yf SICKT IER, Proprietor.]
jSERIES,
giu-fli Brandt pmuirat
X weekly Democratic
paper, devoted to Pol- - -f " , ./"• U
News, tho Art- h.- , . ; (j?
|d Sciences Ac. Pub- . ,>/*
IfeheJ every W fines
lay, at Tunkhannoek, j"
Wvoniinjr County, Pa. -/ fa-r*
BY HARVEY SICKLER. 1
Tcrms—l copy 1 year, (in advance) $1.50. If
pot pain within six months, 82.0Q will be charged.
ADVEIITISING.
10 lines or \ I _ f
less, make three four tiro three 1 six one
one square iccek* 'xeck.~ oio tit 1110 f/i mo th year
\ riquare _ To-'~l~s 2.25 2.-7 lOth. 5.00
1 do. 2.00' 2.50 3,25 .(50 4.50 6.00
I 3 do 3.00 3,75 4.75 5.50'. 7.00 0.00
* Column. 4.0 V 4.5(1 6.5'. S.frt' 10.00 15 110
I do 600 7.00 10.00 12.00; 17-0" -5,00
J do. 8.00 9.50. 14.00 18,00125,00 -15.00
I do. 10,00 12 00 17,0 22,10 28,00 40,00
Business Cards of one square, with paper, $5.
iron -yjsjczj-Lxs:
fall kink neatly executed, an I at prices to suit
he times.
Sli.sillfss JtOtiffS.
BACON SSTANP.—Nicholson. Fa. C. L
JACKSON, Proprietor. [vln49tf]
J s. COOPER. PHYSICIAN & St RGEON
.1, Newton Centre, Luzerne County Pa.
< KO. S. TUTTON, ATTOHNEY AT LAW,
Tunkhannoek, Pa. Office in Stark's Biick
Hock, Tioga otraet.
ITU. SI. PIATT, ATTORNEY AT LAW, Of
\V fiec in Stark'* Brick Block, Tioga St., Tunk
nnnock, Pa.
F ITTLE HEWITT, ATTORNEY'S AT
U LAW, Ofiico on Tioga street, Tunkhannoek,
'a.
R. R. LITTI.E. J PEWITT.
r v. SMITH. M. D . PHYSICIAN k SITtOEON,
I • Oflieo on Bridge Street, next Jo.ir to the Deme
rit Office, Tunkhannoek, Pa.
fjARVEY SICK I,EH. ATTORNEY AT LAW
□L and OBNKRAL INSURANCE AGENT- Of
ye. Bridge street, opposite Wall's Hotel, Tunkhun
p.-k Pa.
T. YJV. RIRSOAUS, ZVE. ZD.,
j Graduate of the University of Pain a.)
Respectfully offers his profes-innvil servieer to the
titens of Tunkh mno k and vicithty. lie can be
a* i. when not prof--si..nally enmsceil. either t his
rug Store, -or at his resideuc-e on Putnm. Street.
Mt.I.C.CORBETJU. HAVING LOCAT-
J ED AT THE FALLS, WILL promptly attind
II calls in the line of bis j;r.fe> ion—way be found
I Bet-ii'.er's Hotc!. whin.'..: prefewtooajly abs-.nt.
Falls, Oct. 10. Ic'Oi.
f DR. J: C BECKER A: Co ~
PHYSICIANS .Si SURGEONS,
Would respectfully jnn-iia -e to the citizens of VTv
ning that they have lo< ft iat Mela >; my, where
icy will promptly utter 1 '<> all calls in (he line of
leir profession. May be fi nd at his Drug Storo
heu not professionally a! -cut.
Mm CAREY ,M* I).— (Gi the g|
* M. Institute, Cincinnati) would respectfully
iCwtince to the citizens of Wyoming and Luzerne
lainties, that he e uitinnes his regular practice in the
irinus departments of his professhm. May ne found
ihii offi.-c or residence, when not professionally ab
int
Iff Particular attention given to the treat meet
Chronic Discus
mtremorelunf, Wvouiing Co. Pa.—\2ri2
WALL'S HOTEL7
LATH AMERICAN HOUSE/
rUNLUANWOCK, WYOMING CO., PA.
"HIS establishment has recently been refitted and
■ furnished in the latest st vl-e Every attention
II be given to the comfort arid convenience of those
io patronize the Iloue.
T. B. W ALL, Owner and Proprietor,
lunkhannovk, Septeni'-i r 11, l-iil.
ORTTH BRANCH HOTEL,
MESHOPPEX, WYOMING COUNTY, PA
ILEY WARMER, Prop'r.
TNG resumed the proprietorship of the above
*- Hotel, the undersigned will -pure no effort to
i <er the house ari agreeable place of sojourn for
"Uo may favor it with their custom.
RILEY WARNER.
September 11, IS6I.
MAYMBB'S HOTEL,
TfXKIIAXNpcK,
WYOMING COUNTY, PEXNA.
JOHN MAY N\ H I), Proprietor.
lAt [NO taken the Hotel, in the Borough of
1 Tunkhannoek, recently occupied l.y Kilev
rper, the proprietor respectfully will-its a share i!t
Wic patronage. The House has been thoroughly
wired, and the comforts an 1 accomodations of a
'~s Hotel, will be found by all who mav favor
win their custom. - nber 11. IR6I
M. GILAIAiN,
dentist. §
T . r M
T OILMAN, has permanently located in Tunk
ansr'ck Borough, and respectfully tenders his
wsdlonal services to the citizens of tliis place and
rounding country.
ado!v URK VAKRANTKD ' T0 GIVE SATIS
[ ff Office over Tutiia's Law Office, near the Pe,s
lee. '
Lec. 11, 1861.
HOWARD ASSOCIATION
HHILADELPIIIA. '
'the Relief of the Sick Distressed, afflicted vith
Virulent and Chroniet Diseases, and especially
Jorthe Cure of Diseases f the Sexual Organs
ledieal advice given gratis, by I he Acting Surgeon
J uable Reports on Spermatorrhoea or Seminu.,
lakness, anj other Diseases of the Sexual Organs !
ton the New Uehtediesemployed in the Dispcua,-
ent to the afilieted in sealed letter envelope f-.e
iharge. Two or three stamps for postage will be
|y>table. Address, Dr. J. SKILLIN HOUGH
*qhting Surgeou, Howard Association, N'soly
Dl h street, Philadelphia l'a, ln2oly.
LME FOP. FARXXRS, AS A FERTILIZE
, FWRS LEAT VERNOY 'S.
Ptrhojipcn, Sept. 18.1861.
|)ocfs Corner.
The following stanzas were sent us by a lady who
resides in " Ole Virginny." She assures us, that,
though like " Tray," she may have been " caught in
bad company," there is not a disloyal thought in her
inkstand. Wo give them a place, being fu'ly satis
fied that our fair correspondent is heartily in fur the
Union —we hope " DAN" is too.
[Written for the DEMOCRAT.]
* DAW
BY MERIBA A. BABCOCK.
Dan is a jovial fellow,
And Dan is gay. dashing and bold,
He always " IOOKS out" for the ladies,
No matter how young or how old!
In short, he's the qualifications,
(I'll say it of all when Jean,)
To make him the greatest of mortals,
A high-hearted, whole-hearted man.
His pockets know never a famine,
They leak but they leak at the top!
A fault that few people complain of,
(1 know one or two who do n>t,)
So all the young cousins at Christmas
March up to his room to a man,
And smile as each grasps the bright quarter,
Held out by his dear " cousin Dan "
Dan travels way down in Secessia.
Has seen all the mules and a—bare
And desolate region of country
As ever he saw anywhere;
He says that one buck of Ohio
Is worth a plantati n of mules,
But Dan never earned how to reckon"
According to secession rules!
Hewcarssonv ''l r issstraps" on h'sshoulde.S,
Wears long-legged boots and all that,
But still he retains all his senses!
He knows how to relish a chat. ,
With all the fine follows about him'
Is bound to enjoy all he can,
And all the '•goo i boys" in camp hail fc'un
By no ether title than " It an."
lie always speaks well of the ladies,
(I know he'il speak well of his wife !)
I wonder he should have staved single
These many long days of his li e.
But -rhen this gren' conflict is over,
And Peace shall he stayed in her flight.
Should there be a great rnsti to the Union,
Why. Dan will hr forced to unite !
Select Ston.
•o
j Keeping School at Dean Dor*
OUgii.
BY CAROLINE E. PRESTON.
Delightful task, to re-.r the tend i thought,
And teach the yo_:.g i lea how to shoot.
I was a school ma'am once, or tried to be,
; and I am a going to tell you all about it
i This was the way it happened. I had an un-
I cle who lived in a New Hampshire village,
j who used to call on us on his way to Boston
J once a year. On one of these occasions he
happened to mention that he was Prudential
Committee of his district, and he was in
search of a female teacher.
Now I had an idea that I could manage a
school a good deal better than ant- of the
teachers who had ever taught me, and I said
: eagerly, " I wish you'd engage me to teach
school, Uncle Joshua."
" You," said my mother, opening her eyes
wide with astonishment. " Why you ain't
but a little git! yourself.
" I'm most sixteen," I replied with an air
of dignity, '• and I guess 1 know enough to
teach a district school."
"No doubt, no doubt," said Uncle Joshua
but he added with a little uncertainty, "do
you think you can make the children mind ? '
L " I'il do it or die in the attempt," said I he
roically, feeling I suppose as Joan of Arc did
when she waved her sword at the head of her
army.
Well, the upshot of it was that after over
coming all the objections that were raised j
against my plan, I succeeded in obtaining
the appointment.
The school was to begin in two weeks.—
During that time I made hurried preparations,
informing my school companions—for I was
at that time attending school—with consider
able pomposity, that I had keen called to
take charge of a seminary in a distant town.
Uncle Joshua had advised me rather quizzi
cally to increase my stature by high heeled
shoes, and though I scouted the suggestion
at the time, I concluded to adopt it.
At length all preparations were made, and
I started one bright morning en route for the
town of Beanborough. I traveled all day,
and in the evening reached uiy uncle's house
where I was to pass the night, and devote
the next day to being examined to ascertain
if I was properly qualified, and to installing
myself in a boarding place. I forgot to men
tion that I was to board round—this and a
dollar a week constituting my compensation
for teaching.
As to the examination T needn't dwell up
on that. I had no difficulty in "passing"
and obtaining a certificate from the Commit
tee, of my fituess to engage in tho responsi
ble task of instructing the urchins of the
Stump district in Beanborough. The district
derives its name from an immense stump on
ly a few rods to the west of the school house.
Next morning Uncle Joshua drove me
over to Mrs. Bumstead's where I wsu to
board the first week. The house did not
look particularly neat. There was a hog
wallowing t in a drain over which 1 had to
step, and everything inside and outside seem
ed to he at sixes and sevens.
" This is my neice, the new school ma'am,
Mrs. Bumstead," 6aid Uncle Joshua. " I be
lieve she's to board at your house first"
"TO SPEAR HIS THOUGHTS IS EVERY FREEMAN'S RIGIIT."-Thomas Jefferson.
TUNKHANNOCK, PA., WEDNESDAY, FEB. 25, 1863.
" Well, I expect 60," said the lady, lean
ing on her broom handle. " Tain't at all
convenient, but then it never is, and as long
as its got to be gone through with, I don't
know but it might as well be, first as la6t."
This was not a very cordial reception, and
I felt a little uncomfortable, as Uncle Josh
ua took off my trunk, and conveyed it into
the house.
" We hain't no spare room, Miss What's
your name," proceeded my hostess, but I
guess you can sleep between Roxana and
Hannah Jane. You ain't any of you very
big."
These two girls were about ten years of
age, and stood by with dirty faces and dis
hevelled hair.
I groaned inwardly at the idea of sleeping
three in a bed with such companions, but
thought it would be of no use to remonstrate.
At lust, quarter of nine came, and I start
ed with the two girls who were to be my
scholars, for the school house. Instead "of
an elegant rustic building, 1 found myself
approaching a dilapidated edifice—which had
been a shoe-shop, but bad been
bought cheap for the use of the district.—
Some of the window panes had been broken
and their places supplied with old hats and
other equally elegant substitutes.
A disorderly group were standing in front
of the building.
" There's the school-ma'am," shouted one,
and after a prolonged stare which confused
me somewhat, they rushed tumultuously in
to the school house. I followed them with
as much dignity as I could assume. -Just as
I got in, two boys were clinching each other
in the back part of the room, and evidently
preparing for active hostilities.
I didn't feel halfso courageous as T thought
I should. Although these boys were not
more than eleven or twelve, I had no doubt
that they were either of them stronger than
myself, and it was in rather a faint tone thai
I told them to stop, and inquired into the
cause of their hostilities.
" Jim Lynch has gnt my scat," said one
glancing defiantly at the other.
' 'Tain't his'n ; it's mine," responded the
other.
" I'll leave it to any of the boys," said the
I second.
Otr referring it to the boys, each scented
to be backed by about an equal number of
supporters, and in my perplexitv, I knew
; not what to do.
! At last I bribed Jim Lynch to give up the
j seat, and comparative peace was restored.
This effected, I rang the bell ml proceeded
! to make a little speech which 1 had carefully
; written out and committed. The scholars
did not seem very attentive, and signs of un
j easiness induced me to cut it short.
During the forenoon I noticed the scholars
watched me pretty sharply, to notice what
kind of a teacher 1 we- likely to prove. They
were comparatively tranquil, and i felt en
couraged.
1 At twelve o'clock, I re-turned to my board
ing house for dinner.
1 had nothing but fried pork and potatoes,
and some Very hard, indigestible brown
bread.
" It's washing day to-day," said Mrs. Bum
stead, and " and we never calculate to get
much of any dinner washing day."
I incautio-Jsly sat down in a chair on which
some milk had been spilt, which did not at
all improve the looks of the black silk which
I bad foolishly put on for my inauguration
da}'.
" You'll have to look out next time," said
Mrs. Bumstcad in a tone which did not con
vey much consolation.
I did not relish my dinner, which in fact 1
had hardly, time to swallow, as afternoon
school commenced at one.
The next morning on entering school, I
found the scholars more than usually quiet,
although some of them seetned to be tittering
about something. However, tins did not par
ticularly attract my attention, though I heard
a faint noise somewhere in the neighborhood
of in}' desk, but did not know what it was.
Unsuspiciously I proceeded to open the
desk as usual, when out tlew a hen, striking
me in the face, and startling me so as to elicit
a scream of terror.
This convulsed all the scholars with laugh
ter and filled tne with indignation.
" Who did this ?" I exclaimed.
No reply.
" If some one does not tell I shall be oblig
ed to whip you all round."
Upcn this one of the small children, terri
lied by the threat, answered, "Jimmy Foote
did it."
I instantly determined to make an example
of the offender who had so outraged my dig
nity, in case he should prove not too large
for me to undertake to whip.
" James Foote, come here J" I called out
with severity.
No oue stirred.
" James Foote, como hero this instant," I
called again, stamping my foot angrily.
The scholars began to titter again, which
increased my anger.
" Will any scholar point out Jatnes Foote?"
I exclaimed as a last resort.
" Jim Foote ain't here. lie went home be
ore you came," volunteered the same scholar,
who had informed me of tho boy's delinquin
cics.
Of course nothing could be done after this
and I determined to let the matter pass until
lie should appear.
The scholars behaved very badly that mor
ning. There was a constant whispering.—
None of them knew their lessons, and the
Spirit of Discord seemed to be let loose
among them.
I couldn't help wishing sincerely that I
had never undertaken to be a teacher, finding
it not quite so easy or pleasant as I had an
ticipated.
Just at the moment when Peter Andrew
had stuck a pin into Ephram Phillips, and
make him shriek with pain, and while two
of the boys were standing in opposite corners
with foolscaps on their htads, in walked
Squire Humphries, chairman of the School
Committee.
I think he was a little appalled at the scene
of confusion which presented itself. At any
rate 1 was appalLd at the sight of my visitor.
" I have come to see how you are getting
along," said the squire,
" 1 am glad to see you," said I with more
politeness than truth.
In my confusion I took out my handker
chief to wipe the perspiration from my face,
but unluckily [ had used it ouly a few min
utes before, for the Vant of something better,
to wipe off the ink from my desk, the ink
stand having tipped over. Of course it was
completely moist with ink, and my face after
the application of the handkerchief must have
presented a ludierious appearance.
At any rate the scholars perceiving it burst
into an uproarious laugh, some of them even
throwing themselves on the floor, and rolling
round in the excess of their delight.
Squire Humphries at first frowned indig
natly, but when he caught sight of my face,
lie could not resist the infection, but burst
into a laugh so hearty that it brought tears
to his eves.
Not understanding the cause of the mirth.
I thought they* had all gone mad unt*'l I chan
ced to look at the handkerchief, when my
misfortune was revealed to me.
| Squire Humphries apologized when he re
covered from his mirth, but my mortification
was such that I determined to send in my
resignation as school ina'atn at once. It was
i accepted, and I left Beanborough the next
day, with forty cents in my pocket—being
j compensation for two of the hardest day's
work I ever attempted. After deducting
from this amount my expenses to and from
Boston, I catue to the conclusion that school
teaching wasn't very profitable.
- -r csmaHRRRHRHRnRi
lijtdlaneous.
\w~-— x
THEY ARE SLEEPING.
Yes, they are sleeping, a long dreamless
Jeep, from which they will never awaken.—
Sleeping far away from mother and home, far
from wife and children, from brother and sis
ter, and the fair gentle girl whose cheek has
faded like the rose when the chilling blasts
of Autumn sweep over it, waiting for the
coming of the loved one.
Perhaps it has not been long since they
left home to go forth to battle for the , right;
yet what a length of time, what an endless
eternity it seems to the anxious hearts at
home ! How eagerly they watch the post
for the coming letter, and how disappointed
thry are if it fails to arrive at the expected
time. Then comes the news of a great bat
tle, great loss of life, glorious victory. Ea
gerly they grasp the paper, but the words all
run together—there is a mist before their
eyes.
" Ilerc, Mary, you read this," says a mo
ther whose son is in that battle; "my eyes
are not as good as tbey used to be."
But 'tis not her eyes ; 'tis the terrible fear
that is gnawing at her heart, that makes her
eye-sight fail her. Mary reads the list of the
wounded. He is not there. A sigh of relief
escapes the mother's bosom as they look
down the list of the killed.
" lie is not there, thank God !" cries the
mother, bursting into tears.
But, stop ! here is his name, and just oppo
site to it the word " missing." Missing !
Crawled away, perhaps, to some lonely spot
after being mortally wounded, to escape the
scorching rays of the sun. He is left to die
alone and uncared for ; or, worse still, taken
captive, to languish in some lonely prison,
shut out from the glad sunlight and life giv
ing air that our God has so bountifully pro
vided for all, to die, perhaps, at last!
" Sleeping ! Yes in the lonely swamps, on
the broad prairies, thousands are sleeping ;
some stricken down by disease, wasting with
fever, dying, indeed, martyrs to the cause
they loved so well, yet not without the con
soling thought that they had fallen bravely
on the battle field.
All along the blue Potomac they are sleep
ing ; by pleasant streams and grand old for
ests, that togeiher chant solemn dirges around
their resting places, while the stars -keep
mournful watch over them at night.
And they will sleep on till the last roll-call
is sounded—then there will be a grand awak
ening—a terrible uprising in judgement against
those traitors who, to serve their own base,
ambitious euds, have brought such desolation
and destruction upou our once prosperous
aud happy land.
A TRAITOR CONGRESS AND A TRAI
TOR PRESIDENT.
Thad. Stevens, the leader of the adminis
tration party in Congress, in a recent speech
before that body, on the establishment of a
new State within the territory of Virginia,
used the following language :
" I say, then, that we may admit West
Virginia as a new State, not by virtue, of any
provision of the Constitution , but under abso
lute power which the laws of war give us in
the circumstances in which we are placed. I
shall vote for this bill upon that theory, and
upon that alone ; for I will not stultify myself
by supposing that we have any wirr ant in
the Constitution for tliis proceeding.
This talk of restoring the Union as it was
under the Constitution as it is, is one of the
absurdities which 1 have repeated, until 1
have become about sick of it. This Union
can never be restored as it was. There are
many things which render such an event im.
possible. This Union shall never with my
consent be restored under the Constitution as
it is, with, slavery lo be protected by it."
No one doubts that this is the sentiment
and the programme of the administration.
We are told, "this Union shall never be re
stored under the Constitution as it is," We
have not for a long time doubted that such is
the determination of Mr. Lincoln and the
whole party in power. Hut had tlicy announ
ced their real designs in the beginning, they
could have never raised a respectable army
for such a purpose—Mr. Lincoln has no right
to call soldiers into the field for such an ob
ject. And unless he backs squarely down
from this unconstitutional use of the army)
where will hefget another soldiers ? Will the
States of New Jersey and New York permit
any men to be drafted from the militia, for
an object which is a confessed violation of the
Constitution and the laws ? The ol.jects for
which the State militia may be called into the
service of the Federal Government, are ex
pressly named and carefuly limited by the
Constitution. If the President attempts to
use the militia for unconstitutional purposes
it is clearly the duty of the States to recall
their troops from the field, and to refuse to
allow any further drafting, until the adminis
tration returns to the Constitution and the
laws. It is within the power of State
Executives and Legislatures to force a usurp
ing President to abandon such a career of
crime, by withholding and withdrawing the
State troops. A Governor who should allow
the citizens of his State to be dragged into
the army for the avowed purpose of destroy
ing the Union as it was, and the Constitu
tion as it is, would be sure, in the end, to re
ceive the execration and curses of the people,
and would finally fall into the same hated
page of history with the obscene joker, who
thus abuses the confidence and the patriotism
of a loyal people. The outj* of the Governor
is plain. They are to promptly respect all
constitutional requirements of the Feder.A
administration. But they are not to obey
an unlawful demand. Suppose the President
should issue an order for drafting th& troops
of New Jersey, for the avowed purpose of
abolishing the marriage laws in the State of
Pennsylvania. Would such an order be obey
ed by the State of New Jersey ? No, it
would be resisted even to the point of the
bayo net, if it came to that. But we are told
there is rebellion against the laws of the Un
ion ; but it is not lawful to call them out to
destroy the Union. But we have satisfied
ourselves that we can not enforce the laws of
the Union. And so you have made up your
minds to destroy the Union! Because ycu
find you are not strong enough to administer
all the laws of the Constitution, you have de
termined to destroy that sacred instrument
altogether ! Because some deluded men say
—we wish no longer to live within thejtem
pie of the Union, you have set yourselves to
work to pull tho whole temple down so that'
nobody shall over live in it any more ! That
is your position, O ye Catalines of Congress !
Shall we send our sons to fight to destroy
the Union and the Constitution, because some
have proclaimed that they are tired of living
under their protection ? No, we will not.
There must be another kind of legislation in
Congress—another kind of proclamation from
the hand of our law-defyiug and grammar
despising President—before States which are
truly loyal to the Government of our fathers
will 6end more troops into the field. We
have been told by the apologists for Mr. Lin
coln, that the radical, traitor Governors have
coerced the President to do wrong. Then let
the conservative, loyal Governors coerce him
back again to do right. If the radical trai
tors would not suffer State troops to move
forward until the President came out with a
series of unconstitutional proclamations, let
the conservative patriots withhold their for
ces until those unconstitutional/schemes are j
abandoned. If, as wo have been told, this
wretched man, the President has been forced
to proclaim against the Constitution, let him,
by all means, be forced to re-proclaim in its
favor. If rascals have compelled him to do j
wrong let honest men compel him to do
right. If the President is an honest man, lie
will rejoice to be forced out of the clutches of
the disunion radicals. If he does not agree
with the Chairman of his Committee of Ways
and Means, when he says—"J/ic Union shall
never, with my consent, beiestored under the
Constitution as it is," let him come out by
<r
I TERMS: 81.80 1P331T Aiynvrrrmr
proclamation and say so, and wo shall bo
among the first to rush to his support, in er
ery lawful endeavor to restore the Union un
der the Constitution as it is. ... •
But on the other hand if ho agrees with.
Mr. Stevens, that the " Union shall never bo
restoied under the Constitution," let us look
to see who will dare to move any further to
aid him in his work of treason and destruc- .
tion. Let us begin to prepare epitaphs of et-,
ernal shame for the toinbs of the traitors who.
dare lift up their hands, with Abraham Lin
coln and his fellow-conspirators, against the
Union and tho Constitution ! The terrible
Danton once thundered into the French
Assembly: " Room, there ! Room in Hell
Jor MaxamUliun Robespierre ! —Read, O >
conspirators, your epitaph The Old Guard
BUYING APPLES OP A SECESH WO
MAN.
A correspondent of the Chicago Evening
Journul tells the following good story, rela
tive to our troops trading with an Arkansas
woman: "Confederate money is the only
thing that can be used here, except specie.
' Greenbacks' wont go; the people think
them worth less than the paper they are
printed on. It i 3 truly astonishing to sea j
what confidence they have in their rebel',
shinplasters, One morning, some of our sol
diers went to the house of a wealthy citizen
(rebel,) to purchase apples. The lady re-,
plied that she would not take our money in
payment, nor would she sell to " Fed."—
This blocked the game, and the large pile of
fine apples iu the cellar remained untouched. .
But an idea struck one of the boys, and he
resolved to have some apples by strategy.—*
The general had given orders that nothing in
the house should be molested ; hence strate
gy must be resorted to. One of the Boldiera
was stripped of his uniform and clothed in.
the secesh garb of " butternut." A small
pile of confederate shinplasters in his pocket
properly prepared him for the enterprise.—
Two soldiers with fixed bayonets, mar:hed
him to the kind lady's house as a prisoner.
The prisoner then told his tale of suffering,
not only of himself, but of his companions and
prisoners. The good lady S3 r mpat'nized deep- ~
ly with him, and 6old a bushl of apples for
fifty cent shin plaster. The prisoner shoul
dered the apples, and the guard marched
him into camp. The strategy worked, and
the boys a:e now doing a thriving business
with fifty cent shier "fflaalera, and manufac
tured prisoners, to the complete conquest of
t.ie rebel apple pile. How long before the
old lady willsmell a rat" is yet to be seen,"
-
KISSING—" HUMAN NATURE."
When a wild spark attempts to 6teal a
kiss from a Nantucket girl, she says, " Sheer
<;tT, or I'll split your mainsail with a typhoon.'*
The Boston girls hold stiff until they are
well kissed, when they Hare up all at once,
and say, '* I think you would be ashamed."
When a young chap steals a kiss from an
Albany girl, she says, " I reckon its my turn
now," and gives him abo 2on the ear that
he don't forget in a month.
When a clever fellow steals a kiss frotn a
Louisiana girl, ehe smiles, blushes deeply,
and says nothing.
In Pennsylvania, when a female is saluted
with a buss, she puts on her bonnet and
shawl, and answereth, "I am astonished at
thy assurance, Jebadiah, and for this indig
nity will sew thee up.
The Western ladies, however, are so fond
of kissing, that when saluted on one cheek,
they instantly present tbc ether.
The Sag Harbor girls tussals and scratch
es till out of breath, when she submits to
her fate with the most examplary fortitude
and resignation, without a murmur.
Life's Happiest Ferio;>. — Kingsley gives
his evidence on this disputed point. lie thus
declares : "There is no pleasure that I have
experienced like a child's midsummer holiday
—the time I mean, when two or threo of ua
used to go away up the brook, and take our .
dinners with us, and come home at night
tired, dirty, happy, scratched beyond recogni
tion, and ona shoe, the other having been used
for a boat, till it had gone down with al[ 1
hands out of soundings. How poor our Derby
days, our Greenwich dinners our evening par
ties, where there are plenty of nice girls,
after that! Depend upon it, a man never
experiences such pleasures of grief after four
teen as he does before unless, in some cases,
in his tirst love-making, when the sensation
is new to him."
SLNSIBLE ADA ICE.
Professor Silliman, of New Haven, recently
closed a Smithsonian lecture by giving the
following sensible advice to young men -
" If therefore, you wish for a clear mind and
strong muscles, and quiet nerves, and long lite,
and power prolonged in old age, permit me tu
say, although I am not giving a temperance
lecture, avoid all drinks above water and
mild infusions of that fluid, shun tobacoo
opium, and everything else that disturbs the
moral state of the system ; rely upon nutri
tious food, and mild d.luted drinks, of which
water is the base, and you will need nothing
beyond moral regulation of all your pewen,
to give you long, happy and useful lives and a
serene evening at the close."
VOL. 2, N0.29.