MllXDLEBUEG POoxV
HIGHER CULTURE ON THE FARM
.Oor Mary Jane has leon to school (Khe
calls It "Kemale ColIeae" i
To (rt the hansr of lanKunws and other
kleils o' knowledi;.-;
, -r.ii.d uml s:iv-'l to put her where
. thuucM It l-st wntilil pay.
Her nioil.tr M;;l;!ri; hatter; hrr daddy
rj'k'nit hay:
IV e m-iit li-t for n four-your term, we
Willlt.'ll tl " tO Ri l
Edill.-rii'inml mix-art vies fhe has 'em,
y-i'l can ttet.
She's l.-arm-d a heap of othrr things (It'a
Hum that mnkt' the fnssl:
Bhe nl.'t ei:;!i-nt t' know herself, but
w.i K-i tn tearh to us.
Slnee Vary Jane's heen hnme from sehool
'. -.'il si.irofly know the plaee:
The ulil-iiine parlur fixings has Kt their
"K nil le Krare;"
The sanplcr that my mother worked, the
ha!r wreaths that sister made.
The mw rau earpet Mamly sewed (she'd
harely put It laiill.
The hair rloth sofa, ehalrs to match
I hey till hail K"t to so.
Tor Mary .lane i. i-t.)i-d they were scaree-
ly "eniam eel fnw;"
The in w :.rslialrcs of shells and beads
(they tiink a year to make),
But tin e re tuinlsheil to the garret, for
"higher c.iltsliureV sake.
.line's been home from
'twimlil puzzle any man
tlilnirs we K-t to eat, and as
1 swan
I talile without oITerltiR up a
Ret to II
tner's fare,
-juns" and the
dee over" too,
as satlsfyliiR as a
IVell. they'll feed
entries,
the
pork and
nines." tho
Biiire Mar
sehool
To name t'
for in .
1 never pi n
, pravr
That when I
me fa
For the i
"horse
'Ain't mar
turnip stew:
And the "trifles" and the
. Jellies and the eake,
Don't fill a feller like the pies that Han
dy used to make.
Jknd then attain our manners, they mayn't
tie "up to snuff."
Rut still for me an' Mamly they was al
ways nooil enouKh;
B it Mary Jane. "Lord bless us!" finds
fault from morn till tilKlit!
There 'alnt a thins wu do or say we
In or say It rlitht.
.It's true we iirmiKht It on ourselves, and
yet It s awful sad.
rtn Hear worn out with HstenltiB. and
Mamly's Just as bad.
Some day If we drop off the pereh. Just
write It on our Brave:
."They died from 'blither ctiltshure' and
a'li at tilntt to behave."
Helen Combes. In N. Y. Sun.
WHEN THE PLOT
THICKENED.
Iiis ii!, 'a with
a
w .
nl'lH.KV cxplainei
jj enthusiasm.
"Somct hilt"; is bound to conic of
il," be said. "We will exchange mail
fitir one week. You must read my
'letters ami answer them as it they
were your own, without consulting
nie, or even tolling me their con
tents, uml J will do the same with
jours, lly following up this misfit
correspondence I'll be Htire to get
mint
."yttlMj ntvii. ,- druwlcn
fBnt what do I get?"
"The satisfaction of seeing rn"
uike a stake with ail original sto'
ami possibly a check, if thut o . a
a,uent liostim linu comes to time."
tlrnnt pondered the proposition
doubt f ully.
"H's a cray notion," lie said, at
k-nglli, "but since I jret scarcely any
until up tow u except launiit y bills nnil
circulars from local I radcMiien, the
rliaticcs of your prying into any o:
my secrets seem exceedingly slim, so
1 siipj'ie-c I can safely accommodate
toil When do you wish to put the
vi stem into operation?"
"To-morrow morning, if you're
willing," said Dudley. "My imagina
tion seems to be atllictcd with a most
aggraxatcd case of dry rut these
days, and the sooner I get to work
on a plot from real life the better."
At no delivery on the following day
enj there any letters of impor
tance for either of the friends, but
ill the ten o'clock mail on the second
morning there was a letter addressed
tit (irant that promised interesting
Jesuits. The envelope bore unmis
takable earmarks of feminity, and in
pite of their agreement Dudley hesi
tated before opening it.
"It. seems hardly fair to the girl,"
he thought. "Still"
lie looked across the t'irle at
(mint, who had finished his break
fast and was smiling over u commu
nication to Dudley from the ponder
ous I'ios ton firm.
That settles if." growled Dud
ley, "lie's got the check, confound
htm. mi 1 might as well get even by
making the most of this innoeeu'
little note."
The letter was written in a sprawl
intr. fashionable hand, and covered
several pages, liefore he was half
way through Dudley perceived that
be had been precipitated into the
thick of n plot far more uniipie than
nv he hud counted on discovering.
"My dear Henry." the letter ran.
'After many months of hard work
t have come to the conclusion that
the editing of the papers left by my
'a.te husband, (icn. McKccver. is too
ig a job for me to finish alone, and
1 have decided to plaee them in the
ands of some trustworthy literary
ian who will do justice to the gen
tral's memory. The question is,
rb"iTi f1t.11 T employ? I wish you
would advise me. 1 know that you
ave a large acquaintance among
writers, and it has occurred to
ae that yon might lie able to recom
mend, some person for the place.
From our previous conversations on
the subject, yon arc tolerably well
aware of the nature of the data left
lay the general, and consequently you
-will know what qualifications ore es
sential in the man who undertakes to
ftsash the book. The payment will ' '"r
lus- very liberal, and whoever accepts
Ihe position can well afford to lay
aid i) all other work whilo engaged
S this. Kind; give the matter your
earnest attention, and advise me at
aoon as you have made a choice.
Yours sincerely,
LI" ELLA M'KEEVER.
"Hawthorne Apartments, Septem
ber 2."
Dudley read the letter several
times. Even after he knew it ly
heart he kept on reaamg it. I'r-.-s-entlv
ttrant started down town, nnl
then lie made preparations for an
swering It.
"She's the same old I-uella," he
ninsed. iver ink and notepaper. "I've
been thinking ever since 1 heard that
the general was dead that I would
look her up and see if she were as
sweet and pretty as she used to be.
This is an unparalleled opportunity.
It's a blessing I made that contract
with (irant. lie wouldn't have rec
ommended me in n hundred years,
but I shall have no hesitancy in rec
ommending myself. Luella refused
me once, in another capacity, and
she may refuse me now in this, but
I certainly shall not fail through
want of endeavor."
Cram's wns an easy hand to imi
tate, and after a couple of hours'
practice Dudley flattered himself
that, his writing would pass muster
before anybody less skilled than an
expert. That feat accomplished, he
wrote to Mrs. McKeever.
"My dear Luella," he said. "1 am
very glad that you consulted me in
retrard to a competent literary man
to finish editing the general's pa
tiers, because it gives me a chance to
recommend a man whom I think re
markably well fitted for the post
Clarence Dudley is the man I mean.
You have no doubt heard his name
mentioned frequently of late, for ho
has been doing some very creditabh
work. Dudley is a particular friend
of mine. 1 have known him intimate
ly for many years, and have always
found him the right sort. 1 have
never known a man whom 1 liked so
well. He is, by all odds, the best
friend I ever had, and if you can sec
your way clear to trusting him with
vonr book von will be conferring a
favor upon mc personally. Asid?
from his sit tributes as an all-round
; , -, fellow, Dudley is so xxr
lioiied mentally that I feel sure
iii ,
lie would give excellent satisfaction
and I hope you can strike a bargain
with him. Let me know nt once what
von think of mv selection. If your
I decision is favorable, I will have Dud-
lev call on you, and you can settle
the matter to suit yourselves. Yottr.,
"IIENKY CHANT."
Dudley did not view this clTusion
with unalloyed pride.
"It is pretty fulsome praise to sing
lit one's own funeral," In: comment
ed. "If:
I am tin
she will i
escciit to
ceased h''
to say t:
If he
itv woul..
"ant uiu not
1 ins that night.
liould ever find out that
lilhor of the panegyric
ainly think me too cfTer-:-ite
a history of her de-
I. 1 must warn Henry
..g nbout our compact.
! give me away, my van
rtninly prove fatal."
He sent word that
Mrs. McKeever was plainly nervou
through the preliminary handshaking;
when they met on Saturday after
noon, but Dudley had braced himself
for the occasion and
self as became the literary trustee of rj
a noted general. H
"I must confess," said airs, jite-
Keever, "that I was astonished wheu
Henry Grant proposed your name aa
an accomplished historian. I did not
know that you aspired to lame In
that direction. Furthermore, I didn't
know that you and Henry were such
close friends."
'Oh, yes," said Dudley, carelessly.
"I've known Grant for years."
"So he tells me. He seems very fond
of you. I really did not know it was
possible for one man to care so much
for another. I hope that you are
equally devoted to him. His praise of
you is unstinted, lie says tnat you
are the best fnenu he ever had and
that he likes you better than anybody
else in the world."
"Does he?" murmured Dudley.
"Dear old Hank!"
"And, besides, he is so very proud
of your literary achievements. If I
didn't know Henry to be such a level
headed fellow I should accuse him of
gushing. I should be afraid that his
judgment had been warped by tho
heat of friendship and that his rec
ommendation was not entirely reli
able. However, I have decided to
take his advice, and if you are will
ing to to enter upon the probation
which I explained to him would be
required of you why"
She shifted her eyes uneasily. Dud-
lev felt that he had skated safely
over the thinnest parts of his duplici
ty, ami he filled up the pause buoy
antly. "Now, see here, Luella," lie said,
"you ought to know pretty well how
I feel about the matter. I put the
question to you six years ago, and
jou turned me down most beauti
fully. I swallowed the dose, I flatter
myself, with fairly good grace, but I
kept on thinking of you pretty con
stantly, even after yon married Gen.
XI .. l...u, nt nri ii'nnt i CliwoiiTO f n
lue. l:ftr since you ve neen singto
again I've been aching to sound you
on the subject, but 1 felt rather
afraid of you and thought I'd better
go slow. 1 want you, Luella, and I
want to write the general's biog
raphy. Are you willing to let it go
at that?"
"Yes," sighed Mrs. McKeever; "if
you're satisfied. I am."
In the first thrill of victory Dudley
felt that the only way he could hon
orably square himself was to confess
his double dealing. Many limes in
the course of the afternoon he was
on the point of making a clean brenst
of it, but modesty always forbade.
"If I hadn't spread it on so thick In
my own behalf I shouldn't mind," he
argued. "Since I did, 1 think I'd bet
ter let things go ns they are. I'd feel
pretty sneaking to have her know
that I blew my own horn so loudly."
Grant came home that evening, but
Dracea nunseii 3 "V
acquitted him- a Take Laxative Bromo Quimns relets. fZ J
rary trustee of rj wmMU,fa,tMUtia morfSa. Th -rr??rrr. IQ. W, ?!
Seven MSBoa boxes told in past 13 norths.
Asked aad luntrrd.
He When poverty comes in at the
door what is it love does?
She Why, it flies out of the dic
ing room window, of course. Chi
cago Daily News.
JSo Aeroaatlna; fur Taatr.
Chollie She has promised to mur
ry me.
Mollie Well, some girls will marrj
any old thing Yt-nkers Stateman.
It has been found that a postal
clerk arrested for robbing the mails
has been carrying on his operations
for 20 years. In this case justice
seems not merely to have been leaden
footed, but to havi sat down.
IrOM ritpiMni,
The young man in the guise of an
3ld farmer was consulting his par
ticular girl, who was doing the for
tune telling act at the charity ba
zaar, and each had penetrated th
other's disguise.
"You love a fair maiden," she aid.
Inspecting his palm, "who will give
you a severe jolt when you propose
to her."
"Good heavens!" he exclaimed,
quickly recovering himself. "Then
hhe will accept me!" Chicago Tribune.
uir
j FURIITORE
are in nml of Furniture, Carpets,
Vii. j, Hugs, Oilcloth, Linoleum,) La,,
' 'til lilies. Window Sliades. Tiotn.o . .
i lilies, Window Shades, Picturi's
I V; n v Frames, give us a call. '(
suit von in
and
van
Prefer to Reninln.
ThoiiR-h ort we complain that this life l
unklmf,
That too much of Its hardship w e get.
After all, there ure very few anxious to
find
The tuslest way out of It yet.
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Stvle and in
Prices
Our stock is new and up-to-date. It ,
no trouble to show goods and quote pric
IiKl'AlKING neatly and promptly ,(,
Levisiowo Furniture Co,,
No. 12-14 Valley M. Felix B
1
I THEY VAHV.
!.e should be out of town for a day
or two, but that Dudley wns to stick
to their bargain and continue to an
swer his share of their mail, ns usual.
There was very little to answer, but
it made up in quality what it lacked
in quantity, for Thursday morning
brought another letter from Mrs.
McKeever.
"I was somewhat surprised at your
choice of literary executor," she
wrote, "1 knew Clarence Dudley sev
eral years ago, and have rather pleas
ant recollections of him, but I had
hardly thought that liis literary
qualifications are exactly what 1 re
quire. Still, you seem to be in n po
sition to judge him from every stand
point, and I will gladly grant him
an interview, liefore sending him to
me, however, there is one point that
I must make clear to you. I should
have mentioned it in my last letter,
but shrank from doing so. Hut it is
too important to be put oft longer.
It relates to the commands of lien.
McKccver. It was one of the provi
sion of his will that no one except
myself or my second husband should
write a line of his biography. Natu
rally, he preferred that I should do
it without assistance, but he was
not a jealous or a selfish man, and
he realized that I, being a young
woman. should probably marry
again. If 1 found the book too great
an undertaking to accomplish alone,
and decided to marry before its com
pletion, he expressly stipulated that
my husband should carry on the
work. So, you see, before entering
into a literary agreement with any
author I must come to an under
standing with him in regard to that
clause in the general's will. Yon will
see, my dear Henry, without fur
ther explanation, that my position ii
most awkward. 1'y the general'
commands I nm bound to see that the
book is put on the market, yet I am
unable to finish it myself, and am
constrained to seek help only from
some man at whose head I am virtu
ally bound to throw myself in mar
riage. For pity's sake, Henry, help
me over this difficulty. Kxplain the
situation to Mr. Dudley ns delicately
as yon know how. I think it much
better that you, rather than I. should
broach the subject. Then, if he docs
not positixely revolt, let him come to
see me. Yours.
I.lKf.T.A."
Dudley spent less than ten minutes
oil his reply to the second note.
"My dear Luella," he said. "Dud
ley tnulci-stands the situation
thoroughly. I must say that his re
membrance of yon seems to be ex
ceedingly vixld, and he Is anxious to
meet you again. Notwithstanding
frank criticism of his work, I
btill think him the very man for the
place, and if agreeable to you ho will
pall on you Saturda; afternoon at 3.
"-AUiiii. ;
p.iia,r wns too Iiiihv rionderimr over
the outcome of his epistolary enter
prise to say much to him. 'Just be
fore they went to bed he remembered
that he-must caution (irant to keep
their scheme a secret.
"Hy the way, (irant, you haven't
told anybody about our exchanging
letters, have you?" he asked.
Grnnt yawned. "No," said
"only one person, I told her
evening the plot wns hatched,
she doesn't count. She'll never
anything about it."
"She?" echoed Dudley. "Who is
she?"
"Oh. nobody but Luella McKeever.
She's ail right."
Dudley caught his drooping head in
both hands.
"(iood Lord." he said, "I've got a
plot, now, with a vengeance." X. Y.
Times.
he,
the
but
say
When the girls will they will, and
here is fresh proof of it: The cab
men of Kvansville, Intl., recently
formed a combine and advanced their
prices for taking a couple to the the
ater from one dollar to two dollars.
This led to the formation of a "gum
shoe" union on the part of the society
girls, who walked rather than pay the
price demanded. The business of the
cabmen fell off, and they had to go
back to the old prices. The girls are
now rejoicing over their victory, to
which they were helped by the sup
port of the traveling men, who were
affected by a corresponding increase
of other rates and had arranged to ask
the city council to puss an ordinance
establishing a uniform price for
cabs.
Li,.;luLUt&C. I.
When Jackaon Dined.
While the dinner hour still clings
to the noontide among country peo
ple it has advanced in the cities, un
til now it occurs nt any time bet wee
noon and midnight. And thnt re
minds me of the many stories about
Col. Davy Crockett. While lie was a
member of congress and was ut his
home in Tennessee, some one asked
hint about the dinner hour in Wash
ington. He said the common people
ate dinner at 12, the next above them
at 1, the merchants at 2, the repre
sentatives at 3, the senators at, 4,
members of the cabinet at 5, and tho
vice president at 6. "Hut when does
the president dine?" "What! Old
Hickory?" said Crockett, anxious to
fix a time thut would suit his Idea
of .lackson's crentness. "Well, he
don't ent till next day!" Montgom
ery (Ala.) Advertiser.
India-nil nt.
At a certain military post just
after "taps" one night a detail was
called for from one of the companies
to bring from the married quarters
to the guard house one of the men
who wns beating nnd nbnsing his
wife. The first sergeant of the com
pany called for Corporal Walters and
Privates Spicer and Carney to form
the detail. The first two immedi
ately rose from their cots and pre
pared for duty, but Carney was ap
parently sound asleep, although but
a moment before he had been swap
ping yarns with his "bunkie." The
sergeant orded Spicer to wake him,
when Carney got to his feet with the
disgusted protest:
"Why don't you wake some one
who isn't asleep?" X. Y. Times.
Sehool for Crime.
He I thought you used to have a
parrot ?
She We did.
"What became of it?"
"Dead."
"What was the matter?".
"Oh, we lived so close to the golf
links I guess the poor thing died of
envy." Yonkera' Statesman.
Daughter I don't want to marry
just yet. Td rather stay at school.
Mother You must rememoer,
dear, men do not wish clever w ives.
Daughter Rut all men are not like
papa. Chicago Daily News.
bapiain-cd. .-
Borne folk there be who cannot drop
Prolixity with pen and Ink;
'TIs plain they never think to top
Because they do not stop to think.
Washing-ton Star.
Giving Him an Incentive.
"I hope," taid the. girl'smother, after
the young millionaire had departed,
that you gave him proper encourage
ment." "Oh, yes," she replied. "I told him
1 was engaged to a man who wascray
to marry me the minute he got throug.ii
college." Chicago Kecord-Herald.
An Apprehenalon.
"There are good trusts and bad
trusts," said the hopeful man.
"Yes," answered the cheerless citi
zen; "but the bad ones nre accumu
lating so much profit and pi -.ver, that
I'm afraid it won't be lo:-. before
the good trusts are led into tempta
tion." Washington Star.
Her Opinion.
"You know I Intend to pay you,
Mrs. Hashley. 1, a theological stu
dent" "Yes, I know. I think you'd be
more likely to have the money if you
had some other kind of a job."
Puck.
.Nudiln). Accruing.
Granger 1 understand you have an
interest in the Sweatman mine?
Lamb 1 have an investment there;
but I have seen no interest on it up
to the present moment.-7-Uostou
Transcript. J
' Xn'lnaupVribia ObyHcU. "
After the accident the woman's mind
was made up.
"I cannot go to the hospital," she
said.
"Hut," urged her husband, "it is the
only thing to do. Modern surgery will
then have its full swing and your life
behaved."
Nevertheless she was firm.
"it cannot be," she said, faintly.
"Why, in my whole wardrobe there
isn't a night gown worth over $101"
Town Topics.
80 the s.
A mnn down In old Santa Fe
Is often suspiciously ge.
There are people who think
He Is given to drink,
But the fact Is It's-only his we.
Chicago Tribune.
Wtf&SE Til. IX A MGHTMARE.
A Stickler Abont Word.
City Chap (angrily) Look here!
Y'ou warranted this horse to me to
be entirely without faults, and now
I find he is stone blind!
Country Chap (cheerfully) Wa'al,
blindness ain't a fault; it's an af
fliction. Tit-Hits.
No Flatterer.
"They tell me your little boy looks
like you."
"Yes, everybody say so. Have
you seen him?"
"No, I don't think I care to see
him." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Cinch.
"Loozout is a lucky dog!"
"Why, he has failed at everything
he has tried."
"Yes, but he's lucky to have a
father-in-law to take care of him."
Brooklyn Life.
Nothing to Take Back.
Dissatisfied Customer Say, these
cigars are the vilest I ever smoked.
You said you'd guarantee theirquality.
Dealer I do, sir. I guarantee them
to be as good as any other two-cent
cigar in t he market. Chicago Tribune.
Dreaklng Up Housekeeping.
"I understand thnt Judge Brown U
breaking up housekeeping."
"That can't be. He's very busy
these days deciding divorce eases."
"Well, isn't that what I said?"
N. Y. Herald.
HIS I'htloaophr.
"Don't you think that you some
times overestimate the value of
money?" asked the friend.
"Mebbe," answered Senator Sor
ghum; "but it's just as well to Veep
oa the safe side." Washington .Star
iES-m---.. il
n 4 us ) 1 1 r
Special Cos
At the XKv$
We have decided t0
luction on all Indies
t lie holidays, su :k t,
kkIv a cliaiicc to Imv
eout Li-fore Cliristnu.
price. This sale
.. .1... V -II
io-ua. ie win siirprj
customers when tU
prices.
KemetnlRT, every c
new and the styles an.
Special bargains io ,
Coiniortables, Umlerwc
Goods. Come ip at
troublei to show gaodi
A fspjecially grand kf
j-vtfi.y't;i'ijl.oiJ
H: F. Cleii
446 Market St., SUM
Th ree doors east of the i
FURIII
Do you need any
If so, don't fail to t
store and get our pa
We can suit
style and
from the
est to the
grade.
"You look so haggard to-day, dear!
Did you have a bad night?
"Yes. dreadful! Only think,
dreamed that the dressmaker had
made my new dress with those old
fashioned pufT sleeves!" Unsere Ges-
ellschaft.
A Willi.
Let other wljh for coin and bonds
Kind fate I'd rreatly thank
It I could have a check book on
Some solid, hard coal bank.
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Woman's Queer Waya.
"A Chicago woman who is figuring in
a divorce case complains that her hus
band would go days at a time without
speaking to her."
"That's just like a woman. You'll
never Bear of a man going into court
for such a thing as that." Chicago
Kecord-Herald.
Hard wood, goWe.
I Only $1
Mattresses
2 Bedsprings
Good
Enom-
1 If.u'lrrrl.
I.n.r.l.' KIK-r
teimion Tbln. H
and Uo-art-
M.HARTMANFIJ
Ited-Letter Day.
Lawyer (to witness) Why are you
10 positive, Mr. Suburban, that the
event occurred on the date you men
tion? You might be mistaken.
Mr. Suburban Impossible, sir. It
was the day I didn't have to do any
shopping in town for my wife. Phila
(Telphia Inquirer.
Schroyer &
FIR
insuiM
1 a n icH j-iik"""': .j
hi i.i., ..ornil1 in
inrcBuiiiK I-"- j
mwr ...III 'H"!
v e are ceil""- ...j
panies to lfsue I 1
business at ourw-"!
office. MtIJ
a 11 Imiu nesfl llU"j
wM be promptly tt!l
or otherwise. .
OFFICE CHESTJ
In Schroyer'
or