JC3T "What do you tak for thai ariiclwr 1 Inquired Obediah oi a young Mi*•- u Fifteen shillings." ( " "Ain'i jroue Hiilederlf'"?ji;t "Why," she replied, blushing, " ell the young men tell rae so.'* - ■ ■ i . 'I JCST That was e emert > who, bearing his mother remark that aba was fond of music, exclaimed, "Then why don't yon boy me a drum ?" ti A young man in conversation on* evening, chanced to remark, '.'l am no prpplt et I" .'True," replied a lady proseot, "no profit to yourself or to any one also." yy A Cleveland paper adviaaa the au thorities to "close'tin*- rum-holes" • Soma people do as often as they shut their mouths. lie was a poetical chap whodaaeribea ladies' lips as the " glowing gateway of beana, pork, soorkrcut and potatoes." V •' ■ • 1 ' * J2C "Now, chi Idren," asked * school in spector, " who love s all men ?" A little girl not four years old, and evidently not potted In the catechism, answered quickly," Ail wo man." OUGHT MARRIED PEOPLE TO SLEEP To gether ?—Hall's Journal of'Health-*-'which claims to be the high authority in medical act ence has taken a stand agaiuat married people sleeping together, but thinks they had better •leep in adjoining rooms. It says that.king and queens do not sleep together, and why s booid other eouple ? Think of the idea of separating a.newly married cooplanna cold winter's night, because Hall's Journal of Health says so I You go to graaa Mr. Uall t py A preacher remarked the other day that the women of the present day are gene rally a shiftless set. How did the rascal know that 7 .*2 * > Jff*l ONE or THE STATES.— "Bob,where'a the State of matrimony 1" ' • i ■ v > c . "It's one of the United State*. It ia bound ed by bugging and kissing on one side, and cradles and babies on the other. It waa dta covered by Adam and £ve, while trying to fitnd ji northwest passage ont of paradise. The cliioateis sul'ry till you pass the tropics of house-keeping, when squally weather; com* monly sets in with such power as to keep all hands as cool a6 cucumbers. For the princi pimroads leading to this interesting. States, consult the first pair of blue eyes you run a gainst." — ■■>. .■ | SI, ,*{,-■ ; A Father who had jerked his provoking ton across hie knee; and was operating with' great veheme r.ce on the exposed portion of the urchin's person, when the young ono>duc into the parental legs with bis venomous teeth "Blsies what are you bitin me for !" Wall, dad, who begtuned this ear war 7" Two SHARP. —An old man picked op a half dollar io the street: "CHd' man,' that's mine," said a keen looking rascal, "so hand it over." "Did thine have ,a hole in it ? asked the oIJ man. "Yes,?, replied4he other smartly. "Then it ie not thine,'! • cnildfty re plied the old man; thou ipast, lean to ha a little sharper next time, my boy." A recent meeting of a pariah/ w sblm% straight bodied and most exemptary deacon submitted a report, in writing, of tbedefcti tute widows and others standing ID need of, assistance in the parish. ."Are vsa attre, deacon," asked another solemn btotbet,'*thaf, you have embraced all the widows V\ He said he believed the had dope aof. but K-ony had been omitted, the omiasioo could be ea • aily corrected. A CAPITAL EVASION.—'TWO literary ladies, were lately witnesses in 0 trial. 1 ' One of them hearing the usual queation asked "What is your name 1 and bow old are you?" turned to her companion and ■aid: "I do not like to tell my age , net that I have any objection to having it known; but I don't want it published in all tha newspa pers." " 1 i "Well," said the witty Mr*. . "J will tell you how to avoid it. i You have heard the objectioa to all hearsay evidence ; tell them you don't remember when you waa born, and all you know of it la hearsay." , *** — TIB • -T-. THE COQUETISII MRS—— ., has just re turned from a pleasant trip to Washington. She only took with her forty-two dresses, twenty shawls, nineteeu bonnet f, and two hundred pairs of gloves. ''Surely," eaid a friend, who happened to be present when she was unpacking, "you did nut take all that with you." "I merely took what waa indispensable, my dear. 1 left behind ms all that was cumbersome." "Ah, yes, 1 under stand, Jane,—.your husband." COMICAL —A good deacon,.at a eoftfeiance meeting in the town of D about thirty miles North of Boston, -addrw-aed his auditors one Sabbath evening as follows : "My friends, there ie e new doctrine going ab >ut now a days. Wa. are told that all mankind arc going to Heavqw. But. my brethren and sisters, we hope tot bettei) things!" I I 4 Courting in the country ie altogether dlf ferent institution from the eity article. To the former place yon get rosy Hps, swaat fi der, johny cakes, and f"" 1 * madn*by astqig ~ sad, in the latter, a collection,of etarehstf phrases, formal manners, fine• silk,ifihjeme? ry, and girls got up secundum a item. Jjl' msys take to rural districta when yam waot togetAgeod at vie of eel too. WAIfTED ! nd yiqu, • -v . 100,000 XJr > v .. Menand Women taoll, amdeexamine for themselves, the new and splended stock of SPUING & SCMCMER ■ 1 .* .* —AT t. t ( a 1;• *-• ■< n-)i 1 ' I •> THE HEAD QUARTEBS •. i - i '4 v .; -f . . for Good bargains. Hall stead & Howe. ; Have just opened a large and well selected stock of goods at the store former!?.-occupied by 0. L. Hallstead & Son at NICHOLSON DEPOT where can be found the handsomest . and cheapest stock of goods in the country, consisting of foreign and do mestic DRY GOODS! hi *• j *.*'. • 'I *!: \ Clothß, Cassimereß, Muslins, Sheet ings, Ticking, Calico's Delanes, Flannels, and all kinds of Mourning Goods. Alpaccas, Black Silks, Ginghams, , Balmoral and Skeleton Skirts, Canton Flan nels, Nankeen, and Carpeting j of all kinds H Ail ISAM of Rhyme inspire my song, .A nd l.nd to me thy tr aring wing, LtAit while I plod, the thoughtless throng Led on by false God or King, Seek. in vein, the place to fnd, T hat sariifactjon^ives human kind, E ach strives the favored goal to eeek, A nd straggling on with might and main. D .Ives deep in earthy oceans sweep, A. nd followa mammon's motly train, •V L V) Oath who;!. gilded palnee lies 4 est ruction to her votaries. one, let wisdom speak, vy ft ah e'e hinted, now the vows: ilYVT'"'* rr e 1 - * ' VV orth of your money do you setk 3" E ro it' too lato, go'lo ITALSTKAD A Bowa's. • uJM >'}.-• t HATS & CAPS NotioHß Sf Varieties 1 * r Com* prising Ho- i ( ; i siery, Gloves,Thead Buttons,, tfuspendera, . Neckties, Collars, Hand kerchiefs, Hair Brushes, Tooth Brushes, Gum, Ribbon and Cords, Tape, Crotchet braid, Wecked collars, fancy head drenses tidy cotton, carpet binding combs, fancy soaps r } Carpet bags, trunks, Valises, Um brellaa, Blank J. BcAkty Paper Envelopes &c., &c. &c., ZZotrdwctre of all kinds, such as Nails, JHinges, Screw®,- l Dobr Latches and Knobs, Locke apd CUTLERY of every de scription. v - Also Byes^lntg®,.Paints, Varnish es, Fish Flaxseed and Benzine Oils, Glass, Putty, etc. ■ Quefeftfs & Glassware Cf a'l dcipda Stone and Earthenware. A large Stock of . A. • 1 *.. *u< .. . *• Composed of sugar, coflfee, teas, rice, corn starch, Barley, Bak powder/ oap% candles, tobacco, and segars, salt, fish, meat, cheese, &c. aii.o i &,ctodShoes, for Men, Women and Children. Goods- o . ji. a Cfljiapdqeq yaurselves and we WHIP F°U good bargains. • n. P HALLSTjLiD, Nicholson June 88, WNS <•461/ * JJEL. LACK* WESTERN R. R Summer Arrangement—l Bos, PASSENGER TRAINS LEAVE WWTWIM J SASTWABD. Morning I Evcn'g | STATIOM I Morn'g I Evening Train | Train | | Train | Train. A. M | P.M. | I A. M. ,| P. M. 900 400 New York* 5.20 10JO 11.25 7.05 New Hampton •••• 2.35 827 1142 7.22 Washington 2,19 811 11 54 7.34 Oxford 207 800 HI2 05 7,45 Bridgeville 156 7.50 aiL ... w Tor five "Orressive years the " "■ • -ASI 0f l""—- WB mike a t£Tr f0 K rte Bn ' , b * Manufacturing *7tera, are enabled to * Pr,C * Which wi " P^'ude PRICKI.-*NO. 1, SRTRQ OCTITA J Rosewood plain caw, •275. ' °°™ n Na 2, Seven Octave, round oorners. Rosewood heavy me aiding #3OO. ' Mwood No 3- Seven O tave round ooraera p Louia XIV style #321, **Ood fiMW Ceah! In Current Foods, v4-n46-lyr AA C, OPIN AGAIN. The Grocery end Provision Store, on Stark' Brick comer, lately owned by T B Wall, has been purchased by the undersigned, and will bo kept as a nan u run sua His Block comprises TEAS. SUGARS,COFFEE,SALERATUS, GINGER, NUTMEG. SPICES, RAISINS, FIGS, PRUNES, DRIED BEEF. SMOKED HALIBUT, CRACKERS, CHEESE. COD FISH, MACKEREL, HERRING, and all other articles usunlly found in an esnblishment of the kind, which will be sold at LIVE, AND LET LIVE PRICES. RANSLER ROSS. Tunkhannock, June 2b, 1865. v4n26 DR. TALBOTT'K PILLS. (ANTI-DYSPEPTIC,) Composed ol highly Concernrated Extracts from ,i *> . v * ~ HOOTS ANT) HERBS, Of the greatest medicinal value, prepared from the original prescriptions ot the celebrated Dr TAI.BOTT, and used by bim w>th remarkable success for twenty years. An infallible remedy in all DISEASED OP THE LIVER, OR ANY DKRA.VGKMF.NT OF THE Digestive Organ, THEY CURE Diarrhoea. Dyspepsia, Scrofula, Jaundice, Biliousness, Liver Complaint. The well-known D-. MOTT says of these Pills :—"I have used tbe formula from which your Pills are made, in my practice for over 12 years , they hav the finest effect upon the Liver and Digestive Or gans of any medicine in the world, and are the most perfect Purgative which has ever yet been made by anybody. They are safe and pleasant to take, but powerful to cure. Their penetrat.ng properties stimulate the vita! activitli sof the body, remove the obstructions of its organs, purifying the blood, and expel disease. They purge out the foul humor which breed and grew distemper stimulate sluggish or disordered organs into their natural action, and iopart a healthy tone with strength to the whole system. Not only do they cure the every day com plaints of everybody, but also formidable and dan gerous diseases, and being purely vegetable are free from any risk or harm. No person who has once used these Pills will ever be without them." They create pure blood and remove all impurities fron the v9temii hence are a positive cure tor FEVERS, HEADACHE, PII,EM, MER CURIAL DISEASES AND HEREDI TARY HUMORS. DOSF. —For adults, one pill in the morning ; for children 8 years, half a Pill. RT" Price One Dollar per Box. supplied, or sent by Mail, post paid, to any part of the United States or Canadaoonreretpt of price. No Gen uine -without the facsimile signature of V. Mott Talbott, M D V. MOTT TALBOTT A Co., No. 62 Fulton St., New York. v4n4l ly. HARDWARE & IRON , - HUNT BRO'S & BIAIR NOW OFFER FOR ALE IRON, STEEL, NAILS AND SPIhES, MINE RAIL. RAILROAD SPIKES, ANviLS. BELLOWS. PLAIN A Ot NVEX HOltoE-SIIOES. HAM MERED HORSE NAILS. WROUGHT IRON, BUILDERS' IARDIR I CARPEN TERS' TOOLS, (ALL WARRANTED,) nUBS, SPOKES, FELLOES, SEAT SPINDLES, CARRIAGE SPRINGS, AXLES. PIPE BOXES, SPRING STEEL, BOTTS, NUTS, WASH ERS BELTING, PACKING, GRIND STONES; PLASTER PARIS, CEMENT, HAIR, SHOVELS, WHITE LEAD FRENCH WINDOW GLASS, Ac., Ac., ALSO SASH, DOORS AND BLINDS ON HAM)IN ASSORTMENT AND MAN UFACTURED 3 0 ORDER LEATUEER AND FINDINGS FAIABAK'S SALES. miotou ut.rch 26. IBb3. vln33- FRUITAND ORNAMENTAL TREES! Shrubs, Vines, &c AT OLDJPRIGES, We, the subscribers, take this method of informing the public that we are prepared to furnish first class Nursery Stock at original prices before ibe war. The Stock embrm-ea the BEST FRUITS of all I kio Is, anil choicest SHRUBS and VINES, that can i be grown in this latitude, comprising Apples, Pears, Plums, Qiiinces, Cherries, Apricots, Kect&rines,Crab- Gooseberries, Purrants, Rasp berries, Mulberries, Rhubarb or Wine Plant, Grapes, Flowering Shrubs, Evergreens, and Ornamental Trees, an Flowers, all varieties, All AT'ierg from all parts of Wyoming tnd adja cent Counties wifl receive sp-cial attention. They would call particular attenti >n to tbe T as sortment of GRAPES and small Fruits, and to lh ; fact that they cm furnish everything as low as anv ' other reliable dealer. Poat Office address, Providence Luserne Co., Pa. MAGEE A SMITH. HENRY MAGEE WM E, SMITH V4PTH 3XT M W _ CABINET AND CHAIR MANUFACTORY! The subscriber has just opened a new Furniture Cabinet and Chair Manufactory in Tunkhannock, next door to C. M. Koon's grocery store— where are kept on hand and manufactured to order: TABLES of all aires, patterns, and styles. CHAIRS Cane-seat, Flag-bottom, and common. BUREAUS ot all styles, sizes, and prices. BEDSTEADS, Cottage and common. CENTRE TABLES, WORK STANDS, BOOK CASES, and indeed every thing which can be found in tbe largest furniture establishments in the country, which he will sell at prices as low as they can be bought in any town outside of the cities. B'eing sat isfied that be ean compete, both in workmanship and prices with any establishment in the country, he so licits the public patron-tge. REPAIRING of all kinds done in a neat, substan tial and workmanlike manner. N. B.—Old cane-seat chairs, new-seated and re paired. UNDERTAKING.—Having a Hearse of his own and having had much experience, be will attend this department of tbe business on short notice and in a satisfactory manner. ABRAHAM IIAAS. July 16, 1862.—r1n491y CROCKERY!!! A Large Stock just Opened AT T. L. ROSS CP'S., "WALL PAPER. WALL PAPER. WALL PAPER. WINDOW SHADES. WINDOW SHADES. WINDOW SHADES. OF ALL STYLES. CLOTH SHADES WITH BORDERS. CLOTH SHADES WITH BORDERS. FIXTURES AND ROLLERS,COMPLETE FIXTURES AND ROLLERS COMPLETE EMBROIDERED MUSLIN CURTAINS. EMBROIDERED MUSLIN CURTAINS EMBROIDERED MUSLIN CURTAINS. A LSO Large Stock of White Goods: SWISS MULS DOTTED SWISS MUSLIN, BRILLIANTS, JACONETS, LACES, BALMORAL SKTRTS, SPRING SKIRTS. GLOVES, REAL AL EXASBRKB KID. And a Large Stock of YANKEE MOTIONS. Iron, ails, White-Lead, Zinc, Linseed Oil, Glass, Putty, Door-Locks, aud a genera assortment of BULDLFISHA RDWBARE. Fish, of all kinds. Casb. Paid for ail kinds of Grain. Tunkhannock, March, 9th 1864. GRH.BA.T WAT.TO OF WATCHES & JEWELRY, • 1,000,000, WORTH ! To l>e disputed of at ONE DULI.AR each, with out rega r d to value, not to be paid jor until you kaow what you are to leceive. BY A, H. ROWEN & CO., (Agents for the Manufacturers,) Mo 36 Beehuan Street, New-York, I'fT" Read th" following list of Articles to be sold for ONE DOLLAR 100 Gold Hunting-Caso Watches-•• each #125 00 100 " Watches, various styles ••• • " 7500 100 " Ladies' Gold Watches " 50 0C 500 Silver Watches. each #2O 00 to 35 00 6,000 Latest style vest & neck chains 5 00 to 20 00 5,500 Gent's Caliiornia diamond pins " 500t020 00 4,000 Caliiornia diamond eardrops " 5 00 to,lo 00 3,000 Miniuture Revolving Pins-- " 5 00 to 10 00 2,000 California Diamond and enamelled Gent's scarf pins new styles •' 5 00 to 10 00 2.000 Masonic and Emblem pins-. " 3 00 to 10 00 2.500 Geld Band Bracelets engraved '* 300t020 00 3.000 Jet and Mosaic Brooches- •• • " 300 to 10 00 2,000 Cameo Broochas " 500t020 00 3.<'00 Coral Ear Drops " 400 to 600 2.000 Ladias' Watch Chains. " 800 to 15 00 6,000 Gent's PtDs.asplenUid assort't" 200to10 00 4,oooSolitaire sleeve Buttons-••• •' 300 to 10 00 g,OOO Studs and Sleeve Buttons, in 1 sets, 300to10 00 5,000 Sleeve Buttons, plain, k en graved • 200 to 800 10,000 plain and engraved Rings-..-' 2 60 to 10 00 8,000 Lockets, richly engraved-" 2 00 to 10 00 • 15,000 aete,Ladies' Jewelry, new and t latest styles 600t012 00 | 5.00 Handsome Seal Rings " 300 to 800 • 2.000 Sets Bosom Studs • 250 to 600 I 1 000 Gold Pens an-1 Gold holders " 15 00 to 25 00 j 2,000 Sets Jet and Gold Pirg and Ear Drops, latest styles, very I rio'i 6 00 to 10 00 ; 2,000 Gold Thimbles. Pencils. Ac-- " 400 to 600 10,000 Gold Pei s, and silvet cases-- "500 to 300 10,000 " " Ebony holders-- ' 400U 500 This entire list of beavtiful and valuable goods will he sold for Oxx DOLLAR each. Cer'ificates of all lha above articles will be placed in euvelopea, and seeled. These envelopes are sent by mail, as I ordered, without regard to choi-e. On the receipt I of the certificate ycu will see what you are to have, ' and than it it at your option to aend the Dollar and | take the article, r not. Five certificates can be ordered for #1 ■ j eleven for #2 ; thirty far #6 j eix:y five for #lO ; and one hun dred for #ls- We will aend a single Certificate on the receipt of 26 oenta for one certificate ami our cir ca'a* w,, k 'vine A. H. ROWEN Sl CO., 96 Beekmau Street, N. Y Bex 4270, flliflnf HOT&nc*ni. MmSBFY / T vumomt. H/zMI iKfU'i 4?>fIIWPiWWW "-tiNon. Ufr r k>> -- I' mjchi***. BU Kw ilpllPin iSsDI rams mm CELEBRATED ELASTIC STITCH 5 SE¥ING-MACHIH, H'ere awarded the highest Premiums 010? all Competitors, at the f)t 6.tThey require no taking apart lp (tfeae arUwt no • Lessons'* t° eet regular Unite* to operate Machine,, , . „ ~, k . P. 1 lease call and examine end dopofylrMt ee yourself, or send tor circular with set&plee ef PR* ing, v ' ■ PINKLE & LVOV N •. Cf No. 638 BROADTUCT