MIDDLEBURG POST. uld You Think It? .1. think it possible that rou !tMisaPPOnte,, in the fmceof a worn. Perst womanly perfection and W, - hn the face turned to vou ihrnii Hicficritr- ing blotches and blemishes. In general the cause of these eruptions is im pure blood. Dr. Picrce'i Golden Medical Discovery puri fies the blood, and remove the corrupt ac cumulationt which cause disease. When is cleansed, pimples, tetter, kuoi. boils, sores, and other result 're blood, are perfectly and per- 3tir cured. Riti I Buffered with tht dreaded iSrma," write Mra. J. Korpp. of Her. .won ' wat ,ol1 10 l,r- nerce s 1 Mfdirtl DiKOvery. which I did, and af Uukrn fourteen bottlea I waa prrnia--i ii hu been rear wncc I Mouiied Lwor inediciiie and it haa never appeared r?Vhink your medicine a wonderful cure Li h nufferinit aa I did, will take it L of the most remarkable cures K by "Golden Medical Discovery," ,yrn oi stiuiuiuuo ! 1 fetever thank you for adviaing me to "L-.-. i-.nl.lrn Medical I)incovr Murnhv. of Fonda. Pocahontaa f it has cured rae of chronic arrolula Lrt teara' atanding. I had doctored for Cblf uotil I was completely diacouraged. , , diarrhea for twelve veara. I JL) health now better than I ever wa 4m owiuK to Dr. Pierce'a Golden Medical trr. i u' - " - xsrc I oppu.- Lw no substitute for "Golden Med klfoverv." There is nothing "just Ll" for diseases of the stomach, tree's rieasant Pellets cure dix- Lindsick headache. EflNSVLVAMtft HAILROAD. Lewistown Division. Iu effect May 25, 1902. STATIONS. KAHTWABO AM WlM I 909, 5 s?! P 4io 4 40 4S 27 4 30 i is al7 8 57 8 4 Siinbiiry SrllnKKrovu .1 unction M-liiimrrove 1'nwliiiK Krcainer Meiacr Alicl.llrhurK Hen fur llcavertown Heaver Sp'itura ltmiha Milla lcl lure WaKi:r Slntidle Painterville Maitland Iwlatown a l 8 471 8 40; M 8 -a 1 d is SH7 117 784 7 4 7 1V 733 7 10 8 44 8 3 8 2a 8 24 82u 8 1 8 8s 80o :Uwl'"wn(Mlii Street. UK Uwlstown junction. nleavesSauburyfiaO p ni, r- m at solinsgrove supm msSelin8Krove:00p. ni., arrives itSiiobury 6:15 p. m. ui leave Lew into wd Juuctiou : n,10 14 m, 1 10 p ra,130p m 4 37p m, 7 OTP f m, 12 36 a ul lor aiujoua, ruwuwiR ailtmr am' Wuhinfrtoa 80S am 9 80, ( 10 i in rorrniiaaeipnw mnn rw kilelpliia & Erie ft R Division. I AN II lORTHEKN PKNTKAI. RAILWAY a nni S'lliitgrovu Junction (telly for ir;n(l W'.-sl. jB,1858pra,4 52 p m. SiinUsy 48 a m, a. leave Sunbury dally except Sunday: mtorBiiu'ilo,! U a tn tor Krle and Can- ; DtorBellelonte Krle ana t;ananaaiKua m lor Look Haven, Tyrone and the VVeM,. b m lor B'i!T.ilo, 1 13 p in for Hellelonto ryrone and t'anandaiaua n lot keD'ivo and Klmira igrWillliimMpol't ky i jt a m for BulTiilo via En porlum. Ui wr IC, 3 IV a IU lur m iv "' 864 P m lor Vll n for Lwk Haven and tort X Vi a in 2 00 an4 525pm lor Wllkea ind Hazelton i lo 10 a iu, 2 08 u m, 5 85 p m lor Shamo- 11 Mount Cnruiel Uijissim Inr Wllkenbarre fTAlnf liive Sellntirove Junction i m. d .i 1 1 v HtTtvtnir at fliiladelphla a Nw v "k S 63 P m Baltimore 3 11 p in IufiD 4 lv i tn fin .tally arriving at Philadelphia uNewYmk 3 63 am, Baltimore S48pm ninou io 5t p in. d. uallv arrlvlim at Hhlladelphta k Ne Yurk 713 a m, Haiti mora 2 31) a m r.jlon 4 05 a re :r'us alio leave siinbary : in clilly urrlvlnu at Fhiladefdhla 6 62 a m t rtTdOa m Waahlir-ton 830 am New Em Weekday!. 10 a m Sundays, mda'ly arnvlni? at Plilladelphla 7 22 Ionian.) a m, iu an punim.va uuiii iia. Washington 830 a m. Baltimore I WaslilnKton 1 1 P m. eck dins nrrivlriK at Philadelphia tn.S'w York 2 13 p m, Uulllmore 12 10 p f iilLKion i is p m pi ween aay arrlvinif at i-nimneipnia . N w York v 30 D in. Bait' mora 6 0U p m 'ipi J is p m aidoiv, arrlvtnir at PlillarHnrila 7 82 p m Vorlt io ii p m, Baltimore 7 30 p m, Wash es n m nilw le.ive Sunbury at SO a m and 20 " l m. lur HarriaburK, Philadelphia and I U Orilflll I Um.mm A nnl ilTl'IIIXSON (4an'l Mamurar. , RESTORES VITALITY Made a fV&aV PWOB T ail Mil MM a-a r?u above reeTiltstn' SO day. It acta P aid quickly, cures when all othara fall 1ST ilii!""1 thelr lot : manhood, tad old weoter their youthful vigor by ualaf l)ulc1y and surely reatores Marvoaa 2. 'lUllty, 1m potency. Nightly Kmlaslooa, "Jailing Memoir, Waatlna Dtaeaaea.aad l. abuao or ezcacsand lndlacraUoo, ir"l'iratady.builrjeaaormaiTlaga. II l?r sUrtlng at the seat of diaeaae, bat T JMrve toale and blood ballder, bring. P'nli Kinw to pale ctaoaksandte L are of yo.ith. ft wards off fnaaolti TMloo. Inilnt on barins REFITO.M iZ.?? !" rrls,l in Mat pocket. By mall, .X?. eia tot tJOO, with pool IT"" irnanu-Kx to eaura or mJm I , '; wremarlrea. AodraM Dearberatt, kf aiA !e in ittddleburqh, Pa., tby mLEUROH DRIG CO. aoia by Innuu. - - - abydranrUta. mm w -UaJ 3afe? HEW PAVING MATERIAL. AatkarMlea af a Kew York Tawa I tills Bltamlaoaai Maeaiam with tiratKylna; 8aeeea. One of the problems confronting municipal authorities is the question that occupies a considerable part of the public mind. In New York as phalt has had the preference of late years, but it has so many disadvan tages in wet weather and in winter that the advent of another and better pavement is joyfully hailed. In the lower part of Yonkers, at Park Hill itation, there has just been laid the first sample of bituminous macadam pavement around Jew York. A representative of the Kew York : Tribune paid a visit to Park Hill the other day, and this is what he saw: For about two city blocks the bi tuminous pavement has been laid. The grade of the streets ranges from six to 12 per cent., none of it level. Of course, there has been no chance to tell what the result will be. In ther cities and towns throughout ilie country, however, it has stood the severe tests of heavy traffic and extreme temperature changes. The foundation for this roadway was constructed on the same princi ple as that of a macadam road; thai is, broken stone of assorted sizes, spread over a carefully prepared and rolled subgraile, and rolled with a heavy road roller. After this broken stone had been thoroughly com pressed and kneaded together iu this manner, it was covered with a thin bit minimus compound, which is sufli ciently liquid to adhere to the stone and prepare it for the reception of n thicker bituminous cement, which was then placed upon it in n sulli eiently thick coat to cover the entire surface. On the foundation thus prepared was placed the wearing surface, com posed of all sizes of selected stones, varying from 1' inches in its largest ilimi'iiMon to an impalpable powder, m regulated as to till every void or in terstice. This graded stone is me chanically mixed with a sufficient quantity of bitiim inoti.s cement tn thoroughly eont every particle of it. I so that no unit of the mineral in-j gredient remains without it suitable coat of bituminous paint or cement I This was then spread nnd raked hot ' on the street, about 2'2 inches thick,' the hent of this mixture being snfli-i ciently great to melt the bittimimim cement on the foundation and thor oughly unite the whole pavement in to a homogeneous mass. This w:i. then rolled and compressed until thorouehlv solid. Dnrinn- the upper surface vas thoroughly . covered with a thin coating of very! adhesive, quick-drying bituminous ce-1 ment, which filled any irregularity or ' crevice in the surface of the road- way. (mmWim J L,tnn. r . . . . ,.' "7,1 to one-ouarter , . "r.:; 4K oughly rolled until it is united with the mass. This gives an absolutely M 'tT! 8UrfUCe, P?8?"'"1 ' ,n? v, i """" P u a well-fin.shed macadam road, but hav- me the inherent advantage over a macadam roadway of being absolute - y united from top to bottom, leather and traffic conditions are " ' or ureas up inc mi nice inus united witn tliu bitumin ous cement. Owing to the gritty nature of the surface, slipping of horses or the wheels of rapidly driven automobiles is rendered impossible. Because of the fact that the bituminous cement ueu in me composition or this mix- ture is absolutely indestructible in water, there can be no entry of this! element, which is so destructive to 1 the life of otf,er pavements. There' is, then, a union of all the good qualities of a monolithic pavement without the disadvantages and bad features a smooth surface, unaf fected by water and absolutely non slippery. STRONG LIFTING FRAME. Handy LlttleContrlvanee Whleh Will lie Found Kapeelally laeful on llateherlnar Day. From the nccompnnying cut you will lie able to get an idea of a handy arrangement for lifting, especially ., i...4..i i , ' ""'7"'K pieces of the frame are made of SiOx HANDY DEVICE FOR LIFTING. 14; the legs are 2x4x12, nnd the roll (A) is a round block of wood 13 inches long with two two-inch holes to insert the lever (B). C Is a stick between the lever and frame when th load is drawn up; D is a three quarter-inch rope and E la a single block. The legs should be attached by a bolt running through, the frame, and the holes In the legs be made ob long; in ahape so they will it over a wagon. The bolt must be a lewt four inches longer than the wide. B. E. Clark, la Epitomiat, . i t it. ... .... ..... ' THE SUNDAY SCHOOL. Laaaoa la tha laleraaloaal tcrlea far March 8, lBIKt Paal a F.pkratM. THE LESSON TEXT. (Acta 19:13-.) 15. Then certain of the vaaabond Jew. eiorclstf. took upon them to rail ovet them which hud evil s-plrlts the name of the Lord Jeaup. saying. We adjure you by Jesus whom Paul prcacheth. 14. And tlnre were seven sens of i.n Boeva. a Jew. and chief ot the pi iests. which !d o. 15. And the evil spirit answered and said1 Jesua I know, and Paul 1 know; but whe are ye? 16. And the man In whem the evil spirit was leaped on them, ami owrcnmp them, and prevailed against them, so that they fled out of that house naktii umS wounded. 17. And this wa known to ail the Jewi and Greeks also dwelling; at Ephesus; und fear fell on thm all, nnd the name of tin Lord Jesua wu mngliltied. 18. And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deed's. 18. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men; nn5 they counted the price of them, and. found 11 So.OW pieces of silver. . 8o mightily grew the word of Uod ut: J prevailed. GOLDE TEXT. T ho namr of h Lord Jraoa waa uiaun.ttrl. Acii IOiIT. OUTLINE OF SCnilTl liE SUfTION. Preaching-In the name of Jesui". Acts 1:S-12. Adjuring In the name ot Jesus. Acls 19:13-lfi. Magnifying the name cf Jesus. Acts l!i:17-:o. TIME. A. ll. 67. PLACE.-Ephesi. NOTES AND COMMENTS. As usual, Puul began his work in Kphesus wilh the Jews and prose lytes in the synagogue, lieint tnln r that it was here thai the Jews hail asked him to stay longer when he stopped on his way to Jerusalem after the second journey. He evidently impressed them favorably, and that may in part account for the fact that he was able to work with I hem longer than usual before the rupture oc curred. He preached in the synagogue three months. In Kpht stis, ns on oth er mission fields, Paul supported him self by working at his trade. When Paul finally left the synagogue he took u number who had become Chris, tians with him. Kphesus, like Athens, had its scholars and philosophers who taught sometimes in a public hall devoted to that use, ami sometimes in their own private lecture rooms. It is not easy to decide which was the case here, for some of the ancient manuscripts read, the school of Ty ranntis, as in the revised ven.ion, fa voring the view that the building was a public one, and called the 'School of Tyrannus," while others read with the common Torsion, the school of one iyrannus, meaning of a certain man u..med Tyruniiiis. One of the manu scripts says that Paul used the build ing from 11 o'clock till four, that is, lliler 1,le r,,r,r"1r lecturer was through for thei,ny- The touching day at lliat ,,hUe bep"n Very early nml l'll,s,tl "" !'our Mwe ,loon- liumsay mil her the secoml vicw. 08 probnbly representing what Luke actually ,or two yfa". "d Influenced the Whole Provlnce " A.I.. ior Ephesus was a great commercial center, and no better place could be found from ll'htf,!, 4s, cl,ru,l f'.......l 1. 1.. , "itiii, luoiiiinu inr iiunm'i. jiis inure than like.y that the seven "Churches of Asia." addressed in Kevelation, wer-i a n.snIt o( tllU io(, of The work olltMv of th(, ,.t ,,,,,. aWv puishwI ,)V ,,is IMi!i!ii;, I1!irv ',.,. punious and bv many native hefpers. ..trollig Jews, exorcists:' The practice of "magic," soeall practice ot "magic, meaiied, was very common among the Jews in spite of the prohibitions in the Old Testa ment. These exorcists went about from place to place, claiming the power to work miraculous cures, and particularly to cast out the demons which in those days were supposed to dwell in those whom to-dnv we should call inenmv They used charms of various kinds and repeated magical sentences, and evident ly believed, from what they had seen of Paul's work, that the name Jeaus was a marie w ord of unusual power. The experience of two of the sons of Sceva, for only two of them seem to have been connected with this incident, was a rebuke to such superstition not soou to be for gotten. "Many also of them that had be licved:" Showing how general such superstition had been iu Kphesus. "Fifty thousand pieces of hiker:" These magic books, or rolls, made by hand, of course, have always been very costly. The pieces of silver were prob ably denarii, and the denarius was the average priea of a Jy'i work. Hy T . ' t v. T 7. . . ' . burning their books the Christians put temptation behind them, and pre- ',,, .u. .thiii.v. f .'.. l J """"(, iu their demoralizing practices, showing their sincerity and their wisdom. PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS, The more boldly one testifies for Christ the greuter number of converts he will 6ecure. Feople still r.cd to be reasoned with and persuaded as to the things con cerning the Kingdom of God. To invoke the name of Jesus insin cerely is to aroue eril, not to drive it OBt. The Gospel arouses the consciences of men so that they confess their evil deeds and abandon them. The Gospel forces no one to give up anything but that which is false and artful. Christian Character. To reject correction, is to refuse wis dom. Great sorrows expand the heart to "cev great joys, Uuniility 5.tL ""et ot the steady ueau lue God will always set the picture of Character in a worthy chamber. The salvation oi this worU waits for the aavrender of our wills to God's. Keep the H'ord in y oar heart and you can keep the) world trt of your life. It Is better to send a food name be fore us than to leave a La rye fortune iwJind. Barn's Horn. DR. FENNER'S KIDNEY and Backache All diseases of Kidneys, CURE oiauuor, urinary organ a. Also Rheumatism, Back ache, HeartDlaeaie. Gravel, Sropiy, Female Troubles. Don t become discouraged. Ther Is a cure mr you. n necessary writs Ir. tenner tie baa speut a life time curing Just such vaseaaa vuurs. All consultations Free, A gravel Indued In my bladder. A fter ""'J1?. 'ew bottles of Dr. Fenner's Kldnev and Uuckachej Cure I passed a gravel half n' lurireasaiiiarble. The medicine prevented . ui ,uli aurumuuiif. i wnseiircu. W.T.OAKES. Orrlx.Va." PruKitJstsJVVv.lt. Ask for Cook Book-Free. XT VlTirc'ilANPE ?ure Cure. Circular. In Cure Cure. Circular. I'l Keunur. Fredooia.N. V he Ordered C lam ( hiimlrr, jjitiiV--inee liiht Min'.mcr I haw some boys 'treading for clams.' as they called it .They were very TrTVook- ing boys; they were barefooted feet Unwashed most likely und thev were wulking through the mud at low tide. When they felt a cl.-yn with their feet, they lifted it out with their toes. It just made me sick. I hope your dams ure not caught that way? Waiter In course not, ma'am. The man wot furnishes clams to this res taurant fishes for em with a silver tpoon. X. Y. Weekly. A Speaking I.ILrnrn, "Mr. Jones." began old Skin din, the boss, us he cleared bis throat, "you have been in my emplny just 20 years to-day, and have proven a good nnd faithful servant. 1 propose to make you a substantial recognition of your fidelity. Here's u photo of myself us a present." "Thanks. 1 1 's just like you." mut tered Jones as he accepted the val uable gift. Baltimore American. I'repnriHlonM. "Is you got a razor you could len' Tile to shave nicre'f V" asked Mr. Frastus 1'inkley. "I'se gwioc to do pnlity to-night." "What's dc matter vvif yob own ra ror?" "Well, you si', I jes' got it stropped up line dis aftulinoon, an' I hates tj (lull de edge."- Washington Star. Optional, of nurac. "Sir!" exclaimed the offended bridegroom, "it is customary for the clergyman to kiss the bride!" "Well ci I reckon you're right about tbiy," replied the ecclesiastical accomplice, with another glance at the bride's face, "but I believe that is attached as a privilege, and not er Cot us a penally." Hal'jinore New. Worthy of Conalderallon. "In heaven's name, why is De Kigeur so attentive to that ordinary woman?" "H""h, orshe might heei-you Tat'i the new cook he is taking home." Towi Topics. lie Fooled the (ualumrr. Mollie What character did y ou lake at the masquerade? Chollie 1 Wftit us a fool. "Oh, I thought everyone had to wear mine disguise!" Yonkers Statesman. tnlle KncouriiKlnu. Tom lias hu given you any en couragement? Dick 1 should say so. She tells me iihe will have all the old man's wealth when he dies. Town Topics. Flrat and l-n. Caeper Among the ancient doctors bleeding the patient was the first op eration in treating n case. Charlie And now it's the last. Harvard Lampoon. And Hi-kIm IIIIIiik. Handout Harry Aw, wot yer 'fraid of? Don't yer know, dat it bar kin' dorg never bites? Tiepass Teddy Sure I do, but he might quit burkiu'. '. Y. lleruld. Sure Enough. A member of u Sunday school wa? one day asking some children ques tions on Iliblo knowledge. So far as he had gone the children did very well, but when asked: "Where does the word 'holy' first occur in the Bible?" the children could not answer for a minute or so, till a sharp urchin stood up and said: "1'lcase, sir, on the cover." Tit Bits. Speculator's Fall. Tom Poor Jaggers isn't on the board of trade any more. Jack No. Jle might have succeed ed in wl eat if he hadn't dabbled in rye X. Y. Herald. lie Hot One. Edith Hut kissing bus again been declared dangerous. Tom Well, you know I promised to go through any danger for you. Chicago Daily .News. Fitted for It. "Mrs. Flanders tells me she has gone in for a course of health cul ture." "Well, she always did have, a mag nificent constitution." Life. So Like a Barft-aJa. "I thought she refused him some time ago because he was so fat?" "Well, 6be did; but since then he's been reduced from 200 to 198." Brook lyn Life. Straight Tip. He (cautiously) What would you say if I should ask you to be my wife? She (more cautiously) Why don't you ask roe and find out? Chicago Daily News. Gone t'p In Smoke. "Did you invest dat nickel fer me?" "dure, Willie. I put it into de ciga rette trust." Chicago American. The most important legislation on this subject has been for the crea tion of the forest reserves. These reserves now con Per rat Preser vation. tain G4U75.7G3 acres, of which 13,Ttij,jj(! acres have been added within the last year. The scientific in.'iiui'rt'mei't and control ot tb'is vast area will afford ample op portunity for the energies of the titlicers in charge. Forests should lot be reserved from the use of man, i but for his M.-e. The ripe or matured trees should be marketed and the growing timber carefully preserved, lrstead of the indiscriminate destruc tion of all trees, large and small, the marketable ones tdiouhl be so cut and removed as to leave the young forest the freest and fullest oppoi t unity for rapid growth. These re serves, declares the Hon. John p. Iicey, writing in (iunton's magazine rhould be more than self-supporting. They should yield it revenue over and above the expense of their care. Such grazing should be permitted as can be dure without del riment to the purposes of the reserve. Fiidcr vvis'j and prudent forestry there is n: waste. liipened trees are removed and leave space for the youngct growth. In natural conditions in dividual trees die and are replaced br others. Hut when our national for ests are rightly administered each year will yield its supply of farming timber for the use of the people. rorestrv is tree farming on a grand scale. It is no idle dream, but we may reasonably hope that in the future Ihe nation's wood-) will not only i-oeel the Hernial nice ami nur ity of the water supply, but will iu a large degree supply the needs of the people for timber products. Much, we Know, was demanded of the hiliircn of tin and more ears ago in Infantile l l quetle. me wax oi man ners, "lie a little holy," and "He a little gentleman." were frequent in junctions, compliance wilh which im plied far greater restraint and formal in than it-would to-dny. 1 1. i. earcely possible, however, that t he experience of one .small buy of lluil. i., ii,! ,-:,n have bchen a common one. (Hie even ing," he relates in some recent rem iniscences, "When 1 was abi ul ciiht years old, I wa senl In alleluia lady of ,")0 to an evening Ifcturc. She was aunt to my half-brothers nnd the (laughter of a I'.oslon tnereluiiit and magistrate, an I she had the old-time n.ol ions of dignity and decorum. I sup. wise she had never addressed her mother except, as 'Honored .Madam,' or ended a- letter to her exeent bv the I " - - - - formula: 'Your respectf-:! ncd obedi ent daughter.' I set forth with her with tome owe, not lessened when pres ently she turned upon me nnd raid: '1 should think that-a young gentleman brought up in such u family as yours would have the courtesy toolfer his arm to a lady when he walks out with her tfter dark.' I was struck dumb with amazement. As 1 slill took my lather's forefinger when we walked out to gether, I had hardly considered in v -self a young gentleman bound to the courtesy of grown men toward ladies, and I Hill think fhe was somewluit hord upon so young a chap as 1 for the neglect of his manners." However tow ering this old-time- lady's dignity, she could scarcely, we must think, have been equally stately in nature if she was able t-oneeept wit h comfort Iliearm which her juvenile escort doubtless hastened to olTcr her aflcr such tin im pressive rebuke. Frof. ('. A. L. Totlen, formerly mil itary instructor at Yale, replying in the question of a New Yorker w het It er l'.iOil is to be a lucky or an unlucky year, says: "W hat is the mat ter with either Friday or the number j::? As to .vincnen, it. hears i;i all over its! heraldry, and Friday has been its' chief day (discovery of America, dec laration of independence, etc.). W have M letters in K Pluribus I'nimi, i the motto on our great seal. We have ' l.'l, Li times repeated, on that seal. Take out a new silver quarter, if you have one left, and count the thirteens, even oil its obverse face. Mnnnassch was the thirteenth tribe in Israel and we are the people." "Lady servants" ore coining into vogue in England. They areeducated women, who do the work of cook and chambermaids, but who, for superior worker, get superior accommodations, and do what they please nftcr their work is done. Why, indeed, cannot n woman be both a lady and' a servant? We see iu this movement the solution of the servant-girl problem. , A New England primer bought for 12 cents has been sold for $2, .100. Learning comes high but our million aires are bound to have it. "Wooden shoes are coming in again at Ellis island. European manufactur ers have advanced the price of leather. Buildings- are being built so tall in New York that there will be a demand for a cafe in the elevators. The Chicago Inter Ocean, finds that tine number of books per capita io the United States; is nine. ( Aro You SicItZ Do tou suffer from Xidnev. Lirec Bladder or Blood Disease or any uiia ary trouble. Dyspepsia, Rheumatism. Constipation, or if a woman any of the sicknesses peculiar to your sex ? If bo, semi your address- to I)r. Dartd Kennedy Corporation, Itondout, N.Y and they will send you absolutely froa a trial bottle of DR. KENNEDY'S FAVORITE REMEDY, the (rreateat speeifle known to modioli aelencw for ttie cursor theae diatuuiea or any uric acid trouble. Il haa boon uavd by pliyBicwiui ir bonpitals and sanitariums (or nearly tlnrtj Tears with unfailing autvoss. i nlr is at larg-e to-day it van bo found at any drui; more .oo BmM o e f K.on. Ilia It am pa. "That man is a phrenologist, rat. "A what?" asked Fat. puzzled. "A phrenologist." "An' sure, what's that, sorr?" "W hy, ta man that can tell, by feel ing the bumps on your head, what kind of a man you are." "Humps on my head, is it?" ex claimed Fat. "ltegorra, then. 1 think it would give him more of an idea what kind of n woman my wjfe is." London Answers. Cbanitrd. "I rnri not for the value cf a nlft, The Merit's nil In all to im" sl'.e snlif. Hut the lost her temper Just because a frlenit Hud no more wit nur wisdom ttuin to nen l A bonk tl-.ut cost a dollar w hk-h che'd read. t'lilciiKo Heenrd-Ili-ralil. Kl I 1.1 Ml (I 11 A. Appleton - What do you raise in Cuba during the rainy season? Hannanio - ( Hi. eaiu and unbrellas, principally. N. Y. Sun. A Wreek. Ho thought lier luiir was nil lier own, Till she Kiive In r head a twlteli. He saw an,;, (led. "Pwas anot lu r wreck 'au.eif by a mlsplucid twitch. N. V. Herald. , Alinnt No. -Miss Wilter has (ircene- brought suj-yrijinst (Ilifkins for breach of jmuiuibc, uaming uei uiunages at u, 000. (iray Funny about, women. If he had married her she would by this time, perhaps, be telling him that he is absolutely Transcript. worthless. Jlostou Indrprndentl)- llleli. Mrs. Dearborn -She must be very rich. Mrs. Wabash Oh, she is. "Do you know the source of her in come?" "Yes; she draws alimony from live former husbands." Yonkers States man. I'lrnalnif Marian -I showed those verses vou wrote me to papa, and he seemed pleased. Harry He did? Marian Yes. He said be was so glad to see you were not a. poet. Spare Moments. taitcliliuc a Cook. Helen -How shall I word the adver tisement, Herbert ? Herbert - W ell, say-"Lady help needed; gentle treatment, high salary, no t king - no washing- no ironing nothing to do but eat and go out afternoons."- Ilrooklyn Life. At the Minalrrla. "Mr. Hones, djd vou ever bear the story of the pump?" "I don't think so, Mr. Tambo. Is it a good story?" ".No, it has been worked in the ground." X. Y Herald. I.rltlntr Ilia. "Clarence looks happy since his rich uncle died und didn't leave him u cent." "Yes! The lawyer for the estate has promised him half if he'll con. test the will." Fuck. Motherly Care. i First Society Mother You don't have anything to do with your baby, do you? Second Society Mother Oh, my, yes. The nurso has every other Sunday out. X. Y. Herald. A Knowlnn Clerk. Purchaser I want something to give my mother-in-luw something in neck Clerk I tee; you will find the axes in the basement. llaltimore Amer ican. Vrarloua Comment. Miss Thin Don't you think my new dress is just exquisite? They all say so. Fannie Oh, lovely! I think that dressmaker of yours could make a clothes-prop look graceful. Tit-Bits. Knew All Aboat It. "Don't you know whot a coquette is, Uennic?" "Yes, mamma; a coquette is a' thing they make out of fricasseed chicken the second day." Y'onkeri Statesman. i r