Newspaper Page Text
(The 31'irth South Ucmntral.
yy JNX/lIV SICKIJUR, Proprietor^
Awk)jPvaoof*ti c. ...j-'Thj. i _•
T*f> •t Tunkhannock "iffjH
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) 82.00
■•t paid within six months, 82.50 will be charged
*0 paper will be DISCONTINUFD, until all ar-
Tearages are paid; unless at the option of publisher.
ft tints er , j ) I . [
r tess, make three] four \ txro jthree) sir one
'onettjuare iceeks)weeks ino'th mo'thmo'lhyear
1 Suare~ 3,00j~5~00
J Jo. 2,00 2.50! 3.25] 3.50} 450 6,00
1 do 3,00 375 4,75 5,50! 7,00 9,00
I Column. 400 4 ; 50 6,0W 8,00 10,0 C 15,00
4 do. 600 6 50} 10,00 12,00 17,00 25,00
4 do. 800 7 ,0f 14,00* 18,00 25,00 35,00
I do. lofoo 12,00| 17,00! 22,00.28,00 40,<>0
SXECUTOHi, ADMINISTRATORS and AUDI
TOR'S KOTTCES, of the usual length, 82,50
efIITUARIES,- exceeding ten lines, each ; RELI
• IOCS and LITER ARY NOTICES, not of genera
isterest, one half toe regular rates.
Business Cards of one square, with paper, 85.
•f all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
All TRANSIENT ADVERTISEMENTS and JOB
WORK must be paid for, when ordered.
RF. LITTLE, ATTORNEY AT LAW
loga street, TunkhannockFa.
. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre. Luierno County Pa.
GEO. S. TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW
Tunkhonnook, Pa. Office' n Stark's Brick
* ek, Ttoga street.
WM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, O
6ce in Stark's Brick Block Tioga St., Tuuk
Cjf Bueijlec I)ousf,
The undersigned having lately purchased the
>1 BUEHLER HOUSE" property, has already com
meaced such alterations and improvements as will
rauder this old and popular House fqual, if not supc
rlar, to any Hotel in the City of Uarrisburg.
A'continuance of the public patronage is refpect-
MI, OEO , BOLTOS .
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
TUN KUAN SOCK., WYOMING CO., PA.
TULS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in rbe latest style Every attention
will We givon to thp comfort aDd convenience of tho=e
whe patronize the House.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tmakhannock, September 11, 1861.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MESHOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Win. H. COKTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
reader the house an agreeable place oi sojourn for
all who may favor it with their custom.
* * Wm.li CORTIUGHT.
fui, 3rd, 1563
* l > iV. .T. C- BEC KK Id .
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
"Would respectfully announce to the citizensofWy-
Miug. that he has located at Tvnkhunnock where
he will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
his profession. ... r
CigT Will be found at home on Saturdays or
oath week „
peans flfltel, ,
p. B- BARTLET,
jiateefi. w BHAINARD HOUSE, ELRIRA, N. Y.
The MEANS HOTF.L, i- one of the LARGEST
ud BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
ie itted up in the most modern and improved style,
uud no pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for all,
r 3, n2l, ly.
* MANUFACTURERS AND WHOLESALE HEALERS IN
LADIES', MISSES' & GENTS'
ANT) JOBBERS IN
■ATS, CAPS, FURS, STRAW GOODS,
PARASOLS AND UMBRELLAS.
BUFFALO AND FANCY ROBES,
CORNER OF LEONARD STREET,
A. KEF, NET, \
§. LKRENXT. J
If OILMAN, has permanently located in Tunk
I* L. bannock Borough, and respectfully tenderhi
profeseiooal services to the citizens of this placeand
WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATIT
•jiu •? fcWoi's Law Offico near the Post
MY I*IJAIN ISOVBR.
I was a coquette. Many a lover's heart
had I lacerated by refusing his offer of
nsarriage after I had lured bim on to a
declaration. My last victim's name was
James Frazer. lie wa9 a tall, awkward,
homely, ungainly man but his heart was as
steel. I respected bim highly, and felt
pained when I witnessed his anguish at my
rejection of him. But the fact was, I my.
self, had fallen in love with Captain Elliot,
who had beeD unremitting in his devotion
to me. Mr. James Frazer had warned me
against Elliot, but I charged him with
jealousy, and took his warning as an in
A few days afterwards, Elliot and I
were engaged, and tny dream of romantic
love seemed to be in a fair way to realiza
tion—l had a week of happiness. Many
have not as many in a life time. Many
awake from the bright, short dream, to find
themselves in life-lor.g darkness and bond
age from whicJ there is no escape. Thank
God I was not to be as miserable as they !
My mother was a widow in good circum
stances, and having very bad health. She
was also of an easy, listless, credulous na
ture—la':ing trouble and willing to tak?
things just as they happened to present
themselves. She, therefore, made no in
quiries about Captain Elliot—but fondly
believed that, inasmuch as he was a Cap
tain,*he must be a man of honor, especi ally
as he iiad served in the Crimea and in In
dia, and won medals. His regiment was
quartered in our neighborhood and lie had
the reputation of being the wealthiest; as
certainly he was the handsomest officer in
it. I remember well the day we were en
gaged. He was on duty and had manag
ed to ride over to our house in his uniform
and while we were walking in the garden,
he made the tender avowal. I referred
him to ''mama." He hastened to her—re
turned in three minutes, and led me into
"her presence to receive the assurance that
the maternal consent had been freely and
readily given—My dear mother bated
trouble, and she moreover loved me ten
derly ; so that she was well pleased to find
a husband presenting himself in a form
and manner apparently so eligible for her
beloved and only daughter.
Well, a week passed quite delightfully,
as I have said, and at the expiration of that
there might have been seen an equcstiran
party winding through our old Devonshire
woods and quiet country roads. Elliot and
I led the cavalcade. I rode my cwn beau
tiful brown Bess. Captain Elliot was
mounted on a handsome black horse that
had been sent us from London. Follow
ing us was a bevy of merry girls and their
cavaliers, aineng whom was tall, awkward
and silent James Frazer. His presence
had marred all pleasure of my ride, and 1
was glad to be in advance of them all, that
I might not see hitu.
And so we rode on through the woods
and I listened, well pleased to the low,
but animated words of the gallant Elliot
who wished himself a knight, and me a
fair ladye of the olden time, that he might
go forth to do battle and compi 1 all men to
recognize the ciaims of his peerless love.
Very eloquently be spoke of the inspira
tions of love, of the brave deeds and per
ilous exploits it had prompted, wishing
again and again that he might proclaim
and maintain his love before the world It
pleased me ty listen to this, and to believe
it sincere, though I surely had no wish to
put my lover to such a test. A shot snd
den'v rang hrough the woods.and a woun
ded bird darting past, fluttered and fell at
the feet of brown Bess. With a bound
and a spring that nearly unseated me she
Struggling to regain my seat, I had no
power to check her, and even as she flew
the fear and madness of the moment grew
npon her. I could only cling breathlessly
to mane and bridle, and wonder helplessly
where this mad gallop was to end. She
swerved from a passing wagon, and turned
into a path that led to the river. In the
sudden movement the reins had been torn
from my hands and I could not regain
(hem. I clung to the mane and closed my
eyes, that I might not see the fate that
awaited me. How sweet was life in those
precious moments that I thought my last!
How all its joys and affections, its crown
ing love rose up before me ! I thought of
the pang that would rend Elliot's heart as
he saw ine lying, mangled and dead ; and
the thought would come if lie were pursu
ing and trying to save me, even, as he had
said, at risk of life and limb. I remem
bered no more. I felt a sudden shock, a
feariul rushing through the air, and knew
no more for days afterwards. I woke to a
faint, weak semblance of life in my cham
ber at home.
I never saw Captain Elliot again. The
last words I ever heard from his lips were
those of knighly daring. The last action
of his life in connection with mine, was to
follow the train ot frightened youths who
rode after me to contemplate the disaster
from afar, and as soon as he saw me lifted
from the shallow bed of the river, into
which I had been thrown when my fright
ened horse stopped so suddenly on its bar.k
to ride hastily off. That evening he sent
to make inquiries, and learning that 1 was
severely if Dot fatally injured, he content
ed himself with such tidings of my condi
tion and improvemant as could be gained
from mere raraor.
At iiut it was known that I would re
cover entirely from the effects of ray inju
ry, nd that very day Captain Elliot slid-
••TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jeffieraon.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, MAY 2, 1866.
denly departed from the neighborhood.—
He made no attempt to see me, nor sent
me any farewell. When I was once more
abroad, and beginning, though with much
unalloyed bitterness, to learu the lesson of
patience and resignation that awaited me,
I received a letter from liiiu, in which he
merely said that he presumed my own
judgment had taught me, that in iny alter
ed circumstances our engagement must
come to an end ; but to satisfy his own
sense of honor [his lioior] he wrote to
say that, while entertaining the higher
respect for me, he desired a formal renun
ciation of the claim. Writing on the bot
tom of the letter, "let it be as you wish,"
I returned it to him at ouce and ended my
brief dream of romance.
I heard ere this of Elliot's cowardly con
duct on that day, but now I first bethought
me to inquire who had rescued me from
that imminent death. And then I learned
that James Frazer, his *rin already broken
by the jerk with whicfo Brown Bess tore
away from him as he caught at her bridle,
had ridden after me and been the first to
lift me from the water. Many times daily
he made inquiries concerning me ; his was
the hand that sent the rare flowers that
had decked my room; his were the lips
that breathed words of comfort and hope
to my poor mother; his were the books
that I read during the days of convales
cence ,* and his, now, the arm that sup
ported me as slowly s and painfully I paced
the garden walks.
I have been his wife for many a year.
I have forgotten that he is not handsome
—or rather he is beautiful to me,
because I see his grand and loving spirit
•hining through his plain features, and ani
mating his awkward figure. I have long
since laid aside as untenable, my theory
that beautiful spirits dwell only in lovely
bodies. It may be a providential compen
sation that, in denying physical perfection,
the soul is not dwarfed or marred by pet
ty vanity oi love of the world's praise.
The Charleston (Va.) Chronicle
takes this humerous view of the condition
of the South:
It seems to us to be as hard to get in
the Union as it is to get out. The South
respectfully asks to move one way or the
other. We are like the fellow that was
forced to go to the show, and then not al
lowed to go any further than where he
paid for his ticket. We have been drag
ged into the door way of the FeJeral tent,
and are not allowed to see any of the per
formance except to settle with tax collect
ors. *We can hear the animals growling
inside, and the cracking of the ring mas
ter's whip, but we can't see the show unless
we pay for two, and take in R colored lady.
And (lie worst of it is, they keep a great
eagle perched over the entrance, which, if
yoj attempt to go hack, sweeps down upon
you and picks a hole in your head. We
justly think this is unreasonable, they
ought either to let us pass in, or refused
our money and tie up the eagle.
The New York Freeman's Journal
draws the following picture of Old Thad.
Stevens: "The leading picture in this
rump Congress is that ba 1 old man, Mr.
T'naddeus Stevens. This moral, social
and political leper, whom it is a disgrace
to a Pennsylvania county not to have in
dicted as a public nuisance—as would
have happened had he been a poor man;
having emigrated from New England, and
bv cunning and assiduous dexterity climb
ed into wealth, exhibits now, in the pres
ent degraded rump Congress, the same.el
enients of character in shaping the action
of that bedy. This vile person, as every
honest man knows he is, if he has the mis
fortune of knowing hin in any relation of
life, seems to rule the unhappy rump Con
gress a3 he wills. It is one of the
threatened and most severe puni-hments
that a just God inflicts on a dissolute and
impious people, to put them under the
heels of the basest, vilest, most groveling,
and every way contemptible wretches that
wear tli6 human form. '
grTwo Irishmen were drinking toasts
to Corcoran's N. Y. regiment, One says,
" Here's to the 69th—the last in the field
and the first to lave it." "You don't mane
that," said the other. "Tho divil I don't
what thin do I mane?" " 'Tis this: Here's
to the 69th—aiquil to none !"—Drinks fol
lowed this correction, of course.
REGULAR CUSTOMER. —An old fellow
out in Pennsylvania, who "advertised"
his wife six or seven times, had the assur
ance recently to ask the editor of a local
paper to print the customary advertisement
for half price in consideration of his being
a " regular customer."
-4> 1 11
The Richmond Examiner says one
can easily put a five cent loaf cf the baker's
bread ia each cheek, a ten cent loaf in the
middle, and thci whistle Yankee Doodle
Why is the letter C like a generous
fairy ? Because it turns ash into cash.
Whv is swearing like a ragged coat ?
It is a bad habit.
Man's two pirili—war and women.
The Tennessee Person-Governor—Pren
tice on Brownlow.
[From the Louisville Journal ]
Parson Brownlow, the irreverent Gov
ernor of Tennessee, has published one of
his characteristically low and dirty articles
about us in the Knoxville Whig. In that
article he has not stated a single truth, Qr
anythsng approximating to a truth.—
Whenever he sits down to abuse anybody,
lies cluster around his pen like blue-bottle
flies around a horse's ears in July or Au
gust. He lies with his pen, lies with his
! tongue, lies with his gestures, lies through
every pore of his yellow and shriveled
hide. Lies issue from his mouth like the
horned locusts from the throat of tbatgther
great beast described in the Apocalypse,
lie is probably the "father" ol as many
lies as the horned and tailed master he
The parson is now a fierce abolitionist,
lie goes as far in Radicalism as the lowest
and worst Radical in the nation. He
would gladly bathe his hands and feet, and
wash his face in the blood of every man
who is not a Radical.
* * * • * •
II is most extraordinary and most dis
graceful that any portion of the people of
Tennessee, knowing this man as they all
did, voted to make him Governor of that
State. No other State was ever affected
aud disgraced and cursed with such an un
mitigated, such an unredeemed and unre
deemable blackguard as her Chief-Magis
trate. He is a parody, a caricature, a
broad burlesque on all possible governors-
He is a monstrosity. He is a thing as
much oiif of nature as Barnum's woolly
horse or his giants and dwarfs, or his calf
with two heads and eight legs —four of the
legs pointing towards the zenith. His
blood is hell broth, which Satan will one
day sup with a long poon. They say
there is fire in him, but it is hell-fire, every
particle of it. Though he is but a single
swine, there are as many devils in him
as there weie in the whole herd that "ran
violently down a steep place into the sea."
His heart is nothing but a hissing knot of
vipers, rattlesnakes, cobra, and cotton
mouths. He nercr argued a question in
his life, approaching no subject but with
fierce, bitter, coarse, low and vulgar ob
jurgations. His tongue should be bored
through and through with his own steel
pen, heated red-hot. man, as we
have said, calls himself a clergyman. He
holds forth in pulpits. He preaches, prays
and exhorts, draws down his face, drops
the corners of his mouth, and undertakes
to look sanctimonious. And yet he seemg
always trying, in his pulpit-discourses, to
sec under how thin a disguise he can ven
ture to curse, and swear, and blaspheme.
He can't offer up a prayer in the house of
God without telling the Lord what an in
fernal scoundrel, damned thief, or cursed
vagabond, this, that, or the other neighbor
is From his youth up to his old age, he
has had no personal controversies without
attacking the wives, fathers, mothers, grand
fathers, grandmothers, brothers, sisters,
children, uncles, aunts, and nephews of his
opponents. Ho has sought to strew his
wholo path of life with the dark wrecks of
wantonly ruined reputations. He has nev
er had an hour's happiness except in the
unhappiness of others. He h'S ever said
to eTil, "Be though my good !'' He Ims
always carefully jotted down all that he
heard unfavorable to gentlemen while pro
fessing to be their friend, so as to be ready
for the day of alienation. He howls ven
om, talks venom, coughs venom, sneezes
venom, spits venom, drools venom, sweats
venom, stinks venom, and distils venom
from his nose. Not the fuliginous exlialta
tions from the bottomless pit, not the fire
and brimstone fumes from the sooty throat
of the devil, were ever more blighting and
blasting than his accursed serpent-breath.
He never had a friend on earth out of
bis own family. No doubt there are those
who fear him for his fiendish ferocity, but
no human being not of his own household
ever loved or respected him. He will
have bis reward. Sowing in wrath, he
will reap in agony. Fury and hate may
stifle in his heart the feeling of remorse
tor a time, but Nemesis, with her horrid
whip, will yet scourage him round the
whole orb of being All the hairs upon
his head will seem to him to be snaken,
like the hissing and forked tongued locks
of the Eumenides. When he shall retire,
as he soon must, from the noisy and tnmul
tuous strifes that have ever engaged and
still engage all his thoughts, he will not
have a solitary pleasant and serene memo
ry of the past. On the contrary, as score
of bitter, and desolate, and torturing iccol
lections will corrode and eat up his very
heart, until, cut oft* from all human sympa
thies, exiled from the pale of all the beau
tiful genialities of life, having no friends
or companions around him to sooth him in
his moral and physical solitude, deserted
by man, whose enemy he has been, and
loathed by God, whose holy temples he
has sacrilegiously desecrated by his horrid
mockeries of religion, festering from lead
to foot with the polluted and poisonous
puddle water in his veins, standing as an
outcast and pariah on the loue desert of
despair, shrinking from the past, agonized
by the present, and not daring to gaze in -
to the future, beholding in fancy upon the
door of his own soul, "Hope comes not
here that comes to all," 6hut out by mur
kiest clouds from every star that to others
lights the path to the tomb, and writhing
under myriad curses and execrations plied
np like a mountain of living coals upon his
head, he shall long at least to make hii es
cape from earth—scarcely asking to what
more dreadful destiny.
" Goppcrnead Demooatratlon."
Sucb it the language with which the fa
natic9 are pleased to characterize the very
naturyl outgush of jubilant feeling atnoDg
conservative men at the noble stand which
the President hfts taken, " Copperhead,"
forsooth ! It has no terrors now. The
changes have bean rung upon it until it
now only defiles the lips which utter it,
and the types which print it. The fact is,
President Johnson has said to the waves
of fanaticism, THUS FAR AND NO FARTHER.
The nation longs for peace, for quiet. Its
prayer is for rest, that it may go about its
ordinary business in a calm, unimpassion
ed manner. The President is determined
that this needed repose from political agi
tation and civil wai shall be enjoyed by
the natiou, of which he in the head. A
conservative reaction under the guidance
of President Johnson, thank God, has set
in, and it will be operative until a wise and
unimpassioned statesmanship once more
controls the destinies of the country, as it
did in better days, when we had statesmen
in the seats now occupied by the one idea
apostles of agitation and sectionalism, such
as Wilson, Wade, Bumner. What would
these fanatics have more ? Has not the
country shed its blood like water to carry
out their fanatical ideas ? Is not our soil
literally cadaverous and fostering with the
mangled forms of the noblest of our youths
untimely slain ? The country cannot stand
the wear and tear of fanatical rule any lon
ger, and President Johnson is deteimined
that conveisatism shall be once more in
the ascendant. The historical reader will
remember how irksome the hypocrisy, sour
faces and cant of Cromwellian Puritanism
at length became to England, and how the
return of Charles the Second to the throne
of his ancestors was hailed by a universal
outburst of delight. The old festivals,
games and hightides of merr) England,
which had been so lorg under the ban of
the snuffling and crop-eared-praise-God
bare-bones crew, were celebrated once more
with unwonted glee. The Maypole was
seen again on the village green; laughter
and fun and jollity were once more lawful
aud not an offence against God. We, here
in America, have been under the rule of
the "saints"' long enough. It has been a
yoke grevious to be borne. Tears and
blood have run in rivers ; let the fanatics
be content, and confess that the nation has
done its best to give effect to their doctrine.
They are indications already that they DARK
not attempt to thwart the President in his
healing and conciliatory policy. They
rave and tear their hair, and curse the
head of the Government, but the lapse of
a very short time will quiet theif* madness,
for the President will be sustained by the
people.— Banner of Liberty.
THE "VICTORY" IN COKNICTICUT.—
We have no great respect for the Senator
from Kansas, familiarly known as " Jim
Lane." But the Radicals dare not ques
tion his authority, and to them we com
mend this view of the Connecticut election
taken from the Congressional §lobe.
Mr. Lane, of Kansas —But it is 3aid the
President interfered with the Connecticut
election. Let ine say to the Republicans
just one word on the subject of that elec
tion. One more tictory like that, and I
should think the Republican paity would
be unhorsed. It is but the first scratch of
the handwriting on the wall. If you per
mit the Democratic party to take and oc
cupy the platform of Restoring these States
to the Union, admitting these Senators and
Representatives to their places in Congress,
I venture the assertion as a politician, that
the House of Representatives will stand at
the next Congress on the other side as
much as it stands on our side this session.
The people of this country will have those
States restored ; they will have those loy
al members in their places in Congress
and if they cannot do it through the Re
publican party, if they cannot do it through
the Union party, they will do it even thro'
the Democratic party.
In reply to a scurrilous attack upon Sen
ator Dowan, the Philadelphia Daily News,
a Republican print, says :
"He was a Union man when the Re
publicans all claimed to be Union men.
lie is so still; and if they have departed
from the position they pretended to occu
py, and have become disunionists is he to
be censured for not going with them ? The
Tribune may say the same, if it pleaes, of
President Johnson. T. e gap between that
gentleman and the Republican majority
grew wider and wider every day , but An
drew Johnson was a Union man when
Horace Greely was advocating in the col
umns of his newspaper the right of seces
sion, and blubbering every day i let them
We are glad to find that a republican
paper of such ability and relative strength
has the manliness to speak out against his
late party associates, telling them that if
they have become •' disunionists" it is no
argument to influence him to take the
A wee bit of a boy having been slightly
chastised by his mother, sat very quietly
in his chair for some time, afterward, no
doubt thinking very profoundly. At last
he spoke out thus: "Muzzer, I wish Pa'd
get anuzzer housekeeper—l've got tired o'
seein' you round."
TBHMS, ta,oo I'SUI ANTftJM
ODDS AND ENDS.
A deadsseat — a party of ghosts.
A model fi-.h—a sea!-in-wax.
The voice of winter —Snow-balling.
Water — fluid once used as a drink.
The Hoard of Trade —The shop-board.
The rule at Ileligious parties —no cards.
A tea never indulged in by gossips—
In what color should a secret be kept ?
How to get a good servant— Do the
To buy coal cheap—Don't pay to high
a price for it.
Tongue—A little horse which is contin
ually running away.
When a man uses tobacco there is some
vir-chew in it.
When is a tired man like a thief? When
he needs a-resting.
The first and greatest thing in rbetorie
is to have something to say.
Is not the National House of Represen
tatives the modern Babble-on,
To call fever and ague "no great shakes,"
is a contradiction of terms.
When is an undertaker like one of his
own jobs ? When he's a coughin'.
W T hen a man has been kicked it is pre
sumed that the kicker has the V-toe pow
"Deal gently with the (h)crring," as
the Cockney fishdealer said to a customer.
An exchange soggests as an amusement
to young ladies on wet afternoons to knit
What would this world be without wo
man ? A perfect blank—like a sheet of pa
per, not even ruled.
llow to prevent beer from turning sour
—Always leave the key in the tap, and
don't lock the cellar.
The remains of a bachelor who "burst
into tears" at reading a description of mar
ried life, has been found.
Why do gipsies wear scarlet cloaks ? In
order to make an outward show that they
are deeply read.
Where is paper r&oney first mention d
io the bible? When tKe dove brought the
green—back to Noah. •
Mr 9. Jones asks, if the bills before Con
gress are not counterfeit, why there should
be so much difficulty in passing them.
Why is a young lady just from boarding
school like a building committee ? Because
she is ready to ieceive proposals.
Old anglers say that if you wish to catch
a fine fish, you must throw your bait right
at bim. Young ladies may take notice.
"I think our church will last a good
many years yet,''.said a waggish deacon to
his minister: "I see the sleepers are
It is a great comfort to a man with but a
dollar in his pocket to know that if he can
not invest in five-twenties he can in twenty
"Out of sight, out of mind." We don't
sen it. We dropped our pocketbook the
other day and it hain't beer, out of our
If you want to know bow you stand with
any person, get him angry; you never
know what is at a stream
till it is stirred up.
What is the difference between a wealthy
toper and a skillful miner ? One turns his
gold into quarts and the other turn 9 his
quartz into gold.
An old maid is more liberal than a
young one. The latter may always be
willing to lend you a hand, the former will
lend you one, and tbank you too.
♦•So many men, so many minds." Not
always the case. A gentleman asked a
erowd to imbibe the other day. They were
all of one mind and partook.
A friend says he's either head and ears
in love, or else he's got the colic —he can't
tell which, as he is not certain which he.
tasted last, kisses or watermelons.
The reason women so seldom stammer
is becanse they talk so fast—a stammer has
got no chance to get in. People stutter
because they hesitate. But who ever knew
a woman to hesitate about anything ?
A young lady explained to one of our
jours, the other day the distinction between
printing and publishing, and at the conclu
sion of her remarks, byway of illustration,
she said: "You may print a kiss on my
cheek, but you must not publish it."
NEGRO PROCESSION AT NORFOLK—
RJOT AND LOSS OF LIFE.— The negroes of
Norfalk, Va., turned out in large procession
yesterday, in honour of the passage of the
Civil Rights bill. While the procession
was passing through the streets a difficulty
occurred between the negroes and, in which
one white man was killed and his brother
and step-mother mortally wounded. Or
det was finally restored by the military.
VOL. 5 NO. 38