North Branch democrat. (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, March 02, 1864, Image 1

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    The SlndOTrandi Dcnuicral
HARVEY STOXXlaTiSn., Proprietor.]
NEW SERIES,
Alorth Sranrli Semncrah
A weekly Democratio ,
paper,, Jevyted to Pol- f /MjT % „£=
tic?, News, the Arts jffl- i ,
and Sciences Ac. Pub-
fished every VTednes- .j ffffi''""
Aay, at Tunkhannock, t j
'Vyoming County, Pa. V. * A jmj j J' 1
HARVEY SICKLER.
Terms —1 copy 1 year, (in advance) .*1.50. If
not pain within six months, 52.00 will be charged
ADVERTISING.
10/tnesori ,* J ; t i
less, make three ' four two three \ six ; one
one square weeks^irecks ( mo'th mo'th mo'th'year
_ i * l_ s f >
L Square I,oo' 1.25 2,25; 2,*-7 3,00 3.00
2 do. 2,00; 2,30- 3.23 350 4.50 6,00
3 do. 3,00, 3,75; 4,73, 5,50: 7,00; 0,00
i Column. 4,00j 4,50 6.50 8,00 10,0t) 15,00
do. 6.o§t 7,00 10,00; 12.00; 17.t)0525,0U
do. 6,00 9,50 14,00 18,00; 25,00 35,00
1 do. 10,00*12,00 s 17,00 22,0' D! 28,00*40,00
Qusincss Cards of one sonare, with paper, S5.
job wonir
of all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
the times.
business sotirfs.
Bacon stan i>.— Nicholson, i*.. c. l
JACKSON, Proprietor. [vin49tf j
G EO. 8. TUTTON, ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Tunkhannock, i'a. Oflioo in Stark's Biick
Block, Tioga street.
TT7M. M.PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of-
VV fiee y} Stark's Bfick Block, Tioga St., Tunk
hannock, Pa.
RP.& S, IV, MTTI.E ATTORNEYS AT,
LAW, Office on Tioga street, Tunkhannock
Pa.
JV. SMITH, M. D., PIIYSTCIAN A SUROEON,
. Office on Bridge Street, next door to the Demo
crat Office, Tunkhannock, Pa.
HS. COOPER, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
. Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
B. J. c. T3l;cskKß N Co.r
PHYSICIANS SURGEONS,
Would respectfully announce to the citizens of Wy
mingth-.it they have locate lat Tunkhannock wlier
hey will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
neir profession. May he found at his Drug Staro
b not professionally absent.
JM. CAREY, M. I). — (Graduate of the 3
. M. Institute, Cincinnati) would respectfully
announce to the citizens of Wyoming and Luzerne
Counties, that he continues his regular practice in the
various departments 0? his profession. May lie found
at his office or residence, when not professionally ab
ent
"7?f* Particular attention given to the treatment
Chronic Diseas.
entremoreland, Wyoming Co. Pa.—v2n2
WALL'S HOTEL,
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE.
TUNKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
THIS establishment has recently been refitted and
furnished in tbe latest style Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those 1
who patronize the IIone.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor.
Tunktnuwock, September 11, 1861.
MAYNARD'S HOTEL,
TUN KIIA XXOC Iv,
WYOMING COUNTY, I'ENXA.
JOHN M A WARD, Proprietor,
HAY TNG taken the Hotel, in the Borough of
Tunkhanncck, recently occupied by Riley
Warner, the proprietor respectfully solicits n share ot
public patronage. The House has been thoroughly
repaired, ami the comforts and accomodations of a
first class Hotel, will be found by all who may favor
t with their custom. September 11, 1361.
NORTH BRANCH HOTEL,
AIESHOPPBJf, WYOMING COUNTY, I>A
AVm. H. 1 OUTRIGHT, Prop'r
HAVING resumed tho proprietorship of the above
Hotel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
render the house an agreeable place of sojourn for
all who may favor it with their custom.
Win. 11 CCRTRIHIIT.
June, 3rd, 1863
■ pans jDohi.
TOWAN33A, PA..
If- B. BARTLET,
[Late of the BBRAIXARD HOUSE, ELMIRA, N. Y.J
PROPRIETOR,
T b ?„. M £ ANR HOtRT " one of the- LARGEST
f" ARRANGED Houses in the country—lt
is fitted up in the most modern and unproved styh
and no pains arc spared to make it a pleasant and
agreeable stopping-place for all,
v 3, n2l, ly
M. GILMAN,
teNTIST.
if GTLMAN, has permanently Seated in Tunk-
IVI. bannock Borough, and Mspoctfully tenders his
professional services to the ekiaens of this place nod I
urrounding country.
Ul WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE BATIS-
F.WTfONi '
rr Office over Tut ton's Law Office, near th e Pos
Office.
Dec. 11, 1861.' H •El
TO NERVOUS SUFFERERS OF IIOTH
SEXES.
A REVEREND GENTLBMAN IIAVTNG BEEN I
re? < re< to health in a few days, after undergoing all j
, tottt !' ne " nt F irregular expensive invdes of
rti 'J ' -""sets# considers it hi* sacred do-
to tts afflicted fellow creatures I
the means of cure Hence, on the reeeintofan ltd-,
send (f ree ) a ?opy of the
, 11 Ji f ° v r
m street, Brooklyn, N e York. Vdn?4ly I
poet's d'onier.
RORY S KISSING.
Lout a kiss do yc n.-k ! Its mo that can tell;
1-or old ai 1111 now, I'm minding it well,
\Y lien a spalpeen of throe with bow much delight
My mother kisesd liory and bade him good night
But my mother ?bo died anl left Rory behind,
A nd 1 he lasses I fact brought her so to my mind,
That at Kissing I went first one and anither,
Because they wore bonnets and looked like my
mither.
At last, would yon think it, swate Brigot O'Flynn
Had scarcely been kissed when she kssed me agin,
And told rue a praest, iway down in the city,
Woul l say. if we'd ask him, a kind of a ditty.
•' A ditty, bwate Bridget, and what might it be
" Ne'er mind, my dear Rory, but justcorao wid me;"
We trudged to the oily, and auro as my life,
lie said a short ditty, and called her my wife.
We got. a wee cottage, a pig and a spade ;
Bridget sickened ; wo hired her sister for maid ;
The inaid I was kissing, when, true as ye're there,
I felt the outd divil a pulling my hair
' Begone, ye ould varmint !" I yelled in affright,
And soit of turnud round to be getting a sight;
What did I diskiver.? Instead of an 1 If,
.iwate Bridget 0,1-Taherty there just herself.
' 0 Rory!" she blubbered, still pulling away,
"But sick is my heart with your conduct to-day;
A kissing my sister while Fui in my bed,
Nor able to raise from the pillow my head.
'Truth ! Bridget," says T, perhaps you can mind
\\ hen yc to the kissing were greatly inclined ;
Ye kissed me and kissed me at Donnybrook fair,
And now by the jabcrs yc'ro pulling my hair.
Begone ' ye ould fool, wij a rumpis like this,
I'm only a learning your sister to kiss.'."
Jlelttt
1
Tfli SILVER OITTI 111
Over the sun bathed pastures, above the
flagrant bilberry swamps and the upland
glens, floated the liquid clarion of the stage
horn dying away amid great piles of mossy
rocks and mountain gorges, where the most
adventurous footsteps had never trod, with
a sweet, melancholy cadence, until you have
distinguished its burden from the gurgle of
the brooks and the wood birds.
News from (he seat of war! The village
mail ha:l come in, with its undeciphered
frieght of grief and lamentation, pride and
sadness. What, else could it be, when Sun
nyclifT. like all thb Test of our New TTitgland
villages, had-sent the-flower of Us young
men to the battle-field ; and every mother
held her breath with vague apprehension
and turned from the bright flush of June
roses with a shuddering thought of that
other crimson which dyed the pale daisies of
Southern meadows.
The noonday eon shone full into the great
old fashioned kitchen of the farm house,
with its white board floor and windows hung
with chintz curtains. On either side of the
broad flat door-stone were wooden boxes of
rank leaved hydranges, and the giant uiaple
that seerued to stretch its leafy branches
above the roof, was all musical with the stir
and twitter of little birds. Just in the cool
impenetrable shadow of that same maple
Agnes Miller stood, folding up- the read and
re read letter of her brother in the wars—
with a flushed check, and wishing for the
thousand and first time that she was a man
tojoia in the glorious cause.
l It would have done your heart good, in
those days of pale faces and wasp-like figures,
to see such a rosy, healthy, bit of bloom as
Agnes Miller ? Round cheeked, bright eyed,
with a light elastic footstep that never seem
ed to be weary, and a brow just tinged
with the mountain winds ami June suns.
Agnes did not know what headache meant,
and was only acquainted by reputation with
the hipo ! she was as pretty in her pink
calico dress as any duchess in rose-colored
satin, and the single spray of white wax ap
ples twisted ii to her hair glimmered like
gigantic pearl-drops.
All of a sudden, assho stood there thougth
fully turning the letter round and round, an
arm was stoled about Hie trim little waist
and another shadow fell on the velvet
grass !
''Don't Charles !"
You see she was not a bit startled, and
Charles, like a sensible fellow that he was—
interpreted ''dyii'l" in the right way, and
immediately stole another kiss.
"Come Agnes, let's sit down on the door
stone, and you shall tell mo what Harry
says, for f sec you have a letter from him
there. ~
bide by side, in the moving shade of the
dense old maple, the two lovors read over
the hastily scribbled lines It was a pretty
tab. tail. yet yorj could not have helped won
dering how it was that so fresh and beauti
ful a creature an Agnes Miller could ever
have fallen in love with that pale little shoe
maker, stunted in growth and Uwe in ope
foot. But the truth was Agnes looked be
yond mere exteriors and saw the noble heart
and steadfast will that shot* out through
diaries Henuison'n pale, thoughtful face.
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGHT. "—Thomas Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 1864.
"Well," said Charles nt length, lohling the
letter once again, "it seems that his ardor is
aR glowing as ever.
"Yeß," said Agnes, abstractedly ; adding a
moment afterwards. "How I should like to
send the dear fellow something ! O Ohailes if
we were only rich !"
"Just the thought that was in my heart
scarcely an hour ago," said Dennison. "Do
you know, Agnes, that if I had a thousand
dollars in cash, 1 could buy that little shoe
store in the village ?"
"Could you ?" said Agnes, turning her
wistful hazel eyes full upon him. "O
Charles—and then '
"And then we could get married," said
Charles, taking up the broken thread of her
words in tho most natural manner possible.
"Rut I haven't got the money, nor do I see
any probability of getting it, so, for all I can
see, tbe best way is to rest contented with
the blessing Cod has already sent us !
"Aud I have just half an hour to sit here
in the sunshine and breathe in the fragrance
of the springing grass, before I must return
to my shop.
Agnes was tying up a little nosegay of
white svringas, fragrant as the breath of
spice islands and roses, with sprays of green
southwood, for Charles to carry with him to
the place where he toiled for daily bread.—
He liked to look up from his monotonous
employment to see the bright blossoms on
the window seat—it made him think of
Agnes !
"I shall write llarry a long letter to-night
said the girl, pensively} as 6he leaned over to
gather a fresh rose, "althoogh, to besure, I
have not much news to communicate—except
about Aunt Ilepsey's death."
"How strange it was, Agnes," said Den
nison, "for the old creature to leave all her
antiquated brocades and venerable wardrobe
to strangers, anil nothing to you, who tended
her through her last illness, and was always
supposed to be her favorite grand niece.
"Nothing, Charles?" You forget tho
huge old work-basket, with its rusty shears
and steel thimble and a ball of wrinkled
wax."
" Well, that amounts to nothing, unless
indeed j-on sell the working implements for
old iron," said Charles, laughing.
Agnes shook her hea l with a smile.
" No, I shall never sell anything that be
longed to dear, funny old Aunt Hepsey. I
shall keep the basket,' not because of its in
trinsic value, but because it was her's."
" I have heard," said Charles, taking the
completed boquet from Agnes' lap, and dis
posing it with lovely ostentation in the but
ton hole of his coat, " of legatees discovering
broad gold pieces fn crannies of work-hexes, 1
but unfortunately yours is a basket ! I'm
afraid, Agnes, that Aunt Ilepsey only wan
ted to give you a hint on the subject of in
dustry when she bequeathed you these rusty
shears!"
" Nonsense," said Agnes, laughing. But
she stood on the threshhold a long, long
time gazing after Charlie Denniso.i as he
walked slowly down the roael, under the
green, overhanging boughs of the wayside
elms.
" Dear Charles !'' she mused ;is it not
hard that we should be obliged to work so
constantly, when others rlvel in luxury ?
But lam wrong to complain; how many
girls mourn their nearest ones dead upon the
Southern plains, while m} - lover is safe at
home. Poor, lame Charles Jif I could only
suffer for you !"
She stood a moment, musing and then
roused herself detenulnately, exclaiming,
half aloud;
" I know what I will do for -Harry, poor
fellow! I will knit him a pair of those old
fashioned, cotton stockings that Aunt Ilepsy
always said would outwear a dozen woolen
affairs. It will keep my fingers busy, aud
perhaps still the wanderings of my mind. I
don't think I have forgotten the art of wield
ing the knitting needles ?"
The old farm-house garret! Have our
readers ever passed beneath the shadow of
its dreamy precincts ? The massiye brown
rafters overhead—the little crescent-shaped
window just beyond the brick chimney
where your eye roves over the summer land
scape, stretched out in sunshine their bun
ches of summer savory and pennyroyal dang
ling from the beams—and the worn trunks
and boxes piled against one another, like
pilgrims whose journey is done. Somehow
there was an atmosphere about this silent
garret that made Agnes Millei feel as if she
was breathing the influence of half a century
back—as if she was an intruding ghost on the
hush of the past! But the cracked mirror
leaning against tho chimney reflected the
image of a pretty little ghost,with pink calico
dress and cheeks to match, whose small feet
patted on the massive shingles abovo in the
days of April and violets 1
There tho knitting needles lay in the great
wicker basket, which, with all its contents,
" useful or otherwise," as Auot Ilepsey's
will said, was bequeathed to Agnes Miller—
They were rusty and discolored, but Ag
nes knew she could rub them bright ; so she
took tho basket in her bands, and trip
ped away down stairs, lightly, softly as she
wont. i
, There was a window jtt6t in the eight of
the staircase, where I loved to sit—a window
looking down into the green wilderness of a
mammoth sweet briar bush, whose spicy
odors rose upflike a tolum of incense in the
summer air There Agnes established her
self for her afternoon task ; and there a
matronly old lad}', capped and spectacled,
found her about five minutes later.
" Why Agnes, child, what yoti doing ?''
Mrs. Miller looked through a treacherous
mist that swarmed before her eyes, and pro
nounced that the cotton was about the right
6ize.
Then she settled down a stair below her
daughter, ostensibiy because it was a cool
place where she might " pick over" her bas
ket of ruby red currants, freshly gathered
from the bushes—in reality to talk about
Ilarry, with Agnes for an audience !
These mothers ! how lovingly they treas
ure up the absent ones in the very heart of
hearts!
Agnes was fastening on her taper waist
the same old silver knitting sheath, set into
a diamond shaped piece of blue brocade, long
since faded into di;n Indistinctness, that had
once been the pride of Aunt llepsey,s heart.
" Why, mamma, how strange ! The nee
dle will not run in the sheath !"
" Perhaps it is broken," suggested Mrs.
Miller.
"rt is not I think something must be in
the sheath—it seems to be obstructed."
Agnes unfastened it as she spoke, and ex
amined the small tube closely.
" It looks like'brown paper rolled up very
tightly mamma. Please lend me a pin to
take it on'."
Mrs. Miller leaned over her daughter's
shoulder and took up the tiny bit of paper
that dropped from the sheath, while agues
composedly secured the small implement to
its place again.
"Agnes, my love—surely my eyes do net
deceive me, old and dim though they are
growing ! exclaimed Mrs Miller. " Tell me
what this ie !"
And Agnes saw that the despised piece of
paper was a bank note for one thousand dol
lars.
Poor old aunt Ilepsey—no earthly persua
sion had ever induced her to patronize sav
ings' banks or investments! But when her
will was made, she had bequeathed the wick
er basket to Agnes, her favorite niece, having
intended to reveal to her the secret of the
silver sheath. But the death-blow came sud
■ dculv, as it always will, prepare for it as we
may, and the old lady died and made no sign!
"Mamma!" said Anges, when their first
astonishment had subsided ! have read some
thing like this in fairy books of wild romance,
but I never dreamed thst such an adventure
could happen to me?"
Little Anges you have yet to learn ihat
truth is sometimes stranger than fiction!
The poor whip poor-will was singiDg in the
fringe of woods that bordered the mountain
pasture*, and the dew lay heavy on the white
lilies by the garden fence, when Charles Den- i
nison came up to the old door stone, where
Agnes was generally tending her border of
pansies, at that hour. She was there, all
blooming in her pink dress, and ready to
welcome him, in a soft little kiss.
"Charles?" she said," what were you tell
ing me about t be village shoe store this morn
ing.
" That I could buy it for a thousand dol
lars, why do you ask? I am not likely to
make a purchae at present."
" Charles," she went on hesitatingly, you
—you would not scorn to accept help from
me, would you?"
" Are we not one, dearest?" he returned
gaily, "But what does this mysterious ques
tion mean?"
" You have not come into possession cf a
gold mine have you?"
" Almost!" whispered Agnes, laying the
bank bill upon his hand. " Now, Charles, I
understand what dear old Aunt Hepsey
meant when she lett me the wicker-work
basket."
Of course, Charlei was astonished—and
more so than ever when he heard the whole
history of tne slip of brown paper. However,
he came to the conclusion that Aunt Hep
sey's inscrutable will had more meaning In
its clause than had been at the time supposed.
And when the golden harvest moon of
August was melloxr in the sky, Harry Miller,
the "bold soldier boy," came on a furlongh
to attend his sister's weeding.
A STEP SON.—A few mornings since, we
were relating to our family the fact of a
friend having found a child on the door step,
a fine litt'r male Infant, whom he had adopted,
when one of the olive branches remarked:
"Pa, dear, it'll be his step son, won't it ?"
We thought it would decidedly
rar M i once," said a friend, " saw a regi
ment of Tennessee niggers on parade, and
when tbey came to the " right dress," with
the wh'tes of their eyes all turned, it looked
Just like a chalk mark.
—' '
A oompany of Frenchmen has been
formed in Chicago, for catching rats, curiug
their skins, and expecting them to Paris,
where tbey are made up into tho finest qual
ity of kid gloves.
JEST No human heart is.ever vaeatrt. It
■ has an inhabitant either an angel or a dpyjl.
S 4K 1* m*f\
Ifltscellaims.
Phrenological Karacter of Mr. Mark
Mllberry. Esq.
Given at the nffiss of Pi of. John Billing,
prakhkal p/trenologis, prist#4.
Ainalireness—Big. Stiks out like a hornet's
Dest. You ought tew be able tew luv tho
whole human fatnilee with youre bump at
onst. You will never be a wiuderer long
not enny.
Follyliks— You have got the natral wa.—
A splendid bump. It feels like a Dimrao
kratik bump, too. Menny a man has got to
be konstable with half your buuip.
Kombati/ness —Sleightually, very much
Yu might fite a woman, tuff match. I 6hud
like tew bet on the woman. This bump wants
poultising.
Vitllcs —Thunder what a bump ? I Bhud
think ye cud eat a hoss and cart, and chase
the driver three miles, without any praktis.
Thunder and lightening! what a bump !
what a bump. Let Barnum get his hand on
this bump and yure fortin is made. What a
bump ! what a bnmp.
Musik —A sweet, pretty bumy. About
the size ova lima beau. If I had this bump,
I wud buy tne a juise harp, and wander
among the rocky mountains. Pon my word
Mr. Mulberry, my advice is, nus this bump.
Giecnbac >B —Well developed. " A gorgeous
bump. A fortin to enny man. Yu kant
help but die rich, il this bump don't go back
on you. Gorgeous bnmp ! happee mas ! die
when you feel like it, deth won't have enny
sorrows for yure relashuns that this bump
won't heal.
Be Coutsnt.
Never complain of your birth, your em
ployment, your hardships ; never fancy that
you could be something, if you only had a
different lot and sphere assigned 10 you.—
God understands his own plan, and ho knows
what you want better than you do. Tbe very
things you most depreciate as fatal limitations
or obstructions, are probably what yuo
most want. What you call hidranccs, obsta
cles, discouragements, are probably God's
opportunities ; and it i 6 nothing new that
the patient should dislike bis medicines, or
any certain proof that they are poisons. No !
trace to all such impatience. Choke that
envy which gnaws at your heart, because you
are not in the same lot with others : bring
down your soul, or rather bring it up to re
ceive God's will, and do his work, in your
lot, in your sphere,under your cloud of obscu
ity, against your temptations, and then you
shall find that your condition is never oppos
ed to 3'our good, but consistent with it,
Hobson's Choice
As the term," IJobson'a Choice," will last
to the end of time, it is well to learn the cir
cum stances on which it is founded. Mr. To
bias Ilobson was a carrier, and the first man
in England who let out hackney horses. He
lived In Cambridge, and observing that the
scholars rode hard, his manner was to keep
a large stable of horses, with boots, bridles,
and whips, to furnish the gentlemen at once
without going from college to collegn borrow,
as they hare done since the death of this
worthy, uian W hen a man came for a horse
he was led into the stable, where there was
great choice; but he obliged him to take the
horse which stood next to the stabio door, 60
that every customer was alike well served
according to his chance, and every horse rid
den with the same justice. £rom whence it be
came a proverb, when what ought to be your
election was forced upon you' to say Hobson's
choice—Historical Magazine
Tote for Cur tin and avoid the draft said
Republican journals before the election. "Tax
the people to avoid the draft is the cry Bince
the election.
What will thq next be?— E.v
Why some other lie or false pretense of
course. They have been changing names cheat
ing, robbing and sailing under false promises
ever since thep had an existence.
Some abolitionist who reads the above
will doubtless eay "that's a lie?" no stop and
think, it is as true as ho'y writ.
A man came into a printing office to beg
a paper. "Because," said he, "we like to
read newspapers very much, but our neigh
bors fcre all too stingy too take one.
A Darkey who blacks boots at the Nation
al Hotel, in Washington has the following
motto conspicously displayed over his
1 stand:
"No' North, no South,
No East, no West,
NO TRUST."
■
jcsr A new counterfeit two dollar note on
| the Stroudsburg Bank has just made its ap
j pearance, The vignette is a locomotive and cars
The safest uiode is to refuse all hills of this
, character.
- KIJK) I I - 1 "• ; - ' '
|
• C2T The more muse you can ipake on
1 one string, the less it will cost you to keep
| your fiddle strung.
The Princess of Wales give birth to
| a son on Jan. 8. The mother and her child
j were bolii progressing favorably.
*
* ~ _ ~*t
HEiUMS; SI.SO PER ANMtTM
LOCAL EDITOR'S ANNUAL REPORT.—' Tba
Local of the Memphis Bulletin publishes the
following annual report, which may b taken
aa a fair average of the experience of local
editors generally:
R EPORT.
Times asked to drink 11398
Drank 1
Requested to retract 415
Didn't retract 4|g
Invited to parties, receptions, presenta
tions, etc., by people fishiDg for puffs. 3,333
Took the hint 33
Didn't take the hint. 3 300
Threatened to be whipped 174
Been whipped • 0
Whipped the other fellow 4
Didn't come to time 170
Been promised bottles of champagne,
whisky, gin, bottles, mm, boxes of
segars, if we would go after them.. 3,650
Been after them 1
Good again 0
Been asked "What's the news?'. .. 300,000
Told 14
Didn't know 200,000
Lied about it
Been to chnrch 2
Changed politics 33
Expect to change still. 33
Cash on hand SOO
Gave for charity 55
Gave for terrier dog §23
Sworn off bad habits 722
Shall swear off this year 723
Number of our bad habits. 0
Ivook out for the Women,
Young men keep your eyes open when
you'r after the women. If you bite a naked
hook, you are green. Is a pretty form or
drees so attractive, or a pretty face even?"
Flounces boys, are no soft of consequence,
A pretty face will grow old. Paint will wash
off. The sweet smiles of the flirt will give
way in the scowls of the termagant. Anoth
er and far different being will take the pjaco
of the lovely goddess who smiles and e*ts
your candy. The Coquette will not shine in
the kitchen corner, and with the once spark
ling eye and beaming countenance will look
daggers at you. Beware, keep your eyes
open boy, when you are after women. If ahe
blushes when found at her domestic duties
be sure she is one of the dishrag aristocracy,
little breeding and a good deal less sense. If
you marry a girl that knows nothing hut
how to commit women slaughter on the piano
you have got the poorest piece of music exer
got up.—Find one whose mind is right, and
then pitch in. Boy don't be hanging around
like a sheep thief as though you were asham*
ed to be seen in day time but walk up like a
chicken to the dough pile, and ask for the ar
ticle like a man.
STOPPING PAPERS —The latest instance of
the insane policy of stopping a newspaper
because one number contained an article that
was displeasing, was that of Miss Sophronia
Jones, at the West, who ordered 1 her sub
scription to the Pioneer to chase, because
editor had not independence enough to re
fuse to publish the marriage of her'old sweet
heart to Amanda Brooks. It was bad
enough, Sophronia thought to lose her beau,
but to hare his marriage to another ptft into
her paper, was more than flesh and blood
could stand. Hereafter she will borrow,
the paper of her neighbor Proctor, and Will
of course read the marriages first thibg
Never borrow your neighbor's newspaper;
the chances are that he wants to read it him
self. Smoke fewei segars, drink less ale, and
subscribe for the paper yourself, Then, aad
not before, you will discharge your duty to
yourself and to your family.
SINGULAR DISCREPANCY In General Mc-
Clellau's roport in a letter from him to
E. M. Stanton, Secretary of War, uoder date
of June 28,18C2, In " the report on the
conduct of the war" ( Part I, folio .139 ) is
the same letter with a slight variation. In
Gen. McClellan's report the two last senten
ces of this letter are. "If I save this army
now I tell you plainly that I owo no thanks
to you, or to any other person in Washington,
You have done your best to sacri flee this tr
uly," In " the report on the conduct of
the war," the charge against Stanton is omit
ted, *
Query ? Was it properly left out iu the
ccpy furnished the committee by Stanton to
shield himseli, or by the committee to white
wash him 1 If so it shows the partisan con
duct of that committee, and throws a
suspicion on the truth of their whole re
port.
• MICKEY takes care of the horses at one of
our hotels. The other day a dashing estab
lishment drove up, the owner of which said
to Mickey, with his blandest smile r
"Take good care of the horses, Mickey
Rub 'em down well, keep'em clean and give
'era plenty of oats. I'll see yon before I g<)'
away. ,
"Yes, yer honor," said Mickey, "tjbfly'H
get whatever they needs, and mere too be
sides. But in case yer honor and meaelf
shouldn't meet again, wouldn't you be good'
enough to look at me now
The look was given : or M**e}W "saw
it," and a nice fifty postal warmed the paint
of Mickey's hand Ibersifter. ,
„*■ t> -v
YOL. 3, NO. 29.