MIDDLEBUKG POST.
UNCLE HENRY ON LUCK.
Bon people say there ain't luck la
this world; thy claim
It'a wtJom and hard work and pluck
that brine folks wraith and fame:
I don't deny that there's a pile of truth
In what they say.
But still It makes me kind of smile to
hear 'em talk that way.
Whin Elder Johnson's oldest son. some
dosan year ago.
Cot ttrej farmln' here and ruji away to
Join a show.
It but up. first thlnn he knrw, and left
hlra stranded tint.
Not knoain' what the deuce to do, ex
cept pais 'round the hat
And then a doctor took him up. In some
Ker lucky town.
And he's a famous surgeon now and,
saltln' money down.
There wa'n't no luck about that no! No
luck at all. you bet
Bui he'd be with the one-horse show,
If't hadn't busted, yet;
Anfl last week old Dave Simpson's dog.
while sort of snoopln round.
Barked up a hollow, rotten log, and
what d'you s'pose they foundT
Tesi thousand dollars' worth of gold somo
roldier'd hid one day
Of cource 'twas all Dave's wisdom made
his d"i take on that way.
One ttnu in church, when Pick Bhaw's
May got up to sing a tune.
A strainer that was there that day go
interested soon
Just happened that he'd staed because
lu-'d mlssr! his train, you Know-
But May's not workln" like she was In
them days, long ago;
The vtrutiger took 'er off somewhere and
trained 'er voice somehow.
And she's his wife and lives In style, and
sings In op'ry now.
No, there's no such a thing as luck to
help a person through;
It's wisdom and hard work and pluck
makes folks do whnt they do
J s'pose If I'd been born In some big
castle on a hill
They'd drove me out. for I'm so dumb,
and I'd be farmln' still.
S. K. Klser, In Chicago Record-Herald.
fame of chloroform assailed my
consciousness, and I pasted Into
pleasant dream.
I came back to a knowledge of my
surroundings to find myself gagged.
and in a recumbent position on the
floor. My arms bad been trussed
tightly behind my bark and my legs
were securely tied with a tough
cord. My back waa pressed against
the bottom drawer in my heavy desk,
and when I tried to move, I discovered
that my body was fastened securely
to it by a cord wound about its base.
The knots cut into my flesh. My pos
ture made struggling ,n utter impossibility.
Speechless and helpless, I gaed up
"Curs yoa, yeas 4og! lie tarre,
and think when yoa hear the door
locked upon you that your remaining
apell on thla earth la in my .hands.
I will not do It too hastily. Yon
shall have a few momenta for re
flection before you are launched in
to eternity. Oh, yes, it would be
cruel to kill a man like you without
allowing time for repentance. Ten
minutes or perhaps a little longer.
Wake the most of It, I beg. Think,
amongst other things, of all the poor
devils you have sent to perdition. A
few short minutes, and then, the girl
will ring you up. Ha! ha!"
He rose, a fiendish glare on his
face, and sprang to the door. Un-
bewilderedly at my nssailunt. lie , expectedly his eye roust have caught
was enveloped in a black ninckintosh, I the electric switch, for the next sec-
i . .....
and my gaze lingered dazedly on the
discoloured red lining inside the cape
which was thrown over his shoulders.
His sinister-looking face wa dis
torted with a look of snvage exulta
tion as he noted my return to con
sciousness. The ncit instant an evil
smile crept into his eyes a horribly
expressive smile thut made my blood
run cold, and left me engcr for
Ms speech
ond the room was plunged into dark
ness.
"A good idea," he snarled. "You
shall wait for death in the dark
not knowing when it shall come up
on you."
The door clicked behind him. I
heard the key turn in the lock and
withdrawn, and as the soft pad, pad
of his footsteps died away along the
corridor, I renewed my straining
I REVENGE BY TELEPHONE. $
By John J. Armstrong.
i i Hp II K papers in 'Ilex v. Grimes,'"
1 said Johnson, my clerk, as he
placed a bundle nt my elbow. "Sec
ond cause in to-morrow's list."
"Oh, certainly," I said, looking up
from the evening pit per on my tlesk.
"I shall stay here aud digest them.
The 'Monitor' seems to think the
O'Leary couple got their just de
serts?" "So they did, sir," returned John
son; "but, by Coke, you never gave
the defense a ghost of a chnnce!
Marshall was as weak as water af
ter you'd finished. Not thnt he could
have done much for 'cm anyhow. It's
& good riddance to a dangerous lot,
fay I." He paiifccd, and u serious look
crept over his spectacled face. "I
don't want to pose as an alarmist,"
he said presently, "but if nny man
lias niuue enemies who are to be
feared to-"day", you're thdt man. Un
til the oVher O'teary is with his uc
complices, I wouldn't like to be in
your shoes."
Johnson was an old servant and
held himself privileged accordingly
I laughed in his face. "You're get'
ting quite an old woman," I cried. He
shook his head in silent dissent
"Come here, you croaker. Open thut
drawer. There imw, do you think I
am aide t' lake carV of myself?
Here, help vuur.-c'.f to a cigar and
get off."
"Very good, sir." he said, arf he
ehamUcd to the door. "If report
peaks true of Tim O'Leary, 1 ad
vise viiii to keep it loaded. Ciood
night."
"Johnson's getting decidedly
ebakv," I solioquized. "I suppose
he's seen me in a hundred cases for
the Crown, and yet he breaks out
like this when a couple of assassins
are put out of the way of working
further mischief through my in
Mrimentalitv. There's some mlt
patjon when a frenzied creature flies
out at another in hot Mood at an
apparent injury. Hut anarchists
cold-blooded, indiscriminate murder
ers, l'ah! 1'or them there should be
tio mercy."
My musing were suddenly inter
rupted by a i;r-r-r-r-r from the tele
tibone Ik-11. .Striding over to the in
itrnment 1 took the receiver
-Hallo: that you, Uick?" came the
roiee of Marshall. "You got the ku
cos, to-day, my learned brother,
han? von! Ner pave me a look-in
That g-nt!e restraint usually assumed
by tlie leader for the Crown was
strikingly conspicuous by its absence.
Quite a shock to me, I declare. You
shouldn't outrage legal canons in that
way, my boy, without due notice to
the def'-rjM-. f-haJl I k! you at the
rJuh? What's that busy! Ho'm I.
You're g.ii:.t vit in Oriines to-morrow,
aren't you? Well, grind on,
ml (. voor ln-vt vou'll want it! I'll
eov ll 2ip you'out in an hour'. , "cognize its appearance
t'.:i.-. Bo-long. IJr-r-rr-r-.
1 r-mm-d ijv M-at with a smile.
TLoi.g!j jroJej'fjil duly frequent
ly uic 'Jiuiiy Marshall arid iiykelf
i:A i'er.-uie(. in priiat" life we
ytri- c'ofce-kuit iriuOh. liul.'y and
ts; tjv'.l Vi-re adept at forensic bair-sp'itti.'-g.
Hit jonoVrou ktyje, which
jrate nervous wit i&to his
JuiU'? was a direct .-ojjtrat to my
a-iiic, treri ha.'; manner. When he
th-ot with hi "M'iud, I object!"
the yutWnf-n in the well would
l.k tp wjth sii.vjM-d fac-s in antii
paUou ;f a wordy duel. S't man
l-tver than hiiuit ltu-w how to
loiv-r Mp a fk tw. So uxuu was
j'ji.i-T t t-ie au vpenibg. A mas
ter '.i lejral arti?;"-, h had liood
wiiil.d vniy a jury by tuidulter
atA3 bJvff-
iixvrrufi J tuarshalliuif wiy
Jiewit, I eribbd ou, whfu udienly
Coolly annexing one of my cigars like a maniac. The cords tore into
my flesh. The blood surged up in my
head as if the veins that held it would
burst. Knowing that every moment
waa vitally precious, I fought for my
life with the desperate energy of
despair, until, utterly exhausted, I
collnpsed and lay supine and impo-
The imminence of an awful
he lit it, and, stooping, puffed the
smoke deliberately into my eyes.
"Good-evening, Kichard Shenstone,
e said nuiettv. "You're no doubt
surprised to find yourself in your
present const mined position. I re
gret the necessity, but do you the
compliment of saying thnt with a j tent,
slippery individual like yourself it
wise to take no risks. Klclinru
Bhenstone, I am come to kill you!"
He announced his purpose as coolly
as if retailing nn anecdote. For a
brief second mv heart seemed to
Salt pork is a famous old
fashioned retried v for con-
sumption. "Eat plenty of
pork," Yk'as the advice to the
consumptive 50 and 100
years ago. ,
Salt pork is good if a man
can stomach it. The idea
behind it is that fat is the
food the consumptive needs
most.
Scott's Emulsion is the mod
ern method of feeding fat to
the consumptive. Pork is too
rourh for sensitive stomachs.
Scott's Emulsion is the most
refined of fats, especially
prepared for easy digestion.
Feeding him fat in this
way, which is often the only
way, is half the battle, but
FUTURE
death froze my Wood. Merciful Scott's Emulsion does more
neaveni II 1 couia oniy iree one
hand! If I could but "scream! This than that.
4At tiAlnlAsunpM wna linrrililp. '
" " 'l',v "
There is some-
innr n nrvnf rr.o rnmKtn-itinn
clock on the mantel maddened my of Cod IlVer Oil and hypOphOS
brain. Suddenly it struck the half t,;,, Crtffc l?,,!
into the
. , . n.i a I
cense its pulsation. ine nexv m
mtan tn 4Ka ihrnfi nf mortal terror. tnne The nmind fired me from the
I was straining at my bonds like a coma of despair into which my tin- that pUtS neV life
frenzied madman. His burst or availing efforts had plunged me to r. f j L cnr,-i1
mocking laughter fired me with the make another spasmodic effort; but WeaK parts ana nas a special
strength of a ginnt, but it was in it was useless. My constrained posl- action On the diseased lunPTS.
tain. I he lenow naa secureu iue uuv tmn neuiranzea my sirengm.
too well. Overcome with my stren- The infernal assassin had given
uous efforts I collnpsed, while the ' me no chnnce. 1 en minutes! Great
henvens! Five must have flown al
ready. Great heaven! what was that a
footstep in the passage? "My brain
fiend urged me with horrible chuck-
lings to persist.
"Good!" he cried. "I like to sec a
man die game! Now, listen to me,
liiehard Shenstone! This day, through was surely fooling me! But no, it
your malignant eloquence, you sent
two men to a living death. lou
would say that you were but an in
strumenttheir fate was assured,
whoever had pronounced the indict
ment. Probably so, my learned
friend; but I was in court, and knew
you were glorying in the tnsk. Dog
that you are, you gloated over your
victims as if you enjoyed the sport of
it! Fool, and worse than fool, to
Imagine that you could defy us with
impunity. Hut enough of this. There
is one 0 Leary left to not ns avenger
of bis brothers. This night I strike
a blow which will vindicate the
brotherhood in the eyes of their
comrades the world over, and by the
same act punish you as you deserve.
A shade of tolerance a little re
straint and vou would have been
spared."
He threw the half -smoked cigar in
to the grate and, springing to his
feet, crossed behind me to the door.
As he rose, I noticed that his boots
were covered with galoshes, which
accounted for his noiseless entry. In
a moment he was before me again, n
small black bag in his hand. With
staring eyes I watched him as he
Missed over to the telephone and set
the bag down very carefully on the !
floor.
Fumbling in his pocket he pro
duced what appeared to me the
striker of an alarm clock, which he
proceeded, with deft fingers, to at
tach to the hammer of the telephone
bell. I followed his every move
ment as a trapped animal watches
Its destroyer.
From his lips there issued the sound
of suppressed laughter as he rose and
surveyed his work. Measuring off
a space directly above the bell he
screwed into the telephone box a lit
tle hook. Immediately below he
screwed another, ami then he turned
and bent to open the hag.
"No common-place end shall be
yours," he snarled malevolently. "You
shall admit the method of your an
nihilation has the merit of origin
ality at least. And, more than that,
it shall be contrived by the hand of
one as innocent of Intent to murder
clanked nearer. Someone was rat
tling the handle of the door. "Hang
the fellow, he's gone!" The voice
I knew it! It was Marshall my
friend Marsholl come before his
time! Thinking me gone, he turned
away.
Merciful Heaven, he must not go!
With the frenzy of despair I bent a
tattoo with my heel agninst the desk.
"That's-flueer; it's all dark!" Mar
shall cried. "Dick, old chap," he
shouted, "are you there?"
For answer I kicked the wood en
ergetically. "By George," he muttered, "there's
something wrong. I'm going, to in
vestigate.
In fancy I could see him as, plant
ing his feet against the opposite
wall, he applied his shoulder to the
door, and with the purchase thus
obtained thrust with all his mighty
strength.
Would he succeed in forcing it?
Again and again he tried, dashing
himself against it, but in vnill. Hack
ing against the wall, he smashed nt
it with the flat of his heavy boot.
The crash was followed by the sound
of rending wood. It was yielding
it wus yielding! Another mighty
kick, and the hasp of the lock was
torn bodily off, and the door flew
open.
In nn instant Marshall's fingers
found the switch, and the room was
flooded with light.
"Heaven ond earth!" he cried, as he
caught sight of my helpless figure.
"What deviltry is this?"
Springing across the room, he
forced the gag from my jaws and com
menced to hack the bonds from me.
My mouth was parched, and, utterly
unstrung for n few seconds, although
our very lives hung on it, I could say
no word. Then suddenly the re
action came, and I shrieked in mortal
terror:
"Marshall, the tube!" He followed
my gaze, and jumped to his feet.
"Nitro-glycerine!" I yelled madly.
"L'nhook it, quick, but carefully,
Marshall, for your life! Place it in
that jar."
In one bound he was at the tele-
A sample will be
sent free upon request.
Be sure that this ptcturt In
the form of a label is on the
wrapper of every bottle of
Emulsion you buy.
SCOTT &
BOWNE,
CHEMISTS,
409 Pearl St., N. Y.
50c. and $1; all druggists.
If you are in need of Furniture, Carpet
Mattings, Rugs, Oilcloth, Linoleum, Lac
Curtains, Window Sliude?, Pictures, and
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Style and in
Prices
Our etock is new and up-to-date. It is
no trouble to show goods and quote prices.
REPAIRING neatly aud promptly done.
Lewistoun Furniture Co,,
No. 1 2-1 4.ValIey Std;v Felix Block
SPECIAL NOTICE.
IMPORTANTiEW
His View of It.
Deacon Jones About all women go
to church for is to show their new
clothes. v
Mrs. Jones Well, they don't make
a cloak of religion, anyway.
Deacon Jones Of course not. It's
too plain and inexpensive. Chicago
Daily News, ,
His Opinion.
"Do you believe in women's suf
frage?" "Well," answered Mr. Meekton,
"sometimes I think it would be a con
venience if the ladies could go to the
polls themselves instead of giving us
instructions and taking chaneea on
mistakes. Washington Mar.
Where He Excelled.
Kefntly a letter of introduction
was handed by un actor to 11 manager
which described the bearer as on ac
tor of much merit, and concluded:
"He ylaVB Macbeth, Kichelicu, Ham-
I let, Sliylock anil billiards. He ploys
billiards best." Tit-Hits.
Have you heard of the New Dry Go-ds and Notion Store t
Suiilitiry.
We wish to inform you that we have opened a first class
with an entire new line of BA.RGAINS to beat anything you havt
ever heard of in Sunbury. - We cordially invite you all to com.
to towu and look through our large Dry Goods Stock.
will be glad to show you around Whether you buy or not.
Here are a few of the many bargains we are offering :
1000 yds. muslin to go at 3c yd.; underwear in town for 25e pi
1000 yds. muslin to go at 5c yd. Linen and comfortables at sp
Oinghams special value oc yd.
Calico 5c yd.
Double bed blankets 49c to S8.00.
Elegant line of Men's Children's
and Indies' Hose 10 and 12c.
The'best and heaviest Ladies' ribbed
prices.
Dress Goods. If you waiit to i(
See our large stock before J
uuy eisewnere, irom 10c up
Art i
.ou a vara.
COATS AND CAPES.
If you want to save big money this Fall on Coats, Capes and FJ
see our stock. Come in and be convinced. JNo trouble to showgnj
- H.F. CLEMMER,
440 MARKET ST. . . . - 7 Y ' SUNEDRT.fl
Three doors east of the Market House.
Following; It I P.
"What was Marcy's subject when he
graduated?"
"' Drop by drop.' "
"Valedictorian, wasn't he?"
"Yes. What's he doing now?"
"Driving a sprinkling cart." Cleve
land riain Dealer.
Soiuethlnu; of a Champion.
Tatience I hear her father is an aw
ful kicker.
Patrice I should soy so! Why, he's
discouraged on even dozen suitors for
his daughter's hand! Yonkers States
man.
a. any emiu. nw wa.c, me c.o.c.y , hnd .
my jrieno, ami irarn now mc uiuu ui : ,
death will Mrike you."
He plunged Iiih fingers Into the
bag and drew out a glass jar full of
water, In which there appeared sus
pended an inner glass tube filled with
some yellow liquid.
"If you ore anything of a scien
tist," he said, drawing it slowly out,
"you will know that this little tube
requires very delicate handling.
Nitro-glycerine, Khenstone? Do you
? The least
shock to that fragile receptacle, and
" He elevated his eyebrows and
tmil'-d in my face significantly.
"S'iw l't me explain the modus
operandi.
"You will obM-ne here, let into the
tld: of the tube, the necessary per
t union-cap. You see, I attach the
kutpending wire to the hook so, and
this dependent wire to the other
Mj, which brings the little cap al
iot into contact with ' the em-
tended harnm-r of the telephone bell.
Now, my eloquent murderer, what do
you imagine will happen when you
are next rung up? Iung up! Hy
heavens; that's the neatest touch of
all!"
He laughed again- a hollow, mirth
lets laugh like that of a madman.
I Take it away, yi fool!" I wanted
V shriek. "Don't you see that at
any moment someone may cull up?"
Ju.4ow ft'ui lehiul tti TMt ver Uj eyes must have flushed the words
tb jijer Iju mj hul. and as uiy bps were powerless to utter, for
J slewed rvvud, strong area w nt a sudden the fiend stxd, and,
tlrwj rvtiud uij imk, a nlvth w bittinjr m stuiiuint; blow is tb
jm4 fcer wy tint biUjjtf le, LiJ:
hooked the dependent wire, and hnd
drawn the tube away from the ham
mer. And, as he held it in his flngera,
before he could detach it from the
hook at the top the call came,
H-r-r-r! rang out the bell. When it
ceased I was howling with mad, lr-
Marshall coolly unhooked the tube,
suspended It in the jar of water, and
took the receiver in his bund.
"Hullo! who're you?" he yelled.
He waited a moment for the an
swer, but receiving none, with thut
never-failing presence of mind thnt
distinguihhed him, in a trice he hud
rung up the exchange.
"Where did that coll come from?"
he demanded. "(jood! Put mo
through to the Central police ta
tion. Hallo! is that you, Jacques?
I'm Marshall. Tell finelgrove to come
to the Instrument at once, O'Leary
gang, I suppose?" he queried, turning
to me. "1 thought so! That you,
Jim? Attempted anarchist outrage
at my friend rihenstone's chambers.
Tim O'Leary! Just left the Borough
lioad telephone call-ofllce. Jf you're
spry you'll nail him. Oet Jucques'to
war the railway lot. lllght!"
Marshall's promptitude in warning
the officials afforded them the op-
portunity to take my dastardly as
isalluiit in the very act of boarding
an outgoing train, I had the grstlll
cation of identifying him the next
morning, and later on of seeing him
meet with his just deserts, London
Answers,
IntclllKe-nt.
Mr.s. Mcdders They say he's going
tew marry Hal Perkins fer her land,
Mr. Meddcrs That shows he's
smart.
Mrs, Medders Oh, yes; he knows
a lot when he sees it. Judge.
Unpleasant for the Dentist.
Church I see the definition of a
gentleman is one who never gives
pain.
Gotham I don't suppose my den
tist would like it if I told him that.
Yonkers Statesman.
Orest Mead for flnslneas.
Barber That man who just went out
has a good head for business.
Customer That old, bold-headed
gentleman?
Harbcr Yes; I sell him three bottles
of hair tonic a month. Tit-Hits.
Tell mc your ambition and advise me as to your ability, 4
mav be the brainiest man in the world, but unless you have tlie
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i'niladeipnu.
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KIDNEY and
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CURE
All dlitaiss of Kldnsri. ,
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