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fata.
nR AS, W,L ITTI.E ATTORNEY'S A
XV LAW, Office on Tioga street, Tunkhanno
Fa.
1 R. J. C- BECIVER .
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
Would respectfully announce to the citizensofß y
the has located ■ Tunkhannock who
will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
bo found at home on Saturdays o
ffC
riEO 9.TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW
(jr Tunkhonnock, Fa. Offioe in Stark s Brick
Block, Ttoga street.
HS. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County la.
Wm x. piATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of
fice in Stark's Brick Block, Tioga St., Tunk
hanueck, Fa.
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE,
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted an
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
wao patronize the House.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor :
Tunkhannock, SeptcinW 11, 1861.
WORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
.MF.SIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Wm. H. CORTRIGIIT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
fender the house an agreeable place of sojourn for
.11 .ho mo, taor i. .iih ™" c n , [T[i i HU T.
June, 3rd, 1863
Hotel
TOWANBA, PA.
D- B- BART LET,
(Late ot the BBRAIHARO HOI.SK, F.LMIRA, N. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, i- one of the LARGEST
and BEST ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
U fitted up in the most modern and improved style,
pains are spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeUole stopping-place for all,
v 3, n2l, ly.
M. GILMAN,
DEMT,ST ' -^
M.
professional services to the citizens of this place and
"a?™'wSrTw/rkasted, to give satis.
O.er Ttttton'a Law OFFIC, Bear the PITS
Office.
Dec. 11, 186 L
USE NO OTHER ! —BUCUAN'S SPECIFIC
FILLS are the only Reliable Remedy for all
Diseases of the Seminal, Urinary and Nervous Sys
ems. Try one box, and be cured, ONE DOLLAR
A BOX. Oo# hex will perfect a cure, or money re
ended. Seat by mail on receipt of price.
JAMES S. BUTLER,
Station D. Bible Pouse
New York,
General .Agent
v3-*3l>3m M. &Co
MJIH CLAIM
CONDUCTED BY
TIARVY AND COLLINS,
WASHINGTON, D, C-
In order to faciliate the prompt ad-
Uttment of Bounty, arrears of pay, Fensions and
•tber Claims, due sosdiers and other persons from
tiheGovernmont of the United States. The under
g wed has mode arrangements with the above firm
bouse experience and close proximity to, and daily
■ ereourse with the department; as well as the ear
reknowledge, acquired by them, of the decision*
•yquently being made, enables them to prosecute
taitns more efficiantly than Attorneys at a distance,
japogsibly do All persons entitled to claims ofthe
Lvedescription can have them properly attended
alaebbyiing on me and entrusting them to my care
HARVEY SICKLER,
Agt. for Ilarvy & Collins,
- khannC"k.P*
„ To eSMSUiviPTIVES.
Consumptive suff/* > receive a valuable pre-
Suis, aVraihaiSrrPV' h s ma (f'rec OD oi
41 illiatusburg,
• •"Kings Co.,
H-aH-Smo JfewYor
(The Slodh ffranclt Democrat
poet's Corner.
THE SOLDIER'S WIDOW.
BY MRS, PIDSLKY.
She knelt beside his dying bed,
And kised hie pallid brow ;
She vainly pressed his icy hand—
He cannot heed her now,
She calls his name in accents low,
Her tears are en his face ;
He speaks not, moves not, for he lies
In death's last cold embrace.
They tell her that the angels wait
To bear him to his rest ;
She hears them not, sbo only strives
To clasp him to her breast.
She only knows that he has been
The gunlight of her home ;
She only feels that she is left
To walk the world alone,
Where is the hand that strewed her path
So lovingly with flowers ?
Where u the heart that clung to hers
In sunshine and in showers?
That hand is cold that heart is still,
Her dream of love is o'er ;
And now, upon this dreary earth.
They'll cheer her path ao mor* !
Jjklnt
LOVE I\ A STAGE COACII.
BY AMY RANDOL.RH.
The stage was nearly full-
Everybody knows what that means on a
burning August afternoon, when the sun
glow 3 like a live coal in the fervid sky, and
the dust raises up in den s e columns around
the slowly revolving wheels. All the passen
gers poor, tiavel worn mortals—were tired
and cross ; veils became an abomination, and
the palm-leaf fan, wielded by the stout lady
in the corner, was eyed with envious glances
by eveiybody.
Old Mr. Thorne was fast asleep and snor
ing in his nook—probably wandering through
green fields where dust never sullied the dai
sies aud hot reads were unknown, in hiS
peaceful slumbers. But Isabel and Minnie,
his two daughters, could tv-t sleep and con
sequently reaped a full benefit of dust and
6un and jolting wheels, Isabel ■- pretty fore
head wis corrugated with a rather unbecom
ing frown.and her red hps were slightly ele
vated, while Minnie leaned out of the win
dow, trying to be patient, but finding it very
hard work,p;>or little thing !
"I wonder if wo are almost there/' she
said, at length, with a soft, weary laugh.
"Not within half a doz.m miles," answered
l abel, pettishly. Why on earth don't they
have some more respectable conveyance than
a lumbering stage coach to carry people to
the Sulphur Springs ?'
"It is not so very bad," sighed Minnie,
meekly ; 'that is it would not be if the weath
or was not quite so warm, and the dust was
n >t so intolerably thick "
"No, of course not," returned Isabel, iron
ically. "But you alwas were a poor, little,
mean-spirited creature, Minnie, perpetually
trying to make the best of everything. Dear
me ! what are wc stopping here for ? Good
gracious ! if they are going to squeeze in any
m >re p-ssengers I shall certainly faint away.
Regardless, however,of Miss T'a despairing
connteuanee. the driver ruthlessly opened
the door, and their party was augmented by
a tall, lather pleasant looking gentleman,
fallowed by a trim English nurse, carrying a
rosy little babe, with a nest of lace atouud
its head, and long, sweeping skirts of white
cambric, loaded with duiuty embroidery,
The woman looked around hesitatingly.
Isabel gave her tiounced draperies an extra
106S over the cushions, and applied her cul
glass vinaigrette to her nostrils, without
seeming to notice the intruder. Minnie,
however, whispering "Move, Isabel, there is
more room on this seat," compressed herself
to a small a space as possible, and beckoned
to the nurse to take the place thus vacated.
• "Minnie, how can you be so absurd'?"
said Isabel, petulantly. "See how you are
crushing my dress ! O, dear me, if that child
isn't beginning to cry ! I bate babies !"
Old Mr. Thome straightened himself into
a sitting posture, and rubbed his heavy
eyes, as the feeble wail of the little one fell
on his ear.
"What's the matter, Bell ? he asked, sleep -
ily.
"The matter? Why, across baby, to be
sure. A pleasant ride we shall have to
Rockdale, with that squalling in our ears the
whole time. Ido think babies ought to be
left at home."
"Bell," remonstrated Minnie, blushing to
the verv tips of her ears with mortification.
But Isabel merely tossed her bead without
looking around, too ill-humored even to no
tice the soft pleader at her side. And still
the incorrigible baby, after the fashion of all
babies, kept up its precious wail, iu spite of
the attempts of the nurse to soothe it and
attention. The woman looked in
divert ii— • , man'e brow flushed with
despair—the gen*.,
annoyance.
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jeffersou.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 1864.
"Let vie take it," said Minnie, softly—
"l think I can quiet the little thing."
"I am afraid it will annoy you," said the
gentleman opposite. "I am sorry—"
"Oh, no, not a bit," said Minbie. "I am
very fond of babies. Do give it to me, nurse!'
It was strange how soon that baby discov
ered that it was in loving hands. Gradually
the little wrinkled forhead smoothed out
like white wax—slowly the tears ceased, and
the scarlet lip stopped its quivering, as Min
nie laid off the smothering cap which all
nurses seem to consider a necessary ingredi.
ent for the suffocation of infants, and smcoth
ed the silky hair, and whispered, coaxingly,
"baby talk" in the little pink ears.
"Bless me. Miss, I do believe you have
got a spell about you !" ejaculated nurse, as
the little creature's dimples broke out into a
smile, which revealed six infinitesimal teetb.
Yes, Minnie had a spell ; but it was only
a spell of sweet good humor and sunny tem
per.
"I wonder who has arrived this season,"
said Isabel, as she arranged her rich brown
masses of hair before the mirror in her
room at the principal hotel of Rockdale
Springs. "They tell me every room is crowd
ed. Laura Todd wrote me word that Cel.
Tremaine was to be here, and ho alone is
sufficient to bring plenty of belles to the
place."
"Who is Col. Tretnaidt 7" asked Minnie
who was patiently helping Isabel to braid
the long, shining tresses.
"Why, the wealthy widower who owns
that superb place at Rivermont ; don't you
remember bearing of him ? My dear, your
memory is getting defective."
u O ! now I recollect," said Minnie. "But
I should never have thought of him again."
"Just like you ! Minnie Thorne, PU-wa
ger anything you'll marry a nobody yet!"
"Very likely," returned Minnie, with a
laugh. "Wealthy widowers do not trouble
themselves about insignificant little mites
'ike me. You may win the golden prize.
Bell, if you choose to try."
"I certainly do my best 7" said Isa
bel, glancing at the mirror with a throb of
conscious pride.
Truly the face reflected might give pleas
ure to the most fastidious, with its golden
brown braids, and velvety black eyes, con
trasted so royally with her peach-blossom
cheeks, and lips liko the scarlet heart of
pomegranate. While Minnie's blue eyes and
stnilirg mouth had hut the charm of truth
and frankness to set off their delicate cut
lines.
"f say. girls, what do you think," ex.
claimed Mr. Thorne, thrusting his bald head
into the room, as hit? daughters were prepar
ing to descend to the dinner table. "Col.
Tremaine is here, and is none other than the
tall gentleman who came down in the stage
coach with us 7"
"Not the gentleman with the nurse and
baby 7"
"Yes."
"Nonsense, Papa, some one has been gross
ly deceiving you," said Isabel. "Col. Tre
maine, who owns the finest horses and car
riages in the country, would never dream of
traveling in a rusty old stage coach "
"Not under ordinary circumstances, per
haps," returned hc-r father ; "but I was just
introduced to the Colonel himself, and in the
course of conversation he mentioned that his
carriage breaking down, compelled him to
inconvenience the passengers in our coach
with his presence. And/ie expressed, in ve
ry warm terms his gratitude to my daughter
for her kindness to his motherless infant—
what do you think of that. M'nnie ?"
It would be hard to tell which blushed
deepest, Minnie or Isabel—but the rosy col
ors were called to their cheeks by widely
different emotions.
The long bright summer days crept on,
with skies of blue, quivering light, and sun
sets of fire and carandine ! Newport and
Saratoga, Lake George and the Cats kills
succeeded each other on the travelling pro
gramme of the Thorncs, and greatly to the
annoyance of the reiguing belles in general,
Col, Tremaine acci mpanied the party.
It was a lovel}' morning in October, when
Minnie Thorne catne into Isabel's room in the
hotel at Niagara Falls. She had been wan
dering through the leafy wilderness of Goat
Island, hut that was not sufficient reason for
the deep color that suffused her cheek, nor
was the moisture upon the eyelashes alto
gether the spray of Niagara.
"Isabel," she whispered, laying her head
upon her sister's shoulder, "I am very, very
happy. Col. Tremaine has asked me to be
come his wife !"
Isabel was naturally good-hearted, and
she smothered the pangs of her own keen
disappointment with an effort, as sbo folded
Minnie in her arms.
" lam glad of it, Minnie ; you will make
him an excellent little wife. But to think
of his choosing a homespun body like you."
The real clue to this matrimonial mystery
was not discovered until one day, not long
after the wedding, when Mrs. Tromaine was
bending carelessly over her step daughter,
murmuring the melody of a sweet cradle
song. Suddenly a hand was laid on her
shoulder. She started and smiled to meet
the tender light of her husband's eyes.
"Siog on, darling," he said fondly. "I
like to see you with Bessie on your lap.—
You were sittingju6t in that attitude with
that same smile on your face, the day I fell
in love with you.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Don't you remember a warm day in Au
gust, in a crowded atage coach, with a baby
that would cry, and a blue-eyed little maiden
who soothed the child and tended it, even
though her haughty sister declared ( she ha
ted babies V I felt a sort of intuition that
the blue-eyed lassie would make a tender
mother to the little orphaned* one, and then
and there I lost my heart. Dearest I have
never regretted my loss !"
Isabel, sitting in the next room, heard ev
ery word of this little conversation, and she
could not help think dig how light had been
the words and glaoces that had decided the
destiDy of her sister's life and her own-
If you throw a stone into the glassy bo
som of the stillest lake, the circling ripples
widen, with constantly increasing sphere,
long after the stone is forgotten. And even
so it is with every word and deed of our
lives.
"To Whom It May Concern."
[From the New York Tribune. Nov. 10.]
Give us but the Union with universal'free
dom, and we will do whatever we can to se
cure the moat liberal—nay, even generous—
termer to the insurgents on every other point
And if the Democratic party of the free
States will do their utmost to secure an ear
ly peace on these terms (and we are sure they
may, if they will, not only make further
bloodshed on the part of the confederate
madness, but convince thtm that it is so,)
we are prepared to give them a quit claim
to the possession of the government for \he
twenty years following the close of Mr. Litir
coin's second term.
There now you "copperheads," "sympathi
zers," "secessionists," you have been threat
ened with execution at the lamp-posts—who
have been proscribed, insulted', vilified and
abused by "loyal leaguers," walk up and
take position in line. Don't hesitate when
you see the old sinners peuitent upon their
kn4e£, fogging you fof aid. Lincoln savV,
cow, that you are not disloyal; Forney barks
it too; came gentlemen, t hey have got the
elephant, and if you will only bolt him, nig
ger and all, Greeley promises you, a "quit
claim to the possession of the government
for the twenty yeaYs following." Only think
of the bounty. Don '/ you see it 7 Ilurry
up, before they wear big holes in the knees
of their shoddies.
THE MOTHER. —Despise thy mothe
when she is old. Age may wear and waste a
mother's beauty, atrengih, limbs, senses, and
estate ; but her relation as mother is as the
sun when he goes forth in his might, for it is
always in the meridian, and knoweth no ev.
ening. The person may be gray-headed, but*
her motherly relation is ever in Its flourish
It may be autumn, yea, winter, with a wo
man, but with a mother it ia always spring
Alas ! how little do we appreciate a mother's
tenderness while living ! How heedless are
we in youth of all her anxieties and kind
ness ! But when she is dead and gone—when
the cares and coldness of the world come
withering to our hearts—when we experience
how hard it is to find true sympathy—how
few love us for ourselves—how few will be
friend us in misfortune !—then it is that we
think of the mother we have lost.
EST During a recent raid in Missouri a
young man was seized by guerrillas and com
pelled to drink whisky untill he was stupidly
intoxicated. Before he could get sober, an
other gang seized him and treated him in tbe
same manner, and after that another party, s
that for the period of four days he was kept
dead drunk the greater portion of the time
He relates his experience now with a grea l
deal of sober earnestness.
We know several young men in these dig
gings, that would like to be victimized in this
manner, every day. ED.
HIGH PRICES ll* WASHINGTON— Artemus
Ward says he went to Washington and put
up at a leading hotel, where seeing the land
lord, he accosted him with—
" How d'ye do, squire 7"
" Fifiy cents, sir," was his reply.
Sir!"
" Half a dollar. We charge twenty -five
cents for lookln' at the landlord, and fifty
cents for speakin' to him. If you want sup
per, a boy will show you to the diningroom
for twenty five cents. Your room beta' in
the tenth story, It will cost you a dollar to b e
shown up there."
" How much do you ax a man for breathin'
in this equinomikal tavern 7" said I.
" Ten cents a breath," was his reply.
—
ESC Mr. Jenkins was dining at a very
frugal table, and a piece of bacon near him
was so very small, that tbe lady of the hou6®
remarked to him: "Ptay, Mr. Jenxins, help
yourself to the baoon. Don't be afr aid of it.
"No, indeed, madam—l'vs seen a piece twice
as large, and it did not scare me a bit."
HOW HE CAME TO BE MARRIED.
It may be funny, but I've doae it. I've
got a rib and a baby. Shadows departed—
oyster stews, brandy cocktails, cigar boxes,
boot jacks, absconding shirt buttons, whist
and demijon. Shadows present—hoop skirts
hand boxes, ribbons, garters, long stockings,
juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, little willow
chairs, cradles, bios, pap,6ugar teats, paregor
ic, hive syrup, castor oil, Godfrey's cordial,
soothing syrup, rhubarb, sena, salts, squills,
and doctor's bills. Shadows future—more
pound babies, more hive syrup, etc., etc. I'll
just tell you how I got caught; I was almost
the darudest, most tea custard bashful fellow
you ever did see, it was kinder iirmy line to
be taken with the shakes every time I saw a
pretty gal approaching me, and I'd cross the
street any time rather than face one ; twasn't
because 1 didn't like the critters, for if I was
behind the fence,looking through a knot hole,
I couldn't look at one long enough. Well,my
sister Lib gave & party one night, and I stay
ed away from home because I was to bashful
to face the music. I hung around the house
whistling "Old Dan Tucker," dancing to keep
my feet warm, watching the heads bobbing
up aud down behind the window curtains,and
wishing the thundering party would break
up so I could get to my room. I smoked up
a bunch of cigars, and as it was getting late
and mighty uncomfortable, I concluded to
shin up the door post. No sooner said than
done, and 1 soon put myself 6nug in bed.
"Now," says I, "let her rip! Dance till
your wind gives out !" And cuddling under
the quilts, Morpheus grabbed me.
I was dreaming of soft shell crabs and stew
ed tripe, and was having a good time, when
somebody knocked at the door and woke me
up. "Rap" again. I* laid low. "Rap, rap,
rap !" Then I heard a whispering, and 1
knew there was a whole raft of gals outside.
"Rap. rap !" Then Lib sings out.
"Jack, are you iu there ?"
"Yes," says I'.
Then came a roar of laughter,
"Let us in." says she.
"I won't," says I,"can't you let a fellow
alone 7"
"Are you a-bed 7" says she.
"I am," saysX
"Get up," says she.
"I won't," 6ays I:
Then came another laugh.
By thunder ! I began to get riled.
"Get out, you peiticoated scarecrows !" I
cried : "can't you get a beau without hauling
a fellow out of bed 7 I won't go home with
you—l won't—so you may clear out 7"
And, throwing a boot at the door, I felt
better. But presently oh ! mortal buttons!
I heard a still, 6mall voice, very much like
sister Lib's and it said :
"Jack, you'll have to get up for all the
girl's things are there !"
Oh, Lord, what a pickle ! Think of me in
bed, all covered with shawls, muffs, bonnets
ana cloaks, and twenty girls outside the door
waiting to get in ! If I had stopped to think
I should have pancaked on the spot. As t't
was, I rolled out among the bonnet ware and
nbbons in a hurry. Smash ! went tne milin
ery in every direction. I had to dress in the
dark—for there was a crack in the door, and
the girls will peep—and the way I fumbled
about was death on straw hats. The critical
moment came. I opened the door, and found
myself right among the women.
"Oh, my Leghorn 7" cries one. "My dear
darling, winter velvet !" cries another, and
they pitched in—they pulled me this way and
that, boxed my ears ; and one bright eyed
little piece—Sal her name was—put
her arms right around my neck, and kissed
me right on my lips. Human nature couldn't
stand that, and I gave her as good as she
sent. It was the first time I ever got a taste
and it was powerful good. I believe I could
have kissed that gal from Julius Caesar to the
Fourth of July.
"Jack," said she, "we are sorry to disturb
you, but won't you 6ee me home 7"
"Yes," said I, "I will."
I did do it, and had another smack at the
gate, too. After that we took a kinder turtle
doving after each other, both of us sighing
like a barrel of new cider, when we were
away from each other. 'Twas at the close of
a glorious summer day—the sun was setting
behind a distant hen roost—the bull frogs
were commencing their evening songs—the
polly wogs, in their native mud puddles,were
preparing themselves for the shades of night
—aud Sal and myself sat upon an antiquated
backlog listening to the music of nature, such
as treetoads, roosters and grunting pigs, and
now and then the mellow music of a distant
jackass was wafted to our ears by the gentle
zephyrs that sighed among the mullen stalks
and came heavy laden with the delicious odor
of hen roosts and pig 6tyes. The last linger
ing rays of the setting sun, glancing from the
buttons of a solitary horseman,shone through
a knothole in a hog pen full in Sal's face, dy
ing her hair an orange peel hue, and showing
off my thredb&re coat to bad advantage—one
of my arms was around Sal's waist, my hand
resting on the small of her back —she was
toying with my auburn locks of jet black hue
—she was almost gone and I was ditto. She
looked like a grasshopper dying with the hie
cups,and I felt liko a mud-turtle ch 'ked with
a cod-fish ball.
V .
TBZtMS: 02.00 AWy|Tl^c
- - • - •• --
"Sal," says I, in a voice as musioal as tike
notes of a dying swain, "will you have the?"'
She turned her eyea heavenward, clasped
me by the hand, bad an attack of tfcfe Mtfvef
and blind staggers, and with a sigh' thjfl? (!KSf
her shoe-strings to her padate, said "Yes !"
She gave clear out, then, and squatted in
my lap. she corkscrewed and curflnmhfafy
and rolled in. I hugged her till broke iny
suspenders, and her breath smelt of onions
she eat two weeks before.
Well, to make a long story short, she set
the day, and we practiced for fbur weeks
every night how we would walk intd the
room to be married, till we got so we would
walk as graceful as a couple of Muscovy dupka
The night the company and the minister
came, the signal was given, and arm in arm
we marched thro' the crowded hall, we, were
just entering the parlor door, when down I
went kerslap on the oil-clotb, pulling Saljvf*
ter me. Some cussed fellow had
banana skin on the floor, and it floored me.
It split an awful hole in my eaasimers
right under my dresscoat tail. It was. too
late to back out, so clapping my hand oyer
it, we marched in andwere spliced, and tak
ing a seat I watched the kissing the bride
operation. My groomsman was
he kissed her till I jumped up to take a ajioe,
when, oh, horror, a little six year old imp
had crawled behind me, and palling my
shirt through the hole in my pants, hitif pann
ed it to the chair, and in jumping up I dig
played to the admiring gaze of the astonished
multitude, a trifle more white muslin, than
was pleasant. The Womea giggled, the
roared and I got mad, but was finally put to
bed, and there alt my troubles ended. Good
night. V • • 4
The Lady's Repentance.
In the life of Dr. Raffles, just published
the following story is told in connexion With
a preaching journey in 1814":—"On our way
rom Wem to Ilawkestono we passed % house
of which Mr. Lee told me the follpwin^ oc
curence : -A young lady, the daughter of
the owner of the , house, was addressed
by a man who, though' agrceabfe %
was disliked by her father. Of coursi
he would not consent to their union, and sho
determined to elope. The nightwarftxed
the hour came, he placed the ladder *e the
window, and, in a few minutes, sb SNLS in
his arms. Tbey mounted a double horse,
and were Boon at some distance lows the
house. After a while the lady broke silence'
by saying, "Well, you sec what a proof I have
given you of my affectron: I hope'yoa will
make me a good husband." He wnswaurly
fellow, and gruffly answered. "Purbapa I
may and perhaps not.' She made htm-no re
ply, but, after a silence of a few inmates, she
suddenly exclaimed, "O, what vbgU we do ?
I have left my money behind ma is my room.
"Then," said he, "we most go back abd ;
fetch'it." They were seen again it the
house, the ladder was again placed, the lady"
remounted, while the ill-natured lover wait
ed below. But she dolayed to eome, and BO"'
he gently called, "Are you coining when '
she looked out of the window, and said,
"Perhaps I may, and perhaps no4j* then
shut-down the window, and let him to return
upon the double horse alone. Was not that
a'happy thought on the lady's part-~a fla*
mows joke 1"
tl , ■ ri'i
_ tfjj
JG2E" lotnmy, my son, what are jou. going
to do with that club ?"
"Send it to the editor of course,"^ ■%
"Bui what are you going to.sebd it to tbw
editor for ?"
"lie says if anybody will send'htm * club
he'll send them a copy of his paper.**
The mother came pretty near fainting, but
retained consciousness enough to ask-*
"But, Tommy dear, what do you suppose
he wants of a club?"
"Well, I don't know, replied the hopeful
urchin, unless it is to knock down lubscrib
era as don't pay for their paper.'*'
. . .
" Where are you going ?" said a
young gentleman to an elderly on tn a white
cravat, whom he overtook a few miles from
Little Rock.
'*l am going to Heaven, my sen ;. I have
been on the way eighteen years."
"Well good bye, old fellow; if you have
been travelling toward Heaven fes-eighteen
years and got no nearer it than Arkansas,
I'll take another route."
RABBI JOSHUA once met a boy whactrried
something in a covered vessel. "My boy,"
said the Rabbi, "what have yon iu your cov
ered vessel?" "If it was intended for you to
know," replied the boy, "it would not bo
covered."
. imn y
ATREMUS WARD 6ays; "If lam drafted I
will resign. Deeply grateful fcv unex
pected honor thus conferred upotfMt, I shall
feel compelled to resign, the position iu
of som.e more worthy person. Mtalesty is
wh,bt ails me That's what keeps tae under."
1 ...
' : ■" <• itju J
1 Oil of lemon and oil of Mrpmliiei.irij com
> posed of the same elements ip thelam&
portions; an atom,qf 4 either f Y
1 the combination of five aW>tDA<af -Ji a
1 four of hydrogen. an .
VOL. 4 NO. 18