Betsy Jane is my wife's front name, gentle youth, and I permits no person toalood to her as B. J. outside of the family circle, of which I am it principally myself Your other ob servations I scorn and disgust, and I must polish you off." He was an able-bodied young man, and, removin his coat, be in quired if 1 wanted to be ground to powdet f I said yes, if there was a powder grindist handy, nothing would 'ford me greater pleasure, when be struck me a painfu blow into idt right eye, causin me to make a rapid retreat into the fireplace. I had'nt no idea that the enemy was so well organ ized. But I rallied and went for him in a rather vigoris style for my time of life. • His parents lived near by, and I will sim ply state that fif een minutes had only elapsed after his first hit, when he was tar ried home on a shutter. His mamma met the solium procession at the door,and aft:r keerfully looking over her offspriog. she hdd, "My son, I see how it is disiinctually. ! You've been foolin around a thrashin ma cheen. You went in at the place where tbey put the grain into the thingamyjiffand and let the horses trud on you,did'ut you, my son ?" The peo of no livin orthur could describe that disfortunit young man'a sitawation more clearer. But I was sorry for him. and I went and nussed him till he got well. His reglar original father had oeen sent io the war I told him I'd t>e a fu. her to him myself. He smilta sickly smile, and said I'd already been wuss than two fathers to him. A wealthy bachelor having had one or two lawsuits lor breach of promise, now replies to any young ladv who wishes a few minutes private conversation, "No, you don't madam. It cuts nie to the heart to be compelled to boubt the honorableness of your intentions, but that sort of thi.ig is played out. My rule is imperative, and if yon have any business with me it must be transacted in the presence of two witness es !" A California farmer has a cow that will permit no one to tuilk her who will not sing while performing that operation If the music ceases she becomes restless, and will break away, unless it is resumed; but while the singing progresses, she remains perfectly docile. She does uot seem to care so much for the quantity of the music, provided the quality is sufficient. A Boston clergyman ir. preaching against tilling hoops, says he cannot shut his eye to the abomination any longer. If he had kept his eyes shut how would he have known there was any abomination about them, lie must have gone one eye on it. A miserly old farmer who had lost one of his best hands in the midst of hay mak ing, remarked to the sexton as he was tilling up the grave ; "It's a sad thing to lose a good mower at a time like this; but after all poor Tom was a great eater.'* "My friend, how long have you been married?" said a Yankee to a young Ger man. " Vel, dis is a ting vot I seldom don't like to talk about, but veo I does, it seems so long as never vas. A gentleman having asked how many dog days there were in a year, received for an answer, that it was impossible to number them, as every dog htid his day. Never despise counsel from wbift , ve r " quarter they reach yon. Remember that the pearl is keenly sought for in spito, ot~ the coarse shell which envelops it. A man in Maine applied for two gallons of mm for "medical purposes. For what medical purposes?" inquired the agent. "For raising a barn." was the reply. Quilp thinks it father remarkable that while several thousands feet are required to make one rood, a single foot, properly applied, is often sufficient to make one civil, A fop is like a new set of knires and forks yon can't put him to nothing useful without taking away all bis polish. Whv is it easy to break into an old man's house ? Because bis gait is broken and his locks are few, W The Philadelphia Mint fa producing about two million pieces of the aew fives par month. Tt has been asked, "IFhen rain falls, does it ever get np again ?" Of morse U I dam—fa due tins*.