North Branch democrat. (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, April 01, 1863, Image 1

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    SICHIIjER, Proprletor<]
SERIES,
garth fraudi prinorrat.
A weekly Democratic
feXews, the Arts _
BY HARVEY SICKLER. W
Terms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) $1.50. If
Cot pain within six months, $2.00 will be charged.
ADVER-Tisirorci!
10 lines ort ; | ] I <
less, make three four j tiro t three six > one
one square week.- iceeks rrto'thmo'thimo' th > year
1 Square 1,00. 1.25 2.251 2,87' 3,00: 5.00
J do. 2,00> 2,50 3.25 3,50' 4.50! 6.00
i do. 3,00; 3,75; 4,75; 5,50! 7,00) 9,00
4 Column. 4,00; 4.501 6.50 8,00; 10,00 15.00
4 do. 6,00 7,00 10,00 12.00;-17,00i 25,00
1 do. 8,00- 9,50 14,00; 18,00(25,00 35.00
1 do. 10,00! 12,00 i 17,00: 22,00,28,00 40,00
Business Cards of one square, with paper, 85.
JOB WOJIKI
(if all kinds neatly executed, and at prices to suit
the times.
Uusiness
BACON STAND.—Nicholson, Pa. C L
JACKSON, Proprietor. fvln49tf]
H' sTcOOPER, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
• Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
("Teo. s. tutton, attorney at law,
J Tuukhanaock, Pa. Office in Stark's Brick
Slock, Tioga street.
YITM. M.PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of-
V'V fiee in Stark's Brick Block, Tioga St., l'unk
banneck, Pa.
"ITTLE DEW ITT, ATTOItNF.Y'S AT
J LAW, Office on Tioga street, Tunkhannock.
Pa.
R. R. LITTLE. .1. TIE WITT.
J V. SMITH, M. I), PHYSICITN A SURGEON,
• Office on Bridge Street, next door to the Demo
crat Office, Tunkhannock, Pa.
Harvey sicklf.R. attorney at lavv
and GENERAL INSURANCE AGENT Of
fice, Bridge street, opposite Wall's Hotel, Tunkhan
nock Pa.
J. W. HITOADS, TMZ. D.,
Graduate oj the University of Penn'a.)
Respectfully offers his professional services to the
titizens of Tuekhannock and vicinity. He can He
found, when not professionally engaged, either at his
Brag Store, or at his resideuee on Putnam Street.
DR. I. C. GORSELniK, HAVING LOCAT
ED AT THE FALLS, WILL promptly attend
all calls in *lO line of his profession—may be found
at Been><f'. Hotel, when not professionally absent.
Fa!* Oct. 10, 1861.
""fjRTjTcT BECKER A
PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS,
Would respectfully announce to the citizens of Wy
oming that they have located at Mehoopany, where
they will promptly attend to all calls in the line of
their profession. May he found at his Drug Storo
when not professionally absent.
T M. CAREY, M. D. — (Graduate of the ;j
J • M. Institute, Cincinnati) would respecttully
announce to the citizens of Wyoming and Luzerne
Counties, that ho continues his regular practice in tbo
♦arious departments of his profession. May no found
t his office or residence, when not professionally ab
cnt
Particular attention given to the treatment
Chronic Diseas.
entremoreland, Wyoming Co. Pa.—v2n2
WALL'S HOTEL"
LATE AMERICAN HOUSE/
TI NKHANNOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
rHIS establishment has recently been refitted and
furnished in the latest style. Every attention
will be given to the comfort and convenience of those
who patronize the llnu^e.
T. B. WALL, Owner and Proprietor.
Tankhannock, September 11, 1861.
NORTH ERAW CH HOTEL,
MESIIOPPEN, WYOMING COUNTY, l'A
RILEY WARNER, Proper.
HAYING resumed the proprietorship of the above
lintel, the undersigned will spare no effort to
feeder the house an agreeable place of sojourn for
*ll who may favor it with their custom.
RILEY WARNER.
__September 11, 1361.
MAYWARB'S HOTEL,
TI'NKHANNOCK,
WYOMING COUNTY, PENNA.
•JOHN MAYS Alt D , Proprietor.
HA\ TNG taken the Hotel, in the Borough of
Ttinkhanncck, recently occupied by Rijey
Earner, the proprietor respectfully solicits a share oi
Public patronage. The House has b thorough! v
repaired, and tho comforts and accomodations of a
first class Hotel, will be found by all who may favor
"with their custom. September 11. 1361.
M. GI LAI A IN, u
DENTIST.
M OILMAN, has permanently located in Tunk
• hannock Borough, and respectfully tenders his
professional services to the citizens of this place and
surrounding country.
ALL WORK WARRANTED, TO GIVE SATIS.
FACTION.
Office over Tutton's Law Office, near the Pos
Office.
Dec. 11, 1661.
HO WARD ASSOCIATION,
HIITTjADELPHIA.
T the Relief qf the Sick \ Distressed, afflicted with
Virulent and Chronic Diseases, and especially
for the Cure of Diseases ./the Sexual Organs
Medical advice given gratis, by the Acting Surgeon
Valuable Reports on Spermatorrhoea or Seminas
•Teakness, and other Diseases of the Sexual Orfsns
■t'ion the New Remediesemployed in the Dispeooa-
T, sent to the afflicted in soaled letter envelope One
•f charge. Two or three stamps for postage will bo
Jjreeptable. Address, Dr. J. SKTLLTX HOUGH
*QN, Abtiog Surgeou, Howard Association, NBOly
*u>th itreet. Philadelphia Pa, lnliOty.
L* resh Ground Plaster In Quantities
wd prices to euit purrljasers, uow for sale a
M. Mj|it 9m.
|)ocfs Corner.
[from the Philadelphia Evening Bulletin ]
THE MANAGER—A CHRIS
TIAN LYRIC.
BY EDWARD C. JONES.
Kneel, Christian, by the manger bed,
Think deeply ; let no words be said,
For thee Jehovah-Jesus, thee,
Begins his pilgrim infancy.
Go lay thy beating heart to hir,
And count its infant pulses there ;
The Roman spear in future day.
Shall lay its holy arteries "bare.
Look, Christian, at thoso tiny hands,
That fondly seek his mother's breast,
The stern rough nail in luture day,
Must through their shrinking nerves be prest.
Kiss that dear little foot, like snow,
It sweeps frotn out the swathing baud,
Amid its crimson it must glow,
Transfixed be mortals impious hand.
How calm that gentle, liquid eye,
Upturned to Mary's speaking face,
Without, the wintry wind is high,
At itbin, what Summer Love we traco.
Christian, that eye in future day,
Shall turn its ray upon the weak,
Shall volumn forth its princely spell,
And give to pnde an ashen cheek.
Amid the bustle of the Inn,
The clonging tones, of jostling throngs.
There is one still smali voice within,
That voice to Mary but belongs,
Hushed by (he warble, how he smiles,
The little briny drops sustain,
And in tho Stable she beguiles,
ller bosom of tie shadow d pain.
Christian ! he yet shall weep alone,
O'er social wrings, and grievance high,
And no fyiid parent have the power,
To wipe that moisture from bis eye.
Alone, 'mid bustling, careless crowds,
His pilgrim infancy began
Alone, in iuture day be toils,
'Mid un.ippreciativc Man.
Infant of days! thy life, thy death,
Oh, what circumstance may bound,
What issues, solemn and immense.
Tha' manger-bad encompass round,
Agustus taxed his lb,man realm,
But thou a mightier tax hast laid.
, OL ! Universe! redeemed aud won,
It nay be owned, but never paid.
NinnOTrM „• vWAavgit —| CMMMPM—Mpa—
Select §tom.
' -' '-*5
AFTER THE BATTLE.
BY VIRGINIA F. TOWN 8 F.N P.
It was over at last. The sun, which had
walked slow and cairn through the long hours
of that terrible day, Lad gone down iu a col
umn of fire beyond the western hills, and
now the stars were coming out swiftly, like
petals scattered all over an azure soil.
And the stars looked down on the battle
field, as they had come out anil looked down
for scores of years on the fair young land
which had arisen in her strength and beauty
until amid all the nations there was none to
compare with her—on the great cities that
were hung like jewels on her green bosoms—
on the bioad haruest fields that waved their
tresses for joy through her golden summers—
on the houses where the dwellers thereof sat
peaceful and happy under their own vines and
fig trees—on all this had the stars which
came up night after night to the watch tow
ers of the sky looked, until at last there came
a change ; aud now, where the harvest had
waved their locks in the summer winds, was
that most terrible sight which the sun and
stars ever beheld—the night of a battle-field.
Tiie conflict had raged hot and terrible that
day.
The hearts of the dismal mountains had |
shuddered with the thunder of cannons and J
the earth drank in blood as in autumn she
drinks in the equinoctial tains; hut at last
the days awful work was done, and the night
winds lifted the grey banners of stnoke from
the battle-flehl. Q
The air was full of the heat and smell of
powder. The dead lay thick together, with
stark, ghastly (aces, on trampled grass the
wounded lay thicker, filling the air
moans—riderless horses rushing terrified o-f*~
er the field ; and the dying daylight of the
solemn stars watching over all. ~~ A little way
from the battle fiehi was a small stream,
making a blue fold in the dark grass, and
two men had crawled to its banks to quench
their thirst.
And when the two men crawled along the
bank, looked up and met each other's faces,
they knew they were enemies, and they knew
too, that a few hours ago, each had aimed his
rifle at the other, and that aim had caused a
ghastly wound a little way from the hearty
which had drank the life-blood ot each, and
each had glared desperately on his adversary
a moment before lie fell.
But there was no fierceness in the eyes of
those men now, as they sat face to face on
the bank of the stream, the strife and the an
ger are all gone now, and they sat still and
looked at each other. At last one of them
spoke :
"We haven't either a chance to hold out
much longer, I judge V'
41 No," said the other, with a mixture of
sadness and recklessness. You did that last
"TO SPEAK HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RICHT.-Thoma 9 Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, ]863.
job of yours well, as that boars witness," and
he pointed to a wound a little way from the
heart, from which the life-blood was slowly
oozing. -arfU*
" Not better than did the
other with a grim smile, as lie pointed to a
wound a little higher up, larger and more
ragged—a deadly one.
And then the two men gazed at again
in the dim light, for the moon had come over
the hills now, aud stood among the stars like
a pearl of great price. As they looked a soft
er feeling stole over the hearts of each toward
his fallen foej a feeling of pity for the strong
manly life laid low, a feeling of regret for that
inexorable necessity of war, which made each
man the slayer of the other ; and at lust one
spoke—
" There's some folks in the world "that feel
worse, I 'spose, because you have gone out
out of it ?"
A spasm of pain was on the bronzed ghast
ly features.
" Yes, 1 ' said the man, in thick tones.—
" There's one woman with a little boy and
girl, away up among the New Hampshire
mountains, that it'll very nigh kill to hear
of this," and then the man groaned out in
bitter anguish, "Oh God have pity on my
wife and children !"
And the other drew closer to him.
" And away down in the cotton fields oj-
Georgia there's a woman and a little girl
whose hearts will break when they hear
what this day has done," and then the cry
wrung itself sharply out of his heart, "Oh
God have pity on them !"
And from that time on, the Northerner and
the Southerner ceased to be foes. The
th .ughts of those distant homes on whom
the anguish was so soon to fa!!, drew them
cluMMogelher in their !a-t hour, and the two
men wept like little children. And at last
ihe Northerner spoke, talking more to him
self than anything else, and he did not know
that the other was listening greedily to every
word.
"She used to oomc—my little girl—bless
her heart! every night to meet me when I
come home fr >m the fields; and she would
stand under the great plum tree that's just
beyond the back door at home, with the sun
light making a yellow crown on her golden
curl, and the laugh dancing in her eyes
when she heard tin- click of the gate. 1 see
her there now, and I'd take her in my arms
and she'd stick up her little red lips for a
kiss ; but my little giri will never watch un
der the uid p'.um tree by the well for her fa
ther again. I shall never hear the cry of joy
as she catches a glimpse of me at the gate—
-1 shall never see her little leet running over
the grass to spring into my arm? again ?"
" And," said the Southerner, " there's a
little brown-eyed, brown-haired girl that us
ed to watch in the cool afternoons for iter
lather when he rode in from his visit to the
plantations—l can see her little face shining
out now from the roses that covered the pil
lars, and her shout of joy as I bounded from
my horse and chasen the little flying feet and
the loud laugh up add down the veranda.—
But toy datling, your bright little face will
grow pale with watching among the roses for
your father, and you and he will never go
laughing and romping up the old veranda
again !"
And the Northerner drew near to the
Southerner, and the hot tears stood on his
cold cheeks, as he said :
'• May God have pity on our fatherless
children !"
"Amen ! ' said the Southerner, fervently.
And the Northerner spoke in a husky
whisper, for the eyes of the dying man were
glassing fast.
" We have fought together like brave men.
We are going before our God in a little while.
Let us forgive each other."
The Southerner tried to speak, but the
sound died away in a gurgle from his white
lips; but lie took the hand of his fallen foe,
and his stiffened fingers enclosed tight over
it, and his last look was one of forgiveness
and peace. And when tho next morning's
sun walked up the grey stairs of the dawn,
touched with pink, it looked down and saw
tho lyo foes lying dead with their hands
clasped in each others, by the stream which
? by the battle-lield.
And the little girl with golden hair that
watched under the plum tree among the hills
of New Hampshire, and the little girl with
bright, brown hair, that waited by the roses
among the green plains of Georgia, were fa
therless.
A Despotism to be Established.
" Another principle must certainly be em
bjdied in our reorganized form of govern
ment. The men who shape the legislation of
this country, when the war is past, must re
member that what we want is power and
strength. The problem will be to combine
the forms of a Republican Government with
the powers of a Monarchial Government—
Philadelphia Press.
" This war has already shown the absurdi
ty of a government with, limited powers ; it
has shewn that the power of every govern
ment ought to be and must be UNLIMITED.—
Philadelphia hoith American.
Such are the sentiments of the leading or
gans of the Black Republican party. They
require no comment, except to be denounced
as the rankest treason to the G-overnmen t.
Pistcllantous.
SINGULAR INCIDENT.
Our correspondent T., writing from the
Ninth Army Corps, opposite Fredericksburg,
narrates the following, which occurred on
Christmas day, while the writer was out on
picket with his company ;
After partaking of a Christmas dinner of
salt junk and hard tack, our attention was at
tracted by a rebel picket who hailed us from
tfie opposite side of the river :
/' I say yank, if a fellow goes over there
wpl! you let him come back again ?"
c Receiving an affirmative answer he pro
ceeded to test the truth of it by paddling
himself across the river. He was decidedly
the cleanest specimen of a rebel I had seen.
In answer to a question, he said he belong
ed to the Georgia Legion. Une of the boys
remarked, " I met quite a number of your
boys at South .Mountain." " Yes I suppose
so—if you were there," said the rebel, while
his face grew very sad. " \Ye left very many
of our boys there. My brother, poor Will,
was killed there It was a hot place fur a
while, and we had to leave it in a hurry."
"That's so, Georgia, your fellows fuught
well there, and had all the advantage, but the
old Keystone boys were pressing you hard.
By the .way I have a likeness here (taking it
out <# his pocket) that I picked up on the
battle field the next morning and I have car
ried it ever since. - ' He handed it to the rebel
who, on looking at it, pressed it to his lips;
my inotaer ! my mother !" he
exh-bited considerable emotion at the recov
ery of tT*e picture, but ou regaining his com
posure he saiii, (hat his brother had it in his
possession and must have lost it in the fight
lie then asked the name of the one to
whom he was indebted for the lost likeness
of his mother, remarking, " There may be
better times soon, and we may know each olh
er better." He had taken from his pocket a
small bible in which to write the address
when Alex. , who had taken no pait in
the conversation, fairly yelled, I know thai
hook ! 1 lost it at Bull Run !" thar's whar I
got jt, Mr. Yank, saul the rebel—and handed
it to Alex. " I am much obliged to you
Georgia Legion, for I would'nt part with it
for all the Southern Confederacy." I was a
little curious to know somethiug further of
tiie book, so I asked Alex, to let me see it.
He passed it to me. I opened it, and on the
Hy leaf saw written in a neat lady's hand :
•'My Christmas gift to Alex. Deo. |
25th, 1800, Ella," " Well, Alex." said 1,
•' it is not often one has the same gilt pre
sented to him a second time." " True Cap
tain ; and if I could but see the giver of that
to-daj, there's hut one other gift that I would
want." " What's that Alex ?" " This re
bellion played out and my discharge in my
pocket."
The boys had all been busily talking to our
rebel friend, who seeing a horseman ap
proaching m the direction of his post, bid us
a hasty good bye, and made as quick a trip
as possible across the Rappahannock. Night
came on, and those not on duty lay down on
the frozen ground, to dream of other Christ
mas nights, when we knew not of war.
Shape of Our llodies
Symmetry is one of the conditions of Tie
created man upright in His own image. The
vital organs in the chest and abdoinan are
fitted to an erect spine. If the upper portion
of the spine bend forward, as in drooping
shoulders, not only is the great nerve marrow
of the spine itself distorted, and its circulation
crippled, (which is a serious matter, ri
suiting in certain common affections,) but the
lungs, hearts liver, and stomach lose their
natural place, an 1 perform all their duties
disadvantageous!}-. A very large proportion
of our many affections of these vital organs
take their rise in such displacement. What
shall be done ?
1. Improve the desks in our schools, so
that, instead of compelling our young to sit
for hours every day in a stooping poition they
shall be compelled to sit erect, with their
heads and shoulders drawn well back. This
is very easily accomplished. Such a change
in our school furniture would prove priceless
natural blessing.
2. Remove every ounce of pressure from the
waist. Fants worn without suspenders,
and drawn close about the body, skirts and
dresses pressing at the waste, must produce
round shoulders, for when the organs of the
abdomen are pushed downward, the shoulders
must drop in order to maintain the relation
between the thoracic and abdominal viscera.
3. The back legs of our chairs must be
sawn off two inches shorter than the front
ones. The front edges of the seat must not
be more than fourteen inches high for a
woman, and sixteen for men. This arrange
ment will immediatly relieve the back while
sitting, and secure & good position of
shoulders.
4. The habit of walking erect, wit h the air
of a sob.ier, must be generally cultivated.
5. Gymnastic culture of the shoulders.
With such means the nation will become up
right and vigorous.— Dio Lei Pis.
" You can't do that again," as the pig said,
when the boy cut his tail off.
Political.
Daniel Webster's Ideas ol Concession,etc.
" March, 1861, when I found it my duty
ti address t Congre- a o 1 these imp- r ant topics,
it was my conscientious belief, and it still re
mains unshaken, that if the controversy with
Texas could not be amicably adjusted, there
must, in all probability, be civil war and
bloodshed ; and in contemplation of such a
prospect, although wo took it for granted
that no opposition could arise to the opposi
tion of the United States that would not be
suppressed, it appeared of little consequence
on which standard victory should perch.
But what of that ? I was not anxious about
military consequences ; I looked to the civil
and political state of things and their results,
and I enquired what would be the condition
of the country, if, in this state of agitation, if,
in this vastly extended, though not generally
pervading feeling of the South, war should
break out and bloodshed should ensue in that'
quarter of the Union ? 'That was enough for
me to inquire into and consider; and if the
chances had been one in a thousand, that civ
il war would be the result, I should have felt
that that one-thousandth chance should be
guarded against by any reasonable sacrifice ;
because, gentlemen, sanguine as I am cfthe
future prospeiity of the country, strongly as
I believe now, after what has passed, and es
pecially after the enactment of those measures
to which 1 have referred, that it is likely to
hold together, I yet believe that this Union,
once broken, is incapable, according to all
human experience, of being re-constructed in
its original character, of being re-cemented
by any chemistry, or art, or effort, or skill of 1
man."
The above remarks were made by Webster
in support of the measures which secured
the adjustment of controversies with Texas,
touching its boundary, as well as the estab
lishment of governments in the territories of
New Mexico and Utah, r
—J!—
Copperheads v<^&ji a cksnakcs.
The BlackdßMnjblicaJfc excessively fond
of applying pOpames to their opponents, are
now very applying the term.
"Copperheads'' to the Democrats. We like it
much. Ihere is an applicability about it
which speaks out boldly and has a palpable
meaning.
Ihe "Copperhead" is peculiar to this coun
try : a fearless, independent suake that knows
|l Bpo wer J a nd when disturbed or interLred
with, uses it; it is a brave snake, and there
fore naturally tolerant, harmless and passive;
but take care you do hot trample upon it, for
it never runs, except to attack its foe, and its
bite, when once aroused, is awful.
Now, the representative of the Republican,
opposite to the Copperhead, is the Blacksnake.
And here, too, the analogy is complets. The
black snake is a cowardly, hissing thieving
reptile. lie possesses somewhat the power
to charm hut he always charms the innocent
to destruction. lie robs birds' nests, visits
the barn yard and sucks liens' eggs, and will
often be found curled round the legs of a cow
sucking her milk, just as Black Republican
contractors, jobbers, and office holders are
now doing with Uncle Samuel's cow.-Jefer
soniun.
WHY IS IT DONE
Necessity is the mother of invention." The
truth of this axiom can in no instance, be
more fully verified than that in the the case
of the present abolitionized Republican party
of the United States. Under the plea of ne
cessity, the devil gained a certain point, and
the Abolitionists of to day are endeavoring,
by connecting the plea of necessity with the
idea of invenliun, to accomplish politically
what Satan did morally.
For instanco : it was necessary for a stu
pid and venal Administration, to suppress
certain presses, which exposed its weakness,
and necessity and inveution worked together
to accomplish the object. Necessity upon
the part of a weak and totering administra
tion, was the cause of the suspension of the
writ of Habeas Corpus, and invention hro't
about the arrest of loyal citizens without law
or warrant.
Invention circulated Helper 'a Book and
other incendiary works. Invention is now
forming Loyal Leagues ; is stigmatizing all as
traitors who do not worship at the shrine oi
Abraham, and keeping up a sj-stem of espion
age upon their neighbor's words and acts.
The latest invention, however, of the friends
of this modern Belshazzar, is sending men
through the country, ostensibly engaged in
honest and honorable callings, such as Map
Agents, Insurance Agents, Horse and Cattle
purchasers, Fmit'--fHee Agents, Colporteurs,
&e., but whose real object is to endeavor to
abolitionize the people. In some parts of the
State, this system is being practiced to some
| extent, but wo think not here. Ldf our
friends, however, look out for them, as there
is no knowing what a frenzied set of men
may do.
L.
rar The draft has been quietly progress
ing in those counties of Michigan where the
qpota has not been filled by volunteers.
I TEHMS ( 61.G0 PBH
RECITATION IN GEOGRAPHY*
Seventeenth class in Mental Geography
arise, and group yourselves together.
Toe the crack—heads up like Dew yeast, and
don't talk through your noses."
"What is Geography."
"Don't know"
That's right, sonny— never tell a lie.
"What is the surface of the earth V f
"The out&ide."
"Bully for you, sweet William."
"That's me."
"Which predominates— that is,which !•
the biggest part—land or water;"
"In the jainy season, water; in times of
drouth land."
" What is the big body of water called?"
Old Ocean."
"Whom dees it benefit?"
"The Secretary of the Nary, and hia rel
ativeu in the ship trade."
"How so?"
"They sell rotten ships to the Government
ten times their worth."
' For what purpose do ships sail on the
Ocean?"
"To drown soldiers."
"What do our ships take to other conn*
tries?"
"Raw cotton and minted gold."
"What do they bring back in return?"
Wool, (on the darkey's head,) and other
pestilential diseases."
"That is right, my bully boy, with a wax • .
ear; you shall see Gen. Pope some day."
"What is a peculiar characteristic of the
ocean?"
"Its difference from the Admioiatration,"
"How so, my red topped student?"
"It never becomes corrupt."
"Very well for an orphan. You may go
and kiss the girls and emalate the ocean."
"What is a sea?"
" Pair of spectacles."
" Ah, ha! None of that, Timothy.—
What is a strait ?"
" Next to a full—beats two pair."
" Ilello, there. I'll call you from the deck
into the cabin, John Henrj —You may go
and get some wood."
" What is a channel ?"
" The place a feller oils up with whiskey
just before he makes a political speech."
" Correct; glad to see you in such spirits."
"Thomas, what is a peninsula?"
" A place where the Army of the United
States wanders,.6urroundeQ by a Stonewall."
" What is a cape ?"
" A fur thing worn by ladies."
" Observing youth, thou h&st won a capa
ble name."
" Peter, what is a cave ?"
" The last Republican vote in New York
State."
" Bright-eyed gazelle, I 6ee, but you sea
more. I'll take half of your pie to-day noon.
Now tell me what are the great circles of
the earth ?"
" Hoops."
" Very good. Can you tell me what •
Balmoral Skirt reminds you of ?"
" The peel of a belle."'
'' Next"
" The earth."
" Right; but why so ?"
" Because the son works round it every
twenty-tour hours."
" That's right—go up to the head."
" What is the principal production ofthd
kmporate zones ?"
" Ten-pin alleys, rot-gut, the Maine law,
and confirmed drunkards."
" Who is the Governor of a State ?"
" The inau who furnishes the most money
for the election, or the clerk who has the
handsomest wife."
" Steady, there, or you'll get it. Philan
der what is the object ol the Government?"
" Plunder."
" Correct." . .
" What designates the aristocracy?"
" Codfish."
" What kind of currency is used in the
United States ?" *
" Pill labels, fine teeth combs, water mel
on seeds, pieces of egg shells, old buttons,
nail parings, 'bus tickets, knot holes, ana
postage stamps."
" Can business be carried on in hard mon
ey ?"
"It seems so."
" What is a volcano ?"
" A mountain with a fire-place in it."
" What is a plain ?"
•' A thing used by carpenters." ,
" What kind of cloth is mostly wora"by
the people of Green Bay ?"
" Green Baze !"
" Here, Gustavus, none of that. Seven
teenth class may emerge hence, if it'll keep '*
off the ice."— LaCrosse Damorcrat.
i ,
Death of General Sumner.
SYRACUSE, March £l.
Major-General E. V. Sumner, United States
army, expired at the residence of his son-in
law, Colonel W. W. Teali, in this city, this
morning, at fifteen minutes past one o'clock,
of congestion of the lungs, after au illness of
only five days.
The death of this veteran soldierha*east a
pall of gloom over the entire city, -and the
deep sorrow of our citizens is everywhere
visible.
The places of buaineas are all heavily drap
ed in mourning, and the national flag hangs at
half-mast in evetTpart ol the city. Tho gen
eral was under-tJFuers to report at St. Louia
for duty, and was cn the point of
when attacked by the disease wb ;
terminated fatally. Ia Vne daatu cd Major-
General Sumner the country will mourn the.-
loss of one of her bravest and most pariot
ic defenders-.
He waa one of the oldest general*- in the
army, having been in tho service over forty-,
four years. The last words of the Vetera*
hero were, " God save my country— the Uni
ted States of America." His funeral will pro
bably take place on Tuesday next. ' J*
VOL. 2, N0.34.