OStBO M Ask ® o^'r a ; .iHT A
(The iudb llramh Hcimicral.
aLiJIVJUY IOBCIiEm y -Proprietor
r: . • i ♦ e # j
N r -W SERIES,
•
A week!y Democra tic
paper, devoted to Poll
tod Sciences Ac. Pub. " *
is bed every Wednes- 1
psy, at Tunkhannock a|BffilSSSy
BY HARVEY SICKtERa
4V ♦ * ' •U' . . '■* I
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JOB WORK
of mil kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
he times.
Alt TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
WORK must be paid for. when ordered
ftosiitfss Duties.
HS. COOPER. PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
fIEO. ft. TUTTOW, ATTORNEY AT LAW
J Tunkhonnock, Pa. OffiuS n Stark's Bnck
•ek, Ttnga stieet.
RvH. AW E LITTI.E, ATTORNEVS AT
LAW Odlce o Tioga street, Tunkhannock-'a
\\TM. M. PIATT. ATTORNEY AT LAW, 0
\ fice in Stark's llrick Block Tioga St., Tank
hsnnock. Pa
£hf ©oust,
IIAUKISIU'RG, PEN'NA.
The iwi-rmgned having lately purchased the
" BUKHLKH HOUSE " property, has already pom
fikenced sa -h alterations and improvements as will
render thi old and popular House equal, if not supe
rior, to any Hotel in the City of HdVrisburg.
A continuance of the public patronage is refpect
fully solicited.
GEO. J. BOLTON
WALL'S HOTEL,
vLATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
ftittKH ANNOCK, WVOMINC CO.. PA.
rillS estabiishinent has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
♦ill be given to th comfort and convenier* ef tho-e
wia-patronize the
T B. WALL. Owner and Proprietor .
Tunkhaniieck, September 11, 1361.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MKSHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY. PA
M m. H. CORTRICJHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the ahyv
Uetel, the uinlersigned will spare no effort
reudi-r the house an agreeable place ot sojourn
all who may favor it with their custom
Wm.n COKTRIOIIT.
June, 3rd, 1363
Jsfan;s JMfl,
TOWAXDA, PA.
D. B. BART LET,
(Lateoit. "BHAIXARII Ilorsr, EI.MIKA, N Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The ME ANS TTOTFL, i one of tne LARGEST
aad BEST ARRANGED ll< .usee in the country —It
is fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
and an pains are spared to make it a pleasant ana
agreeable stopping-place for all,
r 3, n2l, ty.
CLARKE, KEENEY.&KO.,
MAXL FACTUIUSH* AXI) WIIoL'SALE 11KALKBS IX
LADIES', MISSES' & GENTS'
AND JOBBERS IX
HATS. CAPS, FUKS, STRAW GOODS,
PARASOLS AND U!MBRELT.AS,
BUFFALO AND FANCY ROBES,
S4& SROAXhWA-C,
CORXER OF LEOXARI) STREET,
HSW
B. R. CLARK, 1
A CCII'TT, V
a. LKSISIT. >
" M. GIIJMAN,^
* T OILMAN, has permanently located in Tunk
i l hanncck Borough, and respectfully ter.derbi
professional services to the citisens of this placeand
surrounding country.
ALL WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATU !
HON.
Office over Tutton's La w Offi-e near the Pos
0*
|
NEW
TAILORING SHOP
The Subscriber having had a sixteen years prac
tical experience in cutting and making clothing,
now offers his services in P-is line to the citizens of
Those wishing to get Fits will find bis shop the
place to get them.
. ... . JOIL.R, SMITH
vs-uSO-6tas
Jjflfci ftorij.
THE MERCHANT'S TEST.
"Dirk,l am afiaid the old man has taken
il into hi* brad to send you adrift "
"Why, what can you mean, Phillip?"
' 0:ily that In; was talking vrrv ear
nestly with Mr. Oglethorp as I went into
into his room just now. ai d as they ceased
very discreetly on my entrance. I took the
libertv of waiting outside the door till the
conversation was resinned, and I heard
enough to satisfy me that Oglethorp has a
nephew who is about to take your place."
"What did vou overhear?"
"Merely a sentence from each, Ogle
thorp said. "So you think my nephew
will have no difficulty in filling the place
of your head clerk ;" and Beale replied,
•■None whatever; and the other Ch*rk,
Phillip Warden, has been in my es'ablish
ment a long time, and can give him a lit
tle insight into our business affairs if need
be." I did not w ait to le-ar more, but that
is enough, I should think "
M So it would si em, ' was the reply, in a
tone of deep despondency
"It is mean in the old man to discharge
you, and equally strange ; if it was tne
t!uw I should not think it so odd, hut he
has all along se. med to think so much of
yon. But'tis just like him, always doing
something out of the common wav."
Richard YYi km* was too sick at heart to
reply. He turned to the desk and en
deavored to concentrate his wandering
thoughts upon his work, but in vain. Ihe
pen dropped from Ijis fingers, and loaning
his head on Ins hand he gave full scope to
his soriowful and indignant fi clings. When
the two gentlemen emerged from Mr.
Beal'a private room he started like one
guilty of a secret crime, and snatching the
pen, pretended fn hp all absorbed in his
duties. Hi flurried manner, so different
from his usual quiet composure, was no
ticed by his employer, who drew his own
conclusions therefrom. Mr. Oglethorp
was returning to his home in Baltimore.—
His friend accompanied him to t'ie steam
boat. and on returning cloclv oltserved his
two cierksas he sauntered hack and f.>rth
through the stor", Phil ip's appearance
indicated nothing unusual; but Richard,
though he had partial!v gained hi* custo
mary compnnre, eonld not prevent a !ight
hesitancy and constraint when replying to
Mr Beal. V ensoa! remarks.
Several davs after. Mr. Beale brought
Richard a ieiter to seal and deposit in the
p-st otn -c as ho we-f to flintier. At the
same time he ent PhTip 11 OP ghhoiing
store on business, which would detain him
some little time—he then returned to his
private mom. Left to himself. Richard
gazed on the superscription of the letter,
long and earnestly. "D.Oge-thorp. Esq.,
Baltimore"—the words seemed burning
info his brain. What would he riot give
to know the contents of the letter? Douht
!e it related to the nephew that was to
supplant him Richard hesitated, turned
the letter iver and over. Why could he
not glance iitto it ? It was not sealed
he would betrav no confidence bv doing
so—most <>f the business letters were giv< u
bint to answer, and so to o one living
would he mv. al the contents, whatever
they might he. These reflections over
came h ; s strong repugnance to the nef,
and with tr-nifiling hand he opened the
letter and read :
"DEAR Sra :—T wish your nephew to
arr'v". if possible, Lv Tuesdav. the thir
teenth, as on that dav vning Wi'kin' vear
will have expired, and it i* durable that
his successor should he on the spot to en
ter immediately on his duties.
Trulv Yours, J BEALE.
T1 ie hlni.d rushed to Richard's brow a
he read. For an instant he 'orgnf the con
sequences m himelf of the threatened
blow in indignation at his employer's du
plieitv.
Four vears ago. h mummed, bit terlv.
av. four years nxt Tuesday, I entered this
sto-e.
Not once since that day has he had oc
casion to reprove me for the <di<Thtost neg
lect or oversight, stern and exacting as he
is. I have given no cutsp for cc :p nin*,
and that is the end—this is mv reward
Tam to he discharged to make room for
one of his friend's connections. I am
thankful I opened the letter —now I can
prepare for his treachery.
With raininess that surprised himself,
the elerk sealed the h-tter. and dropped it
in the post as he had been directed. On
his wav hack to his employment he called
at the counting room of a merchant,
whom as or.e of Beah-V acquaintances he
well knew. Richard wished to make in
quiries in an indirect way. for a situition
but while he was striving to farm some
question to this end. the gentleman came
to Irs relief, bv asking if he knew any
voting man in need of a siluation whom
heeould r< eommo id to bim, as he had a
vnranev for a clerk Riehard eager lv of
fered himself. Mr. Curtis was surprised
that he should wish to leave his old place,
hut gladlv accepted him, having long ad
nvr.-d the integrity an ! strict application
ofthe voting man. whose praises h<* had
frequently heard from Mr. Beale. The
yearly income wt* named: it was one hun
dred dollars more than Riehard was now re
reiving ; and having engaged to enter on
the duties of his new place on the follow
ing Tuesdav, he went with a light heart to
his old employment. He did not .rtcntion
His intention to Mr. Beale, ao the week
passed without Mr. Curtis visiting the store.
He hoped be had not met LU employer, for
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. ♦—Thnme Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 14, 1860 *'"'"
Richard had a wish that the latter should
not hear how his treacherous scheme had
been defeated till the last moment.
On Monday evening Richard knocked
at the door of Mr. Beale's room, and in as
few words as possible requested the wages
due to him, as he was engaged to go to an
other house on the morrow.
" I have known of your engagement
since Wednesday, said Mr. Bcale; Mr.
Curtis informed me of it May I ask the
motive of this secret, and unusual proceed
ing on your part ? Ibe lie, ve I gave you
no cause for so sudden a determination to
quit my employment —did I ?"
"No cause!" Richard repeated, bittei ly.
"Oh, no s-r, no cause, of course, the elerk
is only the dupe, the slave of the merchant,
and has no right to complain of ar.y con
duct, however iniquitious, of which he is
the victim. '
t' Your sarcasm is rather out of place,
young man," replied Mr. Beale, coolly. I
asked if I had given you any cause ot of
fence. I know I have not; you falsely
imagine that I have, and thus imagining,
you have done yourself a great injury.
Nav. no questions —I will tell you all. On
the dav that Mr. Oglethorp was here, 1
noticed a grest alteration in your words,
your whole conduct. I suspected at one.-
that Philip had overhead our conver
sation andjrep"ated it toyou.iu consequence
of which \uu were disturb, d in mind. This
was natural, and I was tar from blaming
you ; but it afforded me an opportunity for
: test which I had peculiar reasons for ile-
Riring to apply. I penned a brief note to
Mr Oglethorp —gave it to yon to seai, and
watched your proceedings from that win
dow I thought the temptation would
prove a severe one, and that if you at ose
superior to it I need never have any fears
concerning you. I was right, the tempta
tion was strong—too strong for your honor
or integrity to with stand. I saw you open
the letter—'twas enough. 1 did not at all
wonder when 1 heard of your applying for
a new situation; you thought I was acting
treacherously to you, and that you would
outwit me."
Mr. Beale ceased, and looking fixedly at
R : chard who-e whole countenance was >uf
fusi d with blushes as the true nature of
his conduct was brought thus calmly to his
view. Ir. his indignant feelings he had
not till this moment thought of his direlie
tion of principle in opening a letter not in
tended for his- iiisp- ction ; now he wrs
overwhelmed with shame and remorse, for
lie was naturally upright and ingenuous.
Mr. Beale saw his confusion, and turned
to pay what there was due of Richard's
saLrv, but first taking sonic papers from a
secret drawer, and thtew them on the table
before the voting man.
" All this ts at an end, now," lie said,
but vou can see how unjust your supposi
tion was to me, how injurious to yourself,
as T said awhile ago."
Richard'stves were intently bent upon
the papers. One was in the merchant's
hand-writing, a notice of Richard Wilkins
having been admitted as junior partner in
to his old and established business firm ; h"
others were necessary legal papers relating
therein: R chard continued gazing on flu-rn
as if fas'-inat'till the merchant's voic •
broke the c pe|l.
"Well, young man, do you under.-tand
the matter now?"
"Oh. sr!" said Richards, turning his
eyes imploringly on him, and thrn nnahl
to repress his tortured feelings he bent his
head on lh<- table the fast-gush
ing tears.
"R- gret is unavailing now.' said Mr.
Beals, in his clear cold tones. *' I had ev
erv reason to p ace confidence in ynn.--
During these four years I have observed
vour conduct eloselr. It was such as to
satisfr me, and resolving to reward vour
stref integrity and faithfulness I had de
cided to take you info partnership as you
see bv these papers, prepared nearly two
months ago, and only wanting the signa
tures and date. My friend, Mr. Oglethorp.
had frequently mentioned hts nephew,
whom he much desired me to employ. At
hts lat visit I had agreed to do so. It was
my intention to give you an agreenh'e sur
prise to tnorr-iw, and. therefore, I desired
to k-ep all mv arrangements secret, fortu
nately as I now see, for my whim enabled
me to test the strength of your principles "
"Oh. if you could only forgive me. Mr.
Beale," exclaimed Richard, iraploringlv.—
'•lt was my first error in this regard—l am
sure it will be mv last."
For all answer, Mr. Beale quietly push
ed the money he had counted over to Rich
ard. and picking up the papers tore them
into small fragments. The young man
looked sadlv at them but knowing that re
monstrance or entreaty was alike unavail
ing in the stern man, hely a strong effort
conquered his emotion, and, taking up his
money, bowed his thanks and farewell to
his lte employer, and turned to leave the
room. As lie laid his hand on the door
knob, he paused and asked, in a faltering
voice, if Mr. Curtis was informed of all
this.
"X<\ I (lid not think it necessary to spoak j
<>f it." said Mr. Boat*-, fur I had reason to
think it wa your first d pa tore from the
straight road; anil though all business
conivrtions between 9 has ceased, vet I
would not injure your reputation by reveal
ing an a-*t which I thought you would re
gret. You will find Mr. Curtis * more in
dulgent emplorer than you are leaving;—
your salary will be larger than it has been
h re, so on the v hole, perhaps, you are no
loser, and I hope for your sake that your
first error will prove your last."
Kicbard sadly left the store. Oa the
n orrow he entered on the dniic ß of his
new situation It poved agreeable, and
the addition to his previous 6alaty was of
great use to him, but what could silence re
morse fur the act by which he had not only
loFt so much ina pecuniary point of view,
but also sank immeasurably in his own es
timation ? He profited by the lesson, how
over. Years alter he found himself in a
position prosperous and envious to that
which he had forfeited in early manhood,
hut to his dying day he never tiied to ban
ish the humiliating but salutary recollec
tion of his first and last delation from the
straightforward path of honor aod integri
ty-
THE WHITE HOUSE AND ITS ASSO
CIATION.
Yesterday wc rode through the estate of
Gen. \V. H. F. Le-, son ofGeneial Robert
E Lee. This is the large tract of land
known to history as the "White House." —
It li-s south of the Papunkey river, and
ab-ut five thousand acres of first class land.
In June, 1862, when the grand cavalry re
connoisauci' was made in rear of McClel
lan's armv, a battle was fought on the farm
lietween General Stuart's command and
some Federal infantry, stationed here to
guard commissary and quartermaster sup
plies. The Federals, in this engagement
were forced to beat a hasty retreat to their
gunboats, leaving many of their dead be
l.ind.
Only a small portion of this farm was
under cultivation last year. Gen. W. H.
F. Lee, immediately after the unfortunate
termination of ev nte. pulled off his coat,
(if he Lad one,) rolled up his sleeves, and
"pitched in" like a good fellow. Noble
example! What a withering rebuke to
those young men who throw away their
time in fruitless searches after soft posi
tions, such as clerkships, drummers, and so
on! Tne owmr of five thousand acres of
the best land in the State, the dashing and
gallant cavahy officer, the accomplished
scholar, the thorough gentleman, the train
ed soldier, in short, til son of Robert E,
Lee, is not ".shamed to walk between the
plow and handles ? Gen Lei's present
residence is a small cabin, recently bu It.—
It stands in a clump of trees rear the river
bank, aho >t one mile below the ruins of the
" Whit - H Hie," He has no family—hav.
ing lost his wife and children luring the
war. Previous to the building of the cab
in, the Gitieial • lept out on the ground
His tabic, so Called, is supplied with sol
diers' fare.
A few chimneys, standing near the river
bank, is all that is no*v left ol the White
House. Nay, not all: a thousand memo
ries linger around tlio.ne burnt chimneys
memories of the good, the brave, and the
great.
Many years ago, in the good old days
hf knee buckles, there lived here a fair and
comely widow*. Possessed of personal
beauty, winning manners, and rare mental
aceom lishmmis; reared in the lap of
wealth, the daughter of a courtly gentle
man, she was a woman well woithy to
wear the matron-'* crown. Chief among
lu-r admirers, was a tall, fine looking young
man fmm VVfMrooreland c unity. Nature
had stamped greatness upon his Counten
ance, while a loving m 'tie r had wov q the
garland of truth around his soul, lie lov
ed the gentle wid<<w, (could he help it ?)
the g> nfle widow loved him, (could she
help it?) How he wooed and won her in
her river home ; what whispered words of
endearment passed from mouth to ear, as,
hand in hand, they walked where then the
"vernal flowers purpled all the ground ' but
where now the ashes lie —let them old
c'dmneys tell —not I. Theymr.de love —
made ir, I venture, prettv much in the
same foolish wav young people do now.—
For love, after all, is to theemotional world
what carbon is to the m iterial—it never
loses its identity. It is the same thing to
day it was yesterday—it is the same thing
to-dav that it will be to morrow.
George Washington loved the widow
Cnstis—the widow Custis loved George
IFasliington—and old folks offering no
objection, they were married '*in the usual
way." Tliu burnt chimneys might say;
" B 7 e snw clouds at morning
Tinged bv the rising MM ;
And in the dawn they floated on,
And mingled into one;
We thought the morning cloud was
i lest
It moved so sweetly to the west"
The marriage ceremony wa performed
by an Episcopal minister in the St. I'cter s
Church. This ancient building may still
be se. nbv the curious traveler som • two
miles south of the ruins of the White
House Up to the comneccement of the
late war, it was a neat little country chapel
dedicated t the living God. where the
neigboritig planters had been wont for
m >re than a century to assemble. Sabbath
after Sabbath, to listen to the words of "ho
ly writ," and sng praises to the Lor J God
of Israel. But during the war a set of
miserable scoundrels attached to the Fed
eral armv violated this holy sanctuary ; de
facing the walls with oh-c- ne pei cil sketch
es, breaking r<> pieces the tablet whereon
was inscribed the in irriage of General
Washington to Mr-, Cu-tis, and so mntila
ting the building a- t> render if unfit lor
divine service.— Richmond Times.
A GRE\9Y ARTICLE —"Th?re, John,
that's twice you've ootne home and Ibrgot
ton the lard."
"La, mother, it was so greasy it slipped
my miud." . . •
•fisziMS) sa.oo pun JOL. anroßC
- Sagacity of the Dog.
A gentleman .f the name ofM'Laifin,
residing in Rockingham county, N. LI a
few y. ars ago possessed a dog that was
very remark ibie for his sagacity. He one
day told tin; dog to go and find a
handkerchief which his child had lost in a
distant field while picking berries. The
dog started off with his usual alacrity, but
in tlie course of an hour or two he return
ed without the handkerchief, looking as
crestfallen as though he had been caught
in a neighbor's sheep fold. The tna-ter
cuff d his ears sharply, and told him to go
and try agan, and not come back till he
had found it. The dog started off again
with apparent reluctansc, while the mas
ter followed at a distance behind and un
peireived. The dog went towards the
field where the child had picked the ber
ries, and sat down on his haunches, held
down his head, and appeared to be in a ;
deep, brown study.
He sat in this attitude for perhaps half
ar. Lour, when he suddenly jumped up
with a peculiar veil cf exultation, and
started for one corner of the field. Here
he stopped f-r a moment, and then com
menced trotting around the field, going
about three feet from the fi nee the first
time, about six feet the second, and thus
continuing to near the middle at each suc
ceeding circle. He went around the field
about twenty time*, when he jumped up
into the air with a loud yell of triumph,
pick<-d up the handkerchief, and started
for home.
The veracity of this narativje may be
mlied cp>u. We received it from Mr.
F.—, a Baptist clergyman of great re
apectahil.ty. Now, did the dog reason
tiiatheniut.Qally ? Does tins go to add proof
that instinct is hut another name for rea
son ?— Family Visitor.
WOMAN. —To the honor, the eternal
honor of the fa r sex. be it said, that in the
path of duty no sacrifice i with them too
high or too dear. Nothing is with thein
impossible but to shrink from what love,
honor, innocence and religion require.
The voice of pleasure or of fower may
pass by unheeded, hut the voice of affliction
never. The chanber of the sick, the pil
low of the dying, the vigils of the dead,the
altars of religion, never missed *he presr
ence or the sympathies of woman. Timid
though she be. and so delicate tliat the
winds of heavy a may not too roughly- visit
her, on such occasions she loses .ill sense of
danger, and as-uraes a preternatural cour
age ivhicb knows not and fears no conse
quences. Then she displays that undaunt
ed .-pint which neither courts difficulties
ncr evades them ; that resignation which
utters peiiher murmurs nor regrets ; and
tl.at patience in suffering which seems vic
torious over death itself.—[Judge Story.
Victoria'! Five Daughter*.
Queen Victoria has five daughters. The
oldest is the wife of the cruvrn Prince of
Prussia. She is destined to become the fu
ture QIIC-MI of Prussia. The aecond, Alice,
is the wife of Hesse-Darmstadt, whose
principality has been lately absorbed by
Pi-UNSia Ihe third, Helena became re
cei.tU the wife of the Prince ofTeck, who
is a Prince without a principality. Two
remain mi married—Louise, who is in her
eighteenth vear and Beatrice, who is in her
ninth. What is to be done with Louise,
now that most of the Protectant German
Princes have been ousted from their petty
thrones b_\ Prussia? Ihcre is only one
Protestant Prince now availahh- for roval
conjugal pui pos. 3, and he is IvingGcoige
of Greece. Mr. Gladstone is consequently, !
to proceed to enter upon the'delicate nego-!
nation Her proposed husband is a mere
youth, who dances well, and is fond of good ;
cigars, and is tolerably good looking. He
might make an admirable clerk in a milli
nery store, hut is altogether out of hie place ,
as the chief of thespiiited Greek nation.
A young itoqifl of 18, who presented
the most remarkable instance on record <>f
the disease call d hvdrocephalus, bus re
cently died in Now York. Her head was
thirty-seven inches in circumference, and
twenty seven over the vertex, from one ear
to the other; while her body was little
more than a skeleton. Her mother had
steadfastly refits d the most t- tnpting offers
of money. Mr. Bmum off r.ng 525.000
to have her afflicted child exhibited to the
public, ami now refuses, on any terms, to
have the re.xains presetved in the interest
of science.
dT Artemus says in * 4 llis Book "A
female woman is one of the grate9t insti
tootions of which the land ran boste. It's
onpossible to get along without her. She
is go >d in sickness—good in wellness—
g"o i a!' the time. O, woman. w>>man !
You are an angel. h< n }ou behave your
self ; hot when y<n take nph your proper
appairel, and (metiforically speaking,) get
into pamyl oiis, and undertake to play the
MAN. von play the DEVIL and are an era
fatie nuosanec,"
A young Englishman, who has been ek
idg out a wretched existence in New Yoik
city bv begging fr<>m door to door, and
sleeping on the City Hall seps or among
the Jocks, was a few davs since informed
of tlie death of a titled relative in the old
eotin'rv, by which he is left heir to nearly
$50,000.
An anti himenial punster says that the
recriminations of married people res.-mble
the sounds of the waves .n the seashore
being the murmurs of tbe tied.
VOL. 6 NO. 15.
HRITISH SOVEREIGN!.
We republish the following, as a smooth
set of rhyme by which any one possessing
ao ordinary memory may fix io mind the
order of succession of the various sover
eigns of England :
First William the Norman;
Then William, his son
Henry, Stephen and Henry ;
Then Richard and John.
Next Henry, the third ;
Edwards, one, two,and three;
And again after Richard,
Three Ileniy's we see
Two Edwards, third Richaid,
If rightly I guess ;
Two Henrys, sixth Edward,
Queen Mary, Queen Bess ;
Then .Jamie, the Scotehraar,
Then Charles whom t tey slew,
Yet received after Cromwell,
Another Charles too ;
Next James the second
Ascended the throne ;
Then good Wdliam and Mary
Together came on,
Till Anno, Georges four,
And fourth W\\ dam all past,
God sent us Victoria,
May she long be the last !
JEW Education is a companion which no
misfortune can depress, no crime can de
stroy, no enemy can alienate, no despo
tism enslave. At homo, a friend ; abroad
an introduction; in solitude,a solace; —
ad in society an ornament, It chastens
vice, it guides virtue, it g vrs at once grave
and government to genius; without it,
what is man ? A splendid slave; a reason
ing savage.
JEW A trentleman who was induced to
listen to Miss Dickinsor, was asked on
com ng out, what he thought of the lec
ture ! "Think r said he, "I think Daniel
Webster died at the right time ! and be
fore a coirupted public opinion waa willing
to receive its interpretation of consti.utiou
al law from the lips of an old maid,"
&W A spread-eagle orator of New York
State wanted the wings of a bird to fly to
every town and county, to every village
and hamlet in the broad land ; but he wilt
j ed when a naughty bov ir. the crowd sung
( out, "dry up you old foul ; you'd get shot
| for a goose before you dew a mile.
£W "Speaking of shaving." said a pret
ty girl to an obstinate old bachelor, "I
should think that a pair of handsome eyes
would he the best mirror to shave by."
"Yes, many a poorf. How has been shav
ed by them," the wretch replied.
"The little darling! he did'nt strike
Mrs. Smith's baby a purpose, did he ! It
was a mere accident, wasn't it dear f
"Yes, ma. to be sure it was , and if he
don't behave Limself, I'll crack him
again."
henever, says an exchange, a
southern darkey gets killed in the operation
of plundering a smoke house or dwelling,
01 gets squelched by Judge Lvnch for the
crimes ot rape or murder, then the dis
union newspapers at once cry out— -"An
other Unionist murdered by the rebels !"
',wo tqiurj _\\e she'll dO most OP Oc\l
wn scitr.Nn t\ |*o hevrttn-u I'nn—
1* r§ itiha t BBont iTs difficult
to sEt type' bo j We dOn,t axpariencE
mucq dijficultY j 4 ,
CiT A quaint writer says , "I have seen
women so <J. licate that they were afraid to
ride, for fear of the horse running awav ;
afraid to sail, for fear the boat mijht upset;
afraid to walk, for fear the dew might fallj
hut I ne r saw one afraid to be married,'
which is far more risktu! than all three put
together.
JfeS" R*'V- Edward H. Hudson, a well
known Methodist minister at Palmyra 111.,
eloped last w e . k w.tli a widow named Mc
f uliough. Hudson took two of his chil
dren wnh him, leaving his wife and a child
in his desolate home.
_ Tony LankofTand Mis Agnea
Kreipt. were married a week ago, at New
port. Kentucky, and three davs after both
br id 'it room nd the bride were robed in
their wedding-elothes. and buried in the
same grave. No explanation of the cause
of their sudden death is given.
Making the Donkey Go— You are
very stupid. Tin. mas," s j d a
schoolma-ter to a little boy eight years old;
"ton are like a donkey, and what do they
do to cure hint of his stupidity ?"
"U |,v. they feed him more and kick him
le-s,' said the urchin.
A PROBLEM.—IF.as the poet says, 44 bean -
tv d nws us with n single hair " then what
-O ! tell us what—must be the effect of a
modern watetfal.
Three things that never agree—two eats
over one mouse, two wives in one house
and two loveis after one young ladv.
A student once asked, 4 can virchue, for
titchudi am! gratichude, dwell with that
man who i a stfanger to reeticbude I**
T ">• \ ■