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R L,TTI ;';.
TJ S.COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SI R6EO2
tl. Newton Centre. Larena t ounty .a.
PBO.S.TFTTON, ATTORNF.Y AT LAW (
IjT Tunkh-nnock. l\t. Oili* n Mark I><>." .
•ok, Ttef* rtiei-i.
TT7M. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY A 5 I.AM , o
VV ice in Stark's Brick I'ank ltga .-t , 1
annoek. Pa
Sllf luelllff jDIIUSf.
wax 0 ' w u w a
H A H HIS * \VU( ., I'E N N A .
The undersign'd hiving lately ..nrfoiw-i the j
*' BUEHI.F.H HOI SE " ins*rty, ban '
meaced such alterations and improvement- . - w,.i
render this old and popnlar House n,.. -I. . - 1 t sup*- ,
riar • any Uolel in Um City ot Unms-urg. |
A continuance of the public patronage is relp.ct- ,
fally solicited. G - 0 j, BOLTON- j
"walls hotel,
LA TE A MnnZCA iV KOITS A,
TUNKHANNOCK. M •' Q>! INC. CO.,
rnr<? eitnblishment bis re.-cn'lv l.ecn .' 1. < I .in
furnished in the latest style Everv nt en ton
will be given to the comfort and convemei.ee of those
•"a.
Taakhannn. k, September 11, IS6I.
NORTH BRABCVI HOTEL,
MESUOPPEN, Wl'UMiM* t Ol PA
>Vm. 11. COW 1 RIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING reeumed the proprietorship •! the ab". •
Llwtel, the nudersigm-1 will spare no effort to
fender the beuse an agreeable pl-- t aojeurn for
Wil who may favor it with -^ RTRIGIIX .
i ace. 3rd, 19G3
f> it. .T. c. HK^Kbit
PHYSICIAN A SIT Rt.fiON,
Weuld respecifullv annoum e to the -durn-o
■ting, that he ha located at Tvi.khan..-.k where
he will promptly atten 1t all tail* ' ll 'C !> "■ ''
bin profession. ~ „ , , r
gy Will b- feuni at hom en Saturdays or
each week
gjfaans Iloifl,
towaixtda, X*A..
p. B. B ART LET, _
|Bake *ll. "RAtxAno Horsr. Elmira, N\-
PROPRIETOR.
Tke MEANS lIOTF.L, : oneoftne LABGI.-T
and REST ARRANGED IFou-eo in the .oun'iv - "
H (Med up in the modern and improve -t\ie,
■ad ao pains are ap-ired to nnike it a pleasant nn
raaHle stopping-place for all,
• 3, 021, <y
€URKS,*S2.I£/.&' 1 0.,
■ AXOPACTt'RKBS ANI> wnoL'SAt.B DEALKRS IX
LADIES', MISSES' & GENTS'
£ilfeaittiS;issdUfrf flats
at*D JOBBERS I.V
BATS. CAPS, FCISS STRAW GOODS,
PARASOLS AND U AI Hit 1.1.1.A5.
BUFFALO AND FANCY ROBE.-.
CORSKK i>F I.kOXAKD liTlSf KT,
se&W w#ias.
1. T. CLARK, j
A. • itcser, ►
a. utaasy.r. 3
M. GILMAN,
DENTIST. 4
IV OILMAN, has permanently loented in
P L* hannock Borough, and respectfully ter.'lethi
profeaaiooal services to the cititens of tbi? placcand
•nrreanding country.
ALL WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATIT
1N.
•Nee ever BatWn's Law Offl e near the Post
IbUrt
From the Sixnenny Magaxine,]
TEE MISES'S STOR¥t
"llv the grace of Grxl I am what 1 am !"
I wa-i born in England. I remember noth
ing but poverty—stalking crime and abso
lute want. The houses where I lived were
I lived were ali in various stages of filth
and decay. W lietbur the old bear-cved
old man who k.eked and commanded me
was my father. I never knew. \\ hetlier
the old woman w ho sometimes fed and of—
tener b< at me, wa- mv mother, I cannot
sav. All that 1 know is that 1 had a mis
erable draw-about life, of it. going round af
ter col i victuals*—knocking smaller boys
down to get the contents of their broken
t,askets,ai.d hunting for tags in the gutter.
I suppose I was a rather good looking
hov ; they call me good-looking now, for
an old man. I know I was smart,compar
ing invself with cnildr; nas 1 see them.—
Of course I was like the rest of my class.
I could fight a little, and swear a little,
steal a little. and eat a good deal —that i>
when 1 got the cbai.ee, wl ich was seldom.
I was ignorant—didn't know one letter 1
fmni auothei, and didn't want to. What '
did I care about du.ration—l, who nev 1 j
saw a l ook fom one year's end to anoth
er? And love—grat tndi—hope—l could
of course tu dwrstand neither Nobody
loved me, therefore I foved nnlmdy. No-
Imilv had ever made me grateful—had ev
er held out hope to ine tome strange
impulse was given me one day. I waked
up, sprang from tn\ bundle of straw, and
involuntarily ilie word came from my lips
—"I m going to do something to-day."—
What that something wa-, 1 lad not the
remotest-idt-a, but I put 011 niv ap d'gi. s
f r cht es, and sailed out in my vagabond
war. whistling, caring for in body.
It was about noon, and I had not yet
tasiM a mouthful of f"OIL. I was hungry,
and skulked .about groc -rv shops, hoping I
could get an apple or som* thing that would
star my appetite, tiil I felt in the humor
for begging. Passing around the corner of ,
a public street. I saw a genteel looking
nmu standing at bis horse's head, gazing
ah >ut him,somewhat petplexed.
"Boy," he ctied out. "won t you take
can of my horse for half an hour ?"
"Y< s sir,'' said L
I think it was the first time I had ever
put - n the 'Sir."
"There's a man !" lie exclaimed.—"l've
got considerable fruit, and vou rnu-t guard
it well. litre's a couple of peaches for
you ; just stand hero uuietiy I guess no
body w 11 disturb you."
lie went away, and L stood for a whil •.
till I was tired. Then, thinks I, I'll get a
handful of the fruit and run. Rut for the
first time If>lt an inst met ofsliame at the
suggestion. "lie entrusted me—he saw 1
wa* a mean fo'king fe.fow, too, but he
trusted me, and 1 wont abuse his kind
tvss."
Something like this reasoning ran iu mv
| head.and I squat ted down on the curbstone
; fee ing the importance of an honorable
i tnM, as I had never felt such a thing be
fore. Presently some of mv fellows came
along and hailed me. I told tln-m to go
on They peered about the cart, and saw
the sunny fac s of the peaches.
"We'll have some of them," thev said
"No. you won't." says I. "I'm put in
charge here, and I won't see the first thinw
Stole."
N\ ith that they began a rumpus. —
They reached over the cart. I struck
,*hem, and ns"d sin-h efforts that they nil
| cam- poll-rail upon me, and wo fought till
the blood came, but I vanquished them. —
J .*t then nut came the proprietor.
"\S hat's the m itter ?" <ays lie.
"ft, nothing, only 1 lud to fight for your
stuff there," savs I.
'Y- u did, eh ? You've got a b'ack eve
for it."
•No matter," says I * "I meant them
hoys shouldn't steal a peach and they
didn't neither."
"Well, you've got good pluck, my hoy ;
hi-re's a dollar for you —but don't swear."
My eyes stood out,
"A whole dollar.' savs I.
"Yes, do what yon please with it, but I'd
ndvie vou to buy a pair of shoes."
"Thank you,"' says 1, with a heating
heart, "It pays to he good, don't it ?*'
He smiled a curious smile, asked me
several questions, and ended by taking tne
home with him in his wagon
Home! I thought I was in heaven, al
fo-it I h ol seldom heard of sneh a plaee,—
Mv heatt h"at heavily ev rv time I dared 1
to put my feet upon those rich carpets
The niitrors were something new to me.
The n- xt dav there came a man to see
me. I was washed < lean, and had a good '
suit of clothes. Says he—
"Youngster, I'm going in where you
live, and probably I shall make a bargain
with your people. I want a boy—just
-ueh a bold, e'ever hov as vou are, and if
you behave yourse'f I pr niise vou that
you shall have as pleasant a home as you
desire."
Weil, that was good. I hardlv dared
to speak, to breath, for fear of breaking
the illusion. I never was so happy clear
through as I was that day. They gave me
some light tasks to do—l wish they were
im-re important.
From that dav I was treated as one of
the household. The man was a widower
and had no children, consequently I be
came to him as a son. He educated me
handtondy, and when I was twenty-one he
died, nd left me eevuten tbooeand dol-
•'TO SPEAK IIIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jefferson.
4i
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4, 1866.
lurs. Well,l corirklcrcd myself a rich man.
I gloated over my wealth ; it bectroe ar.
idol to me. llow to increase it was my
first desi.e I consulted competent men,
and under their counsel I put my money
out at interest—-bought stocks > ml tnortga
es. I grew wealthier ; business (my bene
factor It ad stocked me a fancy store) pros
pered, and I was in a lair way, I thought,
to marrv Lucy Manning.
Sweet Lucy Manning ! the most artless,
winning maiden in all the world to me. 1
1 loved her deeply, dearly. .>ll6 was blue
eyed, a .burn haired —her dispositii-n was
that of an angel, and 1 had plighted my
vows to her.
One night I was invited to the bouse of
a prosperous merchant, and there I met a
syren in the person of his niece, a black
eved girl,whose charms and whose fortune
were equally splendid ! She was an heiress
in her ovn tight—she was beautiful and
accomplished. Heavens ! what a voice
wallers—pure, clear, sweet, ravishing
1 was charmed and she was pleiaed with
ine. Alas ! I met her too often. In her
presence I forgot my gentle Lucy ; she
magnetized,thralled me. It was a triumph
to feci that so beautiful, gift, d and wealthy
a woman loved me -me„ who had been
brought up in the purlieus of a city—who
bad known misery and corruption ad the
lir>t years of my life.
Gradually I broke ctf my intimacy with
Lucy. I received no token from her—she
was too proud. But that click grew pale
—that heavenly eye languid- -an.l though
I seldom met Iter, I,knew in my heart that
she was suffering and branded myself a vil
lain.
At last she knew with certainty that I
wa< to marry Miss Reilair. She sent ine
a letter, a touching letter, not one word of
upbraiding, tint one regret! Oh, what a
noble soul I wounded ! And she could
calmly wish tne joy, though the effort
made her heart bleed. I knew it did.
I tried, however, to forget her, but I
could not Even at the time of my mag
nificent wedding, when my bride stood be
fore ine radiant in rich fabrics and glitter
ing diamonds, the white face of poor Lnc.v
glided in between, and made tny heart
thro!> guiltily.
Oh, how rich I grew ! Y'car after year
added to my gold My miserly disposition
b'-gatt tv manifest itself soon after ray mar
ring-. I carried my gold fir.-t to banks,
and then my own safes, I put constraint
011 my wife—for very generously shy had
ma le over her whole fortune t<> me and
began to grumble at expenses. I made our
living so frugal that, she an d
finally tan up large bills wh -re and when
she p!raed. Against this I protested.and
we had open quarrels more than once.
My clothes grew shabby ; I could not af
fo:d t<> buy new ones, although the inter
est of tny investments was more than I
eoul 1 pos*ib!y spend for rational living.
I finally grew disatisficd with everything
but mv money, T neglected mv wife, and
grew cureless of her society. Several gen
tlemeti came to my house, among them a
would be author and celebrity. fly came,
I thought, too often formv good name, and
I ordered my wite to discontinue his com
pany. She refused, and I !o< ked her "p
in In-r room. How she managed to set
herself fiee, I never knew ; hut in tho eve
ning when I returned, she was gone from
the house. That caused me some uneasi
ness. not much, for I was soon absorbed in
t-ki:igr account of mv gains. ft was ppr
haps nine in the evening. I had jnsf man
aged to take up a paper for a moment, to
read out its business details when the door
opened, and in name my wife, dress d he
witchinody, es if just fotu an evening con
cert, followed by that moustached celrbri
tv.
" Good evenirg, my dear." she si id, in
the coolest wav imaginable, and placed a
chair for her friend.
" S'op !" I cried mv jealousy arnus
eil; " That man sits not down in this
h use."
'• That man—a gentleman and my friend
—shall •- it here, sir, if I please," said mv
wife firmly.
Mv passiorfwas excited then as it nev'-r
was before, and I collared the scoundrel.
He was my match; but God of lnaven,
my wife coolly put a dirk knife that she
dr w from a cane into his hand, and lie
stabbed me. I fainted, and remembered
nothing more, till I found myself on a bed
in tny own chamber, watched over by my
housekeeper.
"Where—are—they?" I gasped.
" Gone," was all she said.
It oc tirred to me then like a flash of
lightning that nobodr was near me at the
time I was wounded, that my keys were
about my person, and that I had been tub
bed, p rhaps of all my available property.
The thought threw tne into an agony of
fear. 1 ordered my clothes to be brought
to me. The keys were there. Taking
one of them out, ID id Mrs Ila'e, my
housekeeper, to go to tny safe and bring
tne papers that were there. She returned,
her face white with terror, to say there was
nothing there, and all the little doors were
open
" Ribbed ! robbed !" I yelled, with cur
ses and imprecations, and. again my senses
deserted me.
Brain fever ensued. For weeks I lay
deprived of literally treading the
verge of the grate. Otic morning I was
conscious only of a sinking deathly feeling
as I opened tny eyes. Was it an angel I
saw standing before me, her soft eyes veil
ed with pity, looking down upon me with
the most commiserating gentleness ? For
a moment I thought I might be in heaven
—ha no—l reasoned with myanlf, T loved
monev too well. My treasure was of earth
A"ain I opened my dim eyes. The vision
seemed waver ng now, but on, did it not
wear the sainted, beauty of sweet Lucy
Manning? A. quiet uuutt rable peace
took possession of my entire being. I for
got wealth, health, everything. My past
life seems blotted out,and I was once again
innocent, untouched by the griping hand
of avarice, true loving and loved—and Lu
cy Manning was my idol.
But I recovered slowly, and at last as
my strength snnly returned, I missed her.
As soon as alio saw I could be left with
safety "site had left me, and 011, th blank
—the dreadtnl blank.
1 wandered around my room now so
desolate, an I saw the many evidences of
tny miserly habits. 1 know not why, but
towards my wife my feelings seem to have
undergone a revulsion. I fear I iiated her.
She bad nearly beggared tne, had dect-iv
•' tne, shattered my health, destroyed all
my hopes.
Months passed before I was able to esti
mate the damage that had been done to ine.
Everv means that could he put forth were
used for the recovery of my money, but all
iu vain.
One night I set by the fire a cheerless,
d .-appointed and loneiy man I had been
thinking though s that only burned my
brain, but did not purify tny heart.
"If I hid only married sweet Lucy," I
said again and again, "all this had not
been so."
My housekeeper c irae in with a letter
an unusually large package it was—and
a< it bore a foreign post-mark I opened it
with a tremb'ing hand. What was that?
A rustling crumpled hank note ! Another
and an another came for fi, until there laid
upon my knees twenty bill-* of the largest
denomination. A few trembling lines ac
companying them :
"My husband—l ain dying :my disnast
there is no need of telling you. Forgive
me accept this enclosed as a faint effort to
ward restitution. It is not much ov.-r half
that we took from the safe. The rest is—
I know not where. I ain deserted. Fare
well, forever."
An icy chili thrilled me. It seemed as
if her spectral presence was nmir me. I
slm Idered as I ro'lcd the bills together,
and threw them across the room.
" Lie there, cnrsetl of tny soul," I cried.
"Lie there till I have conquered myself
MV, if the victory is not won till you are
rotten.''
I shut the door up and scaled it, and for
six mouths I toiled like a penniless man,
till I partially redeemed myseif. Bv man
aging cautiously, 1 placed my business oti
a suecesafnl fool ng, and began life as a
new man. It to .k many a year to wear
off my old habits ol parsimony, but every
effort gave me new and agreeable pleas
ure
Meantime Lucy Manning became dearer
to me than she had ever been in the flu-h
of youth. I entreated her forgiveness,
humble 1 myself to a confession, tested my
self in all ways, and convinced her at last
that I was as worthy now as once I was in
seeming. On the day of my wedding, I
opened trie sealed door. The bank note
lay where I had thing then). I took them
up with the pride of a conqueror, and plac
ing them in her hands, exclaimed ;
44 They are 110 longer my masters ; use
th em as you will."
Now I am a man !—redeemed from the
thraldom of covetousncss, I have three
blooming children. Lucy is an angel of
goodness, and I write of ruvavlf as I did at
the beginning — 44 lly the grace of God 1
ain what I am."
WOMAN. — When girls are grownup
they begin to be courted and caressed;
then they think that the recommending
themselves to the afF ctions of the men is
th'- only business they have to attend to.
and so presently fall to tricking, and dress
ing, and practising all the little engaging
arts peculiar to their sex. In these they
place all their hopes, a\ they do, all their
happiness in the success of them. lhit it
is tit they should he given to understand
that there are other attractions much more
powerful than these ; that the respect we
pay them is not due to their b -antv so
much as their modesty and innocence, and
umfF/cted virtue. And these are the true,
the irresistib'e charms, such as will make
the surest and most lastingeonquests.—Ep
ictet'is.
MAXIMS. —Geo. Francis Train teaches
his children as follows; He savs: My
child, commit this short sermon to memo
ry, and teach it to your little frie ds at
school and you shall receive ten dollars
everv Christmas:
"Don't drink. Don't smoke. Don't
chew. Don't swear Don't gam Me. Don't
lie. Don't steal. Don't deceive. Don't tat
tle. Be polite. Be generous. Be kind. Be
neat. Studv hard. Play hard. Be in earn
est. Be self-reliant Be just and fear not.
Read good books. Love your fellow-mar
as well as God. Love your country, and
obev the laws. Love truth. Love virtue
an J be happy "
Grant's father lias been appoin
ted postmaster of Covington, Kentucky.—
Mr. Grant lias always b 'en a consistent
' Democrat, and voted for McClellan at the
last Presidential election.
The local elections in New York,
Illinois, and lowa, indicate large Demo
cratic gains. The people are going back
! te first priseiples.
"THE RUMP,"
Hon. John Van Ilurcn, made a telling
speech at Bridgeport, Conn., on the 7th
inst., from which we make the following
interesting extract :
They (The Radicals) insist upon it that
there uas a great want of dignity in tlw
President or. the 2'2d of February It is
barely possible they may have been spoil
ed by what has gone before (laughter,)
and that ordinary Democratic manners of
fend the fastidious tastes of these that are
accustomed to the high aristocratic tone of
his late lamented predecessor. But fur
ther, they charge him with imitating Crom
well, and ihey say that there are indica
tions that he intends to tr< at. this Congress
as Cromwell treated the old Rump Parlia
ment after the execution of Charles the
First. Let us look for a single moment
as we are upon the question of dignity, at
what Cromwell did, and 1 will road you a
little extract from Hume, as to the manner
in which Cromwell dissolved that Parlia
ment :
."And suddenly starting up, lie loaded
the Parliament with the vilest- reproaches
for their tyranny, oppression and robbery
of the public. Then stamping with his
foot, which was a signal for the soldiers to
enteij 'for shame,' said he to the Parlia
ment : 'get ve gone ; give place to honest
er men. to those who will mi.re faithfully
discharge their trust. You are no longer
a Parliament; I teil you, you are no long
er a Parliament. The Lord has done
with you; lie lias chosen other instru
ments lor carrying 011 His work.' Sir
llarrv Vane exclaiming against this pro
ceeding, he cried with a loud voice, Oh !
Sir Harry Vane, Sir Harry Vane! the
Lord deliver me from Sir Harry Vane!"
I think the Sir Harry Vane of that day
must he the Sumner ofthis,
•Taki ig hold of Martin by the cloke,
'Thou art an adulterer,' said he. To a
third, "Thou art a drunkard and a glut
ton," and "Thou an extortioner, to a fourth.
"lie commanded a eoldief to seize the
mace. 'What shall we do with this bau
ble ? hero, lake it away. It is you,' said
lie, addressing himself to the House, 'that
have fore dme to this. I have sought the
Lord night and day th t he would rather
slav me than put ine upon this work.*'
Having commanded the soldiers to clear
the hall, he himself wimt "lit the lal, arid
ordering th.' door to be locked, departed
to his lodgings in W1 iteludl.
In this furious manner, which so well
denotes his genuine character, did Crom
well, without the least opportunity or even
murmur, annihilate that famous assembly
which had filled all England with the re
nown of its action and with astonishment
at its crimes, and whose commencement
was not more ardently desired by the peo
ple than was its final dissolution.
Now, it is flattery to call this Congress
a Rump Congress. [Laughter.J it is a
great detf! more like a Parliament that sue
cueded and which was known as the llare
bones Parliament, in which there were
members wore all sorts of names, as de
scribed by a waiter of that day, who, says
(••Brown's Travels in England;" page
270:)
"'Cromwell,' says Cleveland, 'hath beat
up his drum clean through the Old Testa
ment. You may learn the genealogy of
our Saviour by the names of his regiments.
The muster-master has no other list than
tiie fir-t chapter of Sr. Mathew, The broth
ers of this praise God Bareboncs had for a
name. If Christ iiad-not-died- for-vou-vou
-liad-been-d —d-Baraboues ; but the peo
ple, tired of this long name, retained only
the last word, and commonly gave him the
appellation of Damned Barebones' "
Now one would not have to go long thro'
the present Congress and the Reconstruc
tion Committee before finding a gentleman
who answers exactly to the description of
"damned Barebones." [Laughter.] But,
as I sav, they are the most extraordinary
bo ly that ever organized, and to call them
a Ruuip Parliament —which was. in fact, a
representation of England, however long it
might have continued its session and its
power —is to flitter them. Why, just look
at it! Eleven States are unrepresented
in that body, and about half of the residue
are utterly misrepresented by men elected
in a time of excitement, when there was
no fair opportunity for an expression of
opinion, and under Circumstances that have
entirely changed in Congress nominally
under a Constitution which says "represen
tatives and direct taxes shall be apportion
ed among the Several States which mav be
he included within this Union, according
to their respective numbers. Each State
shall have at least one representative "
The Constitution also says : " The Sen
ate ot the United States shall be composed
of two Senators from each State, chosen by
the Legislature thereof for six vears, and
these senators shall each have oue vote."
Now look at that body, with eleven States
entirely represented under a Constitution
which declares that each State shall have
or.e representative in Congress, and that
the Senate of the United States shall be
composed of two Senators from each State
—eleven States entirely unrepresented in
cither IIoue of Congress. What more?
Why, tinder a Constitution which requires
each House to Judge of the election and
returns of its own members, tliev pass a
joint resolution, by which they take from
themselves the power separately to judge
of the returns of their members and pro
claim ihat neither House shall admit any
person from the States foimerly in rebellion
' till both Houses have acted upon the sub
' j#et by a legislative or otharwii#. What
TunMs, sa.oo PER
! more ? Why, while in this organized state
I mutilated and imperfect, a man gets up irt
the Senate and charges the President with
whitewashing the South, and another man
I says that the President, I believe with Mr
Dixon of your own State, in which he sim
ply gave his views with regard to the du
ties of Congress, "woulo have cost Charles
I the Frst his head in the days in which he
| lived."
Such a body as that, I say, is an illegal
j unconstitutional assemblage. It i 9 iu on
| point pi law a mob, and in my judgment
the mayor of Washington neglects his du
ty every day in not dispersing them as
such. [Applause and laughter.] And
that is the noble army of constitutional de
fenders. which the Republican Convention
of this State indorses, and which the peo*
pie are called upon to sanction and ap
prove.
J&T Artemns Ward, in the prospectus
of his Irving Hall entertainment in New
.York, tempts the public to come and see
him with the following inducements :
The festivities will be commenced by the
pianist, a gentleman who used to board in
the same street with Gottscbaffc. The
man who kept the boarding house remem
bers it distinctly. The overture will con
sist of a medley of airs, including the
touching new ballads, 4- I)ear Sister, is
there any Pie in the house ?" "My Gen
tle Father have you any Fine Cut About
You?" "Mother, is the battle o'er, and is
it safe for Me to come home from Cana
da ?" and, (by request of several families
who haven't heard it) "Tramp, Tramp,
Tramp, the Boys are Munching"—While
the enraptured ear drinks in this sweet
music, [ive pay our pianist nine dollars a
week and "find him,"J the eye will be en
tranced by the magnificent green baize
covering of the Panorama. This green
baize cost 40 cents a yard at Stewart's
store. It was bought in deference to the
present popularity of "The wearing of the
Green." We shali keep up with the times
if we speuU the last dollar cur friends have
got.
As TRISII SERMON, —Mrs. Mulvany ye
must die, a though ye're so hale and hearty;
ye must die, that ye must. And yo i, Mr,
Raffertv, must die too, although yer, so
lean and lank that ye scarce make a shad
ow when the sun shines, ye must die, that
ye must And you, Mr. Intskdlen, you
must die, too, that ye must, And you,
too, Teague McGinnis, for all you are so
rosy-cheeked, and are foriver making love
to the girls at Donnybrook Fair, ye must
did, yes, ye must all die. I must die, too
although I am the pastor of the parish,and
have the care of voursowls, I must die, too
and when I shall be coming up before
Goodness, and Goodness is after saying to
me—''Father Mulrice Lafferty, how is
your parish off for drunkenness ?" I shall
say, "< )cb, mighty elaue, yer honor."—
And Goodness will say—"Father Mulrice
Laffeity, how is yer parish off" for thaving,
and such like deadly sins f "Och, mighty
, clane, yer honor." Do you see it's a good
character 1 shall be giving Goodness of
yezall; but when Goodness shall say to
me, "Father Mulrice Lafferty, how have
they paid you tlnir Easter dues?' - —what
shall I say to that, ye blackguards?
BEAUTIFUL SENTIMENT.—I confess that
increasing years bi ing with them an in
cieasing respect tor men who do not suc
ceed in life, as those words are commonly
used. Heaven is said to be a place for
those who have not succeeded upon earth;
and it is surely true that celestial graces do
not thrive and bloom in the hot blaze of
worldly prospeiity. 11l success sometimes
arise from a superabundance of qualities
in themselves good—from a conscience too
sensitive, a taste too fastidious, a sclf-for
get fulness too reti ling, I will r.ot go so
far as to say, with a living poet, that "the
world knows nothing of its greatest men,"
but tbere are forms of great ness, or at least
excellence, which die and make no sign;"
there are martyrs that miss the palm but
not the stake, heroes without the laurel,and
conquerers without triumph.
There is danger in being too neat.
An old lady in llollard scrubbed her sit
ting room floor until she fell through it in
to the cellar.
BEN. BUTLER DISGORGING. —The New
\ ork Express states that Butler has paid
Messrs. Smith & Bros., of New Orleans,
SBO,OOO in gold, which, they alleged, he
abstracted from tiieir vnults, together with
interest, all costs and Sheriff's poundage,
making an aggregate of over 1150,000.
No wonder it was said Ben. had a good
receipt lor sore eyes.
Josn BILLING'S MAXIMS —Thare is on
ly one advantage that 1 ken see in going
tew the devil, and-that iz the road is easy,
and vu are sure to git thare.
T •
1 am violently opposed tew ardent spirits
as a beverage, but for manufakturing pur
poses I think a leetle ov it tastes good.
PRESIDENT JOHNSON has appointed Gen
F. P. BLAIR, Jr., collector ot customs for
the Port of New Orleans. It is supposed
by some that his Confirmation by the Sen
ate is doubtful, he being a supporter of
Johnson, and now declared to be a " cop
perhead" by the mongrelists.
The woman who rushed to a sol
dier's arms, has been sent to prison fox
having government property in her posaeth
aion,
VOL. 5 N0.34