X* AIiVBY SlCKLER^Proprietor.]
law .KtflUlo l s'flarowr*! '■(, *" ,-.j. -J .
- NEW SERIES,
A weekly Democratic
BY HARVEY SICKLER.
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) 52.09. I
Hot pain within six months, 62.b0 will be charged
A3DVEHLTISIKTO.
lOJines or f )
lets, mike three four J txo Uhree six • ons
one square weeks'weeks mr) , th\mo , th)mo'th\ year
1 Square I,OJ IVI 2,'25. 2,87j 3,00: 5,0
2 do. 20 0 2.(50 3.251 3.50 4,50 C.O
3 do. i.n-r 3,7*1 4.755 5,50 7,00- 9.0
4 Column. 4.00 4,505 &.SUJ 8,001 IO.OOj 15,0
do. 600 7,00! 10,005 12.00 17.00 25,0
do. 8.00 9,*o> 14,00! 18,001 23,00t 35,0
• 1 do. 10,00! t'2, 00: 17,00) 22,00 '29,00' 10,0
t lluaincss Curds of one square, with paper, S3
JOB wonK
of all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to
the time!.
fhtsiißS*
R~~~ H. At , W,TiITTI.E ATTORNEY'S A
LAW, Offiee on Tioga street, Tunkhanno
P.
l li. jC 1 \ Kc' KBR .
' "PHYSICIAN A'dSPtGEOX,
Would respectfully announce to the citizensof Wy
the has loca'ee * Tvinkhannock who
will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
profession.
Will bo found at home on bafurJays 0
wee
Ha. COOPER, PHYSICIAN A SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
WM. M. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of
fice iu Stark's Brick Block, Tioga St., Tuak
bauaeek, Pa.
WALL'S HOTEL,
J.ATS AMERICAN HOUSE,
TUNKHANXOUK, WYOMING CO., PA.
TlirS citabllrhment lifts recently been refitted nn
furnished in the latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
w ID patronize the House.
T. B. WAT.L, Owner and Proprietor ;
Tnnkhannack, September 11, 1861.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MF.SHOI'PEN, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
Wm. 11. LOIITRIGIIT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed the proprietorship of the a!n>e
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
render the house nn agreeable place of sojourn for
all who may favor it with their custom.
U'u. 11 CCRTRIHIIT.
Jeoe, 3rd, 1563
■■■ ;..ji i_. „.< v •l-nwi" ■ f
ftas Dotfl,
'V *• L. > ? 7 4
TOWANDA, PA.
D. B. BART LET,
(Late of the BBRAIXARD Horss, ELMIRA, X. Y.
PROPRIETOR.
The MEANS HOTEL, i one of the LARGEST
and BKST ARR ANGED House? in the country—lt
is fitted up in the most modem and improved style,
and no pains are spared to uiake it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for nil,
v 3, n2l, ly.
M. GILMAN,
DENTIST. |
A T GILMAN, has permanently loco'eJ in Tunk
lVl. hannock Bomngb, and respectfully tenders his
profssio*al services to the citizens of this place and
nrronuding count rv.
ALL WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATIS
FACTION.
VfTOffice over Tutton's Law Office, near th e Pos
Office. ~. ,
DhH,Wf4. f nff
* illj t W9 R ■S> li. fc Jr * * r fa
USE NO OTMER ! BUCUAN'S SPECIFIC
PILLS are the oqly Reliable Eemedy Tor all
Disrate? of the Pemioal, Urinary and Nervous Sys
ems. Try one box, and be cured. ONE DOLLAR
A BOE. One box will perfect a cure, or money re
tß&ea. Sent by mi' on receipt of price.
JAMES 3. BUTLER.
, Station I). Dible Pouse ,
Now York,
General Agent
x3-a3l-3n M. ACo
miOMLEniM AGUGY.
CONDUCTED BY
HAUVY ANi> COI.I,INS,
_ i D, C\ .
Jn crier to faciliate the prompt ad
udtmeft ifttesatjy arrears mf .pay, Pension* and
-"M, other persons from
tihoGovcrnment of the United States. ahe urxier
g wed hn node arrangements with the fUova firm
house experience and close proximity to, and daily
n ereourso with the department; as well as the ear
reknowladg®, acquired oy them, of thf
ayqucntly being ihnde,' enaW*lt|em = prosebute
taims more efficiantly than Attorneys at a distance,
inpos?i,yj do elaeass of she
V'JFT'" 11 - c ' ltl ** rc T cr^-l'
aluobbyling on me and entrusting them to my care
HARVEY SICKLER,
Agt. far Harvy A Collins,
khannogk,?*. . r
~*i *ry ; V- nC*' -' f*C - !
cured of Nervous Debility. In
artiih> hi' le,?atureI e, ? ature Decay and Youthful Error j
do furnish
£Sdi&tS-k (f'~f h
used in his case iL* - T[u I
possess a \aluable Remodi
by return mail tcrfnii ' . 1 roteive the came,
oy reiurn mall, (earefntly sealed,) by addressing
Ibvfiuw JO,INE • OGDEN
•3 -nlO-Sawi , York
| LINES.
(Original,)
Br KATIE.
Do I blush that he's gone ts a far distent land,
Left his loved ones, his friends and his home,
The cenntjjr he loved, the Land of hi* birth ;
Far away amid strangers to roain 1
What, blush as X clasp his dear little one 8 close,
And press back the fast fall ing tear,
Thar his arm is not raised mid carnage and strife
Hath made no home desolate and drear I
That no Mother to-night in th 6 fair " sunny South"
As in anguish, the mourns lor the slain,
Will gaze on her Orphan babes —Fatherless now,
And shudder while murmuring his naine.
That no Brother laid low on the cold battle field,
His fond heart now puislessnnd still,
Will have feit that 'twas his hand that directed the
i , ..
As o'er him crept Death, stern and ahill ?
Do X blu?h ? can you ask, that \is arm is not raised
That Afric's dark son's may be free
And white men enslaved ; blu-h T^GodJorhid!
Xor forget 'tis the land of the Free.
A Tyrant hath deluged our beautiful Lan 1
In the blood of the noble and brave ;
Land of our Washington—Land of our sires, •* * |
He hath made you cue vast mighty Grave.
Yet we know ho shall pau j e, for soon the glad cry. 1
That no freeman can e're be a slave,
Will ring from brave hearts, with arras lifted on high
(Jar homes anl our Country to save.
May God spoed them, with hearts true as steel,
Liks that Patriot band of yore,
Their trust in Him, He will list to their prayer,
And Peace shall smile on us onec more.
Hclcct
Til U MAN WHO STRL'CK 111 M
SILF, *
BY T. S. ARTHUR.
Jason KMer belonged to that rather laige
class of persons who find pleasure in the suf
fering or misfortune of their fellow men.—
This is stating the case rather broadly, and
we do not, in the least, doubt that Jason,
should he ever chance to discover this intro
duction of himself to the public, will reject
our classification, so far as he is concerned
We make it understanding!*', however. The
fault we hare indicated is usually the com
panion of another. The man who feels
pleasure tn the ill-fortune of his neighbor
will hardly hesitate to inflict an injury, if it
can be done with tmphnity.
Men of the class to whom Jason E'der be
longed rarely piftod far o ntheir life journey
without misunderstanding with some of their
fel'ow passengers, Of course they are al
wf.j-s in the right, arid their fellow passen
gers in the wrong. And as they are the in
jured and the oppressed, it Is the most natu
ral to retaliate—giving blow for blow.
' The man who wrongs me I neither for
give nor forget." This was 0110 of Jason El
dar'n sayings, and a very bad saying, we can*
not help declaring it to be particularly so in
Jason's case lor he quietly lived up to his
principles. Of course judgment as to wrong
was always rendered bjr himself, and on ev*
idence wholly experte. If he believed that
another meant to .do him wronsr—and he
could beheve, sometimes, on very slight ev
idence—an evil pu-poso was as quickly born
in bis mind as if positive testimony were
before his eyes*
In fact, Jason Elder was a very bad sort
of a man,, and often very troublesome to
those who had any dealings with him.
Among those who were favored with the
heariy dislike of Elder was a master mechan
ic in a small way, named Martin Lee, who,
by industry and economy, had accumulated
enough to bur himself a house of moderate
si ze, as a home for his family. Elder also
owned a house in the same neighborhood.—
These houses were built on a pieoe of ground
tliat originally belonged to the samo estate.
Mr. Lee WAS a very upright raao—too up
right and independent to have much inter
course with a man like Elder, and mortally
offended him. lie had so offended him and
the offence was neither forgotten nor forgiv
en. In uiore than one instance his enemy
had sought to do him injury; but the pois
ened arrows, flung from his bow, had flown
harmlessly by him.
One day, while in conversation with one
of those idle, gossiping individuals, who give
more attention to other people'* business
than they do to their own, the latter sai d
in responding to (some ill naturod remark
uttered against Mi.Lee. "I learned a fact yel
terday that may be you would like to bear."
"AbfluLthat Lee ?" eagerly inquired El
der. i ' t ■ b
"Yes, or I might better say about the
ground on which he has built that anug little
house."
"Indeed ?' our gentleman was all aliye
now and commenced rubbing hia bands in
delighted expectation. "What about the
grounds ?"
"Little defective," was the laconic answer.
"No!"
"Fact. Ilidithom old I.xrtina; and I
"TO PEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S SlGHT."—Themas Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, NOV. 23 1864.
rather think he ought to know something
about it."
"Well, that U news ! Got a bad title, eh?
I wonder who's on the bip now, Mr. Martin
Lee?"
"Won't I, indeed ; wait and see. If Ido
not deal him a staggering blow, my name is
not Jason llder—tbat'e all. I always said
I'd bide my time. Hi IHa ! A flaw in
his title. But that's just his way of doing
business. I'd like to see any one pick a flaw
in mine."
I True to the evil purpose declared, Elder
took the first oppci tunity to search out the
party to whom the property owned by Lee
would revert, in case a defect really did ex
ist in his title, and communicated the fact
alleged. This individual whose name was
Earl, seemed at first incredulous ; but when
Larkin was mentioned as authority, seemed
to feel quite an interest in the matter.
"1 am really indebted to you," he said,
with a bland smile ; "should it prove true
that there is a defect I shall have quite a
windfall; and it could not have reached tne
in a better time. I will have the matter in
vestigated at ones."
"That blow will tell hard, surely I have
planted it below the fifth rib," said Elder to
himself, in a tooe of cruellexultation, as he
left the presence of Mr. Earl.
Through much self-denial and hard labor,
continued through many years, had Mr. Lee
been able to provide a modest homestead for
hi family. He had been the more anxious
to accomplish this from the fact that declin
ing health warned him of the approach of a
day when his beloued ones who leaned on
hrm so confiidingly would have none to care
for them. If he could secure a home, into
which they might cluster together, he felt
that tnnch would be gained. And this he had
accomplished ; but the effjrt cost too dearly
H* had taxed his physical system to an ex
tent that produced a serious reaction
and,though he secured a dwelling for bis fami
ly, he permanently weakened his constitu
tion.
One day, in making a sudden effort, he
ruptured a blood vessel, and was taken home
in a dangerous condition. This was the very
day that Jason Elder made the unfortunate
discovery of a defect in the title of his proper
Little dreamed he, as with death knock
ing at the door, he found consolation in the
thought that his family, even if he were taken
from them, would not be left without a home;
that at the very time there was a movement
to deprive him of their little patrimony
And well for him was it.that the veil of igtio*
ranee wa6 before his eyes; fc r, had he known
of the threatened danger the knowledge
would surely have Co9t him his life.
On the day following, a gentleman called
at the house of Mr. Lee, to notify him that
ptoceedings were about being instituted for
the purpose of testing the validity of his ti
tle : but learning that he was dangerously ill,
he went away without leaving any word as to
tne purpose of his business.
In the meantime. Elder, who bad not
heard of Mr. Lee's illnes, wai awaiting
with some interest, to see the ultimate rftect
of the blow he bad stuck. There were tiinea
whenjn a measnra ha repented of what he
had done. But the repentence was not very
deep, and his ill will towards Mr. Lee soon
obliterated all trscea thereof. On the third
day, Elder fecieved a brief note from Mr.
Earl, desiring him to sail at his office, as
he wished to see him on particular busi
ness.
There was something in this note that aff
ected Mr. Elder unpleasantly. What it was,
however, he could not discover, although he
read it over and over again, at least halt a
dozen times.
" I wonder what he wants with me ?" he
said uneasily, as he started off to obey the
summons.
" Ab, Mr. Elder, I'm glad to see you."—
Mr. Earl smiled, and be offered hie hand
But there was something wrong in the smile,
nnd no heart whatever in the pressure of
his hand,
44 I've been investigating the matter that
you brought to mr notice," said Mr. Earl,
and his countenance assumed a very grave as
pect.
44 Ah, have you ? Well, sir, did you not
find it as I said V
< 4 There Ts flaw, certainly, and a very sen
ous one."
" I was aqre of it from what Larkin said.
He's never at fault in matters of this kind*"
44 You aimed a heavy blow at Mr- Lee, my
friend," said Mr, Earl. There was a quick
change in his manner, followed by a pause.—
Then he added:
"But it passed him unharmed, and stfugk
another." •_
"Who*
" Youreelf I"
"Me! Ido qot understand you, Ear!!"
The countenance of Jason Elder had becotna
suddenly overspread with alarm. •
" Mr. Lee's title is perfectly good."
" It is?"
" Yes But—yuan Is defective !"
41 Impossible!" exclaimed Elder, turoing
pale. *3EB
41 Not at all. Mr. Larkin is rarely at fault
in matters of this kind. He knew there was
a fistr somewhere in the title of she property
that once belonged to my uncle's estate, but
erred in this instance. Loe is safe, but you
title is not worth a copper." I a*n much o'-
kliged to you for hunting up the windfall for
me—l should hardly have come across it
myself; and in consideration thereof, will
deal with you as leniently as possible. Of
course. I do not expect you to take my word
in regard to the flaw. Its existence, how
ever, will soon be demonstrated. You had
better see and ask him to call on
me. In the meantime. I will say that foi
various reasons lam ready to compromise.
I don't wish to encounter the vexations, de
lays and expenses of legal proceedings ; and
therefore, if you are disposed to meet me am
icably, I will execute a quit claim to the
property. The sum is five hundred dollars."
Elder groaned aloud.
" If my claim'on the property is good, and
I know it to be, readraed Earl, I can recover
three times that sum. If you compromise I
wiil act in a spirit of great moderation, but if
you compel me to relort to law, I will take
all the law awards."
Poor Jason Elder! The blow was a hea
ay one and staggered him. A careful exam
ination by his lawyer only proved the asser
tion of Mr. Earl. Ilis title to the property
waa not worth a dollar. G4ad enough was he
to accept the proffered compromise, though
at the clear loss of $5OO.
Well for Mr. Lee was it, that the blow
aimed with such bitter malignity did not
execute the will of him by whom it was giv
en. The consequences weuld, to all human
foresight, proved fatal. Not until he was
sufficiently recovered from his dangerous iIU
neßs to be out again, did he learn the evil,
that had been meditated, and how it had ro
coiled upon the head of his onemy.
Ilis pointed answer was :
■' lie d gged a pit for another, and himself
fell into it."
The declaration of Elder, made to more
than one, that ha had struck Mr. Lee a hea
vy blow, was remembered in connection with
his serious IO6S from a defect in his titlej and
for a long time afterwards he was spoken of
familiarly among those who kuew him as the
4 man who struck himself."
A broad illustration of what is taking'plac®
daily, in hundreds of instances round us.—
The evil that is meditated against other us
ually comes back in some form, upon those
who seek to do their neighbors a wrong. In
this matter thare is a law of compensation
which acta with unerring certainly. The
blow that ia struck In malice at another, may
not seetn to rebound. But, as surely as it is
given, will its power to do barm remain un
spent, until tbt circle of consequence is com
pleted.
THREE IMPORTANT THINGS —Three things
to hare ; courage, gentleness, and affection.
Three things to admire ; intellectual power'
dignity and gracefulness. Three things to
hato; cruelty, arrogance, and ingratitude'
Three things to delight in ; beauty, frank
ness and freedom. Throe things to wish
for; health, friends and a cheerful spirit.—
Three things to pray for; faith, peace and
purity of heart. Three things to like : cor
diality, good humor and mirthfuloesa.—
Three things to avoid; idleness, loquacity
and flippant jesting. Three to culli
vate ; good books, good friends and good
temper. Three thing# to contend for ; hon
or, country and friends. Three things to
govern; temper, impulse and tongue •
Cs* A pious old gentleman, one of the
salt of the earth sort, went out into the field
to catch bis mare. He shook a measure of
corn at her to delude, her into the belief
that ahe was to get it, but she was not to
be deceived by any specious act. She would
come nigh and then off again, until the good
man was fretted. At last he got her into a
corner among aomo briars and made a clash
at ber, when she bounded over the wall and
left him sprawling among the boshes- His
christian fortitude gave way at this and j
gathering himself ,up be cried, "Oh he If.*'
The gaofialion had passed his lips before be
thought, but immediately conscious of its
wickedness, he cried "lelujah !" and trans
lated the profane word into a note 0 tri
umph.
Wife! wife!—our. cow's dead;
chokedookn k "I told you ao. I always
said she'd choke herself with them turnips."-
"But it was pumpkin—" "Wal, it's all the
same. I knowed all along how it would be.
Nobody but a ninny like you would feed a
cow on pumpkins that wasn't chopu "The
pomj}Kius wm chopt. And 'twant the pump
kins neither that choked ber. ,j It w*a the
tray—and the end oi it 14 sticking out of,
her mouth now." "Ugh } Ugh ! There goes
my bread tray ! No longer ago than yoster
terday, I told you that 00w would swallow
that tray !"
JC3T At a recent railroad dinner, to com
plioMQt to the legal fraternity, the toaet was
given :-*> w An honest lawyer, the noblest
work ot God but an old farmer in the baex
part of the hall rather spotted the effect by
adding in a load vote*, " And about the
acarceat."
ARTEMUSON THE DRAFT.
Artemus Ward, Jr., is again before the
publio vetiUting hie ideas on the draft:
A grate many people air getting exempted.
I kno a chap who warnted to git exempt be
cazo he had no old widow mother to support
him. Another youth said if he went to war
bs mother wood have to stop taken in wash
in, as he was the only son he had to main
tain. It's astonishin' wot a skurcity of male
people that ia between 20 and 35 years.
Those wot aren't over 35 are under 20. They
never git past 21, hardly.
I unctjknowd a femail wot waa under 20.
She was splendid. Her name was Mariar,
thort much of her. £raps I tbort mucber of
her prtient's 80 acher farm. But she aws a
swedt girl. She had buttfullest eyes, one
was crosseyed an' the ether squinted. She
ust to look at me 2 ways at ODCt. And such
small feet. Iler gators war small enuff for
me by stuffiing rags into the Tose of 'em
I wou't say anything about her teeth. She
bad no teeth to say enything about.
She was a Hairess. That's wot ailed her.
Her Guvner was a Breckinridger. One nite
he arst ma what I wara. "I'm an At my
Contrackter," sez I, telling a confounded
wopper ; but Mariar was looking at me 3
wrys, and I scarcely nowed wot I was sryin.
"Wall," sez the old man, "ef you are a army
contrackter you must bo Breckinridger, for
they get all the contracts an tne Union men
dus the fightin." "2 troo !" sez I. I maid
Mariar a numerous number of presents. I
bo't her Collars worth of Joolry, consistin'
ova gold watch, a buzzim pin an earrings, an
things—upwards of sevenl of the iarst.
But she was always morelp ptwased when
I took her a bunk of yaller Jack. It wos a
splendid sight to see her eat yaller Jack.
After kortin her aevril weeks, I thort it was
timo to bring things to a climax. I nite I
took her a sooperb big chunk of yaller Jack,
au after ahe put herself outside of it I sez to
myself outside of it I sez to myself, now is
the expected timo. as the Scriptoors remarks.
I had been 2 weeks in lurning sum big works
with which to arsk her to be mine, an I got
down on my knee# be 4 her to say 'em when
sez she
" Gimme another hunk OT that candy,
before yon begin to pray." This nockt all
the wind out OT me Sales as it were an'" I
didn't no wot to say, an cum putty near say -
in it. But I wasn't a going to give up the
ship, so to speak. I squattid side ov her,
took her alabaster hands in mine look into
her eyes an faintly articoolated" Mariar, I lu*
you a good bit vrurs nor nothin. Will you
walk through life's thorny path with me ?''
Me heart kept b bin up and down in me buz
ziin as tho it warnted to break its bonds and
aore away at the Poick sings. But 1 dont
think Mariar understood me flggerative lan
gwage, for sez she, Not a watk. I dont in
tend to travel thro' enny thorny path with
out I kin ride. You're a ole fool, thats what
you ar, and I guess I was, for i left the da m
eel without pressin me soot. As I became
wiser I grow older, and have sence larned
that a girl dont mean all she sez. Not by a
harfa dozzen.
When a femail calls a chap a ole fool,
sire thinks he's a hanky boy. as Bon affick
sits* I pity Mariar. When she found I
didnt cum bac ahe took up with a love ceve
who supported good store Close. She took
him for a gentlmen, but after marryin he
turned out to be a dirty Peas man, which
busted her hart and kilt her ded. Rest qui
eti* peace E- poor busted up Union. I
suppose you dont knew what tbos Latin mens?
1 dont kno, too. The right wing of the rebel
army is in Virginia, and left ie in New
York. An I'm in Washington. As alurs,
A. WA K KD, Ja.
THE MAJESTY or THE LAW Tho other
day a Dutchman in Cincinnati was severely
thrashed by his " vrow" and while smarting
under the infliction, be complained to the
Mayor, and had his bettor half arrested for
the outrage, whereupon she was flued three
dollars and the costs, but she not having the
money, her husband was called upon to fork
over. Upon which hy opened his eyes in
great surprise, exclaimed, Vot for 1 pay ? she
Vip mo 1" The statute was explained "to him
and he paid, but announced that hereafter
bis wife might wollop him as much as she
pleased, bat he would never again take steps
to uphold the "majesty of thalaw."
!,| \ ' ' ■ ' • '
-IF J V. ' ' -■■ 1 '
laisiia;:d SCOTCH LOYALTY —When Gee*
the Fourth went to Ireland, and of the'ipir.
jntry," delighted with his affability, to the
orowd, on learning, said to tbe toll keeper,
as the king passed through, 'OOc r now ! an'
his majesty, God bless him, never paid the
turnpike; how's that?" "Oh! kings never
does;, we lets 'em go free," was the answer.
Then there's dirty money for ye," says Pat;
said that the king came her, and fonnd no
body to pay the turnpike for him." Tom
Moore, on visit to AbboUford, told thi a sto
ry Walter Scott, when they were dom
paring notes fo the two royal Yiaite.—
"Now, Moore" replied Scott, "there ye hate
juat the advanjego of us; there wa a*
#ant of enthusiasm here; the Scotch folk j
would have done anything, in tbe world for
Ma majesty, except pay the turnpike."
riVEZXUMES: 82.00P8R A.XXUM
SENSIBLE MAXIMS —Never taste an atom
when yon are not hungry ; It is suicidal,
NeVer hire servants who go in pairs as sla
ters, cousins or anything else,
Never speak of your father as! tha "old
roan."
Never reply to the epithet of * drunkard,
a fool or a fellow.
Never speak contemptuously of women
kind.
Never abuse one who was onct your bosom
friend, however bitter now.
Never smile at the expense ofyonr religion
or your B.ole,
Never stand at the corner of a streets
Never insult povsrty,
Never eat between meals,
In HEARD FROM —In our last from lira.
Partington, she thus discourses concerning
Ike : Betsy Jane write to you about poor
Isaac bein' grafted into our noble army ; it
was during the late prevailing restriction
I've been so dreadful uneasy-. laws me f
But, Dan'l, at last we're hoard of him by a
neighbor who is home on a furrow. He
poor innocent.' at onc't took hit place, to
neighbor Tibbins says, as First Corpuleat,and
soon proved so deficient that ha was prompt*
ed to be an Ordinary Surgeon— poor child !
But what the blessed dear knows about tak
ing up arterials, computation of lima, and the
like surpasses rae. Howsumever, if he can
be the humble implement in the handa of tha
Lord of saving the lives of the gallus fellows
whose heads have been desserainatod by the
busting open of pontoons and things, why we
must sacrifice him freely on the alter of pleu
risy uniform and may the Lord have mercy
on bis selar system.
—
E3T A gentleman not long since, in onp
of his rides in Southern Illinois, sough; to
make ultcself interesting to a good looking
mother of a sweet baby, occupying the next
seat in the car. After duly praising tho baby
he remarked to the mother "He is a real tuck
er, I suppose." "No, sir," said tha lady
blushing, "we had to raise him on tha bot
tle.' The gentleman resumed his reading
and has not bragged on any strange baby
since,
EMCOCNTER WITH A SHARK —A gentleman
writes from Macao on the 18th of April "I
was witness to an extraordinary sceno in tha
outward harbor on Saturday last. Several
boys from the French Measengeriee Imperial
ship were batbiDg, when a shark was observ
ed making for them. They heard the cries of
tbeirehipmates, and attempted to regain their
vessel, distant half a mile. They would have
been too late but for an officer belonging Co
the celebrated Liverpool clipper, Black Sene
ca. Mr. Lamb, who arming himsolf with a
•heath knife, sprang from the rail and attack
ed the monster in bis own element. The
shark immediately turned upon his antagonist
when occurred a scene more easily immagined
than described. Mr. Lamb dived again and
again, each time coming up beneath the mon
ster, and succeeded in inflicting wounda
The water was| literally dyed with the blood
of the shark. Several boats having been put
off he was dispatched with a harpoon and
hauled ashore on the beach. He proved to
be a blue shark, full j fifteen feet long."
EST "John," inquired a dominie of a
bopelul pupil," what is a nailer 7
"A man who makes nails," replied hopeful,
quite readily.
"Very guod, Now what a tailor 7"
"One who makes tails," was the equally
quick reply.
Oj you blockhead, - ' said the dominie
biting hit lips ;"a man who makes tails I—
did you ever I"
"To be sure," quoth hopeful—"if the tailor
diod't put tails to the coats he made, they
would be all jackets
"Eh ! —ah !-wcli!—to be sure, I didn't
thiuk of that. Beats Watts' logic ! Go to
the head of the class, John —you'll be Presi
dent of tho United Stales some day."
, ■ . .
The friend of a poor fellow who lost his
left leg at Petersburg remarked that,although
mamed, he would always have one good
point of a well drilled soldier—his "left
foot foremost," as it was permanently
planted at the front. "Yea," said a wag, "he
left his left toot at the front; and now h.b|
right foot left."
EST A woman possessed of genim and <
literature, is perhaps unnatural; so also tbe
garden rose,the "queen of flowers," the "flow
er of love" is, by the laws of botany, a mons*
tor, yet a lovely one.
EST ol the urchins in the School
Ship Massachusetts, who was qnite sick, was
visited by a kind lady. The little fellow
was suffering severely, and his visitor asked
him if she could do anything fur him. "Tea,
replied the patient, read to me, will you have
a story 7 ssked the lady. •• No answered the
, boy ; read the Bible; read about Laasrus,"
I and Uie lady complied. The next day tho
visit was repeated, and again the boy asked
the. ady to read to him. Shall I read from
the Bible 7 Oh no ! was 4hp reply. "I'm
; better to day, read mc a lvr ittry !"
4ft-'
VOL. 4 NO. 16